Theology From Within: The Voice In My Head 392t1w

Theology From Within

The Voice In My Head

James T. West

Copyright © 2012 by James T. West.

ISBN:

Softcover Ebook

978-1-4797-5159-4 978-1-4797-5160-0

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Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Prologue

This book is about God and the relations between God, humankind, and the universe, a study of Theology. It will touch on religious doctrine and matters of divinity. I will try to make sense out of the history available. The basis for my conclusions and assertions is a college education, extensive research, worldwide travel for some twenty-five years, seventy plus years of experience, and my conscience, the voice in my head. The book didn’t start out that way. It started out trying to answer the questions: Can we talk to God? Can we have a conversation with God? Any conversation has to have two sides. One side speaks while the other side listens and vice versa. The difficulty with talking with God is that I’m never sure the answers are from His side. I have finally conceded I couldn’t know when God is talking. I began to realize that instead of a booming voice ringing in my ear there was a voice in my head. It was my conscience. It was a gut feeling that guides us as we go through life. Polling people I knew, surfing the web, and a lot of reading led me to the conclusion that the idea of having a conscience is almost universal. I decided I would produce a study of Theology from within. I would have my conversation with God. I would rely on my conscience, the voice in my head to validate what I think God would say.

The following is a collection of conversations with the voice in my head. I am not holy and certainly not a prophet. I have not had a revelation. I have not been knocked off my horse. Lightening has not struck. I am not the start of a new religion. I definitely do not proclaim my life as any example to live by. I am a man who has listened to the guidance from his conscience. I have had words, sentences, thoughts, and ideas in my head. I have had conversations with

the voice in my head. There are times I like to think the answers I have are from God, that God is talking. However, in reality, the question, and the answers are mine guided by my ever present conscience. I firmly believe the Word of God is there for the asking. All we have to do is look and listen.

The ensuing pages become something more than a recitation of conversations. They are a debate about God, religion, and life. I argue with myself. I present a one-sided picture. I cite those people and events that my conclusions. I present my intuitive understanding of God. Throughout the process, I am constantly aware of the voice in my head. I establish my Theology from within. As I go through this process, I begin to realize I am swatting at windmills. I believe the world has given up on any semblance of adhering to the Word of God. Nothing makes sense. The dark side of humanity is winning. The Word of God had been translated to mean greed for power and riches.

I concentrate my effort on the Abrahamic religions. I look at Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. There is a problem with using these three as identities. It erroneously ignores the variety of beliefs held by different sects within each. However, at the base of each are the Torah, the Bible, and the Koran. The Pope is the titular head of the Roman Catholic Church. This religion claims direct lineage to Jesus and the Apostles. From the very beginning, the Church began to amass wealth, wealth beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. The immense treasure of the Vatican towers above the poverty of its converts and seems to be an affront to religious fervor. Instead of a religion, the Pope rules over a Catholic theocracy. The Ayatollah rules over a Muslim theocracy. Religion is a veil pulled over an absolute dictatorship that wants to rule the world. Islam is a myriad of voices demanding strict adherence to the Koran in the name of Allah. The Koran, which preaches peace and love, is forgotten as Islam spreads its word through fear. Each insult is met with a death threat. Its adherents rattle the saber, threatening annihilation to all nonbelievers. Suicide bombers, in the name of Allah, kill and maim indiscriminately, including fellow Muslims.

Judaism tries to establish Israel as a Jewish Theocracy. Their borders and their voting rights are not open to all. The fundamentalists fear their Theocracy can weaken if there is true Democracy. Each religion shouts out, theirs is the one true way. Each religion adds adherents to its beliefs and adds money to its wealth. Clerics get rich, religions get rich, and very little trickles down to do any good.

I was born a Catholic. In every year of my life until I switched to a public school in the tenth grade, I was immersed in Catholicism. Nuns of various orders guided and shaped my beliefs. At one time, I thought I would go into the priesthood. I spent an hour a week with a Jesuit priest exploring the option. Somewhere during all of this, I became interested in girls and the priesthood did not have the same appeal. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from UCLA and a year of postgraduate study in Business. I have traveled throughout the world. At each stop, I have seen a slightly different approach to God and to life. I have had a personal relationship with the people I have met. I have been invited into their homes to meet their families. I am an avid reader, especially of History and Theology. I do not really claim to hear God talking. The voice in my head is talking. My credentials for doing this is what I have learned over seventy plus years—nothing more. I trust you will keep the following pages in the right perspective, the events are real, the facts presented can be verified, and the conversations are mine. The opinions belong to me. I have exposed my relationship with God. I do not offer up a religion as the right or true one. The Word of God is everywhere. What man has done with the message is what causes concern. I hope you enjoy the exercise and come away with the realization that you can have a personal relationship with God. God will come to you. It is easy. Try it.

I count on the reader’s forgiveness for using the masculine in referring to God. It

is the traditional way. I do not have a clue as to the gender of God. I have a feeling that God is neither. I think God lives in another realm not of this earth. I have relied on a lifetime of study but more extensively on two books. They are The New American Bible, © Franciscan Herald Press, revised edition 1971, and The Koran, translated with notes by N. J. Dawood, © N. J. Dawood 1974. I use quotations from the Bible and from my copy of the Koran (translated). These are always in bold and in a smaller font. I have made extensive use of the internet. There are too many sites to list.

Chapter 1

GOD!

I am listening.

Are you?

Well dumb, dumb if you didn’t think so, why shout? Nothing is different from any other day. You shout—I answer. You moan and groan about how life is so unfair. Most of the times you want me to do something for you. Let you win LOTTO. Help you get a job. Better yet—the most important and crucial matter of a lifetime—get me to the airport on time.

I’m not that bad.

That’s true. I am just a little tired of it all today.

An omnipotent and all-powerful God does not get tired.

That’s interesting. You’re not even convinced I’m real. You think you are talking to yourself. You continually question the voice in your head. How many times have you asked: How do I know it is You? How do I know it’s not just me?

I know the voice in my head is real. It’s been there forever. It is just that when I start talking I wonder who is answering.

Who do you think is the voice in your head?

That’s easy—God. The voice is commenting on my behavior, always-correcting, always-asg guilt, always-giving comfort, and most of all always there. It is not I. It is You.

If you believe the voice is God, then why the doubt? When you hear or think an answer, you assume your own attitudes and opinions will have more influence than the voice in your head. Yet, you’re convinced I am there as your conscience.

The voice in my head is not clear-cut. It rings loud and clear, when I do wrong, but most of the time it’s just a feeling. When there are thoughts and words, they frequently lack clarity.

Lack clarity? You are lacking clarity. Explain.

When my behavior is definitely in the wrong, I feel guilt. The voice in my head can almost bring me to my knees. When I’m deciding how to behave in a certain situation, I let my conscience be my guide. Good and bad behavior is clear. When I try to have a conversation, the clarity disappears. I know the voice in my head is there. I know or at least feel quite certain the voice is God. What I don’t know is whether I interfere with the process by

interposing my own wishes and desires. Let’s face it doing wrong doesn’t always happen. However, it does come easy.

When you ask a question?

I always hope God will answer. At the very least, I think He guides my moral choices. When I ask a question and I’m not sure the answer is His or mine, I try to follow my conscience, or gut feeling. When I ignore my conscience, I feel the guilt. When I ask questions, I am not sure I hear the answer.

Guilt comes easily after the fact. There is guidance and a good feeling or bad feeling based on following that guidance, that gut feeling. When you ask questions, you’re never sure if I answer. You accept My guidance but when you ask a question you’re not sure that I answer. Maybe you need to realize that guidance is an answer.

Do you when we first started talking? I mean when you first came into my head. I talked and I supposed you listened. I asked questions. You didn’t answer.

Didn’t you felt better afterward?

I think I fell asleep.

Do you where you were?

I was five years old, at the orphanage, alone, and headed to bed without dinner. It was sort of a regular event.

The first few years of your life didn’t go well.

It’s never good to be born out of wedlock. The reception isn’t always the best. I had been bounced around to different foster parents until I was old enough to go to a boarding school. The cozy life in a nice boarding school is easy to live with. After a year, I was accustomed to this good life. Then one day all of it changed. I was picked up one morning, spent the day in a car, and spent the next year in an orphanage that really didn’t want me there. My linchpin to sanity through all this was God. I had learned to talk to God early, thanks to a concerned nun.

How did a concerned nun help?

She was my home nun at the boarding school. She put me to bed at night and woke me in the morning. She was my surrogate mother. She gave me love, attention, and an education. She knew my background and I think she saw I wasn’t dealing with my issues well. She sat down with me and explained that through it all God was there. He loved me and cared for me. No matter what, God was always at my side. All I had to do was ask and He would answer.

You hung in there and kept asking but you didn’t think you were getting any answers.

Something like that. I did feel You were there and I was sure You were in

control. However, I wasn’t doing too well in the orphanage.

Like what?

Everything just seemed to boil over that night when I was sent to bed without dinner. I had slowly climbed the stairs coming out of the dining room. I was in a cavernous hallway leading to the dormitory. There was a dim glow of light in front of me. I stopped, tired, scared, and crying. I sat on the floor. I had my back against the wall with my knees up. The hall was dark and eerie. I felt small, insignificant, and afraid. It was all wrong. I was convinced You were punishing me. I buried my head in my hands and prayed. What had I done? Why were You blaming me? I was crying, which was an unwanted trait. It happened more than it should have.

Do you what was going on?

Going from riches to rags wasn’t the easiest. It really is much nicer to have pleasant surroundings in life. Have You ever been in an orphanage? The boarding school was what I thought to be the good life. I had arrived. Instead, it was a big tease. You gave me a look at what life could be like and then pulled it all away. I was not worthy. I had sinned, apparently the big sin. This was my punishment and I wasn’t coping too well.

Because you think I caused it all.

Who else? I thought the sin belonged to my mother, yet I was doing the penance. Normally I would roll with the punches. The thing was to adapt to the new

surroundings. For some reason, I just wasn’t adapting. Nothing was going right. I couldn’t stop crying nor could I stop wetting the bed, both of which kept me in serious trouble with Sister.

It wasn’t that bad.

It was. I would go to bed telling myself repeatedly that I would greet the morning with a dry bed. During the day, I would practice each time I went into the bathroom. When I stood in front of the urinal, I would pinch myself and slap my face. I felt sure this would prevent any mistake. Nighttime came and after I fell asleep, the dream would come. I would find myself standing in front of the urinal. Just as I had practiced, I would pinch myself and slap my face. I felt sure I was awake. I would say aloud, please God let this be right. I would let go. Instantly I would have a warm wet feeling spreading across my groin. I knew I was in trouble. I would fall back asleep hoping it was all a dream. I would wake with Sister wrenching the covers off me and screaming. I didn’t understand. Why were You doing this to me? What had I done?

A five year old doesn’t usually resort to pleading with God for help. I have to it you surprised me.

You have to it what, a five year old found life so overwhelming that he asked for help.

Five year olds don’t usually ask for help. They say prayers by rote. The concept of dealing directly with God doesn’t usually exist at the age of five. For some it never exists. Catholic Charities had kept you in different foster homes, until you

were old enough for boarding school. One morning you were taken out of the boarding school, and by night, you were sleeping in an orphanage. The move had nothing to do with anything you had done. Your mother had wanted to assert her parental privilege. It seemed the zeal lasted less than twenty-four hours. She just didn’t like what came with motherhood. The orphanage was easier. Figuring out why was something way above your pay grade. It would have been natural for you to turn to your religious figures, the nuns, and the priests. A five year old just doesn’t ring my bell. They study the Catechism and ask Sister for help when things go wrong. The voice in their head really hasn’t formed yet.

I had read the Catechism from cover to cover. The words did not seem to be Your words. All the rules and regulations seemed to keep you at a distance. I was to be a member of the Church, not God’s child. Deep inside of me, I rebelled. I felt You should be a personal God. I felt You and I should have conversations. I believed the words I would have in my mind should be God talking. I wanted to go to You direct. It didn’t seem to be working.

At five years old, you wanted to start your own religion. Forget all the lessons and memorization by rote; you had a better idea—talk to God.

Why not?

You said you fell asleep.

Crying and praying did me in.

Do you where you woke up?

In my bed—my dryyyy bed. Noooo! Sister must have come along and put me to bed.

Are you sure?

It was a long time ago.

About seventy years, I didn’t hear much from you after that.

You scared the hell out of me.

Why?

You don’t .

Oh, yeah—the incident at summer camp.

A friend and I had stolen a box out of the day’s mail. It was addressed to a nerd who was always getting goodies from home. We were sure it would be something good to eat. It was—homemade cookies. We went off and ate the whole lot. When we got back to camp, we kept quiet through all the fuss. We kept together as everyone searched for the box. We gave each other strength to keep our mouths shut. No one ever knew or suspected. We had washed our faces

clean, no evidence showed. We were careful to eat a full meal at dinner and not complain about the tummy ache we were feeling. We were free from suspicion. We had pulled off our big heist and got away with it.

So what was the problem?

I felt guilty. Maybe the voice hadn’t reached maturity but it was certainly active in the guilt realm. I had not committed a big sin before and I was scared to death. I was sure You would know. I didn’t know what You would do.

What made you think I would do anything?

A week after I got home, I was reading the daily newspaper. On a back page, I read that a nine year old was killed in a freak bike accident. They gave the boy’s name. He was my friend at camp. It didn’t end there. The next day I was on my bike and a bus almost sideswiped me. I was pinned to the curb by the tire of the bus. I don’t know why I didn’t fall under the wheels. A violent end seemed near.

Did you think I was doing it as your punishment?

Why else did those things happen? Coincidence wasn’t something I believed in. My whole life I had been taught everything that happens has a purpose. Events are linked. I didn’t go out of the house for a week. I was convinced You would strike me dead. When I finally went outside, I kept trying to dodge the meteor I was sure would fall on me. You had killed my cohort and I was certain I was next.

There were other things involved in your friend dying. It had nothing to do with your little caper.

You could have let me know.

To be honest, I thought a little scare would be good for you.

A little scare! You have to be kidding me. I was already convinced You were an angry all-powerful God. Sister told of a student who had a straight “A” average, was an altar boy, and was the perfect example of all that is good. At his funeral, the church was full of tearful mourners wondering why God would take an ideal youngster at such an early age. Surely, the child was in heaven. Suddenly the boy sat up in his coffin. His voice rang out, “Just before I died, I swore, taking the Lord’s name in vain. I am now in hell.” The message was there. God is just waiting for you to slip up. Yeah, You scared me. I was petrified.

That’s why I didn’t hear from you all those years.

I did the church thing and mumbled my prayers. I figured the religious instruction was right. I could read the scriptures but to understand the Word of God, I needed an intermediary. God could not be my friend. I gave up on the idea that I could talk to You.

Until you were in the Army.

Yeah, things got somewhat intense. I was in high school when the Korean War broke out. I could hardly wait for graduation. I had felt bad because I was too young to enlist during WWII. I felt I was not doing my duty. I was anxious to get into the fray. I did not turn seventeen until July but I enlisted at the start of June, as soon as I had graduated. My actual entry into the Army would be delayed until I was of age. Between the date when I enlisted and the day I actually went in, the War stopped. They had signed a truce. It didn’t matter; I was still ready to go. I was a bright-eyed seventeen year old when I went to Fort Ord. Some four weeks into basic training an ulcer, I didn’t know I had, erupted. I mean what teenager has bleeding ulcers. I ed out while marching in formation, double time of course. Luckily, I was in the fifth platoon, so not too many ran over me. The company kept going but a sergeant stayed back to see how I was. He said I looked okay but to hotfoot it over to the base hospital and get myself checked out. Army medical care at the time consisted of taking your temperature. If you didn’t have a fever, the instructions were simple—take two APC’s and come back in the morning.

You weren’t doing too well. I have to it you had Me worried.

You worried. I don’t think so. Me—that’s a different story. I went on sick call the next morning and tried to get to the hospital. I could walk about one hundred feet and then I would need to sit on the side of the road. I didn’t have any energy. I didn’t think about what was happening. I had only one thought in mind—get to the hospital. When I checked in, the nurse gave me a weird look and told me to go to the lab for a blood test. My disappointment must have been obvious. “Take this paper and go to the lab soldier. Then we’ll see what we can do.”

The hospital was a series of one-story buildings with connecting interior hallways. There were outside paths for external access. The pathway between itting and the lab had benches every few feet. I would walk each interval and sit. It seemed like a long time before I could walk to the next bench. My brain seemed to fog over. I took a couple of hours to get to the lab and back. I the good feeling when I got back and sat in a chair. I don’t the actual chair, I just the good feeling when I sat and leaned back.

That’s when you got me involved. You didn’t really plea for help, you just wanted to know what was happening. I think you knew you were bad off.

I leaned back in the chair and the fog seemed to lift. When my brain started working, I felt lost and afraid. I didn’t know what was happening. I thought of God. I wanted to hear from You. I needed to hear You and know You were there. I needed to know You weren’t some aloof entity but You were my friend. I was hoping You were not going to blast away at me. I needed the comfort from knowing You were with me.

I really didn’t want you to die. It wasn’t your time.

You could have told me. It would have made what happened a little less scary.

Scary is sometimes a good thing. What was happening had to reach a conclusion. You had to play it out.

I was basking in comfort when I noticed a nurse standing in a doorway staring at me. Her face had a look of amazement on it. She disappeared only to be replaced

by a doctor with the same bewildered expression. I ignored the whole scene. I leaned back and continued in an almost euphoric stupor. I was relaxed and not worried about God or anything else. I wasn’t in any pain and I was beginning to wonder why I was even there. My reverie was interrupted by an orderly pushing a wheelchair towards me. In a command voice everyone at the base seemed to have, I was told to get in the wheelchair. I was checking into the hospital.

You being the independent one demanded to walk. After all, you had just walked all over the base. You were one obstinate recruit.

I didn’t win the argument. He wheeled me to a ward. As I started changing into a hospital uniform, I ed out and what ensued was all a blur. They kept giving me blood and I kept reacting to it. It seemed like one continual action. They would start a transfusion, I would react with violent shakes, somewhat like a seizure, they would stop the transfusion, and then they would take more blood for typing. They kept repeating the process. Each time they would look for a new place to stick the needle. I didn’t feel anything. It was as if I was watching a show. I was completely detached. They had run out of places on my arms and were sticking needles in my feet. They finally concluded I had an unknown blood group. I guess that was when they wrote me off. Someone telephoned my mother and told her I was dying and wouldn’t last the night.

You weren’t done though.

I guess not. At the time, I didn’t really care. It was as if I was a disinterested observer. It wasn’t happening to me. I looking down from a corner of the ceiling. It wasn’t a large room. There was a hospital bed with little space on each side. There were three men in white coats standing on different sides of the

bed talking. One man wanted to operate. The other two wanted to wait and see. They were convinced I was too weak. I wouldn’t make it through an operation. I looked at the person in the bed. It was me and then again, it wasn’t me. It didn’t make any sense. I was and I was not a part of the scene. I felt alone. I felt You weren’t there.

I was.

Then it all went dark. There wasn’t a thought, a dream, or any realization that I was alive. Suddenly I was awake. I could feel a warm sponge washing over me. I opened my eyes and became aware there was a nurse at the other end of the sponge. She looked up, just as I was beginning to realize I was back amongst the living. I was jolted into full consciousness when she told me to wash my own private parts. I looked at my arms and feet. They were bruised and swollen. I looked around. Funny, I wasn’t in a private room. I was in a ward with lots of beds lined up on each side of a long open space.

You found out what happened.

Yeah, I was a medical phenomenon. The lab report on my blood test was somewhat out of the norm. I had three quarters of a million red blood cells, more or less. I was supposed to have over five million. Lose half of your blood and they start fitting you for a body bag. At one point they gave up on transfusions. They quit trying. However, there was the option to give me washed blood. This was blood where everything had been removed except for the red blood cells. The problem was washed blood wasn’t stored on the base. Actually, it wasn’t stored anywhere. It had to be manufactured and given in a transfusion shortly after. Fort Ord didn’t have the capability of producing washed blood. They would have to send to San Francisco for it to be made up—a two day process.

They deliberated over whether it would be a wasted effort. I would not last two days. From what they knew there really wasn’t any reason to spend the time and money. I think that’s when God came in to the picture.

I’ve never figured out why you were so convinced God came through for you.

Let’s face it. Everything said death. There was no basis for anyone to conclude I would last two days. There was no basis for anyone to conclude I should still be alive. You can’t fault them for thinking I wouldn’t last out the wait. I did and it took four quarts of washed blood to bring me back to normal. Wherever I had been bleeding stopped. The blur cleared up and I would wash my private parts. Why wouldn’t I be convinced God was there?

Did you figure out the private room?

The ward I was in had a small room next to the entrance. One of my fellow patients told me it was for anyone who was dying. They wanted to give some privacy for the last moments.

You left something out.

Yeah, somewhere in the middle of all that blur a priest showed up. He kept shaking me. “I’m here to hear your confession.” “I don’t need one.” “Son, you’re dying. You don’t want to go out with sin on your soul.” He just wouldn’t stop. I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want anything. I finally gave in. The priest began the rite. I tried to the words… In the name of the Father and… my last confession was… I have sinned… I thought hard. I tried to

in. Then I knew You were there. I had nothing to confess. I was not saintly but I had not committed any mortal sin. I said, “I have no sins to confess.” I could tell the priest was irritated. He asked if I was sure. “Now was not the time to leave anything out.” This would be my last chance. He just shook his head and continued. I could smell the oil he rubbed on my forehead. I could hear the Latin and then I ed out. I had received Extreme Unction or the Last Rites. I had the thought —maybe I am dying.

What else?

My out of body experience scared me. I knew I had separated from the body I occupied. I know the scientific explanation was hallucination. I wasn’t really out of my body I was just thinking it. The problem was the view I had was etched in my memory. Every detail was vivid. I could see my face on the body in the bed and see the tops of the doctors’ heads. The vision was very obviously from the ceiling not from my brain. The idea of a private room for dying wasn’t in my consciousness. When I looked down on myself dying, I was different. It was me but I wasn’t in my body. I wasn’t aware of any shape or of any physical me—just me looking at a still body. I began to think there would be something after death. Just what, I had no idea.

What about the power of the sacrament?

There wasn’t any power; it’s just a rite. I forget its origins. I imagine it started before Jesus and the start of Christianity. A rite is just a rite. It can be comforting at times but it is still just a rite.

You think God was there to help pull you through.

I believe God was involved. I have always thought God was near me. Often I have found myself talking to God, or at least thinking the thoughts. I was never aware of any response. I talked, sometimes prayed, but there was never an answer. I often wondered how I would know God answered. How would I know it wasn’t me? My near death experience made me think God is on a different plane then here on earth. It made me think there is something about me that is on a different plane. Maybe God wasn’t there in a physical sense, but He was there. Somehow, I knew He was with me. I knew I wasn’t alone.

I was there. You weren’t alone.

It’s obvious that throughout the world the outcome of events seems to change, just ever so slightly. A plane crashes and only one survives. The jaws of life allow the driver of the crushed car to escape unscathed. A young recruit almost bleeds to death. It’s not hard to accept that God acts to change an outcome. The question is why does God then tolerate the absolute cruelty that exists in the world. In war after war, men have been savagely beaten and killed. Cities are ravaged with widespread looting and rape by the winning army. Suicide bombers indiscriminately kill. Airplanes drop bombs with civilian casualties. In all of this, there is no God.

God is there with each soldier, each participant. With some, He is there to ease their ing. With others, the outcome of death is changed. He is always with you.

I know I can’t see God and I can’t hear God, but He’s involved with each of us. I think He comes into our hearts and souls through our consciences. In this way, God can be here helping us define right from wrong and nudging the future ever so slightly.

A lifetime of events leads you to believe that God intervenes but only on an individual basis. From that, you assume that the voice in your head could be God.

Well, that’s sort of the problem. Isn’t it?

Okay, what’s the problem?

I’m having this conversation in my head. A conversation takes two. So far, I feel I am one side and God is on the other. If God is really on the other side of this conversation then I should be asking questions not making my own judgments. Maybe I could clear up a few things.

What do you want to clear up?

It’s everything. Starting from the beginning will reveal a lot. If You exist and I exist, then why? Where are we headed and what’s at the end of the road, or is there an end of the road, and what is the voice I have in my head? If I have You near me, why aren’t You in the world? Why does it seem evil is winning out?

You have questions and want answers. Why now?

It’s not just now. I’ve been struggling with this my whole life. I have thought of You as my friend and my confidant. So many times, I wanted to believe You were there. Then I look at the world and ask, are You there?

You’re worried about what happens when you die.

What’s happening here on earth doesn’t give me any warm fuzzy feeling about a hereafter. I’ve always believed my time on this earth was limited. I haven’t worried about it. I think I’ve done my best, not always the best, but my best.

Now, in your final days, you are worried about who I am and what is the master plan.

I don’t know. Each day I wake and it seems pointless. It’s another new day, just like the last one. All I see and hear lacks any pretense that there is a God. The fighting and killing, abroad and at home, are all the result of each side exercising its right to rule. It doesn’t matter if it’s the local gang in central Los Angeles or a tribe in Afghanistan. I want to know where God is.

There’s religion.

Depending on which service you attend, the experience can be calming. A lot is dependent on who is leading the service. The problem is they all end up pointing fingers at the nonbelievers, the infidels. They make fun of any belief except their own. They are convinced their rites are the only way man should adore God. Their vision of God and the future is an absolute. Their way is the right way, and

then there’s the collection plate.

What’s wrong with the collection plate?

Quite a few years ago, a friend of mind was quite proud of the fact he had led a drive to have the front side of his church rebuilt in the form of a cross. Ten-foot hand carved oak double doors were at the base of the cross. The rest was stained glass windowpanes so the effect on the interior was stunning. The congregation had come together at a large buffet dinner to pay homage to my friend on this accomplishment. I didn’t in the rousing cheer. I asked my friend if God was smiling at this great accomplishment. Perhaps there was a tear in His eye as he watched the nearby homeless and hungry people go without help.

You really don’t know how to win friends, do you?

It just seems hypocritical to ask for money to do God’s work and then build massive structures to praise God. I believe God wants us to do for each other, as so many are in need.

Maybe the setting is necessary. Humans don’t do well with a poor and homeless God. They expect more. They want to know God has something to offer. Trying to understand the Word of God and trying to celebrate His presence isn’t easy in the back alley with drug paraphernalia strewn about. Humans feel the setting should be worthy of their God.

Isn’t God present everywhere?

Maybe that’s what you’re trying to find out. You have some serious doubts about God being in your world.

The world seems full of greed, corruption, and lacking any semblance of a God. I have my little comfort zone wherein I love my wife and family. Relatives are always doing something to make me glad I have a family. Good friends are few and those I have are the salt of the earth. The rest of the world can be best explained as a world void of Your presence.

If I’m not present in the world then how can I be the other side of your conversation?

Would You answer that?

I think the whole concern you have is based on the fact you’re worried about what happens when there isn’t a new day.

If that’s the way it works, I won’t know it. I die and that’s it. No new day, no me. Except I’m convinced there will always be a new day—either in this mode or some other one.

You’ve had the experience of leaving your body.

That doesn’t tell me about You. That doesn’t tell me if You exist. That doesn’t tell me if I’ve been talking to myself. That doesn’t tell me if You really are there

and listening to me. If there is a You then why all the evil in this world? Why does it always seem that good comes in last? Is there really a purpose to it all?

What you’ve presented are some very personal experiences and your relationship to God. You’re trying to find a meaning in all of that. You want to know what it means. You think I will give you the answers.

I know better but sometimes I wish You would show me the way. Why not?

You know the answer to that. Think about what you’ve said. The first five years of your life didn’t go so well. I have to it you were quite young to be blaming me, but blame me you did.

I didn’t have anyone else to blame. I could have blamed my mother. I did that for a while. It didn’t help things.

Why blame at all? Why do you need to find someone who messed up your life? What makes you think you are so important that God would reach out and make your life miserable?

I think the point of it all was that I reached out to You and You were there. My peeing and crying stopped. You helped and the memory stands out. I reached out again when I committed what I thought at the time was a horrible sin. You let me carry that guilt for some time.

Guilt is no more than blame. You blamed me and then you blamed yourself. It

would appear you are still carrying that blame, still carrying that guilt.

To some degree I probably am. When you sin and then ask for forgiveness, does the blot on your soul ever disappear?

Did you ask for forgiveness or were you afraid of my punishment?

At the time, I was scared, afraid of Your punishment.

That’s not asking for forgiveness, that’s asking for an abatement of your penalty. You live with a vivid memory, not of the sin, but of the fear. The sin is not a blot on your soul. Your fear of punishment has been ed. That’s what guilt is all about. Guilt does nothing for you. Don’t the fear of punishment, the sin, and vow never to repeat it. Then go forward with a new way of dealing with life, a way without sin.

What about when I was in the Army and almost dying?

Too many people have walked away from sure death. The question is always why was I the one that survived. What was special about me? Men in battle watch their friends die as they fight alongside each other. They and you are not unique. In some cases, there is no question of divine intervention but in most, it’s just the roll of the dice. Survival makes you special in the sense that you should make more out of your life. The fact your life is a gift from God should never be forgotten.

If I look back at that survival and then add up my accomplishments in life, it seems You may have been shortchanged in the deal. Do we have to build bridges and save humanity to pay our debt?

You have to do as you can do. Sometimes life ends because the battle is over. You have demonstrated your right to the hereafter. Sometimes life continues when you haven’t earned your slot in the hereafter. If you’ve been given one more day, spend that day loving God, one God, and only one God, and then loving your neighbor. Doing onto others as you would want them to do unto you. It’s not difficult. God wants you to win the day, the test, and go to heaven. Are you getting anything out of all this?

Maybe, but I’m not sure. Blame and guilt are time consuming and of no benefit to my future. Events happen. The past is past and I have been given today, don’t waste it. Vivid memories can be reliving the joys and love in my life and can allow me to experience prior happiness. Vivid memories of blame and guilt are a form of punishment, which for some reason I feel are necessary. Spend my life doing good today. Leave punishment to God.

Good boy, I always knew you had promise. Have you answered your questions?

It’s a start. We have more time; at least I think we do. Thank You.

Sleep on it. Wake in a dry bed.

Chapter 2

GOD!

You’re up early.

I couldn’t sleep. I keep struggling with this effort of mine. I don’t know whether I have some complex where I think I’m on a divine mission or maybe I just want to shout out. I don’t think I qualify for a divine mission. You haven’t seen fit to make any revelation. No angel has visited me asking me to set the record straight. All I have is this voice in my head; a voice I think comes from God.

You have a conviction that your conscience comes from God. Why?

Who else would care?

Do you think a caring God would talk to you?

Why wouldn’t He?

No reason, but what’s your problem?

Is this voice in my head His or mine or some of both? If the words start out as belonging to God, but are words I don’t feel are right, do I let them flow as they were at the start or do I interpose my own feelings and attitudes and change the words to suit me?

I’m not sure Sister Stanislaus would approve of your English. How did you ever get out of eighth grade?

I am sure Sister would also be curious as to Your answer. It may be poor sentence structure but the meaning is clear. I think Your moving the subject to my poor English as a way to avoid the question.

I am not avoiding it. There is no answer. It is the curse of all God’s communications with humans. Man gets in the way. Examine each answer and let your conscience be your guide.

You’re saying You will push the guilt button when I’m interfering with Your message.

Except on rare occasions, man has attempted to record God’s words accurately. They don’t always do so. They are wrapped up with their own beliefs and prejudices. There is even more difficulty with maintaining accuracy when ing those words on. When humans first started populating the earth, communication was verbal. Languages were in their infancy and rudimentary. Knowledge was ed on by word of mouth. What was written was either etched in or painted on stone. Clay was effective for short-term records. Oration was one way to deliver the news.

Teaching was by rote, with teachers having memorized their subject. Word of mouth was the mail system. This method was effective when dealing within a small area, a village, or a town. As the world grew, the needs for communicating over long distances also grew. Sending a messenger with a verbal report was fraught with problems. The written word could not be ignored. The meaning would be clear—or so it was thought. There were efforts to standardize language. Grammar, pronunciation, and vocabulary were stabilized for formal communication. However, people communicated between each other in the vernacular. The formal language changed into different dialects by region. Each class had its own jargon, and idioms were everywhere. Reading and writing gradually evolved from stone and clay to papyrus and animal skins. Very few developed the necessary skills. Probably one of the oldest professions was being a scribe. There was a lengthy learning process. Scribes developed their own tools and were the fount of language skills. Today we become literate over years of studying the written word. A student becomes skilled in the use of a dictionary or a thesaurus. We often hear the complaint that a high school graduate does not know how to read or write. Think of how many years and how much opportunity each student has had. Now put yourself in the time of the Torah, the Bible, or the Koran. Think of the difficulty in learning without books and classrooms. There were no pencils, no paper, and few samples to follow. Written language depended on the scribe. The scribe was the one who spent a lifetime learning the process. During the early centuries, scribes would be the only source of the written word. During the Middle Ages, the monks would spend a lifetime copying and transcribing. Scribes would develop the tools of their trade almost in solitary. Inks, pens, and papyrus were available at a price. The scribe would, through necessity, make up his own ink and fabricate his own pen. Skins were available and the scribe would learn to split the skin into more than one layer. Each scribe would have his own process for treating these thin layers and what inks they would use in writing. Scribes controlled the printed word. The spoken word had to be translated into

the written word. This wasn’t an easy task. Each language, whether written or oral, depended upon the speaker and the scribe. We tend to think of language as a specific thing unchanging. It isn’t. Dictionaries were nonexistent. Language was vernacular or verbal. A meaning of a word might depend on the voice inflection or local usage. The scribe would write what he heard in one language into another language. Greek, Latin, Aramaic, and Hebrew were the languages of the area where Jesus preached. All of these were vernacular. Dictionaries would come into being centuries later. You think you can go back before dictionaries and read a scribe’s interpretation with accuracy. It is an impossible task. As scribes worked on compiling texts or copying from poor quality writings, many a word difficult to understand would be replaced by a word more in tune with current thinking and practice. The words of Jesus are no longer the words of Jesus. They are the words of scribes. The Word of God no longer belongs to God. I hope that you will listen to your conscience as you go forward.

I’m not trying to transcribe anything. My effort is aimed at understanding God’s existence and God’s message from the facts as I see them. I will use the words I have learned. I the difficulty in understanding English when I was in England. The last thing I want is for what I write to be so difficult to understand that a cadre of translators will become necessary. I need help in minimizing the impact of my own beliefs and prejudices and expanding the readability of my text. I realize God is omnipotent and all seeing. God knows what is in my mind even more than I do. Can I be honest with my thoughts?

Most people aren’t. I think they are afraid of what lurks just below consciousness. Freud developed the idea of an id, an ego, and the subconscious. The concept of mental illness dealt with the fear of what was in one’s subconscious.

You don’t really want an ice cream; you want to sleep with your mother. Freud was stuck on sex. It pervaded his thoughts. I would think much of what he wrote reflected his own turmoil. Although many of his ideas have been discredited, the design of psychoanalysis lives on. Having been in therapy with a psychiatrist, I have some first-hand knowledge of the effort. My impression of the process is it is designed to release repressed thoughts. It took some time before I could relive my experiences in the orphanage.

You have a better understanding of yourself than most. Why all the concern?

I know I wear a mask. I will show what I think is right and proper. There is a tendency to use a language that will demonstrate my education and knowledge instead of just attempting to communicate an idea.

You know when you’re doing that.

That’s the rub. I’m not sure.

Will you write what you believe to be true or will you write what you believe is God’s Word?

That is the question.

The bigger question is whether there is a difference. You will write what you believe to be true. You will write based on your experience and knowledge. Of

prime importance, you will let your conscience be your guide. You will let that voice in your head be heard. You will struggle to develop a concept of God and His purpose. Maybe the better concern is why do you want to attempt this?

Ego maybe, or because I can, or maybe because I hold a strong conviction that You will come to my aid. I believe the good side will conquer all. I just don’t believe that we as a human race realize how far we’ve gone astray. If somehow we would just sit back and take stock of what we’re doing, we might turn things around.

Do you think your book will accomplish that?

My ego’s big but not that big. I think I can feel better within myself if I just put my thoughts down in written form. I think the answers to where we go from here are apparent. It doesn’t take much intelligence to realize the uniqueness of this world and humans. I hope that I am able to stay on the trail You’ve laid out. Whether or not anyone follows is a question I don’t consider. My wife always says writing is good therapy for me. Maybe that’s all this is.

Well, let’s get on with your therapy session. Start with the basics.

There is me and then there is You.

Do you have to start with there is a you?

If I don’t consider my own existence, how can I think about what else exists? I

start with I know I exist. Rene Descartes had it right when he said “Cognito ergo sum”—I think therefore I am.

Do you think there can be a you without a Me?

If I believe in me then I have to believe in You.

That’s a good stretch.

Not really. I have trouble with the concept that I am the only thing in existence. So I believe in me and I believe in You.

There has to be something more than you just exist.

At the very minimal, I have a brain, or something that thinks.

You have you and a brain.

I have time. What I just said is in a period earlier than the one I am in now. I can think what has happened, what is happening, and what might happen?

You exist and you exist over time.

So when was the first time I thought and therefore existed?

It’s your story. When was the first time?

I don’t know but I do know I had a first time. I started without knowledge. I had to acquire knowledge. At first, I didn’t have a concept of numbers. Now I can count, add, subtract, etc. I grew both in size and in wisdom. Then just when I think I’ve reached a level of understanding about myself, and everything around me, I will die. Maybe the universe does the same. It begins with a bang, grows to a tremendous size, and then collapses and dies.

The universe is too big—too complicated. Stay with you. What about before there was a you? What about the first time you had the thought—“Cognito ergo sum”?

I know about me now. I know about me since I was a small child. I don’t know about the start of me. No matter what I do, I am always stuck at the beginning. Is there a before me?

There is no answer unless you believe there is a God. You believe there is a you and there has to be a Me. Humans look out at the heavens and search for answers. Telescopes with mirrors are aimed in all directions. Each splash of light is studied. It doesn’t matter how many splashes of light you try to interpret or how big you build your mirrors, there is always a question not answered. There is always the biggest question of all. Is there a beginning and is there an end? Is there a God?

Are we back at that question of faith? If I’m stuck at the beginning, is it a reason to give up? I know there is a me. I know I can think. I can apply logic. I can use numbers. I can do all sorts of things. Am I the only one who exists? Am I wrong about the existence of God? Is everything a figment of my imagination? Are You a figment of my imagination?

If you were the only one to exist then you would be God. You would create a world to live in that only exists in your mind. Just as you dream, you set the parameters of the events. There is only your mind. All else—just a figment.

I’m not so egotistical that I could accept that as a hypothesis.

No. You’re just building your case. There’s nothing wrong with going through—I think therefore I am—and then to no one else exists. The absurdity of it all makes you realize you are not the only one on the planet—and you are on a planet.

Intuitively I can believe. Maybe I have faith but I think there is more to it than just blind faith.

You’re still fighting the faith principle. Faith is much easier. You don’t have to struggle. You don’t have to keep asking yourself.

I’m not, I am asking You.

Do you think I will give you the answer?

Well, it would be nice.

Yeah, something about when pigs fly.

It’d be helpful if you jump in occasionally.

I thought you said you believe in you and you believe in God.

I believe I exist and my existence is immersed in a physical world. As with Descartes, I cannot deny the impact of my senses. I know I see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. There is the quiet beauty in the darkness of night, the freshness of early morning, the majesty of a mountain chain, and the enchantment of a great love. All of this makes me realize I am matter and exist in a world of matter. When I began, this world was here. I was born from the procreation of a man and a woman. My physical being started as an embryo and now exists as a seventy-six year old man. I have to be much more than an accumulation of cells. I am a creation of God. Somewhere long before me there was the process of the earth being formed and before that was the start of the universe. I can think of the beginning.

You call the beginning God. You don’t know what was at the beginning and you don’t know what will be at the end. You conveniently call both God.

I start with today, with matter in motion. The universe is matter, in its three forms: gas, liquid, and solid. Think of all the energy needed to cause all of this

matter to go in all directions at tremendous speeds. Then think of the smallest piece of matter, the atom. Think of the atomic bomb and realize the huge amount of energy stored in just one atom. Everything is in motion. The electrons are zooming around protons and neutrons. The atoms are bouncing around to form liquids, gasses, and solids. Now think of compressing all of this matter into a small motionless ball. If we compress matter into a small ball there is no energy, there is no motion, and there is no mass. We have compressed every atom wherein the electrons, neutrons, and protons no longer exist. The ball is homogeneous. Matter, as we know it, takes motion. In this ball, there is zero motion, zero movement. Everything there is and everything there was has been compressed into this ball. It is absolutely still. Nothing moves. Without energy, matter ceases to exist. Without movement, at absolute zero speed, time stands still.

You’re going to cite Einstein as a source for your definition of the beginning.

I don’t claim to understand all of his theories but I think I understand some of what he proposed. I come away with the concept that time is a dimension and is relative to speed. The movie, Planet of the Apes, played on that relativity. Astronauts, in space and traveling close to the speed of light, return to earth finding hundreds of years had elapsed versus their few short years in space. The theory, as I understand it, says that as you go faster time slows. A person traveling in a spaceship experiences one year while a person here on earth experiences one hundred years. Once you get to the speed of light, time stops. Einstein had theorized that at the speed of light mass would be infinite. Mass as we understand it on earth means weight. However, weight is relative to earth. We think of astronauts traveling in space and experiencing weightlessness. Yet these same astronauts have mass. It is a measure of how much energy it takes to change current speed and direction. Think of a train speeding towards you. How much energy is needed to stop its forward motion? Compare that to a feather floating down. If that feather were traveling fast enough, the energy required to stop its forward motion would be

the same as needed to stop the train. Mass increases as the speed increases. A bullet weighs very little, but when shot out of a gun it is lethal. Einstein theorizes that just before you reach the speed of light the amount of energy to make you go one-step faster would be infinite. Therefore, nothing can reach the speed of light. However, what if at infinite speed and infinite mass, you go full circle, start all over at zero speed, zero mass, and time stands still. It’s all theoretical but it presents the possibility. This idea of a circle is not new. Mathematicians think if you start drawing a straight line and keep on drawing, eventually you will get to where you started. The circle is the perfect form. It has no beginning and no end.

You’re getting a little complicated. What makes you think people will follow this line of reasoning?

What is important is Einstein and other physicists theorize there is a point at which time stops. There would be no before and no after, only now. It would be a place where God could exist.

You’ve described a point where time stands still and there is a ball containing all the material of the universe sitting there absolutely still.

The ball, motionless, would always be and always was, as time would stand still. The bursting into motion, the big bang would take some act. It would take an infinite amount of energy. The ball is nothing. All of its motion and energy have been depleted. It does not have the capability of inducing motion. It cannot generate energy. The ball, in the middle of nowhere with nothing around, will stay a ball. Something had to kick start it into motion and that something had to have a reason. There is no reason for anything to start on its own. A reason and the necessary energy had to

come from outside of the ball. That had to come from God. There would be no universe and no me unless there is a God, all-powerful, omnipotent, and with infinite energy. He reaches out to the ball and tosses it with an enormous amount of energy. The ball has motion and begins to break apart and matter, as we know it begins to form. With speed, you have mass and you have time. You have the beginning and you have God. With the beginning and with God you have a reason. There was a reason for it all to start.

That’s a hypothesis. If it were true, you would find some evidence that there is a reason to it all.

I think I can come up with a reason for God to throw the ball out. It may be a bit of a reach but it is feasible. My problem is it needs a lot of groundwork before it can be seriously considered.

You need to jump forward to where the words in the Bible take on meaning. Keep your explanation simple and discussion can be held in abeyance.

In the Book of Genesis, there are two stories of creation. What if there were in fact two creations? The first story of creation has God creating the heavens and the earth and then man. Later in the Book of Genesis, there is a comment that God walks and talks in the Garden of Eden. My contention is that God resides in a place absence of matter. God is where time stands still and there is zero speed. For God to be present it would mean the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve were originally created in the spiritual world. Adam and Eve would be with God where matter does not exist. In reality, the Garden of Eden would be the earth where God could roam. When Adam and Eve sinned and they were kicked out of the Garden, God created a new world,

one of matter. To do this He throws the ball into the void. The second creation is earth and man, as we know them. An accumulation of matter made a world where time has not stood still. Humans could suffer on earth and only regain heaven when they had demonstrated that with free will they could obey God. That’s the reason He threw out the ball.

You have rationalized a reason for God to create the universe. What evidence is there that the planet you are on was God’s work?

The evidence is intelligent design. I think we can show the planet earth is so unique that the process of formation was because of God’s involvement. Its very structure is unique to man.

Wasn’t the planet formed by random piling on of material?

Random piling on of material would not get us the planet earth. Earth is the perfect size and placed the exact distance from the sun necessary for our life. Without the precise tilt of the planet, seasons would not exist—we would not have a planting season. Move the earth a few miles closer or farther away and then life, as we know it would not exist. The scientific notion that this just happened, that it was all random, is a notion too hard to consider. Earth is the blue planet with life, as we know it, through the grace of God.

If that small ball had all the material in the universe then why, when it exploded from God’s energy, was it not possible to randomly pack the necessary materials into the planet earth?

Geologists search through layers of rock and debris to develop an idea of how the earth was formed. It becomes obvious the planet didn’t just come together with a bang, voila and everything was here. At the start, a bunch of rock slammed together. However, rock was not enough for God’s purposes. Earth didn’t just add more rock over the ages; it added each element in just the right quantity to establish earth, as we know it. The planet added in stages what was necessary to create the world we live in. Make a list of everything present and it is easy to see that the exact mix for humans was deposited on this planet. Change the tilt of the planet, change the spin speed, change the orbit, or move the planet ever so slightly, than humanity would not begin. Miss one of the necessary elements, or fail to have large amounts of water then life, as we know it, doesn’t exist.

You don’t think random works?

Someone has said that a room full of monkeys with typewriters and all the time in the world couldn’t create a novel or a Shakespearian play. The complexity of the final product exceeds the capability of randomness. Look at a sunrise, a mountain in the early morning mist, a river with white water—look about you and realize the complexity of our world. A room full of monkeys couldn’t produce Hamlet and a big bang with material going in all directions cannot produce the planet we live on.

The planet earth is a result of intelligent design and gives proof of a God. Is that your position?

It works for me.

What about life on the planet? Are you pro evolution or are you staying with

creation?

It’s the same process. We want to deny creation. If we believe in creation then it follows, we believe in a creator—God. It is a natural next step to believe that God must have had some purpose. We want to believe we can describe the process. We develop the Big Bang Theory and rationalize chance as perfecting planet earth. Our room full of monkeys had better odds. We conclude our denial of creation with the Theory of Evolution. All of this lets us feel a little safer from an angry God. Heaven and hell are concepts we don’t have to deal with.

Where did the idea of an angry God come from?

The thought of an angry God is as old as humanity. God kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. He let loose fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah and all that lived there. He let Noah live but drowned the world’s population. If there is a God, He’s an angry one. If we deny there is a God, then we don’t have to worry about hell and damnation.

Are you still hung up on that cookie incident?

No, but let’s face it, God is a little scary.

Why?

You are all-powerful, omnipotent, and all knowing. You have a history of showing humans just how all-powerful You are.

There is the belief that I am just sitting, watching, waiting to blast you with fire and brimstone if you goof up.

You can understand it is easier to deny Your existence. There’s a lot of baggage with believing in You. Not believing in You is probably just denial. However, denial lets one relax a little. What you can’t see can’t hurt you—or something like that.

Do I scare you?

Not really.

Why not?

Because You’re God. God is everything. Especially all good.

Does your belief in God extend to the nature of God?

I think I’m getting there. I know the earth is real. This planet is unique in providing everything to allow human life to survive. If we work backwards, we can realize this planet was carefully put together much as a special cake is baked. The first ingredient giving the planet mass was not enough for life as a bowl full of flour is not enough for a cake. A cook adds the necessary ingredients in just the right amounts. God saw to it that we had the right earth. We look at the creation and recognize there has to be a creator.

Realizing the planet we live on is the result of Divine Design is really the first step in developing a belief and understanding of God. It is not only the first step, it is essential to a system of beliefs that includes God. The earth as God’s creation is where we start.

You’ve defined a planet as unique, so unique that God’s intervention was necessary. The planet was formed to a set of specifications. These specifications provided an environment that would life. Now you assert that the animal kingdom was not a random mixing of material but also a result of God’s wishes. You were going to tell me about the Theory of Evolution.

Some of my recent reading leaves me with the impression that there is a huge body of knowledge ing Darwin’s theories. I recently read of an experiment with lizards. The researchers were convinced they had proven the Theory of Evolution.

Yet, you will offer negligible data in comparison to the volumes of evidence ing evolution. Without stacks of bones or a laboratory crammed with the latest scientific equipment, you will argue against the Theory of Evolution.

I think there is a strong argument to be made that will provide additional evidence of intelligent design.

Do you want me to have faith?

No, I don’t mean to imply that You lack any knowledge. Sometimes I am carried away with my arguments and I lack the proper comportment for talking to God.

For failing to bow just right, God is waiting to nail your ass to the nearest tree.

Isn’t swearing a big sin?

Be careful. The Commandment is, You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God, in vain. Exodus 20:7. You would think humans would get the message. God is the only God and very sensitive to anything that suggest otherwise. The use of His name in vain trivializes His position on high. Keep to your task, evolution, .

The basis for evolution is that genes, which are the building blocks of a species, randomly and consistently mutate. This can bring about some small change in the species. Theoretically, if this new trait improves the animal’s ability to adapt to the environment, then the modification will persist. The new improved model will outlive the old model and produce more offspring, ergo gradual change to the species as the process is repeated. Eventually the new breed is better looking, runs faster, and can fight better. Obviously the new style attracts all the girls or vice versa. This theory seems to make more argument for intelligent design. For evolution to work and create new species, these mutations have to work with an objective in mind. You have to grow from a one-cell animal into a dinosaur. I don’t think we’ve had enough years to go from microscopic to Tyrannosaurus Rex depending only on random changes. When we look at humans, you must wonder what natural selection does to improve the species. As far as I can see, girls are selecting every conceivable type as fathers for their children. Good looks, brawn, brains, money all come into play. I just don’t see any improvement process. Nerds who couldn’t get a date in high school have little problem once their company goes public and the first million is made. The rich and successful seem to limit the amount of children while the poor practice little birth control. Just as gene mutation is

random, the selection process would appear to be random. We would like to believe the strongest male gets the largest harem. However, the smallest and weakest member seems to sneak in and plant his seed. Lions have not grown bigger and stronger. The elephant doesn’t change.

Haven’t they found fossils of animals that demonstrate this gradual change? They can chart an evolutionary line that shows modest change from one species to the next.

There was a monkey swinging in the tree and then some of them started walking. Walking would have created additional exposure to predators on the ground. I fail to see walking as a better feature. The animal on all fours suddenly stands up and walks on two. Great for picking fruit but not so great for outrunning a predator. The theory of evolution requires random changes to create new species. What happens when there is a new species? What happens when a change is visible and makes the new animal different? How well does the mating selection go? How does the two-legged male chase down a four-legged female?

Are you worried about whether your ancestors were having sex with a chimpanzee?

I seriously doubt that could happen. The same scientists pushing evolution tell us mating between different species will not produce fertile young. Yet in order for evolution to work, a new species would have to mate and produce fertile young? The first of the new species would be a unique individual, probably unable to get a date.

Not exactly scientific.

There’s more. Every piece of evidence is collected and evaluated based on the here and now. The biggest problem in looking back in time is we live today and not then. We can only relate based on the empirical data of today. Bones are discovered and then assembled based on the body of evidence collected from current animals. Our knowledge of today’s animals gives us insight as to what the bone discovery means. We don’t know whether the animal from the distant past walked on their hands and swung from trees with their feet. Who knows? We find a big foot and conjure up a huge creature. What if it was a small animal with a clubfoot? There are no pictures of yesterday. A picture in an anthropology book shows a primate on two feet walking. The primate is white, has a beard, and has long hair —trimmed by the way. Why not yellow, or brown, or black? Why not bald? Maybe dinosaurs did fly. Maybe what we’ve constructed, based on today, is all wrong. We just don’t know. We only conjecture what was, based on what is. There are not enough years or thousands of years to create the being that can think, believe, question, love, hate, or generally act like a human being.

All right then how did humans come about?

Not by evolution. Scientists want to believe in evolution. They explain away each piece of evidence that doesn’t fit with their preconceived notions. Last year we all came from Lucy, some set of bones found in Africa. Now I hear they have to throw out all their old ideas because there is a new set of bones. They didn’t have it right before, but now they do.

Do you have it right?

We all start with cells and in each cell is a set of instructions that causes the cell to reproduce in a certain way as to produce a particular species. The set of instructions is carried by DNA. Each cell in an animal has an exact replicate of the original DNA. Every aspect of cellular structure and behavior is dictated by the DNA. There are only four chemical bases in DNA. The different instructions are communicated by varying the order of these four bases.

You’re saying that although an animal is complicated, the basic instruction to build that animal starts with just four chemical bases.

To create a human you don’t need to evolve from a long line of similar animals, you can actually start up from scratch. If we mix our four bases in just the right manner—voila we have a human. Every species known and unknown started as that—a mixture of four bases. Natural selection helped each species evolve and some species didn’t make it. One species does not evolve into another.

Four bases come together in a myriad of permutations and combinations. Why not random mixing?

As research gets more data, they map out the combination of the four bases for each animal. These four bases can be combined in so many ways that all the animals on earth can be explained. I’ve probably oversimplified the process. What is difficult is that every cell in each animal is a repeat of every other cell in the animal. Every cell in a human contains the exact same set of genes. This is true with cells that become bone, or skin, or hair, or any other part of the body. During pregnancy as the embryo grows, two cells, absolutely alike, suddenly change. One cell begins to look like a bone—the other a heart. The complexity is

enormous. The diversification of cell types from a single type is more than random behavior. Maybe God started out with random mixes. At some point the randomness stops and God defines our current world. Each species is now a combination designed by God. We read constantly of scientists being able to map the DNA for a species. They have been able to link certain genes to different traits. They now know if you have gene 456, you will have autism, etc., etc. There is something not defined in all of this mapping. What tells a stem cell to become a rib or a backbone or brain matter? How does a stem cell know what its final shape and form is? How does the beginning cell know when to develop brains, bones, or any other feature? Divine design determines when a cell changes. We are here not by the random jumbling of four bases but by Divine Design.

You believe in creation and you believe in God.

The earth is positioned at just the right angle and distance from the sun. The materials necessary to produce life are added to the mixture of rock and debris in just the right proportions. Four base chemicals are put together in combinations that are unique to a species. We may associate certain combinations with certain characteristics but we don’t know how and when the differentiation between cells occurs. The result is not random it’s an intelligent design.

I’m really staying in the moment. You started at the beginning and you reached a point where you believe in God and creation, not on faith but by reason. Many before you have found God through reason. Reason puts God and creation together, but where are you headed now?

To bed, good night God, watch over me as I sleep.

Chapter 3

GOD!

The saga continues.

I think I’m just getting started. There are so many questions about You. I have spent a lifetime trying to come up with answers. I understand Your reluctance to share with me but it would make it a lot easier if You would maybe give me just a couple of hints.

How do you think you’ve gotten as far as you have? My hints are everywhere. You’re surrounded with the wonders of the world. You’ve seen both good and evil. Don’t you think you have clues about Me?

There are so many things that testify to Your power and magnificence, but nothing about You. We live on a huge ball of matter hurling through space at a tremendous speed. Our solar system is balanced perfectly. Our planet has all that we need to live. All of these things prove Your existence and Your power. I think it also gives credence to the love You must have for us.

Isn’t it enough to know I exist and to know I love you? You’ve argued that if you exist then there must be God. Everything else just adds to this primary conclusion. When you start to try to define God, you run into some of the same questions the early church leaders had. The failure to find adequate answers has led to a consensus argument that you can reason the existence of God but not the

nature of God. You have to believe through faith and Divine Revelation.

Many think they have reasoned Your existence. I think it was Aristotle who reasoned You were everything. You were all the matter in existence, and we are all a part of You. That small ball of compressed material explodes into the universe and me.

Aristotle was never considered “good reading.” The Church considered believing in anything he said as blasphemy. The problem is Theology tries to deal with God but stumbles with reason and then ends up dealing with faith and religion.

That’s because we can’t get to what You are by reason. We haven’t found a way to believe in You unless we believe in You.

You’re a little convoluted but understandable. Have you found a way to know what I am?

Not yet. My problem is I really believe in You. There are times I feel Your presence. Throughout my first thirteen years, my thoughts and my behavior were shaped and guided by nuns. They believed in You, they constantly served You, and regardless of the shame and disgrace the activities of the Catholic Church brought upon them, they never wavered in their faith. I in eighth grade when studying World History the Middle Ages were referred to as the Dark Ages. They were the shame years and not to be mentioned. My curiosity drove me to read about world history. It is a sad commentary on religion when you see what religious fervor has done to this world. I’ve learned

about the many travesties to the human race done in the name of God. It seems this is one of the constants throughout history. I’ve studied many religions. I’ve read the Koran, or at least a translation. I’ve been to the Vatican and St. Peter’s Cathedral. I’ve listened to so many sermons; I think I’ve heard it all. Although my faith and belief in religions have been stifled, my faith and belief in God has never wavered. Is my faith and belief based on a reasonable conclusion derived from the facts, as I know them?

I can’t answer that question. I know that throughout the ages the question has been asked. You find God but you don’t know what to do with Him. What does He want? What are the rules? How do you stay in His good graces?

The data has to be there. I can’t believe we can’t know who God is. Too many very intelligent people have come up with partial answers. Now is the time to try to put it all together. My intuition has gotten me this far. I need to collect all the data I think applies and then develop a reasonable explanation.

I’m listening.

We’ve already discussed Aristotle’s linking God to all things. Spinoza found God in the order of things, maybe not too different an approach. Both end up with an indifferent God. Many primitive societies link God and nature together. We come from the earth, we will return to the earth. Dust to dust and ashes to ashes. It’s a prevalent theme. In the second story of creation, Genesis 2:7,

The Lord God formed man out of the clay of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life, and so man became a living being.

As one reads different philosophers, physicists, and mathematicians, one gets the view that believing in God is not difficult when viewing the nature of things. There is a belief that the consistency of laws governing our very existence gives credence to an intelligent design. Maybe not so far as believing in creation but believing that the order of the universe substantiates the idea there is purpose to it all. There is something at work here. We can call that something God.

What have you gained over Aristotle or Spinoza? You haven’t separated God from the universe.

I can. I have to start with the Big Bang Theory. The Theory that the entire universe was once contained in a small ball. This ball then exploded and created the universe.

You’re staying with established science.

Yes and no, I’m not sure I need to argue the right or wrong of this theory. I just think we should carefully look at the pieces.

Go slow. This is probably the cornerstone of your argument. You want to avoid your tendency to simplify the complicated and complicate the simple.

I’m not sure I follow You but I will go slow. I agree this is the start. It’s the one point I find myself in agreement with science.

The ball has to have infinite gravity. Nothing escapes from it. Matter as you know it cannot exist as everything is compressed into the ball.

Think of it. There is this ball, just sitting there. Matter as we know it has movement. The ball is absolutely still. Nothing moves. Around it is a void, a space without anything. There is no air, no oxygen, hydrogen, or anything else. There is just the ball and the void. It is still. There is no movement. Time stands still.

This is where you find God.

This is where there has to be a God. Without God, the ball will just stand still. Surrounding the ball is a void, an area containing absolute nothing. There is nothing but the ball. Stop and think about it. Before the big bang, before the universe, before mankind, there is a ball containing everything—there is nothing else. Yet, there has to be something. There has to be God.

Is God a part of the void?

As is the ball.

Why not have the ball and God be the same? You would follow Aristotle’s

thoughts.

If we follow that thought then God is indifferent. If God is indifferent then why have the ball explode? Why would there be a Big Bang? The ball contains all the matter of the universe, yet it is not matter. It can’t explode on its own. This is not a giant planet or sun. This is compression beyond anything we’ve seen or know about. This is a homogeneous still ball. This is a ball that on our level of existence cannot be.

Okay, you have the ball and God as two separate entities existing on a level of reality different from earth and mankind.

God and the ball exist on a plane where time stands still. There is no material world. For lack of a better word, let’s call this level of existence spiritual. God and the ball exist in a spiritual world. It’s only when the ball explodes that we have a material world. There are then two separate levels of existence.

God exists as an entity that can cause the ball to explode. God is the start of the universe and the material world you live in.

I don’t think we realize how violent that explosion was. Look at the pictures we’ve captured of the universe, massive planets, suns all colliding with each other. A trillion hydrogen bombs are going off at the same time. The environment is violent and destructive. Think of the huge amount of energy that God has put into that ball. He’s created the material world. God doesn’t exist in our universe. He created it. Time is existent in the universe.

On earth, we have time. We have yesterday, today, and tomorrow. God doesn’t exist here on earth. He exists where He ever was, ever is, and ever will be. There is a separation from my world and God’s world. In the beginning, there was God and this small ball.

God and the ball existed in the spiritual world, a different plane. This is a level of existence where time is stopped. When the ball explodes, it becomes its own plane. It has time, matter, the earth, and you.

The thought that God exists in another plane or time zone from the universe He created is not new with me. St Augustine, in the early fifth century AD in the latter part of Confessions, wrote he believed God existed outside of time. Einstein has provided a rational basis for this belief.

Augustine didn’t have the benefit of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. I would think you could attribute his thinking to revelation. Now you repeat the belief but attribute your thinking to reason. Both of you have offered a solution to a God who ever was and who ever will be.

There is a plane where God exists and matter, as we know it, cannot exist, where we cannot exist. It is spiritual. There is a plane where the universe exists, where matter exists, and where we exist. It is material.

You’ve argued the existence of God, and you have argued He created the universe. The two worlds coexist.

I have the impression that material cannot exist in the spiritual world and spirits cannot exist in the material world. The material world will last but an instant in time whereas the spiritual world lasts forever.

Humanity and your world will not last forever. Your right, the spiritual world lasts forever.

It’s understandable that humans cannot visit or enter into the spiritual world. Matter does not exist in Your realm. However, can spirits enter my world?

Your impression that neither can cross over between the two levels of existence is partially right. As you said, matter cannot exist in my realm. Spirits are a different thing. They cannot exist in your world as matter. That means you cannot see or touch them; they cannot move or touch matter. They can move you through your spirit, that voice in your head. Your gut sense, your conscience is your spirit or soul trying to influence you. That is how you can talk to God.

You are a different entity. You are all powerful. You exist in another world, where time stands still. You created the universe we live in, where time moves. As You are all powerful, You must be able to cross between the two universes at will. Evidence suggests that You might not cross in the physical sense. Since Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, no one has seen God. Your voice has boomed from a burning bush but no one has seen You. Yet we’ve heard from You and You have made Your presence known or felt. You must cross between the two places on some basis.

I deal with the spiritual part of you, your soul. You are right as I am allpowerful, I can deal with matter. However, life as you know it cannot stand to be in my Presence.

You exist where time has stopped. Our universe is a creation of something removed from Your setting. Sitting back on your throne or leather couch You toss out a small compressed ball, a ball that once in motion will contain energy, more energy than we could ever imagine. As You watch the explosion and the scattering of matter throughout a void, You interfere with the random outcome. You create our small portion of the universe. Our galaxy is formed and You select a sun of just the right size and heat. Around this ball of fire, matter swirls to form a planet. You nudge this planet into an orbit at just the right distance. As You look at the spinning mass of rock, You begin to add the materials necessary to life. Carbon based minerals sprinkle the surface. Oxygen is added to an otherwise hostile atmosphere. You top this off with huge quantities of water, not just a drop here and there but large oceans of life giving water. The blue planet is formed and alive. You douse the planet with chemical bases— adenine, thymine, cytosine, and guanine. Then You begin to form life. You seed the new hillsides and mountains with trees, shrubbery and grasses, the food stock necessary to life. You then exercise Your creative juices and stir up the chemical bases, forming insects, bacteria, fishes, and animals of all shapes and sizes. The living picture You create is unprecedented in both kingdoms—the one here on earth and the one where You reside. The chemical bases combine in a random of species. Dinosaurs roam the early earth, well suited to its environs but not well suited to Your plans.

Where did that come from?

I don’t know. It’s an interpretation of what I think happened. The mixture of chemical bases created all sorts of life. To be life, this mixture had to have Your hand in it. Life is more than just a stirring of bases. You had to put in the differentiation of cells and a time line. It didn’t just happen. I just can’t believe humans were just another animal. We have a soul and probably much more—we are created in Your image.

I think when things went awry You weren’t ready to end Your creation. You saw to it that humans would continue to be and would flourish. It is somewhat puzzling as to why you gave everyone such a short life. Maybe it’s because it didn’t take long for Adam and Eve to go against your wishes. Maybe the short life we have is all the time we need to show you we deserve to go to heaven.

Did all of this just come to you? Was it a revelation?

No, absolutely not. What happens is I take everything I have learned and put it together in a plausible scenario. I paint a picture in my head and then write. I use the same process when writing fiction novels.

Where does it get you? Do you find the truth or are you just dealing with more fiction?

Fiction is a tale without facts. Everything is made up. You start with characters you have designed and then put them together to make a story. What I think we’re doing is starting with facts. I’ve concluded from what I can observe that the earth was a creation of God. I have also argued man is God’s creation. In an opposing line of reasoning, scientists have argued for randomness as the cause for earth and humans. I think we have sufficient evidence that the earth is peculiar and not a mishmash of material. The design is evident. As with the planet, humans are a peculiar set of like cells that diversify on some sort of signal. Earth and everything on it is the result of a design by God. That ball could not erupt on its own. Randomness does not enter into the equation, God is the designer. The existence of a unique and perfect earth with unique and imperfect humans has a purpose. We are Your creation and You have something in mind for us.

Your picture indicates everything went wrong with God’s creation of man. Free will meant the right to disobey. You have God rather upset with it all. What about that?

I think at the beginning You created a beautiful garden and invited a man and a woman to enjoy it with You. You wanted some company and a place to enjoy the visits. Things didn’t go as planned.

If that’s true and it went wrong why not just wipe it out. Erase the board and start over.

I think starting all over or just giving up would be high on my list of probable outcomes. However, it’s possible that Adam and Eve were created in Your world, the spiritual one. Their spirit had only two options. It could live an eternity with God or live an eternity without God.

So why not ban Adam and Eve to the dark void? Lucifer got them into their problem. Lucifer can have them.

Logic and reasoning are Your gifts to us. Logic and reasoning would lead me to the conclusion that You had not given Adam and Eve free will.

What gives you that idea?

Free will means you make the choice between good and evil. It’s a choice you are free to make. If, however, you are not allowed to see both options clearly

then you don’t have free will. God’s commandment to Adam and Eve was not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and bad. That was in spite of the fact that they had to know of both good and bad in order for their will to be free. Choosing good when that is all you know is not a free choice. The two had to have a choice to do good or to do bad. Only then does man have free will.

You’re not suggesting God made a mistake, are you?

No, I think God sets things in motion and doesn’t interfere. God knew Lucifer could make his presence known. Adam and Eve would present a new opportunity. God knew the angels left in heaven had freely chosen God. Adam and Eve would have to do the same. Instead, they chose Lucifer. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s simple commandment, everything changed.

It’s the reason God threw out that ball and created the planet earth, animals and a new Adam and Eve. Without the original sin there is no universe, there is no big bang. He created humans to live out there life on earth. What do you think happened?

The humans were made of matter and existed under the Laws of Nature, as did all the animals on earth. Man, however, was special. That breath of life was Adam’s soul. All humans would be born and God will blow into their nostrils the breath of life, a soul.

Do you think this meant Adam and Eve would have a second chance?

Yes, Adam and Eve were made in Your image in the Garden of Eden. They were in Your realm. You could walk and talk with them. When they sinned, You

created a man and a woman on this earth as humans. You banned them from the Garden by taking their souls and breathing them into two new humans on earth. Every offspring of these two original humans would receive a soul and the tests began.

So, why the process? Why did God create a universe, the planet earth, and humans? Don’t you think God has the power to reverse his first creation?

I don’t question His power. I just think there’s something about being in God’s image and having a soul that allowed this planet, with humans on board, to exist, and allowed the tests to begin.

Then what?

Adam and Eve would live out their lives knowing about good and evil. They would not live in the plush comfort of the Garden of Eden but under harsh conditions as only the earth can provide. They and all their offspring would atone for their sin.

You’re arguing in favor of the Original Sin.

Not completely. Eve could have chosen God over Lucifer. The allure of being a god convinced her to sin. Adam and Eve were ill suited to deal with Lucifer because they only knew good. To gain knowledge of evil, Adam and Eve had to sin. They had to violate Your commandment not to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree. Maybe we suffer the sin of Adam and Eve in the sense that we must live out our

lives on earth. We must be exposed to evil. We must experience sin in order to know it. We have to opt for good while knowing there is another choice, evil.

God devised a test and those who ed would be guests in His house. Those that didn’t would not be invited.

Sounds familiar, but not being invited doesn’t sound like hell and damnation.

Why are you so convinced that God is just waiting to send you into the fiery reaches of a hell? This hell is known only to man. You seem stuck on hell and damnation for those that sin. The existence of evil is bothering to you but not to Me.

Evil exists and it’s very involved in the test of Yours. Lucifer conned Eve into going against God’s wishes. Lucifer and all the sinners seem to compete actively for souls. If they were banned from heaven, why not get a lot of company. The age-old good versus evil, black versus white—the guests versus the non-guests. Is there a competition for souls?

Not exactly.

I get the impression there is a pull or an influence for souls to do evil. I know You wouldn’t influence behavior by offering immediate gratification but evil is not so disposed. You play by the rules. There has to be free will—no undue influence. The other side doesn’t care about the rules. Free will be damned, let’s just get some more souls down here.

That’s possible. The existence of evil is necessary. One must know both sides if there is to be free will to choose.

The choice doesn’t seem like a fair fight. Lucifer is actively trying to gain souls for the bad side. Who is helping souls for the good side?

How much help does humanity need? All the prophets and so many others have laid out the path to the Kingdom of Heaven. You have priests, imams, pastors, rabbis, and whatever. You have religions for every day of the week, every week of the year and every year of the century. You have all of this and you say it doesn’t seem fair.

All that help seems to be in the wrong direction. Religions are more interested in preserving the religion. I think I can deal with the religious but I have difficulty in dealing with the religions. They seem to spend more time on building monuments to worship in and argue about. Then they go to war over who is the RIGHT one. Did You tell them to spend millions on leaded glass windows and watch their neighbors go hungry? Did You tell them war and confrontation are better than caring and love? I get it. You’re pissed because we just don’t seem to get it and you’re getting tired of telling us.

No, not pissed, disappointed would be a better word.

Maybe the message is too simple. Maybe we just don’t know how to that test. Maybe the test is too hard. There’s not many Mother Theresa’s.

You wouldn’t give up all your possessions and work for the poor, live amongst them in all of their squalor?

If that’s the mark, I think the Kingdom of Heaven is going to be very lonely.

Well, it doesn’t work for everyone.

What does work? You say you’ve told us the way to the Kingdom of Heaven so many times you’re getting a little tired of it all.

Christians hold up the Bible as the Word of God. They believe every Word as coming from God. Exodus 21:23-26 reads as follows,

Do not make anything to rank with me; neither gods of silver nor gods of gold shall you make for yourselves. An altar of earth you shall make for me, and upon it you shall sacrifice your holocausts and peace offerings, your sheep and your oxen. In whatever place I choose for the remembrance of my name I will come to you and bless you. If you make an altar of stone for me, do not build it of cut stone, for by putting a tool to it you desecrate it. You shall not go up by steps to my altar, on which you must not be indecently uncovered.

Why isn’t the advice accepted as the Word of God? In Luke 9:1-4, there is further advice,

Jesus now called the Twelve together and gave them power and authority to

overcome all demons and to cure diseases. He sent them forth to proclaim the reign of God and heal the afflicted. Jesus advised them: “Take nothing for the journey, neither walking staff nor traveling bag; no bread, no money. No one is to have two coats. Stay at whatever house you enter and proceed from there.”

How does one explain the silk robes and the expensive suits? How does one explain traveling first class? How does one explain the wealth associated with preaching the Word, whether Koran or Bible or . . . ?

I think Paul is probably the one who set the pattern. In many of his epistles, he comments on receiving gifts. In Philippians 4:16-17,

. . . you sent something for my needs, not once but twice. It is not that I am eager for the gift; rather, my concern is for the ever-growing balance in your .

By the fourth century AD, the Church was rich with donated property and money. Do You get tired of all the wealth collected in your name?

You’re the one who said an omnipotent and all-powerful God does not get tired.

Omnipotent and all-powerful can be somewhat scary. A twitch and I’m condemned to an eternity of dark and cold nothing.

I don’t just sit waiting for you to make a mistake and then pounce all over you. All these years I’ve been your confessor, your mentor, your sounding board, but

most of all I’ve been your friend.

You left out that You are my God.

That’s something you’re still struggling with.

That and what’s it all about. You’ve still not said anything about the wealth created in Your name and spent on furnishing, jewelry, fancy houses or should I say mansions.

It’s foolish to ask. You’ve answered many questions on your own. What makes you think you need help?

I’m making some giant leaps of faith to get to this point. I don’t have proof. It just seems to make sense. My fellow man needs help and I can’t ignore him if I believe in God’s message. I believe in God, one God, all-powerful, omnipotent, who has always been, and will always be. I believe in creation. I believe we have a soul and I believe there is a heaven and a hell. I believe your soul goes to one or the other based on your life here on earth. You have to earn where you go.

That’s a huge jump from “Cognito ergo sum”.

What is a huge jump is that my hereafter is based on my life here on earth. The Koran is adamant in this regard. You have to live your life right. All of this deviates quite a bit from the early Christian beliefs.

How so?

The only test for early Christians was to have faith and believe in the Apostles’ Creed. Do this and you were saved.

A little argument about that, isn’t there? Didn’t the Christians in the 4th century AD disavow the existence of an Apostles’ Creed?

There is little written evidence. The early Church was very skilled at destroying any writings that put forth any different or opposing ideas. Some references to an Apostles’ Creed have survived and there is enough to put together a plausible story. The Apostles had been with Jesus through most if not all of the ministry. They were witness to the crucifixion and now they were faced with following Jesus’ final instruction. In Mark 16: 15-16, Jesus says,

Go into the whole world and proclaim the good news to all creation. The man who believes in it and accepts baptism will be saved; the man who refuses to believe in it will be condemned.

They agreed that to be accepted into the Church a person had to confess to a belief. That belief had not been set down. There were no written words to follow. As a first act before leaving on their ministries, the Apostles wanted to agree on a statement of belief that would define the heart and soul of Christianity. Discussion amongst the twelve failed to lead to any accord. The compromise was to let each Apostle put forth one basic tenet necessary to become a

Christian. The resultant twelve statements became the Apostles’ Creed. Avow your belief in the twelve fundamentals of Christianity, repeat these same fundamentals (the Apostles’ Creed) aloud in front of witnesses, and immerse yourself in water symbolizing the washing away of all sin. Do this and salvation was at hand. Before disbursing to spread the word of Jesus, the Apostles memorized the twelve statements. I think we forget that the method for distribution of information was by word of mouth. Newspapers weren’t yet available and the six o’clock news wasn’t a part of the evening activities. Each speaker preached based on memory. Rabbis memorized the Torah and preached from memory. The Apostles memorized their Creed.

In 325 at the First Ecumenical Council of Nicaea, the Nicene Creed was adopted and written in Greek. Although it looked surprisingly like the Apostles’ Creed the significant difference was “His Son, Jesus Christ” became “one Lord Jesus Christ . . . very God of God . . . being of one substance with the Father.” The divinity of Jesus was affirmed whereas the Apostles had not made that distinction. In 381 at the Second Ecumenical Council, the Creed was modified to add the divinity of the Holy Ghost and written in both Greek and Latin. The language differences added to continuing arguments relating to the nature of Jesus. The new Creed emphasized and to some ended argument regarding the existence of the Trinity as a basic tenet of Christian belief. The Nicene Creed may have appeared somewhat similar to the Apostles’ Creed but the differences were critical to the Church. Because of those differences, the Church chose to argue against the existence of the Apostles’ Creed.

The problem with the Apostles’ Creed, and in some respects with the Bible itself, was its failure to establish the Trinity, three Gods in one, as a lynchpin of Christian belief. The Apostles’ Creed cited Jesus as the son of God with no mention of divinity. The Nicene Creed of 325 cited the divinity of Jesus but not the Holy Ghost. The Nicene Creed of 381 added the divinity of the Holy Ghost.

In the very early period after Jesus’ crucifixion, the divinity of Jesus was not a part of the Church’s belief. In the Jewish tradition, Jesus was proffered as the Messiah in fulfillment of the Scriptures. Following this early belief, the Koran has Jesus as a prophet, one of many. Different sects grappled with the question of divinity. Many argued the message from Jesus did not rise or fall on the divinity question. The Trinity wasn’t an easy concept. It’s clear the Church wanted to close all argument on the issue with the Nicene Creed. Any other belief became heretical. We will never know all the arguments that took place as the Church actively destroyed all documents that gave a different interpretation of Jesus.

Where do you stand on this question?

Most prayers in Christian churches end with the phrase, In the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ, amen. Although the prevalent prayer is a prayer to God the Father, the Our Father, almost all other prayer is to Jesus or in Jesus’ name. I can’t reconcile the onition from God, that there is only one true God, with making Jesus a God. Jesus voiced monotheism as the greatest and first Commandment. Matthew 22:36-38 reads,

Teacher, which commandment of the law is the greatest?” Jesus said to him: “You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment.”

I cannot conclude that there is any other God or any other Holy. There is just too much evidence that God demands God as a singular thought. When you go through the process to determine there is a God, there is no room for another. When you try to determine God’s message than Jesus and the Bible is prevalent. The message preached by Jesus is not degraded by believing in only one God.

The earliest Christian position is, you have to have faith, or so the saying goes.

Thomas Aquinas, during the 13th century AD tried to help things out. He allowed reason to come into the argument. You could study everything available and reason the existence of God. Reason and study, however, could not explain the Trinity and the nature of Jesus. Reason would lead to God the Father. Jesus was the son of God, and the Holy Ghost was sent by God the Father. The existence of the Trinity, whereby Jesus was elevated to God the Son and the Holy Ghost became God the Holy Ghost, can only be known through faith. The concept of three Gods in One cannot be reasoned. Aquinas let Divine Revelation solve the problem. You could reason the existence of God but salvation was only through studying the scriptures and listening to the authorities who have had Divine Revelation. Christian tradition has always cited faith as the requirement for entry into the Kingdom of Heaven.

The message is simple. Your faith is in the teachings of those who have had Divine Revelation. Faith in God and the nature of God comes from listening to those who have been instructed by God, those who have had Divine Revelation.

Paul, in his epistle to the Galatians 1:11-12, although not one of the twelve apostles and although he did not know or travel with Jesus, cites the following as his authority to preach,

I assure you, brothers, the gospel I proclaimed to you is no mere human invention. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I schooled in it. It came by revelation from Jesus Christ.

Divine Revelation—first or second hand will get you the knowledge you need.

Paul must have been a dynamic speaker. He went on to change the struggling Church from a Jewish sect to a religion for gentiles. When the gentiles objected to circumcision and following Mosaic Law, the break came. The newfound Church broke away from its base. It becomes difficult to believe, as many do, that the Bible is the word of the Lord, every word to be believed and followed.

You have to believe, no one can make you do that.

Accept Jesus and you will be saved. As with the Apostles, faith in the teachings of the Church will lead to salvation. How can just faith be the answer? Don’t reason, don’t use that marvelous brain God gave you, just read the words and believe. One serious argument about Jesus concentrated on the fact Jesus was born, the virgin birth. As God ever was and ever will be, how can we claim Jesus to be God when he was born of the Virgin Mary. Jesus was born, God ever was. The argument was oversimplified but was the basis of an opposing view at the time. Forget all that. Go to church and sing songs and praise the Lord, and you will go to heaven. Oh, by the way don’t forget to tithe.

You’re getting a little antagonistic aren’t you?

If You exist, if You have something to do with life here on earth, then I don’t need songs or praise. I can find You. I can know You and I can understand You on a personal level—no church, no religion, no faith—just You and me.

Where do we go from here?

I’m going to bed. Good night, God.

Sleep well and keep dry.

Chapter 4

GOD!

A new day, and a new question needs to be answered.

Just one.

To know God.

Yes. I know You exist. I know You made the world. I know I am Your creation. That is just the beginning. Knowing there is a God and knowing there is creation just starts the questions. It doesn’t answer them.

You still want to know who I am.

And if You’re You.

Are the words and ideas in your head coming from you or Me? What am I all about? Why am I here? You have a one-track mind. Haven’t we answered all your questions?

It’s not that I keep asking the same questions. It’s just that I’m not sure of myself. The subject matter is important. I know You aren’t going to do more than nudge the voice in my head. However, have you thought about giving me a hand here? Believing there is a God doesn’t tell who or what God is. Are You animate, inanimate, or something else? Do You care ? Do You interfere in this world? Are You cold and indifferent? Who or what is God?

Do you really think I will supply the answers? You’ve stated that your mere existence is confirmation of My participation.

I don’t think there is any question that God threw that ball out and caused this universe. The chaos and violence everywhere except here on earth gives credit to Your existence. Ipso facto, I think is the term. However, we’re dealing with that voice in my head, my conscience. Let’s face it; if you’re God and not a figment of my imagination then You know the answers. The question is will You share that with anyone here on earth. Religion has gone through hundreds of years believing You instruct us through Divine Revelation. Revelation is the only way to know God. Aristotle tried to find God through logic and reasoning. His beliefs were banned. Believing or even reading Aristotle was blasphemy. You could be deemed a heretic. Something that wasn’t too healthy in a Catholic world.

Yet, here you are trying to find God through reasoning.

I’d go for the revelation but You won’t step in.

Stop and think a minute. You say you want to know the who, what, and where of God. What would happen if you knew that? I mean knew it for sure.

I’d know how to stay out of hell and get into heaven. A short austere life here on earth is better than forever in a dark, cold void. The knowledge would keep me on the straight and narrow.

Do you the Act of Contrition? It’s the prayer said at the end of Confession. It’s a Catholic thing.

I haven’t said it in a while. I think it goes, “Oh my God I am heartily sorry for having sinned because of Your just punishment, but most of all because it offends Thee my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love.”

What do you think it means?

The first part has to do with just punishment. So many people have feared God and His just punishment. Stories in the Old Testament cite God’s destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Then there’s Noah’s Ark and the great flood. There’s a story in the early part of Acts where a couple sell their property to donate to the new Christian community. They hold just a little back for a rainy day. They didn’t contribute everything. Boom—they were dead. We’re raised to fear You and Your punishment.

I truly wonder how you can consider such death and destruction my just punishment. It seems your religious instruction put the fear of God in you.

Fear is used by everyone, not just religions. Governments rely on fear to act as they wish. Fear is used to justify taking away civil rights. Bullies wouldn’t exist without fear. Politicians rely on fear to get your vote. Why not use it to promote a religion? Abide by the rule or suffer the heavy hand of an angry God.

Does an angry vengeful God make sense?

Maybe not, but it is part of our culture.

What about the second part of the prayer?

That covers us in case You aren’t an angry vengeful God.

If I answer all your questions then you would know whether to act out of fear of God or out of love for God.

I guess it really doesn’t matter which—fear or love. I would not want to sin.

What about free choice? Are you choosing not to sin because that’s what you want or because of the threat of just punishment or the promise of reward?

I think we’re getting to the point that You are not going to jump in and answer any questions.

I knew you weren’t stupid.

Do You expect me to figure it out all on my own?

What I want is for you to the test. I have a kingdom waiting for the right kind of souls.

I don’t know that I can that test. I’m not religious. I have a problem with most religions—actually with all religions.

Religions make it hard for anyone to believe. Believe in this religion and you will be saved. Believe in the wrong religion and you’re doomed. This religion is the right one, this one is the wrong one. Let’s not tolerate the Jews, the Catholics, the Christians, the Muslims, and . . . and . . . and . . . .

Have a problem with religion?

Not really. I was voicing some of your comments throughout the years. What I think is somewhat odd is that despite all those feelings you always end up calling yourself a Catholic.

I call myself a Catholic because that was how I was raised. I feel comfortable with the rites and the prayers. I would probably be excommunicated for my real beliefs.

Then why call yourself a Catholic?

Out of all the religions I know, I am most comfortable as a Catholic. When I spent those afternoons with a Jesuit priest, I was exposed to another side of Catholicism. It was not dogmatic. It would accept reason as a valid method for believing. It accepted questioning. I guess not being dogmatic is most important. I don’t feel how or why I believe has anything to do with ing your test. I believe it’s what I do, how I behave, the person I am. This is blasphemy in many religions. They are more concerned with whether or not you believe. Believing is the test.

Don’t you have to believe?

Somewhere in the Bible, a chapter or verse says You will make Yourself known to all peoples. People do not need to be a part of the civilized world and receive religious instruction in order to the test. A child is born in deepest darkest Africa. He is raised to war with everyone, to kill his enemies (and everyone is his enemy), to steal, and to commit every sin in the book and then some. How can he any test?

He can love God and do unto others, as he would want others to do unto him.

How does he know God?

He knows God in a sunset, in the cool of the morning, and in the majesty of the land and his surrounds. Through these, he will know there is a God and he will

learn to love God. The opportunity will exist.

How about doing unto others, how does he do that?

He shows mercy. To those trying to kill him he responds with a like behavior. The innocent and the noncombatants receive mercy, even if it means his life. There’s no question his travails make it harder, but the opportunity to love God and love his fellow man is there. He only needs to take it up.

What about the abused child who is born into poverty, illiteracy, and an absence of the rule of law? What happens to him or her?

Some are born into seemingly impossible situations. Everything that could happen to ruin their young life happens. Maybe benevolence or just chance ends their miserable existence.

Have they ed the test? Has a newborn baby whose life ends tragically ed the test?

They didn’t get to take the test. It is comforting to think a newborn or a young child has a free to get into heaven, and they do not suffer the sins of their parents. It would seem obvious there is something wrong here. If you believe that in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven you have to believe, then what makes sense for a newborn? If you believe there is a test one must to enter into heaven, then what makes sense for a newborn?

They can’t go to the other place. Is it an either or situation?

You’ve used logic and reason to get this far. You’ve said intuition helps provide an educated answer. What answer do you have?

I still think You should jump in every once in a while.

We’ve covered why I won’t.

I don’t have an answer.

You do, you just don’t want to consider it.

If You were a loving and just God, then a soul would not go to heaven if they didn’t the test. On the other hand, a person who through no fault of his or her own cannot take the test would not go to hell. I would think a person who is just rude and obnoxious would not go to the void. Those that didn’t earn heaven or earn hell would get a do over.

Some have believed that is the case. It seems to make sense. There are those whose behavior is so atrocious that a repeat performance is an absolute waste of time. They go straight to hell.

You have to earn heaven and you have to earn hell. Neither place has free ission. A brand new baby didn’t have any time to earn either. A new life

would be just that—new. What happens to the person who after a full life didn’t earn heaven or hell? When he or she is reborn, is there any memory of past transgressions?

When a soul is created, it will live for all eternity. A soul has all the features of a human. It has a personality, character, memory and features. It can only reach heaven by living as a human on earth. While on earth, the soul and the body are one. When the soul does a repeat of a life on earth, his or her memory is retained. The experiences of a past live are repressed, but they can affect current behavior. This is similar to Freud’s theory that memory repressed in the subconscious can affect behavior.

Do you mean Shirley MacLaine was right?

Well, not exactly. Freud tried hypnosis to expose repressed memories but it really didn’t work too well. Past lives are not quite the way Shirley puts it. When living the second time you have a little leg up as you have some memory pushing you in the right direction. At the end of the day, you have to earn your way into heaven. Past lives may give you an edge but what you do in this life is what wins the big reward.

Heaven is for those that the test. Hell or the void is for those who without question have failed the test. A redo is available for those who fall in between. They get another chance.

You have to work at losing the battle. Hell doesn’t come easy nor does heaven. If one hasn’t had a chance to take the test than one cannot fail or . If one has a chance to take the test then one can , fail, or get a redo. It’s all up to you.

Good night God, take me through to tomorrow.

I’ll be here.

Chapter 5

GOD!

I thought you had everything figured out.

A lot has come together. I believe in God. I believe in creation. I believe in heaven and hell and I believe You’re interested in our outcome. I feel like You’re rooting us on. It gets more souls for Your kingdom.

However, you still don’t know if this is Me.

I haven’t figured that out yet. I still think I’m just talking to myself.

That won’t stop our conversations or your investigation of what’s with the universe.

I’m getting comfortable with the universe. I don’t know what Your role is here on earth and I don’t understand all the religions. I really don’t understand all the fear religions preach, nor do I understand why everyone seems to have his or her hand out. Religions always practice their role with their hand out. All I see is a drive for wealth. Preachers get rich. Their wealth is almost an embarrassment— almost but apparently not quite. The Pope governs from atop more wealth than many countries have while

Catholic children go hungry. Those who preach to the poor wear clothes that cost more than many of the parishioners earn in a year. A church is built costing millions with its extravagance while school programs are stopped because of a lack of funds. Every cleric, no matter what religion, seems to be in it for the power and the money. How many are actually serving God and not themselves? If I am to believe in a heaven and the test to get there, I can believe heaven is lacking in having a Pope or a famous minister there.

Wow, a little bitter. You can’t believe every priest, every pastor, every preacher, every minister, or every imam is in it for the money.

Not everyone. I knew a priest. His cassock was frayed. He was bent with age and he obviously ate little. He toiled for years at his post. He would take much of his pay and allowances and give it to the poor he served. He frequently sidetracked donations from the church and gave them directly to the poor.

Okay, if there’s one, there has to be many.

Yeah, but he was never promoted. He was moved around until they found an out of the way poor parish for him to serve. He just didn’t fit the pattern desired by his bishop, by his religion. He wasn’t intent on increasing the wealth of the Church. He was serving the poor.

Just maybe, he is here with Me—just maybe.

There You go. There’s the incentive. the test and you will be with God. But

where is the angry God? Where is the vengeance and punishment?

Who said I was all about anger and vengeance? Why do humans think I will rain fire and brimstone upon their planet? It may someday happen but not because I’m angry and exacting punishment. It will be because the world has come to an end. I am forever but your universe is not.

Does Your experiment with populating the Kingdom of God have an end date?

Why not? You can’t think I am happy with the way the world is going.

You’re back to anger and vengeance. You asked Lot to find one good person before You destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. Is the earth at that same point?

The good people on the earth are becoming more and more a minority. It gets harder and harder to find a good person.

Are You thinking about bringing an end to it all?

No. Not really. It will end all of its own accord. When there are no more souls to be saved then the reason for being goes away.

Ouch. I know things are bad, but I still think there is hope. I think You need to give the good guys a helping hand.

Why?

I think the bad guys are getting help. In earlier times, being good was—just easier.

Not really. Someone always wants something for nothing. Someone always wants to be boss. It’s like being a god. Bosses always demand tribute while God does not.

So, we are not worse today?

As the world population has grown, the number of evil people has begun to outnumber the good. I agree with you, it seems good is losing out.

Then the end is near.

I didn’t say that. There will be an end to your universe. When is not written. Humans have free will. The future is in their hands. One thing you must always and I will repeat it often—FREE WILL. Free means given absolutely no chance of reward or penalty, one will choose the right thing.

How is that possible? If we know there is a God then the concepts of heaven and hell can’t be far behind.

Do you love God so He will give you peace and contentment, or do you love God so He will give you riches on earth or in heaven, or do you love God because it is right and just to do so? Loving is not a situation whereby you act in order to get a reward. The correct statement is I love God because it is right and just to do so. You act not because of His love for you but because of your love for Him. Humans seem to have some difficulty with the concept.

I think the biggest problem is we are human and imperfect. We generally believe every action has a reaction. We learn our behavior through our response to stimuli. Psychologists identify humans as wrapped up with S-R theory. There is a stimulus and there is a response. This causes learning. We stick our finger into a flame and we have pain. We learn fire burns. Stripping away a large body of knowledge on this subject, the principle is that our behavior is based on a learned response. Like it or not the thought of heaven and hell does affect behavior. I can’t shake the thought that those concerned with their behavior are also concerned with where they end up—heaven or hell. Maybe evil is winning out because there are less people worried about the end.

The belief in heaven and hell may be waning. The question is whether belief in the hereafter is modifying behavior. If behavior is only the result of fear of retribution or promises of rewards than free will has been lost. ing the test doesn’t just happen. I sometimes wonder if it even matters. From what I see, humans are more interested in the earthly results of greed and corruption. They have little concern for after death.

Heaven and hell are concepts of reward and punishment. Humans may not have a clear idea of either but the concepts exist.

The Books are clear on the rewards for loving God and loving each other. The Koran does have a little more fire and brimstone but it still delivers the same message. God may have felt that if the promise of heaven wasn’t enough maybe the threat of hell would be.

Hell is hard to picture. Most descriptions come from fictional writing describing Lucifer and the eternal fires, although the Books mention fire. The idea of an angry God and eternal fire wears thin after a while. A lot of religious fervor has toned down the concept. Those who preach of a loving God have difficulty with the damnation process. Some think of it as a place where camaraderie would exist between the bad guys on earth and the bad guys in hell. The punishment aspect is there but is much diluted. The Catholic version of the Bible, Mark 9:43-48, does not use the term hell but follows the original term—Gehenna. The King James version of the Bible translates the word Gehenna as hell.

If your hand is your difficulty, cut it off! Better for you to enter life maimed than to keep both hands and enter Gehenna with its unquenchable fire. If your foot is your undoing, cut it off! Better for you to enter life crippled than to be thrown into Gehanna with both feet. If your eye is your downfall, tear it out! Better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to be thrown with both eyes into Gehanna.

Definitions of Gehanna are varied. The one I like most is that it was an area outside of the walls of Jerusalem. It was a place where trash and dead bodies were thrown to burn. Heaven is even harder to picture. Again, we are stuck with fictional s. Some typical thinking leads to a picture of everyone in heaven in constant prayer and adoration of God. Many people have difficulty seeing constant prayer as a

reward. The Koran offers hairless virgins, freshwater streams, leather couches, and flowing robes of luxurious material. This is a man’s dream come true. It certainly has more appeal than an eternity of prayer, but what about women. Surely all men do not see this as heaven.

That’s the problem isn’t it? Heaven and hell are not clear signals of reward and punishment. God is looking for that person who will do good, love God, and love his fellow man and woman without the anticipation of reward or punishment. God is looking for those who with free will, will choose Him. Why else would God stand back and watch the world turn away from Him?

The threat is always there. The earth will end because it is filled with greed. The drive to be a god pervades the world. It’s the drive to take away someone’s free will. It’s the act of making people bow to your demands, whether in a parking lot or a kingdom. It’s Lucifer all over again. God’s experiment with building a heavenly population is apparently failing.

I’m not sure it’s failing, it just isn’t getting as far as I would hope. Man looks up to God and says, come save me. Prayer is constant with requests for salvation. The wealthy measure the size of their benevolence and feel they will have a mansion in heaven. Those who look to God for their salvation or look to heaven and hell for a reason to live will no doubt flunk the test. Humans have to understand that loving God and loving each other has to come from within. It has to be behavior without reward, without punishment.

Aren’t we in a Catch-22? To know God is to know there is a heaven. To know He has a test can only mean you will think of reward and punishment. I don’t see how man can ignore the promise of heaven or hell.

Knowing there is a God and knowing there is a heaven is not the point. Acting because you feel certain acts will get you to heaven is the big no-no. You have to love God because you want to, not because you fear Him or because He promises heaven. You have to love God because He created you. God does not want you to behave because there is a heaven or a hell. God wants you to behave because you think it is the right way to live.

You don’t have many that will do that. The end is probably sooner than later.

Have faith. There are a few, very few, but a few who seem to have the message. The earth will end in its due course, no sooner.

Isn’t the task impossible? We’re taught that our actions have consequences. We’re threatened with an angry God. Sin results in a fiery hell. Go to church and pray and heaven will be yours. Don’t all religions stress the ramifications of our behavior? Believe in this religion, believe in this cleric, and do the church’s bidding or else.

Jesus did not say a religion and you would be saved. Jesus said I am the way. Jesus is the symbol of salvation. Jesus acted because of his love for his Father in heaven. He did not seek riches or rewards. Jesus told us of the two Greatest Commandments. He did not say love God or He would strike you dead. He said love God. Why is this so difficult?

It’s probably not. One just has to wrap his or her head around the concept of no recognition. We have to be the unseen hero, the unseen benefactor, or the unseen donor. It’s not a widely followed concept. Heroes receive medals, benefactors receive praise, and donors receive a plaque with their name on it.

It’s not all bad. You have frequent acts of kindness without reward. Think of the Toys for Tots program. Gifts are given anonymously so children can enjoy Christmas. You saw a man and his son walking with a gas can. They were headed in a direction where the next gas station was fifty miles away. You turned them around and gave them a ride to a nearby station. You then drove them to their car. You saw a woman and more kids. You followed them to the gas station and gave them enough money to fill their car’s gas tank. You drove away feeling good inside. There were no names and no recognition. That’s what I want.

I think the credit goes to my wife. I’m not sure I’m that worthy.

You’ve given me one name of a good person. The earth will go on and the test will continue.

Then I can go to sleep without worrying about whether there will be a tomorrow or not?

Sleep well and good night.

Chapter 6

GOD!

I’m here.

I’m not sure You ever leave. I sometimes get the feeling that You’re always there. If that’s true, You have to carry on many conversations at one time.

Multitasking, I think you call it.

On a scale of one to ten—one million.

Omnipotent and all-powerful.

Or, You’re not God.

You keep going back to that.

Well, You, the One I talk to, are always there for me. I seem to have Your full attention.

If that’s true, then I can’t be God. Because even God would have some limitation as to how many souls could be listened to.

Something like that.

Omnipotent and all-powerful means I can, that I don’t have limitations. If I can create the universe and all life, then having a few conversations is not too difficult. The truth be told there are a lot less conversations then I would like.

There has to be millions praying at any one time.

A conversation is one side talks and the other side listens and then the other side talks and one side listens. It takes two to have a conversation.

But prayer is good. I pray.

Not very often.

I figure it’s better to keep the requests down. If I’m always asking, You have to get tired of it. If I don’t ask too often then maybe You’ll kick in and answer my prayer.

So there’s the rub. Prayer is asking for something.

Some prayers just praise God and give thanks. I think some of the prayers I’ve heard in the Middle East, if I translate right, are just thanks and praise.

If someone takes the time to pray, there is usually a request. Give thanks, praise, and oh, by the way would you heal me, save me, or let me win LOTTO.

With all the hypocrisy and the evil in this world, why don’t You just cancel the test? Throw the towel in and start over somewhere. Why put up with all this?

You’ve already said there is one good soul on earth. Are you saying that’s not enough?

No, I’m not saying that. However, I do think evil is getting ahead. It’s easy to lie, to cheat, and to take. It’s rewarding to think of oneself first.

Humans if anything are egocentric. I—I—I.

Well, we try to get out of that box. We’re onished there is no I in team. Everyone wants a team player. Get on the bandwagon. Don’t be selfish. Think of the greater good.

Seems I’ve heard those remarks before. What’s wrong with them?

They’re usually made by someone who wants you to do things their way. The coach wants you to execute his or her plays. The boss wants you to do his or her bidding—not question authority. How else can greed and corruption exist unless everyone cooperates and does their thing? Independent thought and action is disastrous for the greater good.

The skyscraper is never built if everyone goes his or her own way. How about the Tower of Babel?

The lemmings are great team players. They all jump off the cliff because everyone else is jumping off the cliff. Oarsmen have to follow the drummer if they expect the ship to move. There are so many arguments for both sides of this question. The ship won’t move unless we pull together. What if we’re moving the ship in the wrong direction?

You’re getting off track. You were talking about the power of prayer.

I thought somebody did a study. It probably wasn’t very scientific. I think they offered evidence where there was widespread prayer and a person got well. I would think when there is unselfish prayer for someone else’s benefit You would listen.

I always listen.

I meant listen and respond.

Now you’re asking if I intervene in events on earth.

I think we’ve decided God listens, on a huge multitask basis. What isn’t clear is why would God intervene in helping one sick person get well and not intervene in a country where genocide is rampant? There are so many examples of people dying en masse. The innocent baby is thrown into a frying pan by a mad parent. The young child is shot in a random drive by. Where is God when a tsunami hits an island nation, inundating village after village? Maybe God is indifferent after all.

If natural or human made disasters were stopped or in some way curtailed so there is no destruction or death, then what have you? It is suddenly somewhere other than earth. Disasters are a part of living on your planet. Adam and Eve walked away from the Garden of Eden, maybe rightfully so. Without trial and tribulation, the test is not real. War, disease, and natural disasters are all part of your short life on earth.

Adam and Eve made our bed and we have to lie on it. We keep coming back to the Original Sin doctrine. That’s why Catholics baptize a baby. They preach Baptism removes the Original Sin of Adam and Eve. It’s a twist on the Apostles’ view that Baptism washed away all sins on conversion to Christianity. Baptism has nothing to do with our exile to the planet we live on. We have to live with the cruel reality of earth, its natural disasters, and its everyday exposure to evil. God will not stop the terror and trauma we must live with. However, God does nudge ever so slightly the outcome of events for an individual. Intervening on a case-by-case basis doesn’t change the dynamics of our existence.

Does it make sense that God would deal with a human but not with humans?

Then we should pray, but not for world peace. How about when we gather to pray after a loved one es? We gather in some sort of belief that we can aid the dearly departed in his or her eventual resting place.

The question of aiding loved ones in their afterlife was probably the main impetus to the Protestant Reformation. During the 16th century AD, the Pope proclaimed the Papal right to grant the remission of temporal punishment for those departed. Martin Luther, a German monk, reacted by withdrawing from Catholicism. Not only did he disclaim the Pope’s assertion, he abhorred the idea that there could be a charge. The Pope would bolster his sagging income by charging for indulgences.

I can prayer cards when I was little. The face was a picture of a Saint or of Mary, Mother of Jesus. On the back was a prayer and in small print there was a line telling you how many days this prayer would take off a soul’s time in purgatory.

Purgatory was the Church’s answer to what happens if you’re not completely pure when you die. Hell was a life sentence but purgatory was just penance with a specific time to it based on past sins. Then along came indulgences. They were a good source of money and more reason to seek the Church’s intercession. Why would anyone think a short time in hell would forgive sins? Even worse, why would anyone think a Pope could have any effect on God’s punishment? If a sinner is punished by God then what human, even a Pope, has the right to override God’s decision. Of even more importance, why would you ascribe punishment as a healing balm for sins? What is the purpose? God is not interested in punishment. It does little. Psychologists call this negative reinforcement and have frequently demonstrated how poorly punishment works. What makes you think God wants to punish? It’s simple. Listen and listen hard. God is interested in those that love God, one God, and love each other. God is not interested in anyone else. Sin all you want,

God does not care. He will not act to stop you. He does not instruct anyone to act to stop you. He sits in heaven waiting for those few souls who have understood the message.

You’re scaring me. Why pray if God does not interfere?

Because you hope God will interfere.

Is hope all we have?

That and faith.

Faith was all we’re supposed to need to get to heaven. Have faith and believe in God. What happened to Your test?

Faith is what allows you to believe in God. You have faith there is a God, there is a hereafter, and God loves you. You need faith in order to have hope. Hope is what leads you to pray.

Then where is Your test? Where do You separate out the losers, the ones who will spend an eternity in the cold and dark?

It’s not that complicated. You need faith to believe in God. You have hope God will intercede in your daily life.

You believe and you pray to God and all will be forgiven. Is that right?

That doesn’t make sense. You still have to the test. Bad guys pray, they wear the cross on a chain around their neck, they go to church on Sunday, and they bury their dead with pomp and circumstance, believing there is a hereafter. They do all that, thinking all they have to do is believe; all they have to do is have faith. What they do is no worse than what men have done throughout the ages. It’s not their fault people use drugs. It’s their choice. They are honorable men who believe in God. They have faith.

So does that mean they get the prize—they get to go to heaven?

What do you think? Do you see the bad guys, whether they believe, confess, or whatever, being allowed to roam free in heaven? Do you believe I want them as company through the long eons? Come on. You’re smarter than that.

Maybe that’s the point.

All right, what’s the point?

The Golden Rule has us do unto others, as you would like them to do unto you.

And.

We can expand that to include not only how you do unto others but also how you do. Your behavior and the type of person you are should be the behavior and type of person that you would like, that you would invite into your home. The rule not only covers how you treat other people but how you behave. You not only have to love each other, you have to love yourself.

How was that not in God’s message?

It was but sometimes all those translations miss something. We’ve concentrated on loving and doing unto others. The ancient word translated as “others” must have been a more inclusive case. It must have meant all, them and us. If we just add ourselves to the term others than we are meant to love ourselves. We are meant to behave in a manner that we would love. A little convoluted, but am I right?

Why would humans think they shouldn’t love themselves? When God said love God and each other, He meant love God, love yourself, and love everyone else. Language in the first century was a lot easier to understand.

It was, if you were there.

I was there when the earth was born and I will be there when the earth is no longer. I was also there when you were born and I will be there when you die.

That’s a little gloomy.

Why the gloomy response? Was it because I mentioned the end of your life? You know all matter has a life. It has a beginning and an end. All people have a life. They are born, they live, and they die.

How they live that short life leads to an eternity with God or an eternity in the dark reaches of the void.

That’s what we’ve been talking about. The message is the two Greatest Commandments. The time scale is short. The result is forever. You started this conversation with “Cognito ergo sum”. It established your belief in yourself. You go on to believe in God and then you realize you don’t live alone, there are others. There are three elements to your existence: you, God, and others. God is one God. God is the Almighty, one Holy, Creator of heaven and earth, and demanding of all your love and devotion. Have no other gods before Him. Don’t build altars, don’t build cathedrals, and don’t look at any matter or any human as holy. God is the only One. Others are all of humanity and all of the animal kingdom. Love them and treat them, as you would want yourself treated. Do this and wondrous things can happen on earth. Lastly, we have come to you. You are now realizing you are an integral piece to the whole thing. In order to love God and love others, you have to start with loving yourself. The founding fathers of the United Sates put forth a concept that all men are created equal. They failed in ensuring the word “men” meant all humanity. Their treatment of women and slaves was far short of ideal. The concept of men created equal, was a truism the world has failed to accept. Your country has instead striven to prove not all men are equal. Royalty, clerics, holy men, serfs, peons, slaves, poor, rich, elite, good looking, smart, dumb, ugly, and so many more words have been created to distinguish between the perceived differences in men. These are not differences meaningful to God, only to man. Why do humans find the concept so hard to believe in? You are what you believe

you are. You are all created equal. God has given each of you a soul. He hopes and prays your soul will spend an eternity in heaven with Him. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and then get on with my message.

I am led to believe a brain of a genius looks rippled and well used. The brain of a baby is almost smooth. If this is true, then why do we think we are born a genius or born dumb? It would seem all babies are born with the potential to be great. All men are created equal. That would mean that as I look out at my fellow humans, no one is greater or lesser than I am.

There is a saying you have. You are what you think you are. Those who have reached success in their lifetime have believed they could reach the stars. Those who failed were sidetracked and drowned in their lack of self-confidence. Why would people not believe in themselves and love themselves?

I think what happens is that we start to believe in the opinion of others instead of ourselves.

That could take a lot of explaining.

Children are born into a world of judgment. From the first visit of family , there is a constant barrage of opinions voiced. Isn’t he cute, is a standard welcome as a newborn. As the child grows, it becomes a judgment of appearance. A good-looking child is constantly assured that all the women or men are going to be chasing after them. In the teen years, appearance rises to a ridiculous level of importance. Peer review pushes us into one niche or the other.

What I find interesting are the actors on television and in the movies. Every size, shape, color, and appearance has found success. It’s hard to assure young people in high school that how hard they reach for the stars is more important than their appearance.

They should realize they have all been created by God and God loves each one of them.

One can only hope people will realize self-worth comes from within. Each person can be whatever they strive to be regardless of their beginnings. However, are we to try to succeed or can we retire to a monastery and read and pray. The onishment to be all you can be is a good ad line but is it the Word of God?

When Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden to start their life on earth, there was little separation of duties. Both were involved in providing for their survival. As the numbers increased, separation of labor was natural. Crops needed work, goats and sheep needed tending, there was cloth to be made, leather to be tanned, and houses to be built. It wasn’t long before a single person depended upon the labors of others.

We’ve had our individualists, our mountain men, and others who have gone into the wilderness and survived.

They relied on society for something. Their clothes, or their weapons, or something always come from the work of others. It seems you would understand that doing unto others as you would do to yourself would mean you should be a contributing member of society. You really should be all that you can be.

The two Greatest Commandments stand as all the advice one needs to the test.

I told you it wasn’t complicated.

Thank You, God. I’m tired. I lay my head down knowing You are here.

Stay warm and dry. I will talk to you in the morn.

Chapter 7

GOD!

I’m here. You’ve read the Bible, the Koran, and just about everything you could find on various religions throughout the world and what have you concluded?

I am what I’ve read. I’ve searched out books because I thought they could add to my collection of information. The earliest book I can was Aristotle. I went on to read Freud and then Einstein. I was only ten or eleven at the time and I had some difficulty in digesting the ideas presented. I decided fiction might be more enjoyable. It was definitely easier. I was a frequent visitor to the library staying in the section for fiction. I’ve kept a ion for reading all my life. High school and college found me back at the non-fiction section. Usually this was because of course requirements but also because of my curiosity to find the source of some of the lecture material. My years in Catholic school and the time I spent with a Jesuit priest opened the door to studying Theology. My daughter gave me a bible for my 44th birthday. I picked up a translation of the Koran about that same time. The Koran renewed my interest in the Gospels and life in the first century.

All that reading makes Jim a dull boy. Your social life was surely lacking.

If my social life was wanting, I certainly wasn’t aware of it. However, in my later years colleagues would suggest I was flawed in some of the social graces. I

think they felt I could use a little more tact.

I can attest to you’re being a little short on tact. You just don’t believe anyone who says something you don’t agree with. How many people have told you the New Testament was written in Greek and they have read the originals? How do you react? Let’s say, not with tact and diplomacy.

I get tired of the clichés from each religion. What little is known is shifted and shaped to fit the belief. It should be the other way. Fact and logic should be the basis for belief. We don’t know that much about the history of the Abrahamic religions but we know they were linked. Ignoring the arguments about divinity, the Word of God comes to us from Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad. Moses is the source for the Torah. Jesus is the source (maybe not) for the Bible. Muhammad is the source for the Koran.

Why the “maybe not” for the Bible?

Moses wrote the Torah over some years. For the Jews this is the Word of God. The same pattern is true for the Koran. Muhammad wrote it in pieces over some years. For the Muslim, this is the Word of God. Jesus is the start of Christianity that believes in the Bible as the Word of God. Yet, Jesus wrote nothing. I should note that there are many different versions of the Christian Bible. Each new version “goes back to the originals” and creates a better truer Bible.

Why wasn’t there one basic Bible written by Jesus? Seems there is a switch with the Bible.

I have to assume God had His reasons. I’m not sure why Jesus would have failed to be a writer of his message. From everything I’ve read, nothing has survived that was written by Jesus. This is in spite of the fact that he was probably literate in both Hebrew and Aramaic. There’s no reason to believe he couldn’t write. There are numerous references to his teaching in synagogues starting at the age of twelve. As he was a Second Temple Jew, he would have preached or taught in Hebrew while Aramaic would be his everyday language.

You need to be careful. Not everyone will understand a Second Temple Jew.

Things haven’t always gone well for the Jewish people. First, Moses had to struggle to make them leave their pagan ways and accept Monotheism. They had to win their freedom from the Pharaoh. The Kingdom of David was established and a Temple was built in Jerusalem. These would have been the First Temple Jews. Hebrew and Aramaic would have been their languages.

that the existence of a Temple gives a centralized life to Judaism. Without the Temple there was rabbinic rule leading to some disparity in teaching between the groups as they dispersed.

That dispersal started in the sixth century BC when the Kingdom of Judea was overrun by Babylonia. The First Temple was destroyed and the population dispersed. This was the beginning of the Jewish Diaspora. From then until Rome’s destruction of Jerusalem c. 70 AD there were three distinct groups of Hebrews. These were located in Babylonia, Egypt (primarily Alexandria), and Israel. After the Babylonia conquests came the occupations of Alexander the Great. With Alexander came Greek culture and the Greek language. Alexander’s invasions fell short of Israel. Babylonia and Egypt fell under the Greek influence.

The wealthier Jews seemed to congregate in Babylonia. There was a large contingent of Jews in Egypt, primarily centered in Alexandria. The poorer and more fervent Jews slowly returned to Israel and began to rebuild the Kingdom of Judea.

Language and the Diaspora begin to play a part in the early Christian history. Greek had become the everyday language in Egypt and Babylonia. Hebrew and Aramaic were the languages of Israel. The Jews began to split into Hebrew Jews and Hellenistic Jews reflecting the language spoken. As the Jews in the Greek territories, Egypt and Babylonia, began to be immersed in Greek culture and language, the Hebrew and Aramaic of the Jewish Bible seemed foreign to them. This language difference is added to by the physical distance. The Hellenistic Jew distances himself from the Temple authority. Individual rabbis were in control and began to relax the more harsh Mosaic Laws and interpret compliance in a gentler and relaxed manner.

The disparity continued when during the second and third century BC, the Jewish Bible was translated in its entirety into Greek. This version is called the Septuagint. This becomes the Jewish Bible for the Hellenistic Jews. The availability of a Greek version of the Jewish Bible lead to more separation. The new Catholic Church will take advantage of this by adopting the Septuagint. It was this version that the young Catholic Church adopted as their Old Testament in the Bible that came together in the third or fourth century AD.

You realize the importance of appreciating that Jesus was a Jew. He was a Hebrew Second Temple Jew. He taught in the synagogues in Hebrew, talked each day in Aramaic, and preached God’s message. His effort was geographically restricted to Israel and Jerusalem. His message was anti the establishment. In Mark, Chapter 24, he rails against the Pharisees and scribes, calling them “frauds.” He was there to lead them to the Kingdom of God. He was the Messiah.

The Temple reacted strongly to this assertion that Jesus was the Messiah. The Hebrew Jews followed suit and didn’t believe Jesus. They accused him of being the false Messiah. The early disciples were stoned and chased from the synagogues. The elements, that had come together to cause his crucifixion, were still there after his death. The Temple wanted a new kingdom on earth. They wanted to reestablish the Kingdom of David wherein the chief priests and scribes would again rule. They looked for a Messiah to reestablish a Jewish Kingdom. Judaism would rule the land. Their belief in a Messiah was the belief in a new leader, a warrior, someone who would lead them in battle against the Romans. Jesus didn’t offer a new kingdom on earth. He didn’t raise up a sword and say follow me. He offered a new kingdom not of this earth.

In John 18:36:

My kingdom does not belong to this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my subjects would be fighting to save me from being handed over to the Jews. As it is, my kingdom is not here.

Jesus offered peace and love. He never once offered the sword as the way to his kingdom. His followers believed him to be the Messiah who would lead them to the Kingdom of God.

It all boiled down to Jesus being the Messiah. Believe in that and you believe in his message of love and peace. Ignore that and wait for a warrior Messiah, who never comes. In Matthew 11:28-29 Jesus says:

Come to me, all you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from me, for I am

gentle and humble of heart. Your souls will find rest, for my yoke is easy and my burden light.

All right, where are we?

We look to Jewish history to get some appreciation of Jesus’ beginnings as a Jew. By the time of Jesus’ birth, the single Jewish people had been dispersed due to worldwide conquests. You start with the conquests of Babylonia that result in the destruction of the First Temple and a wide dispersal of the Jewish people. The Hebrew Jew of Moses time is now congregated in Israel and ruled by the Second Temple. The remaining Jews have dispersed into Babylonia, Syria, and Egypt, which was a part of Alexander the Great’s empire. With that came Greek language and influence. The separation from the Temple left them rabbinic rule that over time lessened and adjusted to local preferences. The key is that there were Hellenistic Jews and Hebrew or Second Temple Jews. Not only were their languages different but adherence to Mosaic Law was different. The Second Temple Jews were exacting in their behavior. Jesus was a part of the Second Temple Jews following strict Mosaic Law under rule of the Temple. It was into this sect that Jesus began to preach his message of loving God and each other.

One of the things that has always amazed me is the message of Jesus was lost. His religion completely rejected him.

It would seem that God’s message contained in the Torah, and the Bible, and the Koran has been lost. Instead we have religions who look to Divine Revelation to establish the veracity of their teachings. When we become of a religion, we are among the chosen. We can now look with askance at other religions. Our ecclesiastical leaders have discovered the proven path to heaven. They have had Divine Revelation.

The Muslim reads the Koran each day. Allah is loud and clear when He proclaims Himself as God Almighty. His message is simple. We should love Allah, believe in His power and majesty, and love each other. We should greet each other with the word, PEACE. Surely, we jest when we think we are doing His work as we kill indiscriminately and make war. The Crusaders, with the knowledge and skill to make war, listen as the Pope tells them all is forgiven if they will do God’s work and retake the Holy Land. As they rape and pillage across the Middle East is there any realization of the irony in this quest. They went to war in God’s name and called it doing His work. How many wars, how much strife can be laid at religion’s doorstep? Each religion wants to tell the world how to behave. When their voice is ignored, confrontation surely follows. Evil are those who oppose the Word of the Lord. Without religious fervor, the world would be much safer.

You point to the religious and rail against their inequities. They cling to their Books and point to sentences that justify their behavior. They bow not to Yahweh, Jehovah, God, or Allah but instead they bow to those who lead them, those who claim Divine inspiration. They are encouraged to in the fight for their one true religion. They ignore God’s message to love one and only one God and to love each other.

Is there any cleric, Muslim, Christian, or Jewish, willing to stand back and ask how killing and hate can be a response to this plea? Isn’t the message in the Torah, in the Bible, or in the Koran clear? They fail to read their own Books. Each religion is ready to war with another. Yet the Koran informs us that we are linked.

3:1 Alif lam min. Allah! There is no god but Him, the Living, the Everexistent One. He has revealed to you the Book with the truth, confirming the scriptures which preceded it; for He has already revealed the Torah and the Gospel for the guidance of men, and the distinction between right and wrong.

Where did it go wrong?

It’s hard to tell. We start with Abraham who fathered the beginnings of Judaism and Islam. There was the promise that Ishmael and Isaac would each father a great nation. The seeds of the Arabs and the Jews would live side by side with both Ishmael and Isaac together as brothers at Abraham’s burial. Their hatred for each other comes about under Muhammad who calls them infidels who ignored the teachings of the Prophet Jesus.

Why the history lesson?

I’m not sure. I can’t get over the fact that Jesus and the Apostles were Second Temple Jews. Jesus’ ministry was in the middle of the Roman rule of Judea. The Gospels were supposedly written just before or during the Jewish revolt. Jesus did not preach a new religion. He railed against the wrongs of the current religion. He was the Son of God, He was the Messiah. Do we need to examine the religions or just God’s message? If we know what God is trying to tell us, isn’t that enough?

Humanity is heading in the wrong direction. The message has been lost because of the religions. If anyone is going to read what you write here and if anyone is going to regroup around their Father in Heaven than you have to demonstrate how the religions went wrong. You have to put the story together so someone will listen. You can’t just offer confrontation.

All right, history sets the stage for the birth, life, and crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

You now need to tell what happened.

That’s not easy. Not much survived. I think we know more about Aristotle and Plato than about Jesus. We have copies of the gospels from the third and fourth centuries AD. Yet we think these were written originally in the second half of the first century AD. There are no copies of writings attributed to Jesus or references to anything written by Jesus.

You’ve done a lot of research. What do you think you know?

Conversation amongst the Apostles and the language of Jesus’ preaching would be Aramaic. Hebrew would have been reserved for religious activity. As both languages use the same characters, Jesus could probably read both. He was a teacher, a rabbi: you have to believe he was literate in both Hebrew and Aramaic.

There had to be letters, sermons, or gospels circulated during Jesus’ ministry and after the death of Jesus.

I think there was a lot that we don’t and will probably never know. During Jesus’ ministry there had to be some written communication. We can only assume any written word would have been in Aramaic. After the crucifixion, the Apostles had to communicate with each other, again in Aramaic. Initially, the Apostles would converse and write in Aramaic. The Gospel according to Luke gives rise to the supposition that there were

numerous transcripts available for study. He would have amassed a huge amount of data in order to write his Gospel as it is written.

It seems one should assume there was much more writing then thought. The only problem was little of it survived.

I think the survival of writings had less to do with the material and more to do with the inks. A parchment might survive; the writing on it may not. Inks were as varied as the writing material. Inks that would last centuries were usually proprietary. Egyptians used clay tablets that when fired had a longer life. Formal writing would be on papyrus or parchment. Papyrus came from Egypt and at times was expensive or just not available. Parchment was treated animal skin, was readily available, lasted longer than papyrus, and was probably inexpensive. The writing instruments were varied. What’s interesting is that those who could write used anything available. Broken pottery shards were popular.

Even with all that, I’ll repeat I think there was more writing then you think.

I only wish more had survived.

You have enough to picture those early years. Put what the Bible says together with what you have learned. Actually, the story is in the Bible, you just have to look.

After the crucifixion, the Apostles spread out in all directions. They traveled east and south where Aramaic would be gradually replaced by Arabic and, where

Islam would be born some five and a half centuries later. They traveled north and east into Greek territory and to the gentiles with Paul’s ministry. They traveled to Rome and Latin territory with Peter and later Paul. Some suggest that they found a willing congregation in the Hellenistic Jews. They offered the same Jewish Bible, as the early church had adopted the Septuagint. They were a band of Jews teaching that the end was near. This prediction came from Jesus. In Matthew 24: 29,

The sun will be darkened, the moon will not shed her light, the stars will fall from the sky, and the hosts of heaven will be shaken loose.

In Matthew 24: 34,

I assure you, the present generation will not away until all this takes place.

In Mark 13: 24-25,

During that period after trials of every sort the sun will be darkened, the moon will not shed its light, stars will fall out of the skies, and the heavenly hosts will be shaken.

In Mark 13: 30,

I assure you, this generation will not away until all these things take place.

It’s amazing the religion grew so fast. It may have been the Hellenistic Jews who were ready to accept a Messiah. It may have been due to the message. The end was near and the only way to save oneself was to believe in Jesus. Christianity offered a simple way to be saved—believe.

As with most religions that start with a message from God, man builds the religion. When Jesus instructed the Apostles to go forth and spread his message, there wasn’t any instruction to build a religion, to build churches, nor to create a self-appointed hierarchy of bishops and popes.

The message from God seems loud and clear in the Synoptic Gospels. These three Gospels record the life and death of Jesus. They record God’s message as delivered by Jesus. These are thought to be written no earlier than 70 AD, which is some forty years after Jesus’ crucifixion. The original documents are long gone. We know the gospels from copies written in the second and third century. Disagreement was rampant in those early years. Whereas Jesus and the Apostles were Jews and believed in Judaism, the new Church was quickly moving away. Gentiles were more prevalent and there was a split with Judaic rules and regulations. The Apostles waned in their influence and Paul became the spokesperson for the new Church. What happened was no different from any time a power center relocates. Things change just to draw a difference from the old. The holy day, or Sabbath, needed to become Sunday, leaving the Jewish tradition of Saturday. The celebration of Easter had to be on a Sunday, etc., etc. Recognizing all dates are approximate, let’s start at year 30AD—the crucifixion of Jesus. In the first decade of Christianity, we have Paul falling off his horse, Peter preaching in Jerusalem, and at the end of the decade persecution of Christians in Jerusalem and surrounds.

Christianity had grown to be an irritant to Herod Agrippa. The scribes and the chief priests continued their turmoil calling Jesus the false Messiah. In the second decade of Christianity, we have the first Apostle martyred, James. Thirty years after Jesus, we have the ruling that Gentile converts do not have to observe the Mosaic Law. In the next decade the Jews revolt against Roman authority, Nero begins to persecute the Christians, Peter is martyred, and finally we see Jerusalem destroyed by Rome’s mighty army. Later historians write about these events. It seems obvious they would have had some record to look at, something that would give rise to their report of events. By the year 70AD, we have Christians throughout the Roman Empire. We are led to believe that with all of this activity there was not one Gospel written. I just don’t think you can have all of this expansion without a plethora of writings being exchanged and discussed. What we see in the Bible is but a small portion of letters written by scribes throughout these four decades. We read Gospels that are not written at the time of use but rather as a history of events. During the next two centuries, various sects battle for the right to lead. Towards the end of the third century Roman Emperors begin to rule the Church, settling disputes and appointing bishops. During the early part of the fourth century AD, Emperor Constantine is the titular head of the Church. Christianity begins to consolidate and has the power to outlaw separatists. Writings are destroyed and heretics killed. In the middle of all this, the Bible is born.

If you had done more reading, you could trace the start of Islam. They became attached to a civil ruler much faster as Muhammad went to war and conquered territory. Both religions grew in their respective territory and it was only natural they would clash. The belief in a one and all-powerful Creator didn’t clash, the titular leaders, in the name of their God, clashed.

What is almost criminal is the dearth of manuscripts available from the first six decades of Christianity. I sometimes wonder if in their zeal to purify everything

available, to ensure only one story, and to prove the basis for their rule, whether the civil and religious leaders didn’t destroy just a little too much.

Many writings were destroyed. It doesn’t lessen the value of what remains. God’s message is there. The Books may not have the exact words in your era, but the message is still there. You are discounting what you have because of the inadequacy of language and translations.

I think my objection is when someone holds up a Bible and says this is the Word of the Lord. They take the word and produce hate when the message is so clearly love.

Language is and always has been imperfect for communication.

I when it came time to choose what language I would study, the advice I received was to study Latin and German. The romance languages were too imperfect. No scientific work would ever be taken seriously if written in English. There is not a doubt that communication is imperfect. The Books were written in languages that are long gone. There aren’t any dictionaries available to help us translate. In Greek and Latin the same word with just the ending changed has a different meaning. In English, we’re use to different forms of verbs, past or future tense. In Latin, nouns are also declined thereby slightly changing the meaning with a different ending. When copying a fragment of vernacular Greek that doesn’t have spaces between words, doesn’t have punctuation, and frequently does not have vowels, it would depend upon the scribe’s interpretation of the age. When translating from one language to another the immensity of the task can be overwhelming. It seems to me scribes would preserve the essence of the original thought but

might slip in making an absolute copy. My only point is we should read the Books and come away with an understanding of God’s message. We should not hang on every word. The message may be clear but the details may be misleading.

I am sometimes amazed, although God should not be amazed at anything. Humans search for the exact words to read and live by and ignore the message.

That’s the problem. There is no exact. The available data suggests slight changes in translations are not only possible, but also probable. I think scribes were probably professional and didn’t have any reason to make changes. Nevertheless, changes were inevitable. This would mean not every word may be correct, but the general message is there. Does that make sense?

That makes a lot of sense. When a religious leader speaks with such confidence and decisiveness, I wonder why anyone would listen. Look at the Gospels. I’m sure you have something to say about them.

Each of the Gospels was written by a different person or persons. Mark wrote the earliest Gospel and it was probably written in Aramaic. Some suggest this was the first Gospel circulated amongst the various Christian communities. There would have been few written copies and most of the transmission would be by word of mouth. My Bible cites the date of the Gospel according to Mark as c.70AD. This would put it after Peter was crucified. I would think that a gospel written to spread the words of Jesus would have been written while Peter was still alive. Mark was not an Apostle and as far as anyone knows, did not travel with Jesus or witness any of the sermons. He was, however, closely associated with Peter. He has been called Peter’s interpreter. (I found the reference to Mark as Peter’s interpreter a few times). I’m not sure what he interpreted but my guess is Peter did not speak Latin and Mark did. Mark was close to Peter, witnessed Peter’s death, and would

have written the Gospel in Rome. Matthew, an Apostle, was probably the next Gospel to be written. Much of this Gospel appears to have been taken from Mark. There is a view that many manuscripts were then in existence, which would have influenced both Mark and Matthew. Matthew does seem to expand on Mark and adds new data. A lot could have been from actual experience as he traveled with Jesus and witnessed his ministry. Luke is more of an academic work. He researched written and oral tradition. He was not an Apostle and had not witnessed Jesus ministry. He is also the author of The Acts. Considering the detail and information provided, Luke must have had access to a considerable amount of information. John was the last Gospel. There is some doubt John personally wrote this Gospel. As was the practice during that period, it was probably a communal effort under his name. The Gospel was not written by John but maybe at his direction. It’s been suggested the Gospel according to John may have been a massive ment giving substance to the then thinking of the new Church. The arguments regarding the divinity of Jesus may have been rampant at the time this Gospel was written. The thing I consider a most grievous fault is that Jesus did not write a Gospel. The whole process is trying to get at what Jesus said. What was his message? No Gospels, no letters, there was nothing in writing from Jesus. He sent the Apostles out to preach the word, but put nothing in writing to guide them.

The prevalent thought is that the New Testament was written over forty years after Jesus crucifixion. From what you’ve uncovered, it seems there would be a lot of material prior to the four Gospels. The Church was growing rapidly and there had to be material ed back and forth as a guide or basis for services. Maybe the view that Matthew didn’t copy Mark is right. Maybe they both had the same material as a basis for their Gospels. Isn’t there more evidence?

The data available on the first century is all over the place. One side believes everyone spoke Greek, others believe only Aramaic. I read somewhere the rich

spoke only Latin and the poor spoke only Greek. It’s even more confusing when trying to determine what was written. The Romans burned everything in Jerusalem somewhere around year 70 AD. The whole body of Jewish literature was destroyed. Any documents found by the Roman soldiers would have been destroyed. They were ruthless in putting down the Jewish rebellion. They would not have distinguished between Jewish or Christian manuscripts. They would have destroyed everything they could find. I found some consensus that during this time, before books were available, rabbis memorized the Torah. This allowed them to regroup after the Romans left and recreate the Jewish literature. Except for the Dead Sea Scrolls, it does not appear that any written documents from the first century survived. What we do have is documents from the second century and later. Many of these were copies of writings from the first century. Some were no doubt putting into print stories or reports that had been circulated by word of mouth. The Apostles’ Creed referenced earlier is not found in any of these early manuscripts. It’s hard to look back that far as our experience is so different. We have books, pens, pencils, etc. We are used to reading and having written documentation of events. In the first century, few people could read and write. The process of learning was expensive and lengthy. Kids in the first century did not have the benefit of an education. What schools there were, were for religious instruction. Rabbis preached from memory. The Old Testament was memorized. Writing implements were expensive and hard to get. When a person wanted to write a letter, they went to a scribe. There was no local post office. Scribes had a courier system. They would write your letter and then sent it to a fellow scribe in the city or town of the person you wanted to receive it. The recipient would go to their scribe who would read the letter. Crude but it worked. What was written had a short life. Papyrus was subject to drying and cracking or when wet turning into pulp. Any written document considered of some value was copied for both circulation and preservation. The original document easily lost. What documents have been found are from the second century at the earliest. Those referring to the first century are copies. It is obvious the accuracy of each copy represents the skill of

the writer. Many current bible historians pride themselves in having researched the original documents. Yet there are no originals of the Gospels. What happens is the data is collected and examined in light of one’s own bias and prejudice. How difficult is it to read a written language where there are no breaks between words, no punctuation, and no one pointing out the vagaries because of the then current usage?

The Bible’s not exact but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t represent the ministry and preaching of Jesus.

I think it presents one side of the story. The early Church condemned all thinking not in line with the mainstream thought of early Christianity. Any writings that deviated from the Church’s accepted wisdom were destroyed. Those who preached alternative beliefs were declared heretic. By the fourth century AD, the Christian religion had the power to consolidate only those records that ed their belief. Everything else was outlawed and destroyed. Numerous sects rose up to question the Trinity, the divinity of Jesus, the existence of Original Sin, the date of Easter, and the date of Christmas. There is little record of their struggle or their preaching.

None of this makes the Bible wrong. What is varied is the interpretation of what is said in the Bible. Every person touting a particular view can point to a chapter and verse that s his or her position. It has become customary to cite the Divine Word only as far as it s your particular belief.

Are you saying the Bible is the Word of the Lord?

The Bible was written by man not by God. The ages reflect revelations of the Word of God that over time man has translated into the words of man. There’s

always something added or loss in the translation.

The Bible was first put together in the third and fourth century AD. There would be some changes as to what is included or excluded but the basic Bible was agreed on by the mid-fourth century AD. There are two Bibles written at that time. There is the Codex Vaticanus located in the Vatican library. I think that is the Vulgate version in Latin undertook by Jerome. I found little information about this version. The second is Codex Sinaiticus. This is available on the internet having been digitized for global study. The New Testament is in Koine, the original vernacular Greek language, and the Old Testament is the Jewish Bible version known as Septuagint, the original Greek translation from Hebrew and Aramaic dating well into BC. Both have numerous corrections.

There is an original version.

The Codex Sinaiticus was reportedly handwritten by three or possibly four scribes each with their unique style. They obviously did not originate the text but copied documents available to them. These documents and the dates thereof aren’t known. What is obvious is what had been written was frequently changed. Corrections are very evident. Translation of a document written in a vernacular language without punctuation and often without vowels is not a perfect task.

I repeat—the Word of God that over time man has translated into the words of man. The message from God is still there.

Are we to believe Jesus is God? Was Mary a virgin at the time of the birth of Jesus?

You’re looking for revelation again. You want that sure thing—the voice of God. There’s nothing in the Bible that offers up the Trinity. God always has been and always will be. Jesus was born of Mary. The Bible seems to indicate Jesus had a beginning and therefore God was before Jesus. Jesus cannot be the same as God. Jesus was the son of God and his authority stemmed from his Father. These arguments were declared heretical in the fourth century AD as the then Christian Church affirmed their belief in the Trinity.

What is the answer? Is Jesus God?

The answer has little to do with the message. There is but one God, one Holy. The early Christians felt adamant that Jesus had to be God. They reconciled the one God principal with the Trinity. Christian scholars have all taken the position that man cannot reason this concept. It is only revealed by revelation from God.

You’re not going to jump in here, are You?

You’ve read the Koran.

I think it means Recital in English. It wasn’t a single book but a collection of writings. The language used was Arabic and had much of the same features and problems associated with translating early Greek. There are no spaces between words or sentences and no punctuation. Vowels are frequently missing. This has led to small variations in translation of the Koran. These don’t appear to create any difficulty with the religion. For Muslims it is the infallible Word of God. Unlike the Bible, the Koran is written in the language of its intended audience. The oldest known copy is in a British Museum dated 790 AD. I’ve heard it called the finest work of Classical Arabic prose. That becomes quite evident when reading the translation. Almost all of it is written in the first

person. The speaker is God. You get the impression that God is angry over what happened after Jesus.

The Prophet was born late in the sixth century AD. He was forty years old when he was commanded by the Angel Gabriel to Recite in the name of your Lord. His revelations were initially memorized and written on various materials. Shortly after his death in 632 AD, the Koran was assimilated into one book and Islam, the absolute submission or resignation to the will of Allah, was born.

The Prophet was Muhammad. He had a reputation for honesty and wisdom. He disclaimed power to perform miracles and firmly believed he was the messenger of God. It is believed he was influenced by both the Jewish and Christian beliefs prevalent in the area. Did You get mad at the way Jesus had been treated?

There is but one God, one Holy, who created heaven and earth. There is but one omnipotent and almighty God. The Jewish Torah, the teachings of Jesus, and the revelations of Muhammad are all consistent in a belief in one and only one God.

Then You are the Author of the Koran?

Keep with your intuition and reason. What did you come away with reading the Bible and the Koran?

There is a consistency. I think the Koran says in essence that here are three requirements for entry into heaven. They are believe in Allah, do good deeds, and give alms. This doesn’t seem to deviate from Jesus’ onition to love God and love each other.

When reading the Koran, I was struck by one consistent theme. Allah seemed mad at the fact His word was so misinterpreted by the Christians. He often repeats Allah is the Only One, Allah is all-powerful, and Allah is the Only God, the Only Holy. Allah onishes his converts to love Allah, do good works, and give alms. They are to greet each other with the word Peace to reflect the love Allah has. He frequently cites His power and that He and only He will correct nations that violate His word. As with the Bible, Allah does not seek help to cure the ills of the world. The main instruction does not deviate from the message to love God and love each other.

Is it really that simple?

I think it is. Both the Bible and the Koran go to some length to tell you how to live. There isn’t always consistency but few concepts come through which would appear to violate or go against these basic rules.

What do you have trouble with?

I don’t want to start quoting but will stick with generalities that stand out when I look at religions today.

You’re going to argue about what is in the Bible or the Koran.

No, I think I am better at sticking with generalizations. Many people in this world are fervent advocates of the specifics in each book. I personally think it is almost impossible to live up to every word written. However, it doesn’t mean the

message is not from a revelation from God. Am I to believe what is written in the Bible and the Koran? You had said they were God’s words written by man.

You are to believe that God has frequently communicated to man. Books have been written throughout the world on every continent in almost every language. God’s communication with man is not perfect. It would be better if I just wrote the books myself and then jammed the words down your throat.

Not me personally, but humans in general, right?

Don’t be so sensitive.

You are God.

You do believe I am God and not a figment of your imagination.

Not really, I believe that what I am writing on both sides of the conversation is what I think You want written. It’s all based on what facts I can uncover and how I interpret them. Are these God’s words written by me? I don’t think so. I think there have been God’s words written by man and these writings give some clue to what it is all about. I think Moses and Abraham existed. I think Jesus and Muhammad existed. I think the words that arose from these Prophets were based on Your words. I think man created rules and interpretations that allowed them to build a religion. I think religions are the creations of man, not God. Too many have died in the name of their God. Too many people have killed in

the name of their God. Too few have listened to the words—love God and love each other.

Get it all out. You are not as objective and unbiased as you make out. Are you being selective in your finding of facts? You have a goal in mind.

I’ve pulled together everything I’ve come to know over the years. I know it doesn’t help my claim of objectivity but I do think there is an obvious core set of principles for humans to follow.

That is?

I believe in God, one God—omnipotent and all-powerful. I believe in the Golden Rule. I believe that with the two Greatest Commandment, humans can find heaven and be with God.

That’s a lot of faith.

Not faith but a studied conclusion based on the facts.

The message is simple and easy to follow. Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad are consistent. So, what happened? Take them one at a time. What happened to the Jews?

Man took over. Moses is not revered. He holds no special place in Jewish

religion, other than as a prophet. Up until the Babylon conquest, there was a temple in Jerusalem. The Jews were a homogenous tribe and their religion was standardized. The Temple provided the control, wherein the religion is consistent among its adherents. With the conquest, the Jewish Diaspora begins. The Jews begin a dispersal that will continue for centuries. That dispersal begins the birth of divergent sects in the religion. When the Second Temple was built in Jerusalem its power reached throughout Israel. The Hellenistic Jews were too distant to be influenced. After the Romans destroyed the Second Temple and further dispersed the Jews, their religion became dependent upon the rabbi. Each rabbi had memorized the Torah and the Talmud but without centralization, differences crept in. Judaism was no longer a homogeneous religion. The rabbis held the power. They draw conclusions from their individual interpretations. The message of Moses is gradually modified and changed to reflect diverse rabbi opinion. Divine Revelation by learned rabbis became the message.

Different sects pushed different messages. Compliance with God’s laws is mixed with dress codes and behavior restrictions. You had to be born a Jew or anyone could . Serious differences between rabbis let God’s message become second to the cry of the rabbi. How about Christianity?

In the early days after the crucifixion of Jesus, there is some argument as to whether James in Jerusalem or Peter in Rome headed the Church. The first Council is held in Jerusalem with both in attendance. Gradually Paul’s influence takes over. The lack of Mosaic Law and the expansion of Gentile influence lead the Church in a new direction. The Apostles were unified in preaching Jesus’ message. Their initial audience was the Second Temple Jews. Hebrew and Aramaic were their languages. As the synagogues became hostile territory, geographical expansion was necessary. At first, the Hellenistic Jews became fertile recipients of God’s message. Then as further expansion took place, the Gentiles become a deciding force. Paul literally takes over the church. His Epistles dominate the New Testament.

Whereas Jesus railed against the business and money aspect of the chief priests and scribes, the new religion becomes quite adept at collecting riches. As the Roman Empire declines, especially in Italy the power of the bishops increases. They become civic leaders in addition to their religious duties. Civil and religious become blurred. The Bishop of Rome exercises power over the religion and the Italian populace. One could accuse the Church of more concern with growing riches than preaching the message of God. Confession and Penance bring in massive amounts. During the Middle Ages, it was wise not to confess any sins. The penance for sinning was to give all your wealth to the Church. When the Pope announced he had the power to reduce sinners’ punishment. He proclaimed he had the power of granting indulgences. The Pope’s power comes from his lineage back to Peter. They relied on Matthew 16:18-19 where Jesus is talking to Peter.

I for my part declare to you, you are ‘Rock’, and on this rock I will build my church, and the jaws of death shall not prevail against it. I will entrust to you the keys of the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you declare bound on earth shall be bound in heaven ; whatever you declare loosed on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

When Martin Luther posted his arguments, he argued against deeds and punishment. He believed that the key to the Kingdom of God is belief in Jesus as God the Son, and that the Bible is the only source of divinely revealed knowledge. You must believe in Jesus and his recipients of Divine Revelation. The arguments between sects are raised to the level of ridiculousness. God’s message is lost. To be a Christian you must swear your belief in God, your belief in Jesus, and if a Catholic your belief in the Pope, and if Protestant your belief in Divine Revelation.

The two greatest commandments are forgotten. Hatred between sects is rampant. Most of all, money is king. How did the Muslims do?

The Muslims have followed the same path. You must believe in Allah and you must believe in Muhammad. You must believe in the Koran yet only those who are firmly rooted in knowledge like the Prophet and the imams know the secrets of the Koran. There is a wide-open avenue of interpretation. The Koran gives the message of God but man interprets and leads as he directs. There are numerous sects with wide differences in beliefs. We are presented with war-like fundamentalists who strive to kill all enemies. Their enemies being those their high priest has defined for them. We are also presented with a softer side. Believe in Allah and do good deeds. Treat your brethren with love. It sounds so familiar to Jesus’ Two Greatest Commandments.

When you’ve finished your book, I hope the message will be clear. The world can be a different, a better place if we would just listen to God.

I think it’s time for bed.

Good night and enjoy a dry bed.

Chapter 8

GOD!

I’m here.

There is a comfort knowing You are always there.

Not always, sometimes I just don’t want to talk to you. I know what’s on your mind and I just don’t want to deal with it.

If I really need You, then You’re there. However, if I’m just my normal whining self, You have other things to handle.

You are perceptive.

I don’t know if You’re being facetious or what.

Let’s face it. You can be a whiner at times. Either that or you want something I’m just not going to do. The reality of things is you know when you’re being that way and you know why I’m not answering.

How about peeing in my bed? That was just whining.

Not really, you were going downhill fast with Sister. Your nocturnal emissions were wearing thin. Sister just didn’t need the aggravation and you needed some help.

What needs fixing, You will fix. You are the judge.

I am God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth and all that is on it. The humans on earth have definitely screwed things up. Every time I’ve tried to show humanity the way to heaven, they have gotten it wrong. It’s not up to God to fix the mess.

There are many places where You have tried to show us the way. I’ve concentrated my research to the Abrahamic Religions. The oldest would be the Word of God delivered to Moses. The first five books of the Old Testament (the Torah) come from Moses. Judaism believes these to be the voice of Yahweh. Jesus would deliver the next Word of God. Jesus’ teachings are contained in the three synoptic Gospels—Matthew, Mark, and Luke. Christianity considers them the voice of God. Muhammad delivers the next Word of Allah. The Angel Gabriel instructed him to “Recite in the name of your Lord.” This recitation is the Koran. Islam believes the Koran is the voice of Allah.

Have you reconciled the fact that all three religions preach the same message from God and yet have grown to be anti each other? What happened in the first century must have set the stage.

To our defense, knowing what went on back in the first century isn’t easy. It’s

not like there were films and recordings. Whatever Jesus said was filtered by a couple of translations and by man. What survived is written in Greek. Jesus spoke Hebrew or Aramaic. If Jesus knew Greek, it would have been very little.

Why did Muhammad some 600 years later know the message had been lost?

Are You saying God spoke to the Prophet?

You’re asking for Divine Revelation again. It’s not going to happen. Just use your head. Don’t you see any consistency?

I see a lot of consistency between being a Muslim, a Jew, or a Christian. However, when you look at the religions, they are all hell-bent to claim complete inconsistency between them. The Jews hate the Arabs, hate the Gentiles, hate the Muslims, hate the Jews, hate the Catholics, and on, and on. The more fundamental in belief means the more hatred for anything different.

What are the consistencies?

Let’s start where all religions start. Let’s start with Abraham. In Genesis 21: 1213,

But God said to Abraham: “Do not be distressed about the boy or about your slave woman. Heed the demands of Sarah, no matter what she is asking of you; for it is through Isaac that descendants shall bear your name. As for the son of the slave woman, I will make a great nation of him also,

since he too is your offspring.”

The story unfolds that Sarah had failed to produce an offspring. She offered her slave, Hagar, as Abraham’s concubine. A male offspring, Ishmael, was born. It was after this that Sarah became pregnant and gave birth to Isaac. Hagar and Ishmael were driven out by Sarah who refused to have Isaac share his inheritance with the firstborn. The Jews claim heritage to Abraham through Isaac. The Arabs claim of heritage to Abraham is through Ishmael. The Gentile or Christian claim is a little fuzzy. The new converts would have to go back to Noah for a common ancestor. The Christian maintains its Jewish heritage by adopting the Jewish Bible as their Old Testament. Regardless of the genetics, all three beliefs claim heritage back to Abraham. There is the belief the promises of Jesus were for everyone not just the Jews. The Promised Land was now available to all people, not just the chosen. In Mark 11:17 Jesus says, My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples. Jesus, however, apparently didn’t really accept that expansiveness. In Matthew 10: 5-6, Jesus’ instruction to the Apostles was, Do not visit pagan territory and do not enter a Samaritan town. Go instead after the lost sheep of the house of Israel. In spite of this apparent conflict, it was very early in the dispersal of the Apostles that Gentiles were included. Their ministry expanded throughout the then Roman Empire. Like it or not the Arab, the Jew, and the Christian spring from the same well. Ancestry from Abraham or Noah does not change the fellowship in praising the Lord, be He, Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, or God.

You’re doing a lot of quoting from the Bible. Are you saying it is the Word of God?

Jews, Muslims, and Christians hold up their Books as the Word of God. They claim absolute submission to the words. My argument is simply that the core message from God is the same. Although the Books have been translated and printed by man, they still contain the Word of God. It’s not the Books that are in disagreement but the religions that hold the books up as their reason for being. When King Henry VIII took over Catholic property and claimed separation from Catholicism, and a new version of the Bible was created. The King James Version is born from the idea the Catholics had obviously gotten it all wrong. The new version was the result of a new vision guided by God. Revelation was again rampant.

You sound a little bitter. What’s so wrong with each faction wanting to claim his or her revelations are better than someone else’s are? Consider Baptism. Sects lay claim to the purity of their rite. For some, you must immerse yourself completely, for others a few drops of water are sufficient. Catholics have their Baptism as a baby. Many Protestant sects feel it can only be after an acceptance of Jesus. Each has some line or paragraph in the Bible that substantiates their claims.

Why is it so hard for them to get the message? If the Books are the Word of God, then why do they ignore what is written.

You have an itch and you’re not going to quit until you scratch it. What is the big problem?

The one that probably causes me the biggest heartache is the vow of poverty. Certain Catholic orders, priests, nuns, and brothers take a vow of poverty. Secular priests and that includes all the Bishops, the Monsignors, the Cardinals, and of course the Pope, are not bound by any such vow. They grow rich as they proclaim their service to God.

The different Christian sects seem to in their desire for riches. They have no more interest in poverty than anyone else does. Don’t leave the Muslims out. Clerics not only grow rich but also develop their own armies to further their power. I haven’t kept up with the Billy Graham saga but I guess his estate is worth millions and the heirs are all positioning themselves to get their share.

The Bible is rather clear about that. Go ahead let me hear your quotes.

In Matthew 10: 9-10, Jesus is talking to the Apostles and giving them instructions on their mission. Provide yourselves with neither gold nor silver nor copper in your belts; no traveling bag, no change of shirt, no sandals, no walking staff. The workman, after all, is worth his keep.

In Mark 6: 8-9, Jesus is again giving instructions. He instructed them to take nothing on their journey but a walking stick—no food, no traveling bag, not a coin in the purses in their belts. They were, however, to wear sandals. “Do not bring a second tunic,” he said.

In Luke 9: 3, Jesus is again giving instructions. Jesus advised them: “Take nothing for the journey, neither walking staff nor traveling bag; no bread, no money. No one is to have two coats.”

All right, the vow of poverty isn’t popular. Religious leaders get rich, no matter what belief they are preaching. There may not be a consistency in their approach to religion; however, there is consistency in their drive to get rich.

How did all this drive for money even get started?

The early Christians initially looked to the Apostles. Having known and walked with Christ was the secret handshake. During Jesus’ ministry, there was little money. Nothing in the Bible reflects silver chalices, silk robes, or massive cathedrals. That all changed after Jesus’ crucifixion. Maybe the money was too good. At the beginning, the pathway to being saved was to give all your money to the Apostles. There was a communal sharing of the wealth. You can see where riches were amassed quite quickly. Paul came into the act not as an Apostle or someone who knew Jesus but as an anointed one. If we use the same logic as naming Jesus, Jesus Christ, we could call out Paul Christ, or Paul Christos, or Paul the anointed one. Paul had seen the light. Jesus has come into his heart and told him what to do. He had a revelation. This revelation translated into accepting donations. These were first for expenses but it wasn’t long before the amounts far exceeded what was needed.

That sounds a little hypocritical. The early bishops can’t have all been in it for the money.

For what else? Do you really think doing good and preaching the word was the sole attraction to being a bishop? Let’s face it. The job paid well and had few qualifications. The only ability required was public speaking. Many bishops could get away with only small groups. The larger cities required speaking in front of larger groups. When you add some self-confidence, you have the required qualifications. By the fourth century AD, Constantine made Christianity the official religion of the Eastern Roman Empire, later known as the Holy Roman Empire. Having both religious and civil authority was the key to the treasury.

Civil authorities have never served in poverty. The power to tax is the power to get rich. Kings with all their regal trappings were wealthy on the backs of their citizens. Every religion required some form of donation. The pathway to heaven was indeed paved with gold.

There’s much more than just wealth. There is the social standing. The Reverend Billy Graham would not have been invited to the White House had he been poor. The real benefit is the power to control, to have people obey your every wish. An Imam declares a Holy War and followers leap to put on the suicide vest. If people believe so much in their leaders, why not ask Bin Laden to lead the next suicide attack. When the preacher says follow me into battle doesn’t anyone ever notice he frequently leads from the rear. Religions are a business. Money collected does not serve the poor but serves the religion. Silver chalices do not come cheap.

The clerics are busy getting rich and expanding their authority. However, aren’t the rich almost barred from getting into heaven?

Not really. The Koran makes giving to the poor a required step to heaven but doesn’t compel the rich to become poor. Jesus was, however, quite harsh on the rich. Throughout the New Testament, the rich are onished to give up all of their wealth.

In Mark 10: 25 Jesus says,

It is easier for a camel to through a needle’s eye than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

In Matthew 19: 23-24 Jesus says,

I assure you, only with difficulty will a rich man enter into the kingdom of God. I repeat what I said: it is easier for a camel to through a needle’s eye than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

The divestiture of wealth to the Church was encouraged as a pathway to heaven. Acts 4: 33-35,

With power the apostles bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great respect was paid to them all; nor, was there anyone needy among them, for all who owned property or houses sold them and donated the proceeds. They used to lay them at the feet of the apostles to be distributed to everyone according to his need.

All sorts of stories arose which gave testimony to the fact that getting the camel through the eye of the needle was difficult but not impossible. Christianity needed to assure the rich that they could go to heaven. The rich have been necessary to the Church. Far be it for the Church to deny their possibility of entering the Kingdom of God. Instead of understanding the statement, they have reached new heights in defending the rich’s right to heaven.

Do you believe Jesus said it was improbable if not impossible for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God? Do you believe there could be no plausible denial to the statement?

I do.

Ouch! You just lost the rich as an audience.

I also believe the rich can enter the Kingdom of God.

You sound as convoluted as all those stories about the eye of the needle.

The key is in the definition of the word—rich. It’s a relative term. I think the best definition of rich is having more than you need.

Then you have to define need. The rich socialite suing her ex-husband for alimony argues for a monthly stipend that could a dozen families. Is her claim only to meet her needs?

Needs are almost impossible to determine. Each person has to evaluate at what level his or her needs are being met. What I think is forgotten in all this, is that God knows all. God knows if you are giving to the poor. God knows what is in your heart.

You think the key is in the giving, not with how much you have.

Nor with how much you give. The giving can be a problem. Your name on a building is expensive but not giving. Giving in return for awards and accolades is not giving. Giving for tax benefits is not giving. It’s buying fame and fortune.

Giving directly to those in need is difficult. It requires innovation and study. It can be done without giving to huge corporations that have large payrolls and beautiful buildings. Giving must be directly to those that need. It can be done.

God will know and maybe the camel will fit through the eye of the needle. What have we gained through all this?

Are You asking why am I having this conversation? Why do I feel those words of Yours in my head?

Your conversation is with the voice in your head. Do you now think the voice comes from God, or is God?

Not really, I still think I’m talking to myself. I’m the one who has read the history of our world. I’m the one who feels sad at the cruelty, throughout history and today, in the name of religion. I’m the one raising these questions and I really think I am the one providing these answers.

You still doubt. You have done the reading. You have done the research. What you haven’t done is figure out whether God is interfering or helping. You still want to know that one side of your conversation is coming from God. You have little faith but a lot of intuition. Where has it gotten you?

I know without a doubt that there is a God, maker of heaven and earth. In Genesis 1:27,

God created man in his image: in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them.

Things didn’t quite work out. Free will meant Adam and Eve could and would most grievously sin. You turned them out to begin a population here on earth. Populations sprung up throughout the world with multiple religions and multiple gods. The Golden Rule was prevalent, at least in theory. The rule was there but not the behavior. Judaism developed the idea of one God. They also proclaimed themselves the chosen people. They were the only people listening to their one God. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob gave the religion and the people a start. Theocracy was born. Wars to win or keep property were fought and won. They were always in God’s name. Places were called holy, rites were deemed holy, dress code or hairstyle was conforming to God’s wishes, and a powerful religion was born. Jesus was born into this religion. Many believed he was the Messiah. He would restore the Jewish Kingdom. Instead, Jesus was a populist. Man could deal directly with God. The two Greatest Commandments—love only one God, One Holy and love each other. The meek were the favored and man was to turn the other cheek. He was a threat to the business of religion. In Matthew 21:12,

Jesus entered the temple precincts and drove out all those engaged there in buying and selling. He overturned the money-changers’ tables and the stalls of the dove-sellers.

Jesus most important message was that the God of Abraham was the God of all humanity. Jews, gentiles, whites, blacks, yellows, browns, and people of all colors and persuasions could enter the Kingdom of God. The message was simple: love God and love each other. The new religion broke away from Judaism and almost immediately began to reap the rewards of preaching. The Church grew in wealth as fast as it grew in converts. Its message was believe in Jesus and you will be saved. The one God

became a Trinity wherein there were three God’s in one. A wide variety of sects flourished in the early years, preaching Jesus’ message but not a Trinity. The new Church needed Jesus to be a God. It wasn’t uncommon at the time to have many gods in one. The multiple gods were personifications of different features or personalities of the main god. The Nicene Creed in the fourth century AD would dictate there were three Gods in One. Getting around the constant onition that there is but one God was not easy but necessary. The very basis of the new religion was Jesus. Forget that his message was clearly from God, from his Father in heaven. It was important to the Church leaders that followed the Apostles, to have Jesus as a God. There is no evidence that any Apostle considered Jesus God. The Trinity was born. Everyone moved up one notch. Instead of disciples of a prophet, they became disciples of God. These elite could understand the Trinity because they were close to God. It was Catch-22. The Trinity was only understandable by revelation from God. Jesus was doing the revealing—ergo Jesus was God. The extent of discourse from believing in the Trinity is hard to measure. Many viewed Jesus as a Prophet. By the fourth century, the new Church was powerful and rich. It was heretical to question the Trinity. Heretics were condemned to death. Their writings were destroyed. The new Church was vigilant in stopping all discourse in defiance of this belief. It’s nice to think there was one Church from the very beginning. Jesus was crucified and the Apostles started a new religion. It didn’t happen that way. There was little agreement in the early days. Some tried to stay with the message from Jesus and not deal with the question of divinity. Each bishop was free to ister his diocese as he saw fit. There was always the argument that one bishop had more power than another did. It started with the bishops of Antioch, Alexandria, Jerusalem, and Rome. The destruction of Jerusalem and Constantine becoming a Christian meant the Church would be centered in Constantinople. The Emperor could and did remove bishops, taking away their property and installing new bishops. The new bishop would preach in line with the central authority.

Massive shifts of populations and changes in governments left Rome having more power. The Bishop of Rome’s input became a requirement for Church affairs. It wasn’t until the 13th century AD that the rules for election of a Pope were laid down. The infallibility of the Pope was not accepted until Vatican I, 1869-1870. What all this means is there wasn’t one Church, one thought, or one religion. Bishops guarded their power ferociously. After all, each bishop’s power to rule was direct from an Apostle. Bishops were consecrated by an Apostle or another bishop ergo each claim of authority stemmed from this direct link to an Apostle. With all this diversity came a plethora of creeds. The bishops of the major city centers began to exercise their power and force a consolidation of ideas. Those left out, those with different views were gradually silenced. Muhammad, the Prophet, was born into this turmoil. He was a devout person who spent much time in isolation, meditating. During these periods of isolation the Koran was born. The Koran is a group of writings by Muhammad and interpreted as the Word of God. Its primary message seemed to show a God angry at how Jesus’ message had been distorted. The simple message was repeated: love God, only one God, love each other, and do good deeds. The Koran repeats much of the Old Testament. There is conflict but there is also a recurring theme that Allah knows all and is the Dictator of life and death. Allah’s wrath shall fall on a believer who kills another believer. Allah and only Allah shall be praised. On the one hand make war on the nonbeliever but on the other be courteous. Offer Peace as a greeting. The mixture of anger and love is rampant throughout. Allah is definitely mad at those who have ignored His message. Allah lashes out against the Trinity. The real message of the Koran is one of love and peace. Allah is all-powerful, the Merciful, and will decide life and death. In spite of the words in the Koran, Muslim battles against Muslim in the name of Allah. Men and women commit suicide, killing indiscriminately and believe their act will bring them the promise of heaven. There is so much hate and anger in the name of Allah. The Koran, the Bible, and the Torah were not meant to be precursors of war. God wanted humans to do right. He wanted them to Him in heaven. He wanted them to believe in God, to love God, and to love each other. How did war,

killing, and persecution come out of that effort? I don’t think everyone missed the boat. I traveled in portions of the Middle East: Bahrain, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. I frequently heard the expression “Insha’Allah’. I was told it is an expression translated as “if God wills it” but it meant much more. It was an overwhelming belief in Allah and His power to decree life and death. It translated into blindly driving through a red light having a firm belief that nothing would happen unless Allah dictated it to happen. I was always impressed with the peace and love of the average citizen. The taxis did not have meters. It was natural to ask the fare when first entering the vehicle. It wasn’t perfect in settling the amount as the driver could and sometimes did increase the required amount upon the conclusion of the journey. However, it did seem to be a good practice. My first ride in Bahrain from the airport to the hotel was somewhat disconcerting. I had asked the driver what the fare would be and his reply was “Whatever you want.” I pushed further and asked, “What if I pay nothing?” He seemed unconcerned and said, “Insha’Allah, whatever you wish to pay will be enough.” When I arrived at the hotel, I did a mental calculation comparing other cab fares at other airports and arrived at five dinars as a fair amount. It became my regular payment as I frequently traveled to Bahrain. At a gathering of fellow travelers, the subject of fares, airport to hotel, came up. I learned others were only paying three dinars. I questioned the calculation but there wasn’t any calculation. They could get away with the smaller amount. The Christian would pay as little as possible. The Muslim would accept whatever was paid. I continued my regular fare—five dinars. What was the lesson? What meaning has my story to the discussion of beliefs? What we see in all the warfare and killing in the name of Allah is not what Islam is. What I saw in my fellow traveler was not what Christianity is. The meaning is that the message from Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah, and God somehow got lost. The message from Jesus got lost. Allah did not ask man to govern in His name—to form a theocracy. Allah did not ask man to correct the world through the killing of all people who believe differently. God did not ask man to tell each other how to behave or how to act.

Okay, you’re getting a little longwinded. Is there an answer somewhere?

We are not listening. Man has a penchant to tell other people what to do. Man wants to be in control. Man has not improved much from Adam and Eve. Man thinks he knows better than God does. Maybe the result is You have not had many enter the Kingdom of God.

Do you understand why? Have you begun to see the process? Are you better today than yesterday?

I am beginning to understand. You don’t make it easy. You give us two Commandments. We are to love God and love each other, including ourselves and all the animals You have created. Do this and we will the test, we will go to heaven. Heaven is the ultimate place to be. Failure does not mean the worst punishment you ever heard of. Instead of the delights of heaven, you will spend an eternity in the vast dark reaches of the void. Heaven has substance, angels, and most importantly God. Here is the crux, heaven is not offered as a reward nor is the dark place a punishment. God is only interested in those who the test. God does not want those who only act in order to win a reward. We must have free will. We must want to love God and love each other independent of reward or punishment. I don’t think many get to heaven. It has to be a lonely place. Humans just can’t seem to get the message.

I think you’re probably a little too harsh. There are those who practice what God has preached. They go by many names, many different religions, but in essence they are the same. They love God and only one God. They do unto others, as they would have others do unto them. Adding to that, they give of themselves to others in need.

So, we are doing pretty well.

I wouldn’t say that. I just said there are a few and I would wish there were a lot more. Life on the planet earth could be so much better. War and crime could become nonexistent if you would just try. I watch human behavior and weep at what I see.

On behalf of humanity, I am sorry. I wish we could get the message. If only we could see how simple it is, we could eliminate greed. If only… .

It is simple. Love God, do good works, and give alms.

A simple message the human race has failed to get throughout the ages. I’m going to a dry bed. See You tomorrow.

Good night, James, sleep well. I am here.

Chapter 9

GOD!

The journey continues.

In both the Bible and the Koran, there are references to angels. There is also a reference to a war between angels. The losing side was led by Lucifer. They were banished from heaven. Lucifer is active throughout the Books. First bringing Eve to the tree of knowledge of good and bad and then frequently showing up as the personification of evil. The Books tell us the devil is always trying to get humans in trouble. Angels are there, in the Books, but not described. I think angels are spirits created by God.

Are you accepting the words in the Books?

I accept the Bible and the Koran as containing messages from God. I think much is lost in the work of scribes and in translation. I think somewhere in these pages God’s message is written.

If God created angels, then why create man?

You’re the One who should answer that, but let me try, as I know You will .

Let me jump forward a bit. When a baby is born and the first breath of life is infused into its lungs, the baby gains a soul. That soul is a spirit with all the features of angels only restricted by an earthly life. When the body dies and through its behavior on earth earns a place in heaven, the soul s the other angels in heaven as an angel. Angels existed before God created man. Angels are companions to God. They can come to, or at least appear on earth and they look the same as we do. After all, we are made in God’s image, as are the angels. Sometime before man, one of the angels decided he was bigger and better than all the other angels were. He began to believe he was a god and tried to take over and there was war. The angels loyal to God fought against a band led by Lucifer. The good ones won. The angels disloyal to God were banned from heaven. They would continue for an eternity in the far reaches of the void in cold and darkness.

You have a vivid imagination.

What I don’t understand is why would God just stand by and watch angels fight. Why wouldn’t He just eliminate the bad ones with a blink of His eye?

You could also ask why God doesn’t interfere on earth. The answer’s simple. There is only one God. Maybe that isn’t as simple as I think. It is the most important statement I can make. There is only one, only one God. He doesn’t destroy His creations.

Lucifer wanted to be a god and that can’t happen. He can’t win the battle with God. God will always win, as there is only one God. Evil can never triumph over good because there is only one God. God allows good and evil to exist so there is always a choice. Yet, in the long run evil can never win.

You’re saying the words but I don’t think you understand.

It’s not as easy as it looks. On earth, we see good and evil. Evil seems to be the stronger of the two. Give up your seat and you don’t have a seat. My job involved a lot of travel. Airports are always a mess. I often traveled first class and could avoid the mobs at the ticket counter. However, that wasn’t always the case. In the pushing and shoving to be next in line, I would usually step back and let others go before me. I was under the horrible illusion that as I had a ticket and a seat assignment I needn’t worry. One time that didn’t work. A woman had pushed her way in front of me and then let a large family step in with her. When I got to the counter I was told—no more seats, all sold out. No matter how much I argued that I had a “guaranteed” seat, the answer was always the same. I would wait for the next flight. For some reason I always thought of that missed flight. Had I not been so nice, I would have had a seat. Being a nice person meant flying the next day. Good is not always so rewarding.

So you began to think that evil or bad does win out.

At least in the short term.

Life on earth is a short term. Graft, corruption, stealing, and all those quote bad unquote things usually end up with riches and a good life. Get mine and to hell with the rest. If there is a God, then where is He?

We’ve gone through God exists and everything we see or know is because of God. God is the Creator. God is the Beginning and the End. Where is God? Why can’t I see Him? Why can’t I know Him? Why is evil so rewarding?

Evil is here. It is now. You can see it. It’s money, the good life, the better seats, the faster car, the bigger house. People listen to evil. They pay attention. Think about that. Can you really picture God?

If I am in His image then I look like Him.

Is it like your mental picture of Jesus? Am I white, black, brown, or yellow? Do I have long hair? Are my eyes blue? Just what picture do you have in your thoughts?

The only thought that comes to mind is of color. Some time in grade school, I was taught about colors. I learned which came together to make another. I later learned about the frequency of color. The color we see is the frequency of light being reflected. Black does not reflect any light. White reflects all the color frequencies of light. It’s why a black car seems always warmer than a white one. As God is totality, He has to be pure white or pure black. Black is absorbent, taking in all the colors. With black, there is no light. White shines brightly radiating brilliance. We often think of white as good and black as evil. God must be pure white. Everything white—every color reflected. God is perfection. With all of this, I still don’t have a picture. You are there but not as a picture. You are a feeling, a thought, or I don’t know. You are there but I’ve never painted a picture of you. The only representation I can think of is a head amongst the clouds. There isn’t a distinct body, not much more than a pair of eyes. NO, I don’t have a picture of God. I don’t have a picture of good. Pure white is

not a picture. It’s just a color. It’s all an illusion. We can’t touch it or use it. It won’t buy a first class seat.

You have studied God more than most people have. You’ve strained your brain to decipher God’s existence and behavior. Yet, you have never put a picture with the thought.

Maybe that’s why Christians have accepted Jesus as God. He has a face, a body, a whole personification that one can see. I have serious doubts that the pictures we have, the statues, and the representations are anything like Jesus. We don’t want to think of a full-grown man, who has never had a bath or a shower, or whose personal hygiene consists of which hand is used to wipe and which hand is used to eat. No fingernail clippers, no haircuts, no razor blades, and wearing what we would call rags—homespun and full of holes. Jesus was not rich. He did not preach to the crowds from a shiny gold plated pulpit. He stood on a mound of dirt. He did not hold a bejeweled silver chalice in his hands. No Christian rite does His memory justice. He offered nothing in this world. His reward was living with Him in heaven.

Humans have glorified Jesus. They made him a god. His every word is quoted as the Word of God. His statue is in every church. His picture is everywhere. However, the real Jesus is left behind. After all, Christians do not like Jews. A poor Jew roaming the countryside with a band of miscreants makes for a lousy model. Instead, a new Jesus is worshiped and glorified in expansive rich churches. A screen idol becomes the face of Christianity.

It started with I believe in God the Father. Today it’s I believe in Jesus Christ. Jesus was his name, not Jesus Christ. There were no last names in Jesus’ time. Jesus, which was a common name, would have been known as Jesus the Nazarene or Jesus of Nazareth. Christ came from Christos, the Greek for the anointed one or the Messiah. Jesus was first called Jesus the Christos or Jesus

the Messiah. This gradually evolved to Jesus Christ. Christ does not mean God. I think the problem is that the concentration was on Jesus not on what Jesus had to say. The two Greatest Commandments were lost in the rush to symbolize every aspect of Jesus’ ministry. The last supper, the spear wound in his side, blood, water, bread, all became symbols of the new church. Jesus, the name of a Jewish Prophet, went from Jesus the Nazarene, to Jesus the son of God, to Jesus the Christos or Messiah, to Jesus Christ, to Jesus God of true God.

What happened to the God of your ancestors? What happened to the God of Abraham, of Moses, and of Noah? What is wrong with dealing with God the Father? After all, He is the Father of Jesus and all humanity.

I think His perfection and the fact he is God puts us off. Jesus is a person. He suffered and died on the cross. His ministry is filled with humanly struggle. We can relate. With God, He is almighty and powerful and fear creeps in. One can do no more than bow and scrape in His presence.

That is exactly what God does not want. Think of it. If you want company, a room full of bowing and scraping penitents is really a bore.

You gave us free will but you also instilled in our minds the majesty and power of God. We needed a friendlier God. We needed Jesus. Free will created the belief in Jesus as not only the son of God but as God. I can’t think of this as evil. Jesus is easier to deal with. Allowing Jesus to be God or a Prophet doesn’t take away from your message. Believers and nonbelievers still have the free will to abide or not abide by your two Greatest Commandments.

Are you saying that granting free will is no more than a test?

I’m not sure test is the right word. It’s clear that without free will there is no independence. Independence is what makes thing interesting. When someone has no power of his or her own then how do you have a conversation? If you ask a question and you know the answer then there is no question. Free will creates diversity. It makes things interesting. It also allows for variations that may not be desired. God created the angels and gave them free will. Lucifer could opt to be evil because God let that be a possibility. Once the choice was made, the outcome was set. Choosing evil means choosing to be away from God. Choosing to be with God is choosing good. Humans have the same choice. They may get there by different means but the important thing is do they choose good or evil.

What is so hard about that? You have been given free will. You can choose evil or good. In your now world, evil has more rewards. Good is something far off and somewhat fuzzy. The problem is it isn’t true. You miss the point. Good can have its rewards in the now. Doesn’t anyone realize the world would be a nicer place if good took over from evil? Evil offers an individual a reward there on earth. It offers darkness and a void after your life on earth. Good offers happiness for all. It’s a communal thing. Being good helps your neighbor. Helping neighbors does offer a better life. The nice thing about good is that in your afterlife you will stroll in the luscious Garden of Eden.

Free will allows us to choose. The fact that those that opt for evil will spend an eternity in darkness and nothing is lost on us. We just can’t reconcile punishment that seems harsh and cruel. It doesn’t fit with the image of the God who loves us and will forgive those who seek forgiveness.

You’ve made it through that God exists and He created the planet you live on, the animals that share that planet, and humanity itself. You seem to have accepted

God is omnipotent and all-powerful. You have reasoned God had cause to do all this. God wanted to populate heaven. You struggle with the fact that only the good get in. Heaven doesn’t do well with evil. Let even the smallest of evil in and heaven is destroyed. Is it so hard to understand God?

Man is severely limited in his ability to understand God. For the first six or seven centuries after Jesus died, there was a wealth of religious zeal. Not all religions stayed with monotheism. They weren’t religions at all. They only dealt with behavior. The world painted God in different colors and shapes. Humans do not see God’s message clearly. We don’t want to accept that we have to behave well. It’s better just to say we believe and go on amassing wealth at the expense of others. To require good behavior flies in the face of Christianity that says believe and you will be saved. Instead, we’re saying behavior is what will get you into heaven. Your behavior has to be acceptable to God. In the beginning, it was believe in the Apostles’ Creed and you are saved. Fight for the Pope in the Crusades and you are saved. Commit suicide at the behest of an Imam and kill indiscriminately and you are saved. Throughout history, continuing to today, Church leaders have onished their followers to do their bidding, believe in Allah, and get a quick trip to heaven. All sins are forgiven.

Nowhere in any book or in any translation can you justify all the killing. Now, listen closely. If you really read the Books, you would realize behavior is the key. Good behavior will get you to heaven. Bad behavior will put you in the dark far reaches of the void.

Somehow, we just kept getting it wrong. We have ignored the requirement to behave. We just don’t get this spiritual thing. The reward for behavior is an eternity as a spirit, whereas we have envisioned reward and punishment as physical. We have believed our bodies would be resurrected and we would enjoy pleasure or pain. We have clung to our flesh and bone. Punishment has to do

with physical pain. We picture the evil doer tossed into a fiery hell where he suffers for eternity. The good warrior who dies in battle has naked virgins and flowing streams to welcome him.

Contrast that with the idea that when you die the body dies. You can no longer feel pain. The soul is not physical and doesn’t feel pain. The soul that hasn’t made the grade cannot suffer physical pain but instead suffers an eternity away from God in the dark reaches of the void.

Fire and brimstone are a part of the Books. Punishment from God Almighty is a frequent theme. Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed with fire and brimstone for their sins. I have to it there are mixed signals. Lucifer and his followers were banished from heaven. Only when we fictionalize Lucifer, do we picture him in the fires of hell. The inconsistency is that burning fire is a human punishment. It requires flesh to have pain and suffering. It’s almost impossible to visualize a soul without any matter suffering from fire. Fire, as we know it, requires matter. Something has to burn. Souls or angels do not have bodies. They may be in the likeness of God but they are not earth born, they are not flesh and bones. If hell has no physical matter and bodies do not exist there, then what about heaven. We can only surmise there are no bodies in heaven. How good is heaven if we don’t have bodies to enjoy it?

You are right! Humans are stuck with the fact that their existence on earth is a material one. Throughout the ages, man has tried to describe heaven and hell using the words and ideas formed on earth. Hell was the easiest. Fire is tortuous and feared by all. What is forgotten is that you are on a planet with a short life, considering the eons that make up eternity. Man’s life on this earth is even shorter. It is but a speck in time, an instant.

When the whole universe ends and man as a human is no longer, there will still be something. You’ve reasoned God threw out that ball to set matter in motion and create the universe. You’ve reasoned God exists in a realm without time and without motion. In that realm, there is no matter as you know it. You don’t have words to describe it. I can assure you it is not much different than you have on that blue planet of yours. God and angels have substance and occupy space. You’ve been on horseback in the late fall. A cold wind at your back, the horse’s tail tucked between his legs. You could feel the heat of the horse rising through the saddle. You looked out unto green hills and valleys, sunlight dancing through the trees. The only sound was your breath and the beat of your heart. How did you feel?

Like heaven. Yet, I don’t have words to describe it.

Heaven is a beautiful place. You will be in the presence of all of the wonder and brilliance of God. Believe me it is the place to be. Man has been given the opportunity to experience the feeling of being in heaven. It can best be compared to peace and serenity.

We’re back to that faith thing. We can only relate to physical properties. I know the scene on the horse had a spiritual aspect to it. However, it was the sum total of my physical experience, which brought it about. I could feel and see in order to have my euphoria.

It was an example of what heaven might be like. Although God and heaven exist on a different plane than the world you live in, it doesn’t mean it loses the qualities of life. Think of the Garden of Eden, where there is no evil, there is no bad behavior, and everyone loves God and loves each other.

To see, to hear, to smell, to touch, and to taste need matter.

I really wish you would have a little faith. Why is it you have to understand everything? Can’t you take a little on faith? If man were made in the image of God why would you think, when you are in the presence of God, all sensory perception would cease to exist. You try to understand what heaven is. Isn’t it enough to know it is with Me?

I’m not sure. I know we should love God, most of all because He is the one who created us. It’s as if we’re back to “have faith.” Heaven is hard to understand. Getting there seems even harder. Have many ed the test?

Surprisingly, there’s not many. When I think of the test, I have to wonder, why is it so difficult? I have only asked compliance with two Commandments. Love one God and love each other. Loving one and only one God would appear to be the most difficult. It would seem both Commandments would be obvious. Revelation is not necessary to understanding these two Commandments. First and probably the most important:

Deuteronomy 6:4, The Lord is our God, the Lord alone!

Mark 12:28-29, Which is the first of all the commandments? Jesus replied: “This is the first: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone!”

Matthew 22:36-37, Teacher, which commandment of the law is the greatest? Jesus said to him: “You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, and with all your mind.”

Stop and think of what God is?

Having looked up various definitions in various places, I think I found the reference You want. Paraphrasing I would define God as a Supreme Being having powers over the lives and affairs of people. I’m guessing the important part here is having powers over the lives and affairs of people.

That wasn’t so hard was it?

Throughout history there have been many kings, pharaohs, etc. who have at the very minimum felt they ruled by divine right. Some even went so far as to claim immortality. In the Middle Ages, it was common for kings to be crowned by the Pope or a bishop. However, I think You mean more than that.

When someone has power over the lives and affairs of people, they are playing god. This first Commandment is all about playing god.

The Ayatollah plays god. The Pope plays god. The President plays god. I could go on and on. The cop directing traffic plays god. The parking lot attendant who tells you where to park plays god. Probably the worst everyday offenders are the political office holders, the lawyers, and the doctors. Are all of these violating the first Commandment?

It is a very fine line. Any leader is given the power over a group. It’s how this power is used that determines whether one is playing god. A president, a prime minister, and even a king are in a position to lead a nation. If in so doing one leads the nation for the good of all of its then one is doing his or her duty. If, however, he acts on behalf of one group to the detriment of another, or if he imposes his will because he can, or if he fails to rule with justice for all, then he is playing god. The judgment of crossing the line or not belongs to the individual and to God. Something so many forget. God knows all.

Should the ruled overthrow a heinous leader?

There you go, wanting to play god. Most revolutions involve one group wanting to depose the ruling group so they can rule. Everyone wants to play god.

There has to be situations when the ruled have a right to rise up and overthrow a tyrant. When an individual is physically attacked by those in power, does he have a right of self-defense?

When does the right of self-defense overrule all other rights and obligations? The Bible grants the right of self-defense. The Koran grants the right of selfdefense. The founding fathers of the United States empowered the citizens to selfdefense when granting the right to bear arms. Throughout history, ruling parties have enacted arms bans denying the right to self-defense. There are very few instances when the right of self-defense would not be appropriate. As a rule, every human being has the right of unrestricted selfdefense. I am specifically denying the proposition of like response. When attacked, use whatever means are at hand to defend yourself.

That’s a far-reaching license.

When Lucifer rose up to be a god, he attacked the angels siding with God. Had he strutted around heaven, orating to all who could hear that he was a god, there would be no action. However, when he attacked angels, they had the right of self-defense. It is a right no one should take away.

Is the old eye for an eye rule the right way?

No, there you go expanding my words. Do not add your impression or opinion. Stick with what I am saying. Vengeance is not acceptable. Retaliation is not acceptable. Again, it is a form of playing god. You are making judgments and carrying out punishment. An eye for an eye allows feuds, blood killing, and all sorts of wrongs. Do not expand the right of self-defense. Self-defense means when attacked and only when attacked you can respond with whatever is at hand. There are no limitations. Like force is an excuse. It is the old “boys will be boys.” Boys who are boys can be killed. They don’t have a right of like force. You’re troubled.

Yes. We were discussing the first great Commandment. Somehow, it led to an examination of the right of self-defense.

Maybe rightfully so. You shouldn’t always assume that you are twisting my words and presenting your opinion. You do try that periodically but usually that voice in your head turns you around. I know the right to bear arms or the right of selfdefense is a subject near and dear to you.

When you expound on those playing god it’s natural to question if a God-fearing man has an obligation to do something about a despot. The current Muslim theme is to do just that. They war against all infidels, of course all in Allah’s name. They believe they are doing God’s work. I don’t know how many times I need to tell humanity—God does not need help. You are not on your planet to weed out evil and destroy the evil doers. Nothing in these two Commandments would give rise to any interpretation that has humans doing God’s work. Listen carefully. You have the right of self-defense. I did not put Adam and Eve on the earth to lie down and die the first time they were attacked by an animal. The earth was and is a violent place. If self-defense is not obvious then what is?

Each individual has the right of self-defense, am I right?

Each individual, each group, each sect, each nation, etc. The Jews during the Holocaust certainly had the right of self-defense. On rare occasions, they exercised that right.

I’m never sure if what I read in history books is fact or fiction, but in those few instances when the Jews did stand up, they all died.

They died for their right to free will and self-defense. Their death did not facilitate evil but stood as a symbol of good.

Maybe they were just turning the other cheek. In Luke 6:29 Jesus says, When someone slaps you on one cheek, turn and give him the other;

Jesus did not say when someone comes at you with a baseball bat turn the other cheek. His slap meant no more than an insult. When you’ve been insulted, turn the other cheek. Do not be quick to do battle. When attacked to do bodily harm, you have the right to act. Jesus was trying to tell you to act to diffuse argument and fights. Step away whenever possible. Too many fights start with the smallest slight and escalate into a war.

The flight or fight bodily reaction is one’s first decision. You’re saying we should take flight.

This is why there are so many interpretations to my words. I didn’t say take flight at every attack. I said you have the right of self-defense, but as with many of my words, you insert your own interpretation. The question of flight or fight isn’t simple. The circumstances have to be evaluated. I have seen a citizen of your country tried for murder when they decide to fight when they could have taken flight. You are onished to hide in your bathroom and lock the door and pray the police arrive before you are injured or something worse. Throughout history, rulers have seen the danger of allowing their subjects access to weapons. They ignore the right of self-defense as they worry that the oppressed may rise and attack the ruling party. In modern times, we see elected officials taking some of the same steps to keep weapons out of the hands of the populace. This is always done with the onition that laws against weapon ownership will keep criminals from having the means to commit crimes. What is always interesting is we always want to more laws for people who are already breaking existing law. ing a law restricting weapons isn’t going to stop a criminal from being a criminal.

All of this happens when people play god. They always worry about being deposed. Most try to expand the favored few into a favored lot. I guess the

thinking is the more that go down with me the less chance of my going down. Contrast the behavior of wannabe gods on earth with the one true God in heaven. The one true God has complete power over us but gives us free will and only wants us to do good. Those who practice being a god on earth will not see heaven. They have violated the most important or greatest Commandment. Lucifer wanted to be a god. Through the serpent he convinced Eve she could be a god. Here on earth his work continues, as there is a huge competition to be a god. We have so many playing at being a god. There is a massive competition to be the biggest god. All of this in the face of the fact there is but one God, one Holy. It’s not being jealous. It’s the fact that He is the only God and there cannot be other gods.

Why is that so hard to understand? Doesn’t anyone realize how good life would be if you could all quit trying to play god. Believe Me, you will never be a god. There is only One. Quit acting as if you are doing God’s work. Only God can do His work. Maybe you will realize the Pope is not close to God and is not holy, when you watch him hide behind bulletproof glass. All humanity will eventually face my judgment. Wake up people. Two Commandments can’t be that hard.

The second Commandment is,

Matthew 22:39-40:

The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments the whole law is based, and the prophets as well.

Mark 12:31:

This is the second, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

This is even simpler than the first. What is so hard to understand? When you greet your neighbor in the morning with a smile, you stand a good chance of him smiling back. Be good to others and many will be good to you. What a world you would have if you could just quit judging each other, if you could just quit trying to make them believe what you believe, or if you could just quit warring against what is different. Is failing to get your way so hard? Is it so hard to shut up and listen? Is it so hard to consider your opinion might not be the best or maybe is even wrong?

The first part, listening, is easy. The second part is where humanity fails miserably. We refuse to consider a contrasting opinion. Each religion preaches that any view in opposition to their teaching comes from the devil. Their cleric has taught the Word of God. The strength of the commitment to God, or Allah, or Jehovah, or whomever is the strength to ignore all conflicting information. The source can only be evil. Why else would a young Muslim strap on a suicide vest and go forth to kill men, women, children, and fellow Muslims. The cleric deviates from the Koran and threatens hell and damnation to any one questioning the instruction. We need to recapture ourselves. We need to stand up for what is right. We need to question everything and seek independent verification of anything dogmatic. When we do, we need to listen and consider opposite views. We need to consider what we’re hearing just as we want the other party to consider what we are saying.

You seemed to have learned to question dogma while quite young. I when you were a kid—third grade. Sister was teaching Religion and explaining that God ever was and ever will be. You didn’t mind until Sister explained that God knew everything, the past, the present, and the future. You rebelled at that

one. You could have kept your objection to yourself, but no, you had to make your case. You’re the only one at Saint Leo’s who could get straight A’s and B’s in your subjects but get a “U” in deportment, across the board.

I did and I do have the greatest respect for nuns. I think the decline and fall of the Catholic Church starts with the decline in the black and white habits. My problem was that if everything about the future is known then do we really have free will. I mean it’s sort of like the Muslim “Insha’Allah’, God’s will. If it’s God’s will then it isn’t mine. I respected Sister’s instruction but I was unwilling to accept it blindly.

It’s one of those conundrums. Is there any limit to God’s power? There isn’t any limit to God’s power. However, if God knows the future then how can it be a test? How can God know what doesn’t exist? The future hasn’t happened. When I ask you a question, I may know what your most probable answer will be but you do have the free will to surprise Me. You don’t know if you will the test. I don’t know, if I did why all this? Free will is exactly that—free will.

We were talking about the Golden Rule. Jesus said turn the other cheek. He just meant try to get along. Don’t always be confrontational. That was the supposed basis for the hippie revolution. It was an answer to war. An unpopular war was raging in Vietnam. Every eighteen year old was subject to the draft. There was the notion that all draftees ended up front line grunts. All we had to do was refuse to go when called. What would happen if they called a war and nobody came?

Wouldn’t it have been nice if they added respect for others? Wouldn’t it have been nice if they dressed themselves with some modicum of decency, and maybe taken a bath? What was their mission? Choose one: to avoid the draft, to have more sex, or to listen to overpaid musicians?

You don’t like hippies?

You don’t.

Do You know why?

You have to be kidding!

Yeah, but occasionally You could let on that I am giving You fresh information.

How do you connect the hippie revolution to loving your neighbor?

They called themselves the love children. If only we would love each other, there would be no war. Make love, not war. Many felt the cause or the igniter to the hippies’ revolution was the Vietnam War.

A high idea, wasn’t it?

Maybe, but it turned into drugs and sex. More importantly, it became the drop out generation. I would think that theirs was the wrong interpretation of the second Commandment.

You always have to evaluate your behavior based on what it produces. Dropping

out and having no responsibilities leads to just what happened. What was forgotten was they needed a society to allow their behavior. Where did the birth control pill come from that allowed random meaningless sex? Where did the money come from for drugs, for their clothes, and for their music? The hippies’ revolution consumed goods someone else paid for. The music icons leading the way only did so for outrageous payment. Did anyone think all that music at Woodstock was free? Nothing was free, including the cleanup after the mess the flower children left behind. Not even their flowers were free. Someone built the roads the love children traveled on. Someone built the cars. Someone piloted the planes and drove the buses. Loving your neighbor as yourself does not mean being a leech. When you drop out of your responsibilities, it means someone else has to pick up the slack. I would think it would be obvious. You do the best you can. You use all God has given you. You participate in society. You not only do your fair share but more if you can. What happens is that all too often man interprets my Word to suit his or her desires. A tragic war was raging in Vietnam. It was easier to claim religion then fear. Turn the other cheek was more acceptable. The advent of the birth control pill meant that women could assert the equal rights granted by God. At least they were doing onto themselves and not others. Much better than the cleric who twists my words and send a follower out to commit suicide.

Just two Commandments, but on these two the whole law is based, Matthew 22:40. I don’t think I have considered the ramifications of these simple words. Your test is not easy. One God wasn’t hard to understand. No other gods was the message. It meant don’t play at being a god. Lucifer was the first violator of that Commandment and many have followed. The rule is simple, no other gods and don’t play god. The second Commandment has a lot more to it than I thought. It’s not just loving your neighbor, it’s loving yourself and considering the consequences of your actions.

We got through what heaven and hell must be like and ended with the two Greatest Commandments. Not bad, go to bed. Give it a rest.

Chapter 10

GOD!

Ready to continue?

I think so.

Still stuck on whether it’s God you’re talking to?

I’m not sure it’s important. I mean whether You’re God or not.

That’s a biggie! Would you like to explain?

I’ve worked through God’s existence and creation. God has given me the intelligence and the will to struggle through these conversations. Each thought seems to be the basis for another thought. The discussions have been enlightening and thought provoking. I feel that if everyone would only stop and go through the same process, the world would be better off.

The process has been productive. Why isn’t it important that your conversations be with God?

Because, the ability to think is what God has given us. We don’t need God to say what is obvious. The lessons of history illustrate what a mess we make when we play god and look to our own welfare at the expense of another. It’s easier to believe in God and experience the warmth and comfort of His presence. We only need to consider our life on this planet and what we make of it.

What is obvious is you are not the center of the universe. You look around you and see the huge numbers of humans on the planet, you feel the immensity of the planet, and then you realize you are but a very small part of everything. Planet earth is just a small dot in the universe. Humanity is a small part of the planet and you are but one in how many million.

There are times when I can almost picture this small blue planet racing along in its orbit. As I step back from this image, I can view the violent ball of fire at the center of our planet system. Stepping even farther away, I see violence everywhere. I see massive rocks tumbling in all directions across a vast turmoil. There are titans spouting fire and brimstone, and gigantic collisions across a cosmic canvas. Surrounding all this is a dark void knowing no end. How many pictures have I seen that make up this vision? How much intelligence is necessary to consider something so enormous? I am a very small part of a very big thing and yet God has given me the capability to comprehend the immensity of it all. A universe I don’t yet understand but I know is a part of God, a part of You. I begin to appreciate this is not a game. God is serious.

Did you ever think He wasn’t?

I don’t think I gave it as much thought as I should have. I knew God was there. My experiences gave me every reason to know that He was around. Yet, I don’t

think I really thought of the immensity of it all. I guess as I’ve gone through the steps to Your existence and my purpose, it’s started to have an effect. God is always present. God is everywhere. He is present but never materializes on earth.

Why is that?

Matter is an accumulation of atoms. Atoms are in constant motion. Electrons can’t stand still. God is stillness. There is neither movement nor time. Where God is, there is no matter.

Yet, He is always with you. All you need do is think of Him and He is there.

Always there, and always reaching out to me. No matter how bad my behavior, God is never vengeful, never seeking retaliation, and never punishing.

You look for punishment. Throughout history, the threat of punishment has always been there. Sermons threaten with the fires of hell. Your law describes different levels of punishment for each crime. You feel obligated to punish. If you are the transgressor, you feel obligated to be punished. You focus on the negative.

We punish transgressors and we’re taught God punishes transgressors. We search out the guilty, bring them to trial, and then extract the appropriate punishment. We have revenge, which is punishment on a personal basis. We have retaliation, which is punishment for a perceived injustice or injury. We have this concept of equality between crime and punishment. Our society is based on a sliding scale of punishment appropriate to the crime.

What has that done for you? You believe if you violate a Commandment that God will send you to hell. You believe God is all-powerful and will strike down all sinners and nonbelievers. Why then do you believe that you are obligated to act on His behalf? Why do you believe that you must punish the evildoer, you must rid the world of sinners. The most fervent followers of Allah will kill all perceived enemies of Allah. The killing and the suicides are all in God’s name. Evil must be struck down. The world must be made safe for Allah. Why is it so hard to understand? If God wanted to strike out evil, He would. If God wanted to bring down a nation, He would. If God wanted religion to rule the world, it would happen. God is only concerned with who believes in Him, who loves him, and who loves one another. God is not concerned with punishment. Evildoers are not on His radar. Those that sin and ignore God’s words will find God indifferent. God is looking for the few who will get into heaven. Killing and committing suicide in His name is not the way to get there.

Those that kill, commit suicide, and ignore Allah’s message will get the big void, not the couch by the stream. What happens to those that commit the least of sins? They don’t kill and maim but they do nothing about those that do. They silently the fundamentalist in their blind adherence to a code devised by men not by Allah. They ignore the words of the Koran. What happens to them?

Simple, they don’t go to heaven.

Then no matter the degree of disobedience, all who do not love God and love each other are treated the same, no matter what the sin?

The same, they don’t go to heaven. Think of it as trying to get into a university,

the only university. You submit all your school records and highlight your 4.0 grade point. You record the various community services you’ve participated in. At some point the university will look at the type of person you are. Do they want you on their campus? It takes a straight “A” average and a lot more to become accepted into the university. As far as the university goes if you fail to be accepted that’s it, you are of no concern, you are not a part of the university. God does no more and no less. God is the final arbiter. On the good side, there is no limit to the number of souls itted. Heaven takes everyone who es the test. All good behavior is rewarded. Those who don’t make the cut aren’t invited and as in the case of the university they are soon forgotten. In both cases, the decision is final. Almost doesn’t count (only in horseshoes).

It seems You are cooking the books with how hard or how easy the test is. The straight “A” university student will typically come from a good home and economic middle or upper class. The environment, good parents, better schools, and everything associated with economic well-being leads to the ission. I don’t think it is won strictly on the merits of the individual. What happens to the child that is ghetto born, has crack-heads for parents, is bounced around in the foster system, exposed to the greed and corruption so rampant in that system, and is taught in a public school where getting an education is by accident? How much of a chance does this child have? How many with this background will get into the university? How many will get into heaven? The circumstances of your birth can be a good predictor of success and chances of getting to heaven. Growing up with a lack of education, in an environment that accepts crime as not only normal but necessary, and with the absence of any good examples, would seem to be a predictor of failure. You might reach the conclusion that getting into heaven is the result of where you are born. If you’re born well off then your chances for ission to the university and to heaven are good.

It’s not always the case. Being born well off tends to create an elitist attitude. It

may get you into a university but believe Me it will not get you into heaven. Those born into a life of crime and poverty can change. Too many accept their lot and wait for someone to change things. They think that maybe welfare isn’t so bad. After all, drugs produce a high income even if the life is short. I don’t have to work for anything I can take it, or I can wait and someone will give it to me. They spend a lifetime denying any personal responsibility for where they are in life. Those born well and those born poorly have a hard road ahead of them. Heaven is not a sure winner. The message is simple but the behavior is not.

Effectively, You are arguing for capital punishment for all crimes. They are sent to hell. Many would argue and to a degree, history would agree that capital punishment isn’t an effective deterrent.

God doesn’t worry about deterring crime, only about rewarding good behavior. You are relating failure to get into heaven to capital punishment. Heaven doesn’t have capital punishment. It doesn’t have transgressors. What has punishment done for you? You get so concerned with equalizing the punishment to the crime you forget a crime is a crime no matter how little. Crime is not tolerated in heaven. Crime does not exist in heaven. You will not exist in heaven if you can’t exist without crime. The smallest of transgressions against your fellow man is enough to deny your entrance into heaven.

We would find that to be cruel and unjust punishment.

God finds transgression, any transgression cruel and unjust behavior in front of God. The easiest way to do away with crime is to do away with the criminal.

You can’t mean that. God created us in his image. God loves us. God will grant forgiveness for our sins. God is loving and merciful. How can this be untrue?

Why would you think God would let crime into heaven?

I can understand why He wouldn’t, but a lifetime with Satan seems harsh.

Humans have been under the illusion you can be a little bad. Well guess what, a little bad isn’t good and God wants good. Believe in God, love God, and be a good neighbor.

Isn’t there redemption? Isn’t there forgiveness? Isn’t there mercy?

Yes, but not the way humans have viewed it. Many go through the motions. They verbalize their confession. They do penance and proclaim to everyone how they have been saved. All of this is such a waste. It has to be within you. It’s not any action but the sincere belief that you were wrong and want to change.

We tend to forget God sees all and knows all.

God can see into your very soul. When we talk about transgressions and sins, it’s what is in your soul. Humans have verbalized pages and pages on what is a sin. What are the Commandments? How are you to behave? Every religion loudly proclaims the sins that will lead to an eternity in hell. Humans spend so much time on the appearance. Incense and myrrh, flowing silk robes, bejeweled chalices, bowing, scraping, kneeling for hours, heads bowed,

arms upraised—all for God’s benefit. Then there are sacrifices. Thankfully, the unnecessary killing of animals has been replaced with the offering of money. God is not there. He is not at your altars or your holy places. He does not sit on a throne on earth listening to and witnessing your religious fervor. God is in your heart. He resides in your soul until you drive Him out. Feel His love. Feel His presence. Love God and love each other. Is it so difficult?

Redemption and forgiveness is between each person and God. There is no punishment only reward. You win the day and enter heaven or you don’t.

Once you realize God is only interested in those that can love one God and love each other, punishment becomes a nonevent. What you need to understand is that your life on earth is fleeting. Your life in the hereafter is forever. God asks for a short demonstration for a long reward.

The idea that our life is but a fleeting instant in the scheme of things is horrifying. We are fixated with our here and now. We know we are born and eventually we will die. We relate everything to our physical beings. We struggle with our understanding of God and worrying about the hereafter. Punishment or the lack thereof is just the tip of the iceberg. Punishment allows us to keep our bodies. We hang on to punishment because we want to hang on to our bodies. Spirits don’t burn or bleed or hurt.

When you were in the hospital at Fort Ord, you had an out-of-body experience. Many have spoken of this phenomenon. You knew you were separated from your body. From your own experience, I would think you have to accept that the essence of you is more than matter.

I can know I was outside of my body. I can believe I existed for a moment

without my body. When I woke I had memory, but I was again in my body. Everything is associated with my body. Scientists argue I wasn’t separated. The memory is in the cells of my brain. Everything we are or can be is matter confined within this envelope of skin. Our total experience is physical. We don’t know anything else.

Everything we’re talking about concerns the soul. The soul is the driving force of each person. The mass of cells you call a body does not have a conscience. The mass of cells you call a body does not know right from wrong. Humans have struggled with what part of the body makes the person. You cite a man is what is in his heart and then you find you can replace the heart of a person with another heart. You haven’t changed that person. Scientists then decided the only essential organ is the brain. The person resides in the brain. The medical profession has recognized this by defining death as when the brain ceases all function. When the brain ceases to function, the person is no longer. However, when most of the brain is lost or damaged and there is enough to keep the body going, is the person still there? Scientists have mapped out the brain and established which section controls, which function. This mapping breaks down when a person has a stroke and loses half of his brain and yet can recover much of the functions controlled by the lost portion. Humans spend so much energy trying to understand what God has put together. Something makes a person unique. Scientists have yet to find this something. They have not found any cells or neural connection that would determine who or what a person is. You are on this earth as humans trying to figure out where your souls are.

You take away our bodies and how can we relate. This is where humans struggle. The early Christians recovered their bodies on the Day of Resurrection. They could then experience the pleasures of heaven in a bodily manner. The Koran speaks of lying on leather couches beside streams, a physical experience. Humans aren’t quite ready to lose the body they know. Conceptually, everything

changes when we discard the body and find we are still here. Throughout so many centuries, we’ve had this fear of burning to death. We would lose our bodies. Witches were burned at the stake as a measure of finality. It’s only recently, as dead bodies have taken up more and more space that we are considering cremation as an acceptable form of burial. This acceptance is not universal. There is still concern with what do I do without a body on Judgment Day. How will my soul be resurrected with my body? Look at all the cultures throughout history that used time consuming and exotic methods to preserve a body for its travel to the hereafter. We fixate on the physical wonder of heaven. Church prelates are assured they will have mansions while the rest of us do with shacks. The hierarchy created on earth will continue in heaven. There will be the haves and the have-nots. The haves will enjoy spacious mansions and gourmet meals. Those who are aware are worried about keeping their dead bodies safe. Why else does a Cardinal worry about a crypt? Why else are all the Popes enshrined in marble resting places in Saint Peter’s Cathedral? Why else do we have massive funerals with gold caskets? We know the answer. We want to believe our bodies will be with us in heaven. We want to be able to recognize our loved ones and ourselves. We just don’t accept that death means the end of our bodies.

Maybe you should go back to revelation and accept there are things you cannot reason, you must take on faith.

You can’t believe that. We’ve gotten this far. The existence of a soul shouldn’t stop us. You’ve said humanity has received everything they need to get into heaven. This concept of reward only and no punishment is anathema to us. Add to this, the idea we can exist without our bodies and we’re in shock. There is the pain and suffering from sin, there is the redemption and forgiveness for the repentant, and there is a hope. There is a hope for salvation. There is a hope for an eternity in heaven, an eternity in our bodies without pain or sickness.

You say there is no punishment there is only heaven. You say there is no body. There is only the soul. Help me for I do not understand.

You started with the position you could know God in totality through your reasoning, logic, and intuition. So far you have reached the conclusion there is a God, He is omnipotent, He has always been and always will be, and He has a design—all of this creation was for a reason. You reached the conclusion that the reason for all of this is God is lonely. God wants company. As you have pointed out, just creating company isn’t an easy task, even for God. To your credit, you have stumbled onto the key element in all of this—FREE WILL. It is only through free will that the nature of a person can be determined. If the future is decreed or predetermined than a person has no choice. If the future is the result of each person’s choice then the permutations and combinations are endless. You have reached the conclusion God will select those few that have demonstrated they believe in one God, one Holy, one Sacred, and no other, and they have loved their fellow creatures—all the animals, humans too. You have begun to explore what behavior will lead to being accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven. Now you have come to a full stop. Without your body and without punishment you are lost.

That pretty well sums it up.

Let’s take it by steps. Start with where God lives.

What I had said was God is some place where time is stopped. I related Einstein’s theory wherein as speed increases time decreases. If time is a measurement then there is the possibility time can have a nil speed. Conceptually, when speed reaches infinity it could come full circle and reach zero. God would then reside in a place with zero speed. This is easier to contemplate than infinite speed.

Contrast this with a universe in motion. Everywhere there is motion. At the beginning is no motion—at the beginning is God. Conceptually, matter cannot exist at zero motion—zero speed?

Your bodies as you know them cannot exist at zero speed. The smallest unit of matter is the atom. When the atom is broken down to its constituent parts, they are all moving. Stop all motion and you stop life. Matter as you know it ceases to exist.

The image of a heaven without our bodies is a little disconcerting. Everything we know about reward and punishment has to do with physical pleasure and physical pain. Picture a heaven with a bunch of floating souls spending eternity singing praise to God. It’s a constant spiritual scene. Many people don’t think that’s what heaven should be. The Koran gives a real picture, one with physical pleasures, virgins, and figs. I’m not sure what women do with that picture. The picture of hell is more consistent. Most show Satan with a pitchfork and souls burning for eternity. We can relate to the burning of flesh. We picture both heaven and hell as physical. We don’t know how to relate to reward or punishment except as we know it on earth. Everything we can conceive of is matter. We have a hereafter with our physical being living the good life (whatever that is) or burning in agony. Where God resides, matter does not. Somehow, we have to accept God exists on a different plane. It explains why ever since the expulsion from the Garden of Eden, God’s appearance on earth has never been reported. God has spoken to men, but they have only heard His voice or as in my case heard the thoughts. My soul can exist here in this world. It exists in a body and probably can only exist very temporarily outside of the body, a la Fort Ord Hospital. If there is a hereafter that has a heaven, my soul must be able to exist there. It can do that because my soul is not matter. God is not matter. We may be in God’s image, but I think God is different. God must be pure energy. In His presence, all matter would be destroyed. It’s difficult to contemplate an entity so powerful and so persuasive. As we explore who and

what God is, the image expands exponentially.

You are starting to use the brain God gave you.

Where God exists, speed is zero. Zero speed means time stands still. That small ball of compressed matter is dead. The electrons have been mashed into the neutrons and protons to where motion has stopped. The ball of matter always has been and always will be, because it is at zero speed.

Only when the ball is infused with the energy of God do you have time and matter.

When God tossed that ball into the void, He set matter into motion. Electrons could now move about their nuclei and atoms could move about colliding at fantastic speed. As the atoms collide, they form the different molecules of matter. There are swirling masses of gas and a sun forms. Around the sun are planets. One planet gains all the necessary matter for life. We can now live on this earth. God has remained at zero speed and timeless. He looks out at the developing universe and begins to manipulate the clashes. The matter can exist with movement and time. To return to God, the matter must die—as so must we.

You are equating a place with zero motion, a place where God resides as a place anathema to you. You think of it as a place where you, as you know yourself, cannot exist. You forget the words in the Bible, In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, Genesis 1:1. Then there’s Genesis 1: 27-28, God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying: “Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” Now read Genesis 3:8, When they heard the sound of

the Lord God moving about in the garden at the breezy time of the day, God, Adam, and Eve were together in the Garden of Eden. Now reconcile everything you know with the fact that the Bible has two stories of creation.

God created a man and a woman—Adam and Eve. He created the Garden of Eden. Was this Garden on the earth He created with the heavens or was it a Garden on the earth we know and live on? In the Book of Genesis, there are two stories of creation. What if there were in fact two creations? Maybe that’s why no one has ever found the Garden of Eden. It’s not on this earth. It’s in heaven, or it is heaven. Adam and Eve could be with God because they were spiritual and not matter. They were thrown out of heaven when they sinned against God. That’s when God threw out that ball. That’s the reason He threw out the ball. Humans could suffer on earth and only regain heaven when they had demonstrated they could, with free will obey God.

Do you think anyone will believe that story?

It’s a story I have trouble believing.

Then why?

It makes everything fit. I don’t think I can understand this spiritual versus material. My entire experience is with me as a person here on earth. The first story of creation describes a place I can relate to. It was a beautiful garden where man and animals could live in harmony. By ing the test, we do no more than return to the Garden of Eden. It would be a place we could relate to.

There are two different worlds where we can exist. There is a world at zero speed. Matter as we know it would not exist in this world. Our spirits reside in this world. Then there is the world with speed and matter. We physically live in this one. Travel between the two worlds is impossible because matter cannot exist at zero speed and spirits cannot exist as matter.

You have God, angels, and souls who have ed the test in the zero speed world. You are convinced angels and God can interact with your material world. How?

I don’t think they exist in my world. This is where it gets complicated. Angels have appeared in our world and have spoken, but they have not existed here. They cannot be touched nor can they touch, they are not matter. They are a projection from the spiritual world. Man cannot exist in the spiritual world because he is matter.

You have two worlds. Spirits, angels, and souls exist in this spiritual world. You then have the material world where matter can exist. Neither can exist in the other’s world. Man, as a human, cannot live with God and God cannot live with man.

I have to be careful; God is not limited in His powers. I don’t think He exists in the material world, as He would destroy all matter. Think of it as if God always exists as God wherever He is, but He does not make an appearance in our world.

How about angels, they have appeared in your world?

They appear but they don’t exist here. It’s like a projection or hologram. It doesn’t happen often. God seems always to be here, but it’s different. I don’t see Him, I just know He’s around and I can talk with Him.

God projects Himself into your world but not visibly or as matter. He’s not a hologram; He is actually there. That’s how you can have this conversation. There are two different worlds, one timeless and the other with time and a life span. The material world will one day cease to exist. God will not.

What about man’s soul? It exists in my material world.

Only while it is in a body. When the body dies, it returns to the spiritual world to live with God, to have a second chance, or to reside deep in the void.

You have God, who tosses the ball into the void. While that energy lasts and motion continues, matter exists. Man is placed on the earth with a soul. Upon death, man ceases to exist and the soul returns to God. As man has a life span, so does the material world. The soul is part of God’s world and will only be with God in the Garden of Eden if he can the test.

Your brain cells are overworked. Tomorrow is another day.

Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray dear God my soul to keep, and if I die before I wake, I pray dear God my soul to take. Good night God.

Chapter 11

GOD!

You’re awake early.

Not really, our conversations are a struggle. My mind is being pushed to its limit. I sometimes feel this is all above me, that I’m not capable.

What is the old saying? God never gives you more than you can handle.

It’s hard to believe that. I have seen and heard of so much suffering, well beyond what anyone is capable of handling.

Yet, they survive. Look at how many times you have seen people with trials and tribulation so much more than what you have experienced and they do well.

I an early morning taxi ride in Trinidad. I had the first flight out. I started my day by stepping into a freezing cold shower. The hot water wasn’t working and I think what water I had was from a refrigerator somewhere. I got in the cab and as usual, a conversation started up. I made some sort of complaint as to my cold shower and he told me how his day started. He started his day at two am. I forget how far he had to walk, but he took four trips to the community well in order to amass enough water for the day. He took

a cold sponge bath and then started the kitchen fires before waking his wife. The story unfolded without a grumble. He was the happiest man alive. He had a good wife, four wonderful children, and a good job. He owned his taxi and by working dawn to dusk, he brought in enough to care for his family.

You were impressed. You had started mad at the world because the running water in your comfortable hotel room was not warm. Here was a man with much less and happy with his lot in the world. Doesn’t traveling around the world teach you anything?

I found people in the midst of discord going on with their lives. I had traveled to Sri Lanka during periods of unrest. I was often impressed when I went out in the morning and saw school kids lined up at a bus stop dressed in the whitest of shirts and blouses. Most of the homes in the area had dirt floors and some lacked doors and windows, yet their mothers would see to it that their children were dressed for school. One road I frequently traveled followed along a river. At the river’s edge, you would see women washing those white shirts and blouses, soapsuds flowing along the current.

You were impressed again. People with just the barest of essentials would see to it that their children were properly sent off to school. Repeatedly, you would witness that God does not give more than someone can handle. Some people give up. They curl up in a corner and just die. It’s rare but it does happen. However, most people face adversity every day of their life and still pick up and keep going.

What is that Beatitude? The meek shall inherit the world. The poor and the ones without will win their spot in heaven.

They have learned contentment without money.

Some would say they lack drive. They will never be anything in this world. If the meek inherited the world, they wouldn’t know what to do with it. What about being all you can be? Use what the good Lord gave you. Make the most out of your life.

The meek would live and enjoy God’s creations. What’s so wrong with that?

Heaven would be filled with Mother Teresas.

What makes you think Mother Teresa was so meek? She started a nun’s order. She put together a system to help the needy. She won a Nobel Prize. She was a strong woman who set out to serve those less fortunate. She did that with skill and drive. Don’t think keeping pace with Mother Teresa was so easy.

Without the meek, you don’t have a tsar, a Hitler, an Ayatollah, a Pope, a politician, or a gangbanger. The rulers of the world could not rule, were it not for the meek.

It’s not the meek that creates oppression. You think that without the meek the rulers would not exist. People should stand up and dislodge the rulers. You think the good and the right should stand on their own and not be ruled and oppressed. Believe Me that will not earn heaven. It will earn turmoil and strife throughout the world. God does not need you to beat down the little gods that evil.

Not me, You can save the world. Maybe You really meant for the meek to inherit the planet because we know where the false gods will go.

You still don’t get it. You can be a leader and still be meek. You can stand up for what is right and still be meek. Meek is not walking over everybody. Meek is not thinking you are better than everybody else is.

Can the meek ever win anything? Can the meek be successful?

You’re in high school, trying out for the track team, and you sprint the 100-yard dash. You watch as a fellow student, competing against you, runs with poor form. You help him and give him tips on how to improve. The two of you work out together. Come the day of the big race. You run at your best and your student beats you. You sincerely congratulate him. That’s why the meek will inherit the earth.

What happens with the same lead in and you win the big race?

You did your best. You helped your competitor do his best. You won the race. You’re winning the test for heaven.

It isn’t failure that causes you to lose your spot in the Kingdom of God. It’s how you got there. You should be all that you can be. You should help others along the way and you should share your success with those less fortunate than you are.

Simple isn’t it. You don’t gain riches and success on somebody’s failure. You get there on your own initiative and performance. Along the way, you reach out to those who compete against you and help them. If that means your competitor wins the race, so be it. You are happy with the results no matter which way it goes. If you win, you reach out your hand and help your opponent up.

Meek is one of those words where translators have not done their best. We have a word that can be translated into spineless, submissive, or spiritless. We also have the meek that means not inclined to anger. If we do a search in a thesaurus, we can get humble, reserved, unpretentious, without airs, or down to earth. How many more words can we think up as a definition of a word that could be interpreted as meek? God’s words were written by man and then translated by man repeatedly. The original scribe would try to be consistent with the general theme he or she thought was existent in the Bible. Sitting at the desk with the tools of the trade, he or she might think submissive was appropriate. A carpenter, proud of the products his skills could provide, might think of down to earth as appropriate.

Meek is a person born into the world with whatever capabilities or station and not concerned with what could have or should have been.

I can seek fame and fortune. I can use all God has given me and do my very best to improve my station, as long as I reach out a helping hand to the people around me and as long as I don’t get so impressed with my accomplishments but realize they belong to God.

That is as long as you share with your fellow man.

All of this I can derive from love God and love each other.

I told you the message was simple. What has happened over time is that the word written and interpreted by man becomes more important than the Word of God.

We don’t really know what the Word of God is. We have many writings that are usually a copy of the original or of an oral tradition. The Bible, the Koran, and the Torah were all written centuries ago and mostly in a vernacular language. Spaces, punctuation, and accents are missing in the copies we’ve found. A scribe takes over the task of writing that first copy. It’s not a job of translating words but a job of translating ideas. Look in the preface of a current Bible and you will read about the source and method of translation. The Word of God has become the word of man. Before copiers, we would mark a copy as a “true copy’. We would also date any material. That was not the case during the early centuries. We have no real way to determine if a piece of parchment is the original or a copy. We especially have no dates to go by. Everything is at best a guess. We’ve come full circle with printers that print originals or copies without distinction.

Whether you are reading a copy or an original, God’s message is there even if God’s words are not. This is in spite of all the evidence that makes you question the validity of man’s words. What makes you believe?

Regardless of the problems with language and dating, I think if we stick with generalities, we can get the message. One thing stated repeatedly, in so many ways and languages, is there is one God and only one God. This God is a demanding and jealous God. Love Him with all your heart and soul and have no other before you. The strongest words I have ever read are in the Koran. Allah is Holy, Allah is all-powerful, and Allah is everything. Praise Allah in all you do.

How can we get that message wrong? How can we praise men, places, or things when God has been so specific? How can we praise a piece of stone, a wall, a building, a chalice, a statue, a book, a bag or box of bones, or a piece of cloth when we’ve been told to praise God and only God? There is but one Allah.

You sound angry. The message is not one of anger but one of love. Coupled with and a part of these words is the requirement to love God, to love Allah, and to forsake all others. It’s not just to believe but it’s a total submission to the love of God.

God’s message had two parts. The second part of the message is one you can also find worldwide. If there is a common denominator between religions, it is God and the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would do unto yourself. Love one another. From this, it is easy to see the meek shall inherit the earth. So many things can flow from these two simple rules. Despite almost every religion having at their base, love God and love each other, why is there so much religious strife?

You must realize a religion is a business. How many businesses do you know that have as their marketing slogan—our product is the same as every other product, we just paint it a different color. Instead, religions rail at each other. They threaten annihilation. of other religions are called evil. Converts are welcome, but others will be put to death. How many call their God a God of war. Mere humans who claim they are doing God’s work fight wars. They are wiping out evil on God’s behalf. This is in spite of the fact that almost all religions have the same all-powerful God.

An all-powerful God that can destroy evil at will. Nowhere in any of the Books does God ask for help. How did we get to where we are?

The story starts with three Prophets, each one different. Jesus stands out as he was crucified. If, as many believe, he was crucified for our sins, then as many Protestant Sects teach, belief in Jesus is all that’s required. The three Synoptic Gospels would differ from this with the Two Greatest Commandments requiring more than belief, requiring action. Comparing Christian leaders with Jesus highlights the difference. Jesus was poor, traveled the roads on foot, and wore the shabbiest of clothing. He relied on the generosity of others in order to continue his ministry. Compare that to the Pope and many ministers.

Out of the preaching of Jesus, we developed religions. Men take over and claim the right to dictate behavior. Paul preaches to the new converts from “revelation”. He tells the new Christians how to worship, how to live, and how to behave. By the fourth century AD, they have accumulated a large amount of wealth. The new Christian leaders sit with emperors and rulers and define the foundations of a religion. They want a Christian world. A few centuries later, the Muslims fight to establish their realm on earth. They split into Shi’ites and Sunnis and fight at every turn, all at the behest of their leaders who claim to hear God. Today the Jews and Arabs fight to kill one another as their leaders proclaim Divine Revelation. Yet, at the start Isaac and Ismael, a Jew and an Arab, ed in peace to bury their father, Abraham. Followers are poor, illiterate, manipulated, and killed while their leaders win power, wealth, and position. Each leader tries to put his or her stamp of approval for entry into heaven. Nothing escapes the purview of enlightened leadership. They all cite revelation and divine intervention as their authority.

You’re still mad at religions. You have to have more understanding. Religion is a business but that doesn’t mean there isn’t some good. Many churches of different faiths are serving their community. You can’t ignore the good they do. Religions have their faults and money is the root of most of them but there also is good.

You have to be careful and not paint with too wide a brush. Many good men and women have done as you are doing here—having a conversation with God, or should I say listening to the voice in your head. You have commented that it is difficult to know when the thoughts and words are God’s or when you are just spreading your own views and attitudes. It isn’t an easy task, and it should not be taken lightly. There are those who take the task seriously and do their best to preach the Word of God.

Maybe that’s our problem. We are always trying to preach the Word of God when we’re not sure what that Word is. Throughout history, there have been men and women who have heard the voice of God or received a message from God. Throughout the Old Testament, man has recorded God’s words. Always someone relates that they have heard the voice of the Lord. The Koran is the Word of God revealed to the Prophet Muhammad by the Angel Gabriel. The Gospels of the New Testament tell of the life and ministry of Jesus. It goes on to tell of the beginnings of Christianity. One thing is painfully clear; there is no record of God’s voice. There is no record of God’s writing. No angel has put pen to paper. You’re left with scraps of writings with words in a spoken tongue and written without footnotes, in a style that lacks clarity. All of this is written and interpreted by man.

Throughout all of the writings, there is the voice of God. God has been involved and His message is there for the taking. There is little difference in the message contained in the Books. If anything, Jesus is the common thread. The Muslims praise Jesus as a Prophet and the Christians praise Jesus as God. Although Judaism turned away from Jesus, the same thought was there. The Torah, the Bible, and the Koran have the same God and the same message—love God, love each other. Commonality exists between the Books.

Commonality isn’t the word people think of. There was a lot of disharmony over the first few centuries. The idea of a single minded Catholic Church being formed in the first century is full of holes. Catholicism was just the winning version. They were able to fight off any opposition. Martin Luther was probably

the first real split from Catholicism on religious grounds and that wasn’t until the 16th century. There have been many splits for financial reasons. King Henry VIII is probably the most famous. He just wasn’t ready to pay the price for another divorce and then there was all that church property. The Jews have split into various sects. Israel has problems as younger people begin to claim a majority. The pressure mounts against the fundamentalists who have held onto political power with an iron fist. The new adults are tired of fighting and want peace. The Muslims split over who has claim to the theocracy. Both sects read the same Koran, yet both sides have hate and continue to kill each other without limit. All three religious beliefs worship one God Almighty, and Creator of Heaven and Earth. All three believe in love and peace. Why have all three turned to hate, killing, and war to claim their religious superiority?

They use three different names but they all pray to the same God. The Christians have added Jesus Christ as the name of their God. Although they cite the Trinity as an element of faith, they deal primarily with Jesus. Everything is in Jesus’ name. You could almost forgive them as they practice worshiping one God.

I am not the one to forgive. The early Christian belief, still followed today, is to believe in God and you will be saved. Again, the very Bible referred to as the Word of God cites much the same as the Koran. In Deuteronomy 6: 4-5,

Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone! Therefore you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and all your soul, and with all your strength.

And in Deuteronomy 6: 18-19,

Do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that you may, according to his word, prosper, and may enter in and possess the good land which the Lord promised on oath to your fathers, thrusting all your enemies out of your way.

The three main religions all believe in the same God and all believe you should love God and do good deeds to get to heaven. Yet, all three have been in warfare with each other since the days of Jesus and Muhammad. It’s not the message from God; it’s the message from the clerics. The dispute between religions has to do with how clerics interpret their role. Let’s face it the two Greatest Commandments do not require a religion. They do not require clerics. You don’t have to dress a certain way, cut your hair, shave or don’t shave, speak in tongues, or bow to Mecca. You have to believe in God and believe in all humanity as your brethren. Man has spoiled the message.

Yet, You do nothing. Why haven’t you come to our rescue?

What makes you think I would want to?

You created us for a reason. I don’t think we’re just a game. Put a bunch of people on a planet and see how long it takes them to blow themselves up. I just don’t think that’s what You are all about.

It wasn’t a game. I had a purpose. I told you, heaven is a big place. It will go on forever, not like the earth. The earth will end someday. I wanted some company.

You wanted company and created man and all the animals. Unless heaven’s full then it seems we have to keep going.

Heaven’s not full. There’s room for a lot more. There haven’t been too many who have make the grade.

Maybe it’s too hard. God is perfect. I don’t think man can be.

God is not looking for perfection. He’s looking for company. Souls are created to roam heaven and to share its beauty and bounty. Think of a world without police, without armies, without laws, or government. It has to be a lot different from your world. the brown out in New York City. the rape and rampage that took place. When the constraints of society were lifted, the people in New York went wild, or at least a good portion of them. Heaven has no constraints except the conscience and goodwill of its inhabitants. I will not allow a soul into heaven that cannot love God and love everyone else including himself or herself without fear of punishment nor offer of reward.

So how do You know when a person is one who can live that way and not disrupt the equilibrium?

You know it when you see it.

There has to be more instruction than that. No wonder the world had gone astray.

All you have to do is the two Greatest Commandments. Look at what

you’ve learned from the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the Koran. You said one thing rang out. There is one true God and His Will be done. All God asks is for you to love God and love each other. Is it so hard?

Apparently it is. We don’t seem to get the message. We are only human.

Jesus was born man and he got the message and understood his task.

What was Jesus like?

You’ve read about him. What do you think?

I think Jesus was probably a lot different than people think. I think people see Jesus as the latest image in films or as the statue in the church. I doubt seriously that those images fit.

Close your eyes. Lean back. Relax and let your mind go free. Now picture Jesus.

I’m on a dirt road. It’s in the afternoon. The heat is stifling. I can smell water, it just adds to the humidity. I’m wearing sandals but I can feel the heat of the dirt. It’s not really dirt; it’s more like rough sand. Off to my right a small dust cloud approaches. In the distance to my left, I can see a petite woman slowly walking. She wears a soft blue robe. Her head is covered. The small group is coming from my right. I move closer to them. There are thirteen, not a good number if I was suspicious. They have stopped and gathered around one man. He’s taller than the rest. Standing in the surrounding circle is a

big man with a round face and receding hairline. Beard and hair are coarse and spotted with gray. His huge hands are curled from years of hard work. This is the fisherman called Peter. The one in their midst, obviously Jesus, is talking. His voice doesn’t seem loud yet I can hear every word. It has a quality that’s hard to describe. It draws your attention. It’s almost mesmerizing. He wears a spotted and stained homespun robe. It had been longer but the bottom is frayed and worn. He has a brown blanket folded over his shoulder. I go closer. His feet are in worn-out sandals. His toenails are long and cracked. The feet and ankles smothered in dirt. His hands are dirty with broken nails and slightly curled fingers. His face is dried and weathered. The beard is unkempt and spotted with gray. The hair, although long and uncombed, seems to flow over his head and down to his shoulders. An aura about him erases the unwashed and disheveled look and casts a white sheen around him.

Can you hear what is being said?

Jesus: Mary and my Mother have gone ahead. Mary said she knew the owner of an inn just over the next hill. She was sure she could find us lodging. It’s been a long walk and I know we are all tired.

Peter: The walking is tiresome enough, but the crowds have been unbearable. They seem to be everywhere.

Jesus: It comes with the territory.

Mary arrives on the scene. She reaches up to kiss Jesus on his cheek. The smile on his face is warm and embracing.

Mary: We can stay at the inn. Your Mother is there, she stayed to rest. It isn’t much farther.

Peter: Can we afford it?

Mary: He doesn’t want our money. He wants our labor. I told him we have a variety of skills.

Peter: (Turns towards Jesus) It’s a good thing you’re a carpenter.

Mary: Not just Jesus, he has work for all. He has a small boat with nets and he needs a good catch for drying. There’s rock to be moved and a table and benches to be made.

Jesus: Does he have all the materials we’ll need?

Mary: He told me he has everything we’ll need. We should be able to stay a few days. It will let us catch our breath, clean up, and take care of some of those foot sores.

The twelve speed up leaving Mary and Jesus alone.

Mary: You look tired. You have to rest.

Jesus: I’m fine. I’ll get plenty of rest soon.

Mary: Why does this have to be? I have a home. You could open up a school and preach.

Jesus: I’m not sure how one knows he or she has been chosen. I think they are just driven to accomplish a task that’s been set out for them to do. I don’t feel special and certainly not holy. I feel this burden has to be carried. Whether I’m the Messiah or not isn’t important. I have a message I know is from God. He has set all of this in motion and does want the scriptures to be fulfilled.

They all disappear over the hill.

Open your eyes. Say a small prayer. The vision is over.

What was that all about? I don’t get visions.

You wanted to experience Jesus. You put together all you knew and used that intuition of yours. You agree with the Muslims and many Christian sects that believe Jesus was not God. He was a man—a very special man. He served God; he served his Father. Being a man doesn’t lessen the message he carried.

The message in all three Books is there is one God, only one God. There is one Holy One, only one Holy One. When Jesus taught us to pray it was to the Father only. He did not teach us to pray to a Trinity—Matthew 6:9-13,

This is how you are to pray: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us the wrong we have done as we forgive those who wrong us. Subject us not to the trial but deliver us from the evil one.”

There is a slightly different version in Luke 11:1-4. Different versions are repeated in Christian worship, one for the Catholics and one for the Protestants.

Seems like a good prayer to Me.

I would think so. It has Your marks all over it. Therefore, I believe in You, I believe in creation, and I believe Your will be done. More importantly, I think You are interested and concerned with the people on earth. You are a personal God.

What gives you the idea that I care about what happens to you or any of the people on earth?

You created us for a reason and although we haven’t quite lived up to your expectations, a lot of us are trying.

I don’t see many trying. The world has turned to evil not God. Maybe the test just won’t work. When you give humans free will and then let them be, they turn on each other. Why do humans find it so hard to think of each other instead of themselves? Almost every religion has two basic tenets—you are to love God and love one another. Why don’t you get it?

I assume “you” means all humans and not just me.

Don’t play games. I asked you a question.

I don’t know enough about all religions. I know a little about the Catholic Church, some of its spinoffs, and Islam. I am not an ordained minister in anything.

All right, what do you know?

I know everyone takes a slightly different swipe at meeting Your test. Each religion loudly proclaims it has the inside track on getting to heaven. How else can a Crusader who takes up arms against infidels on behalf of Christ, and a suicide bomber who gives his or her life against infidels on behalf of Allah,

think they both get a free to heaven?

The Crusades were brutal. Innocents were slaughtered. There was a lot of pillage and rape. The Pope in his infinite wisdom granted indulgence for all sins to those willing to fight for the Church. To many, that meant the Crusader would instantly go to heaven if he were killed in action. The Crusades started at the end of the 11th century and continued into the 15th or 16th century AD. The Popes called the Crusades the Just War.

Now we have Muslims willing to commit suicide. They are willing to kill innocents and fellow Muslims because of a promise of heaven. The cultural memory of the brutality of the Crusades has no doubt fueled the ion of the Muslim fighter of today. Violence towards Muslims in the Middle Ages has not been forgotten. The warfare against the Jews under Muhammad continues.

This violent warfare is from religions dedicated to peace. The early Christian learning to turn the other cheek—the meek shall inherit the earth, and the Muslim who is instructed by Allah to utter the word Peace upon meeting.

Your message is lost on us. You said the Books considered holy by three different religions are the Word of God written by man. Jesus did not write a Gospel. I doubt seriously that Mark ever thought a priest would hold the writing up in front of the congregation and say, “this is the Word of the Lord.’ Maybe that’s the problem. We’re stuck with the word. In the first century, you had to say the words of the Apostles’ Creed and you were saved. We say the words in Confession and promise to do well and we are forgiven.

You concentrate excessively on the Books. Even you have to concede that God’s message is still there. All of the translations and all of the revisions have left the

basic message for humans to read. The two Greatest Commandments are everywhere. The Books aren’t the problem. Within ten years after the Crucifixion, Paul set the norm for the problems that followed. You have cited his ission. He didn’t walk with Jesus, he didn’t talk with Jesus, and he didn’t study with the Apostles. His credentials for telling the new Christians how to act and behave came by revelation from Jesus Christ. Paul completely ignores Jesus’ instructions. It has been cited before. In Mark 16: 15-16, Jesus says,

Go into the whole world and proclaim the good news to all creation. The man who believes in it and accepts baptism will be saved; the man who refuses to believe in it will be condemned.

The Apostles went forth with the Creed and did just that. Believe in the Creed, accept Baptism, and new converts would be saved. Paul knew better. He had Divine Revelation. How many have followed with that same qualification—they had Divine Revelation. Jesus did not try to establish a Theocracy. The Apostles did not try to form a Theocracy. Their successors did. Muhammad did not try to form a Theocracy. His successors did. Why else are the Shi’ites and the Sunnis at war. Each successor has claimed Divine Revelation. Each successor has claimed special or holy status on earth. Each has played at being a god.

What I find amazing is how blindly we follow them. I don’t doubt each suicide on behalf of Allah is because of a firm belief in their religious leader. If we would just recognize God can see into our hearts and souls, and knows what we are. Maybe then, we would get serious about this. Humanity relies on a man who says he is holy. Humans have to wake up and realize their relationship is with God, and God is all knowing.

God is all knowing and what He knows isn’t pretty. Wake up humans! You cannot lie to Me. From what I see, I am disappointed in the human race. All of my creation is for naught.

There’s that implied threat that You are about to end the exercise.

No, I am just sad. I love my creations and thought many souls would find their way to heaven. It just hasn’t worked out that way.

I think there has been some who try. I think evil has gotten the upper hand. Turning your back on greed and success is not easy.

Good night James, sleep well.

Thank you, God.

Chapter 12

GOD!

You’re awake early. I thought we had pretty well covered everything.

You said God’s words were written by man. The process is obviously open to distortion.

It isn’t distorted; it gets modified or refined to reflect cultural attitudes. Then there are the add-ons. The rules, regulations, and holy laws are expounded by those claiming Divine Revelation. As men were in charge, the bias reflects a male dominance.

Men were in charge but You didn’t help by only talking to men throughout the ages. Why have women been so denigrated?

You want to jump right in don’t you?

I think women have a right to understand Your position. Women would appear to be second-class citizens in your eyes. Adultery is a very big sin, however, according to the Bible, the essential element is a married woman, divorced or not. Nowhere is adultery defined as involving a married man, unless it’s with a married woman. Without a married woman—no adultery. The man is free to have sex with his slaves, handmaidens, or whomever.

Then there is the question of second-class citizenship. Women are cautioned to be subservient to man. A woman is to serve her husband. She is there for him. There is no equality between the sexes in the eyes of God.

Wait a minute. How was I blamed here?

Your words!

Those words are written by men, translated by men, and interpreted by men. Make use of that logic and reason you’ve been using. Who is the stronger, and I don’t mean upper body strength? Which one bears children? Believe me, if men gave birth to children, the world population would be significantly less.

Are You saying they aren’t equal?

No, what makes you think men and women are equal? A woman has much more staying power. She has better focus and more patience.

Wait a minute. That’s a little hard to believe. My male ego may be slipping in my old age but I think I can go step for step with a woman. In fact, I think I can best a woman. She may be stronger genetically and generally smarter but I don’t think she can stand up and face a good fight.

You’re right. A woman will avoid a fight. She has tack and diplomacy.

That’s not something she’s born with. It’s a learned thing.

Maybe not, confrontation is not a good way to deal with a baby. Maternal instincts may have an impact on behavior.

With few exceptions, man has ruled the world. Women have been confined to the home. They are to be protected. They need a man to lead them and keep them from harm.

Who takes care of the man when he’s ill? Who looks after the children, the home, and the business when the man becomes incapacitated? Who is there through thick and thin, steadfast and true?

Okay, Your point is made. Then why the second class treatment in the Books? Why is the subservient role preached as the proper role for women?

For instance?

The Muslim practice of denigrating women to second-class citizenship is maybe not stipulated in the Koran but it is implied in so many ways. I’m not sure where the Koran specifically moves women to second class but it is there. The Koran stipulates a woman should cover her adornments. If you read further, you find the caution that women should walk softly so their adornments do not make noise. At first you assume this is the basis for an aba and veil covering everything but the eyes. However, adornments don’t seem to have anything to do with the body but with the jewelry worn on the body.

a married woman can be easily divorced and sent on her way. She leaves with only what she wears.

She wears her estate on her body—rings, bracelets, and necklaces. I’ve been at the gold market in Bahrain and watched them swarm a jewelry stand buying gold in all forms. The women are fully covered head to foot with a black aba. Some have only their eyes showing. However, when they put that new bracelet on their arm, they show an arm bedecked with gold from the tip of the shoulder to the wrist. When or if divorce comes, they will have enough to survive. The counsel in the Koran is not to show your wealth and to keep it hidden. Instead, much of the Arab world seems concerned with women showing any part of their body. The strictest code is to cover women head to toe with only a screened eye slit. We see newsreels showing a man with a bamboo pole beating women who aren’t covered head to toe, all in the name of Allah. The dress code doesn’t seem to be a message from Allah but from man.

God is not responsible for the stupidity of men. It seems reasonable to warn women to cover their jewelry. The rest comes from men who are afraid of women. Making them hide behind veils and partitions keeps them in their place. Not letting them attend school, drive a car, or gain a skill is all part of not letting them have any chance of demonstrating their inherent capability. Man is convinced that women will rule if they give them half a chance. As far as covering from head to toe, dress regulations aren’t part of my message. Paul wanted women to wear a veil when praying. He was also concerned with the length of hair—women long, men short. I’m not sure why Paul would care, but he had many other instructions which I am sure were not part of any revelation. Each prophet, each Pope, each Ayatollah, and everyone having a “revelation” seem to take it on themselves to tell the world how to live. You can’t demonstrate your Divine Revelation if you don’t tell people what to do.

Isn’t a part of Your message telling people how to live?

Not really, humans have free will. The test is to see what they do with it. The mess the world is in is not by my choosing. Humans got there all on their own. Women were not created to be subservient. The Lord God said: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.” Genesis 2:18. The emphasis should be on partner. Men and women are partners in life, equals under the law, as you would say. I say equal in the eyes of God. Is it too hard to understand?

When expelling Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, Then the Lord God said . . . To the woman he said: . . . “Yet your urge shall be for your husband, and he shall be your master.” Genesis 3:14-16. I have heard Christian ministers emphasizing that a woman is to serve her husband. There seems to be a furor anytime a female is elevated to the role of a bishop or is allowed to preach. The Catholic Church will not ordain women even in the face of Paul’s comment in Romans 16:1, I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deaconess of the church of Cenchreae. Apparently, women did have a role in the early Church. Mary, the Mother of Jesus, is frequently cited as present during Jesus’ ministry. Mary Magdalene is also often cited as present. She is the first one to receive the news that Jesus had risen. Mary Magdalene is the one who until recently was called a whore. What is difficult with the names in the Bible is there were no last names. In those days, a last name would be the city or town where you lived. Jesus was Jesus of Nazareth and Mary Magdalene came from Magdala. Jesus Christ is Jesus the anointed, or Jesus the Messiah. I should comment that each time I try to research something I find a myriad of opinions. Some point to the Church’s effort to destroy all opposing ideas as the reason so little is available. In the late third or early fourth century AD, the Church had become powerful, powerful enough to squelch any opposing views. The practice was to declare the opposition as heretical. All writings would be destroyed and proponents of different views could in fact be killed.

Added to this confusion was the practice of winning armies to raze and destroy everything in sight. It was especially important to destroy writings and records. It was as if the winning side wanted to wipe the memory of the losers from any consciousness. This leads to little evidence and many opinions.

With all this, you blame me for the words that have survived. My words were written by men. These words were translated and copied by men. Your world can now tell that women have a full set of chromosomes. Doesn’t it seem more probable a woman was created first and then God chopped off one-half of a chromosome to make a man? Look at Genesis 2: 21-22 and replace the word man for the word woman and vice a versa. As DNA and chromosomes weren’t part of the language at that time, change rib to chromosome. God took one-half of a chromosome away from a woman and created a man.

Wow! I know translations are limited by the vocabulary at the time of the event and again at the time of translation. A man writing an oral tradition for the first time uses the word rib. The actual word wasn’t known. Maybe, it was easier to translate the word to man and not to woman. Let’s face it, in a male dominated world a scribe is not going to translate something that shows man inferior to woman. Is that what happened? Did man come from woman?

You don’t need an answer. Isn’t it enough that you can imagine man came from woman? Why would a scribe use the word woman when he was convinced the only word that fit was man? Translations are imperfect at best. A translator would fill in with words of his time when there was any doubt as to the actual word. Frequently the translator had a choice of female versus male. The choice would be his.

The concept of filling in language from the vocabulary of the translator is not new to this discussion. Read a preface from a new Bible. You will read about

current words being used to clarify an ancient word. Everything is based on the translator’s interpretation. Today we are multiple translations away from the first words. We have the Word of God but maybe scribes made slight changes that facilitated the idea that man should rule the world. Was man created second?

It would seem more probable to believe God struck off part of a chromosome then to believe God took away a rib.

It reminds me of an experiment I read, offered up as an example of personal prejudices and opinions interfering with the transmission of information. I’ll it to an imperfect memory but the essential elements demonstrate the effect. An audience watches the process unfold. A person is shown a picture of the interior of a subway train. There are three people highlighted. One is a man holding on to a strap, a woman sitting and a man standing and looking at the two with a newspaper folded in his hand. The first person is allowed to study the picture. Then the experiment begins. The first person must describe the picture from an almost immediate memory. Each person then describes what he or she heard to the next. The process repeats itself. The picture will gradually change, depending on what part of the country you’re in. In New York, the folded newspaper becomes a gun, the strap is forgotten, the man instead has his hands up, and the woman is screaming. There are many variations but one thing is true. The picture is never translated correctly. When a new version of the Bible is prepared, each researcher will attempt to go back to the “original” and try to eliminate the bias of different scribes or reporters. The researcher can then interject his or her own bias. Over the ages, the writers have been men. One could get the impression that women are relegated to second class so men can continue to be the only source of data.

Let’s get past the biased and slanted reports and look at the real issue. We can use our brain to determine the equality of the genders. One key element must be considered.

What’s that?

Free will! No one is empowered to restrict, restrain, or in any way affect a person’s free will. What God has given no man shall take away. Men and women have free will. What in your logic and intuition would lead you to believe I would create rules or laws that would take free will away.

Society does make laws restricting free will.

No one has the right to restrict the exercise of free will by men or women. This does not mean that society can’t make laws to punish those who, in their exercise of their free will, injure or cause harm to another. Laws must not be gender specific. An action cannot be declared illegal for only one of the sexes. Women cannot be barred from obtaining a driver’s license unless men are also barred.

For free will to be free then laws can only address actions that can injure or cause harm to another. Does that include animals?

All are God’s creatures.

Men and women have equality. Neither is to be subservient to the other. Each has the right to be all that they can be.

An ad line for ing the Army, but very appropriate. Do you get the message?

Do women need to cover themselves from head to toe? Adam and Eve were created naked and seemed comfortable that way until they had eaten the forbidden fruit. That appeared to be the start of covering one’s nakedness. Genesis 3:21, For the man and his wife (Eve), the Lord God made leather garments, with which he clothed them. What is the rule and how does one go about getting the right advice?

We’ve already discussed the two Greatest Commandants. Everything can be derived from them. , you can’t just say it. You can’t just think it. It has to be real. It has to be deep down heart and soul real.

How do I come up with a dress code for women from the Golden Rule?

Think! Go through the changes over the past hundred years. What cultural mores have driven what is proper and what is not?

Men have ruled that women should be covered because of their impact on men. A woman who showed her legs was just inviting sexual advances from men. Early rape cases went into detail as to what the victim was wearing. After all, dressed as she was, what else could she expect? The covering of women has nothing to do with women. It has to do with the lack of restraint of men. Women who exposed any part of their body were only inviting men to have sex.

I am not so sure that’s true. I think there are too many dirty old men running things that want to think that is true. They ascribe their own weaknesses unto the general population.

So can women run around naked?

That depends upon the where and when. If the setting is such that the woman’s nakedness does no harm to those who can see her than by all means go naked.

Harm, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. A woman standing naked provocatively in front of her husband in the privacy of their home does no harm.

A woman or a man knows how to dress. It depends on the surroundings. As a woman’s skirt gets shorter, there’s more attention to her skirt and less attention to the woman. Maybe girls bare their parts because they don’t like themselves as a person. Maybe it is better to let a man see her buttocks then let him see her flaws. Each person knows when he or she is stepping over some boundary. The problem I see is few recognize that how they dress sends a message.

We’ve been taught you can’t judge a book by its cover. Is that not true?

I think it’s been used to justify outrageous dress habits. Each dress code is a role. If you dress like a criminal then people will assign that role to you. A woman returning home late at night sees two men approaching. The men have baggie pants, oversized shirts, and lots of gold jewelry hanging from their necks. What’s her reaction?

Were they black or white?

Do you really think it matters? The dress code is not friendly. The real problem is that a person’s dress code frequently dictates their behavior. Young teenagers dress as a gangbanger and begin to act that way. Parents who ignore their children’s dress code ignore their responsibility to make their children into responsible adults. The old adage to dress for success is excellent advice. When a man or a woman dresses with some taste, it says something about that person. You can’t judge a book by its cover but you can tell a lot about a person by how they dress. The thing most don’t understand is that you tend to be what you dress. What happens is you act as you dress and soon the act becomes too real. Dress like a whore and act like a whore and . . . .

Many people are going to disagree. They will tell you a person has a right to express him or herself and if people can’t handle it, it’s their problem.

the sixties when women expressed their freedom by burning their bra. It was a symbol of women’s independence. Gradually it ceased to be a symbol of liberty from male domination and turned into a symbol of free sex. The pill provided for freedom from pregnancy, not always, but sufficient for the times. The display of breasts and genitalia, for the sake of arousal did harm to the whole idea of sex. Sex became an animalistic satisfaction of procreative urges. Women went out of their way to demonstrate they too could be animals. The reality is sex is a gift from God, meant to be a pleasure. It is part of what separates humans from the animals.

Thomas Aquinas seemed to have a lot to say about sex.

Aquinas had a lot to say about many things. Many of his comments were unkind to animals. He seemed to think that only humans were God’s creation. I’m not sure where he thought animals came from. Do you really think Aquinas and Paul received instructions on having sex through revelation? Use your head. Why would God give humans the ability to enjoy sex? Why did God make man different from the bull in the field? God wanted men and women to be partners and He wanted them to share in a special gift—sex.

Sex seems to be the number one item on a man’s mind. So many men state they are wired to have sex with as many women as possible. It’s just in their genes.

That’s a poor excuse for bad behavior. Figure it out. Do you want to associate with men who treat women as sex objects, who can’t have a relationship and can’t make a commitment? A man denigrates humanity when he says men are only on this earth to have sex with women. The bull moose in the wild takes a cow in heat without thought or care for anything else but ejaculation. The bull is relieved, the cow is impregnated, and both go back to grazing. Human beings are not animals. They are human beings. When humans were created, they were given the ability to enjoy sex. That means sex can be enjoyed without procreation as an objective. When men act like animals and have no other objective than ejaculation, then the gift from God is tarnished and misused. If God meant men to act as animals, then women should be in heat and men will act with no more manners than the bull in the field. Wake up! How stupid can you get?

I don’t think it’s our fault entirely. Many of the religious spokespersons over the

ages have argued that men were hardwired to have indiscriminate sex wherever and whenever they could. They loudly proclaimed that men should restrain their animalistic urges and practice sex only for procreation. God-fearing men should also not enjoy the sex act. Thomas Aquinas of the 13th century AD was considered by many to be the Catholic Church’s greatest theologian. He was staunchly against anything besides procreative sex and then only in the missionary position. He opposed masturbation and any form of sexual pleasure. He could trace his attitudes back to Paul. Paul argued sex was an interruption to his work and felt he was more effective without sex of any kind. The Catholic Church frequently cites Paul as the reason for priests to take the vow of chastity. Sex is a dirty word. I think we’re just a little mixed up.

I’m not sure why Paul or Aquinas felt it necessary to onish people to refrain from enjoying sex. I would think it would be obvious. God made humans so they can enjoy sex. I can get upset when a man declares that God made man no different from the bull in the field. I wonder why it is so hard to understand. Sex has to do with two people embracing each other. The holding of hands, the soft touches, the caress of a cheek, the hesitant kiss—all these are a prelude. Sex is enjoyed by two people in love. Sex is enjoyed when there is something else besides sex. It is not a one-night stand. Sex for just sex is no more than an animal. Humans are meant to be different. The question you must answer— whom do you want in heaven?

You say sex is something for two people with some sort of a relationship not dependent upon sex. It’s something more. The Christian rule is sex is for married couples. Our civil laws only deal with consenting adults; marriage and commitment are not required. When is sex okay? Teenagers with hormones raging struggle with when to lose their virginity. Boys keep score on how many virgins they have compromised. What is right? Is sex only for two people in love? One current view is sex is a natural expression between two people and needs no restrictions.

If the relationship is only so sex can happen then it doesn’t qualify. A relationship must exist between the two parties. Their bond grows until sex is a natural and enjoyable act. It was meant to be the dessert not the main course. You consider waiting until marriage as a Christian thing to do. Save yourself for your wedding night. The problem is humans treat marriage like a new suit. It’s something to be tossed as soon as it begins to show wear. Marriage is not the test, relationship and feeling are.

What about love?

Love is something beautiful and almost sacred. Love is something different from sex. You can have love between a human and an animal, love between two animals, and the love between two humans. Sex is not a part of it. Love is not restricted to just a man and a woman. Men, women, dogs, cats, horses, all of God’s creatures can find love. Love and sex are different. Love can and does exist without sex. Sex has nothing to do with love. You don’t have love in order to have sex and sex certainly doesn’t create love.

A young boy and girl fall in love. They wed in a ceremony before God and pledge their love for each other. On their tenth anniversary there is an accident. The young girl is paralyzed from the waist down. Sex between the couple ceases to exist. They celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Is this what fairy tales are made of?

Very few have a love that strong. A mother’s love for her child can be that strong. A father’s love can be that strong. A husband’s love can be that strong. All three will love the young girl with all their heart and soul and no sex will transpire between them. Any of God’s creatures can have a love that strong.

Love exists independent of sex. What is the saying? True love lasts forever. Does sex exist independent of love?

This is where I’ll pull a Bill Clinton. It all depends upon how you define sex. Sex is misunderstood. You use one term as an all-inclusive description of sexual behavior. A young teenager masturbates in the privacy of his or her bedroom or bathroom. Is that sex?

I can see the trap.

What trap?

If I say no, then the next question is what if there are two teenagers masturbating in the privacy of their bedroom? What if they are of the opposite sex? What if they help each other? Is any of this sex?

Is it? Is homosexual behavior any more than this?

Is any of this wrong? Sister always said I would go blind. My eyesight has deteriorated but I can still see.

Sister’s onition was that this type of behavior was a misuse of the sexual organs and not what God had intended.

So, it is wrong?

Yes and no. Your world seems fixated on sexual development. I’m not sure why. Very early in life, humans develop their self-identification. You are born with a penis or a vagina but you need to learn whether you are a boy or a girl. This process is complicated and I don’t think humans really understand it. The argument goes back and forth about nature versus nurture. The gay community argues for nature while the Christian fundamentalist argues for nurture. As usual, they ignore academia and findings regarding character development. Character is pretty well formed by the end of a child’s sixth year. Psychologists used to say that after this point change is almost impossible. During this first six years, a child develops some idea as to his or her own sex. Nature creates a boy or a girl. Nurture comes about and the child questions or even switches identities. We get the boy who is more comfortable with girls and vice versa. There’s nothing sexual at this stage. Boys and girls grow up with a great deal of curiosity of first their own and then other’s sex organs. Puberty brings about the realization that there is pleasure associated with sex organ function. While young, masturbation is fun and satisfying. Curiosity continues to expand one’s horizon to watching others. Boys start out competing with each other on how far they can pee and evolve into how far their ejaculate travels. During the early stages of puberty, the exploration can involve both sexes. Masturbation isn’t the only form of curiosity. There is handholding, flirting, kissing, and role-playing. They play house, they play doctor and are quite innovative in finding themselves.

Most settle into boy/girl relationships. A few don’t. A few seem to fixate on the same sex orientation. Homophobia develops as boys and girls fear that even one excursion will brand them for life. The animosity and hatred at gays is frequently no more than a fear of one’s own inherent unsatisfied curiosity. What we fail to understand is that humans develop in all sorts of ways. We try to label each type of behavior with very poor definitions. I think the homosexual, heterosexual, and bisexual fall short in defining anything. The term used politically is gay. Most would define gay as two people of the same sex

participating in genital arousal. We have to realize that humans are capable of indiscriminate sexual behavior without any thought of who their partner is. Genital arousal with or without satisfaction is a goal sought without concern for neat definitions.

The real problem is the limitation of your language. Sex is probably the most misunderstood term in English. President Clinton’s vast vocabulary and usually excellent ability to choose the right word fell short when confronted with some of his behavior. He chose to limit the definition of sex to heterosexual coitus. A male and a female doing an act that in all animals is for procreation.

As President Clinton pointed out and many teenagers would agree, sex would not include other acts that only involve genitalia and their arousal. Historically, Christian thought was that sex shouldn’t be enjoyed, should only be for procreation, and all other forms of genital arousal were banned. In modern times enjoyment has been, I think reluctantly, allowed.

In most mammals, the female presents herself at ovulation. She is uninterested in sex except at that time. The sex is indiscriminate and only for the purpose of procreation. The female displays her wares and seems indifferent to which male reacts. The male also seems indifferent to who the female is, only that she is in heat. The male can also be indifferent to whether he chases after a female in heat or chases after anyone or anything. There is a physical urge that seeks relief.

Maybe we should refine our definitions before seeking guidance on this issue.

Shoot, it’s your language.

First, let’s restrict our discussion to humans. Second, let’s define sex as all behavior that seeks genitalia arousal or satisfaction. It’s the broadest use of the term and I think the more appropriate definition. Genitalia satisfaction is what drives procreation. Without that drive, the world population would be significantly smaller. Third, we can segregate sex into three categories: indiscriminate-sex, relationship-sex, and self-sex. Self-sex is the easiest to define. It only involves one person. The more common term is masturbation. Indiscriminate-sex means the driving force is sex. Procreation is usually accidental and not a desired result. The person who likens him or herself to the bull in the field proclaims that humans are hardwired for sex with as many as possible. This person is likely to engage in any form of sex. He or she would not discriminate between the same sexes or opposite sexes. He or she just wants sex. Deviants, pedophiles, and sex offenders are subsets of this category. Relationship-sex is sex that grows from a relationship. It is the dessert not the main course. Gay is a subset of this term and means sex between two of the same sex. Heterosexual is also a subset and means sex between two of the opposite sex. Procreation is considered an acceptable outcome. I have not included gay in indiscriminate-sex. I think the term should be restricted to mean same sex couples who are in a relationship. I question the use of the term when referring to indiscriminate-sex between same sex partners. Maybe I’m reacting to the political battle regarding this issue.

I’m assuming that you have an opinion on each of these sets and subsets. Let’s start with gays. Where do you stand?

Gays aren’t right or wrong, they’re just gay. Gays don’t seem intent on expanding their numbers. They appear to be more tolerant of heterosexuals then the heterosexuals are of them. I can see problems arising when one considers visual stimuli. We separate boys and girls from showering and dressing together based on our fears of visual stimuli. The gay, male or female, doesn’t fit. Don’t ask, don’t tell by the military isn’t a commentary on homosexuality; it’s just an

avoidance of providing individual privacy. Maybe we should all learn to control ourselves and develop tolerance. It fits with Your second Commandment.

So much hate is directed at gays, especially from fundamentalists. Where in the message from God is the instruction to hate? Why would a born-again Christian, believing in Jesus and his preaching, hate. They single out gays with hate, and then tolerate indiscriminate-sex. Why would indiscriminate-sex be acceptable? Indiscriminate-sex is wrong on so many levels. Those who practice this random sex for sex sake are not wanted in heaven and some will earn hell. Those who practice hate in any form earn the same result. Heaven’s gates are not open to hate and prejudice. , anything besides relationship-sex is denying what humanity is all about. It’s fine for animals. It is not fine for humans. It has no place in society.

We’re down to relationship-sex as the only thing acceptable. It’s not too different from waiting for your wedding night. However, it’s difficult to require a wedding. Marriage seems to start and end repeatedly as relationships change. We can just limit ourselves to relationship. With a relationship, we can enjoy sex.

God did not mean for sex to be boring and unimaginative and strictly for procreation. A woman does not need ovulation to want and enjoy sexual intercourse. The difference is important. God meant for humans to enjoy sex. However, God also did not mean for it to be without meaning. God meant for sex to be enjoyed by two people who have some meaning to each other. The rules for minors and the rules for adults are no different. They should not have sex unless and until they are prepared and willing to accept having a baby. They should be mentally and financially prepared. Two people who have sex and are not prepared to raise a child together are no better than a rapist. The act has little to do with the beauty and pleasure God meant but is instead an animalistic orgy. The test of a proper sexual relationship is the idea of having a child together. If

having that child is physically impossible, the test still exists. Random meaningless sex does no more than denigrate the whole idea.

Somehow, many have interpreted Your rules as limiting sex to procreation. If, however, two people in a relationship cannot have children then the test is not necessary. They don’t have to consider a child.

You still don’t get it. Meaningless random sex is two people looking for an orgasm. Whom they’re with is of little importance. What’s the difference between that and the bull in the field? Humans are special, they are not animals, and they have a purpose. When two people to enjoy a gift God has given them, they need to respect God’s wishes that a relationship must exist, and that each is willing to in raising a child. The possibility or impossibility of a child being born from the act is not important.

What about marriage? Aren’t people supposed to wait until they are married before they have sex?

What did I say, meaningful relationship—monogamy. Marriage is a civil thing. It has to do with property rights, inheritance, and taxes. It has little to do with God. Divorce is so common it makes marriage laughable.

How long should the relationship exist? Obviously, a one-night stand doesn’t qualify by definition.

A little like the marriage laws. You’re married until you don’t want to be married. Humans are always looking for an out. If I stay for a week, is that okay? Humans tend to forget who God is. It’s not the words; it’s what is in your

heart and soul. You can’t con God when you enter into a relationship. He knows if the motives are pure. If there are children, the commitment should last until the children are grown and ready to go out into the world. Wrap your head around this. The old rule was that sex was only for procreation. That somewhat still applies. The test of a relationship is the willingness of the partners to raise a child together. When that is no longer true, the relationship ends.

There are times when a relationship has to end. Staying together is harmful.

Such as?

Physical or substance abuse.

Abuse is sadly tolerated far too long. Once a person falls into an abusive behavior, there is little anyone can do. Abuse, whether physical, mental, or addictive, is a personal problem. Too often, a spouse and children are harmed in a mistaken belief that love will make the person change. Nothing outside of the person will make them change. Change can only come from within. Courts that try to continue the environment wherein the abuse has existed do nothing but continue the harm. The relationship should be terminated at the earliest possible time, as soon as the abuse is recognized as such. All assets shall belong to the surviving spouse.

A little harsh.

Abuse should never be tolerated. Tolerating abuse is not helping.

In Mark 10:9, when asked about divorce, Jesus responds, Therefore let no man separate what God has ed. Marriage is a binding relationship made in heaven.

There’s the rub, isn’t it.

What rub?

ed by God. Neither a priest, nor a pastor, nor a minister, nor civil authority, not even a Pope is God.

So there’s no real marriage, only what we have here on earth?

Two people who believe in God, who trust in God’s presence, and relate to God can marry. It takes two such people and God. They together before God and with God’s blessing.

Is it till death do us part?

It is until God says it is no more, not before. You and your wife celebrated your twenty-seventh anniversary this year. You’ve been married before. What is the difference?

We knew each other some three years before anything happened. We then had almost a year of being engaged.

I think you’re purposely avoiding the real difference.

My wife wanted to be married in the church. Although I have my problems with Catholicism, I hadn’t been married in the church. I had some feeling that a church wedding would be before God.

It wasn’t using a priest instead of a minister that made the difference, it was your attitude as to where God dwelt. Marrying before God is a personal thing that two people have to address before marriage. Marriage does not depend on a particular church but on the couple. You spent time before marrying in discussing the formality of the rite. The two of you had a Catholic upbringing and felt a Catholic wedding in church would be for real. Your vows were witnessed with your approval by God. This makes for a union that no man shall put asunder.

What rite is viewed as before God? Where will the vows be witnessed by God? Would two other people, raised with different Church teachings, feel the same in their setting and would they have their union blessed by God?

It’s not what is on earth but what is in your heart and soul that lets God be there. Nothing about the rite, the religion or lack thereof, or the person istering the vows affects the outcome. God is there when both of you want Him there. The marriage is a solemn vow you make to each other and to God. You put your faith and trust in God.

A church is not needed, a synagogue is not needed, a temple is not needed— there is no building needed to house God. He is with you and will you together in Holy Matrimony at the time He sees in your heart and soul the commitment to each other and to God. It’s not something that can be faked. It’s not something to do because there is a baby coming. It’s not something to do because everyone expects you to. It’s a thing between two people in love with each other and in love with God. Sounds simple, but it is so much more. I would guess there are very few marriages that meet the requirements.

It is a rite not to be taken lightly.

You’ve created man and woman. You’ve given us a life far different from the animals on this earth. You’ve given us a few instructions and you offer the Kingdom of God for following them. Heaven is there for the asking.

Heaven is complete freedom. You can do anything you want. There are no police, no army, and no government. Once in, you’re in for good. The selection process is necessarily arduous. Religion has struggled with this.

I think the Church recognized early in the game that getting to heaven wasn’t easy. For the same reason, they felt that getting into hell was also difficult. They came up with two additional places. As Baptism was necessary to be saved, they created limbo for those who hadn’t been baptized. Limbo was sort of a nothing place, neither good nor bad. You just sat around waiting for that day when you would be allowed into heaven. At least I think that was the result of limbo. The next creation was Purgatory. Purgatory was for those who hadn’t earned heaven or hell. They would suffer in the fires of purgatory until they had

sufficient punishment for their less significant sins. I don’t think religions have really recognized what happens if you don’t get to heaven but you really weren’t bad enough to be in hell. A few years of burning in hell would purify the soul. Doesn’t that work? We punish criminals based on the severity of the crime.

How is that working for you? You take a minor criminal and put him in the worse environment possible. You offer no protection. Any innocence is quickly washed away. When the person is released, have the years in hell purified his soul? Not likely. You have this concept that if a citizen acts poorly then jail is the action that will correct his behavior. What planet was the author of that idea born on? Punishment is an absolute waste.

Isn’t being banned from heaven punishment?

Getting to heaven is a reward. It means you have demonstrated your complete and internal acceptance of the two Greatest Commandments. Hell or the dark reaches of the void is for those who have demonstrated that they can’t abide by the two Greatest Commandments. They are a danger to everyone around them. Their behavior ruins peace and tranquility. They are sent to reside with Lucifer because letting them into heaven would destroy heaven. Humanity ought to give up on punishment. Jail should only be for those that are a threat to their fellow humans. Give up the idea of punishment. , poor behavior means no heaven—simple as that.

Ouch!

Why ouch?

I don’t think many can get into heaven, including yours truly.

Only God is sin free. Humans will err occasionally, but in their heart and soul, those that get into heaven will love God and only one God and love each other. You started out wanting to know about women and their relationship with men. Have we cleared the air on that subject?

Your question makes me believe I have left something out.

There is a practice where a poor girl unable to raise a dowry will travel to the big city and become a prostitute. After a couple of years saving her money, she is able to return with a sufficient dowry to capture the best man available. The men compete as she is viewed as experienced in the art of sex. Is she wrong? How about the stripper who tries to earn enough for college? Has she crossed the line?

Aren’t You supposed to answer that question?

Use your smarts and tell me.

The prostitute has crossed the line. However, I think there’s a but in there.

Start with the question, why is she a prostitute? Why does she allow men to use her body for sex? Is she abusing the gift from God? We’ve said that sex is

allowed during a meaningful relationship between two people. We’ve said that random meaningless sex is animalistic behavior. The prostitute is doing neither. She becomes a paid party to random meaningless act. The act itself is wrong and does cross the line but does the mantle of shame fall on the man, the woman, or both?

The prostitute gets a ?

It’s a job that pays the bills and facilitates random meaningless sex. She gets a if what’s in her heart and soul provides the basis for a .

You can’t sin accidentally. You have to do it on purpose, right?

That’s true across the board. A girl being raped is not sinning against God’s rules.

Is the stripper sinning against God’s rules?

It’s the audience with the problem, not the stripper.

Are there many men in heaven?

Good night, James. I will watch over you.

Chapter 13

GOD!

Good morning, James. Sleep well and dry?

Thanks to You.

Sometimes it just happens. A good night’s rest without any demons can happen without my interference. You’re troubled with our conversations. The answer is obvious but I want you to work your way through the problem.

We’re beginning to talk about peoples’ behavior. How and what they should do to keep in Your good graces. I feel that in the past, when You have revealed Your message, the recipient expanded Your Word based on his or her beliefs and prejudices and not a part of your message. They talk about what to eat, what to wear for clothes, how long your hair should be, and a variety of rules and regulations for life.

Religions are famous for codifying laws to direct human behavior. The Muslim cleric proclaims that their Sharia Law is written by God, when it is no more than the ramblings of old men. The Koran is the Word of God. God has not written any law. God has given humanity two Commandments, no more.

Love God and love one another is all You want to say. The rest is up to humanity. They have free will and what they do with it is the test. What about Civil Law?

Each society is charged with making rules for behavior. Heaven has no law; behavior is controlled by just two Commandments. The Founding Fathers of the United States tried to lay down a general guideline for behavior, the Constitution. Americans have spent the last plus 200 years tearing it apart. What would Ben Franklin say, if he saw what has happened to the judiciary. Each massive court building has a statue showing justice, blind and weighing the evidence. Instead, each judge puts his or her own prejudice into each and every ruling. God has nothing to do with your civil laws. Destroy what the Founding Fathers attempted, it’s not God’s affair. As far as the religion’s laws, put forth as the holy law of god, it makes me wonder about how far my tolerance will go. I will not give you a new set of laws and you will not either. There are some misconceptions about what God’s message is. I think we should talk about those. We won’t get into everything; however, there are some big items that need correcting. We’ve just talked about the role of women. Their secondclass status has been presented as God’s Word. Women’s gains have come from reluctant civil authorities. Very few religious authorities have pushed the equality of women. There are wedding ceremonies in what they call the house of god wherein the woman is onished to serve her new husband and to accept a subservient role. They point to the Word of God as their authority.

I may be naive but I think the men who have promulgated the Word of God were of good faith. They preached what they thought was right.

You have more belief in your fellow man than facts would warrant. Not too many have had a revelation from God. Few have been visited by an angel. Few have personally heard the Word of God.

There it is. What is this voice in my head?

Everyone has a voice in his or her head. This voice does not give the Word of God but guidance to do good and avoid evil.

Then, what are we doing here?

You’re using your head. that thing called intuition. It’s that brain of yours pulling everything you know together and coming up with answers. It’s not pulling answers out of the air. You just don’t see the whole process. It goes on in your subconscious. the studies that suggest people use a small portion of their brain. Some say the difference between genius and average is how much of the brain is put to use. Even at the genius level, there’s still more of the brain operating outside of one’s consciousness.

I’m making up Your answers based on my best guess.

A little better than a guess, but yes.

Are You there at all?

Look back on your effort here. How many times have you written long sections, even once a whole chapter, and then gone back and erased it. How about when you are writing a section, it just feels wrong, and you have to go back. Why do you do that?

That voice in my head keeps telling me I have it all wrong. Sometimes it just a feeling I’ve gone too far and it’s just me talking. I feel there is a struggle between what I think ought to be said and what You want said.

As long as you listen to that voice in your head then the Words are from God. I am always there. I am watching your words and guiding what you say. Sometimes you are so strong willed about something I just let you go. I know I can get you to change it. That voice in your head works just fine.

Am I having a conversation with God?

You’re having a conversation based on what you know. When it gets to the part based on what you believe, God is there. God is always there.

I’m not sure I really understand, but I’ll keep on trucking.

You need to continue. I want the words to be written. I hope someone will listen. What is your next question?

What about birth control?

What about it?

Birth control is a practice to prevent procreation from a sex act. I know or at least believe that the use of birth control has little to do with God. Is it wrong?

Actually, there isn’t any reason for God to be concerned with birth control. It is always what is in the hearts and minds of the people practicing birth control, which makes it right or wrong. Birth control that enables one to have random meaningless sex is wrong.

A prevalent reason against birth control is the belief that a sperm and an ovum are life. They are the seeds of human life and anything that involves the unnatural death of the sperm or the egg is taboo. Someone once told me there is a quote somewhere in the Bible that says it is better to spew your sperm in the belly of a whore than upon the desert sand. The Pope could encourage a Crusader to kill, rape, and pillage—but don’t masturbate.

You’re being a little facetious.

I’m just making a point. The idea that life is sacred even down to the cellular level when the taking of life at the whole person level is ignored or even encouraged, is not facetious it’s deplorable. Over 400,000 people died in automobile accidents in the last ten years. Have we tried to ban the automobile?

Now you’re really being facetious.

I can see why birth control is not an issue with God. Assuming life down to the cellular level doesn’t work. Scratch yourself and you will collect live cells underneath your fingernails. Cellular life is not sacred. Human life is not sacred. Human behavior is.

God created all life on the planet earth. He created the birds, the fishes, the insects, the plants, and finally the humans. Thou shall not kill, was one of the Commandments Moses brought down from the mountain. There were no caveats to this Commandment. It meant all of God’s creations.

There are both herbivores and carnivores that kill for the sake of food. Humans are unable to live without housing and clothes and they kill for that. This can’t be wrong.

It isn’t. That’s what happens when a word is translated repeatedly through the years. What if in place of the word kill, you use slay, or murder, or euthanize, or assassinate, or execute. All of these words end up with the termination of life. Not all have the same connotation. When translating ancient texts we are caught up in definitions. Especially when the ancient text is in a vernacular language no longer spoken. Let’s consider a few examples.

1. A doctor goes to a three-martini lunch. An emergency comes up and he needs to operate on a patient. The patient dies. The facts will not be exposed. The American Medical Association and in most jurisdictions legal code will act to prevent any exposure of the facts. The argument is doctors will not practice if every time they make a mistake a murder trial will ensue. The secondary argument is that the cost of legal and medical liability insurance would be prohibitive. Has the doctor violated the Commandment, thou shall not kill?

2. A boy strolls into a strawberry patch. The strawberries are ripe and juicy. After he has his fill, he goes on a rampage and destroys the rest of the patch, killing the strawberry plants.

Has the boy violated the Commandment, thou shall not kill?

3. A soldier goes out on patrol. Insurgents ambush the squad, killing six soldiers. He is the only one who survives. When counting the dead on the other side they find two of the bodies are women who have automatic weapons still in their hands. A month later, the same soldier is on another patrol. He is with a different squad. They start to take fire from insurgents. The soldier kills an unarmed woman carrying a baby. Has the soldier violated the Commandment, thou shall not kill?

4. Late in World War II after the victory in Europe, President Truman is faced with a difficult decision. His top advisors want to use a new weapon, the atomic bomb. They can estimate the damage but no one had dropped an atomic bomb before. The basic argument was to cause so much damage as to frighten Japan into surrendering. There would be extensive loss of civilian life and who knew what damage from radiation that would last years. America had lost thousands of troops going from island to island heading to Tokyo. On August 6, 1945, acting on specific orders from Truman, an atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, Japan. Seventy to eighty thousand people were killed almost immediately, mostly civilian. Japan agrees to surrender with conditions. On August 9, 1945, acting on orders from Truman, an atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki, Japan. Thirty to forty thousand people were killed almost immediately, mostly civilians. Japan agrees to surrender unconditionally on August 15, 1945. Has President Truman violated the Commandment, thou shall not kill? What about the decision to hold back on dropping leaflets warning the civilian population? This had been the practice in order to save civilian casualties.

5. A young woman in Iraq is advised of her fame and fortune if she commits suicide. Her religious advisors convince her she is doing the work of Allah. This is a holy war on Allah’s behalf. She straps on a vest holding powerful explosives and walks into a crowded marketplace. Women, children, and fellow Muslims die

with her when she pulls the trigger and explodes her vest. Has the woman violated the Commandment, thou shall not kill?

6. A young boy gets a new BB gun for his birthday fully loaded. He goes out into the neighborhood and shoots cats, every cat he sees. He kills four cats that day. He returns home with his head held high, full of bravado. Has this child violated the Commandment, thou shall not kill?

7. A high school student is walking home in the late afternoon. She is hurrying home to tell her mother the great news. She had won a cash scholarship, enough to pay for the first year of college. She took a shortcut through an alley, something she knew she shouldn’t do. Four older boys suddenly appeared at the other end of the alley blocking her way. She knew trouble was coming. Fear rose up in her, almost paralyzing any reaction. She turned to run and saw two more come from behind dumpsters, blocking her escape route. She looked up, concrete buildings on both sides, fifty feet up. She saw a woman leaning out her window some three floors up. Her yell was piercing, a prelude to what would follow. One could barely make out the word—HELP! The woman ducked back in and closed her window. The young girl fought, biting, scratching, and kicking. The handle of a hunting knife struck the back of her head. She would not witness what followed. Each of the six boys would take his turn raping the beautiful young girl. Her beauty would gradually fade as they repeatedly knifed her face and body. Two of them wore the torn nipples over their heads as prizes. They kicked, punched, and stabbed a naked bloody body. The young girl’s eyes were closed from the swelling, one arm stretched out crookedly. Her feet seemed odd as they were under her. Bones stuck out where knees should have been. The boys walked out of the alley together, bouncing and laughing, patting each other on the back. They were men. The police found her while on patrol. The ambulance sped away. She wouldn’t walk again, one eye was blind, and her face would never again be called beautiful. She recovered but she was pregnant. The parents were devout Catholics and they would not allow for an abortion. Later she learned of a way with knitting needles. The baby was aborted. The young high school student died from hemorrhaging.

How many violated the Commandment, thou shall not kill? Whom will God welcome? The boys, the woman in the window, and the parents will not see the Kingdom of Heaven. Did the student violate the Commandment of thou shall not kill?

8. A young woman sits on the side of the bed. In her hand is a tester for pregnancy. It reads pregnant. It was a night three weeks ago. She was out with her friends. One drink too many and a persistent guy. Unprotected sex and the miserable feeling the next morning. A clinic was on the way to work. An abortion was arranged. Did she violate the Commandment of thou shall not kill?

Shall I go on?

Will you tell me the answers?

No. The word on the tablet carried by Moses was not kill. The word could more closely be translated as murder. You will find murder is also difficult to define. All of God’s creatures are protected by this Commandment. The boy who stomps out the strawberry patch is as guilty as the boy with the new BB gun is. What you won’t like to hear is they will be denied entry to the Kingdom of God.

Isn’t that the same result as with the six boys who raped and killed the student?

There is some difference depending on what is in their hearts and mind. Repentance and forgiveness are always a possibility. However, and you must understand this, the behavior of the boys killing plants and cats is just as

unacceptable as the behavior of the boys raping and killing a high school student. It is unacceptable. Unacceptable behavior means no entry.

How about the rest of the stories?

You figure it out. There is a theme to it all. Murder is in the hearts and minds of the person killing anything. Man may not be able to decide but God can. The decision is not just in the act, but what was in the person. Your soul lasts an eternity and is able only to God.

So what is the rule? Thou shall not kill, no matter what except when there’s a good reason. When is a reason good enough to kill?

You kill animals for food and you are onished to kill them humanely and to treat all animals humanely. Indiscriminate killing of animals for sport is not a valid reason to kill. Even the practice of thinning herds of deer should be for food. Where there’s more food than a hunter can use there certainly are homeless and poor looking for a meal.

What about killing animals for their skins or fur or whatever for clothing and adornments?

Sometimes you seem to ignore what I have to say. I said killing animals humanely for food is a valid reason. I didn’t expand on that for ivory earrings or fur coats. The incidental use of skins or fur or whatever from animals killed in accordance with my rule is not prohibited.

I sometimes forget myself. I only ask questions because I don’t understand, not because I would in any way question Your authority.

I didn’t think you questioned my authority. My anger is only a reflection of my consternation at why the human race doesn’t listen. Why do they ignore my messages?

I think it’s because we are always looking for that loophole. How can we justify what we want to do? I would like to close some more loopholes. You’ve said the soul lives on for an eternity. Your Commandment not to kill did not mean the soul, as that’s impossible. Your Commandment means taking of cellular life. When we think of a whole animal, we can find valid reason for killing for food. I am assuming cannibalism is not a valid reason.

There have been instances where man has eaten another human when that human was already dead and it was a question of survival. Animals in the wild will sometimes eat the bodies of fallen comrades. Killing of another of the same species for food is atrocious and probably one of the worse sins against God no matter what the reason. There are many valid reasons to kill. Self-defense is probably used the most. The testimony was, “I feared for my life and shot.” The validity of the statement may not be known to man but is known to God. In war, the excuse gets a little fuzzy. You kill the opposing soldier who may or may not at that moment, be trying to kill you. The saying, kill or be kill seems to satisfy the requirement.

War became civilized during the Middle Ages. Battles between opposing forces were often viewed by townspeople sitting on a nearby hillside. During the revolution, Washington was troubled by the militias. He saw them as an undisciplined force which, if let loose would create mayhem and civilian losses. The trained soldier would stand in line facing the opponents’ line and fire on command. The officers would stand to one side and there was an unwritten rule

that officers were not to be shot, all very civilized.

Genghis Kahn wasn’t as civilized although he would protect the civilians in a town if they surrendered immediately. Those that gave battle saw their towns devastated and civilians raped and killed. Crusaders had a reputation when a city fell to search for loot, killing civilians, and raping women during their effort. General Sherman of the Union Army often commented on the concept of total war. Although his battle orders called for constraint when dealing with civilians, his troops ravaged the population from Atlanta to the sea, not very nice.

Total war, civilized war, and rules of engagement do little to minimize the huge loss of life during any war. Is all this killing excused as it is for a valid reason?

War is complicated. Genghis would have argued that by being ruthless with cities that didn’t immediately surrender, he was saving lives as more cities capitulated quickly and lives were spared. Jesus preached turning the other cheek. Some say he was a pacifist.

The Holocaust is a good example of how well pacifism works. Does all this confusion mean humans are free to kill in the time of war? Should God accept war as an excuse for killing?

Too many wars have been fought in God’s name. How can so much death and destruction be attributed to God? You shall not kill is easy to understand. You shall not cause the death of another. Young Muslims are told to strap on explosives and then blow themselves up hoping to kill as many as possible. The killing is indiscriminate. Fellow Muslims,

innocent civilians, and children are included in the death toll. For this, their religious leaders promise them heaven. The suicide bomber is certainly not acceptable for heaven. Their fate will be decided by God. However, those that send these young people on these missions, calling themselves religious authorities listening to the voice of God will receive no mercy. Their souls will languish at the deepest darkest part of the void for all eternity.

Killing seems to be a human pastime. Every second of every hour of everyday, a person is killed by the action of another. Judges scream out against capital punishment. They worry and fret that the execution will cause pain to a convicted murderer. They then turn around, and release perverts and drunks back into society to kill randomly. Society’s concept of justifiable homicide is conflicted. The homeowner shooting an unarmed burglar is tried for murder. The police officer with a no-knock warrant shoots an innocent occupant and we call it a sad mistake. We don’t know what we’re doing. We just keep on killing.

Do you think it will ever stop? Will drunk drivers be banned for life from ever driving? Will justice ever come to the homeless, the ghetto born, the poor, and the impoverished? Do they see justice as blind or just expensive? Does anyone realize that God is watching? Don’t you know that your time on earth is so short when compared to the eternity your soul will live?

It can stop. We can have peace on earth and goodwill towards man. It is in our reach. God has given us two Commandments. These are difficult to follow but not impossible. Humans have to stop trying to be a god. Humans have to treat each other with love and kindness. Humans have to give up hating and prejudice. It’s not that hard, is it?

Go to sleep James, we will continue tomorrow.

Chapter 14

GOD!

Your never ending quest for truth and justice.

You’ve been watching too much TV.

Some of it’s good. The stories are fictional; however, some of the events mirror real life. Life on earth is not going in the right direction.

How do we reverse the trend? Isn’t there a way to find good?

The meek need to get off their you know what and act as if they are going to inherit the earth. The reality is no one really cares. They’re all busy worrying about “me”. When does my ship come in? When am I paid more for doing less? When do I get mine? etc., etc., etc.

That anger is beginning to show again. Are we really doing that badly?

When humans first started on earth, it was all they could do to survive. As the world population grew so did the knowledge of the rich resources the planet offered. Even at today’s populations, the earth offers more than necessary for

everyone to live a prosperous full life. Every man, woman, and child should have more than enough to survive. The resources on the planet are so immense; there is no basis for poverty, hunger, or any form of disparity. Humans have squandered this wealth. Wars have been fought throughout time because one side wanted more or a bigger share. Greed has meant immense wealth of those few individuals and nations who have little concern or care for those without. There has been a widespread push for freedom and democracy. The monarchy or tyranny has fallen on hard times—or has it. Each attempt at a republic, or communism, or socialism has been with the resultant benefit to the few. The ruling party grants favors to those who them. The United States was a beautiful effort to have the common person in charge. “All men are created equal . . .” has been long lost as wealth buys the elements of government. Each faction accumulates massive amounts of financial assets to ensure the ability to purchase every elected office in the land. The country has long lost any resemblance of a democratic republic. Special interest groups now control who gets elected. The meek have sat back and done nothing. The Founding Fathers of the United States tried to give the populace the power through the right to vote. Country after country offers its citizens that same right. Yet country after country sees its elected party bought as the majority of the populace sits back and does nothing.

Then who gets heaven? Anyone?

Not many. The ones with greed and corruption do not qualify. The ones who sit back and do nothing are not candidates. The question, are you your brother’s keeper? The answer, yes. Evil does not exist when the good does not allow such existence. The good usually have a way to stop evil. It’s not a question of needing God’s help; it’s a question of doing something.

Believing in God, saying your prayers, having no sin on your soul—that’s not enough to get you to heaven?

Think about it. Do you want the person who sits back and does nothing when evil rears its ugly head?

Is a person to stand up and be killed? Evil’s trademark seems to be a complete disregard for life. Few are that brave.

It’s not a question of bravery. Think of it. Why would anyone steal if it were impossible to sell their stolen goods? The “good” people burglary and robbery because they always want a “deal”. Stolen goods have a wide market of “good” people ready to buy. Drugs are a worthless enterprise except that “good” people will buy them. Think it through. How much of crime would exist except for the “good” people abetting and encouraging it.

The rich and not so rich are convinced they do no wrong. They don’t stop to think they are ing rape, kidnapping, and all sort of crimes when they have one smoke of marijuana, or that slim sliver of coke. During prohibition an organized class of criminals was born. They were born because Americans were unwilling to do without a drink. Buying gin from their neighborhood dealer wasn’t doing anything wrong. After all, a man needs a drink every now and then. Why can’t humans realize evil cannot exist in a vacuum? The American Congress has sold its right to make laws to the political action committees, to the political consultants, and to the lobbyists. The representatives of the people do

not write the laws, they’re written by the representatives of special interest groups. Votes go to the one with the most money. Every elected position is for sale. The most powerful group is the public service employees union. Given the power to shut down the government they hold up the taxpayers always increasing their wages and benefits. They cry that it’s not that their luxury benefits and high pay—just raise taxes—soak the rich. How many voters don’t see the injustice in this? What’s wrong with having your hand in the taxpayer’s pocket? The AMA sees to it that doctors can practice unencumbered without any oversight. What happens in the operating room is sacrosanct. Unless the doctor amputates the wrong limb, chances are you will never know what mistakes the doctor may have made. The ABA endorses more complex laws and regulations. The average citizen is at a loss as to how to maneuver the regulations and laws governing his behavior. They say ignorance is no excuse, yet many lawyers can’t decipher the latest law. Greed is everywhere. What can be done?

Why would God want to do anything? God didn’t make the mess. God created man and gave him free will. He has the right to make errors, to sin, and to do whatever he things is right. The problem is man does whatever he thinks will benefit himself and to hell with anyone else. Guess where he will end up.

Humankind throughout the world is hell-bent on getting as much as they can with little concern as to how they amass their personal wealth. Greed and corruption are everywhere. It seems the righteous are being squeezed out.

Why does the attraction of evil force a person to sin and ignore the Word of God? Why should God be concerned with evil? If humans want to go to hell, God won’t stand in their way. You have to believe that God is only interested in who es the test.

You did not create us just to watch us all go to hell. There was purpose to the creation of man. Humanity needs help.

You have the Torah, the Bible, the Koran, and numerous other books telling you how to reach heaven. What else can I do?

Apparently, the Books have not helped humanity. They’ve been taken up by man and used as a reason for the man to be in charge, to be well paid, to live in luxury, and to act as a god. Each religion has held their particular book on high as they’ve charged into battle to win land and riches for God and for Allah. How many people have died in the name of their God?

The message is there. It has been there throughout the ages. Love God and love each other. Love Allah, do good works, and give alms. What is so difficult?

I don’t know. I think that’s why we’re going through this exercise. It’s why I am writing a book.

Do you think you were meant to save humanity?

I’m not that foolish. The exercise is for me. I want to know the answers. If anyone else reads this and gets the message, so be it. I hope they buy a lot of books. This is my voice in my head. What I’ve written is not a guideline for life. It’s an example of what each person can do. They can talk to the voice in their head.

Nevertheless, you would like to see Me do something about the mess the world is in. You are asking for help.

I am. It’s just that I can’t see a way for things to get any better. Years ago, when I was young and naive I was a union steward. I began to question why the local was so controlled. Although there were over one thousand , a quorum to do business at a meeting was twenty-five. The total of all the officers and stewards was twenty-five. I voiced my objection to the elite running the local. We were going to have an election. The officers of the local were up for election and a ballot for a list of demands for the next negotiation. Additionally, we were asking for a strike vote. Why, I wasn’t sure. Negotiations hadn’t even started. I was told we needed to do that as it gave the negotiators more power if they could threaten a strike. The convoluted thinking was beyond my imagination. Anyway, I pushed and pushed until the controlling twenty-five agreed to have the election open for twenty-four hours instead of just during business hours. The last election had about thirty-five total votes. By opening the voting hours and giving the adequate opportunity to have their voices heard, the total count was just over thirty-five votes cast. The point is that the key to groups having power well in excess of their numbers is the indifference of their . The individual does not exercise his or her right to voice an opinion. Instead, they in the union leader’s opinion. An attempt in the courts to weaken this power by allowing each member to agree or disagree with the union bosses was of course defeated. Union who won’t take the time to vote in the union’s election, will obediently go to the polls and elect the union slate. Doctors and lawyers back their professional group with both time and money. Most don’t take the time or effort to change things. They act the same as union workers. Don’t bother me with the details just give me more money.

What do you want Me to do? Shall I rain fire and brimstone? Shall I rain water

and cause another flood? Shall I strike down the bastards with lightening? Just what do you want Me to do?

Greed and corruption is rampant because the majority of people want it to exist. No one is interested in slowing or eliminating greed or corruption. Most just want to get theirs. “How do I get on the gravy train?” Maybe there’s a feeling that greed and corruption isn’t a biggie. After all, it’s not the same as murder. It doesn’t mean going to hell, does it?

It doesn’t get you to heaven. , we’ve gone over this before. It’s not evil I am concerned with. I am looking for those who earn heaven and greed and corruption just doesn’t do it.

Are we stuck with what we have?

It’s not up to Me, it’s up to humans. Man has to want to go to heaven. Man has to want to heed my message. Man has free will and can change things. God is willing to give man a map on how to get there.

There’s no easy way, is there? There’s something about “being my brother’s keeper.” I know I read it or heard it somewhere. We not only have to follow your message, we’re supposed to try to help others follow Your message.

Are you going to start your own church, build an enormous cathedral, rise above your fellow man, and become holy?

That’s not in my charter. I’m not sure what this help your fellow man is all about. I don’t think it’s a matter of preaching.

Being your brother’s keeper means giving a helping hand when you can. The Koran speaks of alms. The Bible speaks of giving to the poor. In general, you are to help everyone. It’s somewhat of a populist concept. Spread the wealth. Take away from the rich and give to the poor. The problem is that when taken to extremes you create a class with their hands out. Heaven is not for the lazy, do nothing, or greedy crowd. The slackers are not welcome. Being your brother’s keeper is not ing your brother nor giving him money. Welfare begets welfare. The rich man who gives up all of his possessions does no more than make someone else rich and makes himself poor. He certainly doesn’t gain a spot in heaven just by becoming poor. The key is to help those that need help, not a handout.

As with so many things we talk about, it isn’t as simple as it seems. We’ve talked about the meek not really being so meek. The men who win the race but help everyone else do his or her best. Now we’re talking about a rich man who is successful and gets very rich, but also helps everyone around him make his or her own fortune. We don’t give to those who sit back with their hands out. We help those who can use some help in their struggle to be successful.

Think of the university we’ve talked about. The student is accepted and begins his or her first semester. Does our freshman get an A or does he or she flunk? On whose watch is the grade made? They’re universities that see to it that the freshman es—at least a C. The reasons are many. Citing one of those reasons is just going to irritate people. The point of my illustration is that God is only interested in those that earn their grade. Those that are given a grade through no effort of their own do not get a grade with God. ing the test has to be through the effort of the one wanting into heaven. There are no free es.

A rich man gives all his money away. Any credit for that act?

None. Why should giving away your assets earn you a spot in heaven? A rich man giving away all his money is now a poor man. That’s all.

What about the eye of a needle?

We covered that, ? We left it that being rich in itself will not deny you a place in heaven. It has to do with how you got rich. Now we’re talking about what you’re supposed to do while you’re getting rich. If you use your success to help others, you won’t get so rich. Amassing wealth isn’t the best way to the test.

We’re back to running the race and failing to help your competition. It’s the same in business. Who gets the credit and who gets the blame is a game well played by the successful. At the end of the day, what does it all mean? You are God Almighty, Ruler of heaven and earth. Your power is immense and it has no boundary. Yet, You do nothing.

If I do something, what does it achieve?

You can eliminate evil. With just a nod, You can destroy all military weapons. The grenade launcher can cease to exist. The machine gun will no longer be. The suicide bomber will be without explosives.

The Crusades went on for years without those weapons. The Inquisition tortured and killed how many without those weapons. It’s not the gun that kills; it’s the person holding the gun. Each time a person or persons are killed by a gun there is uproar for more gun laws. You have argued that taking away weapons from the innocent and law-abiding populace only arms the outlaw and lets crime go without restraint. Weapons are not the problem.

I think that if You are not going to intervene than we have to.

Now you’re offering no more than all the religions in the world. We will do God’s work. Allah has commanded us to kill and kill. The Pope has commanded us to kill and kill. The Ayatollah has commanded us to kill and kill. What’s the difference? You feel you must do God’s work and eliminate evil. If God wanted your world to be without evil, He would make it happen. Why would you or anyone feel you must do God’s work? It is an insult. You pray to God and recognize Him as God Almighty. You say He created the earth you live on. He created the universe. You, a small miniscule dot in the scheme of things, think you should do God’s work. You are going to intervene in Lucifer’s plans. You are going to stop evil. You have to be kidding.

Is there a bolt of lightning on the way?

There should be. If I assuage my anger by skewering you to the nearest lamppost, why not do the same to the whole world? Why not end this farce? It’s really not working.

Because You are God Almighty. You began this process by creating heaven and earth and putting Adam and Eve into a heaven to enjoy. They blew it. The simplest of instructions could not detain the search for knowledge. Maybe that’s the problem with being God. Everyone You create wants to be a god. Lucifer, an angel, in a place of no strife, no war, and no dissent wanted to be a god. The serpent promised Eve she could be a god. Yet, as You have so aptly pointed out, there can be but one God. There can be no others. You created a heaven, the Garden of Eden, with unsured beauty. As You strolled through lavish foliage, You interacted with the animals You had created. Those of us who strive to act in your image share that love of animals. You created angels and man in Your image. You wanted company to share the wonders of Your existence. Lucifer’s sin was much greater than Eve’s, yet both came from the same desire. They wanted to be a god. Maybe that drive is really the core of the problem.

That’s why I tossed the ball. That’s why you live on the earth in a universe.

You mean that’s why there is a test. The concept or thought, the greatest Commandment—there is but one God—is more meaningful then I think man has realized. It means so much more than just the words, there is but one God. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s goods can be expanded to thou shall not covet your God’s powers. Lucifer was created in Your realm. As such, he had to have power similar to God. Why else would he even attempt to be a god? Adam and Eve were created in Your realm and must have had powers. God is all-powerful and those He creates in His realm have a lot of power.

Wouldn’t it make sense that God would create equals to walk and talk with?

Equals, but only one is God. That’s why Lucifer could think he could be a god. He forgot the first and greatest Commandment—there is but one God. When God created the realm of matter by tossing that ball out, He created a situation where all men would be created equal. This is much the same as the creation of angels in heaven.

How many men would want to be a god?

From what history I’ve read, a lot of them. Many rulers declared themselves divine. How many have declared they rule by divine right. The list will go on and on. The Bible reports Jesus said upon this rock I will build my Church. The vernacular Greek apparently uses the same word for Peter as for rock. The argument is Peter was the first Pope, even though it would take centuries before that position was really defined.

With that small sentence a theocracy is born. The Pope stands above all others. He has the right to rule because of infallibility. No Catholic tenet of belief can be accepted unless approved by the Pope. Muhammad did not claim infallibility. He did not lead a theocracy. Those who claim his inheritance as holy appointees to lead a theocracy have no more claim than a Pope who stands on a rock.

So are we swatting at windmills? Is all this for naught? Is there a reason for this book?

There’s at least one reason. It has made you think about your existence and your relationship with God. Maybe just maybe it will guide you in the days ahead. Some will read this. If just one will repeat your exercise, maybe their actions will

change.

Nevertheless, I am not a prophet. I am not even a good example of ing the test. I struggle, as do so many, with my lot in life.

You’re not holding yourself up for scrutiny nor as an example. You’re holding our conversation up as a guide for others to follow. Each person needs to start a dialogue with God. Each person needs to realize that the two Greatest Commandment need to be followed. If enough catch on not only will heaven began to expand, life on your earth will become a lot better. Need I say more?

Thank you, God.