Ielts Essay Band 9 3s6e11

I ELT S Essay , t opic : C apit al Punis hme nt Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Serious crimes need capital punishment so that the offender are unable to get involved in the crime in the future. However, If they want to stop the acts of violation in the future then it would be better to forget him and judge him for a change . Overall, I agree with the fact that punishment is the way to avoid thecrime to be increased and hence our lives become more secure. If the wrongdoer wants to be a good man and there is a particular financial or personal problem that led him to the wrong way, then it would be the nice option to forgive him and try to solve the problem he have. Although by this way, some bad man may become effective part of the society but some do not bring themselves to the right path because they are very much used to of it. The person that _ involved in the crime and never try to stop the lawbreaking act should be punished inthe extremely serious way. However, it totally depends on the nature of crime. Some crime led to a capital punishment and some may require a small penalty. The law-making institutions are responsible to bring the bad man to the right level of punishment that he deserves. If there is weak legislation to properly handle the offender, it maybecome our society less secure for the good man. The government should be the responsible authority to provide a secure and better state to live. Laws should be implemented and executed in the most proper way that do not allow the offender to commit violent acts or to break the law in any way and to any extent. To sum up, it is the responsibility of the state runner to stop people to involved in crime. It may be done through solving the problems of the people that led them to commit that violence act or by the punishment accordingly. Where are the paragraphs? This is a good essay; however there are many small mistakes that might cost you dearly. There are also several unclear expressions and grammatical errors. You should rewrite it, giving more thought to what is required, e.g. paragraphs.

IE LTS Es s ay, top ic: Ed uc atio n with o r witho ut a teac her

Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay. It is certainly said that learning is an ongoing process .Every personlearn something new according to their age, experience, knowledge and education. According to my point of view it is always better to have _teacher or guide for study. One teacher has adequate knowledge to teach their student. He knowsall the possible ways to make subject easier for the students, moreover, he teaches them in an effective manner. For example, some students are weak in some subjects but a teacher always guidesthem according to their mental capacity. He teaches them as fun. Some people can learn better in group by discuss the topics with others. In class people can know the views of others, even they know how we can learn effectively. Where the teacher always gives an easy direction to learn. In the today’s competitive world, everybody is busy, some people think that rather to waste their time to go for classes they can learn better their subject _. They can attend online classes by using the Internet at home. They can get relevant information from the Internet regarding their topic. There is not specific time or age limit to learn something new. Some new things we can only learn from experience – for example new facts, new habits and so on. In sum up, I would like to say that it is always better for the people to have a teacher because a teacher has good knowledge, experience and is educated how to teach others. People will learn from a teacher in an easier way rather than on their own. Where are the paragraphs in this essay? You must be very careful using definitive words such as ‘always’ and making statements about facts. The essay is for you to provide an opinion and to provide ing arguments. Also, the other side of the argument about teachers that have limited knowledge or people that learn better on their own is not presented here.

IE LTS Es s ay, top ic: A po p ular ho bb y rath er than a favorite p ass ti m e Nowadays people like to change their day by day activities according to the latest trends and also they are following popular things what their surrounding peoples make them popular in their area. This essay will explain the reason why the people are spending more time for popular hobbies rather than their individual activities. Hobbies and interest are different for everyone; this is the human nature,which is given by god. The current generations peoples are very much interest in the latest trend which makes them happy and alsohelp them to make more money. For example, cricket is the most famous game in many of the country, children and teen ages are starts playing it whenever they have free time in their daily life. This makes them will become a star in this game when they reach a certain age in their life. In addition, this popularity will help them to make lots of money in their life. Beside this, there are many hobby changes the peoples entire life into different way. Those are from poor family aiming to spend more time to make money rather than on their own interests. However, some of them are notworry about the popular hobbies and interests. For instance, drinking alcohol is one of the popular hobbies between low income and high level budget peoples interest. In conclusion, _spending more time for popular hobbies and interests really depends on their surrounding people’s activity and environments. It may be a helpful for them to become a star in their life or spending time with many friends. Avoid statements such as ‘This essay will explain the reason’, your essay should present a point of view including ing information and examples. The essay needs to be easy to follow, and in addition your English should be accurate and appropriate. I suggest that you read several essays that have been awarded high band scores and think about how those writers have structured their essays.

IE LTS Es s ay, top ic: U nivers ity mo ney b ett er s p ent on lib raries o r sp o rts Universities should allocate the same amount of money to their sport activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree or disagree? Yes, I do feel that universities should have an equal budget for their libraries as well as _ sport activities. It is our general belief that a good player can not be _ good student and hence we restrict our children’s sport activities at college level. Moreover, an academic degree has much more value than sport activities which naturally compels students to focus more on their studies than their interest in sport. Most of the universities keep sports at last number of their priority list,because of which good players do not get enough facilities andequipments to improve their skills and eventually they loose their interest.Universities can play _ substantial role in shaping this talent by providing good trainers and equipments which is otherwise too expensive to afford. Also it will attract other studentstowards sports and inculcate importance of physical fitness in them. Universities should produce genious in all fields rather than only concentrating on progress of scholars. Hence, I feel that universities should allot equal amounts of money to liabrary as well as sport activities. Your essay too short, the introduction is good, as is the first paragraph but you must offer more arguments regarding why you agree or disagree. There are many spelling, punctuation and article errors. The essay is easy to follow but has the appearance of the writer running short of time.

IE LTS Es s ay, top ic: Mo d ern m ed ic ine helps to live lo ng er Modern medicine helps to live a longer life. Do you agree? The modern medicine is very important for living a long life. It is depend on new technology. People take very easy and quickly. Also modern medicine is very quick absorbing to human body. It is helps to back to normal for people health condition. Therefore I agree that the modern medicine is helps to live longer. First of all, the modern medicine can prevent incurable diseases. Doctors can find some diseases very early. Then doctors can give suitable medicines to patients. New modern equipments are helpsdoctors is going to correct way. Also intelligent people in the world live a long life on helps from modern medicine. That is very important in the human society because their creative things are coming with them and they can help others for a longer time when they are living in long life with comfortably. Beside, old population is increasing in the country. It is badly effect incountry’s economy and especially for third world countries. But old people are very important in human society because their experience definitely helps to living safely and planning to new project. ‘Experience is better than qualifications’ However, old people are living a long life; it is helping others to live a long life because we can get advice from them and they are covering our culture and society. Moreover, modern medicine is being addictive for some people, so that they cannot live without medicine. They should take medicine all their lives. Also modern medicine is very expensive. Therefore most of poor countries couldn?t take modern medicine and it has taken a commercial shape, also it is depending on money. In the modern medicine have not facts of human kindness. People who have money can take modern medicine. But

indigenous medicine has well human friendly shape. It does not depend on money. To summarize; in my personal view, modern medicine is helping to live a long life with comfortably. Modern technologies are being ed to find unburnable diseases very early. So doctors can take correct path immediately. Therefore, may I not hesitate to agree with the above mentioned statement. Your essay has several confusing sentences, where your meaning is unclear. You mix advantages and disadvantages of the modern medicine in one paragraph when you should divide them – have advantages in one paragraph and disadvantages in another. If you agree with the statement, you should have 2 paragraphs ing your opinion and one ing the opposite opinion, in your essay it is 2 against and 1 for. The structure of sentences is not very good here and so is your grammar. Try reading more essays of Bands 6 and 7 to see how you can improve your writing. Read more tips in IELTS-blog and “Ace The IELTS” or “Target Band 7″ e-books.

IE LTS Es s ay, top ic: th e m o ther ’s and fath er ’s ro le in a family Boys are most influenced by their fathers and girls are most influenced by their mothers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons to your opinion.

It is true that nowadays parent have a great influence over thechildren. Some people hold the opinion that the same sex is the major determination of influencing parent, but others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I agree that boys are most influenced by their fathers and girls are most influenced by their mothers. My arguments for this point are listed below. First of all, a father is the person who have already ed that wayswhich are his son is ing now, in other words, sons are following their father’s footsteps. So, based on experience it is easy for a father to notice his sons’ drawbacks and to influence them. Secondly, it is true that a boy is countedas a strong characteristics human , but a girl is a subtle and fragile one. It is hard for mothers to influence their sons, because it is not likely that vulnerable somethingcan affect a strong one. In conclusion, it seems to me unfair that boys are most influenced by their mothers. Based on at least two points above I strongly agree that children are influenced by a parent of the same gender. This essay is too short, 190 words instead of the minimum requirement of 250. It doesn’t say anything about girls being influenced by their mothers, which is also a part of the task – therefore the task is only partially covered. The sentences are not complex enough, there are grammatical mistakes and inaccuracies (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 5.5 essay

IE LTS Es s ay, top ic: keep ing p ets to live a m o re enj oyab le life

Some people believe that having a pet such as a cat or a dog helps old people to live a more enjoyable life and to stay healthier. How do you think old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problems related to old people who have pets? Pets have become far more familiar within mankind community, and indeed, the importance of relationship between human beings and their pets has been proved to be slightly exaggerated in some nations. However, although problems regarding animals’ hairs may affect the health conditions of old people, the benefits that these lovely animals bring to them, physically and mentally alike, are clearly undeniable. In term of physical benefits, the well-being conditions of elderly people with pets are more favourable compared to those without pets, since not only do they have to take care of themselves, __ the responsibilitythat ensure their love one being fed and well looked after encourages them to become even more active. Due to these extra activities, thisthough might not have an obvious influence on their health, but at least this could help them to avoid bad living styles. Coupled with physical side, their mental wellbeing will also be improved, and the reason is that having someone to take care of would reduce the chance of feeling loneliness. Therefore, their depressing rate could be minimised. In spite of the above advantages, the threats of too close interaction between pets and vulnerable old people still exist. One of the major concerns is the harmfulness of these animal hairs on their tracheas, especially those with asthma. Because of the virtually invisible in the air, many asthma symptoms are caused unconsciously by pets. In addition to the fact that old people might experience difficulty in looking after their pets, as their health conditions are limited, whichcould become even more challenge when they try t take care of others. In conclusion, it is true that obstacles still exist for elderly people in adopting pets, but the benefits of this topic outnumber its shortages. For such reasons, instead of discontinuing them, further would be far more beneficial. You have made an attempt to accomplish the task response. However, there are quite a few mistakes in the essay – the main problematic areas are grammar, sentence structure and word choice. In addition, the length of the task response could be reduced. This task response needs to be worked on and improved.

Revise grammar and work on your sentence structure. Avoid writing more than 280 words to save time and reduce the number of mistakes, and to always proofread your work once you’re finished. Overall, this looks like a Band 5.5 essay

IE LTS Es s ay, top ic: N atural res o urc es c anno t s us tain ec o no mi c g ro wth , ag re e o r dis ag ree ? There is no longer enough natural resources to sustain current levels of economic growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Recently, the demands of natural resources have risen dramatically across the world due to population growth. Some people state that wehave not enough resources. However, there are some individuals who disagree with this opinion. In this essay, the issues behind this phenomenon will be examined. On the one hand, some people state that if the number of natural resource will continue to degrease we cannot have a comfortable life because natural resources are limited. According to a government research in the USA shows that if this situation will continue, the petrol will lose in 2050. Moreover, it is widely said that the number of population in the world will increase. This will make the amount of natural resource decrease. On the other hand, there are some individuals who disagree with abovementioned perception. The demands of natural resources will be lessen owning to improving the technology. For example, thedevelopments of technology such as electronic cars gave a positive impact in the society. By using this, we can decline the consumption of natural resources. Eventually, we will not need natural fuel. In my opinion, decreasing of natural resource is quite crisis, I think the loss of it give a negative

impact in the society because even we won’t have a comfortable life any more. In conclusion, I agree with the idea that there is no longer enough natural resources to sustain this situation. In order to defense our life, the governments every countries should tackle this issue. This essay needs work, in particular in the areas of grammar, sentence structure and word choice (mouse over the words in blue will show suggested corrections). The arguments could have been more convincing. The word count is only 245, whereas at least 250 words are required to avoid being penalised. Overall, this looks like a Band 5.5 essay.