Perception 4n8l

Perception

E.P. DA SILVA

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© 2019 E.P. DA SILVA. All rights reserved.

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Published by AuthorHouse 11/22/2019

ISBN: 978-1-7283-3723-4 (sc) ISBN: 978-1-7283-3722-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019919499

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 1

M r. and Ms. McNeil was a happy couple, and they were both born in England. Three years after their marriage Ms. McNeil dream was to have a baby. They were trying really hard, but we’re having lots of problems for her to get pregnant, until one day their wish came through, and Nathan McNeil was born. For all the McNeil families then there he was their first and only baby born, and throughout his whole life, he was the one that bought value for his parents. However like any other teenagers sometimes have secrets they keep from their parents, grandparent’s or any other close family member, at times they share those secrets with close friends. Nathan lived in England until his teens, and for one reason or another, his parents decided to move from England to the U.S.A. Once here, life went on for Nathan Will, he continuous to attend High School went to college and graduated with a Business Degree. Every summer vacation one of the most important things that he did was to go see his grandparents and some of his old friends in England. Some of his friends now we’re doing well as he was but, some of them were doing to worse. At one time or another Nathan wanted to help them better themselves and he would think they are the one that needs to get themselves out of their own complications… Unfortunately, after the last visit he found out his grandfather had cancer, so his parents decided to move back to England to spend time with them. Nathan decided to stay here. His parents agreed to leave him in the USA. Nathan inheritance a beautiful house, as well as a large amount of money that didn’t know, existed, but what

was he going to say, no thank you; instead he was very grateful for the way they care about him financially, but even more the way they love him. Nathan was doing well in his work; he was doing really well and enjoying life. He thought about having a couple of his bodies to move in with him, but then nature has a way to come up with a solution to a problem when is not expected. It was a Friday night when he steps out from work when all of a sudden he gazed hypnotically at a tall, slender woman she looked and him and returns a smile that made him nervous with excitement. Her eyes were blue yet warm in appearance; a picture of natural beauty, he wonders if she was aware of how attractive she really was. He fell in love with Kathy White the first time that his eyes set on her. She had everything that a man could find desirable on a woman. Her blond silk hair hung loosely over her shoulders, and her blue eyes dazzled in appearance. He was hypnotized by her beauty, and as he stood in front of her figure she smiles and from that moment on, he gave her his heart and promised that he would never let her go. Would he dare? Should he dare? He thought about it. Who would dare try stopping him? He wouldn’t care. So at that moment Nathan standing right in front of Kathy he kissed her soft lips. He thought she was going to hit him, but that day that woman of his life accepted his love as she kissed him back and at that very second it proves that they both had fallen in love at the same time. They didn’t wait too long to be married, and after that life was beautiful, serene, and the love sharing among their friends and families. Nathan loves her mother and father in law the way they were, especially for the gift that they created for him, the women that he looks has been a special gift for his love.

They were thrilled to have him as the one that married Kathy, also their only child they had on their life when then all 4 of them were a small family tight as a strong chain. Kathy, of course, had some other uncles, cousins, and nephews that lived across the U.S.A. They would see them once or twice during on birthdays, or some other type of special events. All in all their life was great, even better when one day when Nathan walks into the house and his wife says, “My love I am pregnant.” And again for Nathan was great news for his life. Nine months then went by, but when that beautiful day comes on, he was at work. By the time he arrived at the hospital, he was one hour late. He made his way to the delivery room, and he ed that was the time he was most afraid. He was anxious and feared the worse, and as he entered the room, he was meeting up be a doctor and nurse who both looked at him in a way that told him all he needed to know. Nevertheless, just the word of the Dr. was not enough to convince him that was it true as he pulls the blanket entirely off the bed and there they were Nathan Will little angel responsiveness been hold right next to his mother breathless. He was hurt; his heart was in pain and agony as the only thing that he felt like doing at that very second was to scream out loud. “God, why, why, why.”? Then he left his house with his friends, Paul Butler, and Joel Coats and alone hurt broken and agony he went to England for two years. When he finally comes back, he started to live his new life every since Kathy Will, and their little angel says Goodbye

Chapter 2

I t was about 2 o’clock on Friday afternoon as the school bus stopped to drop some of the kids. That day the sun was so warm that I could sit on my long beach chair for the rest of the afternoon after all I deserve it. The fact is that lately, I’ve been working really hard mostly on Friday until 7 or 8 pm, to be more specific behind three computers doing everything that was necessary to keep the Company on profit especially to keep my boss happy. But right now I have to get up and go to my backyard to pick my lawn mower to cut the grass. Some of the teenagers that just got out of the school bus and walked moved way. Four other guys were still there now just chatting before they started to walk to their houses or wherever they were going. As I’m getting ready to go get my lawn mower, I can see this girl walking really fast the street. I kept my curiosity; I could look at her face looking at me as if she was saying. “Please don’t go away,” but when she got to a sewer, she stopped. I can see her leaning around it, looking inside it as she also kept looking at me. She leans herself down getting her face close to that sewer. I wasn’t too far from it when I had to see what she was looking for, but as got closer, I gazed hypnotically at a tall, slender brunette and by pulling her long dark hair now with a unique gold color glide behind her ears she returned a smile that made my heart bounce faster with excitement. Her eye was brown yet warm in appearance; I wonder if she was aware of how attractive she really was. “What’s the matter?” I asked. She was still trying to cover her face with her long fingernails, painted with dark light pink with dark black dots on it. She responded.

“My ring, I dropped my High School ring down there.” “How did that happen?” “I was holding on my hand for a second, but then accidentally it fell off,” “Felt off your hand?” I asked as she could see that I didn’t believe her one bit. “You know, I was looking at the shape of one of the rocks, but it felt off.” “It just felt off?” I asked as I am looking straight at her face. “Yes, it did fell off.” she rapidly answers. “Out of luck, bad enough, it felt off your hand, and worse yet it felt right down the sewer,” “Yes, at the sewer.” She says as she raised her voice a little bit. “You don’t say,” I say as a questioned comment. “Yes, really you don’t believe, do you?” “Oh no, don’t take wrong, that’s only because this not something that happens every day,” I say as I gave a little smile to bring herself at easy. Then there I am leaning on my knees looking down inside a stinking nasty sewer that’s right on the side of the street. Let me put it this way; I was looking down the sewer for a ring to do my good thing for the day. I knew if there was one where she had to be at least 16 to have a High School ring. In any case at that particular time all I was getting was a bad smell of wastewater from the bottom, but better than that I was enjoying more of the smell of a teenager leaning over me. Then after a few more minutes, I stood up, and I say. “Well, I think that one is gone.” “That’s ok she says, I didn’t like that one anyway, maybe I can even buy another one that I like from a friend of mine but then again the right way, she says. “I

mean maybe order another one from school.” I look straight at her face as she says. “Anyway, I didn’t mean to put you through all this trouble.” “That’s ok,” I say. Now we were both standing up in front of each other, she says. “I am sorry,” “Why?” I asked. “I just didn’t want to mess things up,” “Again that’s ok.” Now there I was standing in front of a beautiful teenager looking at her light brown eyes and also looking at the beauty glazing that already had bought to my attention of the dyed line of red shape on her hair from top to bottom. But she had brought me back to reality as she says. “Nathan my name is Rebeka, Rebeka McNeal.” I quickly look straight at her face and asked her. “How do you know my name?” “Oh! I am sorry, I should have called you Mr. Will, and I didn’t mean to be rude, it’s that one day I saw some mail that was dropped off on your parking lot, and I just put it back on your mailbox.” “Really,” I say looking at her sweet face. I wanted to tell her that she was a liar, liar pants on fire, but as she is looking at me, I just couldn’t let a word out still she insisted on saying. “Yes, that’s what happened,” “That’s ok, don’t worry about that, if the mailman drops any other mail at the parking lot, I will complain or remind him,” I say, as now her little cheeks are

turning a bit red, so I let a small smile to make her happy. I bet that on her mind she was thinking, that on how I am going to get lucky to be telling a lie after lie. Just by looking at her face, I could see how secure she felt telling me about her ring. Well with all that hunting for a ring that didn’t exist, but now it was time to go home and cut that grass. “Well, I guess then you can go home, I am sure that your parents are waiting for you,” “Yeah ok, I’ll see you later,” We started to walk as she’s walking very close to me, quiet but with her fresh smell right next to me. When I got in front of my house I went to get the lawn mower as she was still standing there, then she finally says, Goodbye.

Chapter 3

I t was now a little bit late then 8 pm when Paul Butler and Joel Coats arrived. You know when there’s always that quote that’s my best friend. Well, I never had one of them because for me I was friendly with everybody. I ire Paul with his talents playing the guitar and Joel on his base. Together they would make a great group if they could find a good drum player who would follow all of their rules, but that was always hard to do. In any case at this time now the sun had taken its last set- the birds had stopped with their singing-the night was now starting to show, as the light of the stars were now beginning to show its bright. It was now time for us to sit out in the backyard and enjoy the evening. But before we would come upon what was on our mind, we were going to sit there for a while and enjoy drinking some beers before going out with the women that we hang around. Usually, we all got together at my house; as the women are always the last ones to show up, but that was alright after all that was not an appointment that they had with their Doctor; I think. As I, Joel and Mike usually went out with them to this famous called Red Night Club that we often went on our weekend. The night is setting slowly. My two friends are out on the patio, as I am inside getting some snacks to bring it out, but before it was ready, Paul calls me. “Hey, Nathan there someone here looking for you,” Just for one second, It just went through my mind on who could that be at that time, after all, I hadn’t made any other plans with anybody else and as I walked out holding some onion dips with some potato chips that was ready to be served, what a surprise. “Rebeka, what are you doing here?” I ask. And as I could sense her soft perfume, and see her beautiful eyes starting close to me,” she says.

“I am sorry Nathan, I didn’t mean to bother you, it’s that my dog ran away from my house and I really can find him,” and with pause, have you seen him?” “No, I haven’t seen your dog; I didn’t know that you had one,” I said as I ire the way that she has her hair slide now been created, as a small 3-way chain. “Yes, he’s a black French puddle with a white dot.” Paul took a sip of his beer, and he says. “A black dog with a white dot,” Joel looks at him. “That way he looks like an eight ball,” Rebeka is looking at him, she says. “Maybe I call him that.” “You mean he doesn’t have a name yet?” Peter asks. “No, my mom just bought him yesterday.” Nathan was standing there just listening for that conversation when he says. “Then we can go to the opposite of it.” “What do you mean?” she asks. “You can call him Cue Ball.” Rebeka let go a very bright smile, as she says. “Yes, I am going to call him Cue Ball.” As Paul stood up, he says. “All right you guys, it looks like that we’re going to see for Cue Ball. It’s now almost 9 pm, and there we were now looking for a poodle baptized as Cue Ball.

More than then half hour now had gone by, but there was no trace of Cue Ball until we decide to give up looking for him. One thing that Rebeka had to do was to make sure that I was the one that she was right next to me throughout that whole cruise. The night now was dark enough to see him unless he starts to bark if he was looking for help. We could begin to screaming Cue Ball as loud as we could, but if that dog could hear it, he wouldn’t have the slightest idea that he baptized a while ago and now we were looking for him. We were kind quiet, as we are walking back home and once there, I say. “It’s getting sort of late now, do you want me to call your parents so they will come to pick you up?” “No, that’s all right they don’ know that I am out looking for him anyway.” “What, they don’t know that you are out looking for your dog?” I ask as I stare at her face. “No but that’s ok Nathan, they are not home anyway.” “What do you mean; they don’t know that you are out looking for your dog?” “They had to go out with some of their friends.” As I am doing that entire questioner to Rebeka, now Paul and Joel are looking at me making their judgment. “Anyway who else is now looking for that dog? Do you have any brothers or sisters?” “There’s nobody else in my house, or that house, or whatever I have to call it,” she says, but now with an irritated sound. “I am just asking you.” “If you must know, they want to leave me with a babysitter.” She says crunching her teeth. Can you believe that? She asks as the speed of her voice start to move a little

faster. “I had to argue to remind them that I am 14 years old, and I don’t need anybody to care of me, feed me with a bottle or change my diaper,” But then the right way it went right through my mind, as I looked at this teenager with only my eyes picturing her anger. “Calm down now”, I say as I rub my hand over her shoulder, “just go home now, relax, go to sleep, maybe you’ll feel better, after your parents get home and you can talk with them about it; it’s time for you to go home anyway,” your curfew? “Maybe Cue Ball is at home now looking for you,” and by the way where do you live?” “You know that yellow house at the end of the street?” she asks. “No, usually I drive to my house and drive on my way back on the reverse side.” And within all that chatting that I am having with her, Paul and Joel were looking at each other, as if they had a drama, suspense, a live show or whatever they wanted to call was, that accentually an entertainment show. “Ok then you just go home, and the guys and I will watch you until you get there, after all, it’s only five houses ahead.” “Do you want us to take you there?” Joel asks her. “No that’s all right; I’ll be ok, thank you.” “Yeah looking at me with a silly smile, now we know where you live,” Paul said as he’s looking at Joel and now both are looking at me. I wanted to tell them to screw themselves, but then I didn’t want to swear in front of a teenager girl. “Ok, then I’ll see you some other time,” she lifts a hand and says Goodnight.

Chapter 4

A s I looked at Sandy Lake face, I could compare the way that she looks and the way things were since the first time that I was married. She was a gorgeous woman with long blond hair. That was an adorable style every since she had changed from its original color. The only difference was that Kathy’s hair was utterly blond direct from its root, as Sandy root hair was black. The black shade was not the only thing that I could see; even when I am looking at her face as she opens her eyes and says. “Good morning handsome, how are you doing?” she asks. “I am doing great,” I say as gave her a quick kiss on her lips.” Sandy feels that kiss as an award; as she kisses me back twice. “I am about to go take a shower, are you coming with me?” “Yes Nathan, that’s going to be great, I am sure that anybody else that gets in there before us, especially the girls, you know they’ll rug that place until the next one start to bang on that door.” “Okay, then let’s get in there and let them worry about it,” I say, as I uncover myself, sit on the edge of the bed, then leaning forward with both hands now holding my head I stay there for a few seconds thinking before standing up. Sandy keeps looking at me and asks. “Are you all right?” “Yes I am doing fine,” I say, as I stand up, and walk straight to the bathroom. And again as I sit on the toilet, I am leaning forward and having my hands holding my head. The truth is that now I am thinking about Kathy. The way that she was when the first time that we woke up, and she used to say.

“Good morning my love, how are you?” Guess what? “I had a dream about you.” Guess what? “I dream that I love you,” “Guess what?” “Now I love you even more because you already made my first dream come through.” Kathy the women I love would then leave me speechless, that even if I already had a night dream, now I was having another one here right next to me, but now all I had to accept was (good morning handsome, how you are). Was I sitting on a toilet expecting too much? Was I now sitting in a bathroom being unfair for one that was there now right next to me, and knew about my life? I don’t know what to do with you, Sandy. I guess the only thing that I can do now is to stick with “Yes, I am doing fine.” A one-half hour had gone by until we came out of our shower. We didn’t have to worry about our guest they still in bed. It didn’t bother me, because it was 3 am since we came back home from our favorite Red Nigh Club. They wanted to drive home, but I insisted that we all came to sleep in my house because it was the closest one. So two years that had gone by since I lost the very first love of my life. So it’s been two years since I started to like Sandy hair. I guess that it wasn’t fair because the only thing I shared was for our sexual pleasure. She knew that, but she didn’t do it to me as a favor; maybe as a gift? I don’t know. But she knew that nothing else was going to happen, after all, we were just friends, some excellent friends. One day maybe I’ll invite her to move in with me, and I know for sure that will make her very happy. Two hours now had gone by, after Joel and Jessica were out of bed. Jessica Smith, one more beautiful woman in her twenties, with a short blond hair that was so thin that just a light has blown wind made it all flow way like a dander line. Her face was round. Her dark navy blue eyes made her cheeks even smaller then it looked. It made her thin and tall body even higher than a top

model walking on a long hallway way. Sue Wallace the women Paul Butler always ire her long black and wavy hair. She usually likes to spend 2 hours in front of a mirror to untangle it, not that she had to, or because of being a mess. It was also to make it perfect, to match her long and thin face with her nose that could smell a rose far, far away. She wasn’t slim; she wasn’t full, but for Paul, it was a perfect body that he loved to kiss every part of it from top to bottom. But that’s too far from the way that I like to watch her before, and the only way that she’s there now. Still, at one time or another, I can’t forget or wanted to think about on what I could do with her thinking on the way back then when we used to slow dance, and I feel every touch of her body. I never wanted to think about or get in between the part of the love of one of my friend. It was now late in the afternoon, after a long day of hanging out, watching TV, playing cards, eating pizza, drinking beer, soda or coffee. I had to start to deliver everyone to pick up their car to go home, to do their things, and say Good night.

Chapter 5

R ebeka, she was only a 14 years old girl, even when without knowing she fool me to be at least 16 every since I first laid my eyes on her. Nevertheless, was she still looking for a cue ball? Was she having trouble with a friend? If so, did she care about it? Why was she, the one having problems with her parents? Or was I, the one now having the problem thinking about her? What was I thinking? I don’t know, but right now the only thing that I have to reflect on, it’s to go to sleep and be ready to go to work tomorrow. It was late Monday when I got back home, and my boss must have one hell of the weekend. I say this because that day everybody was paying for their minimum mistake, even if wasn’t that important. I mean, one of the staff was 5 minutes late back from lunch, and he gave him hell. Believe or not, for another one telling that he or she was taking too long taking a dump. I kept him happy as much as could, at least I didn’t have to hear anything wrong about it. Ha, ha, ha, not even that I did an excellent job today. But I was finally happy when I left that lousy day from work, especially when I had to stop for some food, including some beer, but as soon as I drove into my parking lot, I didn’t have enough time to step out entirely out of the car as she asks me. “Where were you?” “Rebeka, what are you doing here, and why do you ask me such a question?”

She had a sort of the face of when a wife is pissed off with her husband. I still had one of my feet inside of the car and the other one on the ground, but she again asks. “Where were you?” I couldn’t believe it myself, as I question her. “What are you talking about?” “I ask you, where you were,” she repeated. “What are you, my mother?” I ask her, now irritated. “No, I just ask you a simple question, is that too hard to answer,” “First where I was is none of your business, second why the hell are asking me such a question, and third get out of my way, so I can get off my car,” I say as I pushed the door out off her way. Then she moves away and begins to cry, saying. “I am sorry Nathan, and I didn’t mean to be so rude, is that I’ve been waiting for you all this afternoon and I just got furious.” “Rebeka, you should never do this again.” “I am sorry, really I am sorry.” “Stop crying, and saying that you are sorry,” and after she wipes her tears, I say, “you seen me, so now go home,” “Nathan, all I wanted to do was to see you, I mean look at you,” “Okay now you did, so now you can go home.” “But Nathan,” she says again. “Rebeka, you are not listening to me,”

“I just wanted to say hi.” “Hi Rebeka, bye Rebeka,” “Why are you so mad with me?” she asks. On my mind, I wanted to ask her, what the hell is wrong with you, but I say. “No, I am not mad with you.” “Are you sure?” “Yes I am sure, now go home,” I affirmed She kept looking at me then, she asks. “Can I just help you bring your groceries inside?” “No, go home.” “Please, Nathan, please,” I better get this kid out of here, I thought. I open the back door of the car, picked a bag of groceries and handed to her, as that made her very happy. I picked up the other three bags with my left and with my other hand a 24 pack of beers. Rebeka went ahead and stood at the front door. I had the house key and the grocery bags in my hand she grabs it. “Here I’ll open for you,” she says. Then she walks in, as if she was walking into a dream house holding a bag full of groceries, and looking all over that place. “Oh my God your house is beautiful. I love it! I have walked by and seen from the outside so many times. The inside is amazing. “Okay now, then just put that bag on the table,” I say looking straight at her face as if she was just a baby girl. Mind you, that was right in front of me no further than a foot. She puts the bag down on the edge of the table, and walks across it, and pulls the curtain open. That’s a long slighting glass door that leads to the deck. She looks out and up to the sky, and she says.

“Look, Nathan, it so beautiful out there.” “Yes it does, but now it’s time for you to go home okay.” “Okay, I am going now,” she says still looking all over the place. I walked to the front door as it was still open; I put my arm across her shoulder and let her to the front door. She was always looking at it and also looking at me until we walked outside. I walked back in. She was still looking at me until I was out of her site. I had to go to the bathroom anyway. I was there for a few minutes, and when I came back, she was gone way. It’s late Tuesday night with another long day where I had hard with my boss. Even though I am the third leader of the crew of the International Architect Constructional industry, most of the time when some office documents go wrong, it’s up to me to solve where things got mess up and then fix it. Of course most of the time it’s not our fault, but I have to explain to him where things got mess up. Usually are the top people, but when I can find clear and for sure that thing has been fixed, that’s good enough to make my boss happy. He will give that compliment; “Good job Nathan.” What else can I say other than thank you, it’s a pleasure. But that’s all he wants to hear. In the meantime, I take care of my crew. Therefore I compliment them. I give then raises as needed, take them out for dinner, drinks and always do things together to keep them happy. Still that day I hadn’t found out yet who had messed it up. But regardless, that at the end of that day, when I arrived home, it’s almost 9 pm, and I was exhausted and ready to go to bed. I opened the door of my car, and I heard someone say. “Hi Nathan,” and that was Rebeka. “What are you doing here?” I ask, as I got out and slammed the door. “I’ve just been waiting for you,” She says, but this time slow and calm. “Rebeka, please don’t you start with me again today,” I say as I started to walk to the door, but she got in front of me speaking. “Please, I’m begging you, to listen to me just for one minute.”

“No, I spoke this time a little bit louder.” “Please,” she repeated “What,” I asked “Nathan, I love you,” she says “Rebeka please don’t you start that with me now,” I say as moved out of her way from the door and put the key on the key lock. And before I turned to open, she put her hand on top of me, and say. “Nathan, I love you.” “Now, go home.” “Yes I am really in love with you, I’ve you love with you for a long, long time, ever since that first time I saw you.” “No, you don’t love me; you just like me as I like you, as a friend,” I say as I try to open the door, but she held tight on my hand forcing me not to move it. I mean I could, but I It would hurt her. “Didn’t you hear me?” I ask. “Yes, I heard you.” “Don’t you believe me?” “Yes, as much as I believe that you lost or had a High School ring, or had that dog that you lost; which by the way did you find him back?” “No god dam, the only thing here is that I want you, is that I can’t live without you.” She says now screaming. “See now you’re taken God’s name in vain, so just go home, and he’ll forgive you.” “Please Nathan believes, I am in love with you.” “Rebeka I am too mature and older for you, so go home.”

“Age doesn’t matter when one falls in love, why don’t you believe me?” “Came on now, it’s late, and I will even walk you home today, I want to meet to your parents anyway.” “No,” she says as she let her hand go off from the top my, that I must say that it was soft as a sponge. “My parents don’t love and, they don’t care about me.” “But I won’t talk with them anyway.” “No,” she says as she starts to soft cry. As of now can see those been tears of real and sorry. Then she starts to the walkway as I say good night, but she stops for a second, turns her face back to me and says, “Goodbye, Nathan,” Goodbye.

Chapter 6

I t was Friday now, as the whole week went by. Was I surprise; I don’t know if I should call it a surprise or maybe disappointed, worry, missing, but I didn’t see Rebeka. Why was that happening to me now?” Why was I worried?” I kept asking myself. I guess that it would prove to me, that I was a good father or would be a good father. It was only for a few minutes, but I was a father. That whole week for me was a tough one. It was bad enough since I realize that I called both of my perfect friends. Paul and Joel the two guys that I hang around with most of the time. But after I talked with them, I also became conscious, that I was never a person that called anybody as my best friend. But now here I am, calling my friend just to say hello like I am one of the girls that have just come with some gossip to share. I guess the only scandal that I have is to keep on to myself, that now I am feeling loneliness, and this loneliness is here only because Rebeka, is not. Still, then it was too late to be thinking about her anyway. Now it’s time for me to be getting ready as the guys are going to pick me up. They already had made plans, with Sue, Sandy, and Jessica to meet us at the entrance of the Red Night Club. That’s usually the way that we did, and at the end of the night, we would come back home to my house. That was the easiest way to do those gets together. Usually, we are the regular guys that don’t like to be waiting when they say that they will be ready in 10 minutes, but that 10 minutes was 1 hour. In any case, after we were all together, for me, it was also a bad one, or I don’t know if I could call a good one. Even been with Sandy, I couldn’t get Rebeka out of my mind. Dancing with

Sandy, but thinking about Rebeka. Slowing dance with Sandy and wondering on what it would it be like to have Rebeka soft face right next to mine. Thinking on what would be like to be felling her long silky hair and her sweet, gentle baby face. Feel to kiss her small lips. Other than a whiff of perfume, fell that aroma of her face leaning over me. That’s all I had on my mind, it was my sweet teen Rebeka. I thought on how soft I would have to be to be kissing her over and over. I guess that at that time, that was the only thing that I could do. I could desire, nobody could use that against me, beside that nobody will know about it. Worse comes to worst I am the only one that can call me as a child ab, but then who am I to judge myself. I blame this on her, after all, she was the one that screws up my head telling that she has fallen in love with me ever since the first time she saw me. Sandy loves to slow dance with me however that night was happening to many times. All right I agree I can blame this one on her because she’s the one that kept taking (dragging me) to dance with her telling me that was one her favorites song. Ok, Sandy, I can blame this one on you because you are the one that keeps bringing back here to be thinking about Rebeka. Regularly I don’t do it, but at that night since I was not driving, I was drinking enough to stop slow dancing and doing too much thinking, and as the night at the club was finally over we had to stop to eat. I really need to cover all that hard liquor alcohol that I had that night, and then when the night was over there, we decide, well Sandy decides that she was going to take me back home. I mean maybe I have been unfair for her after all the only thing that she said to was, “Nathan, would you like me to take you back home?” “Ok Sandy Thank you, and that was it. Maybe Sue and Jessica already had made their plans to take care of Paul and Joel for the rest of the night. I don’t know, but it just so happens that Sandy was going to spend Saturday with me. She woke me up early when it was around 11 o’clock with that “good morning handsome.” I don’t know, maybe she wanted to say something more romantic. But that was it. It was close to noon time when I got out of bed. Sandy already had gone to DD to get some coffee, and that’s we did until the end of the day.

It was 7 pm when the other guys came back to pay us a visit. Jessica made sure that she bought Sandy some clean close because they were spending the night at my house. For me, that was a good idea to start with, because I had no plans to go out that night. So we did one of our regular things that were to drink beer or coffee, eat pizza, chat, watch T.V and just relax for the rest of the day without lifting a finger, still in the meantime, even not wanted to I just couldn’t get Rebeka out of my mind. Every now and then I thought about Kathy. But Kathy left my life forever. But now Rebeka, where are you? All I said was a good night, but you said Goodbye.

Chapter 7

A fter I already had wasted myself at the nightclub, I spent the whole weekend lost. It was now time for me to get back to work, behind a computer, walking around my crew office and hears from my boss every now and then. I had done a great week since my work crew resolved last week. My boss was happier as even took my whole team and me out on a two hours lunch on Friday. Even letting everybody getting to leave a 5 pm, and that was great that way getting home earlier. Once at home I had a chance to do a few things that I kept telling myself that I was going to do today and kept putting it off and as the whole week went by nothing was done. The only thing that I had left to do now was to take some cloth to the cleaner and a lot of clothing out for the Salvation Army. I had all my close set up for the cleaner. I got the cloth for the Salvation Army. I am checking the pocket of one of the pants when all of a sudden a picture of my lovely wife felt on the floor. For some reason, I never why, and when I had put that picture in there, as I picked it up I had that instant feeling of that intuition that she was giving some kind of a message, and the only thing that came directly through my mind was to say. “Yes my love, please relieve for my freedom. Why was the one asking Kathy Will to set me free? Or was the one that shouldn’t be asking her to give that freedom? Was I just been unfair? Or was I just trying to get away with murder? Then why was that sudden impact that Kathy was the one that was asking me for that freedom? Yes, that was it, after all, she and our son was the one that was gone and all I had

left from them was only the sorrow on my heart. “Yes my lost ones, I am going to let you go,” and thinking that way I got that picture and also went to my bedroom picked up the other film from the desk next to my bed and buried on my backyard. Goodbye, my lovely wife and my beautiful son, I am here with you guys, but I have to say, Goodbye.

Chapter 8

W as I been fair or was I just been getting away with it? It really doesn’t matter for whatever reason, after all, I felt released from that last smell of Kathy’s hair was now gone with it. After I took care of all those errands, I had a good meal and sit in front of my yard on my long beach chair. The sun was out on its 70 degrees with a light wind flowing by. The grass in my yard was really tall. I thought about cutting it, but I knew that I had to go get some gas for that lawnmower. And also thought about cleaning the house, but after going through all that whole emotion first thing in the morning, I thought the best thing to do was just to stay lying under the sun and hoping that Rebeka would walk by. Maybe Rebeka would be looking for another ring or another bracelet that she would have lost on the street, or anything, as long as I could see her again, looking for some helps anything, but my sweet Rebeka didn’t show up. But as time went by, I am walking with Rebeka on the clouds that have now turn back to warm water, but all of sudden that water turns to ice and I felt down. Screaming as I am falling down from way up from the sky I wake up when someone is banging on my chair saying, “Hey you lazy man, wake up.” “Rebeka,” I say. “What,” I open and scratch my eyes. But that’s Sandy there, standing and looking down at me. “What?” she asks, now with a strange look on her face. “What,” I repeated.

“What did you say?” Sandy asks looking a bit confused. And thinking fast I say. “I am back.” “Where were you, my friend?” “I am sorry Sandy I was lost.” “Well, you are out here on your front yard getting a suntan,” she says. “Yes, I was lost, I guess I am still lost,” I say as I raised the back of the chair and gave a kiss on her cheeks. “I been calling for the past 2 hours, and you were not answering, I got a bit worried, so thought I stop by to see how you were doing.” On my mind, “What you thought I ran away from you girl? But I say.” “No, I am doing fine, what’s going on?” “Its kind nice out, I thought we could go out for some ice cream.” “Oh that’s nice, I guess I relax enough here, and then with a pause, yes let’s go.” “Are you sure,” Sandy says as she’s looking straight into my eyes. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Oh no, you just woke and now you have a suntan, maybe I rub some suntan on you.” “You just invited me for some ice cream, and now you changed your mind?” Sandy is looking at me as if she wants to tell me, “Came on now Nathan why don’t really wake up and smell the coffee, can’t you see that I already missed you from last night?” But she says.

“Ok then, just let me rub some lotion on you then we will go for some ice cream. Sandy went to her car and came out with some suntan and starts to spread over my chest and slightly on my face. Sandy was having a good time as if we were at the beach. Sandy is using her soft hands on me and enjoying as I closed my eyes and enjoyed it as well. I could feel her breath and the way that she squeezes my cheeks. I was enjoying myself until my stupid mind had me wonder if Rebeka knew how to rub a beach lotion and let go a silly smile. “You are having a good time with this, aren’t you?” Sandy asks me, and as I open my eyes, and put some more lotion on my neck I got cold it brought me back to Sandy.” “Yes I am having a good time,” I say. “Are you gone be ready for some ice cream after this?” “Yes,” Sandy says as she leans over me and softly kisses me this time on my lips. I guess that ice cream now melted down because soon we went inside and had sex. The way that Sandy was showing her affection wasn’t only, but that was the ion of making love.” I hated myself not to answer her the same way because I am with Sandy and on Fantasy Island with Rebeka. Been honest at that time I wasn’t thinking about sex with her…Or shame on me, yes I was. “Godden Rebeka, where are you?” I hated myself not to be able to forget her, now lust about her even if I didn’t want to. I hated myself to make Sandy feel so loved and at the same time so protect by me, letting Sandy enjoy herself as longs as she wanted to until she was exalted. It’s your fault Sandy, I don’t know how long you were waiting to find about me. After a while, I unroll myself from her arms, as I could see how exhausted Sandy was to fall asleep. I watch her for a couple minute as I quickly got out of bed. I went to the kitchen, went out to the deck and 1 hour later after I am done

with the second beer I can hear the shower water came down. Sandy still with her long blond hair wet walk over to me and say. “Nathan, what’s wrong with you, why you left me there alone?” “Ha, ha, ha, I laugh looking at her face as if she was a woman that just had committed a sin. “That’s not funny.” She says. “What’s the matter?” I ask still smiling at her face. “Oh, don’t give any of that, why did you leave there?” Sandy asks me as she is sort of feeling guilty. “Oh, just because you looked really serene, lay there like a baby, that it’s sucking his little finger. “Why don’t you stop, been funny.” She says. “Here just sit here next to me, you look great,” I say as I pulled a chair, open a beer and put in front of her. “I am going to order a pizza for us, what do you think?” “I don’t know she answered with a save sound voice.” “Yes, a pizza will be good for us, especially for you,” I say as I moved some of the hair that was covering her eyes. “What do you mean by that?” she asks. “I mean, just to get some of those energies back,” ha, ha, ha. “I hate you,” she says as she kisses me.” And I say. “Then pizza it is, we will save that ice cream for another day,” “what do you think?” “Is that a good idea?” “Okay,” Sandy says she took a sip of the beer.

Then we drank, we ate, and we spent the rest of the day together, and we say Goodnight.

Chapter 9

W e had sex, we ate, we drank, and we talked. That’s we did. We talked about that night at the Red Night Club. We talk about the dance, and I ultimately feel that wasn’t the only thing that she likes to talk about. I knew Sandy for a long time now, and I also knew that she was already feeling sorry for me after Kathy died. Sandy and I were the ones that would end up together at the nightclub, as Paul would go out with Sue and Joel with Jessica, and that’s the way, but after a while, there were no other plans because that’s the way that we felt with each other. One of the other guys would not hit on the other women of their own friend. We could, but that we wouldn’t. What if that was a success, then what? That would be another headache or whatever could turn out to be. All in all, we just had to let nature take its own away. However Sandy end up been on my hand as a kickback, now the only one thing that I can think about was Rebeka. “Why, why, you Rebecca, why couldn’t get her out of my mind?” It’s the beginning of June now. There was no more school bus coming. There were the Graduations parties, but there was no Rebeka. Maybe she already had gone on vacation. I thought to keep going on with my life and not to worry about her. But I thought that perhaps I will see her in September when school was going to start again. That day was the only time that I had free to cut my grass, but the weather that day was way past the 80’s when I thought the best thing to do then was to wash my car instead. I am doing and really fleshing up myself when all of sudden a big smile came out of on my face when I finally see her waking up the street. There she was, walking towards me. She’s looking so lovely. I had never seen her dressed on a shirt, a t-shirt, and sandals. When she finally got in front of my house, I ask her.

“Rebeka, how are you?” “I am ok,” she says but not with a big smile as if she hadn’t missed me as well. “I haven’t seen you for a long time, so what have you been up too?” She’s looking at me as if I am a stranger person. “Nothing,” she says as she just still standing there in front of the parking lot or near me for that matter. “Came here, you are seen to be really angry with me,” “Are you all right?” I ask her as I wash the soap from my hands and turn the water off from the hose. She walks closer to me. I wanted to keep holding that hose and clean her as if I am washing a baby instead of washing my car. “What did you expect to hear from me?” she asks “What’s going on with you, it’s just that I missed you, I mean I haven’t seen you for so long,” I say as I get closer to her as I can. “I know,” she says “What is this all about?” I ask as I look at her like, nothing had happened. “Why are you saying that doesn’t ignore me, and don’t make fun of me,” she says with a serious face I have never seen her. “No, I am not making fun of you; you know I never expected to hear that from you.” “Is that because I am only 15 and love you, and only going to be a soft more when school starts again?” No Rebeka, it’s because I’m 26, and you are only 15, and if I am caught been with you other than just your friend, they will put me in the big Pen with this dude named Baba, that has a 15 inches salami that I am gone have loved it and to be his boy toy without saying the word boo. “What are you talking about,” she asks me now wholly confuse.

“Find out, and then we talk about it,” I say, That was not my intentions, but that comment came on a bit too loud, that was enough to make her tears to come down. “No, Rebeka please don’t cry, I pause, what I am saying is that I can be one of your best friend, the best friend that you can ever have, I really don’t know what else to do.” “Nathan, why can’t you love me?” “Rebeka, please, don’t do this to me.” “And if you really love, the way you say you do, that’s not fair to me.” “Yes it is,” she screams, all I want is you next to me, every single second of my life, all I can do is to think about you.” “I thought about you too, but the thing is that I was worried about you, what you have now are that puppy love and that will go away.” “No Nathan, please don’t leave alone, please don’t break my heart again.” “You know, I never broke your heart, what you are doing is just…” I had no other word to add to go with that. “Ok Nathan, then I have to say goodbye to you forever.” “Yes then just go away like you did the last time,” I spoke “Goodbye, Rebeka.” I want to go after her, holder and never let her go, but I couldn’t, and I screamed. “Yes Rebeka, just go away and see if I care, Goodbye Rebeka, Goodbye.”

Chapter 10

I t took me day after day that I thought about her. It took me an hour after hour that I felt when I was going to see her again. Maybe it was because I was going to be a perfect father. Perhaps because Kathy would wonder why our son was too late to get home from school or got in an accident, or in trouble with some other kids. Came on now Nathan, I say to myself, came back to reality, and accept the fact that you just don’t want to miss her. She’s not just a beautiful girl that you like to talk with. Just come back to your side, and let her think that she’s the one that doesn’t want to talk to you. She’s the one that said that her parents don’t like her. But is that it? What do I know? I don’t even know who they are. She says, she lives in that last house at the end of the street, but the only thing that I have seen there every now and then is an old car. But now I have a good reason to walk by there, maybe I can just look at Rebeka, that beautiful child. There are only 5 houses that have a long yard distance, and now is the time to meet at least one of them. With those thoughts on my mind, two weeks had gone by since Rebeka left me. Oh my God, what am I saying, “when she left.” Yes, we’re going out doing our things. Like have to go to work, having a cookout on when she left, I had no reason to walk to her house. Time went by as me and my backyard, going to the nightclubs and having a couple drinks with the snacks, having lunch, etc. At times when we were together having fun, my thoughts would be completely out until of one of the guys would snap a finger to bring me back and ask me “Hey dude what’s going on with you, wake up?”. My answer usually would be, “Oh no, I was just thinking about yesterday and tomorrow. Still, Sandy, most of the time would look at my face as if she was saying that I am lying, but I didn’t care. I also could see on her face that she knew that it wasn’t about yesterday and tomorrow. To me, I thought that always thinking about her. Kathy didn’t know that it would be a good idea to make her believe that I was thinking about them. But the only thing and the only one that I had on my mind was Rebeka.

Rebeka, Rebeka, where are you? Are you camping? Are you on a long summer vacation? Or are you just inside your room with your parents, on the day in and out, like you said they usually are? Well, Rebeka guesses what, I am going to find out because I am going to pay a visit to meet your parents or more critical to see if you are doing ok from the last time I saw you. There was some light rain that came down for the past 2 days, but this Saturday temperature now was going to be on its 80’s. I walk up the street, and as I am right in front of her house there was a bunch of newspaper still behind that old car park, and that was a ticket for me to the front door as I rang the bell. After I am waiting for at least five minutes and holding 10 packs of newspaper packed on wet plastic bags, someone answers. This old man opens the door as he looks like he was up on his 80’s. “Good morning sir, how are you,” I say. “Very well, young man, how are you.” “Very well sir, thank you.” “What can I do for you young man,” I like the way that he calls me young man, as well felt really comfortable showing all the respect that I want to present to him. I am holding all that pack of newspaper ads, I say. “Mr. McNeil sir, I am afraid that the newspaper man deliver has been throwing all your newspaper behind your car.” The young man I am afraid that you’ve got the wrong address for this newspaper, I am not Mr. McNeil.

“Oh I am sorry sir; I just made the assumption, that you would be Rebeka grandparents, a 15-year-old girl that says she lives here with her parents.” “No young man, only me and my wife live here.” “Oh, I am sorry sir, this house that she says that she lives on.” “Don’t be sorry young man.” He says as he let go a laugh. “Oh no sir I didn’t like me to disturb you about that, but I guess I made it worth to picked up your newspaper, that was left behind your car,” I say as I still hold it, yet all soggy. “These are also not my newspaper young man,” he says as again he smiles. “Oh, that too ha,” I say now with my laughing. “I know, and you didn’t found Mr. and Ms. McNeil.” I wish I could tell him that I could care less about that I never meet them, that at that point and time the only thing that I want to hear or see Rebeka, but I say. “Ok sir I will not bother you anymore, the thing is that I was worry was only about their daughter. “Their daughter?” he asked. “Yes, sometimes I see her kind late and sort wonder about her.” “Very well young man, but this day it seems that people are a little free them they used to be.” “Ok, sir again sorry to disturb you.” “That’s ok young man, just feel free to stop on a fine day like this, and I will invite you to come in so we can have some tea and talk about life.” “Thank you, sir; it will be a pleasure to do that with you and your wife.” “Very well young man we will do that then.” “Ok, sir thanks you, again.”

“But I am afraid that you gone have to take care these newspaper ads because they are delivering at the wrong address.” “Yes, sir I’ll do that.” “Very well young man,” he says as he taps on my shoulder. I walked away holding a bunch of newspaper ready to be delivered to the dump because now the only news that I have wasn’t the place where Rebeka live.” Maybe I wanted to teach her a lesson so she would stop being a liar. First, she lies about her school, second about her dog and third now where she lives, and now she tells me, that she is in love with me. Ah Rebeka, why are you doing this to me, and why did you again say, Goodbye.

Chapter 11

I t was late in the afternoon when I finally walk back to the house to answer the phone. That’s Paul. “How you doing Nathan, what’re you up to? “No much, I’ve just been busy all day around the house.” “Yeah, I called you a couple times, but you I couldn’t reach you, so figure you were doing your thing,” I found very strange about Paul himself, talking like that as I asked. “So, what’s on your mind?” “Are you busy tonight? “Not really,” “Do you want to get together with me, Joel, and the girls later on?” “Sure, you know I got no problem with that,” he also asks, “Why are you asking me?” “Oh, no this is only because Jessica asked me to ask you about this, as a matter of fact, you know how I fell about these calling, besides that, you know that your place is big enough for all of us.” I held for a few seconds, and then I said. “Yes I’ll be ok, I will be here.” “But then she asks.

“Are you feeling all right?” “Yes, I am feeling ok, it’s just that I had a long day, just let Jessica know that I am doing all right, and have them ready. I was all right, but the sound of my voice was like I’ve just come out of a funeral or I was inside of the church talking with the person next to me. “All right, then we’ll see you later,” he says, then hang up. After that, I thought. Ah shit, I shouldn’t be talking about like those girls, as I was wondering myself on what Paul was up to. Usually, our conversion is” What’s up? Are you ready? Yes, I am; I will see you later. End of story. Later when we got together we were sitting out on the patio, but the weather was kind hot, so we went in under the air conditioner. Inside was very cool as well the way were chatting, sipping on those drinks and waiting for those pizzas that I ordered. When the pizza was delivered, and we were sitting around eating it, Jessica grabs a slice as she says. “So are you ready to talk about that vacation.” “Vacation,” I state. “Yes Nathan,” she says as she takes a bite on her pizza and hesitates to eat, as she says. “Ouch, this is hot as the weather is going to be when we hit that Country and that Ocean,” and as she pauses, I hope that sea water is not this hot, because I really don’t want to be boiled in it.” “Don’t worry sweetheart,” Joel said as he licks some of the tomato sauce from her pizza that was still on her lips, as on she response touching him right back.

“All right you two, enough of this,” Sue says. Paul then slabs some tomato sauce on her lips, and they both start as a big tomato sauce sucking each other. Sandy and I were looking at them like they were two kids having a tomato sauce party. Sandy looked at me and waved her head from side to side she was saying. “These two are having a tomato right now.” To me, it looked like she wanted to slob tomato sauce all over me, and then licks me from top to bottom, but at that very second I was wiping my lips with a napkin and taking a sip on my soda. Then I ask. “What vacation that you guys talking all about?” “What do you mean?” Paul asks as they are all looking at me. “You know the one we planned and talked about 3 months ago.” “That we talked about 3 months ago? Are you guys out of your mind? “Don’t tell me that you forgot all about that,” he says as he’s looking at everybody else. “Sorry you guys, but that one went right through my head.” “Nathan, how can you forget that we planned to go to Mexico, for the first, second, and the last week of July,” he says.” “Yes Nathan we did our plans,” Joel says really quickly. “The way that everybody is thinking, it looks like that we just talked about this 3 days ago,” “No 3 months ago, we promised each other that no matter what, we would be ready.”

“Oh man this is crazy, you guys are really out of your mind.” “You are the one that should have kept on your mind, on what you plan to do with your friends and keep your word with. “But, this time Jessica is talking really aggravated as if she was waiting for that chance. “Oh, you know what, I say But before I said anything else, Sue says. All right you guys, we have to calm down and straight these plans. By now the rest of all that pizza is all cold. “Yeah what are the plans? I ask. “Nathan, I guess we were supposed to go this coming Tuesday, maybe we can make another plan to extend for a day or two, I don’t know.” “What is this maybe quit my job, and go on vacation?” but then right away I say. “I am sorry Sue I know what you mean this well, but I can’t.” “Call into sick” Jessica says, but this time with a stupid smile on her face. “Oh, cut the shit,” I say to her now with a sad look. “Sorry I am just kidding.” “What can you came out with,” Sue now asks me. I am sorry, but this time you guys are going to go on a vacation to Mexico, without me. You know I just can’t pop and go.” “I am serious now, Jessica says, can’t you just maybe take a week off, go with us and then come back?” “No, Nathan,” says, this time giving her a quick smile, You guys just go without me and have a really good time, just make sure that when you came back to bring me a couple bottles of tequila with a hot Mexican women to tell me “ANDALE, ANDALE, VAMO-NOS, AMIGO. I don’t know even though, that was just a joke, Sandy who had been entirely silent throughout that whole

conversation looked at me as if she was dropped for another woman. But right then and there, I really didn’t care because I only had lost Rebeka and now a vacation to Mexico. “Are you sure you are not going to be mad,” Jessica asks me. “Yes, I am sure; you guys just go and have a perfect time.” And as finished to say that, Sandy says,” “Yes, you guys go and have a good time.” “What are you talking about?” Sue asks her. “I’ve changed my mind,” she says as she is looking at me. “Why,” she asks her. “What are you going to be doing around here now Jessica raises her tone now really furious? “What do you want me to do, just to tag along with you guys as a little tail? Rent a single hotel? Find this Mexican guy, that maybe could be this future muchacho, like they have on the magazine, or perhaps he looks like one of them and rape me or kill me or what not; no I am not going, and that’s my final decision.” And as she looking at all of us and “and none of you try to change my mind, because that is not going to happen, end of story.” then she was quiet. And so was everybody else. Until a few seconds later Sue asks. “So what are you going to do?” “I don’t know, maybe I will see my sister in Alabama.” “Well then I guess our problems are all solved, Nathan says. “The two lovely couple will go to Mexico, Sandy maybe will go to Alabama,

and for sure I will go back to work on Monday; is everybody happy now?” We all looked at each other. “Came on now you guys, let’s make salute,” Peter says as he picks up a soda that now is warm, spread the cups, fill them up, keeps looking at everybody, that then pick it up to drink it saying, “For everybody to have a good time.” “Know that all of us are still not all completely happy, but… “Sue just goes and has a perfect time,” Sandy says. Paul, Joel, Sue, and Jessica are having a perfect time and showing them happiness with their kissing. Somehow I had a straight smile on Sandy face as I gave her a rug and a quick kiss on her lips. “Here we go, Sandy, if you do or not go to Alabama, I am sure that we will have a good time here while those guys are having a good time.” By doing that Sandy let go a big bright smile that made that pizza get real hot in no time. Everybody else looks at us like they were saying that this problem has now been solved and as the rest of that night went on, well for couple more hours. We talked about going out, but to me, that was out of the question. I was saving with Sandy cause as an excuse for regular women when they want to have sex. “Ah, after that drinking, that pizza, and that whole talking tonight, I am with these headaches, so you guys don’t worry about me and go have a good time.” “No, I a fine staying home and relax the rest of the night,” Oh said as I looked at her. You guys go on and start now your vacation, Sandy, and I will stay here and watch some TV. “All right sometime we will see you tomorrow.” “Ok I guess, you plan for me to babysit over Sandy tonight, but tonight that’s ok with me.

We were together, but there was no ion, there was only ice cream on that late Sunday until we went to bed and say. Good night.

Chapter 12

I ts 6 am when the alarm clock goes on and as me to shoot it off If I ran over Sandy. For one reason or another, I don’t that she was going to be there next to me on a Monday morning. Late that night when we went to bed we were both tired. I wasn’t drained on my body as much as I was on my mind, because Sandy had changed her because of me. Usually, that’s not the way that I do, but on that particular night, I thought that would clear some of my thoughts if I turn a small TV that I have on my room. Even when we woke up, she was in an excellent mood. Early in the morning, my alarm goes on as we both woke up. “Good morning, how are you doing handsome? Are you a little more relaxed? She asks me as she rubbed her hand over my face to move my hair to the back. “Good Sandy,” “What about you?” “Great,” she says with a big smile. “Well for me it’s time to go to work; I know this it’s going to be a long week.” I remind her. She kept looking at me, but then caresses my face and says. “Don’t worry the week will go by fast,” then she gets up and go to the bathroom for three minutes and came out as I walked in without any words. Usually, I don’t do that, but at that particular day, when I went to the bathroom I and close the door to do my regular thing to get ready in the morning to go work. A half hour had gone when he walks back to the kitchen, as I say.

“Well now, what have you been doing here,” I ask her as I lay my suit on the chair. “I just got us some early breakfast, I don’t know exactly what you do when you go to work in the morning, so I got you a coffee, a bread with bacon sausage and eggs, and some donates, I know that you like a regular coffee with light sugar, because that’s exactly how I like mine, so I just picked one.” As we are both starts sipping on our coffee, she begins to eat a donut as I am enjoying a breakfast, that’s something that I haven’t done in the morning for a long time now, and minutes later. “Well Sandy, you’ve done an excellent job this morning, but now you gone have to spend the day without me.” “Don’t worry I’ll find something to do, I am sure the day will go by fast,” she says with a bright smile. “We will find something to do tonight.” “Oh, Nathan, don’t you think or worry about me.” “I don’t know about that,” I say as I look at her face with a silly smile. “Stop looking at me like that.” “Like what?” I ask her as I am still looking at her face with that silly smile. “Stop looking at me like that,” I smiled letting out a small sound. “I am going home, clean myself up, and call my sister to see what she been up to.” “Ok, I will talk with you later, and you have a good day,” I say as I give her a kiss. Late in the afternoon I called her and ask. “Hey, what’s up, did you call your sister?”

“Oh hi Nathan, how are you?’ she asks before she said anything else. “I am alright, and how is your sister doing?” “She’s all right, but she’s out of town on her vacation, that means I am going to hang around here for a while,” Sandy says now sounding sad. “Oh, that’s good.” “What do you mean that’s good?” “That’s because that way we can spend the whole weekend together, that makes me very happy.” “I am pleased too because it took me a couple hours to convince my boss to give me those days.” Nathan says letting out a sweet smile. “Thank you I was going to hate to being all alone,” she says. “All right, we are going to have a perfect time. That way the other guys can enjoy their vacation for the next 3 weeks, and we will enjoy ours is for the next 5 days.” “Oh, I can’t believe it that you are making me the happiest friend ever.” “Ok, then will see you on Tuesday night, and by the way dress formal, because I am going to take you to an opera and we have a reservation at the Palace restaurant “Nathan, are you serious? Eating at the Palace restaurant?” Sue has been trying to make an appointment at that restaurant and has been a pain in the ass to get in there as is that was to get into the white house, I am impressed.” “Yeah, my boss helped me up out with this one.” “Oh Nathan I am pleased, to be honest with you, I would be ready to go McDonald and a movie, you know.”

I interrupted her. “Sandy, just be ready Tuesday night.” But this time she says “I love you.” I love you, what did she mean by that? Did she mean it just because we’re going to have that night together? She better have it intended that way, and not for anything else, because I can’t deal with another I love you. It’s Tuesday night as I knock on Sandy apartment door. “Who is it?” “It’s your King to pick up his Queen,” I say as I held up 1 dozen red roses and 2 tickets for the show at the Opera,” and as she opens the door with a beautiful smile, she couldn’t hold of her soft tears from come on down mes her eyes make up. She looks gorgeous with her long and red dress. She was coming wearing her black high heel shoes to match her scarf, that was now rolled around her neck and landing on her arms. I also now could match her eyes lashes with the dark root of her long blond hair. Within all, she looked astonishing beautiful. I gave her the roses as I gave her my hand and ask, “Came on now, just give me a beautiful smile and save those tears for that opera,” and without saying any other word, she just embraces me firm tight her breast against me. “Nathan stops that, and let me catch my breath.” I release her hand and softly kiss her lips. “Ok then, why don’t you go do what the regular women do on their face, and I will wait for you.” She went to her room to clean up. I tempt for a second to go in to watch her, only for the fact that I never been inside at that particular room, I thought that at the

time it would be better to save the best for last. What was I thinking about? What was that I was getting myself into? Sandy was a friend; she wasn’t the one that I haven’t seen for the first time or anyone that had that particular thought or feels about. But that was a problem, that I was looking especially on me, but was I going to do now just to break that party day, or that opera plan and brake a date I better not. After all, that way what I was feeling now, but that wasn’t any way close for the way that I felt about Kathy or Rebeka at that point and time. Minutes later Sandy is back. She’s cleanup, dressed up, and ready for our big night out. As we came out, Sandy says. “I know we are going together, but do you want me to take my car that way I can drop you off,” and with a pause, “I mean don’t take me wrong, is the only thing the last The time that we were together; well the truth is that I didn’t get put my panties back on. “Sandy shame on you, he says laughing. “Don’t be gross,” only you guy use your under ware two times at the same time. I know, I am just joking with you.” “But I need to take my cloth; I have it ready already anyway.” “Don’t worry about it; we will pick up when we came back. The chauffeur downstairs already has the limo all set up and is waiting for us.” “Oh Nathan, she says with a smile. “Don’t you start to crying now?” He says as he let out his hand and let her in the door as if she as the first date. At the car, as the chauffeur opens the door, he held her again in the limo as he

held on hand and yet he softly kisses her. But then all o sudden it came through his mind, shit why did I have to kiss her again like this, and then I thought, Nathan just gives up. Go have a good night. Drinking champagne, a singing opera, the followed with Lobsters, that was red in the outside, but white and juice on the inside, then when we were ready to be served, Sandy love one of the jokes that I made comparing her with that lobster. “Look at this Sandy,” I say as I touch her red dress and point at her body.” “At what”? She asks “I am going to do the same thing to this lobster on what I am going to do with you tonight.” “What are you talking about?” “After we get home, I am going to crack this red side that you have outside, then I am going to eat, suck, and lick all that you have on the inside.” Sandy face turn red as she keeps looking at mine, she says. “I don’t know if I should say that I love you, or that you have been very nasty tonight.” “I love you sounds better, because I love you,” Then on my mind a spark hit me. I love you, what am I saying, I shouldn’t have just say, no I have only been very nasty today until we say, Good night.

Chapter 13

O kay, Nathan then I had to say goodbye forever. Did she intend that forever? Well, I did say goodbye, and that’s all I did, but forever not even crossed my mind. Why was I still thinking about Rebeka? I don’t know myself. Sandy Lake told me she loves me, and I know precisely she meant it. She’s been in love with me now for a long time, and I made out that fact because she has at all times very sorry for me because I lost Cathy. But by far her figure that enough time has gone by this is my chance to take it or leave it, at least that’s the way I was thinking. Nevertheless, now I did say that I love her. All I said was a simple I love you. I know that I didn’t mean that, or did I? Or am I falling in love with her? Or is that hanging around with her is that last that thread without anybody else that I love? Came to think of it no I am an adult, and stop thinking like a teenager would, or should, am I or did I? You Nathan just don’t think about and let nature take its course and see on what’s going to happen next. Just hang around with Sandy and let nature take its way and look on what is going to happen next after all the other things did turn out to be the way you thought that would happen with Kathy and or you and Rebeka. Now talking about hanging around Sandy, we better start breaking her and l is on these lobsters because that champagne on that limo has gone way. That wine and caviar already went down. Now miss lobster is time for you to leave this plate that now we are hungry for you. Then we enjoying and had a lot of fun eating that delicious meal. It was now 3 am when that limo drops us off at my house. We were both tired; after all, when we left the restaurant, we went to the nightclub to burn some of those calories. Some of our other friends were very impressed with the way that we were all dressed up and a limo and wandering on what else we were

celebrating. I was told then, not in so many words to make any assumptions on what was going on between both of us, but you know how friends stretch that little story bites, especially the women. But I was the one that did have to worry too much about it. Nevertheless, I couldn’t keep my eyes and the thought that way that Sandy was caring in and how happy she was until we left and arrived back home and as soon as we come and walk into the house, she says. “I am exhausted.” “Me too,” I say “What are we going to do now?” “We should have stopped for some coffee before we let the limo go, because that’s exactly what I need right now,” say as I let go of my suite on the sofa. “Me too, I will for that, she says. “I will make some,” but as I look at the shelf, I realized that it was completely empty. “Oh Sandy I am sorry, but I am afraid that I am all out of coffee right now,” I say as I kiss her. “I was really counting on that, but that’s ok with me,” she says as she kisses me back and let her shoes off. “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you freshen up and I’ll just run downtown and get some.” “Oh no, don’t be silly.” “I insist, I do want to, at 7/11 they have a nice and fresh coffee that is ready to take,” I say as I grab my keys and walk out the door. A half hour later when I am back, the way I expected or the way that I am hoping for I looked at her, she had my t-shirt and underwear. “I am sorry, but I took a shower, that’ all the cloth that I had left.” She says looking at me seducing me.

“Don’t worry because I am as hot as this coffee.” Again there she was looking me with her face red and then laughing, and there I was still that with all my experience or with all my beauty I could snap a finger and have a women with me anytime anywhere if that I want to, I didn’t use that for a long time, but I knew my charm. Still I and Sandy we were together time after time, and I wouldn’t have to go fish for her. Then of course after that coffee was gone, we were in affection again. However, I could tell that she was making love with me, but I on the other side was having sex with her. Of course, I was enjoying, nevertheless feeling guilty even not wanting to have that feeling. I really think that would be another bad thing to break her heart, so I figure if maybe tried maybe I will love her after all, love is blind. I was now way past lunchtime when we both got out of bed. “So what are we doing now?” She asks me. “I don’t know, what you would like for us to do,” I asked her. First I need to go home to get me some cloth.” “Yes, just take my car and go ahead and do that, but just make sure that you get everything and anything that you are going to need for the next five days, and bring a bikini, because I have some plan for us to go to the beach, It’s over 80, and it’s going to be very close to the 90’s tomorrow. “Are you sure,” she asks with a bright smile. “Sandy absolutely, we are on our vacation together.” And just with a quick glance. “I really love too; this is going to be a perfect time.” “Ok, the go.” “Ok, I’ll be back.” Then after she’s back, she is looking beautiful. She has a short and sweet light short with her hair rolled up and showing her sort of long neck, just a little

longer than regular size, but not like a giraffe. I as well was ready with my short shorts and a regular t-shirt. In any case, off we were prepared to spend the whole rest of the day at the beach until we go back home late at that night. Even though we were tired, still that night we did have sex again, but at that time I must say that we both enjoy it even better, with a lot of ion. On the morning she was way out of bed before I got up. As I walked to the kitchen the coffee already and the breakfast was on the table, but as I look at her, I screamed. “God damn, Sandy why did you have to do that?” “I just wanted to surprise you,” she says this time looking frightened because of the way I ask her. “Yes, Sandy Lake you did surprise me.” “But Nathan,” she says “Why did you have to do that?” I scream again. “Stop screaming at me,” But this time she screams at. “What do you want me to say that you look lovely?” “I am sorry; I just thought that you were going to like it.” “Well, you’re completely wrong.” “What did you expected from me?” “Sandy I expected you, to be you and only you period,” I say looking at her like a man. “I am sorry, I am sorry.” “Is that all you’re going to keep on saying, do you think that things are going to change now?” “I don’t know.”

Still talking loud Nathan lift his head and grouching his lips he looks at her, and he says. “You almost had changed me, you could have us together, you could have me love you, but you blow it, you mess it up.” “Shut up, what else you want me to do? “She screams. “I really don’t know, why you don’t tell me on what I should expect from you now.” And with tears she says. “I want you to love me, I want you to be mine, I want to be yours, and Nathan please just loves me.” “I am not something that you can have because you want; I am not something that can just be your toy.” She loudly screams. “Please Nathan, I didn’t mean to be Kathy.” “Then tell me why you had to make me breakfast and serve me dressed on her wedding dress, why Sandy why?” “Because it was just there,” she says. “First of all, I had forgotten that she had a place that damn box there ever since we got married. Kathy and my son die I spent 2 years in England, and there stood until today I see you dressed on it as she’s the one on it, and now there you are as a ghost.” “One day I just happen to run into it,” she says she throws her hair back and runs her hands on the side of her body. “Oh, Sandy pleases.” “Does it matter to you?” “Yes, it does.”

“Oh.” “Oh, how am I going to know when to think about you, and only having you on my mind, or what you are doing next, or what are you going do to surprise next?” “Please, Nathan. “No Sandy.” “Please just go and take it off, because right now I really don’t know.” And with a face of hate, she looks at me, and she says. “I hate that picture, a lot of times I just want to throw it way.” “Surprise, surprise Sandy I did that mostly because of us.” “Nathan we still have time.” “No Sandy, please the dress.” Then without moving a step, she just released it left it on the floor. She walks back inside the bedroom put her short and the t-shirt that she wore when we went to the beach, walked way and say Goodbye

Chapter 14

K athy Will, Rebeka McNeil, and Sandy Lake three women; well two women and a teen that I was involved with my life were now gone away from my thoughts now weren’t to get mixed up with any of them anymore, at least for a while anyway. I thought that I had jinks that every time that I had a female, it would end up with a goodbye. But I was now at a point that I didn’t need anyone that I had to depend on. At one time or another, I thought that I would hit on Jessica Smith, even Sue Wallace, but I wouldn’t trade any of my friends Paul Butler or Joel Coats. I was quite sure that by now Paul was doing very well with Sue and Joel with Jessica and also assumes that eventually, they would end up on each other’s life till death do them part. I believe, or at least want to think about it that way. As far as my life, I was going to have to wait until it hit me on the right target. It was Wednesday since I persuaded my boss to let me out 5 days off from work. I came very clear and told him that all of my friends were now in Mexico. I explain to him that I just need a few days off to stay with one of them that has now three weeks away from her job and feels lonely, or I don’t know maybe just some lying reason that dog and my cat died, and I need to spend some time with them. But with him, if I tell the truth, it’s easy because he’s like me you can never get away with a lie. On what she’s doing now, I really don’t care. Let me re-phrase that, maybe I do care, because now I don’t know on what she’s doing on her free time without her sister and me now on her vacation way on Alabama. According to the meteorologist, he had predicted a hot day; however, he had stated that it would rain for three days after that. I had indicated that it would rain for the next three days after that. I had some silly notion that Sandy and I would go out and walk in the rain, and if we would catch a cold, then so what. I thought about that maybe I could cut her hair shorter. I would tell her that it

was because she and the girls talked about lots of times at the nightclub when they had nothing else to do when they sip on their bloody mary. Sandy usually would hold her painted blond hair up to look short and ask me. “What do you think; do I look better this way? Then let it go and ask or “Look it better this way?” “You look good both ways.” I would answer her iring and touching it. That was my answer at all the times, and that’s what she loves to hear to give her a good reason to give me a kiss and a tight hug. She enjoys being with me all the time, she like all the time, but then that day she just had to blow everything out or at least some of those special feelings that I was starting to feel about her. Sandy, why did you do that? I didn’t hear from her. Not that I was looking forward to it, but it did cross my mind that she would call me or pay me a visit to apologize. But then thinking twice, if she did, I wouldn’t know if I would forgive her, so I tried to wipe that out of my mind, I just couldn’t get into that forgiven and forget to start with anyway. It was finally Monday when I was happy to go back to work. I spent the rest of the week at home doing nothing, but sitting, eating pizza and laying down on the sofa watching TV. Two weeks had gone by as our friends came back from their vacation from Mexico, and that made me sort of pleased believe or not I am going to be even happier if they bring my gift, because I am ready to drink that tequila. At this point and time, I am entirely prepared to take a shoot straight from the bottle without any salt and lime that way I can just go to bed and go straight to sleep, but I don’t think that I will be thrilled to get up in the morning to go to work. I would be happy if they bring me that Mexican Senhorita telling me vamo nos, vamo nos amigo, I am sure that she would give all that pleasure, that Sandy was giving me that last time I was trying to have a loving relationship with her. The guys were back, but I hadn’t seen Sandy then. I kept thinking on was going to happen when we were going to get together. I didn’t have to wait for too long as it was now late on Sunday. After the bell rang at my house, I thought that would be the pizza that I just had order, but that was all of my friends.

“Hey, how are you doing, what a nice surprise for a late Sunday night.” “What’s up buddy,” Paul and Joel say as they first walk in giving me all those hugs. Paul hand me the tequila bottle and Joel had a big hat on his head as he then put on my head and taps it a couple times down. And as they walk in, I look behind them and, I say. “All right you girls now you can get my Mexican seniority from behind you,” I say as I am moving my head side to side looking behind them, but my Mexican seniority wasn’t there, and they weren’t all that happy to see me. They were giving some smiles, but some fakes smiles and some light hugs without any kisses. “So what’s happening,” I ask as I am looking at them, Jessica looks straight at my eyes, says.” “Why don’t you tell us, on what’s happening.” “What are you talking about,” I had to ask her right way; I knew that she must be referring about Sandy. As everybody let go their smiles, I asked. “Again, what are you talking about,” I ask her, but this time with a straight face. “Just let us know on what is going on.” “Hey cut the shit; let’s not go around with this.” Then Sue says. “It’s about Sandy.” “Yeah, what about Sandy”? She looked at my face as she is waiting for an answer, but at that very second, the doorbell rings. “Hold on that must be the pizza,” I say as to let everybody stand, suspense and think, I take my time get the pizza to give him a tip and put at the table, she says. “When we got home she was gone.”

“Gone?” Yes gone, her cloth, her shoes, and everything else that belongs to her.” “Did she leave a letter where she was going to,” I asked looking straight at her. “No that’s why we came by, maybe you know something.” “Jessica steps in front of her, and she said. “Yes, you must know something,” now near me. Joel at the time had already opened a pizza box as he says. “Hey, Nathan you only got one pizza that gives one piece each for each one of us.” He looks at everybody and asks, “Who doesn’t want his that way I can every two slices, I am starving.” “Peter Shut up,” she demands as she kept looking at my face waiting for an answer.” I take a piece of the pizza and calmly make a bite of it.” “Came on Nathan, do you know why?” she asks. “Yes, I do know why I say after I swallow what’s in my mouth.” “Why?” she asks and keeps looking straight at my face as she’s demanding an answer. Then I quickly walk over to my bedroom where I have Kathy wedding dress. I grab all rolled all in front of my chest as I couldn’t hardly see in front of my face and drop on the floor in front of everybody. “What is this all about? “Well now we don’t know, what is this all about Joel ask me as he takes another bite of his pizza.” “Ok then here it is,” I say as I pick it up and am moving around showing it. “Oh came on,” Jessica says.

“All right then, we had a good time at the opera, we had lobsters.” Then what? She asks “Jessica shut up” Sue scream. “After a good rest of the night in bed she got up while I was still sleeping, she made me an excellent breakfast. Then after I walked over to the kitchen, and when I glance my eyes on her, I couldn’t believe myself as I can see her all dressed in a wedding dress and waiting for me to say I do. And with a pause, I ask her, do you know whose wedding dress this is? Everybody is looking at me with a question mark that they probably knew, as I say. “This friend is the wedding dress of my dead wife- and you know what else? I forgot that I had that box laid back there for the past 5 years, ever since Kathy had her wedding dress put into it. – And you know what my friends? When I ask her how she found it- you know what else she said, my friends.” “I just happen to run into.” And you know what my friends? It was like this god damn dress was just walking around. And you really want to know what else? She just wants me to love her. And you know what? She just wants me to be hers. Then I finally say, as I start to rip the dress apart as it was a piece of paper. “These friends, it’s all I know about Sandy.” This time as Paul was the one that was complete quiet during this conversation from that beginning hold me, saying “Nathan, try to calm down he says holding me. “Don’t keep doing this, maybe you just have to relax a little bit to save this dress, maybe is very important to you.” Now was even better, so I pulled it off, and that dress now was all rip off apart. “Okay Nathan I can see that now you got a lot out of your system, are you going to be all right? But I say. What, do you think that I should be all right? Do you think that I should be happy? Or you think that I am an asshole? Well, you guys tell me because I have no idea on what to do anymore.” And

looking at everybody, I ask “Well does anybody have any suggestion, any ideas?” “I don’t know Nathan; I don’t know what to say or what to do,” Jessica says as she comes to hug me, but that was the last thing that I need. I turned around to the sink dishes holder that was next to those last 3 pieces of pizzas that was now getting cold. I grabbed a slice and took a big bite off of it, just to keep my mouth full and shut. All of a sudden, as we are all looking at each other to see who was going to be the next one to talk, but no one had a word to say. Paul took a piece of pizza before he took a bite, he says. “Now that we all know on what is going on, I think that maybe now we should just sit back and see on what is going to happen next.” “What do you think is going to happen next?” Jessica asks what? Just tell me, what do you think is going to happen next?” “Jessica, what the hell do you think I am going to know on what is going to happen next?” “If I knew I wouldn’t ask, would I?” “Neither does anyone of us, so stop asking these stupid questions.” “What?” she replays. Paul is looking straight at her face, still holding his pizza without taking that first bite. “I don’t know.” He says, then why don’t you just shut up.” “No, you shut up.” She screams. “All right you guys calm down, you guys are losing control of this whole situation here,” Sue says as she gets in between them. “Yes you guys let’s all calm down, there isn’t a hell of a lot, that we can do tonight and then getting all pissed off here all night, whose here with me to get some more pizza and take some shots of the tequila?” Joel says.

We all kept looking at him now eating the last piece. Yes, I guess that’s the best that we can do to end this day or this vacation for this matter, Sue says. Nathan then called the pizza house and order 6 more. He knew then with those shots of tequila, that was going to be needed as that was what keep then up until 3 in the morning. Even though that bottle was one of his presents he only had three shots of it, and he ate a whole pizza- and he had to drag himself out of the house. Everybody else was still there until I got back home at night. Throughout that entire day, he thought that maybe they want to talk some more about it, but that wasn’t it, they just couldn’t drag themselves out of there. They order the Chinese food but, that was still sitting on the table. And there we were now, with that cold Chinese food felling empty as that bottle of tequila, our face that was always looking dead as much as that worm was still inside but our mind was still inside thinking where Sandy was gone now without saying Goodbye.

Chapter 15

T hat’s how I felt at that time, with a smile on my face on the outside, but with that dead feeling on the inside. That’s how I felt now, ever since Sandy moved away. Sue moved in with Paul, and Joel moved in with Jessica. That was just a switch of places, instead of a man sharing his apartment with his pal friend; they were now sharing their room with their girlfriends, or vice-versa. Back at home again; there I sat alone like I’ve always been. This time I was close, but not on the right target. I wasn’t complaining, but lonely as I have always been especially now that Sandy was gone. My friends usually would call me every weekend to ask me if I was going to be at the nightclub, but I always had an answer that I had to catch up with some business, that I don’t feel right, or that I am really not in the mood to go out tonight. They would get mad with me now knowing that those were excuses not to tag along now knowing that Sandy wasn’t going to be there as my partner, but they are good friends that lots of time just came over to my place to spend time with me. Summer was gone, and school starts. I was sort of happy because now the weather’s start to cool down. The leaves were going to fall, and I wouldn’t have to wait too long before all that snow would start to come on down that I love to shovel. I am such a liar; I hate the snow and that cold weather. The truth is that I keep my hopes up that Rebeka would show up just to say hello. I was even late 3 times to work because I waited for the school bus to stop at the end of my street, and the other 2 times was before and after, but she wasn’t on it. I think the only thing that has happened is that Sandy sent a letter that came from New York, letting we know that she lives in Alabama with her sister. None of us have her sister address. As we believe that was her whole idea to start with to let, us know that is still alive. Well, Sandy, It’s charming to hear from you; at least I won’t have to worry about and just she keeps my life going my way. As time went on my life is going in its usual way. It is late one day when I

finally got home. I was exhausted after going through a tough day with my boss with all that, I need this right way- we need to get this documents done and approved today, I do not depend on your expert’s, work on this right way. All I had to do was to say yes sir no sir. Every now and then I felt like telling him to piss off, but with his temper that would make that day even worse than I was gone have to deal with. I let him get away with murder. I got paid very well and really like my job, so I had to put up with him like I was his right or left hand or whatever way that would work as longs as he was happy. After that whole day, at least when walked in at home I ordered a pizza. Five minutes later the doorbell rang. I hope that at least the cheese melted down on that pizza, but that wasn’t it. Instead, that was this beautiful woman that looks like Rebecca, not older than her 40’and as I looked at her and say hi, she says. “I am sorry, it took me quite a while to find out about you, and I’ve been waiting outside for quite a while.” I am looking at this beautiful woman, but before I could say anything, she asks. “May I come in?” “Are you Nathan?” she asks me looking at me from top to bottom. “Yes, I am.” Nathan my name Is Judy, Judy McNeil, I am Rebeka McNeil mother, and I heard that you met her.” “Yes Ms. McNeil I did meet her, but I haven’t seen her for quite a while lately,” “How’s she doing?” “Nathan right now you are the only one that she has on her mind, the only thing that she has on her life and the only one that she wants to talk with.” She says as she begins crying. Ms. McNeil, please calm down,” I say as I get closer, and hold her on my arms as she says. “Please save my daughter, I need this I am begging you, please.”

“Ms. McNeil, please relax, of course, I will do anything to see on what’s going on with her.” “You are, that’s what going on with her.” “What are you talking about? I ask her now with an angry face. “Yes Nathan, my daughter already tried to commit suicide cutting her pulse, and then she was starving herself to death. “What are you saying? “Yes that what she was doing; the last thing that she says to me was, that if you don’t want to have her, she’s not going to live her life without you.” “You have got to be kidding me.” “No that’s how’s she’s been living her life for the past few weeks.” I am shaking as I say. “I can’t believe this, I just can’t believe this.” “Believe me, I don’t care about what you did, but please save my daughter, she’s the only one that I have in my life.” I am furious on the way that she says on what I did to her daughter. “What are you talking about, on what I did? I ask. “Nathan I don’t care.” “Well, I do.” “Then what did you do to her?” “Not a damn thing.” “I don’t understand.” “Ms. McNeil you came over my house and tell me or ask me on what I did to

your daughter and now she is trying to kill herself because she doesn’t want to live without me.” As I kept looking at her face but then she starts to cry again. “Ok now let’s start this again, why you don’t sit down. Do you want something to drink, some water- some coffee.” I ask her as I hand her some tissues. “No Nathan I am good, I just want you to save my daughter.” “Ok then let’s both see on what we have to do to fix this.” “You, you are the only one that is going to fix this, to make Rebeka understand what life is all about.” I am sure that shot of that tequila would calm both of us down if I still had some left, but all was left was the dead worm that by now was getting really dry, so I guess we are both going to be happy with that pizza that just had arrived. I must say that we were both starving as I served to her on a plate, but before I took a bite on mine, she says. “I need you to go to the Hospital with me, I didn’t think that I was going to find you tonight, but I didn’t give up.” “Ah shit, why didn’t you tell me right away that she was at the Hospital,” I ask as I take a quick bite on the pizza. “Yes, we had to bring her there as soon as she was found by a hunting team on the mountains of Maine. When they found her, she was completely ed out, and with a pause “I thought she was dead.” “Jesus Christ, how could she feel about me that way?” “I don’t know, please let’s just save my daughter.” “Yes let’s go and save your daughter,” I say as I took the last bite of my pizza and grab my keys and when we were outside Ms. McNeil says. “I will drive us there that way we can talk on the way.” “Ok, I say, although it took at least a ½ hour to get there, we didn’t talk too much as we were worried on what Rebeka action was going to be once I was there. For

what was worth a good reason was when we got there, and Judy parked the car she held my hand as she says. “Thank you, Nathan.” “Ms. McNeil, please I say holding her hands. “She will be all right, we’ll get through it.” “Bill on the way will be happy to see you,” and with a pause, the better, he’s a very star bum man.” “Bill? Who’s Bill?” I ask. “Oh I am sorry, that’s my husband, and you know, Rebeka is our only child as we tried before she was the one that came from heaven.” “I see,” I say as I released her hands and we came out of the car. We tiptoed now I was kind of worried about what was going to happen next. We walked directly to this private room. Bill McNeil was sitting and sleeping on a chair right next to her bed, where now she was hooked up on an I.V machine and a respirator. “Bill, Bill, wake up,” Judy says as she taps on his shoulder. “Judy I was worried about you,” he says he rubbed his eyes and then look at me. “This is Nathan, the name that Rebeka call all the time.” He stands up in front of me, and say. “You know, because of what you did to my daughter I can put you in jail for a long time?” Still staring at my face as close as he could get, he also asks, “How dare you?” A man that is all muscle from top to bottom, there stood in front of me accusing me and treatment with a face that looks like nothing, but hate or a cobra that is ready to bite me, nevertheless I wasn’t going to put up with it, as I am prepared to fight fire with fire, and staring at his face, I say.

“Mr. McNeil, first of all, I don’t think this is an appropriate place and time for you to be talking with me that way since this is first that I’ve seen you, second due the circumstances now that I can see that Rebeka is on, I can make a good suggestion that we can go to another room to make this a private conversation to look on what we are going to do next to resolve this problem, and third …but before I could say another word Judy got in between both of us and says. “Bill calm down now, you should apologize to him and be happy that I found and bought him over.” “Judy, can’t you see my point here? I thought that this Nathan was a high school stupid boy that now Rebeka was stupid enough to put her life on death again because of her falling in love.” “Bill shut up.” She softy screams looking straight with a grumpy face directly at him. “I’m sorry it’s just that I can’t’ stop thinking to look at our daughter this way,” Bill says as he kisses her forehead. After that, the man that I was scared now starts to cry over his daughter face forehead. Judy pulls him off, get close to her head and, say. “Sweetheart, we are here, and you will be ok, Nathan came here to see you.” I could read lip as she hardly says my name, and as I get close, she let out a soft smile. I quickly moved the respirator from her face. Then Bill reaches over taps me on my back as he says. “Please take good care of my daughter.” Then he hugs Judy that now has some happy tears coming down and walks out leaving me there alone with my love child. I am in love with a 15 years old girl that to me now is no longer just a teen but to me the one that I fell in love with every since the very first time I saw her. I couldn’t tell anybody other than just keep it on my mind all day and stare at her beauty with my eyes without letting anybody else notice me. Now am looking at her again, but I could see, and show her what I was looking at that time. Anyway as we are now looking at each other, she looks at me now with that smile brighter reaches for my hand, and I

hold it as she slowly says. “Nathan, I love you, why can’t you love me?” “You know I also love you, you know that I fell in love with you since that first time that I saw you.” Why you never want to tell me? Why you never wanted to share your love with me? Why Nathan, Why? “Because,” and that’s all I say. “Because of what,” she whispered.” “That’s really not important.” “No Nathan, that is very important to me, I can’t stop think that you love someone else and will never give you to me.” “Why don’t you just relax now, you are very weak and right now I really need to put you back on this respirator, then we can talk about this later when you feel better.” But she doesn’t give up. “Tell me, Nathan.” “Really now just relax.” “Is it because of Sandy?” “No Rebeka, It’s because now you are only a 15 and I am 26,” that wasn’t what she wants to hear, but that was one of the facts. I am not just a girl, I am a person that cares about you, and I am a person that wants you beside me for the rest of my life. Nathan, why can’t you just see this? What else is there that you want to keep away from me?” “Ok since you want to know about my life, you might as well know about Kathy.”

“Kathy,” whose, Kathy? “Rebeka please, I say. “No, who is Kathy? She now whispered, and struggle let go a couple tears. “She was my wife that died.” And then her tear just went away. “I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you that way she says.” “And that’s all you are going to hear right now, ok,” “Ok,” she says as she’s now quiet, maybe because she heard about Kathy, as far as I know, there’s going to be a lot of questions and answer from now on. “Ok, then let’s work on you to get well.” “I love you.” I love you too, and we will be together until death does us apart.” “Oh Nathan, I promise you, I’ll take my last breath with you right next to me, I need you, I love you, I am happy, that you love to share together.” She says as she I looking for air. “Ok you don’t talk anymore, you are very week, I say as I put the respirator back on her mouth. Now I am standing next to the one I love, nevertheless with a fear of losing. Now, Rebeka, just one day don’t look at me and say Goodbye.

Chapter 16

T wo months have gone by, and Rebeka is back to school. By this time the whole city know all the facts of why she wanted to kill herself and why I was the same man. Mr. and Ms. McNeil now know about the way that Rebeka and I feel with each other and wouldn’t let anybody to get in between us, that included the law, within that, it made me safe without been call a child ab. But I was an all right man because I wouldn’t keep going after her every second of the day, besides that I fear once in a while that she would come over and tell me that she was sorry because she found someone that’s about her age that now she likes or love. Most of the time I felt safe the way she loves and cares about me, especially now the idea that she treat me, writing poems with this little hearts and comedies on it. At one time or another, I kind felt silly about receiving those cards in the mail. As far as Kathy I thought about her, but she was gone, and I couldn’t compare her with Rebeka, but strangely enough, I felt the way I was grappling with her. As far as Sandy, I never heard anything about her ever since that day she left me. Paul and Joel never criticized me now about going out with Rebeka. But I knew that Sue and Jessica did because every now and then my buddies would mention to me that their friend would tell them, that I was a crazy man to go out with a little girl, even a man that was enjoying a teenager. Nonetheless, they protect me against them or anybody else that would make any bad comments . Two years had gone by, after my sweet child graduate from High School. I wanted to get married ever since that first day that she left the Hospital, but she refuses to tell me that now knowing that I was never going to leave her, to wait until the time was right. I could use and abuse her as she was just a doll, but I was decent enough to let her live her teen life to see what she was getting involved with.

Finally, the time was right, and she was pleased and excited about it, especially her parents when I ask them for their permission to do so. I was pleased not only with the way they were proud and thankful of me but the way that I respect them and the way that we spent all of our time together. Usually, on the weekend we would all go out to eat, go to the movies, or would find out others things to do. Paul, Joel, Jessica, and Sue, most of the time, spent time with us on a lot of this entertainment throughout the spring, summer, fall, and winter, always finding something to do. Many of times I want to break her virginity and have sex with her regularly, but she still wants to save it until we were married. She always thought that was the way that God wants it to be because Jesus was born from a Virgin Mary. We even once went on a vacation to Mexico. Rebeka for some reason was scared to be there, and at one time or another she was foolish, she couldn’t take a shot of tequila or didn’t want to because she didn’t like the smell of it. I didn’t mind and just gave her the burrito. It wasn’t the first time that I want her to eat my burrito, but because of that, we had to have a real argument. I could live without it, but I had to fight about and just and play with her body from top to bottom until the time was right. That’s the way that she wants or need her respect and that’s the way that I gave her. Sometimes, people that didn’t know and would see me been gentle to my love, that would show right away that they were ready to call me a child molester, but I really didn’t care, as a matter of fact, I would get in front of everybody and slob myself all over her and make them wonder. Once or twice I did have the Police call on for me but all I had to do was to show this beautiful diamond I gave her, and that was only for the hell of it because other than my sweet child would make the entire scene telling everybody to leave her fiancée alone. And I love it. I wish I could bring her to the Red Night Club, but to get in there she had to be 21, beside that I wasn’t hanging around there like I used to and the people I knew sort start to go away. Once In a while, I would go there by myself just to hang around, but then again she would find out about it. Of course, that would bring her some little tears on which case it was good for me that it made even more comfortable and pleasant to soften her up to that kiss and makeup. Still, that wouldn’t stop me to go out alone and do my things, like they say after all my wings weren’t cut off, and you

know that “boys will be boys,” and what happens in “Vegas stays in Vegas.” Nobody knows what I did or not. Finally a few months later we got married, but one thing for sure that night on our honeymoon night, I was the one that was completely nervous. I was finally relieved because Rebeka was still as pure as the day she was born. Otherwise, our life would be thrown away. I would not accept any excuses that that was an accident, or it was a long time ago, or you know all that shit that the woman comes out with and at the very beginning of our marriage everything was just fine, as our life was going great as I has been for the past few years. Still, as time went on, it does change on marriage, when we begin to disagree with one thing or another. Well, that’s regular life. However one day we did have that one hell of a lousy fight when she wanted to attend College, let me re-phrase that when she wants to move into a University, and she would be coming home Friday night and go back on Sunday night. She wants me to drive there every day or every other day to see her, but that University that she wanted to go was 3 hours away from home. Even trying to explain to her or open her mind that to do that, I would have to keep wake 24/7, but she insisted to me that she had made her mind. That’s the University that decided to attend every since that she was a freshman in High School. That was only our first year of marriage, and now she wanted to throw it all way. I believe that she loves me, but was she still in love with me, I questioned myself. Does it make a difference comparing to that love at first sight? Now, I love her very much, knowing what the sentiment of love is all about. I just wasn’t sure that she was accepting those feelings since now that we are married. She was staying at home and be bored, for me now to drive back and forth to another State to keep up with her. Hell no, she’s out of her mind. Yes, but now there was the black side of my wife, as It was a week after that first fight that I would come home late at night, and that high how are you? Good. How are you? Good and that was the end of it. It was Friday night when I got home around 8:00 pm, as she was ready with her friend, and as soon as I walk in, she asks.

“Nathan, why are so late today?” “What? I ask even before I take my suit off and untie my necktie. “I thought that you were going to came home a little bit early today.” She says. “What are you talking about?” “You know when we talk about that I am going out to the University with my friend tonight.” No, Mathew says “We didn’t talk about this at all, what happened was, that we had an argument about you moving into a University.” “No, that wasn’t it, you know what I am talking about,” she speaks loud. “Rebeka grows up Mathew yells, at least on your mind you probably can what day of the week is today.” “What do you mean?” she asked looking at me paused. “I don’t understand on what you are saying.” “Of course you don’t, you never tell the name of this University, how much it costs or have to be paid ahead “What are you, my father?” “No I am not your father, your mother, or you pat, I am your husband.” Her friend looks at her as I am sure to hear what she says. “I thought that just you live with your friend.” “Shut up, we will talk about this later,” She says as she looks at her friend. “No Rebeka we’ll talk about this right now,” I say a bit louder, and by the way where is your wedding ring?” “Nathan we will talk about this later.” Now she screams.

“No, we will talk about this right now.” “No,” she says now with her face turning red as she is looking at her friend. “No, we will talk about this right now.” Now I talk loud as I continue telling her, your precious diamond ring, that you call all the time, did you drop at the sewer? Where is this University that you are going to? Who’s your friend? What is your plan for tonight, and what’re you planning for the future?” Can you answer me any of my questions, or do you also have to take any class to it?” “Nathan, I really don’t want to talk with you right now, you know that when we talk like this that you get crazy.” “So what do will want to do about it to keep us in peace and calm?” “I don’t want to talk about anything right now,” she says. Her friend is looking at her, making her looking as I could see she was ready to hit me with a big slap on my face. “Just stop embarrassing me in front of my friend.” “Your friend, ah Rebeka we can all be your friend, but right now with me you are a different friend, a different love.” And looking at her soft face, I ask her. “What is going on with you my love; just tell me on what is going on?” She looks at her friend and looks back at me and says.” “Nathan, tonight I am going to the University, and I will call you back when things are all right.” “No Rebeka, it’s not all right, as far I am concerned for me you can put your ring back on then we will talk about this, I will know what University that you are going to, it’s up to you.” “No my choice is to go now.” She says now really irritated. She has two suitcases that are full to the neck, and after she picks one, she asks me.

“I have them completely full, and they’re really heavy, can bring the other one to my friend’s car? “Ha, ha, ha, a lot of that you’ll have to learn on this University that you are going to attend.” “Nathan please,” she says “Why don’t you ask your friend to help you? “Here why don’t you help your friend carry her suitcase”? I ask as I pointed to it. Now without saying a word, she holds it and goes to the front door. My wife gets her keys but, I say. “Here let me see this for a second,” I say as I take the keychain from her hand and remove the keys from the front and the back door of the house, and also the key from her car “What do you think you doing?” she asks. “I don’t think that you’re going to need these, I don’t want to have any surprise and find you with all your so call friends in my house when I came back from work.” “Oh you don’t have to worry about that,” she says as she pulls the other keys from my hand that are the one from the car. She didn’t bother or never crossed her mind that I have a copy of the keys of her car, as she grabs the other suitcase and walks way to the front door as she is saying. “Goodbye, Nathan.” “Yes goodbye, just make sure that when I see you again, that won’t be at a hospital thin as a toothpick.” “Don’t worry about that.” She says as she opens it, and look at me. “Also my love, don’t you forget that now your parents have moved to Florida and I am almost sure that they won’t be crying to bring you back as their little

girl, you know right now you are an adult or suppose to be one.” She’s looking at me grounding her lips as she is ready to say I hate you, but then she takes a heavy breath, relaxes and start to walk away without saying another word. “Yes, Rebeka just walk away, Goodbye

Chapter 17

I t was another day and another week that had gone by, and it was late Friday night that I arrived home. I am thinking now that, 10 to 1 my sweet wife was thinking that I would guess on what University or what College that she was planning to go to in Massachusetts. But here on this State, there are at least 10 to 15 of them, and if she’s financially secure to pay for any of it them, it makes me wonder where she got the money to pay for it. Maybe she has her own private at the bank that I don’t know about it. Not that I care, but I wonder. If she asks me, I will tell her right away that I am not a millionaire, but I have enough money to buy her a brand new University; no I’m just kidding. Still, I have enough for her to attend any of them. In any case, now that she’s moving in with her friend, they’re probably going to share all their financials of this whole crap, but I don’t know why I am really thinking about this now. I don’t know why I make my wife live so tricky, but the only thing that I can’t get out of my mind is to wonder where she’s right now. Maybe I was too harsh with her because she was very thoughtless and just wants to leave me without talking about it. Where are you Rebeka, where are the women that I love? Where’s my teen, that now it’s learning to be a woman that is on the loose? Well, let me put this way, the one that now the wings are growing and is now starting to fly away from me.” Well, my sweet love, I’ve got good news for you, because before those wings get too long and take you too far away, I am going to find you and bring you back to me. But still have my arms in the air looking for you, on this city, or any other State, it doesn’t matter, but this world is too big, and I don’t know where to start. My love, I can’t get you out of my mind, I can’t get away from your soft body, that ion that I love to share with you that I have never done with anybody else. Let me go back to that, making love with Kathy that was different, and so was

having sex with Sandy, but with you, my child it was something that I am already missing, not only to make love with you but to have you on my arms and on my side. Now as I sit at that chair and look at an empty table. Ding dong, ding dong, I was never so happy to hear my doorbell ring. It hadn’t ordered a pizza, and that wasn’t it. Could that be my lovely wife, I thought? Did she change her mind? Did she smart up? Does she miss me now? Is that my little child? I was disappointed because it was Paul and Joel. “Hey how you guys doing, I am so happy to see you, it’s been quite a while.” “Yeah,” Paul says as we shake hands and I also tap Joel on his shoulder. “So, what have you guys been up to?” I ask. “You know, go to work, and get a different girl every now and then.” And that’s what Joel says, as that was one of his favorite’s jokes of all the time, even when Jessica was with him. Of course, that was just to make that joke, but he also knew what was going to get that little tap on the back of his head and along with that a reminder that she would, say to him. “Now you behave yourself.” and he would answer her as “Yes my love, you know that you are the only one for me,” and then with that kiss that would make sure that there was nobody else in between them. At that time for that whole week, I can say that I lost at least five pounds because I wasn’t eating all day other than just a snack here and there. Usually at night when I got home, Rebeka would have us a dinner all set on the table, with flower, wine, and all types of love that she would come with it after lunch. She did cook very well. She had taken a few cooking classes when she was in high school, but now there was no dinner at the table. So I guess that night with that surprise visit from my friends I had to good reason to go back to the good old days and order some pizzas. After we were in and settle we were also quiet for a few seconds so, I say. “Hey, I am hungry, and as you know Rebeka do all that excellent cooking, but tonight she had one thing or another to do, but I am not quite sure she will be back before you guys leave, so I guess I’ll order some pizzas.” Paul kept looking at me as he is ready to tell me to shut up but, he says.

“Don’t worry about that Nathan, the girl already went to see about this things,” Paul says as he went to pick some beers for me, him, and Joel. And as I took my beer, I say. “Really,” “Yes, really,” He responded. “How many are there.” “Three, all three of them,” I kept looking at him, this time as I am lost on what he was talking about. “What type?” “Special,” he says as he’s looking straight at my face. “Special ah,” “Yes Nathan, very special.” “I see,” I say. “At least for me she’s special, and I think Joel feel the same as well.” “She what are you talking about, when did you start to call a pizza she?” I ask. “You know what I am saying.” “No Paul, I don’t know what you’re saying, I am talking about a pizza, now you tell me what kind of pizza you are talking about.” “You should know what I am talking about.” “No Paul I don’t know on what you’re talking about, but one thing for sure, right now I am getting really pissed off because this is the women gossip talking shit.” “You’re right Nathan, I do feel like shit, you know that I’m not like that, I just don’t want to screw things up for the rest of this weekend with Sue.”

“So what’s up?” He’s ready to tell me what’s up, but I hear the doorbell ring. I keep looking at him and, he says. “Don’t lose your thoughts,” I say as I walk to the door, that when I open it, Sue and Jessica are standing there, as each one of them is holding two pizzas each. They came in, but before, I say anything, Sue says. “2 more pizzas are coming, do you want to see it?” “What’re you talking about? I ask. She handles the two pizzas that she has on my hands, as when I walk close to the table to put it on the table, and then she looks out the door as I hear her say. “Ok came over here now.” And there she is now, my lovely wife holding the other two pizzas with a couple natural tears holding down on her soft face. She tries to wipe then as she works to raise her right hand but not been able to reach her eyes because those pizzas were actually super unique. Just a few minutes ago I was wondering where she was, missing her, and hoping that she would come back. She came back, but now she was with tears coming down, and I thought, hey why not, now with those tears she belongs to me. Now I own her. Now I can take advantage of those tears coming down and landing on that box of pizza. And as she walks in, she says. “Nathan my love, can you please ever forgive me?” she asks me now leaning those pizzas toward me as if she was giving as a present. You know me always looking at her sweet face as I saw her face that she was weak, I held it as I say. “Ah, Rebeka is that what you are going to be asking me every time that you break my heart? All the time that you just drop me like I am just a piece of glass that can just be swept up with the broom and be thrown away? Is that what sucking with the vacuum take your pick, on that what you want to keep doing to

me? What is it, is that you want to do?” “Don’t you think that you have been a bit cruel with her,” Jessica says she takes the pizzas away from my hands. Then there we were, standing speechless with empty hands looking at each other as I say. “No Jessica, I am not someone or something that can just be picked up and be thrown away.” Rebeka then starts crying like a baby. “Well, I think you shouldn’t have done that, I think you should talk to her.” “Jessica, that’s not your decision, Nathan is the one that has to think about that,” Joel says as he takes that pizza from her hands put it on the table with the other one that he was now making his second piece of it. “But my point is that is the way that a woman likes to hear anything coming out of a man.” She says as she looks at both of us. Joel takes a bite on his pizza and say. “There you go again you can’t see the way how they feel about each other” “Yes, I guess you are right, but Nathan you know me I really like to know on what you are going to do next?” Rebeka is looking at us following at everybody conversation as she says “I am sorry I can’t listen to you guys right now.” She says as she runs to our bedroom. Jessica now was quiet for a few seconds again looking at me with those eyes of a snake that was ready to bite me as she says “Oh, she was with all of us for the whole week with a broken heart minute after minute and day after day doing that crying as it took Sue and me to finally convince her to came back to talk to you.” But before she says anything else, I ask.

“What! She was with you guys?” “Yes Nathan, Sue says she was with us.” “Then why didn’t you guys call me to let me know about it?” “What is this, do you think that we were babysitting a 5-year-old girl that had disappeared for a week? That was her decision, not mines. “Fell guilty now?” Jessica asked me. “No I don’t feel quilt, did she tell you that I kicked her out of here?” “No.” “Did she tell you why?” “Yes, she did.” “So!” “She had to make up her mind.” She looks at me as I say. “What do you have to say about that?” “Maybe you could look about, or think about it anyway.” “Oh, please spare me, you don’t know on what’s going on my life.” “I don’t think that I want to know,” Jessica says as she’s ready to start a huge argument, Joel s in and say. “There you go again.” “Yes you’re right I am sorry.” But she looks at me and asks. “But Nathan, you know me, and I must ask what’re you going to do next?” Sue looks at me as well.

I moved myself to my bedroom. My wife is lying on her side and holding a pillow, as I lay down beside her. “Why did you do that?” I ask her as I hug her hard yet tenderness. “Did what, stayed away from you?” she asks. “Yes,” “What was I supposed to do,” call you? Ask you for my keys? Ask you for permission to come back home?” Nathan, I just couldn’t come back right back without reason, I was afraid of you. All I could think was that you wouldn’t let me came back to be with you again, I am sorry.” “Listen,” I say, but she didn’t let me say anything else. “My friend told me that we were going to do, but things didn’t go right, so please don’t tell me to go away because now I love you very much, now more than ever,” She says and hugs me tight like a rope. She wouldn’t give me a chance to say anything. “Nathan I need you,” and she kisses me over and over again. Well, I guess there was any other way for her to show how we could end our life together. That love of my sweet child and me will be there now to share life forever. Now we lay next with each other with nothing else to say. The door was open when Sue look at us saying, “Are you guys coming to eat pizza now with us or what are we going to do?” she asks. “Yes now we are gone to eat some pizza,” I say I get up and raise my wife out of bed. And when we walk back to the kitchen, Joel asks. “Are you guys ready to eat some pizza now?” “Yes, we are,” I respond.

“Well then I guess then we’re gone have to put these other pizzas that are left on the oven to heat it up a little bit, you know, because of all this hard time that we are going through tonight it must get cold by now. It’s anybody with me with that?” He asked and took another piece of the one that he already ate leaving just another 2 slices left. “No, I guess that will be ok,” Paul say, and looking at Nathan, “Here you start with this one because as far I can see you have lost some weight.” “Oh, you notice that.” “Yeah, I’ve learned that from Sue.” It was beneficial because now Rebeka gave a little smile about it, and I saw it I gave her a smile back. Joel by now was almost down eating his last piece and opens another box. He chews it faster than any one of us but leaving that crust at the end of it. Still, after a while, all that pizza is gone, and at this time without any talk we all just say Good night.

Chapter 18

I t was a cold morning when I got up and went to make us some a breakfast, every since Rebeka had gone for no longer than a week, and there I was again with that refrigerator empty with nothing but ice. We had plenty of pizza just a few hours ago, but I thought that my sweet child was ready to add some vitamins to her lovely body after we spent a lot of our energy at that particular night making love. I am sure that I could use some coffee. I took off to dunking donuts while my sweet child lay there with nothing, but her soft long hair was covering her beauty. As I am driving back home, now sipping and enjoying my coffee, still thinking like of all the fun that I just had last night. Within those thoughts on my mind, it was a good idea to stop at this flower shop to pick some roses. That was one of her favorite flower that she loves on every color, but she never told me which one is her favorites and that was going to be up to me when I stopped at this flower shop. “Good morning, how can I help this morning,” this lovely lady asks? “I need some roses for my lovely wife.” “How many would you like since she’s so lovely,” “Today I am getting her 3 dozens.” “I just love to hear this, especially the way that you love her.” “I have to go back in there; I only have 2 dozens over here.” But in this case, they were red. “Wait,” I say, I only need 1 dozen of the red ones, I am also taking 1 of the yellow ones and 1 of the white ones, I don’t know which one is her favorite, she

loves them all.” “I really like this I wish that everyone that would come here would think like you today because that makes me feel really happy selling all these roses for all those that come here for their loved ones.” “Oh, that would be nice for everyone,” but as I say that she looks at me and say. “Now don’t you dare think that I am talking about a funeral?” “Don’t be silly,” I say, as I watch her snapping and pilling the leaves of the roses and spread it on this big white box, making it look beautiful as when a swan spread their wings, that when she did she also ask me, “Oh, now you can write her something.” “Ok,” I thought for a few seconds. Roses are red, roses are yellow, and roses are white I didn’t know which one to get you So I got you all these to show you How much I can love till the end of our life. I give her and, she says. “That’s so lovely, as she put on the top of that big box with flowers, so you guys have a great day.” As I go home, I had to walk in fast as to put everything on the table as I could hear a loud sound of cry coming from our room. “Rebeka my sweet child, what is wrong, why are crying? I ask her as I turn her head over to me. What is the matter?” I ask her again. “I am sorry, I just couldn’t think when I woke and didn’t see you here right next to me, the only thing that I could think was that you left me.” “Oh, my love why did you think I would do that with you?”

“I don’t know, right now that’s the only thing that I can’t get it out of my mind.” She says as she wipes her tears. “My sweet child if am going to leave you’re gone the first one that is going to know about it,” I say as I kiss her forehead. “Ok, now you’re making fun of me.” “Yes because right now you’re are the only women that I care for, you’re the only one that I love,” I say now as with my hand I raise her up from the bed and give an instant kiss on her lips. Then with lots of kisses, she pulls me down kissing me I just want to make love with you.” She says. Now with my sweet child showing me the way that she has felt about me, at that very second I now feel my heart bounce fast as I receive that shiver the way that she held me. The idea that she held my cheek and kissed over and over again, the way that she shows me her love, that ion, that I feel exactly the way I think about her. A little bit later our ion, thoughts, and sharing were over that drove us to take a nap to save some strength for late at night. On the kitchen, the roses were bright and alive, but that breakfast now was cold. Nevertheless, the microwave was clean and ready, but it took care of that, making that bacon and eggs to heat up a little, after all, we need to bring back all that vitamins back, so my love sweet child and I were ready for some more later on before we say, Good night.

Chapter 19

I t’s late in the afternoon when the phone rings, and as I answer, that’s Jessica. “Hey Nathan, how’re you, have you got any plans for this weekend? She asks really excited. “No, not really, other than just hanging around and have a good weekend. “Good.” She says. “So what’re you up too?” I ask as I am wondering because that’s very seldom that I receive a call from her. “You know John at the Red Night Club,” she asks. “Yes, I do.” “I talk with him, and he’s going to let Rebeka get in there with us tonight.” “Why didn’t you talk with me about this before you did that, but before I finish my question, she asks? “What’re you her dad?” “Hey, what the hell kind of question is that?” I ask her as I get really pissed off. “I am sorry; I just thought that you were going to be ok and happy about this.” “No you know what I meant; you make it sound like I am giving her permission to go out to see an xxx movie.” “No, Nathan, when she was here with us, we talked about it, and she was very excited about it.”

“That’s alright, I am sure she will be happy to go out with all of us for a night out.” “Cool, then I’ll let everybody else know on what’s going on.” “What, they don’t know about this?” “No, I just want to surprise everybody, you know since last night.” “Yeah go ahead, you for sure surprise me.” I was going to tell her that what had happened last night was none of her business, but that would make everything even worse. I thought that I was going to take advantage of her idea and let my sweet child know that I was taking her out there with all the other guys, but for sure that was my idea but not Jessica. Then five minutes later my sweet child is back home. She was very excited when she went to do her manicure and pedicure. You know those things that the women do to make them look more beautiful than they are, and so did she. She knew how to do it herself, as well as she knew how to paint that red stripe on her long black and thin hair. When she walks in, I say. “My, my, my, where did you go to come home more beautiful then you were when you left a couple of hours ago?” I ask as I turn her around. “Oh came on, you flatter me,” she says as she hugs and kisses me over and over again. “You better save some of these kisses for tonight when we came back home early in the morning,” I say as I kiss her over and over again myself. “Are we going to one of our friend’s house parties tonight?” she asks. “No, not necessary to a house party,” “Oh,” she says as she’s looking straight into my eyes. “Tonight, our friends are going to the Red Night Club.”

“But I thought that I couldn’t go in since I am still, as she pauses, only 19.” “Don’t worry about that, because today I worked out things about your age.” “Really, are you sure?” she asks me as she starts to kiss me over and over again. “All right now this is only a one night stand, you know it’s only a couple more months before your birthday, so we’ll celebrate today.” “Oh, I love you,” Gallantly looking into my eyes. “I love you too.” I just whisper to her. I couldn’t believe myself that now I am only 30 and for one good reason feeling strong having the women that love me, and that’s there now to share her life with me. It did cross my mind when I thought about when Jessica asks me if I was her Dad, but I didn’t let it that bothers me that much. To start with that was a stupid question, but not an impossible one. Maybe a boy playing doctor with a nurse, he gets lucky and has his first ejaculation when he’s 10. However, that wasn’t me I am her husband, and Rebeka is my wife, not my daughter. Anyway, I was very cautious not to get her pregnant too soon. I could if I want to, but I wasn’t too sure that I was ready to be a father again, even that without knowing if that would be the same as I had been once only for 2 minutes would be like 50 years here on this earth. Yes time that’s all that I am thinking right now, because as far as my lovely wife on what she is looking now is what she is going to wear, painting her face, well putting her make up, I don’t know how much more gorgeous she can look to attend the Red Night Club. It’s now 8.pm when the phone rings. Usually, I don’t let it happen, but this time I made it ring 8 times before I pick it up. The main reason for that was that it went through in my mind that that would be Jessica, but much to my surprise it was Paul. “Hello,” I say. “Hey, I thought you guys were out usually I don’t do this, but I had to make sure that you guys got my message, you know I didn’t want to mess up with Sue to start with. “Sorry Paul I was kind of tied up, anyway how are you doing,”

“All right, are you guys ready for this big night?” “I guess you’ve also got the news?” I ask. “Yes Sue gave me the news as she says it got her as a surprise as well, she was surprised, but surprise. “Yes, I guess then we’re all going to that surprise party for your wife.” “Yes she should be ready by now; she’s been getting ready for the past 2 hours.” “Good because we’ll pick you guys in about 1 hour.” “Pick us up.” “Yes, Jessica also rented a Limo.” “She must know something that I don’t know.” “Anyway, we’ll be there.” “All right, we’ll see you guys later.” After a short while, the doorbell rings. Rebeka runs to the door, and as she opens it, Jessica is there in front of everybody hold her on her shoulders and ask. “Girl you are ready to have some fun because you look gorgeous.” “Thank you, you too that’s a nice dress you have on.” “Well everybody is ready to go, Nathan says as he’s staring at his sweet child without letting any word out to make everybody knows how much he feels, he cares, how astonishing she looks, and that’s the wife that almost went away. As we’re all outside the house now, Jessica runs to this big Limousine that has just arrived, and she says, “Now you guys wait right here, and I will be right back.” She gets inside that Limo and came out with two battle of champagne. “I see that you’re all pack up in there, Joel says as he takes a bottle and starts to

unplug it, as Jessica begins to do the something with the other one. “The Limousine chauffer goes in the car and come out with six just regular plain plastics glass and hand to her as he says. “Please within all respect just make this a quick one, you know, we’re on the outside.” “Don’t worry I guess we can make this a quick one,” Sue said. Paul looks at her face and throws her a silly smile. “Shut up,” she tells him giving him a kiss. “Get the glasses,” Jessica says; as she pops one of the bottles, however, I guess she must have shaken that bottle because as it pops it out, the champagne is splashing all over the place. She takes a drink straight from the bottle keeping her body away from it. “Oh no, this one cause a mess,” she says as she is now gushing straight down been careful not to let any drop fall on the white dress that she has on now. Rebeka is standing near her and Nathan, as he’s now holding two glasses on the one hand and on the other one a bottle, but Jessica on her the side handle the bottle right on her hand and say. “Here drink from the bottle; drink it up to celebrate your long night out with us.” “All right she says as she takes a sip from it being real careful not to mess up her beauty. Even though was just a sip, she started coughing but being careful not to get any on her dress. Joel now near her hand he a glass that he had filled and said. “Here just drink this from the glass as he filled it up and handle to her “Ok, I guess this is the right way to do it.” At that time how they were all holding their plastic cup and with it all fill-up, Paul says, “Here for our entire friendships, our love, for these beautiful women, and anything else that we can think now that is good to celebrate, and then we all

cheer together.” After that celebration, we were on our way to the Red Night Club, the place that’s comfortable with good music, good drink, and tasty snacks. We had a good ride on the way there, where the fun and party was going on and waiting for us for a Good night.

Chapter 20

W hen we start to walk into the entrance, Jessica is the first one in front of the line and asks Rebeka to stay right next to her. She begins to talk with this guy, that’s apparently the man that she already had work on some type of deal. “Hi Mike, how’re you are doing, this is my special friend that we talked about,” she says as she introduces Rebeka to him. “Rebeka he’s Mike, my friend, he’s a really nice guy.” She says as she pulls her in front of her holding on the back of her shoulders. “How are you? It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she says as she forwards her hand to him. Mike holds her hand and looks at her from top to bottom. He was ready to put some whip cream all over her and lick it from head to bottom. Nathan had to get in between them, as he says. “I guess you’re happy to meet my wife.” “Oh, your wife,” he says as he let her hands loose. “Yes my wife,” he says, looking straight at his face as if he’s telling him not to look at her anymore. Mike Brown was surprised but now disappointed to know that the woman that there stood in front of him was already married. On the other hand, just on the look on his face, Nathan was probably thinking about what Jessica had told him. Still, ten to one on his mind was that, if you want too, you can enjoy it, because that’s the only thing that you’re going to get from my sweet child. Rebeka is now enlightened on the inside along with all of us, the adults over 21 years old. Does that make a difference? It does, but that’s something that she’s going to have to learn as time goes by. But to me, the most important thing now

is that my sweet child has a lot of fun on this all night party with us, because I am going to make sure that she has a lot of fun with me tonight. Inside those weekend nights, there’re at least 200 hundred people. The lights were bright and colorful with the best sounds of rock and roll. We were all dancing, and I love the way to be dancing with my wife. To see her moving and fell her thin and tall body, with her black hair waving all over the place as at time to time she swings her hands to throw it behind her ears. Those ears that I love to blow, to tease and bite on the lobe to move her soft lips to mine and kiss me over and over again. To push and pull her soft body back and forward to me, to let her be kissing my lips without giving it get way making me feel like I had to move her head to mine like I was like a yo-yo. And even better when we slow dance, smelling her warm breath mixed with her perfume that would turn me on no matter what. The at least ½ hour now had gone by when we finally decide to take a break. I had to go to the bathroom. Joel in the meantime was taking with some of his friends, as Paul and Sue were now back dancing to a slow song. A few minutes later, I am back and expecting Rebeka to be at the table where she was left with Jessica, but the meal was empty. I thought that they might have gone to the ladies room as well, after all, that’s what the women do, and they never go alone. And there I was alone, relaxed enjoying my beer and that Led Zeppelin song. As then again the next one that came on was the Stairway from Heaven. Paul and Sue are back at the table as I am ready to order another beer and, I ask them. “So do you guys want another drink?” “Yes, I’ll have a beer,” Paul says and what’s Rebeka is going to do when she’s done dancing with Mike?” “What the hell are you talking about?” I ask as fast as I stood up looking for her. And there she is being hugged by him. What the fuck, I say as I walk over to the center of the dancing floor moving everybody out of my way.

I got myself next to them, and I say. “What’s going on here,” I scream. “What?” he yells. “What’s going on man?” I question him. With his look at my face, with no so many words, it’s like he’s telling me to piss off, can’t you see that I am holding this girl here. But I put a pause on that moving even as he still dares me, still holding my wife. “So what do you want to do?” I ask now looking straight at his face. “I am sorry man, I didn’t mean anything, it’s that me, Rebeka and Jessica we were all dancing together, but then when this next song came on Jessica went to get a drink or something.” Talking loud but still holding her. Oh, I hate that, but what was I supposed to do now just walk away from there and wait until that song was over? Hell no. So I look straight in his eyes and, I say. “Yeah, this song is over with you man,” I yell as I got myself in between them, hugged my wife and began to dance with her. Mike then got the message and walked away. I am holding Rebeka, but she’s not moving or dancing. “Nathan do you have to embarrass me like this?” she asks now holding me on my arms as I am the one that should be ashamed of me. “What are you talking about?” “I am sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but me, Mike and Jessica were dancing all together…I interrupted her. “Yeah, yeah, and then when that first song was over she went to get herself a drink.” “Again there you go being rude again.”

“Rebeka, maybe we better go back to the table and talk about this over there.” “Why do we have to talk about this over there with everybody else involved?” “I really don’t want to be talking with you about this thing that we can hardly hear unless we scream.” She kept looking at me as she wasn’t satisfied with that suggestion, so I thought it would be nice to calm her down. “Listen, I am sorry I really didn’t mean to embarrass you on while you were dancing in the arms of another man.” “Nathan I really…” but I didn’t let her say another word as I held her face and kept kissing her lips over and over again. As I am holding her the Stairway to Heaven is getting to its end. Everybody is dancing like crazy around us until that sound is at the end and slow down and finally stop. Now the bright lights come on, and the group goes off to take a break. Some music stays playing on the background from a record just to keep things going alive or relaxed until the group is back again on the stage. The waitress and the waiter are going around taking some drinks orders and bringing those peanuts and potato chips. The best tips that you give them the faster you get your drinks and the more peanuts and potato chips that you can eat. Now we sit there at our table and order our drinks. At our table the men are sitting on one side as the women are sitting across us, Joel, Paul and I order our beers and Sue orders for her a Margarita. Jessica is looking at Rebeka, and she says. “I guess today we’re all having Margaritas, so we have three of them.” Even if she looks young, the waitress had no reason to ask her for an ID. After all, she has to be 21 to go in to start with and, besides that I don’t think that it would be a good idea for me to question her if she should now drink anything else other then champagne. But that’s not the way that Jessica was thinking with that feeling that she already was done with the first Margarita and lots of potato chips, she says. “I will also take a double margarita and rum on the side.” We just take a look at her face, kept wondering why, but there was no question about it. But I did

wonder why. A few minutes later we had all those drinks ready with enough peanuts and potato chips. Jessica right way holds one of the shots and gives one to Rebeka and, says. “This one is for you.” She handles her. My sweet child held that shot looks at me as if that was approving to do so. She tips her tong on it and feels the flavor of that strong alcohol. Jessica, on the other hand, holds it up, cover her nose and let it go down. And she says. “Here just hold her nose and drink it, it will go down like a sip of water, and then take a sip of your Margarita.” This is the way Rebeka did eat some potato chips, lots of potato chips. I must say I knew that before long she was going to be ready to sit. I knew that wouldn’t take too long before Rebeka got dizzy. I was right because a few minutes later there she is happy and dancing. Rebeka still has this beautiful style of bouncing all over the place, but now I had to hold her in my arms because every now and then she would fall down. A good time that what we were having until it was 2 a.m. Rebeka already had drink half of her margarita, but now she couldn’t stand up more than 5 minutes up before she had to sit down or to have another sip on rest her drink. “All right now, I am going to take my last step to the bathroom that way we can get out of here and go get us some nice good steak to hold that beer, those rums, and those margaritas that they now had all mixed up.” “Nathan I don’t know if I am going to need any food to hold everything inside of me, and after a burp, Oh my God, I don’t know about this alcoholic drink.” My sweet child says. “I think that you’re going to be all right,” I say, as I look at her and laugh. “That’s not funny,” she says as she holds herself on me and keeps on kissing me saying, “I love you, I love you very much, then she opens her arms, “This much.” Then she walks away wiggling around, “I am going to the bathroom now.”

You know all I had was some beers which’s is not unusual, but this time I was going to have rum shot myself, I say to the guys I as I went to the bar, then a few minutes later when I am back everybody is back there but Rebeka. “Is she taking that long to throw up?” I ask as I laugh. I was the only one laughing, but Jessica says. “She was back, but still too excited, and just by coincidence Mike was just walking by and asks her to dance.” “Mike, I’ll be dammed,” I say as my face just go red. “What’s wrong with you?” she just wants to apologize because of your attitude from that very beginning to start with.” “Oh, don’t give me any of this shit; I looked at Mike, drooling all over my wife.” “Came on Nathan, don’t you think that you’re carrying this a little bit too far.” “No Jessica, I am not, but she’s saved by the bell as I can hear those last tunes of that song Stairway from Heaven, the song that I am going to hate every time I hear from now on. The song that I can see that idiot kiss my wife on her cheek and say thank you, or if that’s what I read from his lips that were now all over her. He walks out to the front door as she walks back to us still doing all that happy dancing, and as she gets near us, she says. “I had such a good time,” she says as he hugs me. “It looks like you were,” I say as I hug her tight. “Nathan we were just dancing,” and laugh about it. “I bet he was rubbing himself all over you.” “No, he wasn’t,’ she laughs. Jessica is looking at us and pulls me close to her and, says.

“Do you want to screw the rest of the evening, can’t you see that she is just having a good time, so don’t blow this one up.” “Ah then let’s get the hell out of here, I need a good meal, and I am sure that she needs one too.” “Sure let’s do that, I need one myself and so does everybody else.” Rebecca’s still picking the empty glasses and sipping the ice of those margaritas. I wish that we had gone to that building without having Mike Brown welcoming her in, and now he’s at the outdoors as we are ready to go out. “I hope that you guys had a good time,” he says as he only looks at my sweet child. She laughs, but Jessica says. “We all had a great time, and we’re all going to see you guys again.” Rebeka takes a quick look at her, and she says. “That sounds really good to me.” The way that I am thinking now is that you can forget about that because you are going to wait for another 2 years before you bring her back here again. As I am looking at Mike, he wouldn’t remove his eyes away from her, and my thoughts were that you can enjoy yourself with this right now because that’s the only thing that you are going to get now so just say Goodbye.

Chapter 21

I t’s now noontime as I am watching the news when I start to hear, ouch when she says. “Oh my god, what is going on, did I fall down and hit my head on the floor?” “Ha, ha, ha,” I let it out as I say. “Here I’ve got some good coffee for you.” “I can’t put anything in my stomach,” she says as she burps and says, “I am sorry.” “It’s ok my love as long as you don’t throw up again and mess up your clothes’, the limo and everything else that’s in front of you like you did last night.” “What do you mean to throw up,” she says as she’s holding a hand on a chair and the other one on her forehead. “I am so embarrassed, and it’s ok now I’ll take that coffee.” “That’s ok you don’t need to be embarrassed now, we had a good time, and some really good laughs when we were all trying to catch you on a break down lane on the high way, and laughing again looking at her face “like if we were playing tag,” and laugh again. “Stop that,” she says. “That’s ok, think as you wear it, not only once twice or every time that we caught you, and you would say. “Ok, I’ll be ok now.” But as we let you go, you start to run away again.

“No, stop that, you are lying.” “I am serious, we just had to make sure that you didn’t run to the middle of the high way and get hit by a car or worse yet an 18 wheeler, but that wouldn’t matter because the way you were, you won’t know what hit you.” “Stop talking and making fun of me, you’re lying.” “I am serious; I even got you on tape.” But then she starts to cry like a baby that just had her milk bottle taken away from her mouth when she was starving. I had to hug her and keep kissing her all over to calm her down as I say. “No, I am just kidding about this tape.” “Just about this tape?” she asks now wiping the tears off. “Yes just about the tape,” as I hug her again. “That’s ok, you’ll be all right, everybody already forgot about this, I say as I give her a coffee, “here have some coffee you’ll feel better when everybody comes by to see you later.” “How’s everybody doing?” “Ok.” “You mean I am the only one that causes all this humiliation?” “Rebeka listens, just don’t look at this as a humiliation, this was just a breakdown, sort of a club- see now you are one of us.” But then with a quick stop, I added. “Well I mean when we celebrate your 21 then you’ll be officially an adult. But she looks at me distraught as she says. “I am a teenager.”

“Oh, I know that you’re my sweet child,” I say as I hold her cheeks and kiss twice. “I know, and I love being your sweet child, but the way that you say makes me feel that I am just a kid.” “Why would you think about it that way?” “I am sorry, just forget about it, it’s that all of sudden it hit me, but it’s not important.” “Now it is,” I say as I go to refill my coffee. “No, I never meant anything for me.” “See now you got me all curious about it on what’s going on.” “No really.” “Came on now tell me your secret.” “No Nathan.” “Yes, yes, yes,” I say as I kiss her. “No, no, no,” she says back to me kissing me again. I thought that was a lot of fun as I say again. “Yes, yes, yes.” “Ok then, she says, when we were ready to leave the club last night and Mike took me to dance, he just ask me how old you’re, and I told him about you age.” “Oh.” “Oh, he just says that I am too young to be with you.” “What, well that son of a bitch,” I said aloud

“No my love, he didn’t mean anything about it.” “He’s an asshole.” “Nathan please you know I don’t like to hear when you swear, but there’s nothing that you can do about it.” But at that very second hearing that from her it seems that she was ashamed of being too young to be with me. As I look at her eyes, it made me feel like I was with someone that has her doubt about me. That’s what I had on my mind, wondering if she was the one that regrets been with someone that is that older then she is. Nathan Will stop and slap your face a couple times and came back to reality right now. And that’s what I did. “I am sorry, is that somehow that stupid kid got on the dark side of my mind and if there’s anything that… but my sweet child didn’t let me say any other words as she puts her finger in my lips for me be quiet gives me a quick kiss and ask. “See doesn’t that makes you feel better comparing your age with Mike’s?” And that again was just like an atomic bomb land that was landed on me, as I pushed her way as I ask her. “What’s wrong with you?” I ask her, now hating the way to hear her say the word, Mike. “What’s the matter?” “Mike, Mike, and Mike that’s what I keep hearing now, you comparing his age next to mine.” “No.” She yells. “Yes, that’s what you just say.” “No, no, I didn’t it mean it that way,” she says as she takes a sip on her coffee. I’m steamed, I’m heartbroken, I’m pissed off, and now I ‘am wondering what she meant by that? She knows that I’m 11 years older then she is, as I ask.

“Then what did you mean that I’m 11 years old then the you-what difference would that make if I was only 11 days, 11 hours, even 11 minutes? What difference would that make if you were 11 years older than me? Would that make a difference? Would you have married me, love me? Well, are you going to answer me?” She was quiet for a few seconds then, she says. “No, what I meant was the way that people still see me too young for you every since we meet.” “Jesus Christ Rebeka!!! I yell as I had never done before. We are now together for 5 years, and all of a sudden you have to show up and break my heart by saying that I am too old for you!!!! Never mind counting the days, or telling me exactly 11 years, congratulation, you’ve just hit the jackpot.” “Please Nathan I’m sorry, I never meant anything the way that you are looking at right now. You’re the one looking at things the wrong way.” “I still don’t know on what you meant, so tell me what you meant when you said that I am 11 years older than you.” “I don’t know, I don’t know.” She says as she starts to cry again. That crying, those tears that could break my heart, those feelings of a woman that I love could use as a weapon to melt me down as if am a piece of ice been a meltdown slowly under the sun, as she then gets up from her chair rug me, saying. “Please forgive, I never meant anything out of the way that you are looking at it,” she says as she is kissing me over and over saying that she loved me. She has loved me since the first time that saw me. After all, she thought she was never going to see me again. I am the only one that she cares about, and the only one that she’s going to spend the rest of her life. I guess that she had me convinced and maybe I was carrying things a bit too far when I thought that meant something different from what I say. But as I am accepting her apologies and seeing her reason, nevertheless all of a sudden I that before we all got ready for that night out, Jessica already was the one that had all plane, and when I questioned her why she didn’t ask me first she

asked me if I was her dad. And that was it. That had to be it. What else would it be? I did cross my mind to ask her, but then I thought if all goes right, now why get Jessica to involve on that personal conversation between my wife and me. I thought that it would be better to let the shit dry and turn to dust unless someone would mess it up and make it stink all over again. I could tell my sweet child that, I am a nigger and her dad, and that she’s my bitch, but ten to one she would be lost on that one too. Or would she? Was my wife innocent the way I thought the way she was? Was she the same that had the dinner set up on the table ready when I came home? Did I know my wife? I knew that she worked a part-time job at a childcare place and the way that she loves to do it. She usually would tell me how beautiful day she had with the babies, the kids, the playing, the caring, and the love and sharing that she had with every one of them. My wife that at times couldn’t wait until I would get home to show her new painted color fingernails, her new cloth, and shoes that she had bought that day, the news from the Hollywood Stars and all kind of other stuff that the women get their selfentertained with. And one of the most important parts of this was when she would go by brand new lingerie just to celebrate one of those days. At one time or another a special dinner at home with candles, wine, and light sounds. The one that I really love was the special dinner with pizzas been served by a garcon playing the violin along with it. How much more can I trust, love, share or not know my wife? I think that I have to let myself know how to make myself go along with the flow. \ Now one way or another, after all that argument that we had, we are now both fatigue, and that coffee is cold as well, and I say to her. “Now Rebeka why don’t you go take a shower, and then we’ll go out to eat some lunch.” “| don’t know if I want to go out to eat, I don’t know if I want to eat again.” “I don’t know if I want to eat again,” why she would say that, I ask myself. I was quiet for a second, and then I suppose. “Don’t be silly, right now that’s what you really need to finish to clean up your stomach after all that little bit of coffee that it had still sitting there.” “Oh please Nathan doesn’t do this to me,” she says as she tightly hugs and kisses me speaking.

“This is the first and the last time and I’ll ever drink again.” On my thoughts was, oh I don’t know about that my dear, but as far as I know that’s the first time that you drank alcohol or the first time that you really got smashed that you couldn’t really hang on to it. After way back then when you left me, way back then when I almost lost you, I really don’t know on what you did. But then I slapped myself and came back to the reality that I face at that point and time that was in front of me. Later on, we went out, and I had a steak, but I had to insist on Rebeka to eat at least half of that hamburger that she order to go with her salad. She was doing ok by the time when we were backing home in the afternoon. Once there, I sat on the edge of the sofa with the T.V on as she laid her beautiful round face down on my knees and stretched her thin and long body along the couch. Now there she laid the way that she’s growing to be women, but on my eyes at that particular time all I can see is a 14 years girl that I saw years ago, then seconds later my thought and my vision went way when the doorbell rings. Rebeka is like in the other world this time sleeping like a baby. I expect her to wake, but she didn’t move a blink. I released her, and when I answered the door, that’s Paul and Sue. “Hey, how’re you guys doing,” I ask as I pull them in. “What’s going on, is she ok,” Sue asks whispering as if she was walking into a hospital. “Yes she’s fine, we just came back from dinner a while ago, and she ed out there as a baby, I get her up,” I say as I start to walk her forwards. “No, no we just stopped by to see how you guys are doing,” Paul says. “Oh,” I say as I point my hand straight to the sofa looking at her face. Sue looks straight at me and says. “All right I want to see how Rebeka is doing.” “She’s fine, let me wake her up.”

“Are you sure that she’s doing all right?” Sue asks me again. “Yeah,” she has a hangover now. Paul looks at me and says. “I told her that we could call, but you know how they are.” “Yeah, I know.” “So you see her, are you happy now,” Paul says as he kisses Sue on her cheeks. “All right you guys got me, she says as she starts walking to the door. “Wait a minute she just turned around,” I say as I see her moving. “No, now we’re out of here,” Paul says. “All right, we’ll see you guys soon.” “Cool,” and as I open the door, I say Good night.

Chapter 22

I t’s Monday night when I finally got home from work after I had one hell of a day. First, it was close to 8.pm, the second I was stuck on traffic for no less than 45 minutes and third and worse because my boss didn’t get laid with his wife. I don’t know maybe she had a headache or wasn’t in the mood. Anyway, I was the one that had to pay the price. I told you, so you did that’s wrong-you better get yourself a new secretary-fix your computer, you know some of those comments that your boss tells you and sometimes you have to take without saying a word, even if you want to ask him to go screw himself. Well, he did that to me, but I hardly do that to my secretary unless making the right correction and let her know the way to do it right. On the other hand, I was happy when I walked in and had my sweet wife rug and kiss me from top to bottom even without waiting until I put my briefcase down. “Nathan I have got some good news for you.” “No way, really” I put my briefcase on top of the table, took my suit off and lose my tie. “So what’s up?” “Guess what?” You won the lottery, and now we’re millionaires.” “No, guess again.” “You jumped from an airplane but got lucky because the parachute opened 100 yards before it hit the ground.” “Oh, that’s a good guess, but guess again,” she asks. “Ah,” I am still thinking, but as she kisses me, she says.

“I’m going to College.” As I hear her saying that I don’t know if I should happy or if I should have been standing there questioning myself, as at this point and time that’s exactly what I am doing. “You’re kidding me.” “No, am serious, aren’t you happy?” she asks with a bright smile on her face. “Ah… should I be?” “Yes, I am going to take this class on a business istration, and it’s on Monday from 7 to 10.” “Really” I reply, as she’s now running to the table and taking this package of notebooks, pens and this business istration book that is big as a yellow pages book. “See that’s the first edition, and with a quick pause, she opens it and shows me page by page as she says. “See this part here will be on the first semester, and then the other six chapters will be for the second semester, and on and on. Rebeka keeps flipping page by page saying, “Oh I am so happy.” I am looking at my sweet child thinking of a word to say, but the right way, she says. “Oh, let me show you what else I have got,” she runs to the bedroom. I’m standing there within only 3 seconds to breathe because if I need 4, I will die. Rebeka runs back holding this beautiful large brand new pocketbook that’s still having the ticket price on it.” “Isn’t’ beautiful”? She asks as she lay it on the table, grabs the pens, and that humongous book, put it all inside, then hang it on her shoulder, and ask me.

“How does it look?” I want to tell her that she looks silly like 5 years old that is going on her first day to school. I want to say to her that we should have talked about it before she went to sign up for this class. I want to tell her that she didn’t have to go to college. I want to say that she that she was out of her mind to sign up for a class from 7 to 10, that was going to take her at least 1 ½ hour to drive there back and forth. I wanted to tell her “you’re not going to take night classes.” I want to say to her that she was running away from life and she needed to get over the screw up she did first last week but, then what after all kiss and makeup. If I tell her all that suddenly everything is going to go hell again, then with not a happy face I say. “Well, I can see that you are pleased and with that…” “So, aren’t you happy?” “Yes, I am happy for you.” “No, I want you to be happy for both of us.” “Yes I am, is only because of ha” and with a quick and small pause, it’s only because those are nights classes and you probably not going to be back home until 11 o’clock.” “What do you mean by that?” She asks me looking straight at my face. I knew I had to come out with a quick answer that wasn’t going to hurt her feelings, so I say. “Oh no, it’s just that I am gone be here alone way from you for at least 5 hours.” “Oh came on, don’t worry about that, it’s only one class on Friday,” and then after she says, that she started to kiss over and over again. “Pleeeease.” She says kissing me over and over again. And now for me, that sounds like she’s asking for permission for me to come home late on Friday and then again kisses me all over my face.

“Ok, I guess it’s going to be alright, I will even have dinner ready for you when you get home.” “Oh don’t worry about that.” But as I hug her and enjoy all that kissing, I release a little bit and say. “What?” But she didn’t have to go to College to see that one right way saying. “I mean you don’t eat before me, I just don’t want to get home and eat alone.” “Ah, ok.” I guess she’s already learning to be on College or is that the one that I think that I don’t know the other side or the dark side of the moon. Again here I’m feeling contrary. I think it’s going to be a good idea for me to start to think about this on the positive way, not that I need to, but maybe I’ll take a class on that same college on Friday night. Oh, I don’t know; I think that if I mention that to her, she will probably flip out. Shit, Nathan what to do, what to do? I don’t know, I think the only thing that I have to do now it’s just to sit tight and see if she’s going to get a - or an a+. “Ah, ok, she wants to hear that, and then I ask. “So what are you eating tonight?” I had laughed again. “Oh I am sorry, but I was busy all day, and I didn’t lift a finger to do anything in this house all day today.” “Oh great,” I say as I breathe in and out. “I am sorry she said, caressing my face. I will come up with something.” “Don’t worry about it; let me see what we got here on the refrigerator.” “I didn’t shop either…I’m sorry but I…

“Don’t worry I will order a pizza and It will be here in 10, 15 minutes,” she says as she kisses me. “Ah pizza again, but that’s ok don’t worry about it” I say as I open the frig again, still maybe find something other than yogurt, milk, and junk food, but all I could see there was that there were two beers left, as I grab one of them and start to drink. She is looking at me as maybe she thinks that I am crazy, but at that point and time, I guess I really need one. Usually, that’s something that I don’t do during the whole week considering that I have to go to work every day, but right then and there that’s all I need. She still looks at me, when suddenly I grab the other one open and give to her. “Here we might as well celebrate.” “Are you sure?” “Sure, why not.” She went to get a cup, and as the star to put hers on a mug, she’s leaning the mug on an angle not to create that foam. On my mind, how about that, that’s not her first beer either. And as she starts to drink it at least half of the booze went down like it was just a couple of water, leaving a little bit of foam on her lips that then she lips with her tongue like that was a wiper. I took another sip of my, that is on the can, and I say. “Here let just celebrate for another day.” She pours the rest of the beer on her cup, but this time she lets the foam glows and just sip on it. Then a few minutes later when the beer is gone, we just had some potato chips, and we say Good night.

Chapter 23

I am glad that I am having a good week every from Tuesday until Thursday night. Rebeka has been cooking some good meals, that to be honest with you at that point is I really don’t care, but the more important thing to me is that right now we are there enjoying dinner and having fun. I didn’t really care. For me, it would be okay to have boloney sandwich, pizzas or whatever was there to eat, but for both of us to be there as husband and wife to be sharing our feelings. If your boss had a bad day, if you had a bad day, the thing you like, things that I didn’t like, so on, and so forth. I must say that week, we really didn’t have anything to complain about it, but if something terrible had happened, we would share and help to fix it. Usually, she was the one that most of the time and cares to make me happy and tell me how proud she was of me been a great success on my job. I really didn’t need it, but just to hear her saying those things it just made me feel perfect. On the other hand, I would tell her how proud I was the way that she handles her job taking care of the kids and that eventually, she’s going to be very proud taking care of our own. She didn’t talk or show too much interest, so I didn’t bother her too much about it. Friday I was ready to get home at least by 6 pm, but that day I workout with my boss to leave earlier. And by the time when I arrive home it was 5:30 pm, and as I walk in the house my sweet child already was gone, with her with brand new pocketbook, her yellow pages Business istration book, her pens and her notebook. I was pissed off. Why I really don’t know, I just felt it that way after all she was not 5 years old that went to School without mom permission. What was I supposed to do? Go after her, make sure that she didn’t miss the directions to find the College and miss her first class? If she got stuck on traffic, I could get her on a helicopter and fly her there to be right at the right time on course. Ah, at least she let dinner ready all set at the table, with both plates, cups, forks, and knives, with a brand new tablecloth all set up for lunch.

Hey Nathan, guess what? Tonight when I get back home we’re going to eat this ham that is cover with pineapple- some rice- pork chop- mash potato- black beans with linguica-, and she didn’t forget some fried chicken. And for dessert we have pudding- apple pie- cheesecake- and last but not least some watermelon all sliced without any coat. And as I look at that table, all set up with flower {(not roses)(not that I care)}, but it has the candles sitting next to it, I can see that, there’s enough food there to feed a dozen people, if only for both of us, enough food for the next two weeks. Well at last until next Friday, if all the guys came over on this weekend. At least it would be a good idea to leave all that food inside of the hot stove, but that was on the top of the table for display, this is Thanksgiving, Christmas or a New Year party and now everybody is sitting down to be served and celebrate to eat all that food that was starting to get cold. It was now 10 pm when I had enough time that would take me another hour to wait until she got home, so I thought that it would be a good idea to at least heat all that food. Mind you, all of it, as I could just cut and have both plates ready to be served, but she had to be… “ha” how can I put this, maybe to get me pissed off, I don’t know, maybe, perhaps not, perhaps she had a good reason to leave before 5;30. What’s going on with me? What’s going on right now? I am all pissed off, but am I going to ruin this Friday complete? Shit, what’s going on with me? What’s going on with my wife? I think that I’ll heat this dinner and “try” to fix this weekend without messing it all up. So I turned the oven on and started to heat things up. Then 45 minutes later, where is my sweet child? 11, 11:30, then it is 1:30 on Saturday. I am sitting on the sofa all stretch when she arrived. One of my favorite comedy show (All in the family) was just started. I start to hear the door been unlock. I close my eyes as my cheerful wife walks in quietly slowly. She gets very close to my face to make sure that I am really sleeping, and I can smell all that alcohol breath coming out of through her nose. I open my eyes and look at her face as she then directly moves away from me. I am really pissed off but not showing to her right way as I get up and ask. “How are you doing?” “Oh, hi my love I am doing good, how about you?” and as she asks me, her

breath now coming out of her mouth is like an alcohol Niagara fall. “Where were you?” I ask “You know, I went to my first class,” she says as she moves her mouth away from me as I am moving forward to kiss her, not that I want to but… yes, I did, I want to (French kiss her) French kiss what the hell am I thinking? French kiss, this it for the 9* grades on the High School, I was ready to lick her lips, slob all over her tongue and ask her right way on how many shots of whiskey she had before she got home. I know for sure she had at least 2 because now for her that was a just a couple shots of tea. Where did you go for this first class? I ask. “You know the school,” she said as she moves away, further away from me. “School,” she said as I get close near to kiss her, but she moves way to get close to the oven, and asked. “Nathan, did you eat yet?” “No, I lost my appetite, wondering if you were stuck on traffic or had an accident.” I also wanted to ask her if she had dropped some of my perfume on her sheer shirt. It shows her bra, but I kept that on my mind before I was ready to talk about as I waited for her to tell me on what she was up to and waited for an answer as she came out and said. “No, everything was perfect.” “It was perfect, or all went well,” I ask as I look at her glasses eyes. “What do you mean, yes it was terrific.” She says now looking for food. I couldn’t believe myself; well I knew her condition but yet pissed off. ““Tell me, why do you ask me all that?” “Let me see, 1# I thought that you were going to College and how was your first

class- 2# if you’re only taking one class this semester, I only ask you a simple question. So the correct answer would be “was fine, great, a pain in the ass or I enjoyed it. But “that” is not a word that you can finish at the end of a sentence. 3# you also don’t finish a sentence with the word “at.” 4# Such as “What’re you looking at. 5# When you use the verb “at”, you have to follow with another verb “at this”- at that”, etc. 6# You don’t come home and try to sneak behind my back like you were going to tell me that you were home since 10:30 on the dot and I was sleeping like a baby. 7# don’t think of telling me that all this alcohol that I smell from you is that you were having as you watching me sleep. 8# It’s way past 1 now Rebeka, now just be honest with me and tell me where the fuck was you? Where, and who were you with, and most of all, don’t you dare tell me that I am not your father, because if you do you’re going to get me really pissed off. “Stop screaming, you never did this to me before, and you know how I hate when you curse.” “There’s always a first time for something.” But that was enough time for her to start crying and runway to our bedroom, as then- All in the family- show was now getting close to the end. The food again was cold; I’m hungry and furious and still had no answer, so I took a bite of the ham and went after her. “So Rebeka, where were you?” “Why you keep asking me that.” “Oh came on now after all we already went through this, when you went for that University that didn’t exist, and now for a College that’s actually there but right on your first class you came home smashed just like a kid that just graduated from it,” Came on, what do you think, I am a fool? My sweet child wipes her tears sit on the edge of the bed and start to scream. “I was out with some friend celebrating our first day in College, is there a problem with that? “Who are your friends?” “Why do you want to know?”

“Why do I want to know, you know how (jealous) what the hell kind of question is that and what’s wrong to ask you about it?” “Because,” she answers. “Because, because of what, you know that curiosity kills the cat, let me put this way, just let me say that now I am the one that’s getting paranoid on what your friends are talking about, other than our difference of age?” “And what that got to do on what I did tonight?” she asked. “How the hell I am going to know on what you did tonight, other than going celebrate your first of class at the University and then go out to a party, get smashed and keep running away from me not to check on your breath like I am a cop”? “All right then, you want to know about my new friends,” she asked. “Yes, I just like to know your friends that you went out drinking on your first class, I am sorry, you know it’s because that first time that you drank at the nightclub, and you’re complete dizzy I really worry if you get stop DUI then you’ll in trouble, I just worry about you.” “Ok then, but promise that you’ll not be mad with me,” she asks me as she held my hand. “I won’t be mad, I promise.” “You know those people that were at the nightclub?” she asks on a vase mind that left me spaced out completely. “Ok,” I say now anxious to know.” “Well it’s, Me, Debbie and Melissa we are in the same class, and with a pause and a lower her head, and also Peter, Tom, and Mike, you know Peter goes out with Debbie and Tom with Melissa, Mike was also there, and just invited me to tag along.” “Mike,” I say as I look at her.

“You know, that he doesn’t mean anything, to me, he’s just a friend, she says quietly. I am still lost as I say. “Mike, I don’t this Mike.” “You know Mike Brown, my friend that you got mad with because we dance that slow song, she pauses looked at my face with a pause, you know the sort had to hold me because I was a little bit, ha…dizzy.” “Yes I him, and without a doubt, I also recognize the day he wasn’t using any of this perfume that you have dropped all over you and your shirt right now. “What are you talking about?” She asks me as she raises her arm and takes a sniff on it, and says. “Oh this perfume, the truth is that I ran out of my perfume and used some of yours for my first class.” “Cut the shit Rebeka, I know that you have at least 20 bottles of perfumes that you I bought that one of your favorite’s ones cost 200 dollars on the size of 1.” “What difference does that makes?” “I don’t give a shit about the price.” “Then what’s point is that I would go out of my way to find those just to satisfy you with the pleasure that you like it, right now that’s not what I want to talk about it, what I really like to know is where you got this aroma that I can smell all over you right now” “Do you really want to know about this?” She asked me as she breathes in and enjoys that smell. “Yes, that’s what I want to hear about it.” She looks at my face and said. You know Nathan; I don’t think that you are going to believe if I tell you that Mike rubs this perfume on me, so I might as well tell you the truth.”

“This is only from a friend that gave me one big hug and said hello.” “Who’s this friend?” “Why do you have to know everything about my friends and me?” “That’s ok it’s just I get curious why this friend has to rub all this perfume on you just to give you a hug.” “Nathan what else do you want to know.” “Just other than the hug what else did he gave you, vice-versa.” “Nathan please he is just a friend.” “No Rebecca, I just want to know, who is this secret friend?” What else did he give you? I shout, other than just a hug, what else did you give him Rebecca, what else?” I am mad. “I already told you, 2 kisses on my cheeks and a hug and that was it.” “Two kisses and hug, please Rebecca you know I hate when you lie to me right in front of my face.” “No, I am not lying.” “That’s bullshit, and if that was it, why is your hair all mixed up, your neck was licked on and your breath other then smelling all alcoholic it also makes your lips look red like a red tomato, or whatever.” I don’t know why but at that very second I couldn’t accept, I just felt mad, anger, and hate myself. She was just standing there looking straight at my face. My heart at that very second just went haywire, I just got sick, I stood up, I wanted to punch the wall. I look at my sweet child not known if want to hit her for what she just told me. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, and all I could see was a crazy man. I lower downwash my face with cold

water, crunch my teeth, then punch that mirror, leaving the blood on it and walked to the kitchen dropping my red hand tears until I got to the refrigerator and picked up that whole 24 pack of beer. Rebeka comes running behind me. “Nathan please?” I grab my keys and walk towards the door as she says. “My love please tells me where are you going?” “Out, I just want is to be alone now.” “Nathan Please, I am sorry.” I was a man spreading blood as a track that I could say goodbye, but I just said Good night.

Chapter 24

I was exhausted after I drove all night and spent the rest of the week in New York City. By the time that I arrive back home it’s Sunday about 7 pm, and as I walk in Rebeka was sitting on the sofa, and this time now all relaxed and eating a piece of pizza. I put that full box of beer that I took with me when I left the house on the table that at this time now was warm as a coffee. “Can I have one,” she asks as she looks at me with an angry face. I don’t know on what she wants, so let’s play, I thought as I took one for her and one for me. As she opens hers it begins to splash out, but she puts it straight to her mouth and suck it in precisely the way that’s supposed to be done with a warm beer or when it’s shaken or when you drop it, and that’s what I did when I open mine as well. So now my wife at least knows how to drink a beer. Or miss drinking the beers.” “So what’s on your mind?” I ask her as we both drank, making sure that any of that soak wasn’t going to be wasted. “I figure that I am not going to put up with any more of your shit anymore,” she says as she keeps drinking her beer like it was just a glass of water. “Really, Rebeka Will, I say as I am looking straight at her face, of course now wondering with whom am I talking with, “Ok then if that’s the way that you want to be, that’s the way that’s is going to be done.” “Yeah, that’s the way that’s going to be from now on.” She says looking straight at my face, as she’s ready to start to punch. She has her gloves on but I am a man, and I am one that can hit without asking if you are prepared to fight. All you have to do is to hear the bell ring, and now the bell is on. But still, I am that kind of man that can give her another chance. I had to convince myself that,

that’s the right Rebeka that I was talking with, not someone that just had to decide to change her mind out of the blue or just had someone put her up to it, to tell me to shut up, so I say. “I don’t know, maybe you want to think a little bit on what you are talking about”? “Nathan, I know exactly what I am saying.” we’re not two strangers, don’t you think that you’re getting a little bit out of hand for taking such as decisions,” I ask her as I am now really nervous that she’s not going to change her mind, as she says. “No, Nathan there’s nothing else that I have to think about it, and from now on that’s the way that’s going to be.” “Ok then, if that’s the way you want to be, that doesn’t’ make you free as you want to be, so from now, you think that you’re a little bird that just came out of the nest and is free to fly away? No, that’s not the way that this work because until the last drop dry you will still be living under my rules, you know you are always going to be my wife whether you want or not.” “What do you mean under your rules?” She yells. “Yes Rebeka, under my rules, because now I know not only on my mind, that I didn’t want to think about it, but I had to give up. I can’t get mad or punch or the wall anymore thinking that will not solve our problems.” But my whole point on this situation now is that I am going to deal with you and know to believe or not with whom I am dealing with now it’s you Rebeka, my wife, my women, and my sweet child.” “Stop calling that, I am not you sweet child anymore. “Oh don’t worry about that, I know you are, and I see the way you’re, I know you from top to bottom. not only every millimeter of your body from head to bottom but every decimal of your mind, so if that’s the way that you want us to be now, just keep your eyes open, because my eyes are open to you.

“Really, Nathan?” she asks. “Yeas, Rebecca really, that’s a fact, just because you came out and start to be rude, out of class and diplomacy, until you gain the keys back home again you’re going to earn it.” “Well, now it looks like that you are all line up to fight.” “Yes, but don’t worry about me, you know there’s a lot that you are gone have to learn about life with me,” I am talking slowly because I can see how the other side or the simple girl and the simple women that I knew or had that feeling that she had all the always hidden and fake with me. I mean she always just want me to tell about her loving side and bright side, which is the one I knew from top to bottom and side to side, but now all of a sudden she decides to show me her evil side. The dark side of the moon that I knew that existed but I never saw until now, or wouldn’t dare trace unless she would confront me too, but she did. Well, my dear sweet child, now you mixed up the shit, so now smell the putrid odor of it. She’s looking at me now as she’s feeling sorry, maybe for me or perhaps for herself as she says. “Well we will see about that, and what your intentions with me are?” she asks as she lifts her eyebrows looking towards me. “Oh, nothing special,” I said whether you want or not you’re my wife, and I treat you as well I’ve been doing with sickness and health. “Oh, please spare me.” No” that’s the way that is,” if I have a cold, you can give me a Tylenol, for rich or poor, if I win the lottery, I can give you all the money without having to think twice, but, if you’re unfaithful to me, I am for sure going to send you to hell.” And after I am done talking with her like that, she wasn’t stunned at all as she says. “Ok, then if that’s the way you want, that’s the way it’s going to be until it comes to an end.”

I couldn’t believe, I didn’t want to think, but that was the truth nothing but the fact that there stood right in front of me exactly the way that our life was going to be now. “Goddamn Rebeka, what has happened to you?” I ask her as I took a long breath looking at her face. “You really want to know?” “It’s not very often when I say this but, yes I do.” “Ok then, take as it is, she pauses, breath in and out, its’ because I fell in love with someone else for a long time.” I didn’t know how much more I could expect and how much more I could hear my heart, my pain, my hate, not for her, but maybe for me as I am grinding my teeth, I ask. “With whom, who is he or she I add? But she was pissed with that as she says. “Don’t patronize me, I am not a lesbian, you should know better.” “Yes, of course, I know, but right now I am really pissed, and what else do you expect from me,” but who is it anyway?” “That’s really not important right now.” “Oh, don’t give me any of this shit, I just want to hear coming out of your own mouth.” “Nathan, really I don’t think that will make any difference, at least I am honest with you.” “It’s Mike, that son of a bitch from the nightclub, isn’t it?” I ask her now with that feeling of again of punching a wall or anything that’s in front of me, even my sweet child, but as I kept looking at her angry but soft face, she says, “No, Nathan maybe it can be someone that just walk by, and my stupid mind was just carried away, maybe because of the way that I am I hating myself right now, I don’t know Nathan, I just don’t know.”

“Yes, I know you, I just can’t.” “Please just give me time, just give time,” she says as this time she starts to cry but does not runs to our bedroom. I stand there again looking at her, want to hug her to caress her but I had to hold myself and hoping that she was going to give up and come clear to me, but the only thing that I could see now was a woman that I could not trust anymore. “Ok then if only time will tell, let it be it.” “Do you want another beer?” “Sure,” she says. I take one for her and open it, open, mine and drank it before she had a chance to suck the soap of hers. Then I began another one and drank again, and open another one and start to drink, and as I swallowed half of it, I had to let this burp out. Somehow I was expecting her to begin to drink her beer like that was now a drinking competition, but she didn’t accept my challenge, as she then just kept sipping on hers. I could stay there and drink the rest of that 24 pack to show that I can drink all of them in 10 minutes, but that would be a stupid way to show how much I hate her at that very second. I could smash all those beers on that table one by one and make a mess of the house, maybe I should at least that would keep her busy to clean it up, but then I am more classy, as I just look at her face and say good night. A while later she came to bed and quietly to me she says, Good night.

Chapter 25

N ow, there lay Rebeka. The women that soon every time that I lift the bed cover I could see her gorgeous and soft body just dressed in her t-shirt and this time her thin and soft panties that were like an invitation to make love. But at that time it wasn’t one, because she was lying far, far away from me. Usually, after we had an argument, we would kiss and make up, starting with her t-shirt, with the red, the blue, or the pink under were. I wouldn’t care if she had all the colors on, that way was like a rainbow of pleasure to remove every single one piece by piece, and that was ok with her with every kiss until the end of the rainbow would hit the gold box. But that night or how much night now wasn’t going to be it. How many nights now was it going to be one of those messages, don’t touch me- don’t hug me- don’t kiss me, and don’t say a word to me as much as I don’t do this thing with me anymore even more as much as I want too. When she was a teen I stayed away from her sex, but …I was a single man, and you know that boys will be boys and what your girl don’t know that will never hurt her. But now, in this case, I want to, I would, or could spread her legs, pump a couple times every now and but I don’t know if I like to do this myself. Nevertheless, she was my toy that nobody else was going to play with. I don’t need her for sex or joy. Ah, what am I talking about? That’s driving me crazy, but this something that I am gone has to learn and live with it until I find out the way that our life is going to be from now on. Now the only thing that I did was to keep track of her all that time that I could. It was now 7 am when I had to get out of bed and get ready to go back to work. As far as I can it has been a long time since I left the house without telling her to have right and wishing for her to have a beautiful day at work. But right now it’s hard even trying to get it out of my mind, when at one time or another we were both ready to go to work, still with all that sensation after been all dressed up we would get all naked and make love all over again just to star on an enjoyable day. Well to drag us all day at work, but we wouldn’t mind.

Now I am at work when I had all day to be wondering on what she’s been up to, if she was thinking about me the way that I thought about her, or if she didn’t care for that matter. Much to my surprise, by the time I walk in back home, I could smell this excellent meal, but this time for me it didn’t really matter what it was since that wasn’t set up for both of us. There weren’t any candles light up and not a bottle of wine sitting inside an ice-bucket, to move around every now and then, and there was not a wife for me to share with. Dinner was on the top of the table with only one plate. She was watching T.V and didn’t even bother to say hello the way she uses to, and as far as I concerned for me that didn’t even matter. I walk in doing my regular thing, taking my suit off and losing my tie. I want to be held, kiss her over and over again and get all those smiles of her soft face, as she would say. “Stop that you’re slobbering all over me on this side” a by saying that, it would be a message to save some of that for later. Oh, how I love or I how every husband would have, to have all that affection from their loved ones, but now that wasn’t happening the way that it used to be as dinner was set up on the table with only one plate. I guess that one of us eventually would have to say something and I think this time now is my turn, so I ask, “Aren’t you going to eat?” “No, I am all set,” she says as she kept changing channels with the remote control. “Aren’t you hungry?” “No, I had a snack here and there while I was cooking, so you go ahead and eat if you want to.” “What did you do all day other than cooking?” “You know what I do,” she says looking at my face as she’s ready to slap it. Right there and then I am ready to tell her to go to hell and flush all that food

down the toilet, but then I thought if I do that I am going to be giving up to easy just because my wife doesn’t want to eat with me anymore. “Ok then, I’ll enjoy this delicious food that you have baked because I might say it smell really good but, not as good as you do.” And as I add that, she looks at me as she ready not only to slap on my face but ready to punch it. Like always she seems very sexy no matter what. I guess that at that very second I wouldn’t mind the way she looked and especially the way she looks, particularly the way I can see, that I can compare when she was only a teen, and when I was such a gentleman then and respect her to wait to have sex until we were married. I was the one that didn’t want to have women that very same day when she left the Hospital, but then after when I was the one who tried to she had changed her mind. That did bother me, but I could wait until that great day, after all, I would be the first one to be welcome her new life by me, the real me Paul Will. Of course, I kept track since all we had was that dripping from top to bottom with each other. On the other hand, if that day that I waited for a long time to break her Virginity had gone by, I was gone have to dispose of her like she was nothing but a piece of trash. After I took a deep breath on that dinner, I ask her. “What’s this?” “Food,” she answers. “Ok, then I’ll give it a shot because I am starving.” I took the food from the table and went straight to the stove. I set it up with rice, pork chops; tender fried chicken, corn cob and some mash potato. I took it straight to the table pour some wine in a cup because there wasn’t a wine glass and had everything set up on the table. Then I walk back to the stove look around, and I say. “What was sleeping or are you hiding it from me.” “What are you talking about?” she asks still changing the channels as she couldn’t find the right movie or show to see. “Gravy,” I can’t find the gravy. “Rebeka kept looking at me as if she was ready to throw the remote control

straight at my face. “I ran out of gravy.” “What were you doing all day? I guess whatever you did you didn’t have time to go down to the store ha.” “I am not your maid.” “But you’re my wife, and other than just sitting here all day doing nothing, that’s the least that you could do.” “I had no time for that.” “What to miss some movie or that novel, ah days of our life.” “No, I don’t have my time for that.” I look straight at her face and with a sarcastic laugh, I say. Again I already mentioned for you to take an English class to start to finish that sentence with “That,” especially now that you have quit your job at the children care School.” “How do you know about that?” “I know, that, because I have my way to find out things about you.” “How dare you.” “Oh no, I was just curious.” “Nathan I wish that you were dead.” “Oh, that’s a real bad wish for, being such a nice guy.” “Just shut up and leave me alone,” she says as she then goes to the bedroom and closes the door like that’s now something new. But as I had to go after her and as I open it.

“That’s ok you don’t need to work for a living I will keep taking care of you.” “Please just leave me alone.” “All right I’ll leave you alone just keeps this door opens because I must keep in touch with you.” “Nathan I hate you.” “Ah came on now, how much can you hate me?” “What do you want to hear from me, that I hate you too?” but she was quiet, well she starts to cry. I have to say that I have been a jack ass, but I had a good reason, after all, I had no gravy to go with my mash potato, but believe or not, glad that she was having a bad night. I wasn’t going to have any good sex, but I was going to have a Good night.

Chapter 26

I think that my boss didn’t get laid last night either because the way that he walks in, he was grouchy and late for work, can you imagine that? That was fine with me, but for a lot of people, it would be a pleasure to tell him that if he was late one more time he was going to be fired. But who would dare? No one, I guess the only thing they had to do was to enjoy lunchtime that the big boss didn’t get laid last night because his wife had a headache. That the big chief wife in bed told him to go play and slap on his sausage until it would spit out on the air. One of the other guys would say that even if he splashed with the whipped cream, she would tell him that she had her period. But he wouldn’t mind showing her that, that night he was a starving vampire and was ready to lick, to melt it down her pussy and then suck it all that blood until she would come those with being laughs some other stupid jokes that enough for lunch. The other women hate to hear those jokes, especially at when they were ready to eat all that spaghetti, but that was too bad. Yes like my boss, I didn’t get laid all week either. To put the sausage it was only a joke, but my only hope was to kiss and make love with my sweet child. I don’t know, I want her to come all over me to apologize and ask me to forgive her for been a bitch all week. To tell me that I was having hallucinations that nothing had to happen all week that I was having a nightmare and all of sudden when I woke up our life had never changed. But that was not reality. It’s finally Friday. I think that my boss had one hell of a week with his wife. I mean just figure of speech, because I was the one who paid the price throughout that week myself even that day until past 7 o’clock, but then from that first second when I walk out the first thing that I ask myself was if she had gone to class that night. Oh! Who am I kidding, by this time she’s in class sitting right next to Mike and ready to ask him if 2+2 is = 4 or 5. No, now I am just an ass about that, but I am definitely thinking that they are showing each other their paperwork, or who knows what else.

Well her class now will not be over until 10, and I have enough time to be walking around that hallway and see what else is going on other than, their business class. I have seen enough on that College and went back to my car. I park 3 lines behind her car where I could see hers. When she finally got to it, she’s walking along with Mike Brown. What was he making sure that she was safe until she got into it? My heart was pumping at 100 mph when I see him actually open the door for her. She looks around as everybody else is getting into their own cars. I guess they want to do whatever, but nothing happens other than him opens the door. He got into his car that’s, of course, was parked right next to hers. If I knew that was his car, I would have given 4 flat tires and let him sit there for a while. You know how come to think of it, I don’t think that would be such a good idea because that would give her an excellent excuse to give him a ride home to make her excellent thing for the day. Nathan Will stop kidding yourself, stop making yourself crazy and now follow your sweet child to make sure that she gets home safe. But then again Mike is driving behind her. I could, I felt like bang right behind his car as an accident but… Well, I guess he got lucky with me because when we got to a double lane, he got in front of her car. I was relieved for a few seconds, but all of a sudden she gets behind him and never gets into the Highway. Ten minutes later they arrive at Bee’s Nest Bar@ Grill. They park their cars side by side and walk into the front door as fast as they could as it looks like that they had an app. with the Dr. I didn’t mind because now I know exactly where they were and under my hands and nobody was going to get away with it. A few minutes later I walk in and look around and there they were my sweet child, that stupid bum and 2 other couples that were already with some snacks on the table. The 2 guys already had their beers as the women had a Mason Sauvignon Blanc white wine that now was half full or half empty; because that’s the way it looks now as I could see that Rebeka glass was already full. And there they were the men and the women sitting in front of each other now dipping their carrot and celery on the dip while waiting for the main menu. I am quite

sure that they had left their order through their friends because one thing for sure she was already sipping on her wine. I couldn’t wait any longer to pay a visit as I walk over to their table, and staying behind and holding her shoulders, I say. “Well, well, well now isn’t this a small world, I came to see you after you left class but I couldn’t find you, I think I was a little bit late.” As I look at Mike’s face, he looks like he had just seen a ghost. As she now turned her head back to me the first thing that I did was to give her a soft and slowly kiss on her lips. Rebeka is mad and ashamed, but with a silly smile, she asks. “Nathan, what’re you doing here? I want to tell her that right now with me you aren’t going to get away with murder, but again I held her cheek kiss her back, and say. “I was going to surprise you and drive us to Canada to spend our weekend in Quebec; you know to speak some French for a change.” She looking at me as if she could hold that bottle of wine she would hit me on my head with it without thinking twice, but I kiss her again and ask. “What do you think?” “French for a change?” with a smile and looking at everybody, It even rhymes, French for a change, and how about boo I love you, and how about last night when we boo, boo and we couldn’t stop to say I love you.” I pull over a chair put at the end of the table and sit on next to her. Uneasy and looking straight at her face was like a message that I was saying, go ahead my sweet child I dare for you to cause a scene in front of all your friends, including this idiot Mike still sitting right in front of you trying to save you as his friend, as far as I know so now. “Ok you guy my name, so why don’t we introduce ourselves?

One of the guys that are sitting in front of me says. “Yes, my name is David, he points to the woman that’s in front of him, and she’s my fiancée Nicole, and by looking on his right side, he’s Brian with his fiancée Ashley, and I believe you know Mike.” I stand up, shake their hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you guys,” I say as then I look at Mike face reach for his hand and pull him up as if am saying not in so many words get your ass away from in front of my wife. “Came on Mike, why don’t we go get us some drinks now.” Then we’re going to the bar next to each other without saying a word, but once there, I mean. “So, what are you having? “I’ll have a bud.” “Why don’t you make us 4 buds, a bottle of Mason of wine and 3 double shot of White Russian?” He’s looking at me as if he’s asking me on what’re you doing now.” As I am thinking for myself, that I hope that he doesn’t ask me for an I.D or to whom I am taking all those drinks for, but I think he was going to be all right since I already had put a $20 bill tip on his tip box. Then as he’s open the bottle of the wine, I put another $10 tip on his plate, as I ask him. “Do you think you can put all that on a tray, I need to bring all this to the guys out there, you know to celebrate their bachelor party tonight?” As I say that Mike is looking at me as if am telling you to go ahead you open your mouth, and it will be a pleasure to kick your balls right now, but he kept his mouth shoot. Then after everything was done the bartender says. “That’s $38.50.” I open my wallet took another 2, $20 and say, “thanks.”

All had left on me now was my credits cards. Mike is looking at me without a word to say as he grabs the tray and we start to walk back to the table. When we got there, Brian asks. “What’re we having here?” “Today I make the order as Mike is the waiter.” Rebeka looks at my face as if she’s asking me on what the hell are you doing now as the food they already had the order arrive. There was enough food for everybody, I think they were expected to be there after all, and as it has been spread it now, I ask the waiter for another plate as now there are 7 of us. I sat across my wife this time on Mike chair that already had his meal all set up. I picked that empty chair and put away at the other edge with David, Nicole, Brian and Ashley when at that time I was the waiter making a space on the edge way, far, far away from us. I pour a little bit more wine on the cup of the ladies and a bottle of beer for David and Brian, then I put a beer for Mike and with it, I also put a shot of the White Russian and in front of me even a beer and a shot of the White Russian. There we were, the women with their wine the guys with their beer their shots and one shot that was left, that then I took it and place in front of my sweet child with her wine. “What’re you doing?” She asks. “First I must apologize for David and Brian for not bringing them one of those shots, but this particular one is to celebrate that night when he meets Rebeka at the red barn club, after all, he was working and only had a chance to dance with her one time, oh! Maybe I shouldn’t bring this up, I had to go to the bathroom for a second, and we were all taking a break at the same time.” I look at his face as at that very second I could smash that glass on his face. I had to control myself. I had to restrain myself of all that jealousy that I was feeling just by looking at that man face. So it seems like everybody hoping that I wouldn’t lose control of myself. “In any case now, Brian, David, should I go get you guys one of those shoots too?

They both look at me. “No, we’re good.” They both say. Then I pick the one that’s in front of my sweet child hand it to her, I stood up and everybody else but Rebeka. Came on my love let’s celebrate our 3 years of marriage as well today. I blinded and kept looking at her and Mike. He drinks his shot and put it down, but Rebeka kept looking at hers. “Came on now my sweet child, let’s celebrate.” “Nathan please.” She says, but then she also stands up holding her glass of wine. “What’s the matter?” “You know that I like our privacy.” “What, you know that you’re my sweet child.” Nicole looks at both of us and says. “I think that’s really cute.” “Thank you, Nicole,” I say as I then take the glass of wine from Rebeka’s hand and give her the White Russian. “Here let’s celebrate with this one, Mike already drank his shoot without waiting for everybody. “I guess he’s in a hurry.” Mike’s looking at my face as if he would shoot me and then fills his empty shoots glass with wine and says. “Yes, I think I was a bit impulsive for this celebration.” “Came on now Rebeka, yes you guys that’s exactly what I call her, my sweet child, I know that you guys look stunned every since that you heard that she’s my wife, that I am older then she is, and she doesn’t have her wedding ring on.” As everybody is looking at her glass still full, Nicole says.

“That’s really surprising Rebeka, I mean, I just thought you were friend with Mike after all you have only been here with us when you’re with him.” Well then let’s salute to that, you know we have now been holding this drinks here up for a few minutes now. Then Rebeka swallows that white Russian like it was just a sip of water. We all put our glass on the table and sit. Now let’s all eat, she says, because now I am starving.” She’s looking at my face as if she’s telling me that she’s ready to poke me with a knife or with a fork right into my eyes. I am looking at her now than reaching for her cheek and kiss her very softly. “Yes, let’s eat.” “Yes, let’s eat,” like you say every now and then, “Now I could eat a horse.” After a while, she orders another white Russian for both of us. She was all happy and was now starting to talk really loud. Nobody care, but we until it was time leave. Once outside, we were all concern about her to drive. I was all right to operate with only a couple of drinks. Mike wasn’t really drunk, but it did tempt me to call the police at that very second that he left the restaurant then again I thought twice. What if he gets caught and loses his license? Whom would he call for a ride to College, my sweet child? Again I was just over thinking. I don’t know one thing that I had to think at that point and time was to drive my sweet child on our home sweet home. I didn’t have to worry too much about that, because she walks right to my car, I mean she was completely smashed and going home happy. To be honest with you I am really not entirely sure that she couldn’t drive her car just with those two shots; maybe she could or would, but perhaps just want me to drive and be caught by the police. I really don’t know if that was me thinking again, or if that was her wish. Then still that was probably me thinking the wrong way, but one thing for sure, I just didn’t trust her anymore. Finally, we made it at home, and as soon as we walk in, she undresses and, says.

“Come with me my love, I want to make some ionate love with you like we never done before.” Ah, shit do I really want to do this?” What the hell. Did she really mean that, but whatever it is, this is going to happen tonight? Who knows maybe in the morning she’ll say good morning, or who knows maybe she’ll say Goodbye

Chapter 27

I ts 9 am when I am watching the news and having a coffee when the phone rings, and I answer It’s Sue. “Hey, Nathan how’re you.” “I’m doing ok.” “Good, much better now since I finally got a hold of you.” “How’s Rebeka.” “She’s all right too.” “Came on now really, what’s going on?” “You know Sue, to be honest with you I really don’t know on what’s going on?” “Why.” “Because, ha, I pause, my wife, the Rebeka I know or I knew is now a completely different woman.” “What do you mean different?” “I mean, different, she’s the other side of the black moon or the other side that I never knew.” “I still don’t know on what you’re talking about?” “Exactly, and I don’t know what to tell you or explain to you the way that she and I are now two different people.” “Why?”

“You know Sue, we can stay here and question each other all day long, and I can never find an answer to give you that will make you happy, I mean our life has changed.” “Jesus Nathan there must be something that I know that can get you guys straight up.” “I know you very well and how you can and help to straighten things up, but this time the only thing that you can do is to lay back, relax and wait until life takes its own way, you know what I am saying?” “I know what you’re saying right now, but you know the way I am, I have to get things straight or broken, you know it’s no good just to be bent.” “I know, but right now this is something that I am the one that’s gone have to take care of it.” There was a pause between us, and then she says. “Nathan, I hope that you really don’t get angry with me, I have been an ass, but I must say that my friends Nicole and Ashley talked about you guys last night, that’s why I really had to talk with you.” “So please Nathan don’t be mad with me, because on what we talk about last night I really have to hear from you on exactly went on, you know nothing but the truth.” And before Sue says another word I say,” “Shit Sue, why didn’t you just come out straight from the beginning when we say hello how are you and tell me about this whole story that’s going on other then been playing inspector gadget with me?’ “I am sorry Nathan, and I mean it.” “I’m sorry Nathan, I’m sorry Nathan is that the only thing that you are going to keep saying now?” “Nathan let’s cut this shit now and not go around with this anymore.” “Yeah you’re right because to be honest with you I really don’t know on what to do with it myself, but why do you ask me and what you talk with your friends about?” “What went on last night, they are my friends, but you know that within both of

us were really close and special friends.” “Yes, of course, you know that, so don’t worry about it.” ‘So are you guys going to be all right?” “Yes, as a matter of fact, last night we made love, I don’t know if that was just to make love and then this morning just to dispose of me.” “Came on Nathan, I think that you’re overthinking.” “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you relax a little, maybe she’ll open herself with me a little bit, and if she does I’ll keep in touch with you, all right.” “Cool, I am sure that I can count on you.” “But still keep an eye on Jessica. I really hate to say that, but if she finds out that’s the way that I feel right now then things are going to be a screw up with us, and I am going to hate myself about it.” “Oh don’t worry about it.” “Are you guys doing anything tonight, I mean have you thought about anything?” “No, of course, other than keep her away from Mike, that mother fucker.” “Don’t worry about that. If it’s ok with you, I will try to get us together tonight at your house, you know the only thing that Paul tells me that he misses us he likes things about it always been quiet, when as far as Joel he lose eating a whole pizza by himself. “I am sure that we will be home tonight.” “All right then we’ll see you.” “Ok.” I hear some noise come out of the bedroom.

“She’s up now, and I will wait for you guys later.” “Ok Nathan, just sit tight.” Then we hang up. Rebeka get up, and asks, “Who was that my love.” On my mind (who was that my love), well it looks like that we had some progress last night because if I am correct, that was one of the first time since I can that she refer or ask me something other than “who was that Nathan.” I mean when we’re making love, that my love, I love you, and all that other ion language that just comes out with thinking about it. I mean something that comes out of the system as every move that moves on, in or out, and every other way. Last night she was a complete wild woman, and there was no time to talk. But now she was awake and knew precisely where and with whom she was. Was she lying? Or was she still drunk? That was Sue; she been kind worried .” I answer. “What do you mean worrying ,” now kiss me. “Oh, nothing serious it’s just because we haven’t got together.” “Maybe we should because I miss them.” “Good I am glad to hear that because she says if she can she will get the hold of Joel and Jessica and they will stop by later on tonight,” I kept looking at her face, “is that going to be ok with you? “Yes that’ll be great,” she says as she kisses me again. “Ok, that’s good.” “Good.” “Are you going to take a shower now?” I ask her as I thought that maybe I should kiss her, but I just let it slide.

“No, I am thinking of taking a bath.” “Yes, that’s good, I’ll turn the water on,” I say as I walk to the bathroom and turn the water on. She sits on the sofa. I got myself another coffee and ask, “Would you like a coffee?” “Sure I like that White Russian, I just shouldn’t have mixed it up with that wine, because that really mess me up.” Well, I guess she didn’t forget about that White Russian and that wine, I think that’s the only thing that she re. “You’ll be all right after that bath and some food.” She looks at me as if she was saying, if you were right next to me right now I would slob myself all over you, I could do it myself, but I mean. “Let me check your water.” I went to the tub, and it’s full enough for her to go in. I wish I had some aroma bath bubble, but all I had enough shampoo that was enough to make enough bubble to cover her whole sweet body. That body that was soft, gentle as the first time ever since she was 14. That body that I lick and suck like a lollipop giving her all the pleasure that she never had before and then every now and then would go out pay for the body of a tramp to pay for the price that she was missing. “It’s ready,” I say as I speak from the bathroom. She comes in, and I undress her pulling her underwear down and her t-shirt up. She was delighted and happy with it, as she let a shy smile come out. She starts to put her right foot as it’s a bit hot and then the left on it. “Is so hot,” she says dipping in slowly. “Don’t worry once you are in this is going to be like a suntan.” Her body is covered except her shoulders. I gently start to raise the water on inch by inch until her body is completely covered. She’s enjoying all the rubbing that I am doing on her shoulder like she was a

newborn baby. I don’t if I only had on my mind, but I could feel that she felt that I would wash her breast, but I wasn’t getting soft, no seen it but still looking at a woman that belongs to me and nobody else was going to touch it. I wish that I could slap myself and come back or fell the same way that I felt when the first time that I first saw and had to keep my mouth feel shut. I let her sit there for a while. Every now and then would go back in to turn the hot water to raise the temperature. After a while, she finally decides to say that she had enough and was ready to come out, “My love, I think I am prepared to come out. “Ok, in the meantime I’ll make us some breakfast.” “It sounds goods to me but I think that we are all out of eggs, I am sorry.” “Don’t be silly, do you want to dress up to go to the restaurant for some breakfast or do you want to stay home, eating, reading, watching T.V, is up to you. “I don’t know I leave it up to you,” she says as he reaches up and kisses me. “Ok then I’ll go down there, and we’ll hang around the house all day.” “Ok then you go ahead, and I’ll be ready in a minute.” “Ok.” She says as she gets up letting all the shampoo run down, and with all the one that isn’t she slide her hands from the top of her neck, through her arms, then her breast, her sides, and down to her legs and what the hell am I there for other than handle her the towel. What’s wrong with me, I thought for a second, but there’s nothing wrong with me. If I want I could slide my hands up and down her lovely body like I was on a roller coast. I was tempted but then again on my mind I just let it slide off of my mind, but this time I kissed and went out. Driving to that restaurant instead of having my mind on what I was going to order for breakfast, I was thinking if she was now drying her hair with only her red panties on, or if she was still naked talking with Mike on the phone asking him if he had a good time last night. Maybe even now telling him that she just

took a long bath and dried herself up, but only by talking with him now she’s getting all wet. Shit Nathan, slap yourself a couple times and think on what you’re going to order for this breakfast. Not too long went by, when I finally walk back home and there she is, this beautiful woman all dried with her long hair that smell so good that I could feel that aroma as far, far away from her. She didn’t have her red panties on, even better she had the light pink, one of my favorite. Oh who am I kidding, there was no favorite one. I love everyone then. That was just to open the window until I pulled it out and took that first smell off, of it that was an invitation as it came on in my love because I’m all yours even better, on with her white transparent pajamas and her sheer white t-shirt. Well, the special white t-shirt that I got her on Valentine’s Day. I love it because it was crystal clear that after all that bubble bath the nipple on her breast would be like two little knobs that would only relax after I would calm it down. That’s what I want to do. To tell her to come here my sweet child before we eat, let me calm you down and enjoy for break feast before I eat all this sausage and eggs, and then we can eat the toast, to celebrate to another lovemaking that we made. Lose it up, relax, enjoy eating your breakfast other then been getting a hard on every time when that sip of Aunt Jemima goes on her lips, and she has to lick it up herself. If I want to, I could treat her like a baby and tell her to open your mouth because here comes the airplane and then let all that syrup all over her lips and to clean it up it would be with my lips licking over and over again. She would love to bring those old days when she was still pure, and the only thing that l could do was to give her showers of honey, whippy cream, and banana cream pie, and any other thing that I could come up with to lick and suck her like ice cream. But when it was time to crumb that ice cream, then would be time for her cry or some other shitty kind of excuse to hold for the right time. After a while, for me, it was time for a cold shower or an argument, but usually, I made the correct decisions to be ready for the next time to play with my sweet child. But I guess at that point and time the only choice that I was making was to eat that breakfast, and the only thing to keep on my mind that was hot was my coffee. It is now 8 pm when Paul, Sue, Joel, and Jessica show up. We were all happy to

see each other. Sue and I sort of a special smile that made us happy as we were both there waiting for a Dr. App that could not miss no matter what. There was a lot of, hey how are you, where have you been lately, you know we can’t find you guys anymore? You know all that chitchat that goes on. I thought that was going to be a night that was going to 1000 question asked and 999 with an answer. We had a good time after we had the pizza order came in, and now instead of having the T.V on, the stereo was blasting that rock and roll like we were at the nightclub. Paul and Joel were drinking their beer and much to my surprise that also included Jessica. I knew that she didn’t like it because she had to cover her mouth and excuse herself after every sip that she took there was a burp to come out. I kept the stereo loud enough and only knew about her burps after she covers her mouth without any excuses. The only reason that I was looking forward to getting through was when I would step out to the patio with Sue for some fresh air, but my message to tag along was to chat with her. That would work out but needless to say, it would be only for a few minutes when Jessica or Rebeka would walk out just to see or ask how we were doing. Other than that, I must say that we were having a perfect time until we realize it was it was close to 2 am. That case 24 was done, as well as all the pizzas. There was still enough soda to go around, but I don’t think my sweet child, my wife, my women take your pick because she was starting to measure that extra ¼ of an inch that would complain that she had gained some weight. The empty cans and the empty boxes of pizzas were throwing away. The place was spotless and then was time to say good night. After we did all that Sue was the last one that walks out the door, and as I tap on her shoulder, she says. That was a lot better than telling her Goodbye.

Chapter 28

S unday went by fast. Rebeka spent all day cooking as I had to work on. It’s about 7 pm when the phone rings, Rebeka answer and after a few seconds listening, she says. “My love, this is Jessica, she wants to know if we like to go out to see a movie?” “I am all set, I am just gone relax until the end of the day, you know I need to be ready to go work tomorrow, but if you want to, go ahead.” “Oh no, my love I’ll stay here with you.” still blocking the speaker sound. How about that now I thought, now she refers to me as my love not just a plain Nathan, that one that she calls me every since the first time we meet. But she releases her hand and says to Jessica. “Ah, no thank it’s really nice for you to call, but tonight Nathan is exhausted from all that work that he brought home, maybe we can make some plans for next week ok.” “Rebeka if you want you to go ahead, I am just going to relax,” Nathan says. No, no my love that’s ok I am just going to stay here with you.” Rebeka wants me the only one to listen when she was talking with me as every time that she asks for an opinion Rebeka would cover the phone with her hand, I don’t know maybe to keep us a secret that she was calling me my love. Maybe we could go out to see a movie as I am packing the documents that I worked on as she came behind me and started to massage my shoulders. That was nice of her, and I didn’t complain because that was something that I enjoy. “Can I get you something for you to eat?” she asks me as she kisses me on my

neck. “No I am all set, I hate to eat late at night, I am afraid when I do I have nightmares.” “I can give you sweet dreams tonight,” Rebeka says she keeps kissing me behind my neck and keep going around until she sits on my legs and starts with that yoyo kissing that even if I didn’t want to, there was no way to say no. In the morning I am dragging my ass off to work, but I guess it was worth in a way because my boss as the second General was dragging himself as well, with a very happy and individual even more comfortable because I had finished all the work on the weekend at home. My crew and I kept him really happy all week keeping up with all the work right in time for the whole week. It’s Friday, and much to my surprise is Rebeka calls me at work. Is she now checking out on me?” That’s something that very seldom would happen, and when I answer. “Hello, Hi, my love.” She says “Hi Rebeka, what’s up, are you alright?” “Yes I am ok, but I am having a problem with my car, can you bring me to College tonight?” “Well how about that I thought.” “What’s the matter?” “Believe or not I was going out to get some grave, but I couldn’t get my car to start.” “Did you call AAA?” “Oh no, I should have done that, but I didn’t think about it.” “Call AAA, maybe all you need is to jump start.”

“Yes maybe that’s it, but when I am out of class I might have the same problem, and I don’t want to call them again, that’s embarrassing.” “That’s not embarrassing, don’t worry they won’t send the same guy to help you again if that’s the problem.” “But I can’t do that I don’t want to do that.” She says as she starts to cry. I could tell her to ask Just for the hell of it, I said “Tell Mike to give her a ride home,” but that would be just to dare and see on what she had to say, but then why mess up with the shit that already stinks, “I’ll try but, 10 to 1 am not going to be able to, you know it’s one of those Friday when my boss has been a bitch.” I have been such a liar because at that particular day he was happy. “In any case, if I don’t call you back, you take a taxi, and I will pick you up, ok.” “Are you sure?” “Yes I am sure, don’t you worry, just go enjoy your class, and I will be there as soon as you walk out.” “Ok my love, I’ll be waiting for you.” She says still sobbing. It was 6 pm when I left work. I could come out earlier, but I thought it would be easier to finish the job that I had to do instead of bringing it home and spend too much time on it, maybe I would even go to see a movie with everybody else. After that, I went to the bar near the building to hang out with my co-workers. Now I am at the College at 9:30 and saw Mike car there. I was tempted to put a flat tire on it like I was a teenager again. That thought only came on the other day just because I was really pissed with him, but now I am thinking the way that I should do in the first place not to be on the blue like a little girl trying not to get in trouble. I am inside the College and now waiting right outside the class that Rebeka was in. Finally, as a quick beep went on and was the end of the course. As Rebecca

comes out of the level, she sees me and runs to me. “Oh my love I am so happy that you came, I was so nervous.” “I told you not to worry about it that I was going to be here, ,” I say as I kiss her as soon as Mike comes out behind 3 other guys. “Hey, how are you doing?” He asks. I just wave my hand embrace Rebeka and start to the walkway. He es us like he was really trying getting away with murder. My wife has this bright smile as she held me like she’s never going to let me go, and she also has her wedding ring on, this time really shine. Some people are looking at her like they think that we just had got married. I was driving on my way going towards to the High mode, but before I forwards to it I turn left and start to go forward to the Bee’s Nets Bar @ Grill. Rebeka suddenly looks at me and ask. “My love, where are we going?” “We’re going to that Bar and Grill that we were last week.” “Why.” “I like their food, and right now I need to eat.” “Why that place?” “Why not, looking straight at her face I asked.” “I really want to go eat somewhere else.” “That’s ok Sue and Jessica are thee and waiting for us.” “I never knew that they knew about that place.” “Yes, Sue and I talked about it this place and just so happen that Nicole and Ashley are their friends and they are there now waiting for us.”

“That’s a big surprise for me,” she says for a few seconds that maybe I was just as she opens a crack of the window. “What’s the matter?” “Nothing, I just want to catch some fresh air,” she says as she leans over to the window and stays quiet looking outside. It’s at least 30 degrees after all that 12 inches of snow had fallen just 2 days ago. The hollow trees were utterly full of snow that made it very beautiful, but the side of the road was a mess after the storm plowed had run through it. Clean on the top but dirt on the bottom. I thought about, maybe she was clean thoroughly, but why did she have to come late or go to a party every Friday with Mike and their friends? Was I just being too jealous and making an adverse judgment, if so I had a good reason to, because why did she had to lie to me every time that she came home she tried to sneak in the house and hope that I would be sleeping? I don’t know. Anyway a while later we arrive at the Bar, and when we walk in at this long table, David is sitting across from Nicole, Brian across Ashley and Sue across Jessica with another two empty chairs that are all set up. But this time is for my wife and me, or should I say, my sweet child, I think so because for a few seconds that’s the way I felt that I was getting her back to trust. All friends and the one today may be forced to say. I love you, did I meant that? Yes, I think I did, but I think that we were there on another situation just a week ago. Maybe I was the one that was carry on our life to tough with my sweet child, perhaps she still naïve, maybe is the other one that convinced her to look to the other side just because of my age. But at this point and time, it just doesn’t make any sense. For me, it doesn’t make any sense, since I was 26 and she was 14. I could have had sex with her, I could have married her. I could have done anything I want, but I am a fair man, and it would be unfair to steal her young life, but that’s the way that she was created by God and I gave her credit to respect her wishes up to one point. But now in this life that does not gives a shit as long as she’s there for me to penetrate her vagina make love or have my erections just for the hell of it. But for me, my sweet child was for me and only for me and not to share. End of story. Now it’s time to eat because after 2 beers that I already had my stomach is roaring and asking me to feed him.

We already had 3 bottle of wine that was at the table. When Jessica got to Rebeka glass, she put her hand on top of it, and she says. “No, I am all set with this I already have my soda here in front of me.” “Are you sure”? Ashley asks. “Yes, I am sure. Don’t worry about it.” “Ok then,” She says as she’s done with everybody else surprise.” Minutes later the waitress comes to take the orders. David and Brian already had their beer, and I order mine. But much to my surprise Mike comes holding a tray with 3 White Russians and 2 beers. He pulls a chair and sits at the end of the table and close to me and come to my wife, he says. “Here Tom today you can take your beer and sit at the end of the table, because today I sitting here close to Rebeka,” and he takes a White Russian put in front of me, one in front of Rebeka and the other in front of him… He has his bodyguard hat is 6.3” tall with nothing but muscle stay next to him. David stands up. “Mike today you cool off man, you were not invited to hang around here man.” Everybody is now looking at us now having that upsetting discussion. “You know today I invited my bodyguard here to enjoy this dinner here with his wife, and you really shouldn’t be here now.” “Well, today I am with my friend here to enjoy my dinner with Rebeka.” The women are now shaking now looking at Brian who also now stands up. “Came on Mike just relax and take your drinks back there too the bar.” His bully body is now standing next to him. “So my dear friend Rebeka, are you going to drink our White Russian? He asks as he takes one of those drinks and hands the other one to Rebeka.

Rebeka is now crying. I am nervous now staring at him and his bodyguard. I stand up myself, but his bodyguard Tom put both hands on my shoulder and push me down to the chair, and that’s all it took as I pushed my chair back and stood up in front of him. Everybody then is panic and moving away from us. His bully friend is now coming toward me and swings a punch straight to my face. I turn my head way, and when he’s 4 feet away from me I lift my hand, and with my right side 2 fingers, I poke right into his eyes. He put both hands on his face and start to rub his eyes. While he was doing that, I kick his balls so hard that he goes down looking like a tomato that was just smashed. Mike looks at him and looks at me. I thought that enormous bodyguard saw enough but was not happy. He turns himself to me and punches me on the side of my face I wasn’t pleased about it myself when he came back to hit me again I punch him straight in his left eye. He goes down as well right next to his bodyguard that was still holding his balls. We were clear from the tables, so there was no mess caused inside the Bee’s Bar @ grill, but nobody was happy there but me. My wife there is crying like a baby, on which a way I love to see and somehow missed and was now ready to console her. We’re all outside now except Mike and his bodyguard. Sue, Jessica, Nicole, and Ashley are still trying to calm down Rebeka, as Brian asks me. “Nathan my man, you were awesome in there, what are you superman, a street fighter?” “No, Brian I am black belt karate. Sue and Jessica hear as I say but Jessica asks me the right way.’ “My goodness how come we never knew about it?” “You know my friends there’s a lot of things that you don’t know about me,” I say as I move my head a little bit way. But she insists, she comes back to me. “Like what?’ “What do you mean like what?”

“Like karate for an instant.” “Ok like Karate, a long time ago when I was back in England that was one of the things that I was doing with my life.” “What else,” she asks me now strangely enough without even thinking on what was happening at that point and time. “Well, there are some other goods and bad things, you know regular life.” “Like what,” she repeats?” But Jessica turns to her to catch, her attention. “Jessica come back to this earth, can’t you see what’s going on around here.” “Yes, yes, ok.” In the meantime Nicole and Ashley still taking care of Rebeka, I was going to get near her to take care of her, but as soon as I am moving towards her, I hear. “I am going to kill you, you son of a bitch,” Mike comes out screaming holding a baseball bat, I couldn’t believe myself where he got it, but one thing for sure he wasn’t going to hit a ball. Sue gets close to Rebeka; he’s still swinging that baseball bat like crazy. I quickly turn back to him, but he swings it across my arm. I felt that terrible pain and right way, and as I touch it, I could think that it was broken. I rub it, now I find out that it was already starting to swell up. David tries to get in front of him, but Mike kept swings. This time I got near him, and rhythm that bat again es my body just that quick second again with all my pleasure I punch him right on his nose. The blood starts to come down now like as I can see it twisted to the side. I broke his nose, what else can I brake on this idiot now?” I could start to swing my kicks and break every bone on his body, but I was feeling sorry for him. I back up and show him on what I could do to him, all the kicks and the punches that I could ruin, but he was useless as he still swinging

that bath on me. At that time I just hate his face, I hate that man. Still coming towards me like a stupid kid. I held my right arm against my body, step on his foot to keep him from going away while I keep slapping his face like his a punching bag. David this time pull my way from him, as Brian had already got that baseball bat and throw it far away from parking lot. “Come on you guys let’s get out of here, I am surprised that the police is not here yet.” Mike nose blood has now splashed all over the place, as now he holds it and with his sweater that it’s a mess. Rebeka is calm down when she see Mikes conditions and runs to him desperately. She says, “Mike, Mike, are you all right?” she asks him as she removes his sweater from his face, and when Rebeka sees his nose broken, she looks at me, and ask. “Why did you have to do this to him?” “Did you see my arm?” I ask her as I show her that the bone is broken in two pieces?” She looks at it but doesn’t say anything as she lifts his shirt and slowly wipes from his face. Mike move his face way with agony. “I am sorry,” she says as she moves his head back. “Here this is me,” she says as she lifts his big coat and tries to wipe his blood, but this time he doesn’t refuse to accept it. “I am sorry, I am sorry, don’t worry you will be ok.” As am watching all that shit that’s happening when I decided to get near them and ask. “Is he going to be all right?”

“I don’t know I am just checking his nose, can’t you see all this blood?” “Don’t you think that you should check something else other than just his blood?” My life, my nervous, and my crunchy teeth were only released when I had to speak. “Nathan can’t wait you see that he’s hurting,” she asks as she still cleaning his nose like was a Niagara Falls, so I say. “Why don’t you kiss his nose?” “Nathan, please.” She says “I see I am no longer, your love now I am back just to be just Nathan, where as a matter of fact I knew that wasn’t going to last.” “Rebeka, can’t you see what Nathan is doing?” Sue asks her. But she doesn’t respond, although she insists as she says. “Came on Rebeka let’s go home his friend Tom will come to help him.” “I don’t know.” She says still holding Mike and trying to touch his nose. “Why don’t you kiss his boo-boo, maybe he’ll feel better?” “Nathan please doesn’t say that.” “Did you kiss his lips yet?” “Nathan pleases.” “You probably already kiss his dick and fucked him, didn’t you.” “Nathan please, I am begging you.” “Oh Rebecca, cut that shit, I hate him, and I hate her, and I hate the world, to be going through all that pain

on my heart other than all that pain on my arm. But Rebeka couldn’t see that as she still standing in front of Mike trying to clean his nose. I move her away from him with my left arm as I say looking at his face. “Here let’s keep her eyes away from your discussing face.” I held Mike on his shoulder and kicked him on his balls hard as I never thought I would do to anybody. He just went down as Rebeka scream and went down to help him. I held her beautiful soft long hair; pull her up, look at her face as I say, Goodbye.

Chapter 29

I want to hit, to fight Rebeka, I want to kiss her. I want to have sex right there and then to show everybody who was in charge. But what good would that do? I don’t know. More ate, more wonder, the last day of my life? Yes, that’s what my life was now all about now. Things never went right to lie. However, the only thing that I had to worry now was to have my arm been fixed. Two hours had gone by when I came out of the Hospital. At least I was sort of happy to go out of there with that white letter (L) that now I was going to carry for the next 3 months. Still, I was okay because my next step was soon to get to the Mass Pike on the way to New York City. I didn’t have a 24 pack of beer on a paper bag and on the back seat which was the way that I usually do. First, I pour one beer on a coke can so that way I could drink it without having worry to be caught by any police to pull me over. I could do just by holding the driving wheel with my knees, but at that time that was the only solution that I had like the good old days. My next stop now was to a liquor store, and as soon as I walk into the one, I knew where it was and exactly where to get one of my favorite whiskey bottles. Crown Royal, I must say that it has been a long time since I had my last shot of crown royal and beer on a trip to New York. I know that by drinking 2 shot and 6 beers makes me drunk enough to see double yellow lines on the Highway or any other street for that matter, but to be back to a regular driver all I need is some marijuana where on its effect will bring me back to be a standard driver. A really cool driver whereby putting my car on cruise control and enjoy the ride as instead that feeling of the vehicle moving on the Highway, other than feeling the car just standing there and the Highway running under it. Yes, Marijuana. Now talking about 2 shot and beers 6 beers, let me also tell you about my 2 red

strips on black belt karate, that’s another part of my life that now my friends knows about it. Besides that what difference would that make for me to bring my life back from England from a few years ago? Now come to think of it, it will since my life now is completely screw up again. Boston, China town, that’s the place that I had to go to get some marijuana. I don’t know if I was going to see some of the guys that I use to get my marijuana from a few years ago when I was a freshman at the Boston University but the Chinese guys that I knew had gone way. Now my second step that I had to go was Dorchester to look for some of my personal niggers and found that they had some pot. The niggers that knew about me, but every time that I had to go there I had to get into a fight or pay some extra money as if that was a ticket to come into a party without an invitation. It was past 3 am when I was at the place where I use to meet the guys to do my deals, that wasn’t a good idea, but it was the only one that I had were most of them were sleeping. I was lucky enough to see a couple of them hanging around that I stop for information or any deals. They were big, but that didn’t bother me, because want or not I was ready to kick some ass besides that nobody was going to take my $30,000 Rolex that I didn’t bother to hide before I got there and right way I asked. “Hey, what’s up, am looking for some drugs.” I asked as I them as I stop my car next to them. “Get the fuck out of the car,” he says as he pulls out his Smith & Wesson Semiautomatic handgun with 10 bullets on it, tly precisely on my head. “Ah shit,” I say as I open the door and step out. “You know what time it is.” He says looking at my watch. That other dude looking at him says. “D.J still with that Smith & Wesson pointed on my head, as the other guy take hold of my hand and tell him. “D.J takes this Rolex is my now.” He says he laughs.

I am pissed off already because he had that gun on my head as is said. “Man you’re going to beat the shit out me man to have this one.” He points the gun right in front of my face and says. “Mother fucker you know that I can blow your head right now.” And that’s what I hoping that he would do, to get that close to me with that gun that was close enough for me to get the holding off his hand and point it direct to his face. “Oh, oh, oh man chill out, chill out.” He says as he waves his hands back out. “Man I am just looking for some drugs, not a fight.” I pulled 8 bullets off his gun, put on my pocket, and say. “All right now, I am looking for J.J.” So let’s take a ride with me down to his place.

“You get these back after you get me to J.J,” I say as I kicked my foot off the ground high enough and keep swinging like it’s a car window wiper. “All right, all right, chill out dude.” I wasn’t surprised that this guy J.J stills the primary drug dealer of the hood “Cool you guys do that, and you get paid off, other than my watch.” “All right man, just chill out.” He says as I get back up in the car and open the other door, and they come in. And off we’re going around the ghetto neighborhood for 15 minutes until we get to J.J house. I had to follow his direction to J.J house. Once because he had moved from the last time that I dealt with him a long time ago. After we’re at his place, one of the dudes start to bang on his door, but that wasn’t a perfect idea when I hear a click of his M-16 shattering.

“Niga, this better be good, oh, I am going you blow you head off.” And when he opens the door he puts the M-16 direct at D.J head and ask him. “What the fuck do you want, niga?” I get in front of D.J and I asked him. “J.J my niga, where have you been, I ‘been looking for you all over man.” I asked him as we give a side to side chest hug. “Nathan my niga, I thought you got hit (die)” “No, no I am still here in one piece niga.” “What do you want?” “You know every now and then I was there to kick those assholes that wanted to beat you ass out, a lot of time was because I was looking for some drugs.” “Yeah my niga I one or two time I didn’t have my M-16 or my 44 on hand, but that’s all right niga we here.” And with a pause he says “you still got my Rolex, ha.” “Yeah, I still got my Rolex.” “That’s cool, what do you need?” “You know me, some pot like the good old days.” “That’s all you want?” “Yeah right now that’s all I need.” He knew that, because every time that I went to look for him or them was just for some pot, but at that day, I had to take a little more than pot to make J.J happy give D.J his bullets back to make everybody happy. Rolex, that was like a gold mine for every one of them. My watch that everyone wants or thought they was going to have, but that wasn’t going to happen. J.J holds them I am not giving away with it telling me

that regardless the pot I was going to buy some cocaine and some heroin. I could argue and fight about, but at that particular time, I had a broken arm and the money. A few minutes later there I was coming out of the nigger hood with 1000 dollars worth of drugs hiding on the trunk of my car. I had to keep some of the pot on hand to go with the alcohol when I need it to drink. I came out there with my Rolex, but suddenly for some reason, I am more frustrated and couldn’t no longer keep driving and control myself from crying, and that’s something that hasn’t happen to me for a few years, nevertheless that’s the only thing that I can to escape from life itself. Rebeka, why are you doing this to me? Why did you have to throw our life way? I had nothing else to do other than runway far, far away from you. Still, with my hate, it did come to my scare to drink and drive, to take my favorite shot of heroin to be enchanted, confiding, energy, love, happy, loving everyone, chill satisfied. No hallucinations, no emptiness, no hangover, the raindrops are just falling, and in each one, all could I see was reflect of each of them, and with the reflection, every person life around humanity is beautiful, lighter and unique. That’s what I did in England, that’s why I sniff and shot of cocaine, heroin and where I couldn’t do get myself out of it, other than one of my friend lock myself from the outside locked me in for a whole week without a single shot of any drugs. That wish to get out there, nevertheless impossible on a hallucination of been held by my 3 seconds year old baby walking up and down on the wall. And by looking down at me asking me not to leave me alone, as every tear that came out of his eyes was like, from his right eyes like a blood tear and the from the other one was a black tear. Like fingers squeezing stars making them change to little monsters, every different crazy picture that was just a hallucination. Like lights flowing with all colors getting me all happy, but suddenly turning into this monster that has a face with all types of pieces of dogs, cats, snakes, with all those colors, and turning all black stretching around my face squeezing it like a cobra. I am going through all those hallucinations that I couldn’t control other than suffer and pay for it until all that effect was over hours and hours later. That’s where I had my life had gone. That’s the place where I was, that was my life, part of the hell of most of the

week most been showing the way of life that I missed. Maybe the baby that I hallucinate on the baby walking around the wall was my baby that I never gave a name when he was born because then I just kept him as my son, my angel, just for a few minutes but all I did was to keep him on my heart. A week had gone by since that friend of my released me from that prison of the drug. I was ok considering with the rest of the shit and vomit that I was eating over and over again until I realized that was coming back to reality and my body could no longer accept all that discussing and gross vitamins. I left there, including the weight that I lost without eating at all for that whole week but it was good enough. A couple months had gone by when one night one of some call friends gave me another shot of heroin, and there I was again. It was great for a while, but I was getting my life without a cent on my pocket, and that was another night that I had to come back to reality. Kathy Will, maybe I should blame it on you, for letting me go on to take another shot of cocaine or heroin. Who am I going to blame? It’s not too bad, but again I am still lost on this life after you left me with pain, on hate on myself after you left me with nothing at all but death, hate, pain, despise, that’s all I had on my life. I want to hurt myself I want to kill myself and go you guys in Heaven leave other hearts broken the way I had now As of now, that’s the only thing that my close friends found out about me, because they will never know about my drug life that I had in England or here as well, at least all those thoughts that repurchased my real life right way, those tears that were held that came down to the relief of my life Now I am driving with pot, cocaine, and heroin hiding on the trunk of my car. On the inside with a little bit of pot still useless because I don’t have papers to Role a t, if I even how to roll one. On the glove compartment, the bottle of Crown Royal and now a beer on my side as I am ready to put in between my legs to open because that’s all I have now is one right arm to do all my needs on the way to New York. All I need now was to concentrate on the High Way maybe forget about life, but all of a sudden.

Oh! My God, I can’t take this. Oh! My God, I can’t control it. Oh! No this pain and this sensation in my heart. All can feel is this desperate crying that I can’t control. I am a driving wheel now so strong that I can’t turn anywhere but to drive straight. Nathan force you’re screaming, you’re crying loud, you’re putting too much strength on your driving wheel. Nathan tries to control you. Try to control yourself that you’re feeling on your heart right now. Stop crunching your teeth. Try to pull over. Try to pull off so you won’t get into an accident and hurt someone that doesn’t deserve now other the one that ought to have right now. Nathan pulls over. You have done it, you have conquest it now. You are over now, that pain that feeling, sort past way. Now you’re over, now you have to stop crying loud and scream then bite your teeth. Nathan, you’re having a breakdown, now just let your hands out of that driving wheel, your mind is telling you that you can. Your thoughts won’t let you stop crying at least it gave you; lose all strength from your driving wheel. Your power from your hands Nathan, all you can do is lean your head on driving wheel, hold your head and relax to without the fear of getting into an accident and your fear of hurting anyone that doesn’t need to pay for your price. Now stop talking with yourself, that’s not a kick from your drug or fantasy. That’s, that intuition, that wonders, that behavior, that’s happening right now. I can’t be wrong. This is not because of a back up because of heroin, cocaine, definitely not by marijuana. This is a perception or mind wonders of the truth, facts or events without hearing right now, that’s happening to a person that is not there, and this is me, but that is happening right now. How cruel could that be? Oh! Rebeka Will, you are the one. I know that you are the one; I can feel you that must be you. I don’t want to believe myself, I want this feeling to go away, but right now you are the only one that is on my mind. It’s you, Rebeka, it’s only you that is doing this to me now, you must be the one running way; you must be the one saying, Goodbye.

Chapter 30

I felt like pushing my car to 165 mph. That was at least the first 2 miles that I could see that was all clear. But 10 to 1 could get into an accident and end 6 feet under. Nevertheless, those terrible sensations and pain had now been lightly relieved, but the thoughts were stuck on my mind. I stepped out of the car opened the trunk picked up the cocaine and heroin came back in, and thought on which one should I sniff on. But then I slapped myself on my face and thought. What am I doing be realistic now, and I right way put those little bags on my pants pockets. At that time on whatever had happened, it was now too late to worry about or try to prevent or put a stop to it or whatever that was happening at that particular time. Still, if I get to stop at the end of this clear end, I was going to be a screw up even more for the rest of that day, but I do to see the end of that whole story and the next thing that I had to do now was to get home. I cool myself and just drove like if I was coming back from work. A little later was soon coming down as the outside now looks really beautiful. That peaceful laid there, the light wind that blow was breezy to turn my nose cold that would change red as hot pepper. I hate to think and hate and to wonder on what to expect to see on what feeling would that be there if that fell that I had was from the same place. I walk in, but there was no sound, but the bedroom light was on with that I expected, but what did I know, maybe she was… I want to grab a knife, a hammer, I want to scream, but I walk to the bedroom hand free. Rebeka was heavily sleeping; nevertheless, her pink underwear was on the floor. I pick it up with my fingertips and wave on top of her face, and without opening

her legs, she says. “You’re back.” “Yes I am back,” I say as I pull the sheet off her whole body. “Nathan,” Rebeka says surprise as she pulls the sheet back all over her legs. At that point and time, she didn’t have to because still had her T-shirt on. “You don’t need to cover your whole body because I have seen all of it before, but now please do because you smell gross like a dead fish,” I say as I crunch my teeth while I look at her face. A face that now I hate disgust so much that right way my whole thought on my mind was on how much I hate myself to have met you a long time ago.” “Oh please, Rebeka says, you don’t have to be so arrogant to tell that.” “Where is he? “Who?” she asks What the hell you are talking about,” I say as I am ready to slap he face. “You know Mike.” “Mike is at the Hospital.” Rebeka unhappily says. I am confused as I look at her face still holding that blanket with both hands over her breast saying. “What he couldn’t hand you?” “No, I had to take him there because you bust one of his balls.” She says as she let the blanket off and sits down on the edge of the bed. The hate I feel about her, the pain that I can think at that second, I ask, “So who is he that you fuck with?” Rebeka looks at me with a mad face as she says. “You don’t have to be rude with me that way.”

“Rebeka, open up.” and still quiet, wave her head and says. “Nathan you’ll never meet him, never see him and will never will.” She says as she raises her head and looks straight at my face. “You have got to be shitting me, I mean you not only cheated on me, but you are just a lain slut.” Looking down Rebeka lowers her head and irritated just says. “Nathan.” “No can’t you see that I am completely lost, where does Mike get into this?” “Mike and I just became terrific friends, ever since that he found out that you’re my husband, he wants to be different with him. I don’t know maybe been treat special because he says he also loves me but you never let him.” “I can’t believe this,” I say as I move my head side a couple times and wonder how stupid and naïve I was at that time. “So was that shit all about that happen at the restaurant?” “That’s because Mike found out about me, about this man that I am now in love with now as of course brought him to his irritation that if he can’t have me other then you or my other lover that nobody else would hurt his feelings.” “I see, so he wanted a piece of your meat as well.” “Nathan please don’t…” “Rebeka don’t give me any this shit you can twist my life and my mind like I am a piece of a wet blanket then dry and wet again, not anymore Rebeka Will, not anymore.” “That’s correct Nathan, not anymore because now I am leaving you.” At that very second, I thought about making a good scene, get on my knees and beg her not to leave me and then kick her out of there, but I was better than that, and I ask.

“Rebeka, again who’s this man?” “Nathan like I said, you’ll never know.” “How sure can you be about that?” “I left you a letter; I didn’t expect you to be here this soon.” “Surprise isn’t you?” I asked as I laugh. “Where is this letter?” “It’s on the kitchen table.” “Oh I miss that one, ok then why don’t you go take a shower the least that we can is to have our last drink together, I had this perception that something was happening, a death, an accident or this affair, I watch T.V I never expect once to have to face it.” “Sorry, now I know that you can break every bone of my body, see all the things that one can hide from each other if they want to.” “Don’t worry about any broken bones from your body, but don’t worry about any broken bone from your body will never match the way that you broke my heart, but that’s ok I’ll be able to live without it.” “Ok then I am going to clean up myself up, I don’t know why you can see this as a goodbye.” “Yes Rebeka after all these goodbyes that we have said to each other we might as well save the best for last, in the meantime, I’ll go read this special goodbye letter.” I went back to the kitchen, I didn’t want to see her naked anymore. I had lost that last wish, that pleasure that I use to have my body just go crazy to make love with her. That ion that I use to remove her pink panties, but now that job was already down on the floor that now looks really gross. I finally walk back to the kitchen when I notice that there was a pink rose mind you a rose on a unique vase that I bought her a long time ago. Her favorite color

of roses is red. Well, I guess I was also wrong about that. But that’s ok because now any color of those panties to me really didn’t make a difference, especially the pink one, and before I look for that letter I had to get a drink. I pick two beers and put it on top of the table. I pull that orange glove that Rebeka uses to use every time that she had to wash the dishes. I don’t know why Rebeka had to keep those hands clean every time that she had to remove the plates. Every now and then I would tell Rebeka that she didn’t have to, but the right way she would say that she had to keep her painted nails safe, but more critical be to keep her hand soft to hold my cheeks to kiss me over and over again. However, after I am all set after a few seconds to hold it with only three tips that I had left free on my arm. I got a bottle of Vodka, the Kailua and that milk coconut whiskey. It was enough that’s why instead been a black Russian it magically changes it to a white Russian. That drink wouldn’t be particularly special. Unless I add a special dip on hers that is another shoot, not particular cooked but a special one of heroin and cocaine unique to go, I don’t know to where Heaven or Hell, but at that time the way that I felt for sure wasn’t going to be to her secret lover. Of course, I had to make my one without any special powder, that just by a clue I made a smooth way past higher than hers. Then there I stood looking at my freedom and her death hole. My dear God, what am I doing? Have I gone crazy? Have I brought my life so low enough to commit a crime? Why are you doing this to me, just tell me why are you doing this to me? Please God tell me just let her go. Just let her go, I wait for a few seconds remaining for his answer, but I had no responses, not at that very second. I try and try again to think to forget at that very second to give up, but all I couldn’t erase was my mind. I couldn’t bring all the love, the secrets’ all the first time, everything that I want to change because of all I had been hate and pain on my heart on that wish. But vengeance to end my life, alive as it gave a reason to end her life to have strength, not for life itself. That’s it, Rebeka, that’s the way I see you, so from me to you, this is my final Goodbye.

Chapter 31

Y es, Rebeka, here it is the only thing for you that I have on my mind; now let’s see on what you have left to me. I lift that vase that was once special, but now holding one pink rose was nothing but a useless piece of glass. Then I pick the letter and read. -Nathan this is not the first time that I am saying goodbye to you. I know that you’ll never forget when we started our life together, ever since I was just a teenager, your sweet child, the innocent one that you change, me, trust me and show me the way to do it right. Now my life has changed. I loved you for all the time that we had together, now Nathan I have to go. You have saved my life before. Together we shared our experience, but now I can no longer be that way. Time will go by, and I know that in your life, in time you’ll understand why I had to leave you. Please forgive me, but I had to say good bye to you forever, good buy Nathan Good bye. How about that? She wrote this letter for herself after all. Minutes later she comes back to the kitchen, but this time I don’t know what kind of color panties she had on, not that I care if it was the blue, the red, the purple or any other color, because for me now they were all gross. It was all right because to cover that she had her jeans and a sweater on. I was mad and despise just to look at her face not to regret to be used to enjoy another man. She got near me as I am sitting on the head of the table holding that letter. I had both drinks of White Russian in front of me with as I say to her and point to the chair by the middle of the table still with both White Russian drink next to me.

The drink next to me was a Hood Half and Half ultra-pasteurized with a tiny drop of coffee to make it dark enough to look at my special kahlua Am I still a genius or what? I had to throw away some of that whiskey but what difference would that make after all that heroin and cocaine that I was throwing away, well maybe not I was giving Rebeka as a present. I also had some ham and salami cold cuts on a plate right in the middle of the table as I took a couple of slice of the salami to start to eat, fold the letter back on the ½ throwback to her, and say. “Here I read your letter, and I guess it gives your message loud and clear.” “I am sorry.” She says reaching for a slice of salami and starts to eat. “Oh please spare me your sympathy, that’s something that I don’t really know. As a matter of fact, there’s nothing else that I need from you instead of hearing this I am sorry over and over again meaning nothing to me.” “Yeah, as far as you Nathan, don’t give me any more of your bad attitude you know very well that I can stand to be looking at your face for another second anyway.” She says at this time she takes a piece of ham as I follow her on to the dinner table with drinks that were still in front of me. “You’re right Rebeka, and I mean just plain Rebeka, you’re no longer Rebeka Will, after all, you are not worthy to carry yourself on my high-class name, you know I don’t care how you think or care, but for me now you are nothing but just a plain slut.” She looks at my face as if she’s ready to slap me, or if she had a gun she would shoot me without even think twice, but I didn’t care because of the way that I hate her, because the way that I couldn’t picture her spreading her legs to another man and enjoying like I did, as my wife, not just a plain low life bitch but at that very second that the only thing that I could do was to have a drink with her and say goodbye. I look at my drink and stir with my finger and stir her as well, I say as I pick up the one that’s a little bit lower as that is my clue that, that’s mine and the other one is hers.

“Here this kahlua has been sitting here for quite, and I really don’t want this to turn into a Black Russian. “Here, let’s just put an end for this gross situation and put an end to it on our last drink together forever.” I am still holding her drink looking forward to her face when she says. “I really not in the mood to drink right now,” she says as she looks at me sort of suspicious, I mean that’s what I thought she was doing. “Don’t give me any of this shit,” I shout let’s just do this, I never thought In my life that I would hate you so much the way I do right now, I had a hard time to make this White Russian, besides this white coconut whiskey was the one, but again I must say that was easier for your secret lover to enjoy screwing you, you know that I left you wide enough for you just to give it away.” “Fuck you Nathan, let’s just get this shit out of the way,” she says as she stood up, pick the glass, a small glass mind you, and I must say that I was also lucky enough for her to pick her drink, the one that’s now the famous White Russian was just a little bit lower than mine. I get up, held my glass as I say salute and immediately swallow my drink on two big sips, I like, it was a Half cream, well it was a bit sweet, but it was kind enough to make a fake face like I was drinking a shot of tequila without any salt or lemon. She looks at me after I finished my, and slam that glass on the table, and kept looking at her face, as on my mind I am telling her to hurry up before your first O.D start to sit down. She takes her big swallow, but that was good enough to drop her body down to the floor like she just had jumped from an airplane, but that parachute never opened. Her eyes got open wide, the blood splashed off her nose and her mouth like she was having a period coming from the inside of it. The foam coming out off her mouth overflows landing on her neck, Just picture when you have some milk in the microwave or on the stove and overheat and

made and that mess. That shaking and twisting of her whole body, mes her long black hair that I love to smell and roll my hand from top to bottom, as she loves to sit there and enjoy like she was just a pussycat keeping her eyes close. It was all gone without any strength that was left for her to close those open eyes. And there stood another one of my wives just laying there breathless. She was out; she was dead on her body, and needless to say dead on my heart. There I stood now looking at these lovely women that to me now didn’t mean anything. Was I too cruel? Was I been unfair? Was I just been paranoid not to forgive and forget? I don’t know, maybe I even had a kickback from one of those drug trips that I had when I was in England. I don’t know, but whatever it was, I just couldn’t feel sorry for what had just happened there and worse enough I didn’t care. The only thing that I had to do now was to keep this secret only in my life and on my mind. Goodbye Rebeka, from me to you, this is my final Goodbye. The End