Pale Moon, Season 2, Episode 9: Phantom: Pale Moon, #9 4x2x2x

Season 2

Episode 9: PHANTOM

R T Green

Other books... Pale Moon: Season 1: Episode 1: Rising Episode 2: Falling Episode 3: Broken Episode 4: Phoenix Episode 5: Jealousy Episode 6: Homecoming Episode 7: Fearless Episode 8: Infinity Season 2: Episode 10: Endgame Episode 11: Desperation Episode 12: Feral Episode 13: Unbreakable Episode 14: Phenomenal Episode 15: Newborn Episode 16: Evermore The Daisy Morrow Series: The first one – The Root of All Evil

The second one – The Strange Case of the Exploding Dolly-trolley The third one – A Very Unexpected African Adventure The fourth one – Pirates of Great Yarmouth: Curse of the Crimson Heart The fifth one: The Terrifying Tale of the Homesick Scarecrow The Box Set – books 1-3 The Starstruck Series Starstruck: Somewhere to call Home Starstruck: The Prequel (Time to say Goodbye) Starstruck: The Disappearance of Becca Starstruck: The Rock Starstruck: Ghosts, Ghouls and Evil Spirits Starstruck: The Combo – books 1-3 The Raven Series – Raven: No Angel! Raven: Unstoppable Raven: Black Rose Raven: The Combo – books 1-3

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Little Cloud Timeless Ballistic Cry of an Angel The Hand of Time Wisp The Standalones

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Copyright © 2021 R T Green All rights reserved.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

COME AND US INTRODUCTION How Season 1 ended... Infinity And now, Season 2... Episode 1: ‘Phantom’ Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 AND DO COME AND US

COME AND US

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INTRODUCTION

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This is Season 2, Episode 9 of the Pale Moon story, the first episode of Season 2. Told in sixteen novella-length episodes over two seasons, Pale Moon follows the heart-wrenching journey of discovery of two lost souls, who could not be further apart when it comes to sides of the tracks. Pale Moon is romantic suspense at its finest, blended with espionage and a little sci-fi to keep you guessing what might possibly happen next. But at its heart, it is the emotional love story of two people who, if they had not found each other, would have remained lost forever. We’ve made Pale Moon a chronological serial, to fit in with a growing trend for shorter, serialised books. Imagine a TV drama, with sixteen episodes over two seasons that combine to tell the whole story, bringing you a host of unexpected twists and turns along the way. Pale Moon is that gripping serial drama, in book form. It will keep you pageturning, and episode-reading! To get the full experience, please do binge the episodes in order! Enjoy! Richard and the RTG crew

How Season 1 ended...

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She’d taken away the power of speech, again. But that was an insignificant speck of nothing compared to what she’d just said. She was about to take away everything. Utter disbelief thrashed a head that could take no more into shreds of despair. I sucked in a deep breath, a vain attempt to calm my shock. I finally found words, spluttered them out inanely. ‘After all this... after all we’ve been through, you’re just going to fly away from me?’ ‘Please don’t make it harder than it is.’ My stomach was doing somersaults, my head a pressure cooker of confusion. Lisa was dead, we’d all escaped with our lives by a thread, and now I was losing the woman I love? I tried to keep the anguish and anger out of my voice, but I stood no chance. ‘Harder? So if I’d just said “Ok, see you then”, it would have been easy?’ She stared at me, unmoving, silent. I watched two tears roll down her cheeks, saw her lower lip begin to tremble. And I knew then she was going through hell. My anger melted, I pulled her close, felt her arms wrap around me like she never wanted to let go. She whispered into my ear. ‘It has to be this way, Gerard.’ My shaking hands caressed her cheeks as I looked straight into her sad eyes. ‘No, Zana. What has to be is you and me, together.’ She eased my hands away, shook her head. ‘Please sit down, Gerard.’ I slumped into the co-pilot’s chair. I wasn’t getting through to her. And in my

mind I could see images of her disappearing, forever. I had to make them go away, before they broke me in two. ‘Tell me what this is about, Zana.’ She took my hand. ‘Some time ago, I swore to myself I would never take another Calanduran life. Today I did, because there was no choice. If I hadn’t, he would have taken yours. But now I have no choice but to take another. Your planet is safe from my sister’s evil, but if I do not end her life she will forever spread her menace through the galaxy. I cannot let that happen, so I must pursue her until it is done.’ I could understand her words. More than she realized. ‘Zana, let me tell you something. A few days ago you begged me not to be the bait on the hook. But although it was something I had to do, I never told you the real reason. Yes, of course saving the girls was crucial, but mostly it was the hope it would lead me to Tiri. So I could kill her.’ ‘I think perhaps I knew that, Gerard.’ ‘But I failed, didn’t I? Now she’s flown away, thinking she’s out of my reach. So take me with you, so I can make it right... and so you don’t have to be the one to kill your own sister.’ Still she was shaking her head. ‘You don’t understand, Gerard. I can follow her radiation trail, but the speeds of both our craft are the same. I cannot catch up with her, and even if I could, my craft has no weapons. My only hope is to follow her until she lands on another planet, and then look her in the eyes as I take her life.’ ‘So it might be a while. I don’t care.’ ‘Gerard... it is likely to be many years. Your home, and your life, is here. In truth, it may be that I never return to Earth.’ ‘Oh.’ I felt my head lower, couldn’t seem to stop it. ‘I didn’t realize that.’ We walked hand in hand back through the trees. The guys were standing together, looking a little lost after all the activity. The girls were gone, just one chopper still waiting on the lawn, its rotor-blades spinning. ‘We were just about to come and find you,’ said Coop.

‘No need now,’ I said. ‘Just been talking to Scott. He wants us back in London, making a full report, and explaining why our very expensive van is a pile of scrap.’ ‘That one’s easy,’ grinned Shirl. ‘It’s because you’re a facking useless driver!’ ‘I could put you on report, agent,’ he laughed. I saw Zana’s eyes drop to the ground. ‘You’ll have to go back without me,’ she said quietly. ‘Zana?’ Miles frowned. ‘I’m going after my sister. She cannot be allowed to continue destroying people’s lives.’ Coop looked at me with raised eyebrows. He knew what I was going to say before I’d uttered a word. ‘And I’m sorry guys, but DIAL is going to have to try and get by without me. I’m going too.’ Shirl looked devastated. ‘But... how long will you be gone?’ I hugged her tight. ‘No idea. But we might never be back, Shirl.’ She wiped away a tear. ‘I’ll miss you, so much. And I’m jealous, you lucky sods. Two lovebirds on an epic mission, chasing the Borg queen across the galaxy... how facking romantic is that?’ I laughed, but then I noticed Coop had turned away. ‘Hey boss... I have to do this.’ He pulled me into him. ‘I know, my friend. Just kinda got used to having you both around, you know?’ ‘Got used to being around, Coop. I’ll really miss you.’ ‘Just be safe, ok? You ain’t got me to watch your back anymore, Gerry.’

I pushed him away, grinning. ‘And that’s the last time you’ll call me Gerry!’ Miles and Zana were locked in a tight hug. ‘Hey Miles. Save a bit of her for me.’ He broke away, tears in his eyes. I just had to hug him too. ‘Just look after the old Jamaican for me, ok?’ ‘Hey...’ Coop retorted, finding a smile. ‘I will,’ said Miles. ‘It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it!’ The chopper pilot was gesticulating out of the cockpit window. It was time for the guys to leave. Darkness was fast approaching, and in one way I was glad of it. Saying goodbye to people who had become dear to me was getting harder by the second. Zana and me stood hand-in-hand, watching as they ran to the chopper and climbed inside. Three hands waved a last goodbye to us, and two hands waved one back. _ _ _ Coop couldn’t tear his eyes away from the window. As the chopper rose into the air, he watched the two people he’d done all he could to keep safe dwindle to tiny specks. He smiled to himself, memories flooding back of the times they’d spent together. He’d given Zana the codename Pale Moon when it had all started, what seemed like a lifetime ago. It had been an appropriate tag back then, when he’d believed she was one of the bad guys. But she’d proved him wrong. And so had Gerard. When he and Zana first met, neither had thought they possessed a heart or a soul. How things change. Miles’s face appeared beside him. ‘You think we’ll ever see them again, Coop?’

He shook his head. Back on Dawson’s Hill, when Gerard had killed Carl because he thought he’d ended Zana’s life, he’d let him go, told him to run. But as he’d watched him disappear from his sight, shattered and heartbroken, something in the back of his mind told him they would meet again. This time, he doubted they ever would.

Infinity

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My body seemed to want to flatten into the seat as Zana pointed the shuttle’s nose into the dark-blue sky, and we blasted into the upper atmosphere in minutes. But then the acceleration slowed, and she smiled across to me. ‘So what do you think?’ ‘Wow...’ I could hardly speak, gazing through the bridge windows at the curve of the Earth below us. Right at that moment, it was the most incredible sight I’d ever seen. I got the feeling it might not top the list for too long. ‘Look ahead,’ Zana said. I dragged my eyes away from the sight I might never see again. We’d left the atmosphere, and surrounding us was a kaleidoscope of stars brighter than I could ever have imagined. Billions of pinpricks of white light, so far away and yet making me feel like I could reach out and grab them. ‘Glad you came now?’ she smiled, taking my hand. ‘I was glad I came when the hatch door closed.’ ‘I’m glad you came too.’ There was one more goodbye I had to say. We were still close enough to Earth for Zana to patch me into the MI6 switchboard. After a bit of persuasion, they put me through to the DIAL offices. Duncan Scott thanked us both for what we’d done, the emotion in his voice coming through as clear as his words.

Then he ed me over to my father. I’d felt so bad for him and Tami; they’d come all the way from Tobago to be with me, but as things had turned out we’d hardly seen each other. They were still at DIAL HQ, waiting for us to return safe. I shed a little more mistiness as we talked. He understood why he most likely wouldn’t see his son again, and so did a devastated Tami. It was the hardest call I’d ever had to make. But it was the final, emotional closure on my old life. Four hours later, exhaustion overcame us. Zana put the craft on auto-pilot, the trace on Tiri’s radiation signature locked in to the navigation computer. We sank into the bunk in her cabin, covered ourselves with the duvet, and shut the universe away. ‘I so want to make love to you,’ she murmured, half-asleep. ‘So do I. But you’d probably insult me by falling asleep halfway through.’ She smiled beautifully, kissed me softly. ‘Yes, I think I would.’ It was never going to happen, not right then. But tomorrow it would, and the perfect joy we brought to each other would shine once more, and never be extinguished ever again. A minute later she was asleep. I lay on my back, her head nestled gently on my shoulder, her naked skin warm and so beautiful against my own. It was the perfect moment to allow a final few tears to fall. Bitter-sweet tears for Lisa, whose sad warrior life had been brightened by our brief yet meaningful relationship... and who had died comforted by the closeness of hearts we’d shared. And tears of utter peace, that only true love can bring. Our journey to this moment has been the rockiest of roads, strewn with hazards only an unstoppable love could have crossed. And there would be more dangers ahead, that much was certain. But now we can face them as one, an unbreakable

force driven by an equally unbreakable bond. You will perish at our hands, Tiri. I know you will. I kissed Zana on her brow, a featherlike kiss that I hoped wouldn’t wake her. I could feel myself drifting away, and I just had to tell her silently I loved her one last time before I fell asleep. In one way I have ended up with nothing. No home or possessions, no money that is any use, no career. None of those things are important, and never will be again. Because in the way that really matters, I have everything. And although our adventures will continue, as my exhausted eyes close, so does this chapter of my life. Cocooned in a silent mist of togetherness and pure love, I have all I need until the day I die. And that is the perfect time to bid farewell. ________

And now, Season 2...

Episode 1: ‘Phantom’

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This is the journal of Gerard deFerrier. That sounds a bit grandiose, especially as I’m not the kind of guy who keeps logs. At least I wasn’t, but for a reason I cannot yet understand, the need to document our epic new journey seems to make this an essential task. It is likely to be a very personal journal, and yet I already know Zana will read every word, with my full blessing.

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Thursday 2nd January AS I MAKE MY FIRST ENTRY, I look with some surprise at the date I have just written. Such was the epic nature of our last forty-eight hours, it escaped my mind that a new year has dawned. And yet it is perhaps fitting our journey begins at the start of this new year. One that will for sure bring us new experiences, new challenges. New dangers. And one that has already brought me something unexpected. The shock of my new, harsh reality. I am trapped. I cannot escape, not ever. Leaving my prison will mean certain death.

Zana and I are like twins, growing in a mother’s womb. She gives us life, and will nurture us as each day comes to . There is no way for either of us to leave our safe, silent haven. Not until she reaches her own safe haven, one that may give us life outside of her. That day could be many years away. And it is a sobering thought. Yes, I am trapped. But my prison is a perfect storm of joy and helplessness. Joy because the woman I love is beside me, and for the first time nothing and no one can take away our togetherness. Helplessness, because if either of us discover our love is not true, there is no option but to remain bonded together... perhaps for eternity. I am a willing, excited prisoner. Yesterday I made the choice to be locked away with the woman I love, the choice to undertake a long and perilous journey to right wrongs. But on this first day of our trek I realise I am helpless, reliant on the fragility of love I have little experience of. But I also know how I feel, in my heart and my soul. The power of love is extraordinary, overwhelming. And in truth, it is all I need. ______ Zana appeared in the mess doorway. I closed the screen, smiled to her. ‘I’ve just written my first log.’ A nervous laugh escaped from my lips. Totally out of character, but somehow it didn’t seem to matter anymore. ‘And now I sound like Captain Picard in Star Trek!’ She sat down beside me. ‘Perhaps not a million miles away from our situation. We are just two, but we have no idea what dangers we’ll find on our journey.’ She had a point. I made a mental note to start each entry with ‘Captain’s log, stardate...’ And I had to smile at an ironic thought. ‘So using that analogy, you’d be Deanna Troi.’

‘Is that a compliment?’ I didn’t answer that, she already knew. I handed her the notepad, a Calanduran device the size of a large mobile phone, which converted my speech into words on a screen. Zana had given it to me earlier, when I’d told her I was going to keep a log. It sure sent typing on a keyboard to infinity and beyond! She looked a little surprised I’d given it to her, took it hesitantly. ‘I thought on Earth diaries were... kind of private?’ ‘They are, but I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. Just be aware it contains the rambling thoughts of an insane mind.’ She smiled, but as she began to read my rambling thoughts, the smile faded. ‘You feel trapped...’ she whispered. I wrapped my hand around hers. ‘Read on.’ She finished digesting the words, and then looked up like she was somewhere else. ‘I see what you mean...’ Again the words were a whisper. ‘Zana?’ Her eyes were glazed over, she was a million miles away right then. Or more likely, many billions. Something in my words was perhaps not so insane after all. She stood, slowly, almost like it was hard work, and refilled our coffee cups from the auto-brewer. ‘Do you , back at Luigi’s... my rambling, insane words?’ ‘They weren’t rambling, or insane. The story of the olive will stay with me until the day I die.’ ‘Yes, but your words have brought it back to me, and added a new edge. When we were on Dawson’s Hill I told you I felt like the olive, plucked from its mother-tree, its heart punched out, and then forced to travel many miles to its final destination. But now, reading your journal...’ ‘You realise now you were trapped too... back on the mother ship.’

She nodded slowly, curled a hand around mine. ‘Yes, without knowing it. Once we left my world there was no choice, even if I wanted one. I was one of many olives, travelling through space in a tin can, with no escape until we reached another world.’ ‘And here you are doing it again.’ Her head lowered. ‘Yes.’ She looked sad, down even. I caressed her cheek with my hand. ‘Hey, there’s one difference though.’ ‘You are here,’ she whispered. ‘And we’ve both found love.’ Still she didn’t exactly look happy. And suddenly I began to realise Shirl’s envious description of us, the two lovebirds speeding across the galaxy to catch the Borg queen, maybe wasn’t all the sweetness and light she’d imagined it to be. ‘What’s wrong, Zana?’ Her beautiful face creased into confused contours as she fought to find the words. Her hand began to tremble in mine. ‘But what if... I mean, both you and I have no experience of true love, other than for each other. What if we both simply reacted to the situation we found ourselves in?’ ‘You might have to explain that a little more?’ She stood up, and walked to the far wall of the mess, like she needed distance between us to answer my question. ‘When we fell in love, we both knew... or thought, there was no possibility of it lasting. In the circumstances back then, it was highly likely one or both of us would end up dead. Did desperation make us fall in love, Gerard? Did it only happen because we had the comfort blanket of it being temporary, which has now...’ ‘Has now gone.’ I finished the sentence for her. She’d stabbed me through the heart, but it wasn’t the deadly sword it might have been. My feelings weren’t in question, but the uncertainty in her voice jabbed unease into me.

I walked over to her, slipped nervous hands around her waist. ‘Are you having second thoughts?’ She fell into me, shaking arms wrapping themselves so tightly around me it was almost painful. She sobbed out the words. ‘No... but I fear you may come to...’ I kissed her softly, tried to smile reassurance to her. ‘Let me tell you something, Zana. When I was sixteen, I thought I’d fallen in love, despite myself. It was the classic Motown story... for about a week. She was the it-girl of the pack, sucking up to the head honcho of the street gang calling the shots in my part of East London. ‘I fancied the hell out of her, ignored my own golden rule that love was a disease. Until one day I worked out she was using my infatuation to get me to do the boss’s dirty work for him... along with a stack of other adoring cubs.’ She sniffed away the tears. ‘So did you... get close?’ I laughed, pretty much to cover my acute embarrassment. Then somehow, it turned it into a sneer of distaste. ‘Oh yeah. Just the once. In her place one day, she fucked me like a rampant animal, then some other guy turned up and he threw me out. Needless to say, I never let her anywhere near me again. After that... well, I knew for sure love was a disease, and locked myself in a hamster ball. Lost count of the number of girls who fancied me, went on a few so-called dates but never let anyone else near me. Emotionally or physically.’ ‘So... no girls to give you comfort when you needed it?’ ‘Not until you.’ She nodded slowly. ‘I am humbled. But I do not fully understand why you are telling me this.’ ‘Because when you blasted your way into my life I was at the rock-bottom of the love pile, an emotionally hopeless case. Exactly why DIAL gave me the job of marking you.’ ‘They sure got that wrong.’ ‘Yeah... but the point is, living in my emotion-free world meant the only way

anyone would ever get through to me was if it was mind-blowingly, undeniably real. That’s how I know this is true love.’ Finally she smiled, a beautiful smile that told me she understood. ‘It is a little different for me. My sister was right in what she told you, about Calandurans not recognising what humans call love. But she was wrong about it not existing in our people. A few of us found out otherwise.’ I knew what she meant, the thump of recall in my chest making sure of it. ‘Does what Lisa and me shared bother you too much?’ She shook her head. ‘No. I understand they were real feelings, but could never have been as strong as ours. That’s not quite what I meant.’ ‘Tell me.’ Our lips met, a soft delicate kiss of love. ‘I lived all my life in the belief relationships were more physical than emotional. Even more so than you. Those around me, those who I’d grown up looking to for guidance, had only ever seen relationships in one way. You at least were brought up surrounded by your father’s love, and with stories and movies giving you an understanding of loving relationships. You had some experience to go on when you rejected love as a fool’s game, decided it wasn’t for you. I never even had that choice to make.’ ‘Wow. That’s a pretty sobering thought.’ She smiled, walked back to the table. ‘That is why you see uncertainty in my face, Gerard. Not for our love, but for my ability to simply accept and embrace it. Until today, our feelings grew in the midst of life-threatening danger... now, we are just two olives, safe but alone in a tin can with only our love to sustain us. And it scares me because I have no way to know if that is enough.’ I sat down beside her, took her hand. ‘Do you love me?’ ‘Of course I do. More than anything.’ ‘Then we are no different to any other couple. Love is a road to somewhere, but when you first step onto that path you don’t know where the hell it leads.’ I shook my head ironically. ‘Look us at us now, for instance. Who would have ever believed this is where we’d be right now? Before you, I wouldn’t even have

taken that first step... now I can’t wait to see where it leads us.’ ‘Even though we’re in space, and you can’t just pack a bag and grab the next train?’ ‘Especially because of that. It’s just you and me now... literally!’ She laughed, and I watched as the clouds lifted from her eyes. ‘You must allow me a little adjustment time though, Gerard. I think I’ve gone through even more changes than you recently, so lots of understanding hugs might be called for.’ ‘As long as I get some too,’ I smiled. ‘That’s the one thing you can be sure of.’ She picked up the journal tablet, read my insane ramblings again. ‘Will you write every day?’ ‘Not sure. Logs are another new experience for me. One more thing to just take as it comes!’

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I didn’t know it then, the first day of our new life together, but keeping the journal would turn into an obsession. It was to become my only fragment of sanity when our world imploded. When our month of hell began. When, five months into our journey, the nightmare became so bad I made the worst mistake of my life. I killed Zana. I didn’t mean to, I thought she was someone else. Crazy really, when there was only the two of us on the ship. ________

Chapter 1

Friday 3rd January TODAY HAS BEEN A STRANGE DAY. We have spent it tiptoeing around each other, like we are two countries engaged in a cold war, neither willing to make the first move because of the possible consequences. We are both suffering the psychological effects of our honest conversation of yesterday. Each aware of the other’s fears, we have perhaps reacted with too much understanding. It has taken me back to my childhood, forcing the recall of the day my mother walked out, and watching my father’s reaction as he read her hastily-scribbled note. Over the next few days I tried to be there for him, but was petrified to say anything to remind him of her. Staying away from the ignition button of raw emotion was my first priority then, and today it has been the same. I understand Zana’s need for time to adjust, and have perhaps allowed her a little too much. I have been afraid to say or do anything to force my love onto her, and instead give her the freedom to come to me. We have plenty of time, after all. But I am well aware I’m not the most patient of people, and as I sit alone in my bunk writing this entry before I find sleep, I have already decided the pussyfooting around must end soon. We did not sleep together last night, and won’t tonight. That is not a symptom of our emotional caution, more a practical necessity. The shuttle’s bunks are all single... and small singles at that. Our first night was an exception, the pure joy of falling asleep in each other’s arms overpowering the need for comfort. But for the length of the journey ahead of us, squeezing together into a tiny bunk is not the ideal scenario. But for me, neither is sleeping apart. So a little remodeling may be called for.

We spent the day dealing with practical matters, the first of which was a seriously urgent one. Neither of us had packed a trunk, and the lack of clothes was becoming blatantly obvious. Zana was slightly better off than me, a few bits of clothing still in the lockers of her cabin from when she first arrived. But I literally had the clothes I stood up in. We raided one of the previous occupant’s not-exactly brimming closet, found a couple of items, and made a few replicas of the smaller things in the amazing machine in the mess, which replicates stuff like a super-advanced 3D printer. Its range was somewhat limited, so my new wardrobe felt a little plasticky next to my skin... but it was a small price to pay for freshness. We also found a few spare Calanduran uniforms. Looking like alien soldiers was the last thing either of us wanted, but it gave us another option, for sure involving a few creative modifications. So tomorrow I’m going to bite the bullet and attempt to learn yet another skill. Sewing. I sure as hell need a clear head for that. Time to find sleep. ________ ‘I’ve brought you a coffee.’ Zana’s words, and the clunk of a metal mug on the tiny bedside table, forced away some of the fogginess of sleep. ‘Is it morning, already?’ In our strange world, it wasn’t a strange question. Speeding through deep space there was no night or day, at least one that involved a sun rising and setting. Yesterday we agreed to follow Earth-time, something we’d both been used to in the last year... just so we could keep some kind of record of each ing day. And Calanduran coffee was only just recognisable as coffee as I knew it, but considering it came from a world thousands of light years away, was amazingly similar. I took a sip. Zana sat on the edge of the bunk and ran gentle fingers across my cropped black hair. ‘Will you let it grow again?’

‘Guess that’s your call. In reality you see it more than I do.’ ‘I did love your beautiful hair. Something I will never have.’ I kissed her fingers, found my head nodding in agreement as I gazed on her perfect nakedness... something else that right then was down to practicality rather than desire. Neither of us had anything suitable to sleep in. There wasn't a single hair, anywhere on her body. Two small, pointed ears only just broke the smoothness of her skull; a tiny, delicate ridge began in the centre of her forehead and ran over her head, blending back into her body as it reached the nape of her long neck. Her green eyes were beautifully alien, but still gave away her fear and uncertainty. The shape of a slender leaf, they slanted upwards as they curved to a perfect point. Full lips smiled hesitantly to me, a deep iridescent red, so dark they were almost black. Her perfect body was identical to that of a human woman’s, except for her fingers. A little longer than mine, they still managed to be elegant and feminine. But her skin was far from human. The centre of her face and torso, and a strip along her arms and legs, were a deep dusky pink that seemed to shimmer in the low lights of the room. The rest of her, like a leopard, was dappled, tiny patches of red darkening the closer they came to the outside of her body. The first time I saw her true colours, her beauty had stunned me. It still did. I forced myself away from the recall, smiled and told her what she wanted to hear. ‘Then I shall let it grow, just for you.’ ‘Thank you.’ She stood up, and I felt my hand gently squeezed. ‘What’s on the agenda today?’ I asked. I saw her head lower. ‘I wish to teach you to fly this craft.’ A wave of sadness wafted across her face.

‘Zana?’ ‘Should... should anything happen to me, you will need the ability to get home.’ ‘Please don’t say that. I won’t let anything happen to you.’ She slumped onto the edge of the bunk again. ‘Gerard, with the best will in the world and the strongest love, you or I cannot guarantee one or both of us will not perish.’ Ok, wordless again. She’d hit the nail on the head, and I had nothing to argue with. ‘Guess you’re right.’ ‘We have to cover all eventualities. And we have plenty of time, after all.’ Somehow I found a smile. ‘I drove beat up old cars in the East End before I was legally old enough to do so, armoured vehicles in the Afghanistan desert, a BMW i8 when I was marking you... so adding an alien spaceship to the list is just the next step I suppose!’ She laughed, a sound so good to hear, and gave me a hug. ‘This one may be a little harder to get the hang of. But at least there are no gears.’ She left, and I slipped on a few bits of clothing. Learning to fly the shuttle would make for an interesting day, and perhaps help ease the nervous tension. But when the day was done and the time to relax arrived, I had plans of my own. The impatient side of Gerard deFerrier was going to end the tension once and for all.

Chapter 2

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‘What does this one do?’ I reached out a finger towards a big red square of light on the navigation console. I had no intention of actually pressing it, deliberately over-playing the dumb rookie astronaut, but Zana’s hand caught my wrist to stop me. Then she smiled in a slightly-sheepish way, realising she was being wound up. ‘Even you are not that dumb.’ ‘Hey...’ She kissed my fingers, and then allowed my hand to drop back to my side. ‘You want to play dumb, so I’ll play the tough instructor.’ ‘Ok, got me again.’ She’d blended into my silliness, and it was a good sign. But it didn’t alter the fact my question was a genuine one. ‘So what does it do?’ She grinned. ‘It’s the master switch for the long-range sensors... the ones that make it possible for us to follow my sister.’ ‘Ooh ok... so it’s quite important then...’ I caught sight of her expression. ‘Ok, I’ll cool it now. But I do have a genuine question, if it’s alright to ask?’ She narrowed her eyes, giving me a kind of answer. ‘So we’re following Tiri’s shuttle, a light-year or so behind, travelling at the same speed... what happens if we’re away in dreamland in the middle of the night and she suddenly stops? Do we shoot right past?’ She smiled, perhaps a little sympathetically. ‘The tracking sensors are linked to the ship’s artificial brain. If she alters speed, we will too. If she stops, so will we. And the ship will wake us.’ She shook her head slightly. ‘But I have a feeling

you’d already worked that out, Gerard.’ I feigned an awe-inspired look. ‘Oh Zana, you’re sooo perceptive. And I just love it that you’re so much cleverer than me...’ She shoved a playful hand into my shoulder, smiled as she walked to the helm, still shaking her head. She’d already shown me how to fly the shuttle, and I’d ed her strict driving test with distinction, but as I followed her over I ed a question I’d not yet asked. ‘So, we’re flying at totally-insane light-years-per-hour, through space that appears to a dumb rookie to be empty... but this dumb rookie knows space is never empty. Dust storms, tiny asteroids, bigger lumps of rock... how come we don’t hit anything and end up splattered all over the cosmos, seeing as this ship seems to be navigating itself?’ She glanced up, grinned. ‘Finally an intelligent question.’ She ignored the glare. ‘The collision warning sensor has a range of half a light-year ahead, which gives the ship plenty of time to make a minute course change to miss the object. You and I would never even know anything had changed, unless there is a large dust or ice storm in front which cannot be avoided with a small course change. Then the ship would slow, and ask for instructions.’ ‘But if that happened Tiri would already have done the same, so we might run into her before we were prepared.’ ‘, the ship is programmed to keep a certain distance between us. If her speed changes, so does ours.’ ‘Wow... modern technology.’ ‘Ok, you can stop it now.’ ‘Stop what?’ ‘The dumb rookie act.’ ‘Fair enough. It’s lunchtime anyway. What would I give for a bacon sandwich...’ ‘I’ve been thinking,’ I said quietly.

‘Should I be worried?’ That made me smile. ‘Wow, already you’re learning the human art of sarcasm.’ ‘I’m being taught by the best.’ We sat at the small table in the mess. Zana had done her best to programme the autochef to make me a bacon sandwich, and although it couldn’t come close to the ones my father made on our boat trips on the Broads, it was far better than no bacon sandwich at all. And I just had to smile at the very-human banter she was easily holding her own with. ‘I’m glad I can teach you something. And I suppose whether or not you should be worried depends on how good you are with a spanner.’ She nodded, in a knowing way. ‘You are thinking we should modify the interior of this shuttle.’ ‘Wow... now you’re starting to sound like Deanna Troi.’ That made her laugh. ‘Perhaps it is simply that I have been thinking the same.’ ‘Sleeping in separate cabins not cutting it for you either?’ ‘No. Since our weekend together, falling asleep in your arms each night is a pleasure I have missed.’ I tried to find the words to retort to her matter-of-fact way of putting something so wonderful, but the power of speech deserted me. Maybe because it was just so good to hear that we had both missed the same thing. I gave up on the retort I couldn’t find, said something practical instead. ‘I’ve not seen much of the ship yet, but I think we could take out a couple of bulkheads and make one big room with a double bunk.’ Zana stood, held out a hand. ‘Perhaps then I should give you the full guided tour, so you can decide if your interior design skills are up to the task.’ I took the hand, went with her back into the central walkway. ‘Hey, when the Taliban bomb out your living quarters every couple of months and you have to

remodel out of sheer necessity, this is a piece of cake!’ The shuttle packed a lot of stuff into its not-very-big size. The oval hull was split along its length by a single floor, making an upstairs and a downstairs. Upstairs was the living space, with the full-width bridge, its big windows and its incredible views at the front. Then the space was divided down the middle by the central walkway, with eight tiny crew-cabins arranged one after the other on the starboard side. On the port side, the mess and its small kitchen sat behind the bridge, followed by the medical room and storage rooms, and finally the airlock to the outside world. Then right at the stern, an elevator-type platform with no doors dropped us one level to the guts of the ship. It was noticeably warmer there. And noticeably noisier. ‘How come we don’t hear any of this upstairs?’ Zana smiled. ‘The bio-alloy the shuttle is made from also absorbs noise.’ ‘I wondered why I couldn’t hear you snoring in the next cabin.’ ‘I could hear you though. Some things even Calanduran technology can’t suppress.’ My mouth opened to say words that weren’t there. Again. So I shut it, and forced myself to accept that right from the first time we’d met she’d had the ability to leave me speechless. Some things won’t ever change. But thankfully there was too much to see to allow me to dwell on the unfortunate. Zana led me between two big black boxes, explaining they were the equivalent of human batteries, storing huge amounts of power for the engines and everything else. Then she showed me the life systems, and how to monitor them. The super-computer that in Calanduran wasn’t super at all occupied its own little room. In my mind I’d envisaged it as likely no bigger than a coffee tin. My mind was wrong. Way more advanced than any PC on Earth, it wasn’t any smaller. It did need its own room.

Then we poked around the tool shed. My father would have been envious. I would have had to drag him away kicking and screaming from the array of tools and equipment there. Interior remodeling was going to be a blast. Then Zana showed me the power core. That wasn’t what my mind expected either. ‘Is that it?’ ‘Do I detect a somewhat disappointed tone?’ ‘Well... it’s not like Star Trek.’ ‘Neither is reality.’ ‘But...’ ‘If I told you this could generate enough power for a small English town, it would surprise you I guess.’ ‘I’d say you were winding me up.’ I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away from something that was utterly unremarkable. If someone found it in the street they’d probably take it home and ask it to turn on the TV. Or make toast. The size of a four-slicer, it was just as disappointingly boring. ‘So where’s all the lava-lamp type effects?’ Zana grinned. ‘Don’t let its size or appearance fool you. If it decided to explode there would not be much left for a couple of miles around.’ ‘I had a coffee maker like that once.’ We took the elevator platform back upstairs. The day was almost done, and it had been a good one. I had enjoyed being the willing pupil, and Zana the equally-willing teacher. The ice of our cold war was showing signs of melting, but it was far from raising sea levels. Through the day there had been no lack of physical ; the

holding of hands, the warmth of occasional hugs, the touch of lips against lips had all been there, but still we were both stopping short of true intimacy. Not the sexual kind of intimacy... more the intimacy that two people in love express in ways others might not notice; the intimacy that should be there naturally, and is perhaps only obvious when it is missing. That precious intimacy would come in time, that much I knew. But when one of the people in a relationship was not exactly known for his patience, in time was likely too far away. We spent an enjoyable couple of hours discussing our remodeling plans over dinner, and then shared a long hug and went off to find sleep in our separate cabins. I was tired, the end of my training day making it clear sleep was the right option. But I had no intention of drifting into dreamland, not for a while. First there was something important to be done. And that would for sure involve intimacy of the sexual kind.

Chapter 3

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I took a shower, keeping myself busy, knowing Zana was likely doing the same. When the time came to go to her cabin I wanted her to be already in bed, hopefully relaxed and chilled enough to accept what I was going to make happen between us. But as the warm water cascaded over me, the blood began to cascade through my veins. I could almost see the heart beating its way out of my chest. What if she rejected me, told me sternly to go back to my cabin? That would be the one thing I would struggle to get over. Memories flooded through me of the night in London I took her suitcase back ... the cold look in her eyes, the monotones in her voice as she told me we were over... the fact both of those things had cut me to shreds. It wasn’t real, I knew that a couple of days later. But at the time it hurt, hurt bad. A stab of uncertainty added itself to the mess of emotions struggling for supremacy inside me. What if now isn’t the right time, and if instead of melting the remaining ice, it invokes a new ice age? There was no way to know. I was taking a chance, of the too-much-too-soon type. The one-false-move-andit’s-all-over kind. My hand drifted downwards, without me knowing. Until my fingers curled around right where it mattered, and sent pulses of sheer lightning through me. Too much, too soon? My fingers wouldn’t leave me, desperate to take me there and then, fly me over the summit all by themselves... just in case Zana left me standing at the foot of the mountain.

I cried out, fighting the urge to come like an express train, screaming at my own hand to stop violating me. It wasn’t working... it wouldn’t stay still, driving me higher, into the cloud layer, moments away from breaking through into the sunshine... Someone inside me wasn’t too impressed. A left hand grabbed my right hand, wrenched it away moments before it planted the flag. The sudden movement startled me, forced out a strangled cry of realisation that I’d almost spoilt what had the potential to be a perfect moment. A perfect moment that involved two people, not one. I thrust the temperature valve to cool, sank to my knees on the shower tray. Cool yourself down, you horny devil. It wasn’t easy; I could feel myself pulsing, wanting. Wanting her, not an out-of-control selfie. I literally crawled out of the shower, grabbed a towel and wrapped myself in its softness. My head didn’t seem to want to stop shaking, my sensible, morepatient self chastising my very impatient self for its lack of self-control. It was right, of course. I’d almost spoilt the joy of sharing, allowed my pent-up frustrations to take me to the top of the hill like I was on a solo climb. That I didn’t want. But it had made me realise something. I’d intended sharing intimacy with Zana as a way of breaking the ice of the cold war once and for all. That desire was still just as strong, but now there was something else in the mix. Now I needed to come... as hard as humanly possible. Please don’t send me away, Zana. I gave it a little longer than I’d originally intended before leaving my cabin. I had to. It took a while coming down from my almost-come, and getting my heart rate to a safe level. I could still feel my excitement pulsing away as I walked the few steps to the door of Zana’s cabin. Yet somehow my sexual excitement was more than just sexual... a whole myriad of emotions seemed to be centered just where it

mattered, just where they could do the most damage if rejection came to call. I was on fire, electric blue bolts of lightning spearing from my naked body, crackling into the darkness of the walkway, illuminating it like the fourth of July. That’s what it felt like anyway. As my shaking finger pressed the button, the door to her cabin hissed aside. And my heart stopped. In the almost darkness I could just see her, motionless in the tiny bunk, lying on her back, covered only from navel down. She didn’t speak, didn’t move. Was she asleep? I stood like a statue, forcing my heart to restart, waiting to see if her head turned slightly, praying for a word from her lips to encourage me to move towards her. None came. We were both silent statues. My eyes could see nothing but her. In the faint starlight drifting through the tiny window, in my mind her every feature was as clear as day. Her beautiful eyes were closed, her slender hands motionless, laid either side of her. Her shallow breathing was emphasised by the slight rise and fall of her perfect breasts, the delicate shadows cast by the starlight tantalizing every emotion I possessed. But then something unexpected happened. In the moments I stood silently watching, a sudden and overwhelming peace filled my soul. And in that moment, I knew what true love really was. My legs were made of rocks, but finally the need to be close to her forced them to move, and take slow, uncertain steps towards the bunk. Then I was standing next to her, gazing down on her silent form, captivated by the sheer power of a love that was fogging out everything else. Slowly I sat on the edge of the bunk, tried to keep the shake from my hand as I slipped it into hers and lifted it slowly to my lips. It felt warm, the faint texture of the dapples on her skin so delicious, so soothing. Softly I kissed her long fingers, just as she opened her eyes.

‘I am glad you came, Gerard,’ she whispered.

Chapter 4

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Her simple words choked me. Suddenly the slight smile on her face blurred into a haze as my eyes misted up. For a moment I couldn’t reply, the sheer relief that she’d been waiting for me overcoming everything except the joy it had speared into my heart. I tried to smile away the mist. ‘I had to come,’ I whispered. Our eyes locked silently together as her hand slowly took mine to her lips. She kissed my fingers as I had done hers, but then eased them a little apart. A tiny sob I couldn’t stop broke the silence as her full, dark-red lips closed around my forefinger, sank down its length, and I felt her tongue curl deliciously around my fingertip, exploring every contour in the most perfect of ways. Slowly, so slowly she allowed her tongue to drift away, and her hand began to ease my finger from her. Her lips tight around it, they were all I could feel, all I wanted to feel right then, as millimeter by millimeter they made their journey to my fingertip, and were gone. I allowed my hand to drift delicately over her chin, curl over her jawbone, caress her long neck. She closed her eyes, rested her hand back by her side, but made no other movement. She was waiting for me again, driving me insane as I fought my impatient side, so determined to not rush what I knew would be the most perfect of times. I felt the slight shake in my hands as they drifted across her slender shoulders and found the slight rise of her collarbones. The faint texture of the dapples on her skin sent tingles of pure joy through my fingertips, fast-tracked straight to my heart. Still she was motionless, silent, wanting to be taken yet showing no sign of her pleasure.

It was the most erotic of moments, and yet not erotic at all. My body knew it too... Zana had done nothing but wrap her lips around my finger and lie motionless and naked before me, and yet parts of me were pulsing out a rhythm like the loudest steel band in the world. And I knew I couldn’t keep from dancing to the beat much longer. I felt my breath hitch as my fingertips curled gently around the curves of her breasts, travelled the road they had to travel to the dark peaks of her nipples, paused a moment to delight in their pucker. Her stomach tensed a little as my touch pulsed joy into her, the first involuntary sign that I was giving her pleasure. I knew then we were both tuned into the sheer eroticism of her motionless joy. I closed my eyes, wanting nothing to dissipate the sense of touch captivating my soul, feeling the tears of a hundred emotions roll silently down my cheeks, unable to stay in my eyes any longer. My hands rippled softly across the undulations of her stomach, found the delicious curve of her hips, lingered a moment before curling inwards. Then I needed to see, blinked away the mistiness, and glanced up to the mellow starlight drifting through the window, illuminating the perfect body before me in a ghostly yet beautiful light. I eased the covers down to Zana’s knees, exposing her toned, slender thighs which, like the rest of her, had stayed motionless, waiting for me to ignite the ion that would galvanise her into movement. I was her prisoner, free to leave but chained to her beauty. A willing captive, ordered to drive her to ecstasy without any words of command. My only shackles were the thumping of my heart, and the overwhelming need to fulfill her desire that right then was the most important thing in the universe. That, and the knowledge that fulfilling her was guaranteed to fulfill me too. I allowed my hands to part from her, even though I had to force them to do so. Still her eyes were closed, still she gave no indication of what she wanted me to do. We both knew there was no need. Slowly I leant closer to her, kissed her just above the knee. The scent of her

drifted into me, pulsed deliciously into my soul. My lips began their journey, a trail of tiny, silent kisses, zinging love and desire into our hearts as each one rose a little higher towards its destination. It was almost too much to bear, the impatience of a burning need close to overpowering the silent peace and tranquillity that filled my heart but no other part of me. Somehow I resisted, perhaps through sheer selfishness, unwilling for the precious feelings to erupt and die too soon. Her thighs were slightly apart, a tiny, tantalising space between her legs. My kisses drifted to the edge of her vee, my tongue sinking into the valley of her groin, lingering there, sliding closer to her button, and then moving away once more. Again I kissed her, soft, gentle touches of lips against skin, so close, so wanting to sink into her. Hands that knew what they needed curled around her hips, tightened their grip a little as my kisses moved closer, telling her silently their journey was almost over. Her breath hitched, involuntarily. Her muscles tensed, the tiniest of movement as she tried still to keep as motionless as possible. And my impatient side was screaming abuse at me, demanding to know what was going on. But the total, utter peace in my heart ignored it. My lips kissed her, a long, slow-motion kiss placed just above her sex, but low enough for my lower lip to caress the tip of her folds. Slowly I eased her legs further apart, exposing more of her. Again I kissed her, the tiniest bit lower, and then took my lips away, glanced up to her face. Her eyes were open, showing no emotion as they silently watched my every move. Her dark-red lips were slightly apart, her chest rising and falling more rapidly as she fought a harder and harder battle to stay still. Never in my life had I known anything so utterly erotic. I knew she was high, even without me touching her where it mattered. I knew I was high too... so unbelievably high... the insane thought crossing my mind that I could come without being touched at all. But the simmering pressure-cooker of our love was close to boiling point. We

were both trying to lift it from the flames, for different and similar reasons, but there had to be a point when it couldn’t be held up any more. And we were about to discover just where it was. I lowered my head, allowed my lips to gently sink full onto hers. My tongue sank deep into her, and then curled around her button. I couldn’t stifle it, a cry broke the silence as its incredible hardness told me just how high she was. And then, as our two live wires came together, the reaction was explosive. ‘Oh, Gerard...’ she screamed, suddenly a mass of moving parts, hands grabbing my head, forcing me hard into her, screaming again and again and then ripping me away from her, lifting her upper body from the bunk, pulling us close together and squeezing the breath from my body as my cries echoed hers. And then, almost without realising it, I was inside her, soft, gentle thrusts taking only seconds for us both to come, and turn our starlight world to blackness. In my misty, blurry world, I tried to wipe the gloss of tears away with my fingers in an idiotic kind of way, and let out a croaky ‘Sorry’. She eased me from her shoulder, and as our eyes met I knew instantly no apology was needed. She wiped away her tears, smiled beautifully. ‘Then I should apologise too.’ I kissed her trembling lips. ‘We don’t really need to apologise, do we?’ ‘No.’ She slipped her hands back around my waist, pulled us tight again, and then frowned. ‘But did you really get so high without me touching you?’ ‘Yes. But you did touch me, Zana. In a different way.’ She smiled as she lowered her head. ‘I am humbled. Please, lay beside me.’ I parted myself from her, and we lay side by side in the tiny bunk that really didn’t have the room for two bodies. I felt her hand twine around mine. ‘I tried so hard to stay still all the way... make it... erotic for you.’ ‘You failed dismally, in one way.’ She turned her head, looked at me curiously. ‘Which way?’

‘Staying still all the way. Other than that it was the most erotic joy I’ve ever known.’ ‘Now I am seriously humbled.’ She kissed me beautifully, turned on her side. ‘Please stay with me tonight? I don’t wish to sleep alone again.’ I spooned into her shape. ‘I don’t think my legs would make it to my cabin, even if I wanted them too.’ The words died away as we both came down from beautiful highs, made even more precious because of the unbreakable love that cocooned us. But there was one question I still had to ask before I fell asleep. ‘I’m curious... were you actually laying there waiting for me to come to you?’ She took a moment to answer. ‘Yes. If you hadn’t come tonight, I would have come to you tomorrow.’ I just had to kiss her one more time, and as our lips met, the most incredible warmth flooded through me, did its best to overwhelm me. And I let it, no longer feeling the need to check up the pure emotion dominating my heart and soul. I found myself whispering the words. ‘So there wasn’t really a cold war at all then?’ Her hand wrapped around mine, and pressed it tight to her waist. ‘Not really. I think we both just convinced ourselves there was.’ I drifted into peaceful sleep, metaphorically nodding to myself. Once again, Zana had hit the nail on the head with her words. But this time, I didn’t need to say anything.

Chapter 5

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Sunday 5th January ZANA HAS JUST EXTRICATED HERSELF from my arms and gone to make our morning coffee. And I have snuck back to my room to write down my thoughts in this brief entry, while the joy of our newfound closeness is still fresh in my mind. I feel elation, relief, all-encoming love. Relief because, as I recall the thumping of my uncertain heart as I walked the few steps to her cabin last night, I begin to realise less than half of me believed I was doing the right thing. The rest of me was in what-will-be-will-be mode. And if she had rejected me, all of me would have been in apocalypse mode. I feel elation because the sheer erotic sensuality of tearing down the imaginary wall between us was far from simply erotic. Far from just sexual. So many other emotions were present; emotions that can only be experienced by two people deeply in love. The all-powerful love I have just discovered I am one half of. Zana said she was humbled by the experience. Before her, I did not even know what humble meant. After her, and after the riptide of emotions from last night that shook my world to its core, I am the very essence of humble. ______ I made it back to Zana’s cabin a minute before she returned with the coffee. I

don’t know why, but somehow I didn’t want her to know I’d snuck off and written what I did. I would show her later of course... but for a reason I can’t explain, I hadn’t wanted her to see me write it. We tried our very best to sit up side by side and sip our coffees. It was hilariously impossible. After the third giggling spillage onto the covers of the tiny bunk, we gave it up and sat at the mess table instead. Zana looked at me with a feigned frustrated expression on her face. ‘Seems to me remodeling the bedroom can’t come soon enough.’ She made me laugh. ‘Look at you... all pouting schoolgirl because you couldn’t sit next to your best friend.’ ‘It’s not sitting that pisses me off,’ she growled, and then burst out laughing. ‘And I’ve just heard myself!’ ‘Don’t worry, kid.’ I patted her on the shoulder. ‘The janitor will see about sliding the desks together as soon as he’s scoffed his full English breakfast.’ She was pressing buttons on the autochef before I’d finished the sentence. The morning flew by. It seems when you’re removing bulkheads for the very best of reasons, time flies. Just as lunchtime approached, the two intrepid interior designers stood back and surveyed the space they’d created. We’d taken out two bulkheads, opening up three of the tiny cabins into one. Two of the miniature bunks had gone, the third still sitting against the sidewall, looking even more miniscule in the now somewhat bigger bedroom. Two of the modular shower / toilet compartments had also been removed, leaving the third standing up against the far sidewall. The new elongated outside wall now had three small windows in it, each offering a view of the stars flashing by. ‘I think we should put the double bed right in the centre,’ I said, a finger tapping my chin like all the best designers do. ‘Then the middle window will be right

over the bed, so when I’m kneeling up while you suck my cock, I’ll have a great view to look at.’ I waited for the response I’d deliberately baited. It came. ‘If that’s all you’re concerned about, then you can go suck your own cock.’ More giggles. Followed by a long hug. Followed by Zana grabbing one of the single mattresses sitting up against the wall. ‘Come on, grab another mattress and follow me to the basement. They’re made from something similar to memory foam, so with a little crafty hot glue I can weld two together... while you make the bed base.’ I dutifully grabbed the second mattress. ‘Yes, ma’am,’ I said pointedly. She narrowed her eyes. ‘You want to sleep solo, ever again?’ ‘No, ma’am,’ I answered, truthfully. She grinned, and then headed for one of the three doors our new bedroom now possessed. But then she stopped, cast her eyes thoughtfully to the far wall. I followed her gaze. ‘I can see the steam coming from your ears.’ ‘Huh?’ ‘Old human expression. It means I can see the cogs churning... that’s another old human expression. Penny for them? Oh, that’s anoth...’ ‘Yeah, I get the picture... hmm, is that yet another...’ ‘Just tell me what’s on your mind, please?’ ‘We’re gonna need a bigger shower!’ We transferred the mattresses to the basement, and then grabbed some lunch. As we ate we discussed phase two of the redevelopment, worked out how we could turn two tiny shower trays into one that was fit to grace the luxury bathroom of the penthouse at the Park Plaza.

But that would have to wait for another day. Zana was far too preoccupied right then, making absolutely sure we didn’t have to spend another night alone. She even offered to make a blind for the middle window, so I didn’t get too distracted while I should be otherwise occupied. I spent the afternoon using some of the super-tools to make a bed base, from the bulkhead materials that were now surplus. My thoughts turned again to my father, and how proud he would be of his son following in his footsteps, remodeling home interiors just as skillfully as he did. I didn’t really need much in the way of skills... once I’d worked out what they were capable of, the wonderful alien tools did most of it for me. It didn’t stop me wishing he was standing in the doorway, nodding his head in approval with his silly grin creasing his face, saying, ‘Go you, son,’ as only he could. But then it was Zana standing in the doorway, slightly breathlessly, with a double mattress in tow, grinning inanely and gasping out, ‘Is it ready yet?’ ‘One last weld,’ I said, my heart delighting in her impatient enthusiasm. ‘But you could have asked me for a hand with that.’ ‘What, and stop you working?’ We giggled like schoolchildren again, and I ran the final seam as she watched every move I made. And then she flopped the mattress onto my creation, stood back and nodded. ‘I bow to your prowess with a tape measure.’ It was a perfect fit. But then it occurred to me a bed was more than just a mattress on a base. ‘You do realize there’s no double bedclothes?’ ‘Ah... ok...’ She tapped a forefinger on her chin, deliberately mimicking my earlier actions. ‘Time to get the sewing machine out then!’ ‘Zana... it’s evening. Maybe do the tailoring tomorrow?’ She looked at me like a boss disgruntled with an employee for refusing overtime, but then grinned. ‘Guess we can make do for one night.’

We made do for one night. Both exhausted from our day of intense labour, as soon as we’d eaten a little food and allowed our digestive systems a short respite, I could see the weariness cloud Zana’s face. And I knew for certain she could see it in mine too. It didn’t stop her lamenting the need for sleep. ‘I so wish I could make love to you in our new penthouse.’ ‘No you don’t. That’s just your libido talking. What you really want to do is fall asleep in my arms, with enough space to actually do so.’ She let out a huge yawn. ‘You know me so well, darling.’ It was a little like sleeping in a building site. It didn’t matter. Neither of us cared, neither of us had much time to care. We threw a pile of single bedclothes onto our new bed, and then threw ourselves under their muddled warmth. Zana pressed herself as close to me as was humanly possible... quite an achievement considering she’s not human. Our lips met, a gentle kiss of pure, satisfied love. And that was as much as I ed. A deep, contented sleep swept away everything else, except the beautiful dream of the feel of her skin cocooned against mine.

Chapter 6

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Tuesday 2nd June ON THIS DAY, OUR JOURNEY INTO THE UNKNOWN is five months old. And as I write this, I do so having just looked back over all the entries I have written. I have surprised myself, for achieving something I wasn’t sure I would... being faithful to this log by documenting our journey and my innermost thoughts, never going more than two days between writing. And reading back through those entries, I have noticed the distinct change of tone in them. The words written in the first few days were fraught with uncertainty, full of the fear that the decision to go with Zana I took on the spur of the moment was one made in hope, not conviction. Discovering she felt a similar uncertainty led to the cold war that never was, and a new fear in us both of overstepping a mark that in reality didn’t exist. All of that changed the night I crept into her cabin, still unsure if I would be rejected. But the pure joy of what followed, and the realisation that our love was pure and unbreakable, altered the tone of the entries in this private log. It felt like the floodgates had been opened, the barrier holding back the torrent of our love cast away. And reading through my entries over the following two weeks, I can see now that without me knowing it, that changed me too. Working on our new penthouse was nothing less than pure joy. As the days ed and it became just the way we wanted it, it helped our relationship to be just the way we wanted it too. We were Zana’s two olives, speeding through

space in a tin can, and doing it in perfect harmony; two souls who could not possibly have come from more different backgrounds discovering just how undifferent we actually were. Day after day where nothing changed would have been a dangerous, impossible situation for some. For us, each one was a delight, bonding us closer and closer together as the light years flew by. I grew to love the fact we were alone, that no one else was there to diffuse the intensity that was us. We relied solely on ourselves, wanting or needing no others. Our tiny, silent world was ours alone, and we both came to appreciate there would never be a knock at the door, or a phone suddenly need answering. Either of those things would just be an intrusion on our intimate perfection. And so the words in this journal have changed too, reflecting the peace and tranquility of our world. Little is different as each day es, and yet I am never short of words to write, never afraid to talk openly to myself about my innermost feelings. How things... well, me, change. Tiri’s course has still not faltered. For twenty weeks she has travelled at full speed to an unknown destination. Yesterday I injected a slight note of concern, asking Zana if she thought her sister was heading for a rendezvous with another Calanduran mother-ship. The look in her eyes told me what I already suspected. If she was, and she made it before we could get to her, our long journey will have been in vain. And writing this last note of the day in my journal, I see that it is the only vaguely sour note written there for several months. Since the very first entries, the tone of my words, along with the tone of my blissful life, have changed beyond all recognition. ______ As I switched off the electronic journal, I could not have known that in the very near future the tone of my words was to change once more. But this time into something far more terrifying.

In less than twenty-four hours, our month of hell was to begin.

Chapter 7

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I heard the squeal from thirty metres away. It sounded like a delighted squeal, but I couldn’t be sure, so headed quickly back to Zana. We were spending the morning clearing out the garage. Or rather, in our intergalactic world, the lower level. Like many an Earthly garage, it had become somewhat cluttered with the remnants of our interior remodeling, a stack of old alloy bulkheads and redundant components effectively overcrowding an already crowded space. I’d just headed to the elevator platform to go make us coffee when the squeal stopped me in my tracks. An amused kind of curiosity rather than concern took me back to where Zana was holding something up for me to see, a cheeky smile on her face. ‘Look what I’ve just found!’ ‘It looks like a jellybean on steroids.’ She grinned. ‘Oh trust me, this will tickle more than our taste buds.’ I frowned a stare at the tiny object, swinging slightly on the super-thin wire she was holding between her fingers, like she was trying to hypnotise me. It did look like a jellybean on steroids; an inch and a half long, its diminutive kidney-shaped body seemed to shimmer between shades of pink and iridescent green. ‘Are you telling me it’s a...’ ‘I didn’t realise I’d still got it,’ she interrupted gleefully, swinging it a little harder in front of my eyes in a mesmerising kind of way. ‘I was just ripping out the drawers from my old cabinet, and there it was, hiding at the back!’

‘Are you telling me it’s a...’ ‘Oh Gerard, we can have some serious fun with this. I’m so happy.’ ‘So it is then.’ ‘Is what?’ ‘A Calanduran bullet.’ ‘A what?’ ‘On Earth we call them bullets, because of their shape. So I’m guessing by the silly grin on your face that despite the fact it looks like an overgrown kidney bean, that one kinda performs the same function?’ She laughed, a somehow incredibly sexy one. Or maybe it was just me. ‘Similar, perhaps. But this one has a few added ingredients, if you get me.’ I nodded slowly, the swinging bullet and the sexy grin on her face doing a very good job of taking me under. ‘Oh yeah, certain bits of me are getting you for sure.’ ‘Dirty boy,’ she whispered, in an overpoweringly sensual way. I think. Then she pressed a button on the little pad attached to the other end of the wire. ‘See what I mean?’ ‘It’s, um... changing shape,’ someone said. I think it was me. It was changing shape. Like something alive, the jellybean straightened out, grew to twice its size, heaved out its chest and then shrank back to its original size. And then ran through the cycle again. I watched, mesmerised, as the swinging, shape-shifting bullet took me away to Calanduran heaven... ‘Gerard...’ ‘Huh? Oh, sorry... off with the fairies then.’ ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to hypnotise you,’ she giggled, not sounding the least bit sorry.

Ripped away from my hypnosis, I suddenly discovered one or two other bits of me were still under a spell. Zana glanced curiously to me. ‘Weren’t you on your way to make coffee?’ she grinned. ‘Fuck coffee... I need a different kind of stimulant right now!’ ‘Oh my god...’ She was teasing me to insanity, cruelly tantalising my frustrated, naked body as I lay helpless on the bed. She was straddled across me on her knees, in complete control of my immediate future. My new Calanduran friend writhed its merry way around my cock, zinging it to a swollen hardness it had never known before. It wasn’t vibrating, it didn’t need to. The strange force emanating from it as it curved around my cock pulsed sheer delight into every fibre of me, exploring my outer reaches, and then striding to the tip of my nebula, twisting and gyrating the dark star of my sex to the very point of implosion... And then she took it away. I think she whispered something about it being far too soon to become a black hole. I think I swore at her unfeeling cruelty, and was then forced to watch as the photon torpedo that had been mine changed course to another solar system. My eyes followed its wake, mesmerised, unable to look away as it reached its destination, and the pink and green glow disappeared, reappeared, and disappeared again. My body seemed to be matching its trajectory, my cock involuntarily rising and falling in time with Zana’s gentle hand motion. Her face lifted to the ceiling as she cried out her ecstasy, the sound thundering through my high, sending lightning bolts of frustration and joy straight to my molten core. And then her head lowered, and our eyes locked together. She leant over me, our faces a foot apart, and gasped out the words. ‘Are you ready for more, Gerard?’ I couldn’t risk speaking, hell only knows what weird strangled noises would

have emanated from my gob. I think I gave her a faint nod, but I knew for sure I grasped her arms, pulled her to me and sank my trembling lips onto hers. As we kissed, her body melted over mine, and we were two supernovas blending into one mega-nova. And then she switched it up. Her body lifted slightly, and I felt her hand fumble with the control pad. And then my rocket was where it truly belonged, blasting its way into the space that was her. I gasped out a garbled realisation that its mission was no longer a solo flight. As it shimmered and twisted inside her and around my rocket, Zana’s lips met mine again, a thunderous clap of love attacking every sense I possessed. My galactic angels were striking from every direction, taking no prisoners, giving no quarter. Her lips sank slowly across my surface, kissing my chest, pulsing ecstasy into me as her ally pulsed sheer joy around me. They were flanking me, closing in on my control centre, surrounding me in an inescapable pincer movement. Hands that seemed to have a mind of their own closed around Zana’s head, fingers that knew what they wanted caressed the soft ridge on her skull, so sensual, so beautiful. Still her kisses sank lower, still I cried out whispered pleas to make the agony stop in the most perfect way possible. Still she ignored me, still she was determined to deal out her heartless cruelty. But then, suddenly, she was cruel no more. The evasive maneuvers of her lips and her starship were evading no longer. For the tiniest moment, just before my rocket reached the upper atmosphere, she was sitting still on me. The heavenly object sharing our space was suddenly as still as her. I felt it drift to my outer reaches again, cried out in frustration once more. So close to reaching deep space... My frantic, desperate call was unnecessary. In one slow, seamless movement, Zana and her ally were all moving parts again, as they both curled erotically around my firing button.

Seconds. Two, maybe three. I imploded, screaming out my joy and my relief so loudly I would have shattered Zana’s eardrums had her head been next to mine. Still my catastrophic event blasted on and on, my fallout rippling through the whole universe, taking out a few solar systems on its way. And then finally Zana showed me some mercy, and collapsed over me, sending my spent rocket back to the surface with a silent, peaceful parachute drop. Then she fell flat to the bed beside me, her breath matching my faltering hitches, her hand curling around mine. Neither of us spoke or moved anything that didn’t need moving for an age. But then I saw her head turn to me, and caught the smile on her face. ‘So what do you think of our new toy?’ she said softly. I managed to shake my head, somehow. ‘Let’s just say I’ve finally discovered where infinity and beyond is.’

Chapter 8

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We fell into bed quite early that evening. The exertions of clearing out the garage, followed by the exertions brought on by what Zana found there, had taken their toll. We lay side by side, the starlight drifting through the windows, and the mellow peace of utter togetherness enveloping us both in a mist of silent tranquility. No words were needed, they would only have served to puncture the perfect ambience. And anyway, I’d already had a moan at her for her heartless cruelty earlier, to which she’d replied with a silly giggle that ended with us both crea. But I had to it to being eternally grateful Calanduran women didn’t just rely on their men for sexual satisfaction. Our journey through the galaxy, and our blissful togetherness, had just got that little bit more... exciting. Little did I know, the joy wasn’t to last. I leant over, kissed her gently, and told her I loved her. Beautiful sleep was taking me away, and I just had to say it once more, while I still could. She turned on her side, taking my hand with her, wrapping it around her waist. I snuggled into her shape, but it was the last thing I ed. Sleep wasn’t going to wait around any longer. I was snatched away from mellow dreams by a sound I hadn’t heard before. Some kind of alarm was going off. Zana’s sudden movement wrenched away the last remnants of sleep. ‘What’s happening?’ I asked, a slight tremble in my voice.

She was already out of bed, throwing on a pair of shorts. ‘Something’s changed,’ she said grimly, and ran through the door. I followed her to the bridge, to find her standing motionless, staring through the windows. As my gaze followed hers I came to a standstill too, just about managing to slip a hand into hers. The most incredible sight I’d ever seen kind of took away the power of everything else. It had gone cloudy. Kind of. Filling our entire vision, a weird mass of what looked like blue smoke billowing in slow-motion had replaced the stars. A little way ahead of us still, the sensors had detected it, and slowed the shuttle to walking pace. It seemed to be alive. Tentacles of darker blue unfurled themselves from its mass; creepy, ever-changing funnels drifted upwards before dying away to nothing, only to be replaced by others. The storm of cloud was never still, folds of blue mist rolling over each other like a super slow-mo of a tsunami wave. Somewhere deeper inside it I could see a brighter glow, a pulsing rhythm of light that may have been its epicenter. It was mesmerisingly beautiful. In a scary, menacing way. ‘Zana, what is it?’ I asked, the fear in my heart coming through in my voice. She turned to look at me, and I saw the same fear in her eyes, which sent a stab of dismay through me. ‘I’ve no idea,’ she whispered. She’d travelled thousands of light years on the Calanduran mother-ship to reach Earth. The Calandurans themselves had been exploring space for a century or two. Zana had an unprecedented knowledge of vast areas of the universe, and the incredibly beautiful and dangerous sights that lay there. And she had no idea what we were looking at. It wasn’t a good sign. In truth, it was a very bad sign. I tried to offer a little of my miniscule rookie knowledge to help. ‘Maybe some new kind of supernova... or crazy-size dust cloud?’

Finally she moved, sat at the navigation console and began pressing squares of light. ‘Perhaps. But it is behaving like neither. I’m just seeing what the long range sensors...’ The words trailed away. ‘Zana..?’ She looked up to me with a new fear in her eyes. ‘It appears it will take us a full month to reach the far side of... whatever it is. The readings indicate high levels of neutronic radiation. Traversing it at full speed will destroy the ship.’ ‘But... Tiri...’ Suddenly a cold sweat racked its way through my soul. Zana went back to the squares of light. Then I saw her head lower. I put a hand on her shoulder; partly to steady myself, partly because it seemed like she really needed it. ‘What is it, hun?’ A hundred emotions cracked her voice as she answered. ‘She is close. Inside the cloud.’ ‘How close?’ ‘A thousand kilometers. At full speed, less than thirty seconds away.’ ‘Yeah, that’s close. I can almost feel her evil.’ ‘As can I. But anything near full speed is no longer an option. In reality she is still as far away as ever.’ My eyes glanced furtively at the menacing blue cloud that seemed to have grown larger. ‘I guess there’s no option but to go in after her? I’m assuming it’s far too big to go round?’ She nodded, still trying to get more readings. ‘Something in its composition is confusing the sensors, I cannot get accurate indications of its size. But suffice it to say it is very, very big... and the fact my sister has opted to fly directly through it tells us she has come to the same conclusion.’ ‘And Tiri is no fool.’ ‘Indeed.’

She suddenly stood up, and pulled me into her. As I held her close I could feel her body shaking. ‘Zana, what is it?’ She placed trembling hands on my cheeks, eased our faces apart. Silent tears rolled slowly down her face. ‘There is one other option, Gerard.’ For a moment I gazed into her sad, frightened eyes. And I knew exactly what she meant. ‘No. No way... no way are we turning back after coming this far. Is that what you want?’ She moved away from me, leant her hands on the console like she needed its . ‘Of course not. But I am fearful of this phenomenon, for reasons I do not yet understand. Because of that, I cannot ask you to risk your life.’ I reached out, turned her to face me. ‘Isn’t that what I’ve been doing for the last five months? What we’ve both been doing? From where I’m standing, heading off into the unknown chasing an evil bitch who will stop at nothing to get what she wants is for sure risking your life on a daily basis. I’m not going to let a bit of cloud stop us now.’ She leant herself into me, whispered in my ear words that sounded like thunder. ‘I think there may be more to it than just a bit of cloud, Gerard.’ ‘So what? Tiri’s going for it, so we have to as well.’ She kissed me beautifully. ‘Thank you.’ ‘Don’t thank me. I want endgame for Tiri just as much as you. Maybe even more, after what she tried to do to us.’ I headed to the mess to make us mega-strong coffees to steady the nerves. The cloud on the horizon seemed to be giving us both the jitters. But as the brewer started to spit hot liquid into the metal mugs, I couldn’t help noticing the heart in my chest beating harder than it should. Maybe my subconscious knew more than my brave words would suggest. Maybe those brave words were actually foolhardy ones. And maybe for the first time on our journey we truly were heading into the unknown. But terrifying or not, it had to be. Whether the near future was endgame for Tiri

or endgame for us all, there really was no other option.

Chapter 9

Wednesday 3rd June ON THIS NIGHT WE ARE SLEEPING SEPARATELY once more. But it is not by choice. As we draw close to entering the mysterious cloud, at “an agonisingly-slow speed” to use Zana’s words, she has suggested one of us remain awake as all times. And if she hadn’t said it first, I was going to. We cannot go any faster. It is crucial we match Tiri’s speed, and as she is already inside the cloud and travelling slowly, it is essential we do the same. Getting any closer to her would risk detection... and if we both make it through this blue menace, she will then know we are on her trail. One of the only weapons we have is the element of surprise, and we cannot risk giving that away. As I write this, I glance down to Zana, sleeping beside me. It is two hours into my four-hour watch, and I have left the bridge for a few minutes to slip into bed beside her and make this entry. This time I write these words using the keypad rather than speaking into the journal. I do not want the sound of my voice to disturb her. She is already disturbed enough. As I gaze at her I am reminded of our time in the hotel in Norfolk, when we left the nightmare behind for a weekend, and made precious memories that we believed back then would be our last. I recall the few stolen minutes when I watched her sleeping, feeling the mellow joy of a warmth I’d never known before flood beautifully through my soul. A warmth my inexperienced heart could not then understand, but that rapidly became true, all-encoming love. When I watched her sleeping back then, in what feels now like another lifetime, she looked so peaceful, so serene. Her silent, motionless sleep brought an

unexpected peace to my heart, even though I’d known that a few hours later I would shatter the perfect illusion by telling her the truth about who, and what I was. But now as I watch her sleep, there is no peace in my heart. In some ways we are in a similar scenario, stealing a little calm and tranquillity before the storm we both know is coming. But this time she does not sleep peacefully; my heart bleeds for her as she murmurs her fear in incomprehensible words. Her eyelids flicker as REM tries to keep her from true sleep, and her body is rarely still. She is asleep, I know. But for her it is little better than being awake. And the fear of the unknown that racks her mind and numbs her soul filters into me, just as all her joy and her pain will forever do. In a few short hours we will enter the cloud. And I am terrified. ______ It was time for us to swap chairs. I left the bridge, touched Zana on the shoulder to wake her. It was like I’d tasered her. In a millisecond she was bolt upright, wild eyes glancing furtively around the room, an open mouth sucking in a sharp lungful of air. ‘Hey, it’s ok... just time for a change of watch,’ I said softly. She pulled us together, and I could feel the shaking of her body as I gently kissed her. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘Nothing has happened then?’ ‘No, so just relax. We’re a lot closer to our tsunami cloud though, so I don’t think it will be too much longer until we need the fog lights.’ She smiled, climbed out of bed. ‘I love the way you say things, Gerard.’ ‘Yeah well, I love to make you smile.’ She came to me, wrapped arms around my shoulders. ‘You do make me smile, in

all kinds of different ways.’

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We shared a coffee together, and then I got my marching orders. I gave Zana the log so she could read my new entry, and snuggled under the covers. It was hardly snuggly. I’d taken a last look through the bridge windows at the menace looming large, and it had filled me with a dull ache of dread. The look in Zana’s eyes did nothing to dissipate the fear either. A seasoned space traveller, she was just as petrified as her unseasoned rookie companion. Sleep wasn’t going to be easy. That was likely an understatement. Sleep may well be impossible. At some point in my four-hour R & R we would enter the cloud, and if any thought had the power to keep me awake, it was that one. I lay back, closed my eyes, and pulled the covers right over my head to shut out the starlight. And that brought back more bad memories. Pretending to be the little boy afraid of the bogeyman made it all worse. In moments I was back in our little terraced house in East London, back to six year old Gerard and the first few awful weeks after my mother walked away. Back to the little boy who had not just seen his world ripped apart, but was also watching his father fall apart. Big time. Good man as he was, his emotional turmoil spilled out in ways he couldn’t help. Heartbreak, anger, betrayal... he did his best to not let those things control him, but on the rare occasions it all got too much, little Gerard felt the force of his despair. After a while he won the battle to cope, but for a time, pulling the covers over my head helped me pretend things weren’t as bad as they were. But even at that age, I somehow recognised the unspoken fears lurking behind the obvious ones.

The fear of the unknown was terrifying him. And terrifying little me too. Going forward into a life neither of us had any experience of seemed like an impossible task. Yet we made it. And we both became the stronger because of it. But it was the first nail in the coffin that buried my emotions. Watching my father fall apart over love made me determined I would never suffer from the same affliction. How things change. Or don’t. Now, thirty years later, I am once again in my bed with the covers over my head, terrified of an unknown future I have no experience of. Somehow I fell into a fitful sleep. I had no memory of drifting off, no idea how long I’d been out. All I knew was the sound of Zana’s urgent cry, which as I forced consciousness to return, I realised was a scream. It was followed by another. ‘Gerard, please come...’ I stumbled out of the bed, ran to the bridge. My fitful sleep and ragged dreams weren’t helping; as I reached the bridge my vision was fogged, and I was struggling to see clearly. But as I rubbed my eyes with my fists to find clear vision, the full horror hit me. There was nothing wrong with my sight. Zana was standing motionless at the navigation console, wide eyes staring in disbelief at the cloud. Not the one through the windows. The one on the bridge. My vision wasn’t foggy. The bridge was. Billowing across the floor in super slow motion, like the effect from a smoke machine, a blue mist was turning everything hazy. Somehow I found words. ‘Um... I know I’m a rookie olive in this tin can, but is this supposed to happen?’ My voice seemed to break Zana’s trance. Slowly, her frightened eyes turned to

lock onto mine, and her husky, faltering words confirmed the dread I was trying to dissipate was all too horrifyingly real. ‘No, it is not supposed to happen. It is impossible.’

Chapter 10

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‘It’s not impossible, Zana. It’s happening, right in front of our eyes.’ ‘It can’t be happening...’ Still she was trying to convince herself the impossible wasn’t possible. Even though it clearly was. Her unblinking eyes drifted back to the ominous blue mist, still crawling its way across the bridge floor. One of us had to do something. ‘Um... captain sir... shouldn’t we scan it or something? See if it’s about to eat us alive?’ The urgency in my tone seemed to snap her out of the hypnotic trance she’d slipped into. ‘Oh... good idea. Gerard, please fetch a hand scanner from the medical room?’ I didn’t need to be asked twice. In thirty seconds the device was in her trembling hands, and mine were around hers to help steady them so she could actually switch the thing on. ‘Hey, it’s just mist... I hope.’ Maybe I shouldn’t have said the last bit. She looked at me with narrowed eyes, but then pointed the scanner at the blue menace getting scarily close to our feet. She shook her head in a despairing way, and my heart sank in a desolate way. ‘It’s reading low levels of neutronic radiation, but nothing else.’ ‘I guess by your expression that’s not so good then?’ She looked up to me, the pain in her eyes almost pleading for an explanation. ‘There has to be other things in its make-up... but the scanner isn’t recognising any of them.’

‘So it’s a total mystery then, something you’ve never come across before. And a first for humankind. And Calanduran-kind. Ok, maybe a second for you, because your sister is up ahead and must already be dealing with whatever it is. And...’ ‘Gerard...’ She put a hand on my arm. ‘Please stop babbling. This is serious.’ I threw her a knowing smile. ‘Sure. But my babbling pulled you out of your trance of utter disbelief, right?’ Finally she smiled back. ‘Yes. Now all I can think about is how verbally incontinent you are.’ ‘Good. And now let me shut up and find out if this stuff is going to do us any harm.’ ‘How are you going to do that?’ The cloud was about to reach us, its slow, rolling march across the bridge floor inches from our feet. There really wasn’t any choice. ‘There’s a human expression about dipping a toe into the water...’ ‘Gerard, no...’ Zana’s cry came too late. I would have ignored it anyway. I dipped my toe in the water. Actually it was a whole foot in the cloud, but unlike another human expression, I didn’t put my foot in it. I lifted it back out, exactly the same as when I’d put it in. Not even a tingle. It was just cloud. Ok, cloud that rolls around like a slow-mo tsunami wave and moves through solid walls... but right then it didn’t seem to be the menace we were both expecting. ‘See, I still have a foot.’ ‘You’re crazy.’ ‘Only when there’s no other choice. It was going to roll over us whether we liked it or not.’

‘You’re still crazy.’ As one, we lifted our eyes and panned them around. The smoke-effect cloud had just about covered the bridge, most of it sitting half a metre or so above the floor, just the occasional gently-swirling funnel drifting higher, like hazy tentacles exploring their new home. Its serene, unhurried age into our private life was almost mesmerising... a lumbering gentle giant we could do nothing to stop, bringing me a strange, unnerving feeling it was alive, sentient. It was like someone had come to call, silently sneaking through an open window into our reclusive world. An uninvited guest we couldn’t ask to leave, making itself comfortable, telling us it would be gone in a month’s time, and that we’d just have to put up with it until then. But as I watched its relentless progress through into the walkway, I couldn’t help thinking that as harmless as it seemed, it was making itself at home for a reason. I tried to lighten the situation, not that I felt much like it. ‘Can’t we just switch on the extractor or something?’ Zana surprised me by nodding at the throw-away comment I thought was nonsense. ‘We could vent it out, but that would be pointless if you think about it.’ It was my turn to nod. ‘A month’s-worth of this... extracting a ship-full of it would last about five seconds I guess.’ ‘Yes. However it is getting through the hull, it would just keep coming as long as we’re in the cloud.’ I had a thought. A really sensible one. ‘The bio-alloy the ship is made from. I you saying you’d never come across any other race who’d invented something similar. It was unique to Calandura. Maybe this... whatever it is, has some kind of similar genetic make-up that... talks to the alloy?’ She smiled at my sudden rush of intelligence, took my hand. ‘You could be right. Perhaps it has made friends with the doorman, persuaded him to let it in.’

‘That’s a scary thought though, Zana.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because if the ship and the mist are best buddies now, and one of them isn’t telling the truth about why it’s here, it’s going to be even harder to fight if it turns hostile.’ I felt her hand squeeze mine, and the nervous tremble in it. ‘I am uncomfortable, Gerard. Is there not another human expression, know your enemy? We know absolutely nothing about this foe, other than the fact it is our houseguest for the next four weeks.’ The hours ed, slowly, uneventfully. Our houseguest infiltrated every part of the ship, its silent but obvious presence unavoidable. As a fact-finding exercise we’d retreated to the bolt-hole of our bedroom, sealed the doors and watched. And discovered my theory could well be true. The strange mist filtered through the alloy like it wasn’t even there. Our particular Johnny didn’t need anything as crude as an axe. For a while we lay together under the covers, holding each other tight, coming to with the fact our twosome had become a threesome, and our new family member could well grow up with a triple-six on its head. Neither of us voiced the thought, but we both knew we were feeling the same fear. The woman I loved was a strong woman, possessing an almost-fearless spirit that had seen her through peril and adversity, and brought her out the other side in one piece. But the blue mist had found her weak spot. When faced with an unknown menace, one her vast knowledge could not explain or understand, she was vulnerable. For me, my recent past had thrown so many things in my face I struggled to explain or understand, our new travelling companion was just the latest in a long line. And somehow, despite being shoved into more physical and emotional turmoil than a body should be able to cope with, I too was still standing. Perhaps, in that particular instance, I was better able to cope than Zana. Our very

near future was likely to test that theory to its limits, but the one certainty was that I had to do everything I could to share my strength with her. She was the one who taught my once-selfish psyche to share. Now, those learned lessons were going to be more important than ever. After an hour sharing the comfort of our closeness, Zana sprang into action. She programmed the ship’s computer to monitor our guest at all times, and warn us if he decided to make a move. Again we scanned the mist that had now cocooned the entire ship, modifying the scanning frequency several times to try and help it recognise its make-up. It was futile. The guest whose presence dominated every room he was in, remained just as much of a mystery as ever. And once again we agreed sleeping at the same time was a bad idea. If we had, I doubted Zana would have found sleep anyway; despite programming the computer to warn us of any change in the situation, she was all too aware that the mist in our midst could well have the ability to do something nasty the computer wouldn’t pick up. With one of us on guard duty at all times, we might at least get a little desperately-needed sleep. Late in the evening I packed her off to bed. She protested of course, clinging on to me to the last possible moment, making me promise that in four hours we would swap chairs again. I made her smile by tucking her up like a little girl, asking if she wanted a bedtime story. She retorted by telling me it would have to be the best-ever version of Cinderella to be of any use. Creepy round-the-campfire tales were definitely off the table. I told her daddy wouldn’t let the bogeyman come, and left her to sleep. Sitting on the bridge, I found myself starting up a crazy one-sided conversation. ‘So, my uninvited friend, it seems you’re the type who never knows when to go home, huh?’ He didn’t reply, not in words anyway. It was probably just my half-insane imagination, but a couple of funnels of swirling mist seemed to rise from its

thicker bottom layer and curl into the air, like it was acknowledging the fact I’d spoken. ‘Not the talkative type either, I see.’ Clearly he wasn’t. I stuck my feet on the console, panned my eyes around the bridge in a deliberately nonchalant way, hoping he’d notice I wasn’t the slightest bit scared of him. Yeah, right. The mist was mostly confined to a half-metre cloud on the floor, like some kind of spooky Hollywood special effect. It was never still, gently folding in and out of itself like it was being slowly stirred by an invisible ladle. I shuddered momentarily, an image ripping into my head of a witch’s cauldron and its creepy contents simmering away ominously. Somehow I wrenched it away, before it seeped too far into my soul and lived there forever. Rising from its base, every few seconds a funnel of darker blue would form, swirling its circular motions into the air, and then wisping away to nothing. For a few minutes I watched their slow-motion dance, trying to see if there was any rhyme or reason for their presence, understand why the funnels were forming. There didn’t seem to be any. Just random events, occurring for no apparent reason. But the dull ache in my gut told me they were anything but random, and anything but pointless. Then I noticed something I didn’t think had been there before. When we first tried to work out who our new friend was, he’d confined his presence to the floor. Now, as I panned my eyes around the bridge, there seemed to be a faint mistiness about the whole room. Maybe I’d been concentrating so much on the floor, I’d just not noticed. Maybe it really was getting foggier. I glanced at my watch, shocked myself as I realised I’d been ing the time of

day with my new friend for over two hours. I’d promised myself to look in on Zana once in a while, check she had found sleep. I apologised to my roommate for stepping on his toes, padded my way to the bedroom and pressed the door open button. As it slid aside, I knew my suspicion was correct. It was getting foggier. The bedroom was hazy, a faint night-time mist making it a little harder to see clearly. I took a few steps inside the room, my gaze locked onto the bed. I could see clearer then. I could see Zana wasn’t there. As my heart stopped, my sensible brain pointed my eyes to the en suite. The door was open, no lights on. I ran over, glanced inside in case she’d not bothered to switch on the light. It was as empty as the bed. My scream of terror echoed around the walls, muffled and fuzzed by the incessant mist. I ran from the bedroom, legs that felt like concrete staggering to every door, desperate arms stabbing frantically at the open buttons to see if she was inside. And as each door revealed nothing, and the tears of dread streamed down my face, the awful truth I was refusing to accept thumped its horror into my soul. I searched every inch of the ship. Every cupboard, every vague hiding place, knowing the last thing she would do was hide from me. In the tool shed I grabbed a short length of light alloy, and retraced my steps to the bridge, flailing insanely at the thick mist around my legs, a last vain hope our houseguest had rendered her unconscious and was hiding her in his folds. He wasn’t. I slumped into the pilot’s chair, screamed my desolation at the blueness all around me, and then buried my face in hands that felt like they would never stop shaking again. Zana was gone, taken away. And for the first time in my life, I was truly alone.

Chapter 11

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Friday 5th June AS I WRITE THIS, IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING. That is what my watch tells me. If not for that, I would have no idea. For the last few hours there has been no time, no light and shade, no night and day. Time is standing still, as the numbness of my situation fights a hazy battle with my refusal to accept what is not staring me in the face. There is no Zana by my side. I am alone. Totally, terrifyingly alone. She has been taken from me, and I have no idea if she is gone forever, or alive and imprisoned somewhere I cannot comprehend. And I am lost. Not just emotionally, but in the truest sense of lost. Cocooned in a ship I am barely able to fly, thousands of light years from home, trapped in a phenomenon that defies the laws of the universe, I doubt if any human being could be more lost. Already solitude is my enemy. It claws at my sanity, gnaws into my soul. My wretchedness cries out for a hand to hold, for the voice I love to whisper in my ear, and tell me all will be well. But there is no guiding hand, no soothing voice to reassure me. My silent tomb is the epitome of finality. The very soul of loneliness. And only seven hours have ed since she has been gone. I have screamed my rage and my desolation at the blue mist, the mysterious enemy who laughs silently back at me, and grins invisibly in his delight as he

watches me fall apart. For sure he is responsible for my solitude, my emptiness. And I can feel his insidious joy, burning a cancer of hopelessness into my heart, which grows bigger and more terminal with each ing hour. I have shown him my anger and my hatred, made sure he knows his actions have made us mortal foes. But as my crazed anguish faded to quiet despair, and my helplessness was accepted by my heart, a strange calm enveloped me. I have nothing left to live for. But there is one thing left to die for. If I can survive the journey through the cloud, I am more determined than ever Tiri will die at my hands. Even though it will almost certainly mean my own death. Zana has been taken from me, but it will not be in vain. Her determination that her evil sister will perish lives on through me. I will not let you down, Zana. Along with the calm after my storm of futile anger, came an overwhelming exhaustion. A half-hour ago my leaden body made it into the bed, and as I forced eyes that tried their best to close to stay open, I have dictated this entry in the log. The journal that is now my only friend in the universe. Zana, perhaps you still exist, somewhere I cannot go nor have any hope of reaching. But you are not in my little world, and I have to find a way to accept you no longer will be. It will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But I must be successful, in order to complete the mission you were so committed to making. My eyes are closed, and so I must also close the journal. Perhaps exhaustion is my temporary friend, because without it I would surely not find the sleep I so desperately need... ______ Something jarred my fitful sleep away. But my exhaustion wasn’t satisfied, and as I fought the desire to drift away again, in my half-awake state a thousand recent memories jumbled themselves into a mess of confusion. Something had woken me. And if four years of Afghanistan horrors had taught me anything, it was to listen to the subconscious warning to rip away sleep if it

became necessary. Slowly I opened my eyes. I was lying on my side, in the fetal position, facing outwards. All was silent. The starlight drifting through the tiny window above me bathed the room in a warm, welcoming glow. Still trying to force my brain to cast away the confusion of sleep, I felt warm, cozy. All was just as it should be. As it should be. But not as it was. The blue mist had gone. As realisation thumped into my brain, my body instinctively turned onto its back so I could see the whole room. The whole room was cloud-free. My head began to pound a rhythm, matching the drum beat of my heart, forcing my eyes to close again for a moment as the sheer effort of panning the room and seeing no cloud was almost too much. But my weary, sleep-filled eyes had focused only on what wasn’t there, not anything else. As my hand rubbed the fogginess away and my arm fell back to my side, it touched something. Warm, naked skin. Disbelieving eyes flicked to the right. The drumbeat of my heart hit an all-time high. She was there, sleeping soundly by my side, facing away. ‘Zana...’ My whisper was a croak. My hand reached out to curl around her waist, just as her head started to turn towards me. And a stab of uncertainty froze me to a statue. She felt different, the dapples on her skin slightly more coarse, the curve of her hips a little more pronounced. And even before she spoke, I knew. ‘Hello again, Gerard.’

Chapter 12

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An electric shock sliced through my body, blew me out of the bed and up against the far wall. None of me would keep still, shockwaves of disbelief racking my body and my mind, forcing my lips to stammer out inane words it didn’t seem it was me speaking. ‘You... how... this isn’t possible...’ She didn’t appear to be suffering from the same mental disabilities as me, slipped gracefully out of the bed and walked slowly towards me. She was naked, confident, her bare footsteps thundering a metronomic, menacing rhythm into my ears as she drew closer. ‘Gerard, why are you being like this, after we have just shared such beautiful lovemaking?’ Her eyes were locked into mine, the smile on her face the same fragile mix of warmth and ice it had always been. And as I cowered against the wall, unable to look away from her unreadable eyes, she reached out an elegant hand and sent another stab of electricity through me as she slipped a finger through my hair. ‘Such beautiful hair... I am grateful you grew it again, just for me.’ My head seemed to be shaking from side to side, a crazed, involuntary action I couldn’t stop. ‘I grew it for Zana, not you...’ For a moment the warmth faded, the glaciers were back. Then she smiled again, turned away. ‘And where is my dear sister now, Gerard?’ My mind was a mess of confusion, my thoughts racing to nowhere. But somewhere in the swamp of delirium I once called a brain, a sentient thought found its way to the surface. I tried to speak calmly, but something inside me

wasn’t listening. The words came out as a crazy scream. ‘You... it was you... took her away from me...’ She turned to face me, and a look of feigned shock pierced through me. Or maybe it wasn’t feigned. It was getting harder to tell. She waved an arm around the room. ‘Gerard, you are delirious. Zana has gone, ?’ She sighed, cast vacant eyes to the ceiling. ‘I know it was a surprise to us both she walked away, gave you to me. But isn’t there a human expression, strange things happen in love and war?’ ‘Leave humanity out of this, Tiri.’ She was back in front of me, staring her sassy menace down to me as I crouched against the wall like the prey about to be devoured. And the warm smile was back. ‘Oh, I have left humanity behind, Gerard. Well behind. Except for one human. It’s just you and me now... as it has been for weeks.’ ‘Weeks?’ She lifted me to my feet. This time without electric shocks. Or maybe I was just too numb to notice. My brain had shut down, my failsafe cutting in to stop me going totally insane. As she led me back to the bed, I was a helpless submissive. ‘Come Gerard, rest awhile. I will leave you in peace, and go to make sure we are still on the correct course after the phenomenon.’ ‘Course... to where?’ She leant over, ran gentle fingers through my hair, and covered me over. ‘You really are confused, aren’t you? The course to the mother ship... we discussed this a long time ago.’ I looked at her smiling eyes, my whole being wasted, my spirit somewhere on another planet. ‘We’re going to the mother ship.’ I think I smiled, hell only knows why. ‘Of course... they have found a suitable home, where I will rule and you and I

will be one. I am so happy, Gerard.’ She was gone. And I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling with eyes that weren’t seeing a single thing. I couldn’t seem to feel a single thing either. Every emotion I possessed had shut down, protecting me from permanent meltdown. I owned nothing except miniature flashes of sentient thought. Tiri said “after the phenomenon”, so we must have been through it and come out the other side. But somehow things weren’t the same. Like my travelling companion. Or was it my mind, battling with confusion it couldn’t handle? Weeks? When did things change? Did they change? It was too much. Overload wanted to take me away to dreamland once more, and I blacked out. I think. The black turned to grey. Slowly, I could feel myself again. I still seemed to have a body, warm, cocooned in the softness of what felt like a bed. I could hear nothing except the faint hum of the power core. A hand that didn’t feel like it was mine eased slowly across the mattress, felt nothing except the bedclothes. I was alone. Tiri wasn’t there. Tiri? What was I saying... thinking? How... The shock of the impossible thought that had seemed perfectly possible forced my eyes to open. Still nothing else of me moved, as my furtive, uncertain gaze panned around the room. Nothing seemed out of place. Three doors, three small windows allowing the starlight to pool a ghostly light across the floor and illuminate the room Zana and me had made.

Zana? Suddenly, nausea came to call. My eyes filled with tears, and harsh reality thumped its way into my heart. And then all of me moved. I staggered like a drunk to the bathroom, emptied the contents of my stomach in a disgusting, wretched way. And once again, memories I didn’t want stabbed their dread into me. In the mirror I caught sight of my drawn face, my lank and matted hair. And the recall of the time I’d done the same thing on Tiri’s shuttle, after Lisa had drugged me so her queen could capture me, slammed home. It felt like it had happened yesterday. For all I knew right then, it could have been years ago. I wrenched my eyes away from the horrific sight of me, slumped onto the bed trying to clear old memories and focus instead on more recent ones. Tiri... suddenly in my bed, telling me we’d been together for weeks... heading for a planet where we would rule together... It didn’t make sense. How could she just appear in my bed? And where was she now? I had to find out. Find out what particular nightmare it was I was living through. If it was a nightmare at all... or some crazy new reality I’d slept my way into. I crept to the door, still open from when Tiri left me to rest. Still there was no sound, but that wasn’t anything unusual. There wasn’t much to do on a daily basis that made any noise. I glanced to the left and the right, flashing the walkway for signs of life. There was nothing. My bare feet made no sound as they took me to the bridge doorway. It was open too, again not unusual as we hardly ever closed it. We. Zana and me. The tears tried to come, just for a moment. I shook them away. Whatever my new reality was, the woman I love had been gone for three days. That much at least was an undeniable new reality.

Tiri wasn’t on the bridge. She wasn’t in the mess either. The meds room, the storeroom, all the other cabins were devoid of life. I grabbed a handgun from the weapons cabinet. She had to be somewhere on the lower level, likely creating some kind of evil that wouldn’t be good for anyone but herself. And I had already promised Zana I would complete the mission. My eyes were flicking everywhere as the elevator platform dropped to the downstairs level. I couldn’t see Tiri, but there were a lot of hiding places that could easily conceal her. As I searched, more recall flashed into my consciousness, memories of searching derelict, barren villages in Afghanistan for Taliban operatives. Back then we often found them, sometimes shot them. But now, in my confusing present, I could do neither. Tiri was gone. And I was alone again.

Chapter 13

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Sunday 7th June MY LONELY NEW WORLD IS FOUR DAYS OLD. As I sit alone in bed writing this entry before attempting to find sleep, I am lost. Lost in a world where time and reality seem to be lost too. The only way I know it is four days since we entered the cloud is the date on my watch. And apart from the log I cling to, confusion is my only companion. The cloud appears to have gone, but I ask myself if it ever existed at all. I have carried out a sensor sweep, to discover there is no sign of it. But something has taken away the woman I love. Something which then replaced her with the woman I hate. And now both of them are gone, along with the cloud. I cannot comprehend any of it. I am thinking myself to insanity, trying to find sense in a senseless reality. If reality is what it is. The ship that speeds me on my journey of solitude tells me Tiri’s shuttle is still ahead. Still heading to somewhere that is yet another unknown. And as long as she continues her journey, so must I. The desire to turn around and head back to Earth grows stronger. I am ignoring it, but I know in my heart as each day dawns it will become harder to remind me why I am putting myself through this hell. Tiri is no longer a threat to humankind. Of all the uncertainties in my head, the one certainty is that she has given up on Earth, instead seeking out a new world on which to vent her evil. My people, at least, are safe. But although Zana is gone, her determination to nullify her sister lives on.

Through me. So before I can even consider turning back, I must now be the one to do what I was trained to do. No matter what reality, or the lack of it, throws at me. My eyes grow heavy, along with my heart. It is time to find sleep, for without it I will be even more vulnerable. ______ My eyes opened, before they really wanted to. Once again, something had ripped away desolate sleep. Nothing seemed to have changed, not at first. No alarms were going off, no unwanted guests in my bed. But somehow this time I knew it was a sound that had woken me. And as I panned frightened eyes around the bedroom I saw something, and heard it at the same time. A sob. A child, letting out a husky, strange-sounding cry. A dark shape was huddled against the far corner of the room. The faint starlight wasn’t letting me see very much, but it was for sure a child, crouched to the floor, the hood of his top shrouding his face. And yet again, as I slipped silently out of bed, the pounding of my heart was thunder in my ears. I crept nearer to him, half of me screaming at the other half to run and hide, the other half intensely curious about this new apparition. Or whatever it was. As I drew close, I could make out more detail. By his size he couldn’t have been more than five years old. A tiny hand with fingers longer than they should be was grasping his hood, pulling it tight around his head like he was petrified of something. His face was turned to the wall, but as I reached him, the dread in my gut told me I likely wouldn’t want to see what lurked beneath the hoody. But he sounded so sad. I kept my voice as calm as I could, even though I wanted to scream at him for intruding on my quiet reality. ‘Hey... what’s wrong? What are you doing here?’

He didn’t turn his head, answered with a low growl, like a domestic cat seriously pissed off about something. In my uncertain world, it sounded even spookier than it was. My heart decided to stop for a few beats. He wasn’t moving, nothing was changing. But something had to. I reached out a trembling hand, touched him on the shoulder as gently as I could. ‘Hey, talk to me please?’ He didn’t talk. But his head flew round as he let out a vicious snarl. Yellow eyes with tiny black pupils glared evil into me. Black lips bared to reveal teeth like fangs, saliva running down his chin in thick, insidious drools. His face was blotchy, patches of faint red blending into pale, white skin. Long strands of black hair framed his gaunt features. And as realisation thudded into me like a wrecking ball and made me stagger back, desperate to get away from him, the door hissed aside. ‘There you are, Damian. How many times do I have to tell you not to hide from me?’ The woman reached down, picked up the little boy. And then, as he buried his evil face into her chest, she turned to me. ‘I’m so sorry. I hope he didn’t disturb you too much.’ ‘Um... what?’ As I took in her features, the two mumbled words were all I could find. She was human. Just about. Dressed in a long red cape, the hood was shrouding a face that seemed quite young. It was hard to tell for sure. The skin wrapping muchtoo-obvious cheekbones was a deathly shade of grey. Her eyes were grey too, almost-black pupils centred in dull, lighter grey scleras full of prominent blue veins. Her thin lips were the same insipid blue, trying to smile a friendly smile but struggling to hide the agonising pain she’d obviously been through. Everything about her was doing its best to conceal the fact she’d been the subject of insidious evil. She smiled to me again as she headed back to the doorway, turned and shook her head as she spoke in a coarse, defeated voice. ‘You must excuse him... his father

was Calanduran, and you know what they’re like...’ The dread thumping through me already knew that, and made putting words together even more difficult. ‘His... his father? Is he here too?’ I swear there were tears in her eyes. ‘Oh no... he’s gone. I’m a single mother now. It’s not easy, especially...’ The words faded away. I didn’t want them to. ‘What do you mean? Tell me your name, please?’ She turned away. ‘I... I’m sorry, we must go. Please forgive us...’ She was gone. For a moment I stared dumbly at the empty doorway, my rooted feet not letting me follow her. When they finally did, the walkway was empty. I began to run towards the bridge, trying to find them again. A second later I stopped, stood still. Searching for them was pointless. I knew they were gone. Totally gone. I fell onto the bed, and finally let go of every bit of the anguish consuming me. Wretched tears streamed down my face and dampened my pillow, relentless tears of grief and horror I no longer had the will to hold back. The awful sight of the defiled and abused girl was heartbreaking enough. But the image of the child she’d given birth to was far more horrific. I knew all too well who the father was. The memory of the face I burnt beyond recognition as I forced it onto the flaming ring of his kitchen hob, would stay with me forever.

Chapter 14

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The rest of the day went down in history as a minor miracle. Partly because I somehow managed to get through it, partly because there were no more strange and unexplainable happenings. By the time I fell into bed, too mentally exhausted even to write in the journal, it could have ed for any other normal day. That’s funny. Normal. I managed to smile at my own definition of normality. And then, as I began to feel myself drifting away, a stab of realisation threw me a curveball. Most of the weird occurrences had happened while I was asleep. Suddenly wide awake, I shook my head to myself. In my strange world, even falling asleep to dream of better things didn’t seem to work. For five minutes I debated the prospect of staying awake, just to see if it actually was being asleep that caused the weird and wonderful happenings. Ok, forget the wonderful part. But as it turned out, I had to forget the staying awake part as well. Mentally exhausted from my rude awakening the previous night, I didn’t have much of a choice. Sleep came anyway. If yet another rude awakening was in store, so be it. I had a dream. A nice one, until it faded away. I’d woken to find Zana beside me, sleeping peacefully. I’d snuggled into her shape, apparently not at all surprised to find her there. She’d lifted her head, whispered “I love you”, and drifted to sleep

again. Cocooned together under the covers, the warmth of her body blending beautifully into mine, I’d felt the mellow peace that only a true love can bring. The joy of total togetherness which, in my new reality, no longer existed. In my dream I’d made sure to stay awake a short while, allowing the beauty of our bond to refuel my heart and soul. I ed opening my eyes briefly, seeing the blue mist hazing the bedroom, thinking to myself that although it had infiltrated the ship, it was doing us no harm. Yeah, for sure it was a dream. When I woke for real, this time it was me who woke me. This time, I had the temporary joy of casting away the remnants of sleep at my own pace, in my own time. But it maybe wasn’t the best thing. The relief of waking the way most people do turned into a jolt of lonely desolation as I ed the beautiful, impossible dream. And as I reached out to find the bed held only me, and knew then it was a dream, the misty eyes were back. My silent tears held no anger, no blame. But they were full of heartbreak, streaked with loneliness, stained by grief and loss. My beautiful dream was just a dream, and now it was over, harsh reality was back. And for a few minutes, that was almost too much to handle. I forced myself to my promise to complete the mission. Lying in bed beating myself to a pulp wasn’t going to help that happen. For the first time I opened my eyes, idly focusing on the ceiling for a few moments before I forced my body to move. I wasn’t quite as awake as I thought. The tears I’d shed likely weren’t helping either. The room seemed hazy. I lifted my head a little. The room was hazy. A blue kind of haze. The cloud was back. I groaned to myself, allowed my head to flop back to the pillow. I was still

dreaming, and any minute now Zana would walk through the doorway with a beautiful smile, and plonk a coffee on the bedside table. Wake up, consciousness... this is just plain cruel. I turned onto my side, and curled into a defensive ball, refusing to accept any more dreamy scenes. How long I stayed that way I had no idea, but it seemed like an age. Nothing was changing; the blue tsunami still rolled its silent gentle way across the floor, the rest of the room remained swamped in the faint blue mist. My dream had become mind-numbingly boring. And I had to do something to shake it away. Slowly I sat up, glanced at my watch. Nine hours had ed since I’d last looked, just before I fell asleep. I sank my feet through my uninvited guest, found the floor and stood up, a little shakily. Through the windows all was blue too, a mirror image of the inside of the ship. I felt my heart pulsing a strange erratic beat through my veins, my head telling it not to be so stupid or get too excited. I padded to the en suite, shocked a gasp out of myself as I pounded my face with cold water. I was wide awake now, surely? And the blue cloud was still hitching a ride. How could this be? For two days it had been gone... Tiri said we’d flown through, and come out the other side. Are you listening to yourself? Tiri? How could she even have been on the shuttle, her own ship a few hundred kilometers ahead of us? How could anything be real? Sensors don’t lie. At least, I don’t think they do. When I checked yesterday she was still in front of us, just like she’d always been. So maybe it was time to check again, convince my head, which didn’t seem to want to believe a single

thing anymore, that she’s still where she should be. I slipped on a top and shorts, telling my silent blue friend he wasn’t going to see me naked any more than he had to, and headed to the door. And as I seemed to do every time, I hesitated, allowing the thump in my heart to level off as I cast furtive eyes along the walkway and saw no one was there. My legs took me slowly to the bridge doorway. My eyes peeped around it like I was playing the lead in a horror movie. Someone was there. She must have heard my movement. Or my gasp. In a fearful millisecond her head flicked round from the navigation console, and our eyes locked together. Neither of us moved. Neither of us could believe our eyes. Maybe we didn’t want to, given nothing seemed to be real anymore. But then she made it real. Staggering like a drunk with pure, disbelieving joy, she came to me, wrapped me in her arms. And as I held her tight, and her tears of relief dampened our cheeks, I heard her faltering words in my ear. ‘Gerard, where did you go? I thought I’d lost you forever.’

Chapter 15

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It took me a full minute to answer her. Maybe it was the sheer ecstasy of holding her close, maybe it was the fact what she said didn’t quite make sense. Like most everything else, it was hard to tell. Finally I eased our faces a little apart, managed to put a cautious sentence together. ‘Zana, what do you mean, you thought you’d lost me?’ An uncertain frown creased her brow. ‘I... I came to find you when it was time to swap watches. You were gone... three days ago...’ Her eyes filled with tears, and as her head dropped I pulled us close again. I had to fight back my own tears of confusion as I whispered in her ear. ‘That wasn’t what happened, Zana. I came to the bedroom to find you, but you were the one who had gone.’ ‘Gerard...’ She turned away, covered her face with her hands. ‘I searched for you... I’ve been here all the time.’ ‘So have I. And so was someone else.’ Our eyes locked together again, and the terrified look on her face told me she knew exactly who I meant. My voice was a whisper. ‘Guess you saw her too then.’ ‘Oh Gerard... she was there, standing beside me, gloating about how you and she were together, telling me all the sordid details of how...’ I put a finger on her lips, stopped the words before they got too painful to say and to hear. ‘Hey... whatever is happening here, none of it is real, ok? In my version of events I woke to find her in bed next to me, ranting on heading for a new world where we’d rule together. Telling me... telling me you’d

gone, given me to her.’ She spun away from me, threw trembling hands to her head. The words were spat out. ‘How does she do it, Gerard? Even when reality is not real, she still manages to hurt us. How?’ ‘Zana...’ I took her hand, even though it was shaking so much it was hard to hold onto. A weird but almost-feasible thought was forming in my head, but somehow I didn’t want to blurt it out. So I asked a leading question instead. ‘Maybe it is us, allowing our fears to get the better of our minds?’ She sank onto the helm seat, looked up to me with frightened eyes. And I knew she was tuned into my thought. ‘With a little unwanted help?’ I nodded, a somewhat relieved one because she’d straightaway latched onto my rookie theory. ‘Whatever this tsunami mist is, it has the power to separate us without separating us. We were both here all the time, but in different... modes, for want of a better description. And then once we thought we’d lost each other, it turned the screw by making our worst fears a kind of reality.’ A slight smile creased her face. ‘For a dumb rookie you talk a weird kind of sense. But why? Why would it want to do that?’ ‘Yeah, that’s way beyond the pay grade of a dumb rookie. But the more I think about it, the more it makes weird sense.’ I slipped my hand into hers, kissed her fingers. ‘Zana, did you get any other visitors apart from Tiri?’ ‘No, but I guess you did?’ ‘Yeah. Son of Arik came to call.’ The look on her face shook me for a moment. ‘Gerard, please tell me what happened.’ ‘I woke to find a five-year-old sobbing in the corner of the bedroom. When I went to him, he snarled at me. His face... his face was an even more evil version of Arik’s. Then his mother walked in...’ ‘His mother?’

My throat went dry, the recall of the tragic sight of her thumping dread through every fibre of me. ‘Yeah. She wasn’t a pretty sight... defeated, abused... a single mother bringing up the child of the devil...’ ‘Oh Gerard...’ She pulled us together, and I could feel the remorse and guilt racking her body. ‘I am so sorry.’ ‘Hey... none of it is real, ?’ ‘But it could have been.’ ‘Back when it mattered, you stopped it, Zana. With a little help from me.’ She forced a smile. ‘And still we live to fight another day.’ ‘Whatever another day is anymore.’ I saw her frown. ‘But... if this phenomenon brings out our worst fears, was one of yours Son of Arik?’ She had a point. A hit the nail on the head kind of point. When I’d ended Arik’s life, it was weeks before we knew the Calandurans were planning to abuse human women as breeding stock. The Son of Arik scenario had never even entered my head. Had it? ‘Maybe... maybe somewhere inside my subconscious I’d always linked Arik with the breeding programme. That could have made it a worst fear, I guess.’ Zana didn’t look convinced. ‘Perhaps. I do not know the inner workings of the human mind so well.’ ‘But you don’t seem so sure?’ ‘Are you?’ ‘No, but it’s all I’ve got to offer right now.’ We tiptoed through our blue friend for the rest of the day. He didn’t seem to object, and wasn’t complaining in any shape or form. And he had plenty of those.

Our conversation from earlier had unsettled us both. The sheer joy of finding each other again was overshadowed by the sheer terror of uncertainty. We both knew our delicate present had no shape or form. For the moment all was calm. Outwardly. Inside both of our minds was the knowledge that what happened before was just as likely to happen again, without any warning. Somehow our uninvited guest was calling the shots, and would do so until our journey through the cloud was complete. If it ever got complete. We shut ourselves away for a while, finding solace in each other under the bedcovers. But joyful as it was, even that was diluted by the fear of the unknown. Any thoughts of sharing perfect climaxes were right out of the airlock. In the evening we sat in the mess, sharing a little food with as much enthusiasm as a kid given a plate of undercooked vegetables. We talked less than we’d ever done, probably because the only subject on our minds was the one we didn’t want to voice. That’s as good a conversation-stopper as anything. But finally I raised the subject of sleep. ‘I don’t want to sleep,’ Zana said, a whisper that seemed to sum up the dejection on her face. ‘Neither do I, but if we’re going to get through this... literally... we have to.’ ‘I wish I could fall asleep in your arms, but one of us needs to be on watch.’ Something jolted a sentient thought into my head. ‘Maybe, but what if... what if we lost each other because we weren’t together?’ She nodded slowly. ‘You think he picks us off because we’re not in the same room?’ ‘Only one way to find out. Know your enemy, right?’ We buried ourselves under the covers, this time in the hope of finding sleep. I wasn’t sure either of us would, the enemy within playing devil’s advocate with

our minds like nothing ever had. But he’d also brought with him a crippling kind of mental exhaustion, which could just prove to be the one good thing about his presence. It was. Just before I found myself drifting away, hopefully not to dreamland, I felt Zana’s body jerk slightly, and knew she was almost asleep too. It was the sign I needed to allow myself to do the same.

Chapter 16

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Wednesday 10th June THREE DAYS HAVE ED. Three blissfully uneventful days. Although bliss is perhaps stretching the point, more than a little. Our journey through the cloud is one week old, a quarter of the way into its menacing presence. It has taken us a little closer to what appears the epicenter of our new friend. Our strange, uncertain world has grown a shade lighter as we approach yet another unknown. The blue outside our windows has turned to a pale cyan, which seems destined to get lighter still as we draw closer to the core. Our quarry remains ahead of us, travelling a straight trajectory into the eye of the storm. As yet she seems unharmed, although given our own experiences, it is possible she too is living through her own worst fears. Like with us, there are two people on her shuttle. The delicate wallflower of the sumo wrestler called Peroni departed Earth with Tiri, and must still be on board as she has made no stops along the way. Of course, it is a distinct possibility they have killed each other by now, depending on how bad their worst fears really are. I cannot help but smile as I reread what I have just written. For Tiri to die at the hands of her own right-hand-girl, while living out her worst fears, seems like the perfect endgame. But an unlikely one; she is far too smart to allow that to happen. I glance down to Zana, sleeping beside me as I key in these words. On our third night of sharing a bed and not letting go of each other, she has become a little less unsettled by the blue cloud neither she nor the ship’s sensors can comprehend. Her sleep is almost peaceful, and that brings me a strange kind of

peace too. In the last seven days I have seen pain and anguish on her face unlike anything I have seen before. Our blue friend has hurtled us both into a fearful unknown, and it has impacted on her more than it has me. Right now I have to be the strong one, my role to morph my love and into her, lift her spirit to a place where she can cast aside her fears and face whatever our foe throws at us. And yet strength is something I struggle to find. We are heading for the eye of the storm, the place where traditionally it is at its calmest. But this is deep space, where Earthly rules do not apply. Perhaps the last three days are simply the calm before the storm. ______ The familiar clunk of mug on bedside table opened my eyes. I smiled to her, smiled at the snippet of normality which I so longed to cling to. But a glance to the floor, and the tsunami mist that was never still, soon ripped normality away. ‘One day I’ll force myself out of bed first, and make you a coffee.’ ‘Sure you will.’ I caught sight of the smile on her face, almost a grin, and it warmed me. ‘Hey... when our guest departs, just watch me!’ She sat on the edge of the bed, gave me a good morning kiss and ran fingers through my hair. ‘It is long enough now for me to do this,’ she said as she allowed it to drift through her fingers. It was long enough, almost the length where it would begin to form natural waves again. I kind of liked it, but I knew I wouldn’t get away with anything less than its full original length. My totally hairless friend loved it too much. ‘Thought I might get you to crop it all off again,’ I said deliberately. ‘Sorry, I threw the clippers out of the airlock.’

She giggled, a sound so wonderful to hear, and hugged me. And tugged me. And then kissed me beautifully before she stood up. ‘And now I suppose you’d like me to make you breakfast?’ ‘Can I have it in bed please?’ ‘Sure. I’ll go make it, then do a full sensor sweep, and then carry out a maintenance check on all major systems. Then go to the lower level and finish the clear-out we started an age ago, then...’ ‘Ok, ok. I get the message. Can I have a minute to shower?’ ‘If you must.’ She left to press buttons on the autochef, and I fell into the shower. As the warm water cascaded over my skin and dropped into the blue folds of the constant companion around my feet, I caught myself smiling. For the first time in over a week, taking a shower felt unhurried, peaceful. The usual semi-panic of being in a confined space and unable to see anything further than the enclosure, had gone. The woman I loved seemed to be getting back to herself, and the unexpected didn’t appear to be happening. And although deep down I knew I couldn’t let my guard down, right then, right there it felt like I didn’t much need a guard. Guess I should have known better. The floor shook. It wasn’t just the floor, the whole ship trembled. But my naked feet on the shower tray felt it first. Then the rest of me was left in no doubt our smooth ride was smooth no more. A sudden violent movement tipped me against the shower wall. And then the shower wall moved. Well, kind of bulged. The centre puffed out its feathers, and then sank the opposite way, like an unsettling reflection in a hall of mirrors. The blue cloud showering with me seemed delighted, dancing a manic salsa, laughing at the sheer panic written all over my face.

Then, a few seconds after it started, it was gone. All of it, like it was never there. The shower walls were rock solid once more, the cloud back to its tranquil self. Unlike me. I ran from the shower, soaking wet, fell through the door of the mess and gasped out a relieved mumble as I saw Zana was still there. ‘What just happened?’ She turned to me, grinned as she saw my wet nakedness. ‘Have we run out of clean towels, hun?’ ‘What?’ The petrified look on my face finally got noticed. Her face changed. ‘Gerard..?’ ‘The shower just... convulsed. Everything shook, distorted. Didn’t you feel it?’ She came to me, held me tight. The shakes in her body were back, as was the shake in her voice. ‘Baby, I didn’t feel a thing. Nothing happened here.’ ‘How can part of the ship knock me off my feet and the other part be dead still?’ She tried to calm me down. But then her words did nothing to help. ‘I’ve no idea. I would say it was impossible, but the last time I said that I was proved wrong.’ The calming effect of an autocheffed bacon sandwich brought my heart-rate back to what ed for normal these days. But nothing could quell the realisation our four days of calm had come to an end. Both of us knew the quake was a warning shot. ‘We should hold hands and never let go.’ ‘I do like a little privacy when I go to the toilet.’ That made her smile, but somehow there was no mirth in it. And somehow we knew never letting go would make little difference anyway. Even so, Zana’s hand curled around mine, and something inside me didn’t want to let go. Ever again. But after a half-hour ed with little happening apart from inane wall-staring,

we both knew we had to do something. Zana shook her head, took our plates to the washer. She was ten feet away from me when our blue friend suddenly became agitated again. So did the floor. And everything else. Our little world turned into jelly, and the cloud decided it had had enough of the floor. In seconds, I could hardly see Zana. But I heard her scream, saw her hazy shape heading back towards me, staggering as she frantically tried to keep upright on a floor that wasn’t making it easy. ‘Gerard...’ A flailing hand speared out to me through the fog. I grasped it, but the convulsing floor pitched us apart. She was fading to a blur, dissipating into the fog, making it impossible to see her or anything else. Again a desperate hand begged me to take it. I reached for it, gasped as I caught sight of my own hand. It was translucent, a ghost of a hand without a hope in hell of holding anything. For a fleeting second I felt the nothingness of her touch, the momentary curl of fingers with no form, nothing but feathers around my own before they slipped away. And then once again, everything was still. The dancing mist folded back to the floor, and my eyes could see clearly. Everything except Zana. She had been taken from me, again. Or maybe I had been taken from her. Either which way, we were both alone.

Chapter 17

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I forced my eyes away from the bedroom ceiling. Staring blankly up at it was becoming a habit. A very boring habit. It wasn’t even that interesting; just silver bio-alloy, with two metal beams traversing it where we’d taken out the dividing walls and made good. We. There wasn’t a we anymore. Now, once again, it was me. Or, in Zana’s case, her. I’d felt no anger, not this time. When the ship rippled and the blue mist ripped us apart five hours ago, an unexpected numbness wrapped itself around me. I couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t react to what, a while back, would have felt like the end of the world. The feeling came back a couple of hours later. And for a minute or two my eyes tried to mist up as the realisation hit me we were once again in solitary confinement. That’s what it felt like. Our misty prison warder had decided we were getting on too well in the same cell, and split us up. Maybe he thought we were planning an escape, about to make a surprise break for freedom. He laughed at that. I saw it. Saw his gleeful gloating at our futile stupidity, always knowing there was no escape, and then separating us for even thinking there might be. I saw you grinning, my uninvited guest. I saw your jealousy as you watched two people bonded in a love you will never know or understand. But your sour

grapes won’t work, not on us... because the other thing you don’t know is that separate cells or not, the truest of loves will never die. See, you failed. I didn’t scream out my desolation or despair, didn’t vent a crazed anger on your foggy presence. I didn’t react at all, did I? So you failed. You failed... Pull yourself together. Going insane isn’t going to help keep you sane. Do something. Something practical. Keep busy. Please keep busy... I wrenched myself upright, sank my feet to the floor next to the bed, and buried my face in my hands. Then I examined my hands. I couldn’t see through them anymore, they seemed to be behaving like hands should. At least that was something to hold onto. Funny. Still making jokes. Can you do that when you’re insane? Stop it. I did the housework. All of it. Blitzed the place like there’d been an outbreak of a deadly virus. Sadly, my deep clean didn’t get rid of the outbreak of blue cloud. No one had found a cure for that. Not yet anyway. Zana had wanted to finish the garage clear-out, so I did it. I bundled a load of surplus stuff into the airlock, and dumped it into the biggest refuse skip in the universe. The universe itself. I watched through the mess window as it drifted slowly away into the blue-green cloud. I half-expected our brightening friend to freak out, shout abuse at me for dumping rubbish in his back yard, but he didn’t react. Maybe he was just getting his own back for not getting a reaction out of me.

Or maybe I was the crazy one, expecting human reactions from something that couldn’t get any less human. Blitzing the place helped. It took hours, even though cleaning the floors was a bit of an unknown when I couldn’t see them properly. I asked my guest to lift his feet, but he didn’t seem to hear. By the time evening drifted in I was tired. Really tired. Too tired to think properly... even half-crazy thoughts. I just about managed to stuff myself with some autocheffed food, not even sure what it was, and then fell into bed, already half asleep. And as I finally allowed myself to sink into relaxation like a deflating bouncy castle, something I didn’t want kicked in. Loneliness. I guess it was the vacant side of the bed. We’d spent the last four nights curling into sleep together, and it had started to become real again. Now it wasn’t real. Again. But as I called to the spotlights to kill themselves, and the cyan-tinted light filtered through the windows and bathed the room in a strange glow, I laughed to my enemy. A single thought had swept the loneliness away. I wasn’t alone. Zana was there, beside me. I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her presence, hear her whispered ‘I love you’. You see, misty jailor... you can lock us in separate cells, but you can’t keep us apart. Solitary confinement never did work, and it sure as hell isn’t now.

Chapter 18

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Monday 15th June SIX DAYS HAVE ED. Six days; much longer than he kept us apart the first time. Still I feel Zana’s presence, but the thought begins to nag at my heart that something is different. I am starting to cling to this log because it is the only constant in a world where uncertainty rules. Emptiness bores into my soul. I find myself talking to Zana, as if she is by my side. Perhaps she is. Perhaps she talks to me too, hoping I will hear the words. But I do not hear hers. I pretend they are there, imagine that when she speaks I answer, and she smiles at the sound of my voice. But as the days I become less sure, and more convinced he has maybe decided our separation must become permanent. When I am awake I think crazy thoughts, thoughts that race towards insanity until I realise what I am doing, and pull myself around. When I sleep, I dream frantic, impossible dreams, that confuse me when I wake, and then force me to separate what is in my mind and what is real. It is getting harder to do, and the desolate fear grips me that even if I make it through the cloud my mind will have folded into itself, and I will be unable to find the sentient thought I need to bring about the endgame we both so desperately want. My lonely world is lighter still. The sensors tell me I am inside the core of the phenomenon, and the cloud that travels slowly past my windows has turned a pale cyan colour. The funnels of darker mist that curled from its mass have gone, replaced by occasional flashes that remind me of sheet lightning.

I am surrounded by huge energy, yet still the ship is confused as to what that energy is. The fear that something is about to happen controls my every moment, grips me in a stranglehold of uncertainty that grows more difficult to survive with each ing day. Weariness is my friend. My physical exertions are minimal, yet the mental toll is huge. Sleep brings manic dreams, but still remains my only escape from a suffocating reality. ______ Sleep drifted away. As consciousness returned, a lazy arm lifted from the duvet, held itself a foot away from my eyes as they blinked away the fogginess and focused on my watch. Eight in the morning. My fifteenth day of hell had dawned. My arm dropped back to the duvet, my gaze drifted around the room. A soothing white starlight bathed everything in its mellow glow, brought an unexpected peace to my soul. I had woken relaxed, and as I idly tried to recall the insane dreams that had become my constant nighttime companion, I realised there were no dreams to recall. I sat up on my elbows, dropped my gaze to the floor. The blue cloud had gone, the whole room as clear as day. On the other side of the bed, the covers were pulled back. The pillow I had religiously straightened each evening was crumpled, a head-shaped dent in its centre. I wasn’t alone anymore. Beautiful relief washed over me. Yet somehow, it wasn’t unexpected. In a weird way, as my peaceful sleep ended, I’d already known my solitude was over. My body felt lazy, chilled. It almost seemed to drift out of bed, get itself to its feet, slip on shorts and a top in an unhurried way. I ran fingers through my hair, padded across the floor and out into the walkway. The faint hum of the power core felt like a beautiful background noise, sounds of the womb coming from the mother who kept us safe, telling me all was well with the world. And as I stepped through the bridge doorway she was there, the sight

of her completing the perfect tranquility of the moment. She was facing away from me, wearing a long red gown, pulled in at the waist by a wide green tie-belt. For a millisecond it felt like I’d seen it before, but then she turned and smiled, and the time for recall was gone. ‘Gerard, you are awake. Come... come see this joyous sight.’ She held out an elegant hand, inviting me to her. I slipped my hand into hers as I stood by her side, awestruck by the incredible sight in front of me. It filled the bridge windows. The beautiful world we were fast approaching was close enough to see every detail. Huge oceans were punctuated by land masses which looked almost as blue as the seas. Small flecks of white cloud drifted across its beauty, casting delicate shadows on the lush surface beneath them. I’d seen many a picture of the Earth, taken from satellites. It had looked beautiful, inviting. But it couldn’t compare to the blue world I was gazing at. After the hell of the last two weeks, it was the only place I wanted to be. A hand pointing to something on the surface interrupted my view, broke the trance. She was indicating a darker patch on one of the land masses in the southern hemisphere. ‘Do you see that, Gerard?’ she said softly. ‘That is our destination, a huge metropolis of a city on the shores of the ocean. Our people are already there, waiting for us.’ I guess in the grand scheme of things, her words should have surprised me. Somehow, they seemed like just the right thing to hear. ‘Will we be welcome?’ Her head dropped a little. ‘The mother-ship captured much of the indigenous population in the city; they are a primitive culture, and offered little resistance. Some are now our willing workers.’ ‘And our people... will they accept you as queen?’ She turned to me, took both my hands. For a moment a reassuring smile turned her lips upwards, but then it faded. ‘On board our mother ship is the queen of the western sector that once existed on Calandura. Her name is LaFreya. She will wish to rule, but only one of us can.’

‘And I guess that one will be you?’ ‘Of course. I shall be queen, and you my consort. But first we must nullify Freya. I am counting on you, Gerard. With you by my side we shall be victorious, and I will claim my rightful throne.’ I kissed her fingers, and said humbly, ‘You can count on me, Tiri.’ We ate breakfast together. The navigation computer was busy putting us into orbit around the blue planet, preparing the ship for descent. It would be our last meal on board. But as we ate, niggling thoughts clouded the mellow peace I’d felt. I tried to put the pieces together, but something seemed to be stopping them making sense. My queen must have noticed the clouds on my horizon. ‘Gerard, is something troubling you?’ It felt like something was, but it wouldn’t show itself through the fog of confusion that had suddenly descended over me. But somehow the words mumbled out. ‘Zana... where is Zana?’ She smiled a sympathetic smile, reached out and took my hand. ‘Oh Gerard, still you are confused. Please try and . Zana is dead.’ My hand snatched itself away. It wasn’t me doing it. For some reason the touch of her fingers was searing lightning bolts through my body. ‘Dead? She can’t be dead...’ She came to me, slipped a consoling arm around my shoulders. ‘Please try and ... she tried to kill me, didn’t she?’ Zana wanted her dead... finally a clear thought reverberated around my skull. And all I could do was stammer the words. ‘Y... yes. But what... how?’ ‘You killed her, Gerard. Killed her with your hand weapon.’ Lightning flashes of recall thundered into my heart. It wasn’t helping see

anything clearly. What I was recalling didn’t seem to match what Tiri was telling me. ‘I murdered her?’ She ran fingers lovingly through my hair, allowed them to drift away again. ‘Oh my dear, I can feel your pain. Perhaps what happened was so terrible for you, you have blocked it from your consciousness.’ Now the storm inside my head was a category three alert. The one that poses a threat to life. ‘Tell me what happened to her... I need to know!’ ‘Perhaps it is best...’ ‘I want to know!’ She took my hand, I wrenched it away again before it poisoned me. It didn’t stop her telling me the awful truth. One awful truth anyway. ‘After you killed Zana you threw her into the airlock, ejected her into space.’ ‘What?’ ‘She died at your hands. And then you got rid of her body, Gerard.’ ______

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We hope you enjoyed ‘Phantom’, the first episode of Season 2 of Pale Moon. We would be eternally grateful if you can spare two minutes to leave a review on your preferred site? It really is very easy, and makes a huge difference; both as to us, and in helping others to know what you thought. Thank you so much! Don’t miss the thrilling next installment of Pale Moon! Season 2, Episode 10: ‘Endgame’ continues Gerard and Zana’s incredible

story.

Heading to a beautiful blue planet inhabited by beautiful, primitive people, Tiri anticipates easy pickings. She has no idea Gerard and Zana are on her tail. Believing she is free, there is a huge shock in store. But when the sparks fly, who will come out as the victor?

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