His Wicked Celtic Kiss: Wicked Men Of Rockland City, #2 3l44a

His Wicked Celtic Kiss

Wicked Men of Rockland City Series #2

By

Karyn Gerrard

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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

His Wicked Celtic Kiss

Copyright © 2014, 2021 by Karyn Gerrard

KG Publishing

Vers 2.0

ISBN: 978-1-7772205-3-2

Cover art by The Write Designer

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work, in whole or in part, in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.

Table of Contents

The Wicked Men of Rockland Series

Author’s Note

Summary for His Wicked Celtic Kiss

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Epilogue

More Books by Karyn Gerrard

Author Biography

Sneak Peek of His Wicked Cold Heart (Wicked Men of Rockland City #3)

The Wicked Men of Rockland City Series

Nestled on the Chesapeake Bay, in Rockland City, Maryland, this small industrial city has witnessed the struggle for dominance by two families: The De Lucas and the Barneses. For good or ill, their lives, and those associated with them, have intertwined for years.

The Barnes family represents law and order. The De Lucas embodies the complete opposite, and soon their various criminal enterprises overtake everyone’s lives with disastrous results. Once the smoke clears, the question remains of who will survive. ions run high, so do old and new resentments —and old and new friendships and loves.

Author’s Note

I wrote His Wicked Celtic Kiss in 2014. It was originally published with Crimson Romance. When I got the rights back in 2017, I decided that I would republish/publish this series myself with major revisions and new material.

His Wicked Celtic Kiss is book two in my Wicked Men of Rockland City series. The hero and heroine of this novel, Julie and Lorcan, met in book one, He’s the Wicked Bad, and their story continues here.

Lorcan suffers from mild PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) a mental health injury triggered by a terrifying event.

After taking the historical romance path for a few years, I got the urge to turn to this contemporary series once again. Here is what I have planned so far. It will contain the following books (mainstream romance):

Book 1: He’s the Wicked Bad (change in previous title) Nick’s Story

Book 2: His Wicked Celtic Kiss (no change in previous title) Lorcan’s Story

Book 3: His Wicked Cold Heart (all new) Liam’s Story

Book 4: He’s so Wicked Good (all new) Tyler’s Story

Both books one and two have major editing and revisions. And a change in the heat level for book one in particular.

Rockland City is fictional, and in no way a reflection of any similarly named city or location in Maryland or elsewhere. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Summary for His Wicked Celtic Kiss

It took just one teasing wink and a sexy Irish lilt from ‘bad boy’ Lorcan Byrne to turn Julie Barnes’s world upside down.

After several dangerous years working as a soldier and a spy, Lorcan has stopped in Rockland City for some much-needed downtime. He’s only in town for six months, working for his extended family, and happily-ever-after isn’t in this world traveler’s vocabulary.

Julie has worked hard to change her life. But this handsome Irish charmer is just as enticing as any of the decadent cakes she sells, and she can’t resist the temptation of him. She’s planning to enjoy every second of their explosive chemistry—for as long as it lasts.

For his part, Lorcan didn’t count on meeting someone who could soothe his damaged heart and help heal his troubled soul. Never mind the searing attraction. But staying permanently in one place is not an option. However, Julie is determined to convince him that he has more to offer than just his ‘wicked Celtic kiss.’

Prologue

Six hundred channels and not a bloody thing worth watching.

Lorcan Byrne reached for the television remote to turn off the set. Instead, an image of a verdant hillside flickered on the screen, catching his attention. Lush orchestration filled the room, and he recognized the tune immediately— “Isle of Innisfree.”

The haunting melody spoke of an Irish immigrant longing to return home. Lorcan swallowed hard as emotion unexpectedly overcame him. What were the odds the travel channel would be showing a program on Ireland?

Home.

Looking across the vast expanse of concrete and untamed urban sprawl from his third-story flat window, he could almost imagine the lush meadows and glacial lakes in the Ring of Kerry.

Not that he’d spent much time in Ireland lately. Lorcan had traveled the world as a soldier, and in his capacity as a spy for the Irish Army, experienced things he didn’t want to . The memories still haunted his dreams and had taken up residence in the dark corners of his soul.

The music turned into white noise as he leaned against the window and sighed wistfully.

Home.

Even after all his adventures, he still wandered from place to place. Recently, Lorcan had made it home to Dublin to visit his parents. But as soon as the opportunity came, he was off once again.

Brogan, his rock musician brother, was on a small venue U.S. tour. Reese, another brother, and their cousins, Ronan McCarthy and Sullivan ‘Sully’ McDermott, had traveled with Brogan as part of his entourage.

Lorcan had jumped at the chance. He’d thought a road trip would help him forget.

After all, a six-month temporary diversion would be another stop in a long line of casual jobs and fleeting relationships. But he was soon bored and instead took a detour to Rockland City, Maryland, to an extended family he’d not seen in years: the De Lucas.

His U.S. cousins had all visited Ireland every summer up until Lorcan was twelve. Now here he was, working for his Uncle Vinnie.

Lorcan’s brows furrowed. He’d only been in The States for six weeks, and he

was already yearning for home again?

It made no sense.

Would Lorcan ever find a place of permanence? A place where he felt at ease? A place where he was no longer disturbed by recollections best forgotten?

The rasping noise of a buzzer cut through his thoughts. He strode to the intercom and pressed the button.

“Aye?”

“It’s Nick. Buzz me in.”

Lorcan hit the button then walked over to the window, scanning the parking lot below. Sure enough, there was Veronica’s Mustang. She waved to him, and he returned the greeting. Lorcan had promised to help them move Veronica’s belongings into Nick’s flat. With one last yearning look at the Irish countryside, he clicked off the telly.

Lorcan let his friend in. Standing at six-foot-four and a half, Nick Crocetti took up the entire doorframe.

“Didn’t you hear me beeping the car horn?” Nick asked as he plopped down on the recliner. He gave the near-empty room a cursory look. “No sofa yet. Do you

even live here?”

Lorcan glanced around his flat. Nick was right. In the few weeks since he’d moved in, he hadn’t bothered with personal touches or flourishes. Lorcan could effectively pack up his life in a couple of suitcases. He’d learned to travel light long ago.

“To answer your questions, no, I didn’t bloody well hear you. I sleep here, nothing else. It is a place to lay my head. That’s all I need it for.” Lorcan sat on the end of the wooden coffee table that came with the flat. “How’s the arm?”

Nick clenched his fist and flexed his gauze-covered bicep. “The burns are healing. I still have the bandages, but at least I’m off the painkillers.”

“So, you’re up to moving boxes?”

Nick nodded. “It’s only her personal effects; it shouldn’t take more than a couple of trips. Veronica is leaving a lot of stuff behind for now.”

“The fire inspectors gave the okay for you to live in your flat?” Lorcan asked. “Obviously.”

“Yeah. The damage downstairs is water and smoke more than anything. Since it ed inspection for structural soundness, the renovations will start soon. The contractor said reopening in the new year could be possible.”

“That’s great news. Are you going to be able to live there with renovations happening?”

Nick shrugged. “It’s mostly clean up and only three days a week. We’ll manage.”

Lorcan stood. “We’d better get a move on then, mate.”

“Hold on. Sit. I want to talk.”

Lorcan grunted and sat on the table again. “Since when? I thought conversations weren’t your thing? And Veronica’s down in the car—”

“Veronica’s fine. I bought her a caramel latte, and she’s reading one of her Highlander romances on her phone. She’s cool. First, it’s been a couple of weeks since the fire at my bar, and I want to thank you for everything you’ve done.”

Lorcan squirmed uncomfortably, not that balancing his arse on the edge of a coffee table could be considered comfortable. He opened his mouth to speak, to tell Nick there was no need to thank him yet again as he had done it more than once, but Nick raised his hand to halt him.

“You’re going to hear me out. No interruptions. You saved my life. You pulled my unconscious ass out of the fire. Then you paid for my hospital stay and offered shifts at The Playpen bartending, along with medical benefits. Now, this?”

Nick pulled a folded envelope out of his shirt pocket. “A check? And why the hell did you mail it to Veronica’s bakery? Why not come by and give it to me in person? What the fuck?”

Nick sounded annoyed, and he couldn’t blame the bloke. Why did he mail the check?

Guilt, pure and simple.

The fire in Nick’s bar? Lorcan’s crazy cousin, Ronan McCarthy, had started it to gain revenge for a perceived insult. When Lorcan found out what Ronan had done, he and Sully made sure their cousin got the hell out of the city and back to Dublin. Lorcan considered Nick a good friend, and he always helped his friends and protected his family, regardless of the circumstances. He recognized that Ronan’s disappearance was the best solution all around.

“The money is a small loan, that way, you can proceed with the renovations full bore until the insurance money comes through. You said the approval could take a few months. This loan will allow you to have the crew work five days a week instead of three. At that pace, you can reopen sooner, like late December or early January. Pay me back when you can, mate.”

Lorcan had more money than he knew what to do with, but he kept his wealth, such as it was, under wraps.

“I don’t have many friends,” Nick said gruffly, his voice thick with emotion. “I

appreciate this. And I’m paying you back with interest. No arguments.”

“Aye. Whatever you wish. So, Veronica’s moving in. Is this of a permanent nature?” Lorcan winked teasingly.

“It is. Very permanent. We love each other. We want to be together all the time.” Nick paused. “You’re very good at this.”

Lorcan’s brows arched. “What do you mean?”

“You change the subject when the conversation gets too heavy. Lay on the charming Irish bullshit to deflect people from getting too close. You can’t kid a kidder, Lorcan. I know when someone’s hiding something. I saw you looking out your window. I saw the expression on your face. I recognize it.” Nick paused, then shook his head.

“You were gone, man. Lost in thought,” Nick continued. “And it wasn’t good thoughts. Your mask might be different from my brooding one, but you wear one. Don’t deny it.” Nick stuffed the envelope in his pocket, pulled the lever on the recliner, and sat back, crossing his arms behind his head.

Lorcan rubbed his eyes as they throbbed with fatigue. Sleep didn’t come easy and hadn’t for years, and what sleep he managed barely offered any relief from his tortured memories.

“Aye, masks,” he muttered. “No emotional attachments to possessions or other

people. It’s the way I’ve been living for a while. Maybe I’m using this time to try to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.”

Heal. Reflect. Whatever it takes.

Despite what horrors haunted him at night, he refused to allow any of it to invade his mind in the cold light of day. Lorcan also didn’t want to talk about it in any detail.

Maybe this was why he and Nick had formed a strong bond. They were alike in many ways. He had already told Nick more than he had revealed to anyone, even his family.

“I hear you. I just want you to know that I get it. And, hell,” Nick’s mouth quirked. “I’m here for you. Whenever. Whatever you need. I’m a good listener. Or so my customers used to say.”

Nick flipped the recliner into an upright position and stood. Though visibly uncomfortable talking about emotions, there was sincerity in his friend’s sincere words. Lorcan appreciated it.

“We’d better head out,” Nick stated. “Julie’s going to watch the bakery while we move the boxes.”

Julie Barnes.

A spark of excitement moved through Lorcan at the prospect of seeing her again.

Curious, that.

He hadn’t seen her in over two weeks. The last time they’d spoken was at the bakery when he had ordered a dozen rolls. Julie bent over the display case and showed him the most luscious arse he had ever seen. His arousal had spiked, and he immediately made a hasty exit. It would be interesting to see what reaction he’d have today.

He stood, reached for his keys, and followed Nick out the door.

Lorcan allowed his features to settle into the mask that he showed the world: the teasing, charming, adroit Irishman who had not a care in the world. A man confident in his skin, secure in his looks, and who had the world by the tail.

Too bad none of it was true.

Chapter 1

Working in a bakery was a temptation to the extreme for Julie Barnes. Every day she was surrounded by luscious cinnamon rolls, delectable cookies, and fresh, warm bread. But it was a good challenge, too. If she could work here and not be tempted by the chocolate chip pecan cookies, then perhaps, the war had been won.

The war was not the weight loss, but gaining confidence, being happy with who she was. Julie had achieved that, along with letting go of stress. Losing weight came after the fact. Anxiety still reared its head now and then, but for the most part, she was in a good place.

She glanced at the clock. Her boss, and cousin, Veronica ‘Ronnie’ Barnes, was in the process of moving her belongings into Nick Crocetti’s apartment across town. She would be returning any minute, and she’d be expecting an answer.

Ronnie had offered the apartment located behind the bakery, rent-free. Julie’s current apartment had become a financial strain, and the generous offer was well-timed. Waking up to the odor of baked goods each morning would be a test of her willpower.

She could do it. Hell, she could do anything she put her mind to.

A black Lincoln Navigator roared into the parking lot, skidding to an abrupt stop

in front of Titus Bakery. Nick climbed out of the enger side, opened the back door, and held out his hand. Ronnie took it, stepping out like a starlet going to a movie premiere. Who would have thought that Nick, the big rugged biker whom Julie had nicknamed The Terminator, would turn out to be such a tender pussycat?

Then the driver’s side door swung open, and Lorcan Byrne made an appearance. Julie snapped her gum and chewed faster at the glorious sight of him.

The man was utterly gorgeous.

There were no other words to describe him.

Lorcan resembled a romance book cover model, and there was no mistaking his masculinity. It came off him in waves. Don’t get her started on that voice of his. The deep, playful, Irish lilt rolled off his tongue like wicked sin. Lorcan was almost as sinful as the chocolate chip pecan cookies.

He stretched, his tight white T-shirt riding up over toned abs. Julie nearly swallowed her gum.

Maybe as sinful.

He lifted the dark aviator sunglasses, and bright, blue-green eyes nailed her with a searing look. The summer breeze tousled his longish dark brown hair.

Maybe…more sinful.

Julie winced as she recalled the date night that she and Lorcan had with Nick and Ronnie.

Talk about getting off on the wrong foot. Could it have been only six weeks ago? It seemed an eternity.

It hadn’t been an official date, of course. Julie and Lorcan were there as friends of Nick and Ronnie, respectively, for no other reason. She had been reluctant to go, but her cousin had convinced her to attend. What could it hurt?

The evening started off awkwardly, her inner strength shaken each time he’d turned those luminescent eyes on her and spoke with that sexy accent.

But once they had been left alone, they started talking and—connected.

When he’d touched her arm, it had been electric, pure and simple. Every nerve ending had crackled with life. Though he’d pulled away from her quickly enough.

But it wasn’t only the heated sparks between them.

Lorcan’s cousin, Ronan McCarthy, had shown up, and all hell had broken loose. First off, his long-haired, scarred cousin sat briefly with her and Lorcan, calling

her ‘plain as muck,’ and not Lorcan’s usual type.

It had angered her, and yes, underneath, it had hurt. Growing up as a fat girl had exposed her to cruel remarks and teasing throughout her life. But she didn’t shrink away. Julie stood up for herself.

Angry, Nick manhandled this Irish cousin, and, according to Ronnie, this thug had been in Nick’s bar trying to sell drugs a few weeks before.

The night ended, then and there.

Later, she and Lorcan had reached an agreement to be polite for Nick and Ronnie’s sake. This would be the test.

Speaking of her cousin, Ronnie stepped between the tall men, looped her arms through theirs, and smiled warmly as they sauntered towards the shop. Julie quickly removed the gum, wrapped it in a tissue, and tossed it in the wastebasket.

Nick held the door open, and Ronnie stepped through first.

“Julie, we’re back!” she called out. “One more trip should do it.”

“Lorcan and I can take the last boxes over, then come back and get you,” Nick said to Ronnie.

“We can all go out to dinner after. What do you say, Julie?” Lorcan asked, his gaze firm on her.

Caught off guard, Julie was rendered speechless.

This must be one of those times Lorcan mentioned when they’d conversed last. The “we should try and be civil for our friends’ sakes” moments. How to respond?

“I have plans,” she offered lamely.

Right, hand-wash my bras and paint my toenails. Big plans.

“Another time, then.” Ronnie clasped Nick’s hand and walked toward the rear hallway. She halted. “Oh, are you taking the apartment, Julie?”

Everyone stared at her waiting for a reply. It made financial sense. Why procrastinate?

Make a decision.

“Thanks, Ronnie. I will.”

“Wonderful! And I’ll even loan you my boys to help you move.” Ronnie winked as she and Nick headed down the hallway.

Only Lorcan hadn’t followed them; he stayed standing by the counter.

“Do you have any plans this Saturday night, darlin’? You do recall we discussed going out to dinner?”

He can’t be serious.

When he’d tossed out the casual invitation, she’d thought he was merely being polite, solicitous, and nothing more.

“A date?” she snorted.

The unlady-like snort was a nice touch.

Lorcan laid his hands flat on the counter and leaned forward. A subtle whiff of his expensive cologne assaulted her senses, the scent making her light-headed.

“A date,” he nodded. “I’m all for it. You get off at six on Saturday?” His deep voice rolled huskily.

Julie couldn’t speak. She gazed into his eyes, which were large, expressive, and an indescribable shade of blue-green she’d only seen once before, on a late-night travel show about diving in the Spanish waters off Cortina. His mouth was cradled by the most devastating dimples she’d ever seen.

Lorcan reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. Her eyes widened.

No—he wasn’t going to—he kissed it.

Those full, sensuous lips roved over her knuckles, nibbling delicately on each one. Those half-hooded gorgeous eyes looked at her with such heat, her insides melted.

“I don’t think so, but thanks for asking,” she answered in as steady a voice as she could muster.

He dropped her hand, and for a split second, appeared to be shocked. But Lorcan recovered quickly. The smile he flashed was rigid and didn’t go all the way to his eyes.

“Fair play. As Veronica said, another time, then.” Lorcan ambled toward the back apartment.

Julie exhaled. It was best to nip this in the bud. He was too much of everything she had ever wanted in a man—physically speaking—with his perfectly

proportioned face and six-foot-plus athletic body.

Which, on the surface, made no sense at all?

Basically, she was protecting her heart. Julie didn’t want to be in a situation where she would get hurt. He confused her, stirring up emotions best left buried, and she didn’t need that in her life at the moment.

She watched until he disappeared from view. Maybe she had made a mistake by saying no. What happened to taking charge of her life, going in new directions? Ruminating over her decision would come later.

* * *

Lorcan entered the connecting hall between the bakery and the apartment. Laughter drifted out from the back rooms. He leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath.

Julie refused him?

Without sounding conceited, Lorcan had never been rejected before.

Because he was an indisputably handsome man.

This wasn’t arrogance.

It was merely something he had been told more than once. He knew it was all part and parcel of being the lucky recipient of a DNA jackpot courtesy of his parents.

Lorcan hardly gave his looks much thought. (Well, except right now) But through the years, he hadn’t shied away from using them when the situation warranted it. Sometimes—No, often in his previous occupations, it had come in handy.

When he was a wee lad in Dublin, the older ladies who lived in the same row of ramshackle flats as his family would pinch his cheeks, cooing about how lovely he was. Lorcan had soon discovered that a teasing wink and a broad smile would warrant an extra biscuit or a bag of crisps as a reward.

Occasionally, if he was lucky, a few pence would be pressed into his hand, enough that he could treat his cousins, Sully and Ronan, to sweets at the corner shop. Sometimes, he even treated his younger brothers and sisters.

Whether he charmed candy from old ladies or, as he grew older, sex from the young ladies, Lorcan had learned that good looks opened many doors. It was blasted unfair, not right at all, but it was the way of the world.

But his supposed good looks did not factor in with Julie Barnes. She’d practically slammed her door right in his face.

When they’d gone out to dinner with Nick and Veronica, she had barely spoken to him until she made a snide remark about his job running the club, The Playpen, for his De Luca extended family. She’d called it the Bada Bing and referred to him as an Irish Tony Soprano.

Actually, he’d been amused by her wry remarks.

The lass showed spunk. He liked that.

Yet, when he had touched her arm, she recoiled in disgust.

On his end?

Lorcan had felt a wave of heat move through him with such intensity, it was as if he’d been burned. Then Ronan showed up, and the rest of the evening turned to shite.

Muttering colorful Irish curses that he’d first heard from his Grandfather McAleenan, Lorcan ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

Whenever Julie looked at him with those stunning eyes—which were a magnificent shade of hazel dotted with dazzling flecks of gold—warmth sizzled through him. Her skin had an attractive luminescence, and she had curves he’d love to explore.

Lorcan wanted to get to know Julie better. She intrigued him more than any other woman had in ages.

One thing he did know, he wasn’t giving up so easily.

He always enjoyed a challenge, and it had been too long since he’d felt his interest piqued this way.

One more time, and if she rebuffed him, then so be it.

He strode into the back flat and caught Nick and Veronica in a ionate kiss.

“Bloody hell, you both need to be hosed down,” Lorcan teased.

Nick and Veronica broke apart and laughed.

“You were talking to Julie?” Veronica asked.

“Aye. I asked her out Saturday night, she said no.”

“If I were you, I’d try again. At least once more. Julie’s first instinct is to say no to everything,” Veronica advised.

“She has said no more than once today,” Lorcan said wryly.

“Trust me. Try again.”

“Aye, I will. Maybe tomorrow.”

Nick handed him a box. “Thanks for helping us out.”

Lorcan flashed one of his easy grins. “What are mates for?”

* * *

Julie made her way across the street to the small park area to enjoy the fresh air and the warm late August sunshine. After settling on a bench under a shady alder tree, she pulled a plastic bag of celery and carrot sticks out of a paper sack.

Biting into the celery stick, she glanced around at her surroundings. A goldfinch landed on a low branch and warbled a musical accompaniment to her midday snack. People from all walks of life strolled past, a few going into Titus Bakery.

The business was brisk since Ronnie opened. What guts to have taken such a big step. Her cousin had left a good-paying job in California to move back to her hometown to a new profession and a new beginning.

She ired her cousin, not only for opening a new business but for allowing love into her life. Especially after she had been hurt by her brief first marriage.

Julie was also glad she and Ronnie had reconnected. They were good friends again.

One of Julie’s regrets?

She’d never accepted her parents’ offer to attend university, tuition all paid. Since it hadn’t been a good time in her life, she’d declined. How she longed for something more, maybe a new beginning of her own.

But what?

A tall figure filled her gaze. Julie squinted, as it was hard to make out who it could be. Stepping out of the reflection of the sun and strolling toward her was Lorcan Byrne.

Was fate supplying an answer to her hypothetical question?

Julie wasn’t sure if it was the bright sun or Lorcan himself that made her corneas burn.

Maybe both.

The slight breeze caught his hair, and a few strands blew across his face. His hair had a deep, lustrous sheen with a mixture of black and brown shades. Stunning man.

But why is he here?

He stopped in front of her. “Hello, Julie. Mind if I sit for a moment?”

The small park bench was built for two, but having Lorcan so close would send her senses on sensual overload. He smiled, his eyes crinkling adorably. Was he aware of the power he held over people when he did that?

Julie shoved her half-eaten food in her lunch bag and stood. “I was going for a walk—”

“I’ll come with you unless you’d rather I leave.”

What could she say without sounding rude? Curiosity had her wondering why he’d sought her out, considering they’d only seen each other yesterday. And she had said no to his invitations.

“Let’s go for a walk, then,” Julie said, and they soon fell into step as Lorcan shortened his stride to fit hers.

“I was on my way to the club and thought I’d swing by. Veronica told me you were in the park.”

“You wanted to speak to me?” she asked.

“Aye. I’m not a man that gives in. I like a challenge. Or maybe I’m stubborn. As for our last meeting, I’ll it that two rejections within minutes stung.”

Julie snorted. “Not used to it, I’ll bet.”

Lorcan chuckled. “You’re the first.”

Somehow, she had no problem believing him.

“Why are you here?” she asked, genuinely curious.

“Not a stalker, I swear. I thought I would try one last time. Dinner? This Saturday night?”

Julie stopped walking and turned to face him. “You are stubborn. Why ask me out?”

“Come to dinner with me and find out.” He gave her a glorious smile, one that made her insides melt.

Why not give this beyond-handsome man a go? It was only dinner. Besides, she wanted to know why he insisted on this. Judging him by his looks was a mistake, a lesson that had been hard-learned on her end.

Another reason she had refused his invitation?

After mulling over it over last night, she realized that her self-protection mechanism clicked into place out of habit more than anything else.

Time for a dose of ice-cold reality.

Julie had always been honest—especially with herself. She was not a great beauty, but neither was she “plain as muck.”

What her cousin had said to her the night they met Nick and Lorcan at the pub— resonated. “You’re good enough for any man.”

Ronnie was right.

Julie nodded. “Okay, sure. Dinner.”

“Brilliant! I’ll pick you up at the bakery when it closes. Six o’clock on Saturday, right?”

“Right.”

He gave her that solar-heating grin, a brief wave, then turned and strode away.

With the last of her doubts pushed away, Julie was looking forward to this, more than she wanted to it.

Chapter 2

Lorcan sat in The Playpen’s office, gazing at the laptop sitting in front of him. Examining the latest monthly summaries, he was pleased with the positive results. Lorcan has been here as manager for close to two months, and profits in the bar had increased twenty-one percent. His De Luca relatives had no complaint there.

Sitting back in the swivel chair, Lorcan clasped his hands behind his head. The bass from the music in the bar rattled the pictures on the wall. His cousin, Sully, was out front running things. Sully had recently arrived from being on tour with Brogan’s rock band.

The De Lucas was his relatives from his maternal side, while Ronan and Sully were his cousins on his fraternal side of the family.

Bleedin’ hell, bringing Ronan had been a mistake.

Ronan had all but itted that he had set fire to Nick’s bar. But only after Lorcan threw him against a wall and threatened to thump the ever-living shite out of him. He and his cousin had a contentious relationship from the time they were lads. Nothing had changed in all these years.

The fire department investigators and the police recently concluded that unknown teenagers seen in the area had started the blaze.

Lorcan had let the report stand, seeing no need to stir the pot.

After his confrontation with his cousin, he and Sully immediately shoved Ronan on a plane for Ireland. It was surprising that he actually went. The threats had worked.

But before Ronan’s departure, he had placed Lorcan in his book of revenge. Ronan had been so upset, he threatened to put Sully there as well, meaning all those years Sully had been ive of Ronan amounted to nothing.

Sick beggar. Good riddance.

It didn’t sit well keeping this information from Nick, but protecting his family came first, no matter that Ronan deserved to pay for his actions, legally or otherwise.

Also, he owed Ronan a past debt. His cousin had once taken the fall for him when they were teens, concerning petty larceny. Well, the obligation was now paid as far as Lorcan was concerned.

It didn’t lessen the guilt, but he carried a shiteload around already, so what if he added more to the pile? When it came down to it, he was protecting Nick as well. His friend would have gone ballistic, and if the De Lucas were dragged

into it—it didn’t bear thinking about.

The door swung open and banged against the wall.

Speak of the ever-living devils.

His uncle, Vinnie De Luca, and his oldest son, Liam, Lorcan’s cousin, strode into the room. At fifty-eight, Uncle Vinnie cut an imposing figure. Six feet tall and powerfully built, he exuded an aura of danger. His hair, while mostly white, had a sprinkling of black threads throughout. His eyes were an eerie silver-gray color, and his stare intimidating.

Liam was a younger version of Vinnie, though two inches taller, more handsome, and even more powerfully built. His thick black hair was cut in short layers, curling at the nape. A closely-cropped goatee surrounded his unsmiling mouth. His gaze was as penetrating and piercing as his father’s, and the eyes the exact same shade of silver-gray.

If you looked up dark and brooding in the dictionary, you would find a picture of Liam. Neither man was to be messed with.

The thing of it was, his extended De Luca family did not exactly reside on the right side of the law, though The Playpen was one of their legitimate businesses.

Lorcan didn’t flinch from the intense expressions. His arms stayed casually folded behind his head.

“What can I do for you, Uncle? Cousin?”

Liam closed the door while Vinnie took a seat in front of him. Liam ed his father in the chair close by.

Lorcan felt a knot form in his gut. “Is there a problem?”

Vinnie shook his head. “None whatsoever. In fact, I’m impressed with the way you have turned things around here at The Playpen in such a short period. Maybe you’re ready for more responsibility, Nephew. So, I had a look at your resume—”

“I never gave you a resume.”

“That’s right, even though you are family, we did a little digging.” Vinnie inclined his head toward Liam.

His cousin reached into the side pocket of his leather coat and pulled out sheets of paper. “There is more to you than we were led to believe,” Liam stated.

Lorcan arched an eyebrow. “Is that a fact?”

He bloody well knew it was a fact but was intrigued that his extended family

bothered to check him out. He should have guessed that they would. Caution was the name of the game in their line of business. He sat up straight in his chair, crossing his leg over his knee.

“Corporal in the Irish Defense Forces, deployed in Liberia. Also served in Darfur and Chad. Rose to the rank of Lieutenant. Member of the Irish Secret Service. Worked closely with MI5 on terrorist activities in Ireland and the U.K., also worked briefly as a private contractor and a transporter. Last assignment was about five months ago for Alaish el-Fasih in Abu Dhabi, as his driver and bodyguard,” Liam concluded.

“Are you still in the employment of the Irish Secret Service?” Vinnie asked pointedly.

“Would I be here running a dance club if I was? No, Uncle, I’m out. I commend you on your thorough background check.” Lorcan smiled without warmth.

Leave it to his gangster family to go digging in his past. A past, for the most part, he tried like hell to forget.

“And it’s not called the Irish Secret Service,” Lorcan added. “I worked for the NSIS, the National Security Intelligence Section of the Directorate of Military Intelligence.”

“You’re a dark horse, Lorcan. Never would have expected such varied former occupations,” Liam said.

“Why? You don’t know me. We’ve had no face-to-face since I was twelve and none at all since Auntie Caitrin ed.”

There was a brief sadness reflected in his uncle’s eyes at the mention of his late wife, but he recovered quickly enough, the steely gaze returned.

“It’s why we checked up on you. You should’ve told us,” Uncle Vinnie onished.

“Why? My previous occupations weren’t relevant to the temporary job offered. Besides, you never asked.”

“Okay, Nephew, we’ll let it slide. One last question: did the NSIS ever ask ?”

Lorcan would give his uncle props; he was shrewd. “They did, but since you were considered local, low-grade gangsters from across the pond, and ones I’ve had no communication with for years, it was decided it would not reflect on me. No offense.”

Liam growled, but Uncle Vinnie gave a half-smirk at the comment. “I have a proposition. A job offer. We will leave the running of this club to Sullivan. Your cousin has proven to be capable. I wish for you to be my driver. Exclusively. Although, if Sully has any questions about the club, I want him to come to you and for you to be available to assist if needed.”

“A driver?” Lorcan questioned.

“A driver—and a bodyguard will be your main focus. Let’s say for the remainder of your work visa to start. Triple what you’re making now. If it works out, we can make arrangements to make the employment more permanent. I will need a vehicle, a safe but fast one. I usually rent or lease, but I want this car purchased. What would you recommend?” Uncle Vinnie asked.

“A Mercedes AMG S65, if cost is no object. The price is around one hundred and eighty-one thousand pounds, or close to two hundred and thirty-five thousand dollars fully loaded—”

Uncle Vinnie held up his hand to cut him off. “See it done. Order it right away.”

“Is there a contract I sign?” Lorcan asked. It might be prudent to get this on paper, or then again, maybe not.

His uncle reached his hand across the desk. “This is the only contract we need. Besides, we’re family.”

Lorcan hesitated. “I prefer running this place, staying on the legit side, you follow? I don’t need the heat on me while I’m in a foreign country.”

“As I said, Sullivan can handle the club. I won’t ask you to do anything beyond a driver. Legit it is.”

Lorcan still didn’t reach out to shake on the job offer.

He was comfortable running the club and keeping a low profile. Yet, being a driver was something he had done many times before, and for men, much more dangerous than Uncle Vinnie.

Working as a driver offered an opportunity for mindless, brain-numbing downtime.

Isn’t that what he came to America for?

“Consider the AMG a g bonus. At the end of the term, it’s yours,” Uncle Vinnie offered.

Bloody hell, what a temptation.

And it was one Lorcan would be a fool to up. He had panted after that car for donkey’s years. He could afford to buy his own but hadn’t been in one place long enough to purchase a vehicle.

But Uncle Vinnie didn’t know that.

Lorcan had learned while with the NSIS how to hide money from inquisitive people or governments.

He let out a hard breath. “Just to be clear, it’s only driving?”

Uncle Vinnie nodded. “And being my bodyguard, as I said. And on any occasion, Sullivan has a question. There might be an instance that you will drive for Liam. But otherwise, you’re mine, beck, and call. Understand? If you agree, I will need you to sign an NDA.”

“A non-disclosure agreement, Uncle Vinnie?”

“Family or not, I need to know that anything you overhear goes no further, understand?”

“Aye, I follow.”

Lorcan looked at the outstretched hand as his uncle’s diamond pinkie ring caught the light above. He also wore a gold Patek Philippe. Lorcan figured the watch alone cost twenty-four thousand dollars.

The AMG would be a mere drop in the bucket to this bloke. Lorcan began to envision ways to ship the AMG to Ireland at the end of the contract. This would fit his plans perfectly.

Six months in The States—make a load of nicker, get the feck out.

Finally, he reached across the desk and clasped Uncle Vinnie’s outstretched hand; and shook it. “Done.”

His uncle stood. “As soon as you purchase the car, you’re my driver. You may have to go to Baltimore for it. Oh, one other thing. Cut the mop of hair. Short and neat.”

“Is there a uniform as well, along with a cap?” Lorcan asked sarcastically.

“No cap. I will require that you wear a suit; do you have one?” Uncle Vinnie asked.

“Not with me.” Lorcan had plenty in storage back in Ireland.

“Black, white shirt, black tie. Give me the bill, I’ll pay. Liam is not as fussy.”

Liam stood as well, slipping the papers in his side pocket. “Just dress business casual for me. As far as the car, you can order it over the Internet and arrange delivery by next week. The Lincoln Navigator you drive. It’s one of our leases, correct?”

“No, I leased it in my name, but you’ve been paying for it.”

“I’ll be taking it over. Mags wants a big SUV; this will suit her.”

Uncle Vinnie curled his lip at the mention of the lady’s name but said nothing.

“Let me know the final sticker price. I’ll send the money to you,” Liam continued. “The car will be ed in your name, and your name is to be on the bill of sale. Cash only. No connection back to us.”

Lorcan pushed back his seat, stood, and nodded. “And how am I to explain a huge cash purchase in case your government comes asking questions?”

“Set up an LLC. You don’t have to be a citizen to do it. Use the car as a writeoff. I doubt the government will come asking, but if they do, we can provide loan papers. Is that sufficient? Is this a done deal?”

Lorcan already had more than one LLC, but his uncle didn’t need to know that either.

“Aye, consider it done.”

The men turned and left.

He would need a gun.

Funny that they never mentioned it, as they must have assumed he had one.

Lorcan didn’t. He’d disposed of his firearms long ago.

* * *

Julie sat nervously on her kitchen stool with her dye-coated hair piled loosely on the top of her head, her nose prickling from the chemical smell. The fruity scent was supposed to mask the ammonia odor, but it wasn’t working.

“How long will this take?” she whined.

Ronnie glanced at the oven timer. “Another fifteen minutes. Hang in there.”

Julie reached for the box. “Champagne Blonde? I thought we were only adding highlights?”

Ronnie waved her hand in dismissal. “Highlights are such a bother. You have to poke hair strands through a cap, coat each piece—no, this is better. It’s only a couple of shades lighter than your light brown color.”

Julie remained unconvinced.

Blonde-ish? Me? Why not?

“Okay, Let’s give it a whirl,” Julie capitulated. “The smell, though.”

“It will be over soon. Can I just say I’m so glad you’re taking the bakery apartment?”

“Me too.”

Julie had given a month’s notice to the landlord this morning. She was on a month-to-month lease, and he had generously offered to let her out in two weeks, without penalty or rent for the rest of the thirty-day notice.

Veronica was leaving behind most of the furniture. It was in better condition than what she owned. Also, more money in her pocket meant she could keep working at the bakery, which she enjoyed very much. Trying to find another job at this juncture would be a massive pain.

But what thoughts crowded her mind more than the move?

Her nerves twitched just thinking about sharing a meal with Lorcan Byrne.

A date. When was the last time she’d been on one?

It had been three years. The last time Julie had sex, too. The experience had been

lackluster, to say the least.

So, to recap: Lorcan had arrived from Ireland about two months ago. He worked for the DeLucas, his extended family, running their club, The Playpen, complete with exotic dancers. He claimed that he was legitimate. Nick and Ronnie believed him. Guess she did, too, or she wouldn’t have agreed to dinner.

The De Lucas, however, were bad news, not that she knew them except to see. Liam and Kieran were a few years older, and the youngest daughter, Regan, had been shunted off to a private high school, so Julie didn’t know her either. Vinnie had married an Irish girl, Lorcan’s aunt. It was the reason the De Luca siblings had Irish first names.

What had Lorcan done for a living in Ireland? Did she want to go out with a guy, beyond the dinner date, who managed a dance club and worked for and was related to local gangsters?

Julie glanced at her cousin, who had spoken highly of Lorcan on more than one occasion.

Any man that would run into a burning building to save his friend was worth Julie’s attention. And Lorcan had done that by saving Nick from his bar fire.

There was no denying it: Lorcan mesmerized her.

The man always seemed to be in a good mood. Gloomy didn’t seem to be part of

his makeup; either that or he kept it well hidden.

It’s only dinner.

Yes, she would make an effort here and keep the anxiety from surfacing.

Ronnie sat in the nearby chair. “Okay, Julie. Spill. Lorcan told Nick he’s taking you out to dinner this Saturday night. You never said a word to me!”

“He first tossed out the offer a few weeks back. A polite dinner—not a date.”

Ronnie snorted. “He actually said that, not a date?”

Julie absently looked at her nails. “Well—no. I called it a date. He said okay.”

Ronnie crossed her arms. “Are you going to start this again, thinking you’re not good enough for him? Because I’ll leave right now and let you rinse that gunk out of your hair all alone.”

How to explain how she felt when she hadn’t even quite worked it out in her own mind?

“He affects me. Being near him brings up old hurts and memories which have

nothing at all to do with him. It makes no sense. I haven’t experienced those vulnerable feelings in years and, I don’t like it. The only way not to have those toxic emotions is to dodge him at all costs. But,” her voice softened. “I don’t want to avoid him. I’m in a real pickle.”

“I haven’t known Lorcan very long, but I trust him. He’s a decent guy. I feel it here.” Ronnie laid her fist against her stomach. “Nick doesn’t offer his friendship readily, but he sensed something honorable about Lorcan. Once you get to know him better, you’ll see what we mean.”

“Maybe.”

“You’re attracted to him for more than his stunning looks, right?”

Julie remained silent.

Ronnie laughed. “Okay, maybe not.”

“You’re right. I don’t know Lorcan. Yes, his looks caught my attention. So, flip that coin over—what does he see in me?”

The buzzer dinged.

Ronnie pulled Julie from her stool and dragged her toward the bathroom. “That’s why you’re going out to dinner with him, to find out.”

Ronnie pushed Julie to her knees by the side of the tub and reached for the shower hose. Turning on the taps, she held her hand under the water to gauge the temperature.

Speaking more loudly, her cousin said, “It’s like it says in that old song—it’s in his kiss. You’ll be able to tell. And he’ll kiss you, I know it. Listen to me, quoting song lyrics like Nick.”

“He’s already kissed me,” Julie mumbled.

“What?” Ronnie yelled. “When? Where?”

“Don’t go batshit, Ronnie. Only my hand.”

Ronnie rinsed Julie’s hair and then rubbed conditioner through the strands coating the ends. “How chivalrous, how—white knight-ish. How did it feel?”

“Like he shoved my hand into a roaring fireplace,” Julie replied.

“Well, there’s no mistaking how you feel about his touch. And, hey, I saw the way he stared at you at the White Owl Pub. He’s intrigued.”

Really?

“Look, Julie, be yourself. He’s just a man with all his own faults and baggage. And this dinner will give you a little insight on him, and if you want to even consider being his baggage handler.” She gave Julie’s hair a last squeeze and turned the water off. “Three minutes for the conditioner.”

Julie straightened, then sputtered as water ran into her mouth. She sat on the edge of the tub. “He’s not the only one with baggage—wait, how do you know he has ‘baggage?’” Julie made little air quotes with her fingers.

“Everyone does. Nick has a luggage carousel full. I have some, too. But it turns out that we share the load. Anyway, my point is—be yourself. You’re funny and sweet. You could be just what he’s looking for.”

As her head went under the hose again, Julie reflected on her cousin’s sage advice.

Be yourself.

Easier said than done.

Chapter 3

The night couldn’t be more perfect. Lorcan drove toward Coburg Street in the car of his dreams. There was no waiting for delivery as a Mercedes dealer in Baltimore had an AMG S65 on the lot, the exact silver color and features he desired.

Feckin’ karma.

How long had he yearned for this automobile? It was part sports car and part limousine. The vehicle brought luxury and blinding speed together in a seductive package. The engine purred at idle and snarled at a slight push of the accelerator. It cornered, moved, and braked like a dream.

Lorcan couldn’t help but smile and feel a little giddy over the acquisition. This car was worth every moment that he drove his uncle and cousin.

He ran his fingers through his much shorter hair: so was the haircut. It had gone from chin length to cut up neat and layered around his ears. It should satisfy his fussy uncle. Also bought two suits; one was in a garment bag in the trunk.

With a squeal of rubber, Lorcan pulled into the parking lot of Titus Bakery. Julie was glancing up the street. The look on her face was expectant. That gave his

heart a jolt for good measure.

A thought struck him.

She’d be looking for the Lincoln Navigator.

Hardly had time to think about tonight since he’d been busy all week, preoccupied with purchasing the car and—other things. A new iPhone sat in his pocket, but only Uncle Vinnie and Liam had the number.

He glanced at the glove compartment. Procuring the handgun hadn’t been easy, but as soon as he mentioned it to Liam, the request for a SIG Sauer P229 pistol had been filled with little effort. The gun was locked away in a drop-down shelf in the glove compartment.

Bloody James Bond.

Lorcan figured acting as driver and bodyguard to a mobster couldn’t be much different than working for a member of the Saudi Royal family or an oil baron in Dubai.

But he hoped neither De Luca called him tonight. Lorcan wanted to spend time with Julie. There was something about her that fascinated him, and even though he wasn’t looking for anything long-term, a dinner date wouldn’t hurt.

Or maybe even a date or two beyond tonight, who knows?

She was the first woman in a long time to spark his interest. That fact alone was worth investigating.

He removed his sunglasses and tossed them on the dash.

He opened the door and stood. Julie’s eyes widened, then she disappeared from the window. Lorcan found her bashful reaction enchanting and adorable.

The fact that she didn’t hide her emotions might be one reason he was intrigued by her.

The bell tingled above the door as he strode in. Julie was perched on the stool behind the counter.

Lorcan stopped dead in his tracks.

Her hair was lighter, with gold and bronze shades mixed together and styled to frame her face. The color made her gorgeous eyes even more wondrous. She wore a tight sweater with gold and brown accents, and a fair amount of cleavage showed. Lorcan itched to cup those luscious breasts. Arousal gripped him tight, stirring his cock to life.

“Julie. You look beautiful,” he whispered with awe.

He wasn’t lying. He held out his hand, and Julie took it. “You’ve done your hair. Like ribbons of golden sun.”

He dropped her hand and stepped close, and her breasts brushed against his chest.

Lorcan bit back a groan, then framed her face and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. Julie’s stunning eyes glittered as she stared up at him. “Brings out those adorable gold flecks in your lovely eyes, darlin’.”

“Thank you,” she murmured.

Her vulnerable response touched him in a deep uncharted area of his heart. He tilted her face up to meet his gaze. “I’ve been aching to do this since that night at the pub. Indulge me. Only a taste.”

His lips barely touched hers, but it sent roaring heat to all parts of his body. Lorcan suddenly had a vision of sprawling her across the counter and plunging into her feminine heat.

Where did that come from? Just from an innocent kiss?

He didn’t dare kiss those luscious lips anymore, or he’d lose all control. Julie’s eyes were closed, and her lips still slightly puckered. A slight whimper of protest came from her when he moved away.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Lorcan smiled broadly. “You’re welcome. You’d best prepare yourself, Julie. Whenever we find ourselves alone like this, I will be kissing you. You’ll never know when it’s coming or just how wicked it will be.”

Her eyes snapped opened. “Wicked?”

“Aye, I’ve been told I’ve a wicked kiss.” He winked teasingly. “Shall we head out? Nick recommended this place so if it’s no good, we can blame him.”

Julie smiled and nodded. He took her hand.

Simmering flame, bloody hell.

* * *

Julie could not keep her iring gaze from checking out the vehicle, which fit Lorcan perfectly. They both were sleek, powerful, and dazzling.

The silver sports car had a dashboard that resembled the cockpit of a plane. Van Halen played, and even though the music wasn’t loud, her seat vibrated from the bass. Were there speakers under the seats? She wouldn’t be surprised.

Julie’s insides still swirled from his gentle, soul-stirring kiss. Ronnie had spoken the truth.

It’s in his kiss.

There was no doubt about it, and the revelation had her stunned.

He’d said she looked beautiful—and she was. She touched her golden-bronze tresses. Her cousin was correct; this color worked much better than highlights.

What did Lorcan call it? Ribbons of golden sun.

Talk. Say something.

“You like Van Halen?” she asked.

Lorcan lowered his sunglasses to the edge of his nose, and those Cortina eyes twinkled mischievously. “Aye, though I’m not into classic rock as much as Nick is. What did you think I would be listening to, The Irish Rovers?”

She giggled. “Well, I thought maybe U2 at the very least.”

“Aye, I like them, too. What Irishman doesn’t?”

“The Irish Rovers—they did that Unicorn song years back.”

“Brilliant! Two points for you, darlin’. I prefer the Chieftains if we’re talking Irish-themed folk music. Basically, I like all types of music. Blues, classical, rock. How about you?”

“Yes. I do, too. As far as classic rock, I only recognized Van Halen because my dad likes them. I haven’t listened to much classical, though,” she replied.

Lorcan pushed his sunglasses back up and hit a button on the steering wheel. “Classical music.”

The elegant tones of violins enveloped the interior of the car.

“Linguatronic Voice Command. Though, I don’t care much for talking to an automobile.” He smiled. “The music is “Pachelbel Canon in D Major,” and I didn’t look at the screen.”

“It’s lovely. Oh, leave it there.” She leaned back and closed her eyes.

They were quiet the rest of the way to the restaurant. She felt so relaxed, the exact opposite of how she thought she would be feeling. Julie breathed deeply. A combination of new car smell with Lorcan’s cologne mixed together in an

invigorating scent.

Julie’s thoughts drifted into a pleasant daydream. She and Lorcan walked along the beach, hand in hand, smiling.

By the time Lorcan pulled into the parking lot of the downtown restaurant, she’d nearly fallen asleep.

“Wake up, darlin’. We’re here.”

“Oh, did I sleep? I’m so sorry. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. Always drifting off in the car—Oh, God. I wasn’t drooling!”

Lorcan laughed. “The drool was adorable, a stóirín.”

What had he called her? A storeen? Was it Celtic?

Lorcan gallantly opened the door and offered his hand. She took it, and that familiar spark of heat tore up her arm and traveled to all parts of her body.

She glanced at the restaurant’s facade. The Chop Steakhouse? The place was expensive, or so she’d heard.

She glanced at Lorcan. He wore tan Dockers with a long-sleeved brown shirt that lay open at the neck with the cuffs neatly turned up, showing lean, muscular forearms. A silver chain with a small medallion on it nestled between what she imagined was two perfectly muscled pecs. He wore brown leather loafers and appeared relaxed and sexy.

After they were shown to their seats, Lorcan ordered a bottle of white wine. He placed his iPhone on the table.

“I’m hoping we’ll be able to enjoy this meal undisturbed, but there’s the chance this phone will ring. If so, I’ll have to take you home. I’ve started a new job with the De Lucas.”

Julie tried to sound light despite the alarm clanging in her head. “Oh, what new job?”

He inclined his head toward the parking lot. “The car was a g bonus. I’m to be Uncle Vinnie’s driver for the next few months. I’ll be at his beck and call. He said he didn’t need me tonight, but that could change.”

Julie had no idea what to say.

Vinnie De Luca’s driver? Whoa.

Did that mean he was no longer on the legit side? Wouldn’t he see and overhear things? Illegal things?

She cleared her throat and was about to speak, but the waiter returned. The young man made a big production out of opening the wine, pouring it, and letting Lorcan inhale its essence. Lorcan nodded, and the waiter left. He picked up the bottle and poured her a little more.

“I thought you might like this, a little aperitif. Thought we would talk before we order. I should warn you; I do like to chinwag.”

The wine tasted light, fruity, and delicious. “I love it.”

“Brilliant. I hoped you would. It’s a Sauvignon Blanc.” Lorcan glanced around. “Bloody posh, but I like the look of it. Nick says the steaks melt in your mouth.”

Sipping her wine, she looked around the restaurant. All the tables had high-back plush leather burgundy bench seats along with black marble tables, giving it a classy look. The light fixtures that hung low over every table resembled a burst of stars and cast a soft, romantic glow. She hadn’t been in a place this fancy since—well, ever.

Julie lowered her wine glass. “Why only a driver for a few months?”

“I’ll be heading back to Ireland when my temporary work visa expires toward the end of January, me and the S65.”

Her heart dropped like a large stone in the middle of a lake. Lorcan would only

be here temporarily.

Ronnie never said, but then again, perhaps Ronnie wasn’t aware of that fact. What little hope began to take root in her heart was now dashed and trashed.

No use becoming upset about it. Julie gave him the most radiant smile she could muster.

“Very nice g bonus. The car suits you, Lorcan.”

He leaned forward. “You said my name. Say it again.” His voice was low and husky, the musical lilt sending ripples of desire along her spine.

Had she not said it before to him? Maybe not.

“Lorcan, Lorcan—Lorcan. There, that should be enough.” She gave him another smile because the narrowing of his eyes when she had said his name had the look of longing. A blatant yearning, which thrilled her clear to her toes.

“Sorry to change the subject,” she said. “I have to ask this: a driver for your uncle. Are you still legit?”

Julie may have just killed the mood. But she had to know before this went any further.

“Aye. Driver-bodyguard, nothing more. I made it plain to my extended family, and it was agreed upon.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Because if you were on the other side, I don’t want any part of it. Or you. Sorry to be blunt.”

The heated look was replaced by one of empathy. “I understand, more than you know. Be blunt as much as you like, and you can ask me anything you like, darlin’.”

“Do you have family back in Ireland?”

He took a sip of wine. “Aye, my parents, and besides me, six brothers and sisters. A huge group of cousins, uncles, and aunts. Grandparents. You name it.”

“Six siblings?”

“Oh, aye, a huge clan. At thirty-three, I’m the oldest. My brother, Dylan, is the next oldest—my Irish twin.”

“Irish twin?”

“He’s about eleven months younger, what is referred to sarcastically as an Irish

twin. Next is Brogan, two sisters: Alannah and Casey, another brother, Reese, and brother Cillian. He just turned twenty. My parents still live in the same flat in Dublin that I grew up in. I haven’t been home much the past twelve years or so. How about you?”

“I’ve no siblings, and my parents moved to Philadelphia recently. I see them quite a bit as it’s not that far away. When Dad retires in a couple of years, they’ll be moving back here. My grandparents live in Oklahoma. I keep in close touch.”

Lorcan’s gaze turned intense once again, causing her stomach to dip. “This isn’t some ‘get-to-know-you-as-friends-only’ dinner. I’d like us to see each other, you follow?”

See each other? To what purpose since he will be leaving in January?

Rapidly changing emotions moved through her. A meaningless fling? The occasional get-together? A hook-up? Why bother seeing her at all if he was only here short-term? How to answer him? Standoffish? Eager? Somewhere in between?

Being used was not on her Lorcan bingo card. At thirty-three, she was not looking for much of anything at all. So, if the ‘not looking for anything’ was the case, why not keep this neutral? Emotionless? Infrequent?

Julie was about to form a reply when the rambunctious young waiter returned with pen poised to take their order.

“I’ll have the peppercorn steak, medium,” Lorcan said, “And with it, a baked potato, steamed vegetables, along with a spinach salad appetizer.”

Both men looked at her, waiting for her to speak.

The emotions rolling through her were a toxic mix, moving between disappointment and confusion. Julie became ravenously hungry. Not a good sign as it meant her anxiety was spiking. It hadn’t done that in ages.

“I’ll have the twelve-ounce porterhouse, medium, with onion rings,” Was she crazy? Not only was it way more than she could eat, but expensive, too. “Scratch that.”

“Scratch the onion rings or the whole order?” The waiter asked politely.

Scratch this whole night.

Exhaling, Julie gained control. “The six-ounce striploin, medium, garlic green beans, garden salad, ranch dressing.”

“Right away. Can I interest you in one of our appetizers?” Julie shook her head.

Finally, the waiter moved away.

Lorcan took her hand. “What’s going on, Julie? You’ve got a strange look on your face.”

“Nothing.” At least, nothing she could readily explain.

“Is there a man in your life?”

“No.” Julie bit out. “There’s no man in my life, and I don’t want one.”

She sounded like a petulant six-year-old being forced to eat broccoli.

Lorcan released her hand. “Then why did you agree to this? I said it was a date. You enjoyed the kiss. Don’t deny it.”

Chapter 4

Julie honestly didn’t know what else to say. Enjoy it? Yes, she enjoyed the kiss, and she wanted more, but what would be the point?

An uncomfortable silence enveloped them. Her plan for staying calm and reasonable broke into shards.

“This is turning into that night at the pub with Nick and Veronica. The awkwardness and tension. If you’re not interested in seeing me, say so. It will end tonight.” Lorcan’s voice was flat and devoid of emotion, a tone she’d never heard him use before.

At this juncture, she might as well speak her mind. “Call me suspicious, but I don’t understand why a man like you would be remotely interested in me. Unless you think I’m someone to the time with until you leave. Someone to use. I won’t be used.”

Lorcan crossed his arms. All traces of the light-hearted tease were gone.

“‘A man like me.’ Is that an insult? And why wouldn’t I be interested in you? I thought we might enjoy each other’s company. At the pub, you captivated me, even though you looked at me like I was a pile of dog shite. You certainly

cringed when I touched you.”

“I never thought that,” she cried indignantly. “And a ‘man like me’ means you’re too handsome. You’re too much of everything.” She hesitated for a few moments. “I didn’t cringe. Your touch was electric. I liked it. Pulling away was not intentional, believe me.”

The waiter bounded back, setting the salads in front of her and Lorcan. He must have sensed the tension, for he made a swift exit.

Damn her insecurities and the utter despair rolling through her in hearing that he would be leaving. It had smashed her carefully crafted control. Insecurities that she had defeated ages ago surfaced once again for no logical reason.

Lorcan deserved honesty. Her behavior had been weird enough ever since she’d first laid eyes on him.

“I’m sorry, Lorcan. Chalk up my erratic behavior to the apprehensions of a former fat girl. I thought I’d moved past these feelings, but seeing and talking to you brought back horrid memories. Rationally, I know those recollections have nothing to do with you, but they broke through anyway.”

She laughed shakily. “I first ordered the massive steak dish because emotions and food always went hand-in-hand. Sometimes, rarely, it still flares up. Obviously. I swear this is not me.”

Lorcan’s look softened. “I appreciate you being honest. People can be bloody cruel, and I apologize once again for my shite cousin. What he said at the pub is not true at all. He likes to twist the knife.”

“In other words, he sensed my vulnerability, though it was buried deep, and honed in on it and used it. A true bully.”

“That he is, and he’s long gone. Back to Ireland, where he belongs. And you stood up to him, and the rest of us, saying you could handle it, that you didn’t need us to interfere. I ire that. Now, I can call the waiter over and cancel our orders. Whatever you want. Just tell me.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine. Let’s eat.” She smiled, and he returned it.

Talking this out lifted what remaining anxiety dwelled within her.

“Sounds like a plan. All sorted. Let’s start over, yeah? But make no mistake: I do want us to see each other. Will you go for it?”

Temporary or not, she decided then and there.

Why not see him? Why not enjoy his company for as long as it lasts?

“Yes, I’ll go for it.”

* * *

Considering its shaky start, the rest of the meal went better than Lorcan could’ve hoped for. Julie’s unexpected confession had explained her behavior since they first met at the White Owl Pub. The courage it took in confessing her personal anxieties touched his heart. Maybe it would give him the courage to someday confess his own.

“You said you’ve traveled all over the world, where?” she asked.

“It all started when I ed the Army soon after school. I’ve been involved with peacekeeping missions all over. Since I left the service three years ago, I’ve been wandering, taking odd jobs. Like the one here. I’ve been to most countries in Europe, the Middle East, Africa. This is the first time I’ve been to North America.”

“I’m envious. I’ve hardly traveled out of the Northeastern U.S. I always wanted to but never had the money. I’d love to go to the U.K.—and Canada, I’ve never been.”

“Living out of a suitcase is tedious. Yet, I keep doing it. Restless, I suppose.” He cut into a section of his steak. Lorcan didn’t want to delve too deeply into his past.

At least, not tonight.

“That meal was delicious.” Julie excused herself and headed toward the restroom.

The waiter stood at his elbow. “Can I get you anything else, sir?”

“I’ll wait until the lady returns.”

The waiter hurried off to take care of his other customers. Lorcan’s thoughts returned to Julie.

Food issues.

He was lucky, genetically speaking. Lorcan could eat pretty much anything, not that he wanted to. His iration for Julie increased, not only for being brave in revealing her past but in dealing with it head-on. Aye, he should take a page from her book.

What did he want here?

Lorcan had the distinct feeling underneath the mix of courage and vulnerability lurked a ionate woman. It was a relief to hear she liked it when he touched her at the pub that night.

His own electric reaction had surprised him. Never had such a roar of stimulating heat moved through him before. Lorcan had been with many women, and not once had there been even a slight jolt. Well, not at that intensity.

Besides getting to know Julie better, he wanted those lush curves wrapped around him. He wanted her screaming his name to the heavens as he thrust inside her.

But it wasn’t merely physical. Lorcan genuinely liked her.

Still, the fact he’d be leaving soon meant no complications or entanglements. Hurting Julie was the last thing he wanted to do.

I should walk the feck away.

Lorcan would be upfront and honest about the fact he was only interested in a short-term—affair? Relationship? Fling? Liaison? Connection? Association? Friendship with benefits? He cringed at that last one, as he’d used the phrase before. And, in those instances, friendship wasn’t even on his radar.

With Julie, he wished to explore the possibility of a closer, intimate connection, but one without life-altering commitments. Could it be possible?

He was attracted to her on many levels, and such an ission could be dangerous emotionally. Lorcan had enough of danger in his life—and heartbreak.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted his reverie, and he looked up to see Julie had returned.

“You’re deep in thought.”

“Nothing too serious,” Lorcan replied. “You never mentioned my haircut. What do you think? Uncle Vinnie made it a prerequisite of my employment.”

She cocked her head as if studying him. “I liked the longer hair on you. Not many men can pull it off. But I like the shorter hair, too. Let’s face it, you could have no hair at all and look mighty fine.” Julie gave him a teasing wink.

Then she curled her fingers tightly around his, sending another flare of electricity up his arm. “You don’t need to be told you’re good looking, Lorcan. You know that you are.”

He looked down at the small hand, all but lost in his much larger one.

“Aye,” he said softly. “I know it, but I like hearing it from you. Means more to me than all those shallow declarations from others put together.”

Julie gazed at him with such tenderness it took his breath away.

Something—ed between them. What, Lorcan wasn’t sure.

The mood dissipated as soon the waiter appeared. “Anything else, sir?”

Lorcan glanced at Julie. “Coffee, drink? Dessert?”

She smiled. “I couldn’t possibly.”

“Just the check.”

With the bill paid, Lorcan and Julie headed outside to the parking lot. Gray clouds smothered the moon and stars, causing the sky to appear darker than usual. Lorcan glanced at his watch; it was nine o’clock.

Take her home? Go for a drive? Suggest coffee at his place?

Standing close, he savored her nearness. Lorcan reached for her hands; the touch sizzled and aroused him. With a swift, bold move, he pulled Julie close against the hardness of him. Intense, roiling heat ed between them.

Slowly, Lorcan backed away, only a step or two, enough to gaze down into those gorgeous eyes.

The pull. A connection. A purpose.

Neither spoke nor looked away. This had been building all during the dinner. The potent undercurrent of a mutual desire, mixed with Julie’s raw honesty and underlying vulnerability.

Lorcan released her hands and raised his to her cheeks. The feel of her soft, silky skin.

All of this lay beyond his experience.

Their gazes met and held again. Julie’s eyes were wide and bright with life and feeling. A warm breeze blew a strand of hair across her forehead, and Lorcan gently tucked it behind her ear.

Julie sighed and leaned into his touch.

Her lips, so inviting.

Lorcan tangled his fingers in her lovely hair. Julie’s eyes were still closed, her head back. The look of desire on her face sent his blood to the boiling point. His breathing became a little uneven, as did hers.

He wanted her, but it was more than the lust roaring through him. His insides thrummed as if all his senses were on high alert. Everything was homed in and

concentrating on this woman as if the rest of the world no longer existed. His heart banged against his ribcage.

He ached to press her lips against his. He wanted to mold her body to his, revel in her softness, and let her feel how she affected him.

Lorcan backed her up to the side of the building. They stood in the shadow and would not be seen. Julie gasped at the sudden movement.

He had to kiss her. He had to do it before someone came out and broke this— spell. “We’re alone, Julie.”

He hardly recognized his voice, huskier than he’d ever heard it. He lowered his head and kissed her thoroughly. Lorcan licked at the sides of her mouth.

“Let me in, darlin’,” he moaned.

She raised her arms and circled them about his neck. He took the lead and plunged in, taking the kiss deeper.

Julie Barnes was a ionate woman, for she met every thrust of his probing tongue with enthusiasm. A slight buzzing filled his hearing.

He wanted more. So much more. He wanted it all.

He wanted—everything.

Lorcan leaned in closer, pressing his body against hers. Julie let out a whimper that nearly had him spilling in his tros. Lorcan pressed his erection against her again and again.

He wanted to hear her moan. With every thrust and roll of his hips, she did. He reached around to cup her rear and brought her in even tighter, lifting her off the ground.

The kiss continued, desperate and ionate.

He was about to wrap her legs around his waist when he heard muted voices. A couple had exited from the restaurant. At the same exact moment, his iPhone vibrated in his pocket.

Reluctantly, he lowered Julie and stepped away. His hands shook as he retrieved the device.

“Byrne,” he said a little too loudly.

“Lorcan, it’s Liam. I need you to pick me up right away. My condo, seventy-five Carmarthen Street.”

Liam, the bugger. Lousy timing.

“Right, I’ll be there in a tick,” he replied. He clicked off and stuffed the mobile in his coat. “I’m sorry, darlin’. Duty calls. I’ll take you to your flat. Guess that was our goodnight kiss.”

As she stepped out of the shadow, he noticed Julie looked mussed and well kissed. “Wicked,” she murmured.

He opened the car door for her. “Aye. Wicked. You’ve been warned.”

Chapter 5

Lorcan parked on Carmarthen Street and waited. Why his cousin wanted a driver when he had taken over the lease on the Navigator; who knows? Guess he wished to have the extra layer of protection tonight.

The condo had been a recent purchase for Liam and his new girlfriend. Lorcan had overheard this tidbit of information at a card game at The Playpen.

No one liked to gossip more than a bunch of gangsters sitting around a table eating capicola sandwiches and playing poker. They gave blue-haired bridge ladies a run for their money.

The girlfriend in question was Margaret ‘Maggie’ Evans-Leary, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Captain Mike Leary of the Major Crime Unit of the Rockland City Police Department.

Apparently, Liam, Mike, Maggie, or “Mags,” as Liam called her, all grew up together. By the time they had reached their teens, both boys wanted Maggie. She wanted both of them.

Eventually, she chose Mike Leary, marrying him right out of high school and giving birth to twins barely a year after that. Liam had never forgotten her. Now,

he finally had her.

Lorcan shook his head in disbelief.

Fecking Coronation Street-style drama.

Liam approached the entrance, so Lorcan jumped out of the car and opened the rear door. Liam held his Mags possessively close, his arm an iron band around her waist. Lorcan had to it, she was stunningly beautiful. Tall and shapely with long sable-brown hair. No wonder his cousin and the police captain both wanted her.

With such a luscious and lovely lady living with him, why was Liam still tasting side dishes? For example, not two weeks past, one of the girls from The Playpen made it known she’d been with Liam. She had bragged about it when she’d made an offer to him, which Lorcan politely declined.

He didn’t take a man’s leavings, nor did he involve himself with anyone associated with any aspect of a business he was involved with unless a necessity like his past undercover work.

That’s if the woman was even telling the truth about the encounter. Lorcan had his doubts.

Mags gave Lorcan a brief nod, then climbed into the back seat. He moved to open the door for Liam, but he waved him off.

“The Starlight Room,” Liam called out as Lorcan slid into the driver’s seat.

Lorcan spoke the commands, and the GPS called up the map. Then he pulled out onto the street. He had the GPS voice set on British English because he still thought in kilometers. Plus, the female British accent was a taste of home and sounded a little throaty and sexy.

He glanced in the rear-view mirror. Liam had Mags curled in close, stroking her cheek affectionately while laying ionate kisses on her chin. By the besotted look on Liam’s face, he was deeply in love with this woman. His cousin usually acted emotionless and cold.

This was an eye-opener.

Liam murmured that he loved her, always did, and always would, and Mags whispered words of love breathlessly into Liam’s ear.

Lorcan looked away, and his heart swelled with envy.

He’d never said those words to any woman or felt anything close to the intense ion swirling all around him. The emotion left him feeling bereft for some reason. Lorcan shook his head to dismiss the thoughts, for he was not the maudlin type.

Liam kissed Mags deeply, oblivious to everything. Lorcan snapped the rear-view

mirror upward so he wouldn’t have to see them anymore.

Aye, he felt jealous for what Liam had. Not the woman herself, but the emotion and deep sentiment that Lorcan knew nothing about. He was filled with a wave of yearning, but by the time he pulled up to the front door of the club, he’d banked his mawkish response. He opened the doors for Liam and his lady.

“Do you want me to come in?” Lorcan asked.

Liam shrugged. “If you want. We won’t be here long.”

“I’ll be in shortly. I’ll keep a discreet distance.”

Liam nodded. “Appreciated.”

Lorcan reached for his leather jacket and slipped it on. Sitting on the enger seat, he took out his keys and unlocked the glove compartment. A shelf dropped down, and he removed the SIG and slipped it in his back waistband. He probably didn’t need the revolver, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

After locking the car, Lorcan entered the bar and was pleasantly surprised at the surroundings. He had assumed it would be a dance club with flashing strobe lights, loud techno music, and half-naked, stoned people dancing seductively.

This place was the furthest thing from that preconceived notion.

The posh piano bar had an oak-ed, classic look awash in muted, soft light. It consisted of booths and tables surrounded by half-walls which gave the seating arrangements an intimate feel. Lorcan immediately liked it.

A man dressed in a tux sat at a shiny black baby grand piano playing American standards. Sounded like “Someone to Watch Over Me.” He spotted Liam and Mags in a private corner booth. Liam inclined his head in acknowledgment and then returned his attention to the woman curled into his embrace. They were sharing a bottle of wine.

Lorcan took a seat at the bar. The bartender came right over. “Connemara, straight up.”

The man nodded. “Excellent choice, sir.”

Lorcan was impressed. It wasn’t easy to find the Irish peated, single malt whiskey here in The States. Feeling more relaxed, he glanced around the lounge. The decor was plush, rich, and pleasing. Liam had better taste than Lorcan expected.

He picked up the drink placed in front of him and took a sip. The liquor burned and caressed all the way down his throat.

Perhaps he could bring Julie here one night—why did he think of her?

Bloody hell, the kiss against the wall.

Even now, he became aroused thinking about Julie and her throaty, sexy moans and enthusiastic response.

Liam stood at his elbow, then cleared his throat as if to get his attention. But Lorcan had known he was there. Years of being a soldier-spy had made him completely aware of his surroundings.

“I usually use Paulie to drive me around. I won’t be calling on you too often. I had no choice tonight. Did I interrupt something?”

“I was on a dinner date but about to take her home. No worries, mate.”

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Liam’s voice softened as he glanced at his table.

“Your lovely lady? Aye. You’re a lucky bloke,” Lorcan said, his voice flat.

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Do I detect cynicism, Cousin?”

“Not at all. I only wondered—Nah, forget it.” Lorcan took another deep swig of his drink.

“Go ahead, speak your mind,” Liam said.

All the wine he had at dinner, and now the Irish whiskey, had loosened his tongue. Under normal circumstances, he kept his opinions to himself, especially when driving a client—extended family or not. Their lives and loves were none of his business and none of his concern.

“I wonder why with that lovely lass at your side, you still dip your wick with all those hangers-on. I’ve heard the talk. It’s obvious you love the woman and have for a long time.”

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Liam would no doubt run to Uncle Vinnie and complain that he was running off at the mouth.

Liam curled his lips in annoyance. “Not that it is any of your business, but don’t believe everything you hear.”

Lorcan snorted in disbelief. “If I found a woman I loved that much, I would pledge my ever-lasting faithfulness to her the moment she moved in with me. The moment that we declared our feelings.” Liam’s eyes narrowed, a steely scowl on his face. “You’re right, none of my business.” Lorcan pushed the glass away. “And I have had too much to drink tonight and all. Forget I said anything. I’ll wait in the car.”

Lorcan struggled to pull his wallet out of his back pocket. Liam placed a hand on his arm to halt him. “I’ll get this. And we’ll forget you said anything.” The fingers squeezed, digging painfully into Lorcan’s bicep. “And in the future, you will keep your mouth shut. Family or no. You know nothing about it. Nothing about Mags and me and our past.”

Lorcan stood and gave Liam a mocking salute and said, “Consider it firmly closed.”

Liam released him and strode away. Lorcan caught the bartender’s attention and ordered a coffee to go.

He left the club and headed toward the car.

After he locked the gun away, he leaned against the headrest sipping the scalding coffee, hoping it would clear his head.

What in the hell brought that on? He was more professional than that.

Never had he spoken out to a client before in such a manner. Perhaps driving for his extended family was a bad choice. Too much to drink, but it wasn’t the only reason.

He knew.

He wanted what Liam De Luca had.

A woman to love and love him back.

Too bad he didn’t deserve any of it.

* * *

Gunfire peppered the air. The unmistakable sharp crack of multiple AK-47s fired from a distance. Panicked screams mixed with the sound of the whizzing bullets. Black smoke rose from the village below as the Janjaweed militants set fire to the ramshackle structures dotting the dirt roads. People were being pulled out of their homes and butchered in the streets with machetes.

Lorcan stood on the hill with his unit. He watched the carnage unfold, could smell burning flesh and the copper smell of blood. This village had been under their protection until they had been told to stand down two days ago.

His unit was cooling their heels until they heard from the French leaders who were running this mission as to where they’d be deployed next. In the meantime, UN peacekeeping mandates were in place: no interference. Miscommunication and logistical difficulties had marred this so-called action from the beginning.

The Janjaweed did not waste any time moving in to destroy the village. They drove battered pickup trucks up and down the muddy paths firing at anything that moved, human or animal. They looked up at the Irish soldiers on the hill

and laughed, openly mocking them.

Deep-burning hate arose in Lorcan. He and many in his unit had helped out in the village, rebuilding the school, redistributing food and other supplies. He cared for these people.

“We have to do something!” Lorcan yelled at his Captain.

“You’re bang out of order, Byrne.”

Above the din of the carnage unfolding below, Lorcan heard a voice. A child—a young lad he had taken quite a shine to. He was screaming and begging for assistance.

“Lor-can! Help! Help, please!”

Lorcan had taught Drima a few words of English, and the lad called them out now. He couldn’t pronounce Lorcan’s name, so it came out sounding like “Loocan.”

Lorcan gripped his Steyr AUG rifle and took two steps forward.

“Stand down, Byrne! That’s an order!” the captain yelled.

Lorcan located the source of the frenzied pleading. Drima held out his arms toward him, and Lorcan’s heart seized in his chest. A man in the back of a pickup raised his sword and struck Drima. Blood spurted up into the air in an arc, and just as Drima hit the ground, another truck ran him over.

“Nooo! Drima!”

Lorcan awoke.

He scanned his dark bedroom, his breathing ragged as sweat poured down his face. His entire body shook as cold, clammy goosebumps rose on his skin. He inhaled and then exhaled, trying to regulate his breathing before this turned into a full-blown panic attack.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat upright. He let the tears come. The first time he’d had this nightmare in months. He thought he had licked them, but Lorcan had the sick feeling they would never leave him. This happened more than ten years past, but at this moment, it felt like it had happened five minutes ago.

More than one person in the medical field told him to seek help for these night terrors.

And he did, on and off.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Aye, he had it.

He’d been told it was mild, as the recollections had not invaded his daytime awakened state—there’s a mercy. Instead, they haunted his nights, appearing when he least expected them. Just when he dared hoped he had licked it, they returned.

There was no doubt about it. Once Lorcan decided where to settle, he would have to seek out professional help once again. Or maybe sooner, if these nightmares became more frequent.

Groaning, Lorcan stumbled across the hall to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He didn’t have to peer in the mirror as he knew what he would see.

An empty shell of a man with a bleak, haunted look.

He opened the medicine cabinet and reached for the saline nasal spray, squeezing a few shots up each nostril. Anything to get rid of the lingering smell of death.

Since he’d left the army, he’d kept people at arm’s length. It’s why he would have to tread lightly with Julie. In the long term, she deserved better than him.

A broken, empty man.

Exhaling shakily, Lorcan walked into the bedroom, reached for his boxer briefs, and slipped them on. He sat on the floor facing the end of the bed and hooked his feet under the footboard. With his hands behind his head, he started the stomach crunches.

About one hundred should do it.

Grunts left his throat with each upward push of his body. After fifty, sweat trickled down the valley of his spine, and the horrific smell finally dissipated somewhat.

He moved faster.

The incident had never been officially reported. It was as if the village and its occupants had never existed. No CNN or BBC news crews, no mention on the news stations anywhere in the world.

But Lorcan would never forget.

How could he?

Drima’s death played in his head like a never-ending video loop some nights. He saw the blood and heard the crunch of fragile bones under the truck tires.

Lorcan ed the hundred mark and pushed his body farther with quicker, punishing sit-ups. The muscles in his abdomen burned and pulled taut.

Tonight, he would need fifty more.

Anything to push the nightmare back into his black soul.

Chapter 6

The kiss. Wow.

Besides feverishly reliving every second of his ionate, wicked kiss, Julie waited. She kept her cell phone charged and barely out of her grasp, waiting for it to ring, vibrate, jump around, do cartwheels, anything. It hadn’t.

The dinner date had been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and sensations. But beyond the searing physical connection, Julie was glad they were honest about their feelings and aspects of their past.

She wished they’d talked more about his past and present life at dinner. It was clear from the hints about the Irish army and other jobs that he’d had a varied, adventurous history. What had led him here to Rockland City of all places, a small, blue-collar city nestled on the shores of the Chesapeake?

Julie marked the time by sifting through her paltry possessions, deciding what to take to her new place.

Of course, Ronnie had cross-examined her about the Lorcan dinner date like she was a suspect in one of those cop procedural shows. Julie skimmed over it, including the hot, body rubbing, heat-igniting kiss.

She wanted that memory for her alone.

Her cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Julie,” Lorcan’s deep, lyrical voice rolled. “Sorry that it’s taken me so long to get back to you. I’ve been busy.”

Keep it casual.

Calmly, she replied, “Of course. No problem, Lorcan.”

“What are you up to, love?”

She glanced around her small apartment. Boxes lay about everywhere with two garbage bags, and the contents of her kitchen cupboards spread all over the floor.

“I’m spring cleaning in August. Actually, I’m going through my things, deciding what to donate and what to toss out. I’m moving into the bakery apartment at the end of this month.”

“Can I be of any assistance?” his deep voice purred.

“I would love it, Lorcan,” she purred right back.

“Darlin’, if you knew what hearing my name on your lovely lips does to me. Shall I come over?”

Her place looked like a bomb had gone off. Hadn’t even had a shower yet. “Ah, umm.”

“Are you dithering? It’s a yes or no question,” he teased.

“I would love it if you dropped by, but my apartment is an unholy mess—”

And so am I.

“Well, it’s almost supper. We can pick up takeaway, or take-out, whatever you call it, and come to my place.”

She didn’t hesitate. “Oh, yes, that sounds fine.”

“Be there in an hour; is that enough time, Julie?”

“Absolutely.”

After saying their goodbyes, she stripped off her sweatpants and T-shirt as she sprinted toward the bathroom.

Alone. With him. At his apartment.

* * *

Lorcan was prompt. Julie waited downstairs at the main entrance when the Mercedes whipped into her parking lot. He opened his car door and stood, leaning on the top of the door. Lorcan posed like a model in a photoshoot for GQ.

He was dressed all in black—jeans, shirt, leather jacket, and dark sunglasses. Lorcan opened the enger door for her.

A gentleman as well. Utter perfection.

There had to be something wrong with this man. He seemed too good to be true. And in her experience, if something seemed too good to be true, it usually was.

Classical music played on the satellite radio. “Impress me, Lorcan. What piece is this?”

He rubbed his chin as if thinking deeply. “Chopin, Piano Concerto Number 21.”

She laughed. “I’ve no idea if you’re telling the truth or not. I only know of Beethoven and Chopin from reading Peanuts comics. And I pronounced it Choppin well into my teens until some snotty boy corrected me.”

He chuckled, then lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles lightly enough to touch spark to the flint. “And now you’ve another snotty boy flouting his socalled knowledge. I assure you it is pronounced Szopen.”

His mesmerizing tractor beams locked on her and twinkled with merriment. Lorcan released her hand and started the car.

“I thought we’d pick up food at the diner not far from my place.”

“That sounds fine,” Julie replied.

Fifteen minutes later, as they climbed the stairs to his apartment carrying the bags of food, her stomach began to twitch and roll.

Nerves.

Nothing that she couldn’t handle. Although she wondered, would sex ultimately be on the agenda tonight?

Or maybe he just wanted to talk.

Or both. Or neither.

Any or all of those options had her insides quivering with excitement.

When he unlocked the door, Julie was surprised to find his place practically empty. He pointed to the kitchen for her to deposit the food. As Lorcan strode down the hall to hang up his jacket, curiosity got the better of her, and she opened a few cupboards.

They were bare, except for a small fry pan, saucepan, and a couple of cans of soup. A large package of paper plates sat on the counter with plastic cups and utensils right next to it. She opened his fridge. A carton of eggs, a few condiments, a quart of milk, two apples, and some yogurt. That was it.

When she closed the fridge door, she looked up. Lorcan leaned against the doorframe, his arms and ankles crossed.

“Hungry, darlin’? Or perhaps snooping?”

She flushed. Might as well confess. “Um. Snooping. Sorry.”

He took her hand and led her into the living room. “Not much to find. The place came semi-furnished if you could call it that. The recliner and coffee table aren’t mine. Nor the bed.” He leaned in close, and his warm breath caressed her skin. “Do you want to see my bed?” He asked, his voice low and husky.

Oh, hell yeah.

“That’s okay. We don’t want the food to get cold,” she murmured.

He stepped away, and Julie immediately regretted her response. That might have been the only invitation for sex he offered tonight.

Or was it? For some reason, he was unreadable.

Lorcan moved to the kitchen. “Come and help yourself, Julie. Before it gets cold.”

She winced.

I may have blown it here.

Julie grabbed a paper plate and utensils and helped herself to one of the grilled chicken wraps and spooned rice and bean salad on the plate. She looked around for a table and chairs.

He motioned to the living room. “I eat off the coffee table. I hope you don’t mind.”

Sitting opposite him cross-legged on the floor, Julie took a bite of the wrap. “You really have no plans on staying here, do you?”

He chuckled. “It’s that bloody obvious, is it?”

“Can you tell me more about your past, Lorcan?” His expression grew tense. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”

Myriad emotions swirled in those sea-green-blue eyes of his. Julie could see he was troubled. He cut his wrap with concentrated precision as if taking the time to formulate his answer.

“As I said before, I’ve been to a lot of places. I was a soldier in the Irish army. Peacekeeping missions in Chad and Darfur. A better opportunity came along, or so I thought.” His lips quirked as he popped a piece of the wrap in his mouth. “I’ve been away from home for a long time.”

“You were in Darfur and Chad?” she murmured.

“Aye. I still have nightmares.” Lorcan frowned as if he itted to something he had no intention of itting to anyone. Dark clouds ed through his eyes.

Julie touched his hand. “It’s okay. I think we all have nightmares about one thing or another. I’m sorry it plagues you still.”

He shrugged as if to dismiss the gravity of his confession. “It’s something that I deal with. If you don’t mind, I really don’t want to talk about it further.”

“Whatever you’re comfortable discussing.” She took a forkful of the salad. It must be horrible, but she wouldn’t push. Not tonight. “What better opportunity came along?”

Lorcan’s lips curled into a half-smile. “I worked as an intelligence officer in the NSIS, the National Security Intelligence Section of the Directorate of Military Intelligence.”

“I’m impressed. I didn’t know Ireland had an intelligence section.”

“Best kept secret in the world. It is so secret even the Irish people know nothing about it or parts of the government either. I soon found out why I’d been recruited. Not for the round-the-world adventures or the cool gadgets. No, I’d been hired for my looks more than anything. They figured I could easily seduce information from female persons of interest. They were right. I was bloody good at my job.”

He took another bite of food. “I’d left the NSIS because my last undercover assignment had me between the bedsheets with several different women trying to obtain information on cyber-terrorism. The mission, though successful, hadn’t brought me any satisfaction or sense of accomplishment at all. I soon grew tired of whoring myself for the Irish government. I walked away. They were not best pleased.”

The bitter look on his face spoke volumes. No, Julie imagined they were not ‘best pleased.’ He would’ve been a valuable asset. Julie had always assumed someone as good-looking as him would have no worries, the world handed to you on a platter. Lorcan must have been thrilled at first, thinking he’d been chosen based on his accomplishments and merits as a soldier, only to find out it had been merely for his face and form. What harsh disappointment he must’ve felt.

“They used you,” she said softly.

“Aye, they did. As I used the women that I seduced. Didn’t know you were having supper with a man-whore, did you?”

“Don’t call yourself that. You’re not.”

“It’s in the past and best forgotten. Not a part of my life I wish to reflect on in any depth.”

“You don’t still use women?”

“No!” he cried. Then he cleared his throat. “You know, you’re one of the first I’ve told in any detail. Not even my family knows all the particulars, though most of it is classified.” He laid down his plastic fork and stared at her, his eyes blazing with emotion. “Why are you here, Julie?”

“Well, you called and asked me to come over.”

His mouth quirked. “That’s not what I mean.”

“You said that I captivated you. Well, you’ve done the same with me. I want to get to know you better, Lorcan,” she replied.

“And how well do you want to get to know me?” His voice turned to molten honey.

“You’re changing the subject.”

“Aye, if that is all right with you.”

“It’s definitely all right. But I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.”

“Good. As I said, I do like to chinwag, but I also have other pursuits. Pleasurable ones.”

Julie imagined he used that honeyed tone with women many times and with successful results. The smooth sweetness worked on her, though she wouldn’t it it to him.

At least, not yet.

“You don’t need to turn on the Irish charm with me,” she teased.

Lorcan moved toward her on his hands and knees, All smooth, sleek muscles.

“Is that right? I may come by it honestly, but I use it in a skilled way. Let me show you.”

Chapter 7

Lorcan laid her flat on the carpet and lifted her top partway. He gazed up at her, his eyes glowing with a heated yearning that caused her heart to beat faster.

“Will you allow me to touch you? Kiss you all over? I will do nothing you don’t wish me to do. I want to take this slow; you follow?” His voice was low and sexy.

She nodded, her insides fluttering as if a hundred butterflies had been released.

Lorcan opened her blouse and the front clasp on her bra. Julie boldly ran her fingers across his crotch. He was hard and moaned at her touch.

“Not yet,” he whispered. “This about you. Your pleasure.”

That was a first. No man had ever said that before.

He softly kissed her stomach. Moving toward her breasts, he cupped one, his mouth closing over the pebbled nipple. Julie moaned at the sensation. The hungry attention he lavished on her sent her into tremors of ecstasy. Her

breathing became ragged, and so did his. He moved from one breast to the other, laving and suckling.

Good Lord, she was close to having an orgasm just from this.

Her body writhed under him. Julie undulated her hips against that rock-hard part of him.

Lorcan raised his head. His half-hooded Cortina eyes were darkened with desire.

She knew the look by now.

He winked. “My wicked Celtic kiss? There’s more.”

Lorcan reached under her skirt. She wore no pantyhose due to the warm weather. He trailed his fingers along her inner thigh and gripped her underwear. The panties were down around her ankles in a matter of seconds. He pulled them off and tossed them aside.

Julie silently thanked providence that she’d donned the only pair of sexy underwear she owned.

Lorcan cupped her mound. The warmth of his hand ignited her body into raw flame.

“How much experience do you have? Has anyone ever kissed you—here?” He deftly slipped two of his fingers inside her.

She moaned in response.

Lorcan moved in and out, mimicking the act of sex. “Answer me, Julie.”

It was hard to form a coherent thought, let alone words.

“No, no one has ever—not that,” she rasped.

Her few experiences with sex did not include anything oral on either side. Julie experienced trepidation and excitement in equal measure.

He withdrew his fingers, clasped her knees, and slowly spread them apart.

“This is another example of my wicked Celtic kiss. Anytime you want me to stop, just say the word.”

“Aye,” she gasped.

A masculine rumble of laughter left his chest as he pulled off his shirt. His torso was a mass of leanly carved muscle and tight, taut abs. There were a few scars, so he wasn’t total perfection. It made him all the more appealing and had her wondering: what was the story behind those jagged slashes on his perfect skin?

The army? The NSIS? Something else?

He lay on his stomach, his face inches from her crotch. Instinctively, she tried to close her legs.

“Open for me. Trust me,” Lorcan murmured huskily.

Trust was not something Julie handed out like candy. Especially to someone, she had only just met. But, despite her initial reservations, she would trust him with this.

He parted her folds with his fingers as his warm breath fanned her inner thigh. Curling his tongue, he thrust it deep.

He was good and entirely wicked.

A long, ragged moan escaped her throat. The resonance seemed to spur Lorcan onward as he plunged deeper as he grasped her legs and rested them on his broad shoulders. He licked and kissed every part of her and gently bit down on her sensitive nub.

She bucked, all but trapping his head between her thighs as she rode out a breath-taking climax.

He lightly slapped her bottom. “Let me breathe, darlin’,” he laughed. Sitting upright, he grinned. “What’s the verdict—wicked? Maybe I should give more of a demonstration.”

Her mouth moved, but no words came out as she struggled to catch her breath.

“Are you uncomfortable? Talk to me, Julie. I want us to be honest with each other when it comes to our mutual pleasure.”

Honest? I want to throw you to the carpet, rip off the rest of your clothes, lick, touch, and taste every inch.

She wasn’t a sexually experienced woman, and that fact must be painfully obvious. Her flushed cheeks and her looking around frantically for her panties must have told him plenty.

Julie pulled her hands from his, lowered her skirt, and shakily made her way across the room to retrieve her underwear. Every part of her body where his lips had been throbbed and ached for more.

He wanted her to be candid?

“Yes,” she muttered softly. “I’m embarrassed.” She scooped up the silk drawers. “Where’s the bathroom?”

He sat on the carpet with one leg up, his arm resting casually on his knee.

“First door on your left.”

Once inside, Julie shut the door, sat on the closed toilet lid, and gazed at her trembling hands.

Oh, his kiss was entirely wicked.

First that sizzling, ionate kiss outside the restaurant, and now this. Completely off the charts and beyond anything Julie had experienced before. It stirred her desire and had her yearning for more.

Now what? Would they casually return to eating? What about him? Lorcan was still in a state of arousal. Should she politely offer to relieve him? She cringed.

She rolled off a long stream of toilet paper, cleaned herself, and shuddered from the . So sensitive. Lorcan had awakened nerve endings that she hadn’t known existed. He’d also awakened a ion that was so vast and deep that it had stunned her. Stunned her enough she didn’t know how to react or what to say.

She stood and leaned on the vanity for .

Glancing in the mirror, she saw that her face was flushed bright red.

She had never felt so—alive.

Julie splashed cold water on her cheeks then stared at her reflection.

Casual, ?

Next on the agenda: go out and act as nothing had happened.

But plenty had happened.

And Julie wanted—more.

* * *

What just happened?

Lorcan stood and moaned as his cock was still painfully hard. He reached for his

shirt, tossed it over his shoulder, and headed toward his bedroom. The bathroom door remained closed.

Once inside his room, he picked up his suitcase and reached in for a fresh shirt. Pulling it on, he left it unbuttoned. He had performed his so-called wicked Celtic kiss on different women. Never had he enjoyed it so much.

He sat on the edge of the bed and winced as his still-hard prick protested at the position.

Julie's embarrassment had surprised him, but then she never had oral sex before. Just what inept men had she been with? Well, there was no need to overwhelm her with any further sex. As much as he ached for it.

The door opened. Julie stood in the doorway, looking at him sitting on the edge of the bed. The two rooms were directly across from each other. Hanging onto the doorframe for , she appeared a little unsteady.

He stood and headed toward her, his desire suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of tenderness. He cupped her cheeks gently, and his thumbs stroked her flushed cheeks. Lorcan loved holding her face like this. He kissed her, his lips barely touching hers, but the kiss was enough to re-ignite that insistent spark.

“Have I hurt you, Julie? I’d cut my own throat if I thought I’d upset you.”

She smiled tremulously. “No, I’ve just never experienced anything close to that.

No man ever took the time to give me such pleasure. I loved it.”

Lorcan angled her head for a more thorough kiss. She surprised him by throwing her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him, those little whimpers of hers hardening him even more.

“We’re seeing each other?” Julie asked, her voice soft.

Lorcan clasped her hand and led her to the kitchen. “I told you on the dinner date that we were, didn’t you believe me?” He looked back at her. “You do believe me?”

She lowered her head for a moment but then raised it, looking at him square in the eyes. “I do believe you. I want us to see each other.”

He was pleased, more than he thought he would be. Lorcan led her into the kitchen, then piled food on the paper plates and heated them in the microwave. They moved to the living room.

“Tell me, Julie. Have you had much sex, or am I embarrassing you again?”

She chewed thoughtfully. “I’ll answer the question if you do.”

Aye, he liked her—a lot.

Considering he was still semi-aroused, maybe this sex talk was not a good idea.

“All right. I haven’t had as much as you think. Since I was in the army for years, there wasn’t the opportunity for a shag. If you want a running count, I don’t know. Two dozen, maybe. Your turn.”

Lorcan took a forkful of beans and rice. He knew the exact number: thirty-nine. It was trivial that he’d kept a precise ing, yet he didn’t want to come off as a man who notched the bedpost after every encounter.

Nearly all of his sexcapades had been work-related. Surprise ed in those stunning eyes of hers. Did she think his sexual conquests were in the triple digits?

“Three,” she replied firmly.

“How recent was the last?” Lorcan asked.

“Over three years, you?”

“Seven months ago, but that was the first time in many months.”

And once he had decided to focus his attentions on Julie, he didn’t want another

woman.

“Maybe we should change the subject. I’m sounding more like that arrogant man I turned into with the intelligence service.” Lorcan ate the last of the wrap, wiping his fingers on the paper napkin.

Julie laid her hand on top of his. “I didn’t expect you to be a monk,” she whispered, her mouth curving into a bemused smile. “I thank you for your honesty. My experiences were lackluster. Clearly.”

Lorcan lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Then we’ll have to make sure your next experience is off the charts. Not tonight, but love? Very soon. I want to be the one who shows you what pleasure can be had between a man and a woman. We’ll take it slow, savor each encounter. You’re a ionate, sensual woman, Julie, with so much to offer. Never doubt it.”

She gave him a brilliant smile. “I don’t doubt it. I want it to be you who shows me—everything.”

“Oh, aye. Everything. Now, once we’re finishing eating, what do you want to do next? How about a drive? I’m itching to get the car out on the highway. Maybe you can show me around, yeah?”

“I’d love to. I know a great place we can get coffee or tea and share a decadent dessert.”

“You’re on.”

“Do you like coffee?” she asked.

“I drink both, but prefer tea.”

“Ronnie has turned me on to tea lately. Lorcan, I’m enjoying myself. I like being with you.”

“I like your honesty, how you say what you’re feeling. Love, I’m enjoying myself, too. More than, well, in a long time.”

He brought Julie to her feet and pulled her close, nuzzling her neck. “A long, long time,” he whispered.

Maybe, ever.

Chapter 8

The next day, Lorcan strode through the front doors of The Playpen. He waved to Nick, who stood behind the bar preparing for the opening at ten a.m. Nick worked a few shifts a week behind the bar for extra money until the renovations on his place, The Chief, were completed. The reconstruction and cleanup had just started this week and would take until sometime early next year.

“Nick, mate, glorious day, yeah?”

Nick smirked. “Someone had a good night.”

Lorcan sat at the bar, deciding not to acknowledge the statement. “Renovations moving along?”

“Thanks to you. I may be able to re-open sometime in January.”

A shaft of guilt moved through Lorcan once again. Damn his fire-starter cousin, Ronan, for putting him in this position. He longed to tell Nick what he knew about the fire, but Lorcan had sworn to honor his strict personal code of protecting his family, no matter what, so he remained silent. It didn’t sit well with him at all.

“Good. How’s Sully working out?”

Nick stacked fresh-out-of-the-dishwasher beer glasses under the bar. “He’s competent enough. Quiet, though. Quite a change from you.”

“Amusing, that.”

“I dropped in the bakery before coming here; there are fresh scones. Veronica also spoke to Julie.”

“Oh, aye?”

“You had dinner together last night?”

Julie must have mentioned it to Veronica. “A couple of chicken wraps on the coffee table. I like her, Nick. That’s as far as it goes.”

Nick’s mouth quirked. “For now, you mean.”

He stood. “I’m off to find Sully. Cheers, mate.”

His cousin, Sully, was someone Lorcan could talk to about almost anything. As much as he had grown close to Nick these last few weeks, discussing Julie with him wasn’t an option, especially since she was Veronica’s cousin.

Sully was the right choice for this topic. However, his cousin didn’t have much experience with women, given his shyness around those of the opposite sex.

Lorcan, Sully, and Ronan had a rough and tumble upbringing not far from the North Quays. They dabbled in petty crimes as lads. But as they grew older, Ronan became more involved in the selling of drugs, specifically amphetamines. Sully, in his early twenties, worked with Ronan, but he was out of that life.

He knocked twice and entered. Sully sat at the desk reviewing a pile of invoices. He glanced up at Lorcan and smiled, “Not driving the old man today?”

Lorcan shook his head. “Not ’til three. How about we grab some beak?”

“Food sounds like a plan. The cook’s in. He’ll make us a good breakfast, a fry up —eggs, bacon, tomato. Plus, we have scones. We’ll eat it here in the office, all right, mate?”

Lorcan nodded. “Aye. I haven’t eaten yet.”

Sully stood a shade under six feet and was built like a brick wall, solid muscle. No one pushed Sully around when they were kids mucking about the streets.

But Lorcan knew better. Under that tough, rugged exterior beat a gentle heart that Sully didn’t show to just anyone.

Twenty minutes later, they chowed down on fried eggs, bacon, hash browns, fried tomato, and scones. Sully pushed the empty plate away and leaned back in his chair.

“Why did your uncle put me in charge of this place? I’m nobody to him. I barely have two weeks of training—wait. I understand it now. It’s to please you. Why?”

Sully was always able to read a situation. “It’s the eyes.”

“What?” Sully scoffed. “Give over.”

“It’s not to please me as such but to please Auntie Caitrin. Do you her? The De Lucas came to Ireland every summer for a few weeks up until we were twelve.”

Sully shrugged. “Barely.”

Lorcan placed his hands behind his head. “Say what you will about Vinnie De Luca; he did love my aunt. I have her eyes. Regan, his daughter, has them, too. It’s from the McAleenan side of the family. I was close to Auntie Caitrin. We kept in touch right up until her death. He’s doing all this for her. Offering me the job. The car. Giving you the manager job. I say we take advantage of it for as long as it lasts.”

Sully snorted. “Aye, until we do or say something to piss him off.”

“I don’t plan to stay around long enough to irritate him. Your visa runs out about the same time as mine. We’ll leave here with a fair bit of nicker. Maybe, we can start a business of our own.”

“A bar?”

“Not exactly. Perhaps it’s time I put my prior training to good use. How about an investigative agency?”

A deep rumble came from Sully’s chest, a scoffing, chuckling sound. “Right. With me sweeping up the place.”

Lorcan sat forward, locking gazes with his skeptical cousin. “You’re smart, Sully. Look how quick you caught on about running the club.”

“This place practically runs itself.”

“Think on it. We have a few months yet to discuss it.”

Sully tapped his finger on the desk. “Aye, I’ll think on it. Have you considered staying?”

“What, here?” Lorcan said, completely astonished at the suggestion. “Why would I?”

“A woman.”

Lorcan blew out a frustrated breath.

“You’ve something on your mind, Lorcan. I can see it in those gleaming bluegreen McAleenan eyes of yours.”

Lorcan held his mug of steaming tea. “Aye. A woman.”

“You’ve only been here two months.”

“It’s Veronica Barnes’s cousin. I met her on that double date a few weeks back.”

“The plain one?”

Lorcan set his tea on the table and came out of his chair in a flash. He gave Sully a murderous look. His fists clenched as he was thoroughly tempted to pound the bugger into next week.

Sully slowly smiled. “Ah, it’s like that, then? Sit down, mate. I wanted to see your reaction, to gauge just how serious you are about her. And it appears you are.”

“She’s not plain.”

“Ronan called her that, not me. I knew that he was lying. He took great glee in telling me about the incident at the pub. What’s her name again?”

Lorcan sat and picked up his tea. “Julie Barnes,” he mumbled. “There’s something about her. She’s touched a part of me no other woman has.”

“Is that a fact? Surprising, that, since you barely give any woman a second look. The fact that you it she touches you speaks volumes, mate. You care for her, more than you are itting to me or yourself.”

His cousin knew him well.

Lorcan sipped his tea thoughtfully. “Not sure how to proceed. I’m determined to leave come the new year.”

Sully crossed his arms. “Aye, so?”

“You’re a load of help, mate,” Lorcan grunted.

“You want to see her, do so. What’s the problem? Unless you’re feeling more for her than fuzzy feelings.” Sully sat up straight in his chair, those thick eyebrows shooting skyward. “Is that it? You’ve fallen for her?”

Lorcan sputtered, almost choking on the tea. “I hardly know her!”

“But?” Sully prompted.

“She—affects me.” He shook his head. “With her, it could turn down that road if I’m not careful.”

“Then don’t call her anymore.”

Lorcan put down his mug hard against the desk, tea sloshed over the rim.

“I thought I could talk to you about this. Mr. Sensitivity, you aren’t, mate.”

Sully shrugged. “I know next to nothing of women and their affects on men. You want to see her, go ahead. Leave when your time’s up. What is so bloody difficult about it all?”

Lorcan shook his head. “Aye, you’re right. I will see her. In fact,” Lorcan stood, fishing his iPhone out of his pocket. “I’ll call Julie right now.”

Sully smiled. “There you are, happy to help.”

A knock sounded at the door. Lorcan placed his phone on the desk.

“Come in,” Sully called out.

“Mail’s here, Sully.” Jaycee, one of the waitresses, brought a pile of mail to Sully. “Hi, Lorcan,” she said shyly.

“Good to see you,” he replied politely.

While he ran the club, Lorcan kept a conciliatory but professional attitude with the staff. Mixing business with pleasure was not something he ever wanted to do again.

Sully held up two letters as Jaycee left the room, closing the door behind her.

“Ireland postmarks.” Sully looked at it closer. “And Ronan’s handwriting,” he frowned. “Addressed to each of us.”

“What did he do, send the letters the moment he disembarked from the plane?” Lorcan took the letter and tore it open. “Ronan always hated emails and texts.”

Lorcan Byrne. In. My. Book. Fair warning.

Lorcan stared at the notepaper. His first instinct was to laugh at the absurdity of it, but instead, a cold stab of dread curled about his heart. He knew full well what his cousin was capable of. Being put in Ronan’s book of revenge was not a laughing matter. He handed the note to Sully.

He read it. “Mine says a little more. Take a seat. I’ll read it aloud.”

Sully, you disappoint me. After all these years, all we’ve been through together, you stand with Lorcan. I’ll give you one chance to prove your loyalty and avoid being placed in my book. Come home to Dublin. I have a situation lined up. I’ll cut you in at a fair percentage. Do this, and all is forgotten. You’ll not stand in my way when it comes to Lorcan. Those are my . Be here in two weeks. Auntie Vera, and we’ll set up a meet.

Sully tossed the letter on the desk. “He’s fecking mental.”

Lorcan picked up the note and re-read it. “Aye, Ronan is that. We’ve always known it. I wonder what he has lined up?”

“Our cousin had recent dealings with the Kinahan clan.”

Lorcan’s mouth gaped open at the shocking revelation. An ongoing criminal organization feud between the Hutch gang and the Kinahan family dominated

the Dublin news for several years. The conflict had racked up twenty or more deaths spanning across Ireland and into Spain.

“He’s not involved in any of that?” Lorcan asked.

Sully shrugged. “Who’s to say? I’ve not run with Ronan for more than a decade. I don’t know all the details, just generalities.”

“Brilliant,” Lorcan said dully.

“Put this out of your mind, and call that wee lass. Focus on something enjoyable.”

Focus on something enjoyable.

Julie was all that—and more.

But first, it might be wise to connect with a couple of his former co-workers in the NSIS and s elsewhere in the government. Track Ronan’s comings and goings and current living arrangements. Track his cell.

Lorcan would remain vigilant.

Ronan was capable of anything.

* * *

Sunday afternoon—at the beach?

Was he serious? Julie didn’t have a bathing suit and hadn’t been to a beach since she was seven.

But she agreed to the excursion. Why not?

What would Lorcan wear, one of those skimpy European-style Speedos? A shiver of anticipation rippled through her nerve endings.

What in hell would they do at the beach? Play Frisbee, or maybe they would run along the shore hand-in-hand in slow motion like those Jamaican vacation resort commercials. Or like her recent daydream.

Since it was late August, would there even be any bathing suits available to purchase in the stores? They were putting out the Halloween crap already.

Twenty minutes later, after checking out a few box stores, she’d managed to find a black one-piece suit on the clearance rack that had a high neckline along with a white terry cover-up that hung to the knee.

One last look in the mirror.

Pale, but able. The suit complemented her figure.

Actually, Julie mused, she looked more than able. She looked—sexy.

After paying for her purchases, she dropped by the bakery. It was her afternoon off, but she was eager to tell Ronnie about her beach outing.

There was a long line of customers filling the length of the store. Julie hustled behind the counter, placing her purse and shopping bag on the floor.

“Let me help,” she murmured to her frazzled cousin.

“Thank you. No customers for an hour—to this. Let me go out back and fetch the cinnamon rolls. People are waiting for them.”

And a few of the patrons looked as though they were near the end of their patience. Almost thirty minutes later, they had cleared out the store.

Blowing out an exhausted breath, Ronnie sat on the nearby stool. “I am going to have to consider a casual worker. And work out the schedule better.”

Julie sat next to her. “Can you afford it?”

“Maybe. I’ll have to crunch some numbers. I think we should shorten the hours. We don’t really get any customer traffic until eleven in the morning. Instead of opening at nine, we open at ten-thirty. That way, I don’t have to get up as early to bake. What do you think?”

“You have farther to travel since you moved in with Nick. But let’s make it eleven and stay open until six-thirty. There’s been more than a few people stopping in on their way home from work to find us closed. Only a suggestion.”

Ronnie smiled. “I think that is a great idea. I want us to make decisions together.”

Julie warmed inside. “Thank you for including me.”

Ronne pointed to the shopping bag. “What’s in there?”

“Lorcan called. We’re going to the beach on Sunday.”

Ronnie squealed with delight. “Wonderful! I feel good about this.”

“? He’s leaving come the new year. Nothing can come of this.”

And speaking the words had Julie feeling sad at the prospect.

“Plans can change.”

“Nothing can come of this,” Julie repeated. “We’re spending time together until he leaves. I’m fine with it.”

Ronnie looked dubious, but Julie meant what she said. There was no need to get her hopes up. What was that old song Nick often referred to? “Live for Today.”

Sounded like a plan.

Chapter 9

It was a beautiful Sunday morning, and Lorcan sat in the car waiting for Julie to appear. He had already texted her to say that he had arrived. Why he’d picked the beach, he had no idea.

Perhaps a picnic would’ve been a better choice. But there was nothing Lorcan liked better than listening to the waves crash on the shore. Since this particular beach was located on the Chesapeake, he wasn’t sure what kind of wave action there would be, if any.

Still, it was fresh air. Sun. Having fun.

He needed to kick back and relax. His uncle and cousins were spending the day watching pre-season American football and wouldn’t need him. Paulie was there in case a pizza run was required.

Kick back, relax, and think of something other than his mental-case cousin, Ronan.

Julie emerged from her apartment building and waved. Lorcan exited the car and waved in return, his heart doing a somersault at seeing her. He walked to the enger side and opened the door for her.

He would give his da this: he taught his sons to be a gentleman, and opening car doors had been one of the lessons. The behavior was ingrained and automatic. Julie smiled and climbed in. He closed the door, walked around, and slid into the driver’s side, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

“How are you, darlin’? Ready for fun in the sun?”

“I am. Is your bathing suit on under your clothes?” Julie inquired, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

“I have it in the bag in the back. I’ll change when I get there. I thought we would go to Crystal Crescent Beach. It’s not too far away. I found it on the Internet. They have a canteen and changing rooms.”

Lorcan plugged his iPhone into the USB port, and rock music began to play in the background. Placing the car in reverse, he backed out of the parking place. Heavy guitars and drums filled the car, accompanied by a crystal-clear voice of astounding depth and range.

“Who’s that?” Julie questioned.

“Submersed. Unfortunately, no longer a group. This music is from two-thousand and four. Nick turned me on to them. Listen to how the singer’s voice soars.”

Julie smiled. “I thought Nick only listened to the old stuff.”

“Mostly, yes. To some, two-thousand and four is old stuff.”

“You’re right. Thanks to you, I’m learning more about different types of music.”

He grinned. “There is so much more you can learn from me than music.”

Holding the sexually charged innuendoes to a minimum would be wise. Why it had slipped out, who knows. He wished he could take it back.

The GPS’s female voice cut into the silence. “In two hundred and fifty meters, take exit three, on Ocean Gateway, then turn right.”

Lorcan complied. He chanced a glance and found Julie staring out the enger window. She hadn’t responded to his imprudent comment.

“Ignore what I just said. It was bloody stupid and arrogant by half.”

“I don’t mind a little flirting.”

The next song by the group started playing, a slower one. “Black clouds in my sky today” was part of the lyric. There wouldn’t be any black clouds in his sky today, not if he could help it.

Lorcan took Julie’s hand and squeezed it before releasing it. “Flirting, thanks for calling it that.”

He also managed another quick glance. Her black bathing suit showed off those luscious breasts of hers. He didn’t get near enough time to explore them as he would’ve liked when they were together last.

His thoughts drifted to the night at his place. Julie sprawled on his carpet, him licking and sucking, kissing all parts of her. He bit back a moan.

Now he’d done it. Hard as stone. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Easy, lad.

The silence stretched for several more miles. Perhaps he had gone overboard by showing “his wicked Celtic kiss.” Truthfully, only one woman had told him that he possessed a wicked Celtic kiss. She’d been drunk at the time, and he on assignment with the NSIS. It had meant nothing, a throwaway line for a perfunctory act to obtain information.

Why he used the term with Julie? To keep things light, sensual, and meaningless.

He was an arrogant sod.

What happened between he and Julie had been far from meaningless.

Aye, he wanted to take things slow with her. Savor it. Lorcan wanted to be the one to teach her—wicked and wonderful things.

Say something, you eejit.

“Would you like to go out to dinner after the beach?”

She gave him a dazzling smile. “That would be perfect.”

“Do you go to the beach much?” he asked, trying to divert his thoughts from sex.

“No, I’m not much of a beach person or a sun worshipper.”

Blast it all.

He should’ve asked her that before making the invitation.

“Would you rather we did something else? We could drive along the shore.”

Julie touched his arm, and a jolt of electric shock shot through him. “The beach is fine, Lorcan.”

Every time she said his name, his insides reeled. What was the matter with him?

“I try to go to the beach when I can,” Lorcan stated, trying to distract from her heated touch. “I have one of those sound machines and often fall asleep to the sound of the waves. Not quite like the real thing, but close enough. It brings me —peace.”

Well, some nights, it did.

Julie nodded. “I love the sound of waves, too. I’ve often thought I would love to own a place by the ocean. The pounding surf, the salt air. The seafood—”

“We’ll find a seafood restaurant for dinner, nothing too fancy, would you like that? I could go for lobster,” Lorcan interjected.

“Oh, yes. I haven’t had fresh seafood in quite a while.”

Lorcan clasped her hand again and kissed it, then squeezed it affectionately before he released it.

“Then it’s a plan. Seafood it is. Good thing I have the GPS.”

Lorcan smiled. This had all the makings of a brilliant day.

* * *

With a squeal of rubber, Lorcan pulled the S65 into the parking lot. The beach wasn’t crowded, and a slight breeze wafted in from the water. The sun warmed the air, but you could feel a nip of coolness.

The end of summer approached. Julie observed a cluster of clouds gathering in the distance. She hoped they wouldn’t ruin the day.

She clenched her hand as it still tingled from Lorcan’s kiss. What a gallant and romantic gesture. Julie waited in the car because she knew he’d be around to open it. She loved these little attentions to detail.

After exiting the vehicle, Lorcan reached for his gym bag and a blanket. The items appeared to be brand new. Guess she wasn’t the only one who had taken a shopping trip.

They walked along the boardwalk toward the beach area. She kicked off her sandals, picked them up, and shoved them in her purse. The sand under her feet and the salt air awakened her senses. Julie took Lorcan’s hand, and her reward was a wink and a smile.

“I love the feel of sand between my toes,” she said.

“Aye, but not in other crevices, I’m thinking.” Lorcan pointed to a semi-secluded area. “How about we set up there?”

Julie nodded.

After laying out the blanket, Lorcan grabbed his gym bag. “I’m going to get changed in the room across the way. You’d best put on some suntan lotion. We don’t want that luscious skin burning to a crisp.”

Lorcan headed toward the changing area. He walked with such confidence and poetic fluidity he could be a male model on a catwalk.

A couple of young girls tittered as he ed. An older woman sitting in a beach chair lowered her sunglasses and watched him walk by, showing her appreciation.

Did she say something to Lorcan? He glanced over at the woman and laughed. Lorcan caused a stir, and he hadn’t even changed into his suit yet.

After reaching in her bag for the suntan lotion, Julie removed her beach cover-up but kept the clam diggers on. She slathered the greasy liquid on her arms and neck. Julie stopped in mid-spread as Lorcan ambled toward her carrying his gym bag full of clothes. No Speedos, but he wore knee-length, drawstring beach shorts with a retro floral print that looked great on him.

The wind caught the short layers of his hair and ruffled it slightly, and the chest she’d seen on display last week aroused her afresh. Lorcan’s skin had a healthy glow, and his broad chest had a light dusting of brown hair. Virility came off him in waves. Julie’s gaze slid to his tight, six-pack abs. Did he work out?

Obviously.

No one looked like that naturally. His waist was trim. Long, muscular, toned legs. Even his feet were faultless.

Julie dropped the suntan lotion the closer he approached. She was impossibly turned on. What had she been missing all these years? When he teased and flirted about all he could teach her, Julie’s insides had dipped precariously. Instead of remaining silent, she should’ve told him that he had aroused her.

Note to self: speak up in the future.

He sat cross-legged on the blanket. “Should we go for a swim soon?”

“Ah—I can’t swim,” she replied.

Lorcan raised an eyebrow. “Is that a fact? Well, growing up in Ireland surrounded by water, I became quite the proficient swimmer. I could give you a lesson or two. As I said, there are things I can teach you.”

Julie couldn’t resist this time. With the tip of her finger, she traced a bulging vein that snaked its way down his muscled bicep.

“Damn,” he murmured.

The vein pulsed faster under her touch. A thrill of satisfaction bolted through her knowing that her touch affected him.

Lowering her voice to a silky whisper, she said, “And what else will you teach me? What else are you proficient at? I already had a taste, or should I say, you had a taste.”

Lorcan’s blue-green eyes darkened with desire. “You shouldn’t say things like that, darlin’. Now I can’t stand up.”

Julie continued to caress his arm. The taut muscles bunched and flexed at the slight brush of her fingers.

“And why can’t you stand—darlin’?” she teased.

Lorcan pulled her down on the blanket with him, turning her on her side to face him. He leaned upon his elbow; his head propped up by his hand.

“Do you want to know why? Are you ready to try something wicked?”

Julie nodded.

“Lay close to me. Like this,” Lorcan instructed.

She did as he asked. They were barely inches apart. He reached for one of the towels and laid it over his hips.

“Touch me and see why I can’t stand,” his husky voice commanded.

“What? But—” Julie’s gaze darted around them. “We’re in a public place!”

Lorcan kissed her lips gently. Taking her bottom lip between his teeth, he nibbled softly. “No one can see. No one cares. Touch me.”

Julie couldn’t believe this, but curiosity and sheer lust won out. She reached in under the towel. No need to traverse far, as her eager fingers soon found the hardness of him. In her couple of brief sexual experiences, Julie had never touched the men in question.

Her insides plummeted like a brakeless elevator hurtling toward the basement floor. She curled her fingers around Lorcan’s erection, and a low, throaty moan rumbled from deep inside him.

“Oh, wow,” she murmured. Impressive size and thickness. At least, she assumed. Again, what did she know about it?

“Aye,” he ground out while she continued to caress his length.

Julie gave him a squeeze, and another moan burbled past his lips.

Lorcan reached under the towel, untied the drawstring, and loosened the shorts. “Touch me. Stroke my cock.”

He stilled as if waiting for her to make a move.

The raw heat that roared through her couldn’t be put into words, let alone coherent thoughts. His huskily spoken words shot her arousal skyward. Julie wanted to touch him, and she would deny herself nothing as far as Lorcan was concerned.

No one was close by. Two kids were plunked in the sand several hundred yards away, building a sandcastle. A woman, probably their mother, lay on her stomach catching a few rays. An older couple walked hand in hand farther down the shoreline, their pant legs rolled up as they playfully kicked water at each other.

Lorcan was right. No one cared.

What to do next?

She grasped him tightly, then moved her hand slowly upward, then back down. Lorcan shuddered. He groaned, a little louder and huskier this time.

“Am I doing this right?” Julie asked in a low, conspirator-like tone.

“This couldn’t feel more right.” He cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb past her lips. “Look at me; what do you see?”

Julie slowed and raised her head to lock her gaze with his. “You have the most beautiful eyes that I’ve ever seen,” she whispered. “The color of a tropical ocean.”

“Thank you. Or thank my mother.” A smile of satisfaction curled about his sensual lips. “What else?”

Julie continued to squeeze his erection, his—cock. “I want you to tell me.”

Lorcan’s gaze burned with emotion. “Okay. I’ll tell you. Desire. Need. I want you, Julie, like I have not wanted any other woman. Ever. You follow?”

Her heart swelled with unexplored emotions.

Lorcan’s words were sincere. She believed him completely.

“I follow.”

Lorcan laid his hand on top of hers. “We’d best stop. That lady on the blanket is watching. And if you make me come right here, I won’t be able to hide my response. We will pick this up later in the evening, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” she replied.

Slowly, she removed her hand, acting nonchalant.

Their gazes stayed locked. Julie could see every emotion that played out in the fathomless, oceanic depths of his eyes.

Desire, lust, and as he said—need.

She was wet, entirely aroused. Her body thrummed with awareness from the top of head to the tips of her toes.

“Wicked, wasn’t it? it it.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

Every inch of her skin was aflame. Julie kissed him. It was the first time she had ever initiated a kiss. He cupped her cheek, angling her head for better access, then plunged deep, tasting every part of her mouth. Now she was the one moaning.

Lorcan rested his forehead against hers. “We had better head for the water. I need to cool down.”

Cool down.

“It was wicked, and I loved it. As you said, more later.”

As Lorcan stood, he brought her with him. Pulling her close, he slowly trailed his hand down her back.

“Apparently, there are some things I don’t need to teach you,” he whispered hotly in her ear. “But I will give you a swimming lesson. Come on.”

Julie stepped out of her clam diggers and kicked them aside. He grabbed her hand, and they ran toward the water.

He laughed, and so did she.

Unabashed delight, enjoyment in each other and the beautiful day.

They kicked up sand as they ran, just like in the video for that old Don Henley song her mother loved, “Boys of Summer.”

Could the day be any more perfect?

Chapter 10

Lorcan held her tight as she paddled awkwardly in the water. How glorious his masculine hands felt holding her steady while she flailed about. The first time he’d let go, Julie had sunk like a stone, but he was there to lift her out of the water as she coughed and sputtered.

Laughing, he kissed her flushed cheek. The patience was evident in his words, and it soothed her as he instructed the best way to coordinate her paddling with the movements of her body.

Every so often, he had plunged his hand underwater and brushed by one of her breasts, teasingly stroking her hardened nipple. She had glanced up at him, and he would give her an adorable look as a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Each touch was sexually charged. Julie thought she would combust. At last, he released her, and Julie moved ahead with no assistance. She sliced her arms through the water at a slow, choppy pace, but she was swimming!

Smiling triumphantly, Lorcan lifted her straight out of the water. “You did it, Julie!”

Julie threw back her head and laughed with utter joy at his heartfelt praise. Slowly, he lowered her until their faces were level. Then he kissed her thoroughly while lowering her farther until her toes met the sand. Her skin scorched with the of his muscular chest. Lorcan reached underwater and cupped her rear, bringing her hard against him. His erection pressed insistently against her.

“See what you do to me?” He laid kisses along her chin. “Come back to my place tonight. We’ve so much to explore.”

Deny myself nothing. Take what he offers. But don’t engage my heart.

Since she’d met Lorcan, she hummed in a perpetual state of arousal. Her body vibrated like a tuning fork whenever he came near. But it would be a challenge not to fall for him. It would be one she would have to accept.

Julie ground herself against his hardness. “Yes. I want this.”

Lorcan moaned as he cupped her face and kissed her deeply. A younger couple walked by and snickered. Julie and Lorcan broke apart.

“Guess we’re causing a scene. Let’s stay in the water a bit longer until this hardon lessens. If it does,” Lorcan winked.

Julie laughed as she trailed her fingers along his well-sculpted jawline.

Beautiful man, in all ways.

* * *

About six o’clock, they made their way to Henry’s Fish Shack. The place was brightly lit, and the cream-colored walls were decorated with oil paintings of pounding surf and magnificent sandy beaches. Near the front, the standard lobster trap and fishing nets made for an ornamental if somewhat cheesy touch.

The odor of deep-fried seafood hung languorously in the air, enticing their taste buds. A bottle of white wine was delivered to their table. Lorcan poured and handed her a glass while she perused the menu.

Dare she?

She had indulged in other wicked things today. Why not top it off with a rich, decadent, expensive crustacean? Ultimately, though, she ordered the grilled salmon with dill sauce and steamed vegetables. It had been a long time she had salmon. Julie would save the wicked indulgence for Lorcan.

When the waitress returned to take their orders, he selected a one-pound lobster complete with potato salad, roll, and sliced grilled tomato and asparagus.

Julie glanced around at the ambiance. “This is lovely. It’s been such a wonderful day.”

Lorcan raised his glass. “Aye, darlin’, and it’s not over yet. Here’s to fun in the sun and with any luck, fun under the stars.”

She reached for her wine glass to clink with his. Her body trembled with a simmering yearning but also a rampant nervousness. How tempting it would be to scream into the kitchen to cancel their orders and drag him home to begin the fun under the stars portion of the evening. Julie sipped the Riesling as she tucked away thoughts of wild sex.

“Lorcan, when did you leave the NSIS?”

His brows furrowed, and that dark shadow moved fleetingly through his eyes once again.

“Almost three years ago.” He twirled the stem of his wine glass.

“And what did you do after that, until you came here?” she asked. Julie wanted to know more about him. Hopefully, he would be more forthcoming tonight.

Lorcan twirled the glass a little faster. “I decided to go into business for myself. I became a driver, bodyguard, transporter, or whatever.”

“Transporter, like the movie? Sounds exciting.”

He looked uncomfortable to be talking about his past.

“No, it was dead boring at times. I was mostly hired by fat cat oil blokes. I stayed in Dubai for six months. Then I spend three months in driving for a beer baron. Other small jobs took me to Luxembourg, Belgium, and Denmark. I was home visiting my parents in Ireland when Sully called. Sullivan McDermott is a cousin on my father’s side; the De Lucas are related on my mother’s side. Anyway, my brother, Brogan, asked if I wanted to come to The States and tour with him. I figured why the bloody hell not? I needed the downtime.”

Julie took another sip. “Sounds like you didn’t get back to Ireland much.”

“I didn’t. It’s only the third time I’d been back in twelve years. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. It’s home, you know? Familiarity. Comfort. Family. I thought this is where I’m staying from now on. Yet, when Brogan and Sully rang, I was off again. Guess I’m not made to stay in one place.”

There it was again.

He would not be staying and would only be in her life briefly.

Then, he would be gone.

Why was it upsetting when she knew that was his plan?

Enjoy what time I have with him. Savor it. Savor him.

“Maybe,” she ventured softly, “You haven’t found anything or anyone outside of the family to make you stay permanently in one place.”

Lorcan threw back his wine, then poured more into his glass. “Perhaps. I do love my family, so why did I the army at nineteen? To see the world? Maybe I wanted to take a different road than the one I’d been traveling on. During my early teens, I became involved in a lot of illegal activities. Sully, Ronan, and I were in with a bad lot, and we were on the path to becoming much worse. I ran away. Pure and simple. Been running ever since.”

Julie smiled. “You don’t strike me as the type to run away from anything.”

“Ah. Thank you. But I do—frequently.”

Will he run from me?

She didn’t want to be seen fishing for compliments, as it were, even if she was in Henry’s Fish Shack.

Lorcan looked at her strangely. Did she just speak that aloud—about him running from her?

“As long as I’m in Rockland City, I won’t be running from you. I want us to see each other. You enchant me. Do you know how lovely you are? Your eyes are a beautiful golden-brown, and your skin is luscious to the taste and touch, your

body—” He closed his eyes. “Even just thinking about my hands roving over your curves makes me hard.”

Julie’s mouth literally dropped open. His words stirred her desire, a vast and potent longing she never knew existed. He certainly didn’t mince words, and, she had to it, she loved it.

Opening his eyes, he murmured, “But that isn’t what caught my attention. Not at first. It was you—yourself. You have an alluring mixture of strength and vulnerability. I respect and ire your honesty. It’s what’s inside that captivated me. You are a ionate, giving woman.”

Julie swallowed hard, the swell of emotion overwhelming her. “Thank you. I’ve worked hard to overcome my insecurities. Sometimes, rarely, I slip back into the old ways. Like when your cousin was cruel at the pub. The terrible thing about suffering from anxiety is when people say awful things about you—you can’t or don’t dispute it. It’s a reinforcement of our beliefs. Well, I don’t believe those toxic thoughts. Not anymore.”

Lorcan kissed her hand affectionately. “We all have insecurities of one type or another, Julie. All of us. No worries. And to hell with my cousin. He’s gone, and we need not ever talk or think of him again.”

“Good. I’m all for that.”

“I would like us to see each other exclusively. I want to get to know you better. Granted, I’ll be busy being at my Uncle Vinnie’s beck and call, but what free time we have, I want to spend with you.”

Lorcan was too good to be true. There had to be something off about him. She paused as she realized what she’d just thought. Because he was interested in her, that made him too good to be true?

No, that was her life-long self-doubt trying to creep back in. With no effort at all, she pushed those damaging thoughts away.

“I would like that, Lorcan.”

He kissed her hand again. “Brilliant. Next Sunday, I’ll be free again. And when you need me, I will help you move into the bakery flat.” He smiled at her. “So, you and me. Exclusive. You follow?”

She nodded and smiled broadly. “I follow.”

When the food arrived at their table, Lorcan attacked the lobster with gusto. Using the nutcrackers, he smashed the claw into shards. He dipped a piece of the succulent white meat in butter and held out a piece for her to eat.

Julie held his wrist, leaned in, and took the morsel into her mouth. She teasingly licked the butter from her lips and then licked the tip of his finger.

Lorcan moaned softly. Then, he frowned. “Darlin’, are you all right? You look as red as the lobster shell on my plate.”

Julie felt her cheeks. “I am a little warm.”

“I think you have a sunburn and a serious one. What SPF did you use?”

Julie shrugged. “I never go to the beach. I just grabbed a tube of lotion off the store shelf.”

“Do you have it in your bag?” Julie nodded, reached in, and ed it to him. “This stuff is useless, SPF four? And it isn’t waterproof. Not only that, this is oil-based. You might as well of slathered yourself in cooking grease and jumped into a frying pan. You had no protection from the sun. None at all.”

Julie glanced at her arms. The skin flamed with an angry crimson shade. She stuck a leg out by the side of her chair.

Lorcan glanced at it. “Aye, red as a beet. We’d better get you home.”

* * *

By the time they arrived at her apartment, the red cast to her skin was sore to the touch. Her stomach roiled as waves of nausea clawed their way through her insides.

Lorcan gently placed his arm around her waist and assisted her inside. It even hurt to bend her legs to walk.

In the past, Julie had seen various news programs concerning the warnings about the sun’s UV rays, and being a sun virgin, she should’ve taken extra precautions. When she had gone shopping, she’d been so flustered over the prospect of going to the beach with Lorcan that she’d grabbed any lotion. She didn’t read the ingredients and wasn’t vigilant about the protection.

Never had she felt this sick before.

Lorcan took her keys and opened her door while trying to keep her upright.

Her stomach lurched violently. “Lorcan, I-I-I think I’m going—”

No sooner had she stepped through the door; when the contents of her stomach spewed out with such force, it hit the wall in front of her.

“Where’s your bathroom?” he yelled.

Julie couldn’t speak, only pointed to the first door on the right of the hallway.

Lorcan steered her towards the room. Lifting the lid on the toilet, Lorcan stepped aside, and she vomited again. He held her hair away from her face, gently caressing her shoulder and softly murmuring words of sympathy.

Heaving from her toes, Julie kept retching until there was nothing more to bring up.

It’s official.

She’d never been this ill in her life. So sick, she couldn’t care less how she looked. If it wasn’t for Lorcan holding her up, she’d be on her knees kissing the porcelain bowl.

Mercifully, it finally stopped.

He gently guided her to sit. Julie cried out in pain as she bent her legs. Grabbing a hand towel, he ran it under warm water and wiped her face. If she weren’t so ill, she would be embarrassed to the core. But Lorcan merely concentrated on the task at hand. He pulled a paper cup from the dispenser and filled it with water.

“Rinse and spit, get the taste out of your mouth,” he instructed in a soft voice.

Her throat felt raw and sore, and her stomach still spasmed with a dull but insistent ache. Surely there was nothing else down there.

“Lorcan,” she managed to croak. “The salmon, oh, the mess—”

“Hush, darlin’. No worries, I’ll see to it. I think you may have a touch of sun poisoning or sunstroke. I’m going to stay with you.” He grasped her waist to assist her to her feet. She cried out in agony. “Let’s get you to your room. Can you grab those towels?”

Julie nodded, and when they arrived in her room, he laid the towels flat on her bed.

“Now, we have to get you undressed and into something light and loose. Do you have something like that?”

Leaning against the wall, she motioned to her dresser. “The second drawer,” she rasped.

Lorcan shuffled through her nighties. How mortifying. Her sleeping apparel was far from sexy, and some were well worn. Finally, he held up her too-hot-to-sleep cotton shift, which was short, sleeveless, and loose.

“How’s this?”

She nodded. Nausea still clawed at her insides and rolled through her in continuous waves. Lorcan gently lifted the beach cover over her head, then unzipped her clam diggers and assisted her in stepping out of them. She winced from the effort.

The sunburn raged on full-bore nuclear alert. Every movement felt as if someone

held a blowtorch directly to her skin.

“Now the bathing suit,” he said. “It may hurt a little.”

Wait a minute.

He wanted her to strip off in front of him?

At this point, feeling as miserable as she did, who cared? No one, it didn’t matter at all. She nodded weakly.

Lorcan lowered a strap. The contrast between the white underneath to the red next to it was frightening. The brush of the bathing suit against her raw, tender skin caused stinging tears to form. Gently, Lorcan lowered the garment past her hips.

“That’s my brave lass,” he murmured.

To Lorcan’s credit, he didn’t ogle, just placed the nightie over her head, and slowly guided her arms through. Once covered, he directed her to the bed.

He hesitated. “Not sure whether to lay you on your back or stomach as you’re red on each side. Let’s try your back.” He lowered her, but as soon as her skin made with the towels, she screamed. Loudly. “Right. The stomach, then.”

Lying on her stomach was painful enough, but not as bad as the back. Oh, she was in agony.

“I’d better nip down to the chemist and buy something for your burn. Is there one nearby? Never mind, love, I’ll use the GPS.”

Taking her steel wastebasket, he emptied the contents on the floor, and placed the container next to the bed. “If you feel the need to throw up, use that. You’ll also have to drink a lot of water. We need to keep you hydrated.” He brushed a feather-light kiss across her burnt forehead. “I won’t be long.”

Julie heard the door close. It was then she let the tears come. Not only because of the pain but the tender way Lorcan had handled her.

What kind of man held your hair back and gently wiped your mouth while you puked?

A man who cared. A man considerate and kind.

Tears continued to trail down her burnt cheeks. Once calm, her eyes closed, and darkness enveloped her.

Chapter 11

The next time Julie woke, darkness had covered the room. Raising her head, she glanced at the bedside clock, nineteen minutes after eleven. She groaned. Every flinch, every movement resulted in unrelenting, scorching pain.

A deep, lyrical voice rumbled from the shadows. “You’re awake then, love?”

She turned toward the sound of the sexy Irish lilt wafting out of the dimness. He’d been sitting in a chair, staying nearby in case she needed him. Her heart swelled with gratitude and maybe other emotions she was not able to sort out right now.

“The hallway,” she croaked.

She’d showed real class, bazooka-barfing in front of the Irish hunk. How awkward.

Lorcan laid a cool cloth on her forehead. “As I said, no worries. I cleaned it up.”

“Oh, my God,” she moaned. “I-I-I am so sorry.”

“Hush. I’m going to apply aloe cream to your back and legs, and later we’ll do the front. You’re running a slight temperature. I’ll give you the painkillers when I’m done.”

He lightly brushed his fingers across her skin. The sensation of the cool aloe cream on her raw skin made her gasp. Lorcan whispered encouragingly to her while gently applying the balm.

Despite the pain from her throbbing skin, his careful, sure touch was arousing. She’d had such high hopes for this evening. Never in her wildest dreams did she think it would end like this.

Lorcan lowered to his haunches. “Am I hurting you? Are you in pain?” He wiped away a tear clinging to her sunburnt cheek.

“It hurts, but you’re helping more than you know,” Julie sniffled in self-pity.

He smoothed the hair away from her face. “My poor darlin’.” His voice was so husky and deep and full of empathy, it melted her insides. “What can I get for you? Name it.”

“I-I-I have to go to the bathroom.”

Taking great care, he helped her to her feet. She cried out as it still hurt to bend her knees.

“You’ll have to do the Frankenstein walk, Julie. Stiffen your legs.”

Despite the pain, Julie laughed shakily. But, did as he suggested, and it helped no matter how ridiculous she looked. Lorcan stepped into the bathroom. On this, she would draw the line. No way would he assist her with this.

“I-I can do it,” she ground out.

Lorcan chuckled. “Aye, I’ll be right outside the door. If you find you can’t stand, call out.” He closed the door.

Thank God her ass was not sunburned. This episode was one for the books.

The Beach Date from Hell.

Leave it to her to get a killer sunburn.

After much effort, she managed to stand and anchored herself on the vanity. Once she opened the door, Lorcan escorted her to her room.

Gently, he applied the cream to the front of her aching body and then encouraged her to drink some water, which she promptly threw up.

“Hmm. My nursing skills aren’t as sharp as I thought. I gave you too much water at once. Here, only take a little with these Tylenol. Come lie on the bed.”

Exhaustion swept through her.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch. I found an extra pillow and blanket in a box you had packed. Hope you don’t mind me digging about.”

“You can sleep here. It’s a queen-size bed. The couch is lumpy. Stay.”

“I don’t want to roll over and come in with your sunburned skin.”

Any other time she would have loved him in her bed.

“Let’s try it and see.”

“Well, I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

The mattress lowered, and the springs squeaked as he stretched out. Lorcan lay on top of the covers with her. Moonlight streamed in through the open miniblinds and outlined the most magnificent visualization of the male form she’d ever seen.

“Shameless hussy you are, staring at me like that and stirring things up. Things we can’t act on,” Lorcan said, his voice teasing but husky.

“My lips aren’t sunburned.”

A sensual vision formed of her mouth firmly fastened on his impressive cock. Add that to the “wicked things to learn from Lorcan” list.

A low, animal-sounding moan escaped Lorcan’s throat. He obviously had the same vision. “Now you’ve done it.”

He kissed her, and Julie eagerly met it. Lorcan opened his mouth fully, his tongue dancing and caressing with hers as he took the kiss deeper. Despite the pain and nausea, Julie quickly became aroused.

Moments later, he broke the kiss. “Go to sleep, darlin’. We can do no more tonight.”

Lorcan lay flat on his back, his arm tossed carelessly across his forehead. He stared at the ceiling as if fighting to gain control.

She closed her eyes. A deeply feminine part of her was pleased that she elicited this reaction with just a naughty suggestion and a kiss. Satisfied, she fell deep asleep.

* * *

Lorcan turned the corner onto Beaconsfield Avenue toward McIntyre Electronics. Uncle Vinnie would not be best pleased that he was late.

Why Uncle Vinnie kept his office in the rear of a run-down electronics store, who knew. Lorcan had assumed it would be similar to the gangsters he’d seen on the telly or at the cinema, hanging out in the back of a deli or a dance club— something that the De Lucas actually owned.

This morning, Lorcan didn’t leave Julie until he knew that she was comfortable. Part of his night had been sleepless, not the nightmares that sometimes visited him, but the fact he’d been aroused to the point of pain. He could’ve nipped into her bathroom and taken things in hand—as it were. Instead, he’d moved to the couch, covered himself with the blanket, and caught a few hours of light sleep.

The fear of experiencing one of his night terrors while in her company had haunted him most of the night. Lorcan should have returned to his apartment, but he wouldn’t neglect the poor lass when she needed him the most. Thankfully, the terrible visions had been kept at bay.

Confusing emotions had rolled through him as he’d watched Julie struggle with her high-grade sunburn. He wanted nothing more than to care for her and protect her. Bring her back to health, hold and comfort her.

This was uncharted territory for him and a road fraught with complications.

He was determined to leave at the end of his contract.

Yes, he’d had sex with thirty-nine women, but the encounters seemed more meaningless than ever before.

Lorcan didn’t feel any of that with Julie.

He would have to protect his heart.

That wouldn’t be difficult because though it beat in his chest, it held no deep emotion.

Or so he told himself.

Dead. Lifeless.

Lorcan had no intentions of feeling anything for anyone ever again. His time in the army had seen to that. Since he’d returned from Darfur and Chad—he shuddered at just the thought of those places—he refused to dwell on the horrific memories in the light of day even though they sometimes haunted him at night.

Thanks to his previous occupation, he’d become accustomed to going through the motions with women, but he had been hoping something more meaningful

would emerge. It hadn’t.

Until now, an insistent voice whispered.

The truth? He wanted what his mother and da had.

His parents were always affectionate, laughing, and teasing, and it was noticeable that a healthy physical aspect lingered in their marriage. It was good to know love and desire could last decades or a lifetime.

His parents had asked him during his recent stay: “when will you find a nice girl and settle down?”

They wanted grandchildren. The attention fell on him as the oldest to jump in the matrimonial pool first.

Well, bollocks to that.

He’d been alone for years; it was all he knew. He had nothing to offer a woman long-term. As much as he yearned for what his parents had—and as much as they wanted him to have it—reality and fate had other plans.

He shook the maudlin thoughts from his mind as he pulled into one of the many empty parking spots. Lorcan strolled through the electronics store toward the stockroom and offices. Classic rock played on the overhead speakers at a volume

loud enough to burst an eardrum.

In a darkened corner, Liam De Luca loomed over one of the more attractive female employees. She leaned against the wall, framed in by his hands as Liam either nibbled her ear, or whispered naughty things, or both, as she giggled.

Lorcan shook his head and kept walking. The man was an unrepentant horn-dog. Why did he even care about his standoffish cousin? And when had Lorcan become so judgmental about other people’s lives? If Liam wanted to cheat and/or flirt, it was no business of his.

He stepped into the back office and located Uncle Vinnie sitting at his desk. A couple of guys sat at the nearby table playing cards. Cigarette smoke hung thick in a hazy cloud over the whole room.

“You’re late,” Vinnie snapped. “At least you’re wearing the suit.”

“I was taking care of a sick friend,” Lorcan replied causally.

He heard the snorts of disbelief from the table.

“Jesus, like that excuse hasn’t been used before,” Paulie laughed.

Lorcan glared at the man and then turned back toward Vinnie. “It’s true. No matter, I’m here now.”

Vinnie stood. “We’re going to Baltimore today. I have a meeting with the O’Shaunesseys. We’re leaving this minute.”

Shite.

Baltimore was over an hour’s drive there and back. He couldn’t leave Julie for so long. Today was her day off, so they had not called Veronica. Guess he had no choice now. Veronica would have to check in on her.

“Aye. I just have to make a quick call, and we’ll be off.”

He whipped out his iPhone and punched in Veronica’s number at the bakery. He didn’t leave the room. “It’s Lorcan. Julie’s got a bad sunburn and may have heat exhaustion. She needs someone to watch over her until I return from work. Can you do it?”

“Oh, no! I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t leave the shop, but I’ll have Tyler stop by as he’s off today. I’ll give him the key. What do you want him to do?”

“Make sure she stays hydrated and see that she tries some chicken broth. Anything she wants. I’ll be back by early evening.”

“I’ll tell him.”

Lorcan clicked off and stuffed his mobile in his leather jacket pocket.

“You really were with a sick friend, Nephew,” Vinnie stated with mild astonishment in his tone.

“Aye, I don’t lie.”

Lorcan held out his arm and motioned for Vinnie to walk ahead of him.

Once they were seated in the car, Lorcan asked, “What’s the location in Baltimore?”

“I do have a meeting with the O’Shaunesseys, but I have somewhere else to go first. This is one of those non-disclosure times, Nephew. We understand each other?”

“Aye. Between us.”

“Then the address is forty-five Newman Street, in Hoes Heights.”

Lorcan punched it in the GPS, set the destination, and headed onto the highway. The car was quiet for a time, as Lorcan caught glimpses in the rear-view mirror of his uncle typing into his phone. When at last Uncle Vinnie tucked it away in his coat pocket, he looked up and stared back at him.

“You surprised me, Lorcan, with your background and work experience. I have to say I’m impressed. But then, Caitrin always said that you were the brightest of Siobhan and Seamus’s kids. How are your parents?”

About time Uncle Vinnie asked. “Good. Still living in the same flat.”

“You brother, Brogan, still acting the part of a rock musician?” His uncle’s mouth quirked with amusement.

“Aye, he is. They’re heading to the west coast for two months, they managed to pick up some more gigs. Reese is with him.”

“Tell them to stop into Rockland City when they head back east. I’d like to see them.”

Lorcan turned slightly, then glanced in the rearview, giving his uncle a dubious look. “You’re serious?”

“Yes. I am.” He paused. “You know, your Aunt Caitrin wanted to bring you over for a year, thought you might like to go to an American high school. We were in talks about it with your parents, but then your aunt took sick.”

Lorcan glanced again in the rearview. His uncle had that stricken look, the one he always had whenever he mentioned Auntie Caitrin. It almost made Lorcan feel sorry for him. Almost.

“My parents never mentioned it. And neither did you.”

Lorcan was genuinely shocked by the revelation. Probably his parents had never revealed it because the plan fell apart. The thing is, he would have gone. Traveling had appealed to him even then.

“Well, a lot of things changed after Caitrin ed,” his uncle murmured.

“Including keeping in with my family.” Lorcan’s tone was a little sharper than he intended.

“I don’t say sorry often, but I am sorry for that. Your aunt loved her family. Your McAleenan grandparents reached out, but—”

“You didn’t even allow us to come to the funeral,” Lorcan interrupted.

Not that any of them could afford flights across the Atlantic, but they could have pooled their resources to send at least a couple of family representatives to attend. The family had been hurt by the snub, and so had Lorcan.

“As I said, I’m sorry.” Uncle Vinnie blew out a shaky breath. “There wasn’t a funeral as such anyway. I couldn’t deal with any of it. I was—broken.”

Lorcan scoffed. “You? Broken?”

He caught Lorcan’s gaze in the mirror again. “Regardless of appearances, I am human. I feel. And yes, Caitrin’s death wrecked me. I fell apart.”

“Aye,” Lorcan said softly. “I understand.”

Uncle Vinnie cleared his throat, plainly uncomfortable discussing such a hurtful past and deep emotions.

“Is that why you offered the job and the car, as some sort of debt that you owed my aunt?” Lorcan asked.

He had guessed that was the motive, but he wanted to hear if his uncle would it it since he was being forthright for once. Such an open and honest conversation may not happen ever again.

His uncle looked out the window. “Maybe. Caitrin loved you the best of her nieces and nephews. She talked about you often. Even suggested that we pay for any university for you. I let it all go, and I regret not fulfilling her wishes on many different fronts.”

As Lorcan had surmised.

There was nothing else to be said on the subject, so they drove in silence. But

Lorcan did spare a warm thought for Auntie Caitrin.

Rest in peace, darlin’.

“What about Liam? Have you driven for him yet?” Vinnie asked, breaking the stillness.

“Once. So far.”

His uncle sneered. “No doubt had the Leary woman with him.”

“It’s none of my business. I won’t discuss anything I see or hear, from any of you to any of you. You follow?” Lorcan declared firmly.

“She’s separated from her police captain husband, the one who’s investigating us. I don’t care that Liam has loved her since they were kids. I don’t trust her.” Lorcan and his uncle locked gazes again in the rearview mirror. “And I suppose asking you to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity on her part is a waste of time.”

“Aye, it is that.”

Uncle Vinnie snorted. “Fair enough.”

They turned into a middle-class neighborhood filled with brick rowhouses, all prettily kept with immaculate landscaping and flower beds. Lorcan pulled up in front of number forty-five.

His uncle tapped his shoulder. “Take this, and have lunch on me. There are a few nice places nearby. Check it out on the GPS. I’ll text you when I’m ready. Okay?”

“Absolutely.” Lorcan took the folded bill. A crisp fifty. Lorcan tucked it away in his coat pocket, got out of the car, and opened the door for his uncle.

“Enjoy your lunch,” he said as he strode toward the rowhouse’s front entrance.

“Aye, Uncle,” Lorcan murmured, “Enjoy yours and all.”

Uncle Vinnie with a mistress? Why not?

Caitrin had been gone a long time. A man can get lonely.

Once back in the car, Lorcan scrolled through the restaurant listings on the GPS when a door slam caught his attention.

A young man, maybe early twenties, came out of the house, fixing a backpack over his shoulders.

Lorcan’s eyes widened.

This boyo was the spitting image of Liam. Tall, lean, wavy black hair, and probably the silver-gray eyes to boot. He had the male De Luca stamp on him, no mistake.

It had to be a coincidence.

Or was it?

Lorcan watched as the young man disappeared around the corner. Curious, he started the car, pulled out, and slowly made his way along the street, keeping far enough back to not attract attention.

The young man got on a city bus, heading downtown.

Shaking his head, he headed toward the steakhouse he had selected on the GPS.

Well. Lorcan would certainly file all this away under “none of his business.”

Chapter 12

Julie startled awake to the sound of a rattling lock, then her front door’s distinctive creaking. A smile formed on her face. Lorcan was here.

“Julie?”

A frisson of disappointment washed over her. It wasn’t Lorcan, but her cousin, Tyler.

“Down here, in the bedroom,” she called out weakly.

“Wow. Ronnie wasn’t exaggerating. You’re burnt to a crisp,” her cousin said as he entered the room. “How are you doing? What can I do for you?” Tyler tore off his jacket.

“More water,” she whispered.

“Ronnie said I’m to try and coax you to eat a little chicken broth and a few dry crackers or toast. Do you feel up to that?”

“Wait, how does Ronnie know?” Julie asked.

“Your Irish boyfriend called her, filled her in, and gave her instructions. He asked her to come by because he had to go out of town for the day. He said he’ll be back early tonight. But Ronnie couldn’t leave the bakery. I was off today—so here I am.” He looked at his watch. “Veronica is closing at four-thirty, and she’ll come right over from there. Meanwhile, you got me.”

Julie was shocked. She and Tyler hadn’t been all that close the past several years. She was genuinely touched that he came.

“Thank you. I appreciate this.”

“I’ll get the water. I where the kitchen is.”

Tyler disappeared and returned within minutes with a fresh bottle of water. She had managed to sit upright while he was gone. He ed her the water and pulled up the chair by her bed.

“Byrne’s been looking after you?”

“First off, he’s not my boyfriend,” Julie said.

Well, not long-term, anyway.

“And yes, he’s been looking after me. We went to the beach, and this happened. When he brought me home, I got sick, literally. Lorcan has been there every step of the way.”

“Sounds like something a boyfriend would do.”

“How would you know?” Julie snapped. Then she immediately regretted it. “Ignore me. I’m in pain and feeling sorry for myself.”

Tyler’s face was imive. “Just be careful, Julie. We ran a check on Byrne, we got nowhere as his record with the Irish army is classified. But beyond that, Byrne is related to the De Lucas. He’s working for them. I know he’s Vinnie’s driver, so he’s in deeper than just managing a club, regardless of what he says. I’m not being an ass; I’m concerned. Though I don’t show it enough, I care.”

“I know you do, Tyler,” she whispered. “I’ll be careful.”

Julie could sort of guess why Lorcan’s record was classified, with his spy work and such, but she wasn’t saying a word. Not even to her cousin.

“Good. Drink more water, and I’ll fix some broth.” He glanced around the room at the few boxes. “Looks like you’re nearly packed. Do you need help moving?”

Julie hesitated. Should she ask him? It could be awkward, with him being on the MCU.

“Yes, that would be great. Nick, Lorcan, and his cousin, Sullivan McDermott, have already volunteered. With you, the move can be done in no time at all.”

“Just give me enough notice so I can make certain I’m available. I’ll go get the toast and soup.”

“Wait, you make soup?” Julie teased.

“I’ve been living alone for years; I can manage a can opener. You relax.” Tyler exited the room.

Ten minutes later, he returned with a tray with the food. “I’d better not place the tray on your legs due to your sunburn. I’ll sit it here next to you. And no arguments, I’m going to help you with the broth.”

Julie’s eyes grew moist. Yes, she was feeling sorry for herself, but also, she experienced a twinge of guilt at not reaching out to Tyler more through the years. In the past, it was him that had initiated the few invitations out to lunch. Only she had never followed through afterward.

In between him holding the spoon to her mouth so she could slurp the broth, she said, “Tyler, forgive me for being distant the past several years. I could rationalize it with “I was not in a good place,” but I really wasn’t. Still, no excuse. I love you. We’re family.”

“I know,” he murmured. “I’ve had my not-in-a-good-place moments, too. I still do.” He lowered the spoon and held out the dry toast. Julie took it. “I keep myself somewhat removed from people because of the police work. I do that to protect those I love. And that includes you, Cousin.”

Her lower lip trembled, emotion threatening to overcome her.

“And that will continue, as long as I am on the MCU and on this case. Don’t ever take it personally,” Tyler stated.

“I won’t.”

“That’s the girl.”

She smiled. Uncle Teagan, Tyler and Ronnie’s late father, used to say that. She ate most of the toast and more than half of the broth.

“I’ll take this away. Is the food sitting okay?”

She nodded.

“Why don’t you sleep. I’ll clean this up. Call out if you need me.”

Julie gingerly laid on her side and promptly fell asleep.

The next she woke, Ronnie was sitting by the bed.

“What time is it?” Julie croaked. She struggled to sit upright. Tyler moved into her line of vision and assisted her.

“Six o’clock. You slept the afternoon away. I got a text from Lorcan; he’s on his way,” Ronnie replied. “I also brought leftover rolls and some cheese and macaroni. I put it in the kitchen.”

“Thank you.”

Tyler ed her a fresh bottle of cold water; she murmured her thanks and took a drink.

“How sweet and considerate of Lorcan to stay and care for you. Tyler told me,” Ronnie said.

“I know. Most guys would’ve just left me here to deal with it, not him. I mean, he held my hair back while I threw up and cleaned up the vomit in the front entrance.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he’s a saint.”

“Can you leave us alone for a minute?” Ronnie asked.

Tyler shrugged and left the room.

Julie took another sip of water. “Tyler’s been a real help, too. We had a good talk.”

“I’m glad. Is there something happening between you and Lorcan?”

“I don’t know. I can’t talk about it today. Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

“Then I’ll change the subject. Did the ginger spice cookies sell today?” Julie asked as she sipped more water. It soothed her throat, making it easier to talk.

“They sold out. We should make it part of the daily offerings or at least twice weekly; what do you think?”

“Definitely twice weekly, then see how it goes. I often wondered why you don’t sell cakes.”

“I’m no good at it. Every time I’ve tried, the cakes didn’t raise enough, or they developed giant craters a small animal could crawl through. I suck at decorating, too. Icing and I don’t mix,” Ronnie said. “Except for the icing on my cinnamon rolls. That I perfected.”

“Well,” Julie hesitated. “I can bake cakes. Not like the fancy four-tier ones on those baking shows, but I used to make nine-inch, two-layer cakes and sell them to the neighbors. My own recipes.” Her mouth twisted sardonically. “Unfortunately, I ate more than I sold and packed on more poundage. So, I gave up baking.”

Ronnie leaned forward with interest. “What flavor of cakes?”

“Lemon blueberry with a cream cheese frosting, vanilla sponge with key lime filling and icing, and one of my bestsellers was a peanut butter cake with milk chocolate frosting and dark chocolate ganache drizzled over the top. I can’t decorate either. Most people enjoy a simple layer cake for any occasion. I also had a pumpkin cake that sold well over Thanksgiving—”

“Why didn’t you tell me this when you applied for the job?” Ronnie interrupted.

Yeah, why didn’t I?

In the past, she had enjoyed creating the recipes and bringing the cakes to life. Julie achieved a great deal of satisfaction and reveled in the praise she had received.

“A lack of confidence in my own abilities. You’re right. I should have mentioned it.”

“An honest answer. Good for you for itting it,” Ronnie smiled. “Here’s an idea I want you to think on. When you’re feeling better, let’s do a test run. We’ll make one of those cakes you mentioned and see if it sells. We can charge fifteen dollars each as an introductory price. If the cakes prove to be popular, we can discuss making it a part of the daily menu.” Her eyes widened as if a thought occurred to her. “It won’t tempt you, will it?”

Julie smiled. “You haven’t found me face first in the display cases yet. I can handle it.”

“Oh, good. Sorry to mention that, I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable in any way.”

“I know what you meant.”

“So, what do you say? And hey, if you can make cakes, you could do cupcakes as well, right?”

Excitement coursed through Julie, enough that she temporarily forgot her sunburn pain.

Could she do this? Damn straight she could.

“I say let’s give it a go. All of it.”

Ronnie squealed and clapped her hands enthusiastically. “I know just where to buy nine-inch cake pans for a good price. I’ll troll the thrift stores, too. They sometimes have those cake stands with the glass dome cover. It would be perfect for display purposes. We will need proper cake boxes as well. I can’t wait to get started!”

A rush of excitement coursed through Julie as a satisfied smile curved about her lips.

Awesome.

The thought of new responsibilities gave her a sense of accomplishment she had not felt in a long time.

Not since she’d lost the weight.

For too long, Julie had wandered through life and not taking any risks.

The time had come to move forward and take a chance.

Maybe that should also apply to Lorcan Byrne.

* * *

Lorcan arrived back in town shortly before seven o’clock. He had swung by his flat and stuffed a change of clothes and toiletries into his gym bag. Climbing the stairs to Julie’s place, he exhaled.

Veronica had texted him earlier to say that she was closing the bakery a little early to head over to Julie’s. When he had texted to say that he was on his way, she messaged that Julie had managed to eat toast along with chicken broth but was still in pain and running a slight fever.

Lorcan should’ve taken Julie to the casualty or emergency, whatever they called it here. Severe sunstroke was nothing to mess with. And heat exhaustion could turn into sunstroke. Since the fever remained low grade and she hadn’t slipped into any form of delirium, visiting a doctor hadn’t seemed necessary.

Julie would be sick for a few days yet, and then her skin would start to itch and peel.

Poor darlin’.

Using the keys Julie had given him, he opened the door. A blond-haired man stood by the entrance. There was no mistaking the resemblance to Veronica.

He stuck out his hand. “Tyler Barnes. You must be Byrne. You just missed Ronnie. She had bakery stuff to attend to.”

Lorcan took the hand and pumped it briefly. “Aye, Lorcan. And you’re the copper.”

He dropped his gym bag on the floor. Barnes raised an eyebrow, glancing at the bag, then up at him.

“Aye, I’m staying tonight and every night until Julie’s back on her feet. Is she all right?”

“She’s a little better. Slept most of the afternoon.”

“Then thanks for staying.” Lorcan stood aside to allow Barnes to leave, but he didn’t. “You’ve something to say?” Lorcan demanded.

Barnes picked up the gym bag and carried it into the living room. Lorcan followed.

Barnes tossed the bag on the couch. “Don’t hurt her.”

Lorcan crossed his arms across his chest, trying to tamp down his growing annoyance.

“So, you’re pulling this shite with me as you did with Nick. Aye, he told me

about it, you trying to warn him away from your sister.”

“I didn’t threaten Crocetti, and I’m not threatening you,” Barnes hissed quietly through his teeth. “Julie’s been through a lot. When we were in high school, she had a rough time of it—never mind. It’s not my place to say anything. Just don’t hurt her.”

Lorcan exhaled. “I’ve already told her I’m leaving in January when my contract is up. No expectations. No complications. And as Nick said: it’s none of your business.”

“True enough. I love my cousin; I don’t want to see her hurt. That’s it.” He moved toward the door, Lorcan right on his heels. “Ronnie brought baked goods over, and cheese and macaroni. Knock yourself out.”

“I’ll be sure to send her a thank you, and I’ll thank you again. Appreciated.”

“But fuck off and leave, is that it?” Tyler said, his tone sardonic.

“No offense, but aye.”

Barnes chuckled. “I’ll be assisting with the move.”

“See you then. Ta.”

After seeing Tyler out, he peeked into Julie’s bedroom. The soft, even breathing told him she still slept. Good, it’d give him a chance to have a bite as he felt a bit peckish despite the steak he had for lunch.

Lorcan heated the macaroni and cheese in the microwave and buttered a couple of the rolls. He glanced inside Julie’s fridge. Not much in here, almost as bad as his. He grabbed the milk carton, gave it a sniff, and since it hadn’t gone sour, poured a large glass.

His thoughts drifted to Tyler Barnes’s warning. “Don’t hurt her.”

He had a bloody nerve, but on another level, Lorcan understood it and grudgingly respected it.

What did Barnes think, that he was some cold, unfeeling bastard?

Sully had remarked on it once in one of Lorcan’s brief visits to Dublin after the army and before the NSIS. Sully claimed that Lorcan had changed.

Sully had spoken the truth; Lorcan wasn’t the same man.

But as close as he was to Sully, he hadn’t elaborated why. He just kept people, even family, and friends, at a safe distance.

After cleaning the dishes and indulging in one of Veronica’s delectable cinnamon rolls, he headed down the hallway toward Julie’s room. He stepped in and observed her struggling to sit upright.

“Oh, Lorcan. I wondered who was in the kitchen. Ronnie and Tyler left?”

Well, her voice sounded stronger.

He rushed to her side and helped her to her feet. He touched her forehead. Still warm, but not the fiery furnace it had been last night.

“Ready for more soup?”

Julie sniffed the air. “Do I smell—cheese?”

“Veronica brought macaroni and cheese. Sorry darlin’, too rich for you, you’d be spewing it up in no time. You can have a fresh roll with your soup.”

“Oh, boy! A whole roll?” Julie said sarcastically. “I feel like Oliver Twist, begging for more food. Come on, I can try a little mac and cheese.”

“No,” Lorcan said firmly. “Soup and a roll. My final word.”

“You’re a hard taskmaster, Mr. Bumble,” Julie sniffed with disdain.

Lorcan grunted. “Comparing me to a Dickens character. Cute.”

Julie snickered as he assisted her to her feet. Once situated at the table, she slowly slurped her soup.

When finished, she held up the empty bowl, giving Lorcan a rather pathetic look. “Please, sir—I want some more.”

Lorcan laughed. “ those words. You’ll be saying them to me soon— when I get you into my bed.”

“Oh, my,” Julie murmured. “Quoting Dickens in bed. I’ve never tried that.”

“It’s more of a turn-on than you think,” he winked.

“Oh, good. I’ll have Great Expectations for that day. Or night.”

Lorcan groaned at her pun. “Back to bed; you must be feeling better.”

He aided Julie down the hall and stopped in front of the bathroom. He inclined his head toward the door; she nodded. He waited outside until she finished.

Once she laid face down on the bed again, Lorcan reached for the aloe cream and applied it lightly to the back of her legs. “Maybe tomorrow you can try a warm bath. I think a shower would be too hard on your skin.”

“Do I smell?” Julie’s muffled voice asked with mock indignity.

He leaned in near her ear and inhaled, his breath fanning her cheek. She moaned in response.

“Not yet, darlin’, but any longer, and you’ll be ripe for sure.”

He continued his slow ascent, her bare white arse exposed for his lingering perusal. She didn’t seem to mind. Christ, her arse was shapely. He’d ired it at the bakery two months ago and had an immediate reaction then, and now that he was up close and personal, his appreciation grew. Literally.

The more he caressed her lush behind, the more he became aroused. Lorcan rolled up her nightie further. His hands slowly and seductively spread the soothing cream into her skin.

Julie lifted her head from the pillow. “Um, Lorcan, my ass isn’t sunburned.”

He couldn’t wait to show Julie one of his very favorite positions. He closed his eyes and imagined it, him pounding into her from behind while grabbing her luscious arse with every thrust. A wistful moan left his lips. He reached for her

bunched-up nightie and slowly lowered it.

Lorcan leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Good night, I’ll—”

“Stay here with me. Hold me.” Julie patted the bed on the opposite side.

“Not sure that’s wise.”

“Screw wise.” She smiled. “Come here, Lorcan.”

He lay next to her, and Julie rested her head on his shoulder, her hand splayed flat on his chest.

Oh, sweet mother Mary.

He wanted to wrap her around him, to feel her luscious curves. But because of her sunburn, he wouldn't do it.

But that wasn’t the only reason.

Julie affected him. Deeply.

Just as Sully said, more than he itted to anyone, including himself.

And it worried him.

All his declarations of keeping people at a distance: not remote with Julie. Not at all.

“Go to sleep, darlin’.”

Julie settled in a little closer and soon fell asleep.

Sleep for Lorcan, however, was slow coming.

The warmth of her body branded his soul. He just had to make damn sure she didn’t take possession of his heart.

Chapter 13

Julie stood in front of her bathroom mirror and frowned at her reflection. Of course, she couldn’t be one of those people whose sunburn turned into a beautiful, golden tan.

No, not me.

She was blotchy, her skin shedding like she was a copperhead snake hanging from a moss-covered tree in the bayou. She resisted the urge to scratch her irritated skin. Julie grabbed a tube of itch relief cream and applied it everywhere she could reach.

Maybe it was a good thing she hadn’t seen Lorcan for four days. He had called yesterday to say that he had lined up Nick and Sully to help move a few heavier items and boxes on Sunday. Julie, in turn, messaged Tyler and informed him of the date and time. He replied that he was good to go.

At least she would finally meet Sully, for Lorcan spoke of him with affection.

As far as Lorcan was concerned, Julie was determined to enjoy her time with him. Yet, a common-sense instinct warned her to stay vigilant and not reveal her emotions. At least, not yet.

Lorcan moved from place to place, occupation to occupation, woman to woman. He was not the commitment type. Too good-looking for his own good. Determined to leave.

Though Lorcan may not mean to do it, he would break her heart because she was beginning to care way too much. She shook her head to dismiss those destructive, negative thoughts.

Instead, she pulled out her cell phone and punched in her mother’s phone number. It had been two weeks since they spoke, and her parents didn’t even know that she planned to move.

The phone rang four times, and then the answering machine clicked in as her mother screened every call. A digital beep sliced through her eardrum.

“Mom, pick up. It’s me, Julie.”

“Hello, dear! I was about to call as it’s been a while since we heard from you.” Julie explained about the move to her new rent-free place. “That was nice of Veronica. So, has she moved in with that biker?”

Julie winced. Her mother could be blunt, and Julie could hear the slight note of disapproval in her voice. Her parents were old-fashioned in many ways.

“Yes, and they’re very happy. And the biker’s name is Nick.”

“So, are Veronica and Nick helping you move? Do you want Dad to come?”

“Thanks, I have it handled. A friend is helping, along with Nick and Tyler.”

“Oh? A friend?” She could hear the hopeful curiosity in her mother’s voice. “A male friend?”

Here we go.

“Are you dating him?” her mother asked, hope sounding in her tone.

“We’ve been out a few times. But don’t start making wedding plans,” Julie teased.

“This is your first date in what—five years? How wonderful!” Her mother trilled.

“Three years, Mom. Not five. Don’t get excited. He’s a friend of Nick’s; that’s how we met.”

“Oh. What’s his name? What does he do?”

Julie sighed. She shouldn’t have said anything. “He’s from Ireland, his name is Lorcan Byrne, and he’s a transporter.”

“Oh? He drives a truck?”

Julie smiled. “Not a truck driver. It’s not important, and he’s only working here until January, then he’s leaving. It’s not serious; it never will be serious.”

A dull ache pierced her heart. Speaking the truth aloud filled her with regret.

“I see.” Her mother sounded disappointed. “Well, if you’re still friends, or dating, or whatever in November, bring him to Thanksgiving dinner. I’ll bet he would like a home-cooked meal.”

“I don’t think they do the turkey thing in Ireland.”

“Maybe not, but he’s in America now. Let me know, at least a week ahead. You ask him, hear me, Julie?”

“Okay. Don’t start basting the turkey yet. It’s a couple of months away. I just called to let you know the phone number will stay the same and that I’m moving.”

“You could move in here with us as we have plenty of room. You could find a good job here in Philly,” her mother urged, hopeful.

Julie loved her parents dearly, but moving in with them would be a big step backward. At least here in Rockland City, she lived on her .

“We miss you, Julie,” her mother said softly.

“I know. I miss you too, Mom. But I have a life here. I’m doing all right. I’ll be there for Thanksgiving, and I’ll let you know if I’m bringing company.”

“The more, the merrier! In fact, why not ask Veronica, Nick, and Tyler?”

“They have their own plans, but thanks for mentioning them.” Aunt Carol was coming to Rockland City and staying with Tyler until just after Christmas. She explained that to her mother.

“Oh, heavens. I haven’t seen Carol since the funeral. We’ve been in a few times by phone, and we send emails now and then. I’ll her. I would love to see her when she’s there. Maybe around Christmas time.”

“Sounds good. Love you, Mom, give Dad a hug for me.”

Lorcan, turkey, and her parents.

Not a good idea. Julie immediately put the ill-advised thought out of her mind.

* * *

Nick, Lorcan, and Sully were all squeezed into the front seat of a rented longbed pickup—not an easy feat. Tyler pulled in behind them in his old Crown Victoria the police department had given him to use. The big car would be handy in transporting a number of boxes and bags.

Julie let them in. Boxes were stacked neatly by the door, along with a couple of battered suitcases and a few garbage bags. She had cleaned the apartment last night, so the odor of pine disinfectant hung in the air.

“Let’s get the introductions out of the way,” Lorcan said. “Sully, this is Julie Barnes and her cousin, Tyler Barnes. He’s Veronica’s brother,”

Sully shook her hand, then Tyler’s. “Good to meet you both.”

Sully was built like a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens. His face was rugged, not as handsome as Lorcan, but it had character. He had the most amazing almond-shaped blue eyes she’d ever seen. What was it with the Irish and their striking eye colors?

“You work at The Playpen?” Tyler asked.

“Aye, come in for a drink some night. On the house,” Sully offered.

Tyler snorted. “Yeah, not a good idea.”

“What, coppers can’t relax and have a drink off-hours?” Sully said.

“Sure, just not there. I’ll not darken any door owned by the De Lucas.”

Well, that was awkward.

Lorcan clasped his hands together and rubbed. “Right. Where should we start?”

Julie led them into the living room. “This sofa and chair can be taken down to the dumpster.”

Sully shrugged. “Less to move.” He grabbed one end, and Nick took the other. With little effort, they lifted the sofa and headed toward the door.

“Tyler, these suitcases and bags can go in your car,” Julie said.

He picked up a few. “Be right back.”

Alone with Lorcan.

His eyes softened, but he made no movement toward her. “How’s the sunburn? It’s nearly gone, I see.”

Julie slipped her arm around his waist. “Much better. It’s finally turning into a sort-of tan. Thank you for everything you did while I suffered from heat exhaustion. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Julie laid her head on his broad chest. The steady staccato beat of his heart comforted her.

He smoothed her hair. “Glad to do it. Did you want me to help you unpack?”

“Yes, thanks.”

“After we move your stuff, I’ll have Nick drop me off at my flat. I’ll fetch my car, and then I’ll return to assist you. Would you like me to pick up take-away, hamburgers maybe?”

Julie stroked his chest. He wore a white T-shirt, and it hugged his muscled planes. She traced his well-formed pecs with the tip of her finger.

“Yes, hamburgers.”

Lorcan kissed her forehead. “Stop,” he said huskily.

Julie glanced down at his crotch. Hard, just from her slight touch? How satisfying.

She stepped away. “Sorry. Yikes.”

He tapped her bottom playfully. “Minx.”

“Oooo. I like that.”

Lorcan chuckled. “I’ll that.”

After three trips with both the truck and Tyler’s Crown Vic, she was moved in.

“I can’t thank you all enough. Lorcan is getting us some burgers; why don’t you all stay?” she offered the men.

“I have to return to the club,” Sully said. “But thanks for the invite. Another time, yeah?”

“Veronica and I already have dinner plans, but thanks,” Nick said.

“Guess that leaves me,” Tyler smiled. “I also have plans, thanks, Julie.” He kissed her cheek. “Any time you need me, just call.”

“Thank you, all. And yes, another time.”

After saying their goodbyes, Julie stood alone in the bakery apartment and appraised her new digs. The kitchen was about the same size as her old one, but the living room and bedroom had much more space.

The air conditioning would be a bonus. Julie inhaled deeply. Yes, the odor of baked goods would be forever in the air, but was that a bad thing necessarily? As Ronnie had said more than once, bakeries are happy places.

Ronnie and Julie had made more detailed plans regarding the cakes. They would wait until Julie was settled in before trying the experiment.

Ronnie was the only baker, which meant their selection was limited. But if Julie pitched in and learned more of the business, they could sell more flavors and varieties.

Ronnie had been pleased with her suggestion and had mentioned that she was looking into hiring someone who might be interested in working a few hours in the afternoon, which would free up Julie’s time for cake preparation.

Sitting down on the sofa, she smiled as she looked about the room. Her parents’ cast-off twenty-five-inch TV sat on a stand. Ronnie had given her a DVD player as Nick already had two of them. Her cousin had also left behind duplicate movies.

Guess this situation between Ronnie and Nick was permanent. When you started referring to possessions as our movies and not my movies or his movies, the relationship was significant indeed.

Excitement grew at the new turn her life was taking. A better place to live, different and challenging opportunities at work, and a stunning new man. Okay, so maybe only two out of the three were permanent.

Speaking of Lorcan, she glanced at her watch. He would be back any moment with dinner. Julie jumped up and entered the kitchen. Taking a knife, she slit open a box and lifted out dishes, glasses, and cutlery. All this second-hand, hand-me-down stuff was going—and soon. She couldn’t wait.

Lorcan arrived, bringing a garden salad along with the cheeseburgers and fries.

Sitting at the table, they dug in.

“I’m starving. Moving can work up an appetite. I had no idea,” Julie said.

“Aye. I liked that you invited the guys to stay and eat with us. Sully was touched, I could tell.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s thirty-one, soon to be thirty-two. We’re close and have been since the cradle. Like a younger brother, more than a cousin, you know?”

“It was like that with Ronnie when we were small and in high school. I am so glad we’ve reconnected and are working together. She’s going to involve me more in the business. I’ll be in charge of making layer cakes.”

“That’s brilliant! Good for you, darlin’.”

“I’m excited. Maybe you can test one for me some night.”

Lorcan poured ranch dressing over his salad. “Absolutely. I like cake.”

“Speaking of family, what are your siblings’ names and ages?” Julie asked between bites of her burger.

“Well, after me, there is Dylan, age thirty-two, Brogan is thirty-one, Alannah, twenty-nine, Reese, twenty-seven, Casey, twenty-five, and Cillian, twenty. My parents are Seamus and Siobhan. My mum is Caitrin De Luca’s younger sister.”

It was difficult keeping all the names and connections straight.

“Don’t get me started on grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even more cousins,” Lorcan continued. “I haven’t been home enough. I regret it. I’ve missed home.”

Julie could hear the longing in his voice. An almost wistful tone.

“I’m confused. It sounds as if your childhood was fine and your parents weren’t tyrants. Why leave? Is it what you said before, you were up to no good? Like what?”

* * *

Lorcan poked a piece of cucumber absently, not sure how much to reveal. What did it matter? He had already told Julie more than he had told anyone lately.

“As teens, Sully, Ronan, and I engaged in petty crimes. Dealing dope, that sort of thing. It became a way of life. I didn’t like it.”

He wasn’t used to talking about himself, nor drawing attention to his past. He popped the slice of cucumber in his mouth and chewed.

“I figured that the army could offer better opportunities. Thanks to the army, I was able to take university courses. I learned discipline and how to live an orderly life. I met people from all over the world. Maybe I have wanderlust, who knows? I stayed away too long. So long, I didn’t realize how much people and situations have changed. But then, Sully tells me that I’ve changed.”

He waited for Julie to ask in what way, but she didn’t, and he was grateful.

“Does Sully still deal drugs?” Julie asked.

Lorcan shook his head. “No, not for years and years. I take him at his word.” He believed Sully, no reason not to.

“Is Sully returning with you to Ireland?”

“We’ve talked about it and what we’re going to do once we get there. Not certain what my cousin thinks. With Sully, it’s hard to know. He plays things close to the vest.”

“He’s imposing, but he seems nice.” Julie smiled.

“No one messed with Sully on the streets. He’s been big like that since we were lads. Under the rough exterior is a heart of gold. He keeps it locked away,” Lorcan chuckled.

Julie sipped her milk. “I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I think that you keep things locked away, too. Not sure why I think that exactly. It might be the dark shadows I’d seen in your eyes once or twice. You’re quick at hiding it.”

And just like that, he could feel the drawbridge being pulled up. Under his skin, Lorcan’s nerves spiked, causing prickling sensations all along his spine that would soon lead to a full-blown panic attack. The conversation would head toward the army. She’d mention the nightmares and no bloody way he wanted to

discuss it. Not today, if ever.

He dropped his fork and stood, staring down at the half-eaten burger and salad. He was no longer hungry for food or anything else. It was best to leave before he lost all control.

“Listen, Julie. I’ve had a long week. I’m knackered. I’d best push off.” He brushed a quick kiss across her cheek, barely making . “I’ll ring you.”

“Will you?” she questioned softly.

“Aye, I will. It may be a few days—”

“Sorry I got too close. I won’t make that mistake again,” Julie replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

She made assumptions about him. and he didn’t like it. He had better clear off before he said something he’d regret. But more importantly, he had to leave before he revealed more about his precarious mental state. Lorcan opened his mouth to say exactly that but closed it again. He grabbed his leather jacket and left.

* * *

Julie sat at the table for quite a while.

So that was the “thing” that would rear its ugly head.

He didn’t want people to get too close.

While Lorcan shared to a certain extent, it would be on his . He would decide what to reveal. Poke and prod under the surface, and the bear would stir, growl, and leave. Julie watched him shut down right in front of her.

His easy Irish charm had disappeared in a flash.

Poof.

And those dark shadows were visible once again, further proving that he hid and locked something away.

She reached for his half-eaten cheeseburger and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. Julie wondered if the effortless Irish charisma he tossed around was really a deflection. Instead, it was a mask hiding dark secrets. A shield to protect him from feeling too much.

Lorcan Byrne, it seemed, was more complicated than she ever would have guessed.

Chapter 14

Lorcan decided to stop by The Playpen. He was restless, especially since he flew out of her place like a scalded cat three nights ago. Sitting alone in his nearempty flat was not an option.

He strode through the entrance, and a couple of the waiters waved hello. The place was packed, but it was a Friday night, so it was to be expected.

Los Lobos’s “Viking” blared over the speakers. Lorcan smiled. Since that first double date when Julie had referred to this place as the Bada Bing from the old TV show, The Sopranos, Lorcan had Google searched on all the music played at the fictional club and selected a couple of titles to play at The Playpen. It was amusing to see that Sully kept up with the gag.

Nick was behind the bar, as was Sully, busily serving drinks. Lorcan scanned the bar area for an empty seat, and he found one next to his cousin, Liam. Because no one wanted to sit next to a mobster. Lorcan slid onto the stool to Liam’s left.

“Hello, Cousin. Fancy finding you here. Not with your lady tonight?”

“She’s visiting her kids. It’s best I stay away,” Liam replied.

Lorcan could imagine, under the circumstances. Seeing that the lady’s soon-tobe ex-husband was a police captain in charge of the De Luca investigation.

Nick came over. “Hey, Lorcan. the party. What’ll you have?”

“Is there still Connemara there abouts?”

“There is,” Nick replied.

“Then I’ll have a double.”

“It’s on me,” Liam interjected.

“Generous, Cousin. Cheers.”

Nick nimbly poured the drink in front of him, then moved off to serve someone else. Lorcan glanced up at the stage. The bar area wrapped around it, so the patrons couldn’t get too close to the dancers. Though the customers placed tips in baskets to garner a little personal attention. A shimmy and shake, a wink, maybe a little grind and hump against the pole for good measure.

Four ladies twirled about the stage and around the poles, dressed scantily. This wasn’t exactly a topless bar, but later at night a couple of the women said they

would, for the extra tips. That was as far as it went at The Playpen. No touching, no lap dances, nothing else.

The song ended, and Metallica’s “King Nothing” began. Lorcan smiled and raised his glass. To the Bada Bing.

Liam lean in so he could be heard. “Not seeing your lady tonight?”

He had been on a date with Julie when Liam had called to drive for him.

“No. Guess this is a lad’s night out. I’m surprised you didn’t kick up a fuss when your father offered me the S65.”

Liam shrugged. “My father must have had his reasons.”

“Aye, he did.”

“How long are you staying?” Liam asked.

“Anxious for me to go, Cousin?”

“Not particularly. Just curious if you’re going back to Ireland.” Liam sipped his drink. “I always looked forward to those summer trips. I may go back someday.

Mags would love it there.”

Thinking about those visits, Lorcan recalled that Liam, more than anyone, was anxious to travel around the countryside and sightsee. He also ed how well they had got on. Liam was always standoffish, even as a kid, but once you got past the wall, he had been a decent enough bloke.

At least, back then.

“Did you ever think you wanted to do something else?” Lorcan asked.

Liam turned to look at him. “Like what? As if I had any choice.”

“We all have choices,” Lorcan murmured.

“No, we don’t. At least, I don’t. I’m fine with my choices, all the way down the line.” Liam threw back the rest of his drink, then tapped the bar to get Nick’s attention.

“How’s Regan? I haven’t seen her lately,” Lorcan interjected.

Talk about standoffish. The youngest De Luca had Liam and Kieran beat. They might have exchanged all of ten words since Lorcan arrived in the city.

Nick strolled over and automatically poured Liam another drink of whiskey.

“She keeps a low profile,” Liam replied. “Listen. I want your guys’ advice. Can you stay a minute, Nick?”

The clamor had died down, so Nick leaned against the bar. “Shoot.”

“I’m out of my element here. I’ve waited all my life for Mags, now I have her, I don’t know what to do next.”

Lorcan and Nick exchanged glances.

“What do you mean?” Nick asked.

“She won’t tell me why she left Mike after all these years. Hell, she won’t talk about anything. I don’t want to be-be—”

“Used?” Lorcan interjected.

Liam shot him a look. Then he exhaled. “Yeah, I guess that’s it. Call me suspicious, but to show up at my door after all this time? My inner alarm bell is ringing.”

Liam had reached out more than once with him and Nick. There was no need to blow him off, dismiss his feelings, which, Lorcan mused, Liam actually possessed some. Lorcan knew that from all those past summer visits.

But people change, become hardened by life. Lorcan understood that more than anyone.

“Sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart with your lady. There needs to be trust,” Nick said. “Listen to me, as if I’m an expert. If it wasn’t for Veronica pushing at my wall, it never would have tumbled down. You need to do the same. Of course, the person in question has to allow it.”

Liam snorted, then took a drink. “I’ve got my own walls and issues. How’s that going to work?”

Nick shrugged. “You’ve got me there. Here’s another thing. Let go of the past. When we first started out, Veronica and I had all this residual teen angst hovering around us. We were even acting like stupid teens in the beginning. Don’t let that get in the way of your future. I’ll be back in a minute.” Nick moved off to wait on a customer.

“No advice, Cousin?” Liam asked.

“Well, it’s a conundrum. Just be honest. And I should take my own advice.” Lorcan threw back his drink, hissing through his teeth at the pleasant burn.

“Problems?”

“Only those I impose on myself, as usual. Nick gave good advice. We should take it. The teen angst part would apply to you and your lass, yeah?”

“Yeah. Big time.”

Yes, good advice.

When Lorcan had left Julie’s flat Sunday night, he briefly considered not calling her again. Not that he didn’t want to see her, he did. But that it might be wise to nip this in the bud before it became more serious than it already was.

That was the coward’s way out.

And for all his doubts, Lorcan was not a coward.

There was something about Julie that made him want to open up and reveal things long kept buried. He yearned to crawl into her embrace and never leave. Have her soothe and comfort him.

Dangerous.

Lorcan also missed her warm smile and corny jokes. The way her eyes glittered with interest when she gazed at him. What he missed most of all was the intense physical pull existing between them. Even though they had barely done anything about it as yet.

Julie stirred him as no other woman ever did before.

Her lush body, with all its soft and luxurious curves, appealed to him. How the fascinating mixture of strength and vulnerability touched a place in his heart, he thought long dead.

There was so much more to explore, relish and enjoy.

Could he keep her close physically but apart from him? It would be a fine bloody line to straddle. Did he even have the strength to try?

Lorcan ached for her. Ached.

Call her and be done with it. Enough shillyshallying, as his grandmother says.

Lorcan finished his drink. “I’m off. Listen to Nick; he knows. Later, Cousin.”

Before Lorcan turned to leave, loud voices came from the opposite side of the stage. A customer had crawled over the partition and had a tight hold on one of the girl’s arms, trying to pull her off the stage.

Shite, it’s Kieran.

Liam was out of his seat in a flash, and Lorcan followed close behind. Already the bouncer was there, but Liam stepped in the middle of the fray.

“What are you doing, Kieran?” Liam asked, his voice soft.

Kieran was stumbling about, sloshing his drink everywhere. He was either drunk or stoned or both.

“Sandra! I just want to talk,” Kieran slurred.

Liam put his arm around his brother and pulled him off the bar. “I’ll take care of this. Back these guys off.”

Nick arrived at the scene and waved off the bouncers.

“Liam, I just wanna talk to her,” Kieran whined.

“Come with me, Brother. You’ve had enough,” Liam said, his voice gentle.

But Kieran made another lunge for the stage, and Sandra backed up several steps.

“I said for you to leave me alone!” she cried, annoyed and maybe just a little afraid.

“You damned bitch!” Kieran growled, squirming to get free of Liam.

“Eat shit!” Sandra screamed.

“Off the stage,” Sully demanded. “Cool off in the office, Sandra. We’ll talk about this later.”

Sandra disappeared.

A crowd had gathered, the music had quieted.

“Lorcan, help me get him out to my car,” Liam murmured, still struggling to hold Kieran from breaking free.

“Paulie’s not with you?” Lorcan asked as he moved to Kieran’s side, grasping his arm.

“Not tonight.”

They managed to escort Kieran out of the building. Opening the rear enger door of the Lexus, they stuffed Kieran in. He collapsed and closed his eyes.

“I can handle it from here, thanks,” Liam said.

“Does this happen often?” Lorcan asked.

“Now and then. Kieran goes in cycles. I appreciate the help. Tell Nick I’ll settle my tab next time I’m in.”

“Aye, will do.”

Liam climbed into his car and peeled out.

It seemed Kieran had his demons as well. Wonder if Uncle Vinnie was aware? No doubt, incidents like these made the rounds and eventually found their way to the boss.

Standing by his car, he took his mobile from his pocket. Lorcan didn’t want to contemplate his troubled extended family.

He dialed Julie.

“Hello?”

“Julie, It’s Lorcan.”

Silence.

“If you’re not too busy, could I come by? I thought since the sun is setting, we could go to a little piece of beach Nick told me about. I want to explain my recent behavior. If you’ll listen.”

“Of course, I’ll listen.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

As Nick said, allow those walls to be knocked down. Even a little.

At least this was a start in the right direction.

Thirty minutes later, Lorcan arrived at her door. Julie looked lovely in her gold and turquoise dress.

“Come in,” she smiled.

Ah, bless her heart, she didn’t seem to hold any grudges either. Lorcan would address his erratic behavior, but later.

“I promise you won’t get a sunburn this time.” He gave her a smile and a wink and hoped it had the desired effect.

Julie returned it, and Lorcan’s heart thumped a few extra beats.

“Let me grab my purse.”

By the time they reached the beach, the sun had already touched the horizon, and red and gold ribbons of sunlight danced across the sparkling water. Lorcan clasped her hand while he carried his gym bag in the other.

The sounds of the waves softly caressing the shoreline cast a tranquil cadence over the proceedings. Lorcan reached in the bag, retrieved the blanket, and spread it on the sand. He held out his hand to assist her in sitting.

Nick had told him of his and Veronica’s date, the candles, the wine, the making out in the surf. Sounded romantic, but Lorcan wasn’t in the mood for a heated encounter on a beach. Not tonight.

Conversation topped his agenda.

He sat and ed a bottle to her. “It’s not exactly wine, but I did buy some Diet Dr. Pepper.”

“Ooh, my favorite!” Julie unscrewed the top and took a long swig.

“Aye, I asked Veronica.” Lorcan lowered his head and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He might as well be honest. “Look, Julie. I’m sorry I flew out of your place Sunday night. You’re right; the conversation became too personal. It’s hard for me to talk about certain subjects from my past, and rather than deal with it, it was easier to leave.”

She laid her hand on his arm, and comforting warmth moved through him. “Don’t leave like that again. If it’s hard for you to talk about something, just tell me. If a subject is off-limits, just tell me.”

“Aye, I will.”

“You said that there is to be nothing serious or deep here. Just companionship, friendship, and hopefully sex. Right?”

Nothing serious?

Lorcan had the feeling they were both deluding themselves.

“I want you, Julie. I haven’t stopped thinking of you. You follow?”

“I follow. Maybe the more we’re together, you’ll feel comfortable enough to tell me of your past. I’ll leave it up to you, but know that I’m here for you whenever you want to talk.” Julie handed him the bottle. “Have some. I don’t mind sharing.”

Lorcan was warmed by her words. She had no problem sharing her feelings, her past, her Dr. Pepper, whereas he found it damned hard to open up about nearly everything.

He took a sip and handed the soft drink back to her. He spread his legs and patted the space between them. “Sit here, darlin’, and watch the sunset with me.”

Julie snuggled in and leaned against his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head and wrapped his arms around her.

They remained silent for some time, listening to the gulls cawing overhead, the waves rolling on the shore, and watched one of the most spectacular sunsets that Lorcan could recall.

“Tell me more about the cakes you’ll be making for the bakery,” Lorcan said.

“I used to make cakes for the neighbors some years back, made a nice tidy profit, but I also ate as much as I sold. I gave it up. I told Ronnie about it, and

she wants to test run a few flavors and see how they sell. I also asked to become more involved in the business. Perhaps learn to bake other items and help with the books.”

Lorcan kissed the top of her head. “Good for you, lass.”

“The cakes are nothing fancy, just nine-inch two-layer rounds, but they’re my own creations. I having such a feeling of satisfaction from creating something with my own hands. I want that feeling again.”

Her voice trembled on the last few words. Lorcan’s heart swelled in comion.

“Here’s hoping it all works out. It should. Everyone loves cake.”

“Do you?”

“I’m not one for desserts, but cake? And if you made it? I could be persuaded to try some.” He kissed the top of her head again. “But it must be interesting to wake up to the smell of fresh baking.”

Julie started to stroke his leg, and his insides sizzled from her touch. “Ronnie always said bakery odors make people happy. They evoke memories of joyful family events. It’s true. I can’t say I’ve ever woken up in a bad mood since I’ve moved in. Now, the temptation.” She sighed forlornly. “It’s a daily struggle.”

“Love, you can do it. You can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. I have every confidence in you. Also, the cakes will sell. Just wait and see.”

“Speaking of my cousin, why don’t we ask her and Nick out to dinner with us?”

“Brilliant. You ladies set it up.”

She turned in his embrace and stared up at him, her lovely eyes reflecting her generous and warm soul, for Julie hid nothing. In the wash of muted moonlight, he thought she never looked so beautiful.

Something potent pulsed between them, despite their talk of keeping light and casual.

Kiss her. Do it now before either of you say something you can’t take back. Before you reveal more than you should.

Lorcan lowered his head a laid a gentle kiss on her lips. He cupped her cheek and took it deeper. God above, he never enjoyed snogging so much before. After several minutes he broke the connection, and Julie cuddled in next to him. Together they sat in silence for another half hour and listened to the waves.

Lorcan could not recall another time he had felt so—at peace.

They arrived back at the bakery at eleven. Lorcan leaned in to give her a

goodnight kiss, but she clutched his shirt and whispered in his ear, “Come in, for a little while. I want you, Lorcan.”

He moaned and kicked the door to her apartment shut with his foot. They both reached for each other at the same time, their movements fevered and frenzied. So much for taking things at a slow pace. Clothes flew in all directions. They made their way into the living room, hardly breaking the kiss.

Julie still wore her bra and panties, but him? He tore everything off, feck it.

Slowing down might be the wise thing to do, but his bottled-up lust spurred him on. His breathing was ragged and uneven as he pulled a condom out of his discarded jeans’ pocket. He opened the package and rolled it on his stiff prick as Julie watched him, her cheeks flushed with what he hoped was desire. He laid her flat on the couch, kissing, licking, tasting.

“I can’t wait,” he groaned. Lorcan teetered on the edge of losing control.

“Then don’t. Do it. Now.”

Pushing aside her underwear, he nestled his erection at her opening. “Are you sure, darlin’?”

She pushed her hips toward him and impaled herself. A gasp escaped her throat.

“Are you all right?” he asked worriedly.

Julie placed her hand behind his neck, pulling him down to look at her eye-toeye. “More.”

He pushed in further, her back arched off the sofa.

She cried out, and Lorcan hesitated, but she said, “Oh, you feel so good.”

Lorcan stayed still for a few moments, not only to let her get used to him but to savor the sensual sensation of being buried in her soft, wet heat. After a few slow thrusts, he settled into a steady rhythm of long, deep strokes.

Blood thundered in his veins, urging him on. Julie enthusiastically encouraged him on with each upward push. Sitting up partway, Julie fumbled with her bra, then clasped her breast. “Suck it,” she commanded.

Oh, ionate lass.

Lorcan pumped faster while he took her nipple in his mouth. He cupped her arse and tilted her upward, which allowed him to slip in deeper. He was beyond sanity. It seemed both of them craved this wild ing.

Lorcan rested her leg on his hip, moaning with each forceful plunge. Her languid moans of ion urged him on.

More.

Julie clasped his arse and took him deeper into her glorious heat. Her inner muscles clenched his cock, milking it hard.

Julie cried out with her release, and he followed right behind her. He groaned, his teeth clenching with the force of his climax.

Fast, furious, and fantastic.

He pulled back, then touched her swollen area and gently stroked the wet folds. “Does it hurt?”

“Not at all. Oh, that feels so good.”

So responsive. Lorcan rubbed her sensitive nub between his fingers. “Come for me, again, love. You want to. Let go.”

Moments later, Julie did. Moaning, she kissed him hard.

After they tidied up, they lay on the sofa, holding each other close. Julie laid partly on top of him since there wasn’t much room.

How much time had ed, Lorcan had no idea.

Julie whispered in his ear, “I want to taste you.”

“Bloody hell,” Lorcan groaned.

He sat upright while she knelt at his feet. She leaned in and darted her tongue, swirling it across the head of his cock.

He hardened immediately.

“I’ve never done this before, Lorcan. Instruct me.”

“Take me in your mouth, please,” he croaked.

Lorcan clasped the back of her head. After a few tentative licks, Julie found a rhythm. He undulated his hips in time with her sucking, pulling almost all the way out, and then gently pushing back in.

“Yes, just like that, lass.”

Pure feckin’ heaven.

She created an enormous suction with her warm, willing mouth. Lorcan’s climax built, his breathing ragged. The intensity of this, all of it, his emotions were swelling to unknown heights. Just before his peak hit, he grasped Julie’s shoulders and brought her upright, kissing her hard.

His entire body shook and shuddered at the intensity of his release.

Breaking the kiss, Julie sat next to him, giving him a stunning smile.

Breathing hard, he pulled her close.

“Is it always this good?” Julie murmured.

“No, not always. The good news? It’s only going to get better.”

That thought was as worrying as it was astounding.

Aye, it’s never been this good. Not once with any of those thirty-nine women.

Ever.

Chapter 15

Dinner night rolled around, and they met at Nick and Veronica’s apartment located above The Chief. Nick invited Julie and Lorcan for drinks before they departed for the Chop Steakhouse.

Lorcan glanced at Julie, laughing with her cousin. She looked beautiful tonight with her flower-patterned dress and high heels. It would be tempting to take her home now and spend the rest of the evening in bed, making love.

The back-door buzzer sounded.

Nick placed his drink on the table. “Who in hell would that be? I’ll be right back.”

Nick soon returned, holding up a brown legal envelope. “Special delivery. It’s postmarked Ireland.”

Lorcan started coughing on his drink, nearly doing a spit-take, and before he could tell Nick not to open it, he had and scanned the contents.

Lorcan knew deep in his gut. It was from Ronan.

Nick’s brows furrowed. “Want to explain this?” he said, voice tight. He held up the single sheet of paper.

Lorcan stood and took it from Nick.

Ask Lorcan what he knows about the bar fire. He knows plenty, and he’s keeping it from you. He lied to you. He’s not to be trusted. Beware.

“Go ahead, read it out loud. The ladies should know,” Nick snapped angrily.

Ronan, that bastard.

He sent it to stir up trouble between him and Nick. Lorcan read it in a dull voice.

“What does that mean? Lorcan?” Veronica looked stricken. So did Julie.

Nick was pissed, and he couldn’t blame the man.

“Listen, I only had a hunch,” Lorcan began to explain. “As soon as I left the hospital, I went straight to Ronan’s. I confronted him, and he itted it. Sully was there. He can back me up.”

“And you didn’t tell me? Or the authorities?” Nick growled, his fury growing by the minute.

“Why would your cousin do it? Oh, my God, Liam De Luca!” Veronica cried.

“No, not Liam. He knew nothing about it. None of the De Lucas knew. Ronan was getting his revenge,” Lorcan interjected.

“Revenge? For what?” Julie asked, puzzled.

“For what he perceives as insult and slights. Ronan didn’t like that you pushed him around in your bar and at the White Owl Pub. He set your place on fire for revenge.” Saying it out loud sounded daft. “It was a petty and stupid act. When he itted it, Sully and I got him out of town immediately.”

“Your family connections leave a lot to be desired,” Julie said, annoyance in her tone. “You should have told Nick about this. You should have told all of us. What else are you keeping secret?”

Lorcan turned toward Nick, who looked thunderous. “Look, mate, I owed my cousin for a past debt. I thought it best to see him gone. The best intentions, I swear it. It was to protect us all.”

“Get. Out.” Nick pointed toward the door.

“Nick, wait—” Veronica interjected.

“I can’t listen to his Irish bullshit. Not tonight. Get. Out.” Nick stalked toward him, and Lorcan backed up several steps.

“Fair play, I’ll go. Julie?”

She shook her head. “Like Nick said, not tonight.”

Bloody hell.

Lorcan turned toward the door, stepping across the threshold onto the top stair. He turned to face Nick.

“When you want me to explain, ring me to—”

Nick slammed the door in his face.

Lorcan had made a muckshite mess out of this.

Julie was right. He should have told them about it.

He may have just blown up the best relationships he had made in years.

And it cut deep.

* * *

Nick marched over to the caddy where he had left his drink, downed it, then threw the glass against the wall, where it blew apart in shards.

“Nick!” Ronnie cried, jumping to her feet. She ran to him, immediately pulling him into her arms. She held him tight, smoothing his hair, murmuring into his ear words Julie couldn’t make out.

Instead of her cousin getting angry at Nick’s explosive rage, she soothed the savage beast. Julie found this intimate glimpse into their relationship fascinating. Nick had a temper. Julie recollected the incident at the White Owl Pub when Nick had slammed this Ronan against the wall.

McCarthy had set fire to Nick’s bar for being roughed up? What kind of sick bastard does that?

The fact Lorcan was related to this psychopath, and the De Lucas besides, gave Julie pause. But then, one couldn’t be lumped in with shit relations.

Julie grew uncomfortable at the intimacy she was witnessing. Gathering her purse, she stood. “I’ll get an Uber, and I’ll cancel the reservations at the steakhouse.”

Nick and Ronnie broke apart.

“I can drive you,” Nick ground out.

Julie glanced out the window. Lorcan’s S65 was still in the parking lot. Lorcan had his back to her, leaning against the car and staring out across the street.

“Lorcan is still here. I’ll get him to drive me. I am so sorry for this.”

By the look of fury on Nick’s face, Julie wouldn’t mention any more about what just happened. Giving Ronnie a kiss on the cheek, she turned to leave. Then, Julie walked over to Nick, stood on the tips of her toes, and kissed him on the cheek as well.

Nick’s look softened, and he affectionately patted her cheek in response.

As she made her way down the narrow stairs, Julie hoped that Nick would sleep on this and eventually talk it over with Lorcan.

Speak of the devil.

“Lorcan!” Julie called out.

He turned, his face full of misery. “I waited to see if you needed a ride.”

“Is that all?”

He shrugged. “I hoped you would allow me to explain.”

Julie exhaled. “You seem to do a lot of explaining.”

“Aye, I do. Rather pathetic.” He walked to the opposite side of the car and opened the enger door for her.

Julie climbed in, as did Lorcan on the driver’s side. He made no move to start the car and depart.

“It’s as I said, I truly believed the best thing was seeing Ronan out of town. If Nick had found out the truth, things would have got out of hand. A fight? Ronan would only want more revenge. The cycle would never end. I’ve seen my cousin in action when we were teens. One of Ronan’s favorite tricks? Running the person he wanted revenge on off the road. One time, the lad in question, no more than eighteen, was injured so badly he was paralyzed mid-thighs down.”

Julie’s hand flew to her mouth in shock. “Was your cousin charged?”

“There was no actual proof. No witnesses. The lad in question didn’t see anything as it was late at night. But everyone knew it was Ronan, and he never denied it.”

“You said that your brother invited him along to the tour. Knowing how dangerous your cousin is, why did he do it? Why did you allow Ronan to come to Rockland City?”

Lorcan shook his head. “Aye, you have me there. Brogan asked him because he thought he could use him as security. One look at that scarred, menacing mug, and most people back away.”

Lorcan gripped the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were white. “When I announced to my brother that I would be taking a detour to Rockland City, he begged me to take Ronan. You see, I have no compunctions when it comes to dealing with Ronan, never have. I had put him in his place when others in our family hesitate. Brogan didn’t want to deal with him anymore. So, I agreed, eejit that I am.”

Lorcan turned to look at her. “How upset is Nick?”

Julie whistled. “He is furious. He smashed his glass against the wall after you left. Ronnie had to calm him down. I can see why you didn’t want him and Ronan in any physical conflict. But still, you should have told us. Especially when your friendship with Nick deepened. Not a smooth move.”

“No, it wasn’t smooth at all. I regret it. I’ve made mistakes before; I’ll no doubt make them again. Do you forgive me?”

“It’s not that you technically lied, but the omission of information is almost as bad. Kind of calls that trust thing into question,” Julie replied, her voice soft.

Lorcan started the car. “Aye, it’s taken a hit. All I ask is that you allow me to prove to you that I can be trusted.”

“Okay. Then you have to convince Ronnie and Nick. Although, I’d keep my distance for a while until things cool down.”

“Aye. So, take you home?”

“Yes.”

Lorcan took her hand. “And you need distance, too.”

Julie laced her fingers through his. “Maybe a little. Do you mind?”

“Not at all, love. I’ll call you next week and see where we stand.”

Lorcan pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street. They didn’t talk much on the way to the bakery.

To show she wasn’t going to completely dismiss him, Julie gave him a kiss on the cheek before exiting the car. She watched as his car disappeared around the corner.

Well, she hadn’t expected that turn of events today. Drama always made her anxiety spike, but Julie felt surprisingly calm, considering.

Regardless, she had a lot to think about.

Three days ed, and Julie and Veronica were so busy at the bakery they hadn’t a chance to discuss what had occurred at Nick’s place in any detail.

Julie had made her first cakes today. It had taken a bit of planning, finding just the right sized pans, and acquiring the ingredients at the lowest price to maximize profit. They had ultimately decided to charge twenty dollars a cake. Ronnie had even bought a couple of glass cake domes and stands from a thrift store.

It gave the bakery counter an attractive look. Julie had nervously eyeballed every customer that came through the door, waiting for someone, anyone, to buy a cake. The vanilla, key lime, and lemon blueberry had sold by the end of the day.

“Make a few more, the same flavors until we use up the ingredients, then we can

try a couple of different flavors,” Ronnie had suggested. Julie didn’t add the icing to the cakes until they were ready to be displayed and sold. She had a nofail buttercream frosting that was easy to prepare and tasty.

Also, in the past three days, she and Ronnie had interviewed some prospective part-time employees and settled on a woman who lived nearby, looking for a few hours of employment during the late morning and early afternoon while her kids were in school.

It was an ideal situation, and Ashley Brent would be working tomorrow from ten a.m. to two p.m. to not only cover their lunches but free Julie up to bake her cakes.

In addition to her extra responsibilities, Ronnie had started to include her in more decisions regarding the bakery, like deg the matching aprons that they would all wear.

The bakery was quiet for the first time that day, and Ronnie brought them mugs of tea.

“Business first,” Ronnie declared as she took her seat. “I’ve been considering this since you mentioned the cakes, but I wanted to see how things stood financially. I’m pleased to say in four months since the grand opening, I’ve turned a tidy profit. I know we’ve talked about you learning more of the business, but how would you feel about becoming my assistant manager? It will be more money, and you can learn to bake a few of the more popular items, like the cookies we mentioned, in addition to the cakes, and, as we have discussed, learn to do the books. Maybe you might want to become—my partner.”

Julie was floored. “Partner? I don’t have any money to put into the business.”

Ronnie took another sip of her tea. “You can acquire a small business loan, or maybe your parents will loan some to you. We won’t be equal partners, at least not to start, but it’s something I would like you to consider. There’s no rush for us to move into a full partnership as yet.”

Ronnie paused, and then her voice grew softer. “I it that I’ve selfish reasons. Nick and I are getting very serious. Believe it or not, we’ve talked about marriage and children.”

Julie patted Ronnie’s arm and squealed in delight. “That’s fantastic! I’m so happy for you!”

Ronnie smiled happily. “I’m so pleased Nick and I both want the same things. Eventually, I want to cut back a little at the bakery. I hope that Ashley will be able to work five days a week instead of three, so you can learn more about the bookkeeping and some of the actual baking. I want you to share in the profits and, yes, the hard work. Is it something you’d be interested in?”

This would be a big step. Making a few cakes was one thing. Julie had doubts about obtaining a small business loan, but her parents would happily lend her the money. They had some set aside for her, the tuition money she had never used. This would be a good opportunity.

Hell, a great opportunity.

This was her future and livelihood. To be a part-owner in a business was more than she’d ever hoped for.

“It’s something I’m very interested in. Let me discuss it with my parents.”

Ronnie smiled. “Excellent. I’ll draw up a business plan, and you and your parents can look it over. I thought to start, twenty percent of the business, with more later?”

Julie laughed. “Sounds wonderful.”

“Speaking of wonderful,” Ronnie winked. “Now, let’s move on to the more personal part of the conversation. Lorcan Byrne. So, I guess we should discuss what happened the other night,” Ronnie said. “As far as Nick, he doesn’t blow like that often. You just happened to witness the two times he lost control, like at the pub that time and the other night. He is caring, ive, but he has issues with trust. The perceived betrayal from Lorcan cut him deep.”

“I understand. I was amazed at how you handled Nick. Some women would have torn him a new one for losing control. Talk about caring and ive, Ronnie.”

“I love him,” she whispered, her voice tremulous with emotion. “We each other. As we said before, we all have baggage.”

“Yes,” Julie nodded. “As does Lorcan. He also was upset by what happened. I

took a page from your book. I didn’t yell or tear him apart. I listened.” Julie explained how Ronan came to Rockland City in the first place and the fact Lorcan thought he could control him. And just how dangerous Ronan is.

Ronnie’s eyes widened at the story of running the young man off the road. “Well, yes, I can see why Lorcan wanted to avoid any further conflict between Nick and this Ronan.”

“I truly believe all he wanted to do was protect us all. Yes, he says there was a debt owed from years back, but I think the protection thing was at the foremost of his mind.”

Ronnie placed her mug on the counter. “How did you leave it? Are you going to continue to see him?”

“Lorcan will call me in a few days. Beyond Lorcan’s stunning looks and the outward Irish charm, he is an intelligent and considerate man. He has an innate sweetness that makes me melt.” She smiled, then grew serious. “But no one is perfect, and Lorcan is far from perfection.”

“Aren’t we all?” Ronnie said.

“That is true. As far as Lorcan is concerned, he still keeps a part of himself hidden. I’ve tried to puzzle out. I’m guessing it’s something from his past. An unfortunate episode to do with one of his varied occupations? Who knows? I’m caring for him more and more. As hard as I’ve tried to keep Lorcan away from my heart, he’s broken through anyway.”

“So, something happened while he was in the army,” her cousin mused.

Julie nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking.”

Ronnie exhaled. “Just keep trying to break through.”

Julie picked up her mug, taking a thoughtful sip. “He’s leaving, Ronnie. He reminds me of it constantly, like he’s telling me not to care too much. It’s too late. I already do.”

Ronnie shrugged. “You’ll be keeping in , won’t you? Surely he will come back for a visit.”

Julie raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Long-distance romances only work in the movies or romance novels. In real life, it hardly ever works. There will be an ocean between us, and I can’t afford to jump a plane and fly to Dublin once a month. And I can’t sit around waiting for an infrequent visit from him if he even comes back this way at all. When he leaves—it’s over.”

Sadness ed through Julie at saying the words aloud.

“Just how much do you care?” Ronnie asked.

“I’m falling for him, as in—maybe it could head toward love.”

Ronnie touched her arm. “Oh, Julie.”

“We had decided at the beginning that this would be temporary. But it’s moved beyond casual for me. I think it started when Lorcan held back my hair while I puked.”

Ronnie snickered.

“No, it was before that,” Julie whispered. “It was that kiss outside the restaurant on our first solo date. Soul-stirring, sizzling, and sensual as hell.”

“Ah,” Ronnie smiled knowingly. “I know the type of kiss of which you speak.”

“As I said, Lorcan is giving in many ways but keeps part of himself from everyone,” Julie continued. “We had dinner with his cousin, Sully, last week, and when Lorcan went to the restroom, I asked Sully about him. He said that Lorcan allows people only so close, and he’s been this way since he left the army. He didn’t know why because Lorcan won’t talk about it.”

“Complicated man. Do you think he’s worth the effort?” Ronnie asked. “Lorcan, I mean.”

“To me? Yes, he is.”

“Obviously, you’ve had sex,” Ronnie interjected.

Julie nodded.

“Well? Give me the Reader’s Digest condensed version.”

Julie had never talked about sex like this with another woman. “Well, he’s wild. And tender. Sometimes at the same time,” she offered tentatively.

Ronnie smiled. “Really? Hmm. Anything else?”

Julie squirmed uncomfortably on her stool. “Look, it’s not easy for me to talk about this. He’s amazing in all manner of ways. It’s hard to put into words.”

Ronnie patted her arm. “As I said, keep trying to bust through. But Lorcan has got to want to lower those barriers a bit, or it will be a pointless effort.”

“I’ll try.”

Lorcan was worth the trouble. Julie had known that from the beginning.

But it may all be for naught if he remained stubbornly determined to keep her at a distance.

And that would break her heart as much as him leaving.

Chapter 16

Today was one of those infrequent times he drove his cousin, Liam. Lorcan glanced in the rear-view mirror. The guy sat in the backseat with a strange blonde, who had her hand buried in Liam’s lap. Lorcan rolled his eyes. Surely the woman would not give Liam a hand-job here in the car. His lip curled in disgust at the thought of his beloved S65 being sullied with seminal fluids.

“The Belvedere Hotel,” Liam called out.

The woman giggled in response.

At the next stoplight, Lorcan spoke the location aloud, and the map popped up on the GPS display. Lorcan glanced in the rear-view mirror.

Liam pulled the woman’s hand away. “Patience,” he whispered to her.

Lorcan put on his sunglasses so he could roll his eyes without being detected. The light turned green, and he accelerated.

He couldn’t even begin to understand Liam’s cheating behavior. Lorcan had not

been with another woman since he started seeing Julie. Julie Barnes deserved his respect and loyalty even though their relationship would be short-term.

So why had he stayed faithful?

Truth? This situation with Julie had moved far beyond casual. And it wasn’t just sex. He cared for her very much. And that realization had his insides tumbling and his head spinning with confusion and trepidation.

With a quick glimpse at the traffic, Lorcan turned toward the Belvedere.

His thoughts returned to Julie, as they often did of late. It had been five days since the Ronan incident and five days since they had spoken.

She asked for time, and he was giving it.

Lorcan liked that she had listened to his explanation and didn’t immediately dismiss it.

This putting-the-brakes-on things also was the ideal opportunity to break things off before they become any more serious.

Who was he kidding?

Regardless of his best intentions, it was becoming more serious, at least on his end.

He yearned to see her again. Make love to her again. Hold her close.

Julie had given him a feeling of contentment he hadn’t felt in a long time. But not only peace—the sex had been intense, but the deep emotions he held for Julie were far more than physical.

Lorcan parked in front of the Belvedere. He opened the enger door facing the hotel, and the blonde woman tumbled out, giggling. The lady grabbed Liam as soon as he stood, hanging off him, her hand caressing his chest. She kissed his neck while Liam remained imive, not responding to the attention.

What a fecking display.

“You can wait in the bar, or in the car, up to you.” Liam glanced down at the woman who stared at him lasciviously. The woman giggled again and hugged him closer.

Lorcan didn’t answer right away.

Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “Something you want to say?”

Lorcan shook his head. “Not me, mate. I’ll park the car.”

Liam and the woman ran up the stairs to the front entrance.

Lorcan considered—should he use valet parking or park the vehicle himself? He leaned against the roof of the car and scanned the busy downtown street. A city bus drove by belching black diesel smoke.

A silver Toyota Camry was parked across the street, the same one that had been following behind them almost the entire way. Old habits were hard to break, and Lorcan was always aware of his surroundings.

The car window was down, and thanks to the early evening twilight, he could make out a woman wearing a floppy hat and huge Jackie Onassis sunglasses. She appeared to be distressed, judging by the trembling downturn of her mouth.

That wasn’t Liam’s lady, the one he lived with?

Lorcan stood up straight. She must’ve followed them here.

Wait, the hair color was all wrong.

If it is Maggie, she must’ve seen the blonde woman and Liam head into the hotel.

He had to get a closer look at this mysterious lady.

Lorcan stepped out in front of the S65, waiting for a lull in the traffic so he could cross the street. But the lady started her auto, then peeled out into traffic with a screech of rubber, nearly causing an accident. She turned the next corner and disappeared.

Now, what the bleedin’ hell?

He wasn’t one hundred percent sure it had been Maggie, but why else would she speed off? Unless it was another of his cousin’s romantic entanglements. Should he tell Liam? His cousin’s personal life was none of his business. Lorcan didn’t need or want to be involved with the drama. He had enough on his own plate to sort through. Liam had made it plain for him to stay out of his affairs.

Fair play. Stay out, he would.

Lorcan found a parking place by the front door. He wasn’t in the mood for a drink. Close to thirty minutes ed, and Liam came out of the hotel alone. Lorcan rolled down the window and waved him over.

He climbed into the back seat. “The lady is finding her own way home. I said my piece to her.”

“Not my concern, Cousin.”

“Well, as I said before, don’t believe everything you hear. I’m not cheating on Mags. This woman would not leave me the hell alone, wouldn’t take no for an answer. She will now.”

Lorcan’s eyebrows shot up as their gazes met in the mirror.

“I brought her here so we could talk alone, but in a public place, and make it clear we would never be meeting here again. I don’t abuse women in any way. I flirt, mostly to get information. Probably not much different from what you did with the NSIS. But I’m with Mags now. And why am I telling you this? Because, Cousin, you don’t hide much. I’m sick of the adjudicating expression on your face.”

“Aye, I judged you. Not my place.”

“We’re family; I let it go. You’ve actually shown more concern than my father or brother. They don’t want me with Mags. They say that she’s bad news and will bring me nothing but heartache and grief. My father especially thinks she’s on some deep cover investigation for Mike. It’s ridiculous.”

Lorcan shrugged. “Paranoid, maybe. Or just being cautious. Any man who would pimp out his lady for whatever reason doesn’t deserve a second thought.”

Liam shook his head. “I know Mike. He wouldn’t do that. The man has honor. More than any of us put together.”

“Fair play.”

What a bizarre situation. Lorcan could hear the affection in his cousin’s voice for the police captain. But, as with anything to do with being a driver, it was none of his concern.

“Where to?” Lorcan asked.

“Home. To Mags.”

Should he mention the woman in the Toyota?

“Listen, do you know anyone who drives a silver Camry?” Lorcan asked.

“Why?”

“Could be my former occupation, but I think one followed us here. But when I went to investigate, the car peeled out. It was a woman behind the wheel. I didn’t get a good look, only that she had long red hair. Just how many ladies do you have pining for you?”

“Too many. I don’t know any redheads or any women who drive a Camry.”

Well, he reported the situation. There was no more he could do.

Lorcan pulled out into traffic.

“I have tickets to the Orioles. That’s baseball. Ever seen a game?” Liam asked.

“I know nothing about it, except what Nick explained once.”

“The game is next Sunday. Why not invite your cousin, Sully, and Nick Crocetti. Pop won’t be needing you. He’ll be tied up with football.”

“What’s going on here, Liam? Aye, call me suspicious. You’ve been hanging about the club. Talking us up.”

“Forget it,” Liam snapped. “Just drive.”

“Hold up, mate. Don’t be so blasted quick. Nick and I aren’t exactly close at the moment. And I know for a fact that Sully works on Sundays, but as you said, I am available, so the two of us can go. What about Kieran?”

“Wait, what’s going on with you and Nick?”

Lorcan glanced in the rear-view mirror. Liam looked surprised. How much to

reveal? He sure as shite didn’t want to discuss it now. Getting friendly with Liam —was it a wise move? Perhaps not, but they were cousins. Lorcan didn’t dislike Liam. He never had.

A sports distraction could be just what he needed to forget about what had happened at Nick’s flat.

“It’s bloody complicated. I can tell you more when I see you next. What about your brother?” Lorcan asked.

Liam shrugged. “I guess we aren’t exactly close at the moment, either. Okay, next Sunday it is. You still at the Erin Street property?”

“Aye.”

“Then I’ll pick you up at eleven in the morning.”

After dropping off Liam at his condo, Lorcan pulled out his mobile and called Julie.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Julie. Has enough time gone by? If not, I can call again next week. I miss you, darlin’.”

It was true; he missed her. Terribly.

“You can come over next Sunday,” she offered.

“Ah, I’m going to an Orioles match—or game—whatever it’s called, with Liam on Sunday. There is this Saturday night after the bakery closes.” His heart thumped double-time, waiting for her response.

“Okay, we’ll watch a movie. See you at my place at six-thirty.”

“Aye, I’m looking forward to it.”

The decision was made.

When he first decided to see Julie, he was confident he could keep things casual, then they would part and move on with their lives.

Sure. How’s that working out?

Not well at all.

Lorcan was one fecked-up mess of a man.

* * *

Saturday night rolled around, and Lorcan drove toward the bakery, classical music playing softly in the background. It was a typical early autumn day with an overcast sky. A few leaves had already turned gold. Loran looked forward to observing the changes in the seasons. He would be here for autumn and part of winter. He hoped he would see actual snow as it had been a while.

Next April, he’d be thirty-four. He’d grown tired of wandering. He wanted to go home.

Why it had taken this long to come to that realization was beyond comprehension.

And what about when he returned to Ireland? Start his own security firm? Lorcan had enough money, for he had saved more than he thought he would ever have. The couple of years that he hired himself out as a driver-transporter had been lucrative.

Lorcan sighed as he braked for the red light. Glancing out his driver’s side window, he saw a young couple walking hand-in-hand, oblivious to everyone and everything around them.

Love could be elusive.

Maybe he was old-fashioned in wanting what his mother and da had. Love, desire, and friendship—right to the grave.

But since his stint in the army, he had all but given up on any such scenario.

He wasn’t the same man.

A horn blasted behind him, the light turned green, and he hadn’t noticed. He hit the accelerator and drove forward.

Love, Elusive?

Maybe it was staring him right in the face.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, he pulled around the rear of the bakery and parked.

Julie opened the door then threw her arms around his neck, embracing him.

He hadn’t expected that greeting, not at all.

Lorcan pulled her close, nuzzling her neck. So warm and soft. He didn’t want to let go.

Finally, Julie stepped back, caressed his cheek, then took his hand. “I picked out Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. It’s the extended edition, ever see it?”

“No, not the extended. I saw it at the cinema when I was a teen, not since.”

“Two hundred and twenty-eight minutes, we’d better get started. Have a seat. I bought you some Kilkenny.” She handed him a can. “Do you want a glass?”

“No, love. This is fine.” He took off his jacket and placed it over the arm of the couch. Lorcan glanced around the room. “You’ve settled in. The place is looking great.”

“Thank you. I still have more I want to do, but all in good time. I thought during the intermission that we’d have supper. Hope you haven’t eaten.” She snuggled in close and reached for the remote. Lorcan took a sip of beer and put his arm around Julie.

“My father’s recipe,” she whispered. “Kitchen sink casserole.”

Lorcan arched an eyebrow. “Kitchen sink?”

“Everything but the kitchen sink. Dad loves to dig through the fridge and cupboards and concoct casseroles with whatever ingredients he can find. This has golden mushroom soup, hamburger, shredded cheese, and rotini. I also have salad and fresh rolls from the bakery.”

“I really didn’t have much of a supper, so this sounds brilliant.”

The intermission rolled around, and Julie took the casserole out of the oven. They sat at the table.

Lorcan took a forkful. “I’m beginning to like these pasta dishes.” He tore off a piece of roll and popped it in his mouth. “Tell me about your da.”

Julie smiled. “He is old-fashioned in a lot of ways but honorable, honest, and hard-working. They don’t make them like dad anymore.”

“My da is a lot like that, too. It must be the generation. I like to think these blokes teach their sons something. Da always instilled in us the importance of hard work, honesty, being honorable in your dealings with people. Maybe some of it sunk in. I hope.”

“It must be hard for them and our grandparents to see how the world has changed, and not for the better in a lot of ways. From what I see, your dad did a fine job, Lorcan.”

He smiled at the compliment and was pleased with her sincere words. Then he

sobered. “You still think that, after what happened?”

“I do. Have you seen Nick as yet?”

“No. But I will. Eventually.”

“Next Sunday, you’re going to a ballgame with Liam De Luca?”

“Aye.”

“Well, how about next Saturday night we do The Two Towers, and the Saturday night after that, the final film?”

“I would like that.”

Julie stopped eating. “I keep forgetting that Liam De Luca is your cousin. You like him, then?”

“I always did. I’m aware of what Liam is and does for a living. Going with him to the game will allow me to see if, deep down, he is still how I him. I have no illusions. I can be civil and care about him as a family member while disapproving of his life choice.”

Julie laid her fork on the table. “Is that how you characterize your other cousin, this Ronan? You care but disapprove?”

“Maybe I cared about Ronan when we were younger. But since? No. The man has no empathy. He’s a sociopath. Liam—is not one, as far as I can tell. Ronan is gone. Can we put all this behind us?”

“Yes, only if you promise to be completely honest going forward. I cannot be with someone who isn’t honest, even if it’s short-term.”

“Aye, I will. You have my word.”

“Good. Let’s finish the movie.”

“And then?”

Julie gave him a sultry smile as she cleared the empty dishes from the table. “We’ll see what happens.”

Later, as one of the fellowship group lay dying, Julie sobbed. Lorcan stroked her arm in comfort. Damn, he choked up himself. He reached for the box of facial tissue and handed it to her.

“Th-thanks. I do this every time, no matter how many times I see it.” She blew her nose noisily.

Lorcan hugged her close and kissed her forehead. “My poor, sensitive darlin’.”

Julie sat up straight. “I can’t wait to see The Two Towers extended edition again. There are lots of great battle scenes, and I love the Rohan horse masters.”

Lorcan inwardly cringed.

Battle scenes, great.

Since his stint in the army, he had made an effort to avoid television shows or films that could act as a trigger. Hopefully, he would be able to keep his reactions well hidden.

“So, what I said about we’ll see what happens?” Julie murmured silkily.

“Aye?”

Julie stood and unbuttoned her blouse, giving him a sizzling look. She let it slide off her shoulders, revealing a lacy red underwire bra, which lifted and ed those sumptuous breasts. The blouse slipped to the floor as she moved her hands across her breasts, closed her eyes, and moaned.

Oh, sweet Jaysus.

His cock jerked and hardened immediately. Julie unzipped her jeans and wiggled suggestively as she lowered them to the floor.

Lorcan’s eyes widened.

A matching thong, too.

All he wanted to do right this bloody second was rip it off with his teeth. Julie was soft, in all the right places. He moved his hand over the curve of her hip.

Letting out a feral growl, Lorcan stood and wrapped her legs around his hips. He strode toward her bedroom, holding her aloft, her arse resting on his hands. Julie kissed him in a frantic, desperate fashion, which kicked his arousal into high gear.

Lorcan laid her on the bed and tore off his clothes. Once sheathed, he crawled onto the bed toward her then turned her over on her stomach. With one arm around her waist, he lifted her to her hands and knees so her splendid arse would be high in the air.

Julie moaned.

He whispered in her ear, “This is my favorite position. I’m going to bury my cock so deep inside you.” He bit her earlobe gently, and her breath hissed out like a steam engine. “You like that?”

He did it again, and she groaned. He sat back on his knees and ired the view.

Stunning, gorgeous.

Lorcan moved the tips of his fingers lightly across her feminine opening, and she stilled. A soft moan left her lips. He kneed her legs further apart.

He moved aside the piece of lace and positioned himself at her opening, and pushed in. “You want more?”

“Oh, yes.” Julie moaned again.

“What do you want? Tell me, Julie,” he rasped huskily.

Lorcan had to hear the words. He usually wasn’t quiet during sex, whether it contained dirty talk or loud, husky groans. Things were going to be different between him and Julie. No holding back ever again, physically or emotionally— if he could help it.

“I want you. Inside me. Deep,” she demanded.

In the past, Lorcan had believed if he let his ion fully fly free, it would allow

his deeply hidden emotions to escape from their hiding place. He felt too damned much—always did. Because of it, he protected himself at all costs.

With Julie, that wasn’t a top priority any longer. It had been an exercise in futility from nearly the first.

Each thrust was met enthusiastically.

He reached around and flicked her swollen nub. Her orgasm was thunderous.

Lorcan closed his eyes. He could feel his climax building.

He wanted more.

He wanted to reach for that place he’d never been.

Finally, he groaned long and loud with his release.

Lorcan saw feckin’ stars. Stars.

That never happened before, ever.

Still embedded deep inside her, he brought her upright in front of him. He kissed her neck as he reached around to cup her breasts. He was still semi-hard. Unbelievable. He was ready to go again.

“Lorcan,” she breathed in awe.

“I know,” he answered just as breathlessly.

This was beyond anything he’d experienced.

Laying her gently on her back, he began to kiss her, from her forehead down to her pretty little toes. He disposed of the condom and retrieved another. He put it on, hardly breaking from kissing and licking every inch of her skin.

Lorcan wanted to go slow this time.

He spent interminable minutes on her breasts and even longer applying his wicked, Celtic kiss to her feminine core. He brought her to climax, licking, laving, and feasting as she tasted so delicious and sweet.

Julie whispered naughty words in his ear, things she wanted to try. A woman to equal his raw ion in bed.

When Lorcan finally entered her, he looked into her eyes. They did not break their heated gaze as he slowly thrust into her. Deep, measured strokes. Intense,

as he knew it would be. She cupped his cheeks. The rhythm was achingly unhurried, then they clasped hands, their fingers lacing.

They were making love.

I’m in feckin’ heaven.

Chapter 17

The following Sunday arrived, and Lorcan was waiting for Liam to pick him up for the baseball event.

Lorcan was relieved he would have this baseball match as a distraction because he had been ruminating on what had happened at Julie’s last night.

She’d noticed that he cringed during the battle scenes in The Two Towers, especially where the raiders rode on the small village. The scene had mirrored things he’d seen in the army.

Terrible things.

Like Drima’s village being destroyed and the utter hopelessness and guilt, he felt over the incident. Julie hadn’t commented on his unease but held his hand throughout.

Lorcan never should’ve mentioned the nightmares. He had told no one, not Sully or the rest of his family.

Last night in his dreams, a few of those horrible memories had flooded his brain, memories he fought hard to keep away from his consciousness during the daylight hours. All he could see were butchered bodies and Drima’s twisted corpse lying in the street among the carnage. The movie had triggered the disturbing recollection.

Julie had sat up straight and cupped his face, turning him towards her. “What is it, Lorcan? Please, look at me.”

He had met her gaze, and thankfully the images had disappeared. Looking worried, Julie had smoothed a lock of hair off his forehead. Sweat had popped out at his hairline. She must’ve felt it, for she had reached for a tissue and gently wiped his brow.

Lorcan exhaled and pushed the confused and disturbing memories of last night to the back of his mind.

His phone buzzed bringing his attention back to the present, and he found a text from Liam.

I’m downstairs. I’ve been honking the horn.

So caught up in thinking about what had occurred last night, he hadn’t heard the car horn. Liam was nothing if not prompt, for he arrived at Lorcan’s at eleven on the dot.

Lorcan sprinted to the window and peered out. Liam was driving the Navigator. Lorcan waved, then gathered his jacket and went downstairs.

Lorcan climbed in. “When is this match?”

“One o’clock. We’ve got a private suite, one of Pop’s corporate connections allowed us to use it a few times during the season. Hope you haven’t eaten. There is unlimited food and drink and someone to wait on us.”

“Brilliant.”

Liam pulled out into traffic.

“Feels strange seeing you driving. Where’s Paulie?” Lorcan asked.

Liam pointed to the rear of the vehicle. “He’s following behind. I thought we’d talk, and a little privacy was in order. Tell me what happened with Nick.”

Lorcan cast Liam a little side-eye. “First, what’s up here? You want to be friends?”

“What are we, in school? So what if I do want it? Newsflash, I’m the boss’s son, his number two. I don’t have friends, only sycophants. Maybe, since Mags came into my life again, I want a life outside of the De Luca world. Is that so hard to comprehend?” Liam’s tone grew annoyed on the last sentence.

“You’re a touchy bloke; I’ll give you that. But I appreciate the honesty.”

Liam headed out of town toward the state highway north to Baltimore. “We got on as kids. I ire your past line of work. I figured you’re honorable. Trustworthy. Not everyone in my line of work is.”

“Are you?” Lorcan asked, his voice soft.

Liam didn’t answer right away. “In most cases. I will be in my dealings with you and Nick. I won’t discuss my other life when we’re together. I’d prefer not to.”

“Okay. Regarding Nick.” Lorcan told it all, the fire, his covering up the fact it was Ronan and why. And about Ronan’s revenge book, his cousin sending the notes which revealed what had happened, causing Nick’s angry response.

Liam whistled. “Jesus. That explains a lot. Can you guys patch it up?”

Lorcan shrugged. “I’m not certain.”

“Well, you’ll have a chance. Nick is meeting us at the ballpark. I sent him the ticket and security yesterday. He doesn’t know that I’m bringing you.”

Lorcan couldn’t believe this. “He won’t thank you for it. In fact, I’m not best

pleased about this either, Cousin. You’re an interfering sod.”

“Listen, I’ve been by The Playpen a few times recently. Nick and I have talked. Your name came up. He mentioned that you had an argument, and he may have overreacted. Nick is open to healing the wound, though he may not it it aloud. He wouldn’t tell me what it was about. I get why he was pissed off. I also understand why you did what you did. It’s fixable.”

Lorcan snorted. “What makes you so bloody sure?”

“I have dealt with union negotiations and disputes for years. Think of me as a mediator. I know what I’m doing.”

Lorcan wasn’t certain.

By the time they arrived at the park, Lorcan’s apprehension had grown. But, after parking in the VIP section and making their way to the exclusive suite, Lorcan decided that he would remain open-minded.

Once on the upper deck, they walked along the concourse. Stopping by a suite with sliding glass doors, Liam showed security their es. Once inside, Lorcan looked around, impressed by the lush surroundings. Big screen televisions everywhere, plush chairs, and round tables with three leather sofas. A bar and kitchen area.

There was Nick, holding a bottle of beer.

Judging by the thunderous look on Nick’s face, he was about to explode.

“Let’s keep the drama on the down-low,” Liam offered. “Lorcan told me everything on the way over. He didn’t know you were going to be here. Talk it out. I’ll go arrange the food.”

Liam exited, leaving them alone.

“Interfering bastard,” Nick ground out.

“He means well. He wants us all to be mates. Can we do that? Or have I mucked it up with you that there’s no repairing it? I know now I should have told you. But I honestly thought I was protecting you all. I swear that was my primary focus. It’s instinct, protecting the innocent. I’ve been doing it all my life.”

Lorcan explained about Ronan’s revenge book and how he has meted out that revenge before. He kept nothing back about his past or Ronan’s.

Nick took a seat on the sofa, Lorcan sat opposite. At least Nick listened.

“Well?” Lorcan asked, finished with his narrative.

“Trust is not something I hand out easily. And once lost—” Nick blew out an

exasperated breath. “I’m not saying the trust between us is gone, but it needs to build up again. Understand? I’ll stay for the game.”

“I understand. I won’t keep anything like that from you again.”

Lorcan held out his hand, Nick took it. Relief washed over him. Knowing he wasn’t going to lose Nick’s friendship was palatable.

Liam entered as they were shaking hands. “Hey, a good start. And the food is about to arrive. Do you mind if Paulie s us? I got him a ticket on the third baseline, but I thought he could get a bite here.”

Nick shrugged. “Okay by me. If he wants to stay after he eats, no worries on my end.”

“I doubt he will; we don’t socialize.” Liam whipped out his phone and typed in a message as two attractive women bought in trays of sausages and hamburgers, along with nachos and onion rings.

Lorcan leaned in and whispered, “I guess these are the perks of being friendly with Liam De Luca.”

Nick snorted. “As long as we don’t find out what it’s like to be his enemy.”

* * *

Sunday again, and time to watch the finale of their movie trilogy, Return of the King. They had ordered pizza, and Julie had prepared a Caesar salad. The empty pizza box sat on the floor, the odor of garlic, cheese, and Italian spices still hung in the air. Julie curled up next to Lorcan, a box of facial tissues in her lap.

“How long does it take to say goodbye at the end of a film?” Lorcan stated, his arm waving toward the television. “This has been going on for twenty minutes!”

Julie punched him lightly in the chest. The hobbits were having a tearful farewell on the shore. “This is so sad, and besides, I heard it was like this in the book.”

Lorcan laughed and hugged her closer. “Only teasing. I the ending of the movie and the book.”

“Did you read them?” Julie asked as Frodo and Gandalf climbed aboard the ship.

“Aye, I did. At sixteen. I became determined to get through it all. I found it slow going, but enjoyed it. I’ll have to get this extended set for myself.”

“I want to change the subject. It’s Thanksgiving dinner in a few weeks. My parents wanted me to invite you. It would mean an overnight trip to Philadelphia, but I promise you’ll have your own room. I don’t want to explain to my parents the intricacies of our relationship, and I doubt you do either. It’s okay if you’d rather not come. But my mother does cook a hell of a turkey dinner.”

“Does it mean a lot to you that I am there?”

Julie smiled. “It would be nice. I’m bringing a friend, that’s all they need to know. We are friends.”

“Most definitely. Good, good friends.”

“It’s only one night, and the bonus is you’ll get a great meal. Fourth Thursday in November. We’ll be back Friday night. Philly’s a little over two and a half hours’ drive.”

“I’ve never had a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal before. Thanksgiving with mummy and daddy it is.”

“Thank you!” Julie kissed his cheek, took his hand, and led him to the kitchen. “I have a surprise. I made a cake for us! It’s become one of my bestsellers.” She opened the fridge and set the container on the counter. “I hope you like it. Peanut butter cake with brown sugar frosting and dark chocolate ganache drizzled over the top.” She removed the cover and said, “Ta-da!”

“Looks delicious. Good thing I’m only here for a couple more months, your cakes are too tempting.”

She turned to face him. “Why don’t you stay here in Rockland City?”

Lorcan snorted. “Working for the De Lucas? I don’t think so.”

Again, the fact he was not staying cut deep, making her angry and resentful. This time, she couldn’t hold back.

“No, I guess you got what you wanted from the De Lucas—the Mercedes and the money—just like you got what you wanted from me.”

“Don’t say that. It’s not why I’m with you.”

Julie blinked, her eyes glazed with annoyance. “Then, why? Why are you with me? For once, can’t you tell me what you feel for me beyond pat generalities? I mean, what you really feel? You keep saying you’re leaving, that you can’t stay in one place.”

Julie huffed, determined to continue on. It was long past due that she let Lorcan know how she was feeling. “This is not a forever thing. But why do you keep making me think that it could be? And you do, whether you realize it or not. To me—a could-be is worth exploring. I don’t have to travel the world to know that.”

She paused, waiting for him to speak. He didn’t. His face remained imive, though his lips thinned.

“Come on, Lorcan, talk to me or tell me to shut up, but give me some reaction.”

All her pent-up frustrations poured out. There was no calling back the words now. Might as well put it all out there.

Julie had been very ive and patient with Lorcan’s various issues, but that had reached critical mass. Her emotions had taken over.

Exhaling, she took a step closer and poked him in the chest. “Or here’s a suggestion, it the truth of your feelings, whatever it is, and I’ll do the same. We always talk around it. Be honest with me. Be honest with yourself. Is it so hard?” Her voice raised a few notches with each sentence until it ended in a shrill tone.

Lorcan’s eyes narrowed. Without saying a word, he grabbed his jacket and headed down the back hallway.

“That’s it! Leave!” she yelled after him. The door slammed in response.

He did it again. He walked out. Unreal.

A few tears snaked down her flushed cheeks as she opened the drawer and pulled out a big knife. He didn’t want to discuss anything serious?

No problem, piece of cake.

Speaking of which, one-quarter of the cake should be enough for a serving. Julie raised the knife. It hovered there as her hand began to tremble.

Julie innately understood that she wouldn’t stop at one piece. She’d eat the whole damned thing and lick the plate to boot. Snort the remaining crumbs through a straw or a rolled-up dollar bill.

Get control.

Julie took big gulps of air and exhaled as she slowly lowered the serving knife to the counter. Taking three steps back, she wiped the moisture from her face.

Be damned if she would give in to destructive feelings of self-pity and her frustration toward Lorcan and gorge on the sugary, calorie-laden confection.

In the past, she would have given in to the temptation of emotional eating. She would have drowned her negative emotions with forkful upon forkful of the decadent dessert. With a ragged breath, she placed the cover on the cake and returned it to the fridge.

Tomorrow, she would take it to work—and sell it.

Taking deep breaths, she exhaled as her pounding heart slowed down to a normal rhythm. She hadn’t let out anger like that in a very long time. The frustration had been building for a while.

As she stepped into the hallway, Julie realized she hadn’t heard Lorcan’s car depart. A soft knock sounded at the back entrance. She opened the door.

Lorcan.

Before she could speak, he swept her into his tight embrace, then kissed her deeply. After several minutes, he broke the kiss but still held her close enough she felt his heart banging in his chest at a rapid pace.

They did not speak.

Lorcan stepped back and cupped her face, gazing at her as if she was a precious, fragile gift. Julie could drown in those sea green-blue eyes of his.

Whether he was aware of it or not, a potent mix of emotions was clearly evident in his intense gaze. What particular ones, Julie was not entirely sure.

He pulled her into another hug and nuzzled her neck. Julie couldn’t resist any longer, so she wrapped her arms around him. The realization struck her that she would have to tread carefully here. It was now obvious Lorcan had a hell of a hard time verbalizing his emotions. So he let his kiss and embraces say what he could not form into words.

Something had changed between them tonight.

A deeper intimacy had been reached. A promising start.

Maybe even a step forward into something—more.

For a brief period, a handsome, wonderful man cared for her. That was more than most people experience in their lives.

Could it be selfish to want—more?

Already they were good friends and very compatible in bed. Would it be such a leap off the precipice to a genuine, deep relationship? To respect, trust, and love?

He couldn’t even speak to her about his past or reveal his secrets. Or deeper emotions. Maybe he didn’t trust her enough.

Or maybe the truth of it was he didn’t trust himself.

At that moment, she realized she’d been deluding herself all along.

Stay casual and distant.

What a colossal failure.

She was falling for him. Worse, Julie had fallen. Some time ago.

But she wasn’t alone in the delusion.

Lorcan’s fierce and desperate kiss and the way he held her so tight yet with a solemn gentleness also proved he deluded himself as well.

Oh, lord. Julie was in a real pickle.

They both were.

Chapter 18

Fourth Thursday in November

The autumn day was a bright and sunny one. Lorcan had to it he enjoyed the colorful view of the countryside as they drove. The golden kaleidoscope of auburn red and bright yellow leaves made for portrait-perfect scenery. A sudden gust of wind caught a few amber leaves, and they fluttered to the ground. They fell at a faster rate as the month drew to a close.

Lorcan and Julie were heading north on the I-95 toward Philadelphia. The end of November had arrived quicker than he would have guessed.

Their relationship had taken on a deeper intimacy since the night they had watched Return of the King. Yet, a disconnect existed between those intense emotions he was feeling and how to verbalize them.

Look at his reaction when Julie had demanded to know why he was even seeing her if he wouldn’t let her get closer. The first time he had ever seen her angry— and he couldn’t blame her.

Lorcan deserved her wrath. All of it. It was all on him.

Then he had acted like a complete arse by stomping out again. But once outside, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. He’d stood in the darkened parking lot while those warring emotions rolled through him. He had every intention of telling her how he left.

But the words choked off in his throat. Instead, his kiss and embrace said everything he’d felt in his heart. He only hoped that Julie understood what he couldn’t bring himself to verbalize.

Since then, they had spent more time together, in bed and out of it. Friendship had grown along with that deeper intimacy.

But time was winding down.

Leaving was something he did not want to contemplate today.

An hour later, they turned into the paved circular driveway of a Cape Cod house in the Northwest section of Philly. The home was immaculately situated. An American flag fluttered and snapped in the breeze from a flag pole on the side of the house.

The residence had a gray brick and siding exterior with well-trimmed gardens and shrubs framing the property. A Lexus sat in front of a two-car garage.

He walked to the front door and was immediately greeted warmly by an older

middle-aged couple.

Julie’s father grabbed his hand and pumped it enthusiastically. “Call me, Charlie. Do you know anything about American football?”

“Dad,” Julie laughed. “Allow Lorcan to come into the house before you start with the questions.”

“No, I know nothing about it,” Lorcan smiled.

Charlie immediately slung his arm around Lorcan’s shoulders. He had the look of a kind man, and his thinning salt-and-pepper hair and slight paunch showed he must be in his early sixties or late fifties.

“Then you are in for a treat. Nothing goes together like turkey and NFL football. When Julie told me you were from Ireland, I bought Kilkenny as she suggested. Let’s go to my den. I have a big-screen HDTV, and you can see every bead of sweat!”

Lorcan found himself steered away from Julie. He looked back, feeling uncertain, yet she waved at him with an enormous smile on her face.

* * *

Julie followed her mother into the kitchen. The turkey roasted in the oven, and

the smell was divine.

Julie opened the oven door and peeked in. “Mom, it’s huge. There are only four of us, you know.”

Her mother smiled. “You can take leftovers home with you. I know how much you love turkey sandwiches. I’m sorry that Veronica, Nick, and Tyler had other plans.”

Julie picked up a cranberry and popped it in her mouth, then opened a drawer, reached for a carrot peeler, and ed her mother in the prep work for the vegetables. “I’ve should have brought one of my cakes for dessert.”

“Not for Thanksgiving; it’s pumpkin pie or nothing. But I’m so glad that the bakery is working out for you and that you enjoy working with Veronica.”

Julie glanced up and gave her mother a warm smile. “Thanks, Mom. It really is working out.”

Her parents had agreed to lend her money to buy into the bakery. The family lawyer was in the process of drawing up an agreement satisfactory to all parties.

“So—Lorcan Byrne. Julie, he is stunning. Like he walked out of one of those men’s fashion magazines. Quite good looking.”

“Mom!” Julie laughed.

“I’m not dead, dear. I can ire male beauty when I see it. But beyond that, you wouldn’t be interested in him just for his looks.”

“No, I’m not. There is so much more to him.”

“So, is it serious between you?”

Julie continued to peel the carrots. How to answer this? She didn’t want to go into a long explanation about the various, complicated layers of her relationship with Lorcan, sexual or otherwise.

“I don’t think so,” Julie replied flatly, peeling the carrots with a little more vigor.

“You mean he’s not serious. Julie, you’re falling for this man. I can see it on your face. You never could hide anything from me. I knew when you were a teenager that you hid candy and cookies and such. You have that same look on your face now.”

Julie laid the peeler on the counter. “You knew? You never said a word in all these years.”

Her mother kept peeling the potatoes, not breaking her stride. “Nagging you about your weight was not going to help. I wanted you to find your own path.

Besides, it didn’t matter to me what your weight is or was. All I wanted was for you to be happy and live your best life.” She cut the peeled potato in quarters and tossed them into the nearby stockpot. “I was so proud of you when you learned to love yourself. Both of us were. You have to come to your own conclusion about your feelings for Lorcan, too.”

Julie glanced toward the living room. The sounds of male laughter and football wafted from down the hall. “Mom, it doesn’t matter what I feel. He’s leaving in January and returning to Ireland. I’ll enjoy my time with him, then, move on.”

Her mother squeezed her hand. “You’ve always insisted on standing on your own two feet. You wouldn’t let your father and I furnish your apartment or help with the rent. A little stubborn maybe, but determined. You should tell him how you feel.”

“Maybe I’m stubborn, and yes, I am determined. I’m determined to not be hurt.”

“Oh, my dear. You’re going to be hurt whether you tell him or not. You’re in love with him.”

That statement hit her right between the eyes. Her mother spoke the truth.

She loved him, and the pain felt real, acute, and cutting.

Julie was afraid to tell him.

Ever since her teen days with the teasing and the humiliation, she had protected her heart. She never should’ve let things progress this far with Lorcan.

Too late.

To say goodbye to him now or in January would hurt just the same. Better to embrace the time she had left.

Julie met her mother’s gaze. “I love him very much. But I’ll be fine, Mom, I promise. I’ve grown stronger over the years, and even more so these last few months.”

It was true. But the truth could be cold comfort.

* * *

Julie’s mother had been attentive by keeping his plate, wine glass, and now his coffee mug filled. Lorcan had to it, he was having a good time. He genuinely liked Julie’s parents. They made him feel welcome. Even enjoyed watching football with Charlie, even though a general explanation of the rules left him confused. Give him the Bohemians in the League of Ireland, which was his kind of football.

As the ladies rose to clear the table, Lorcan automatically did the same, as it was something ingrained from childhood. All his siblings pitched in after a meal had been completed.

Charlie clapped his shoulder. “Come with me, Lorcan. I have some fine whiskey I would like you to try.”

Charlie Barnes was none too subtle. He wanted to talk to him alone, and Lorcan could guess about what.

My intentions.

Shite, all fathers wanted to know that question from any man their daughter might bring home. He’d expected this.

He followed Charlie into his study, and he closed the door behind Lorcan. Walking to the bar set up on the credenza, he motioned to the leather wing chairs next to the fireplace. “Take a seat, Lorcan.”

Lorcan’s mouth quirked slightly. “Will this be like the Spanish Inquisition then, Charlie?”

The man handed him a tumbler of scotch. “Maybe not quite that bad, unless you mean the Monty Python version. You are in the comfy chair. Or, I could poke you with the soft cushions.”

Lorcan laughed at Charlie mentioning the classic comedy skit. “A man after my own heart. Love Python myself.”

“I have the complete DVD set. Maybe later we can watch a few episodes. But first, I do have something to get out of the way. About Julie.”

Lorcan looked down into the amber liquid in the crystal Glencairn glass. “Ask away, Charlie.”

Charlie Barnes sat across from Lorcan and took a slow sip. “She gave us the ‘just friends’ line, but there is more going on here, isn’t there?”

“Depends on your definition of ‘more.’ I care for Julie very much.”

Lorcan wasn’t going to tell the man he was shagging his daughter regularly and that he feckin’ enjoyed it and that it was beyond anything he experienced before. Or that his feelings were confused and had moved far beyond the caring stage. When he finally verbalized those emotions, it would be to Julie and no one else.

Charlie stirred the embers in the fireplace with the poker. Placing it back in the tool stand, he glanced at Lorcan. “All I ask is that you don’t hurt her. See, it may be old-fashioned, but we’re a close family. Her mother and I are used to our daughter confiding in us with complete honesty. Yet she is being awfully closemouthed about you, which makes me wonder how serious this is.”

Lorcan threw back a mouthful of the whiskey, and it burned a trail down his throat. This was the second person that had warned him not to hurt Julie. First Tyler and now Charlie.

A flicker of annoyance came to life deep inside him. Did he look or act like that much of an heartless, unfeeling bastard? He had to wonder.

“I’m leaving in January and returning to Ireland. Only here on a temporary work visa. Julie knows this and accepts it. We are together until I leave.”

Charlie frowned and shook his head. “I see. I’m sorry to hear that. I like you, Lorcan. I think you and Julie are good for each other. So you’re going to leave her. How exactly do you expect that will not hurt her?”

Jaysus.

Honestly? Lorcan was more than partway in love with Julie if he ever decided to be honest with himself. But he had nothing to offer any woman.

Be damned if he would relay all that to her da. It was shocking enough that he had finally itted to himself that love was definitely in the picture.

“I care for Julie, but that’s as far as it goes. If you don’t mind, Charlie, I’ve nothing else to say on the matter. Not to you, you follow?” He wasn’t unfriendly, but he was firm in his convictions. Emotions will be discussed with Julie and no one else.

Charlie gave a sorrowful shake of his head and took a sip of his drink.

The words Lorcan spoke left a bitter taste in his mouth. “I care, but that’s as far as it goes.”

What a feckin’ lie.

* * *

This is what I get for eavesdropping.

Julie stood outside the closed door of her father’s study. The temptation had been too great. She wished now she hadn’t.

What a kick to the gut to hear that Lorcan merely “cared for her, and that’s as far as it goes.” And to tell her father of all people. Her tightly clenched fist rested above her heart as if to stem the roar of pain.

It had been a mistake to bring Lorcan here.

She’d never brought a guy to meet her parents before, so of course, they were going to think there was something serious going on.

A hollowness had opened up inside her. Lorcan’s words merely acknowledged what she knew to be true.

Fleeting. No promises.

Julie had agreed to those , so she had no right to complain.

However, a glimmer of hope had sparked the last couple of months. That things between them had solidified into a could-be-permanent commitment. Guess not —on his part, at least.

On her part? She hoped and wished.

All for naught.

She slowly headed toward the kitchen. Drowning her sorrows in KP duty seemed a suitable way to try and forget what she had heard. Julie could never it her feelings to him now. How did she misread the signs and the way he held her, kissed her, made love to her?

Or did she misread what he had said to her father?

Lorcan was not a man to be pushed into anything against his will. Or be forced into itting feelings to a virtual stranger, even if it was her father. She had learned that much about him.

Throwing her shoulders back, she strode toward the kitchen with a renewed vigor of confidence. Perhaps she had not been wrong about Lorcan’s feelings after all.

* * *

Later that night, lying in one of the guest rooms, Julie stared at the ceiling as sleep was slow in coming. She may not have a lot of experience, but she knew what they shared was rare. Lorcan himself itted it. Why couldn’t love grow out of the sizzling physical heat they created?

And to hell with keeping her feelings to herself.

When the opportunity presented, she would tell Lorcan how she felt and let the chips fall where they may.

A loud noise pulled her from her thoughts. Perhaps her father was watching television. He always cranked up the volume. No, he and her mother went to bed thirty minutes ago.

Julie sat upright. Someone was yelling at the top of their lungs.

Lorcan.

She swung her legs across the side of the bed and jumped up, dashing into the

hall.

“Nooo! Drima, run! Hide!”

Her parents were already standing in the hallway, looking toward Lorcan’s door where the anguished cries had emanated from. Her father was in his undershirt and pajama pants, her mother clutched her housecoat.

“What is it?” her mother questioned worriedly.

Lorcan was screaming now, a torturous, blood-curdling roar of sheer terror and dread.

Julie clasped the handle on Lorcan’s door. “Go back to bed. He has nightmares. I’ll handle this.”

“Let us know if you need us, Julie,” her father said, concern lacing his voice. She nodded.

Julie quietly turned the handle and entered the room. Lorcan thrashed about the bed, the sheets and blankets in a tangle on the floor. The room was in complete darkness, but she dare not turn on a light. She hurried to the window and opened the blind so that the room was illuminated with bright moonlight.

His arms flailed about, and he knocked over the small bedside lamp. He

muttered angrily, “We could’ve saved them!” Then he cried out, a ragged howl of pain and anguish.

Julie sat on the bed. She could see by the moonlight a slick sheen of sweat covered his body. The look of utter torment on his face broke her heart.

Abruptly, he sat up straight in bed, scaring the life out of her. His eyes were wide open, but he seemed firmly in the grip of his night terror. His chest heaved.

“Bodies, butchered—blood. Death.”

Julie grabbed his broad shoulders and shook him hard. “Wake up, Lorcan. You’re having a nightmare.”

But his gorgeous eyes—that had looked at her with such tenderness and ion —were now filled with dismay. She forced his eyelids closed with her hand while still trying to push him back down on the bed.

“Wake up, Lorcan. You’re here with me, Julie. At my parents’ home in Philly.” She spoke in a firm voice but took care to keep the words gentle to not alarm him.

Finally, Lorcan flopped back down on the bed. He turned on his side and started to cry.

Julie’s heart contracted in pain and the sight of his heart-wrenching vulnerability.

“I’m going to touch you. Again, it’s Julie. No one else is here.”

She probably should have said this before shaking him, but he had been too deep in the throes of his night terror to hear her. If Lorcan was even hearing her now.

Clasping his shoulder, Julie turned him on his back. She reached for the box of facial tissue, grabbed a handful, and wiped the cold sweat and hot tears from his tense, handsome face.

“It’s all right. You’re awake now and safe,” Julie crooned gently while wiping away the fear.

The fog cleared from his eyes. “Julie?”

“Yes.” She dabbed the moisture from his anxious face. “Take deep, slow breaths. Look around the room. You are at my parents’ house, with me. Wherever you were before is not real.”

Lorcan glanced about the room and shakily exhaled.

“Can I lie down next to you?” Julie asked softly.

“Aye.”

Climbing into bed next to him, she curled him into her embrace and stroked his hair. How she would love this nearness and reassuring heat the rest of her days. He was like a living flame, flickering with an incandescent glow that could ignite the pilot light on a gas furnace.

After several minutes, Lorcan’s breathing returned to normal.

“Jaysus Christ,” he moaned.

“One of your nightmares?” she asked quietly.

“The same nightmare,” he croaked. “Over and bloody over again.”

Now wasn’t the time to pepper him with questions. Julie rocked him in her arms and started to hum the only Irish song she thought would be appropriate, the Irish lullaby from that old Bing Crosby movie where he played a priest. The local television station had shown it every Christmas Eve when she was a kid.

Lorcan’s soft sobs quieted eventually. Then he sat up partway, leaning on his elbow, staring down at her. His gaze was intense.

“What is it, Lorcan?” she whispered.

He kissed her nose. “iring the view, a stóirín.”

She moved aside a lock of hair that had fallen across his brow. “What does that mean, a stóirín? You’ve called me that before.”

“It means, my darlin’ or my treasure. And you are that never doubt it.”

Lorcan kissed her gently, then pulled her into his embrace. “Stay here with me. Please.”

Her heart soared. Then, Julie cuddled in close and let sleep take her at last.

Chapter 19

The trip back to Rockland City the next day had been a quiet one.

Lorcan had awoken and cringed as he recalled the nightmare and what occurred after.

To Julie’s credit—and to her parents, as Lorcan was sure they had heard his agonizing screams as well—they had acted at breakfast as if nothing had happened. With a hearty handshake and a plastic container full of leftover turkey, they were on their way.

Five hours later, he sat alone in his empty apartment. Too bad he had quit smoking eight years ago; he could use a damn cigarette right now. Instead, he had a drink. While slowly sipping his Irish whiskey, he closed his eyes, reliving every moment that he lay in Julie’s embrace as she rocked and hummed Too-raloo-ra-loo-ral to him while he sobbed like a wee babe. Julie had handled him and the situation with a depth of comion that stunned him.

It figured that the one time Lorcan had decided to stay with other people, the night terror returned with a potent force. He could still smell the burning flesh, the copper scent of blood. How embarrassing for Julie and her family to be exposed to his—weakness.

No, not weakness.

His guilt.

Welcome to my nightmare.

Lorcan threw back the last of the whiskey, slipped into his leather coat, and headed to his car. It was past time he spoke to someone, explained what was going on with him.

And who better than his beloved a stóirín?

* * *

Julie lay in bed reading, but as it stood, she had read the same page over and over for the last thirty minutes. Something between then had inexplicably changed, both had felt it, but neither spoke of it.

They’d hardly conversed on the way home. Lorcan had been deep in thought, and she wanted him to reveal more on his timeline, not hers. So, Julie let him be and didn’t ask questions. Pushing him into talking about such trauma would cause him to withdraw further. Or so she surmised.

The nightmare certainly explained his keeping a distance emotionally.

But now that she knew about his horrid nightmares, if not what they were exactly, would Lorcan become more determined to close himself off? Deep to her core, she knew it would be hard for him to speak of the night terrors he suffered or to relive the ghastly event.

The loud sound of the buzzer by the back entrance cut through her thoughts. Who in hell would be here at nine o’clock? The bakery had been closed two days for the Thanksgiving holiday. Ronnie wasn’t due to arrive until four-forty in the morning, and she had her own key.

This could be a drawback to living at a place of business. Deliveries maybe? No, Ronnie had told her they arrived during work hours, no other time. The buzzer rang again. They were certainly insistent.

Julie stood. Her oversized Baltimore Ravens jersey and black leggings would have to do as attire. She marched through the back hallway and peered through the peephole in the door.

Lorcan.

Julie opened the door. Lorcan looked entirely handsome with the autumn breeze ruffling his hair.

“Sorry to show up without calling. Can I come in for a wee bit?”

Julie stepped aside, and they headed toward the living room. “Can I take your coat?”

Lorcan seemed to hesitate. “No, I’m fine.”

He wasn’t planning on staying. A wave of queasiness clutched Julie’s insides.

She had witnessed too much.

Lorcan had to create a distance between them.

Well, as she told her mother, whether the break-up came now or a month from now, it would hurt like hell anyway.

And try as she might, she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“Is this the part where you say that it’s over between us?”

Lorcan plopped onto the sofa. “Sit down, Julie.”

She sat next to him, turning to face him. “You have family in Ireland. You’re determined to leave. I get that. You didn’t want anyone to know what you suffer. I get that, too. I forgot to tell you that I’m buying into Ronnie’s bakery and

taking on new responsibilities as assistant manager.”

He looked confused at the sudden change in topic but recovered quickly. “Congrats, darlin’.”

“My work history consists of being a cashier at various supermarkets, so this is a step up for me. I never went to college, even though my parents offered to pay. For years, I had no confidence in myself or my abilities. I’ve had a long, slow climb to gain even a small portion of it. But I have. I’m telling you this to let you know that I am strong enough to handle anything you want to say.”

Lorcan exhaled. “You think I’m here to break it off?”

“Aren’t you? I mean, there is less than six weeks before your departure.”

He took her hand, his thumb running against her pulse point, kicking it up a couple of notches. “I’m here to thank you for your comion and understanding. It means a lot to me. That nightmare was the worst I had experienced in some time.”

“Is this why you never stayed overnight except for the time I had heat exhaustion?”

Lorcan shuddered with the ragged release of his breath. “Aye. It comes at strange times; weeks and months can go by with nothing. Then, I can be plagued for several nights in a row. I didn’t want to burden you with this. Seems I did

anyway. That's why I slept on the couch the nights I stayed at your place. I didn’t want you to witness what I suffer from.”

“You can burden me with anything, Lorcan. Tell me about it, can you?” she urged, her voice soft.

“It happened while I served in the Irish army. We were part of a UN peacekeeping force. A small village near the Chad border, the name isn’t important. The people were starving. Even though we were there to protect them, we were also under a general mandate not to interfere, but some of us helped when we could. They were struggling to live. A few of us helped rebuild the small school, a hut, really. The children—” his voice trailed off. “I grew fond of the lot of them. Too attached to one in particular.”

Julie stroked his arm, encouraging him forward. “Was that the name you called out, Drima?”

“Aye. The wee lad was a fireplug, that one. Smart as a whip. If I could have adopted the little bloke, I would have.”

Julie leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Oh, Lorcan.”

“Two days after, we were told to stand down and camp in the nearby hills. It was then the Janjaweed Militia raided the village and killed everyone. There were body parts everywhere. We could do nothing since we were hampered by the UN resolution and army orders. Also, we were outnumbered. We couldn’t assist even if we wanted to, or we would’ve been killed. So, we stood there and watched— helplessly. The screams—I still hear them. Drima had been calling for me when

he was struck down.” Lorcan turned his head away.

Julie embraced him. This explained so much. His keeping people at a distance, the haunted look she had seen in his magnificent eyes on occasion. He was suffering. Maybe a form of post-traumatic stress disorder, but she really knew nothing about it. Had he received any professional help for these nightmares?

Again, she was tempted to ask, but Lorcan had to come to that conclusion himself. He never would’ve mentioned such private torments if he didn’t trust her. Another small kernel of hope bloomed deep inside.

The comion he showed for the villagers and the love he had for that little boy—so much love he would’ve adopted him—touched Julie in a place she did not know existed.

It made her love Lorcan all the more. Julie’s chest contracted in painful longing.

Oh, she had it bad.

After some minutes, Lorcan spoke. “This all proves I’m not ready for anything serious with anyone. It’s not you. It’s all on me.”

Looking into his eyes, Julie saw that he truly believed this. It wasn’t a lame excuse to be rid of her.

Heartache, here I come. So much for the kernel of hope.

“I see.”

“Let’s just continue on as we have, Julie. Unless you want to end it here.”

“No, I am not ending it here,” she said in a soft voice. “Anytime you want to talk, I’m here. You might not want to hear this, but in my eyes? You’re a hero. You ran into Nick’s burning bar and pulled him to safety. You did everything you could to help the people in that village. To help Drima. You did all you could do. And don’t say it wasn’t enough. And here’s a newsflash. You are not weak.” She trailed a couple of fingers along his chin. “Stay for a while. I can make us a pot of tea. Whip you up a turkey sandwich.”

Julie continued to stroke his face. “Or first, we can make love.” She stood, and held out her hand. “Come.”

Julie patted the bed on the opposite side. “Stay here, with me. Hold me. Make love to me.”

He sat and gave her such a look of yearning that her heart skipped a beat. “I need to feel alive. Bleedin’ hell, I need to—feel.” Lorcan plunged his tongue deep, tasting every inch of her mouth. “I need you, Julie.”

No frantic pulling of clothes, no buttons flying in all directions. They undressed slowly, keeping their heated gazes firmly in place. All it took was the slightest

touch from this man, and her body responded. Heat sizzled through her, settling in her feminine core. Already she was wet and throbbing, aching for him to fill her.

After removing her bra, he traced her pebbled nipple with the tip of his finger. Julie writhed and whimpered with each stroke. Lorcan took her nipple in his mouth and suckled, causing her to moan with desire. His hand trailed up her leg, caressing her thigh.

With a deep thrust, he plunged two fingers into her wetness and pumped as his thumb rolled across her hardened nub. She urged him on, grasping his wrist and pulling him in deeper, riding his hand with wild abandon. Julie’s climax came fast as her inner muscles clutched him tight.

He smoothed the matted hair from her face, and then he cupped her cheeks in his familiar way.

“What is it?” she asked softly.

His face hid nothing. Desire and yearning were evident, as well as—dare Julie think it? —perhaps even love.

“You are so beautiful. Never doubt it. You are the first woman to shine ribbons of light on my black soul. I don’t deserve you.”

Lorcan, once sheathed, positioned himself at her entrance. She spread her legs

apart once again, still holding his gaze.

“Beautiful, outside.” He kissed her lips tenderly. “And inside.” Lorcan pushed into her, and Julie arched off the bed.

How he filled her, she loved the sensation of their ing. The slide of skin again skin, the intimacy and the utter pleasure that snaked through her.

“This is where I want to be, just like this,” he whispered.

“Yes, like this,” she replied softly.

He thrust with a little more force but achingly slow. Then Lorcan captured her mouth, his tongue thrusts matching the plunge of his hips. Locking her legs about him, she met his increasingly rapid movements.

It was hard to know how much time ed. Julie had already climaxed twice and was on her way to a third. With a strangled cry, she reached another peak. Lorcan’s pace increased until his release slammed him.

He moaned, then withdrew, his breathing as ragged as hers. They lay side by side, staring at the ceiling, catching their breath, allowing their heartbeats to regulate.

That was intense. ionate. Absolutely fantastic.

“Julie.”

“Hmm?”

“You are a ionate woman, giving everything of yourself even when I hold back.” He turned, stroked her cheek, looking at her intently. “You are the most stunning woman I have ever known.”

Lorcan pulled her close, and she curled into his embrace. Tears collected on her eyelashes at his heartfelt words. The tender but wild way he had made love to her, his emotional declarations. He said plenty without actually using those three little words.

But now was not the time to reveal her feelings.

She had to think about this for a while. In the meantime, Julie would him in any way he would allow.

She loved him that much.

Chapter 20

The next few weeks rushed by, and Julie was kept busy. Her parents generously gave her the loan after the family lawyer inspected the business prospectus. When all had been deemed proper and fair, Julie signed on the dotted line and bought twenty percent of the bakery. She worked long hours but reveled in the added responsibility.

As far as Lorcan was concerned?

He didn’t mention his nightmares again, but Julie researched post-traumatic stress disorder and gained a greater understanding and sympathy. Her instinct had been correct about not pushing him to talk about it.

One website about PTSD encouraged doing normal things with the person who suffered. So Julie continued with their Sunday dinner and movie, socializing with Nick and Ronnie and inviting Sully for dinner a couple of times.

Julie even hosted a pre-Christmas buffet of finger foods and items from the bakery, including one of her cakes, inviting everyone, including Tyler and Aunt Carol.

As for the sex? It had taken on a potent intimacy, and they wound up in bed

more frequently as the weeks ed.

The next step in dealing with PTSD was patience and managing her own stress. Considering her penchant for experiencing harmful anxiety, that one was a challenge.

Also, Julie took to heart the advice of “expressing commitment to the relationship.” It was time to tell Lorcan of her feelings.

When Julie opened her door the Sunday before Christmas, she knew it was now or never.

Even if Lorcan accepted her pronouncement of love, how could they mesh their lives together? Would she give up on her cakes and the bakery and follow him across the ocean? Or would he stay in Rockland City with her and let go of his dream of returning and settling in Ireland?

Maybe they could do both.

She shook away those dreamy thoughts as she followed him into the living room.

After taking Lorcan’s leather coat and hanging it in her closet, she led him to her sofa. Once they were seated, Julie lightly caressed the prominent veins on the tops of his hands.

“About Christmas. I’m going to my parents for two nights,” she offered.

“That’s okay. I’ll spend time with Sully. We haven’t had a Christmas meal together in decades.” He gave her a brilliant smile.

She glanced around the room. “I wish now I put up a tree, even a small one. I’ll try and purchase one in those after Christmas sales. I’ll be home on the twentyseventh. I was going to ask if you wanted to exchange gifts.”

“I assumed that we were. I already got you one,” Lorcan replied.

Continuing the gentle stroking of his hand, Julie murmured, “Good, I got you one as well. Exchange them when I return?”

He lifted her hand and kissed it. The kiss was soft, gentle, and possessive. What she had to say next would no doubt kill the mood, but she would say it anyway.

“I want you to know this, Lorcan. These months we’ve spent together have been the best of my life. You are an amazing man. I’m in love with you. I can’t keep my feelings to myself anymore. I. Love. You. There, I said it. Finally. And I don’t expect you to say it back.”

Lorcan remained quiet for some time.

Julie gently lifted his chin with two fingers so he would look at her. The torment

on his face nearly broke her heart.

“This was the last thing I wanted, for you to love me,” he said, regret in his voice. “I thought it could be avoided. I never wanted to hurt you, but it looks like I will anyway. I’m so sorry.”

Yes, she could see the remorse and heard it in his voice.

There would not be some big romance movie finish. Lorcan wouldn’t get down on his knees and declare his deep, abiding, and unwavering love, begging her to return to Ireland with him. He wasn’t going to sling her over his shoulder and carry her off to her bedroom to prove their enduring love.

No, instead, Lorcan would walk away.

Julie could’ve kept her little secret, said nothing, and he would’ve left anyway. This way, at least, she was honest and truthful to herself—and honest with him.

Julie waited.

Lorcan remained silent, reflective even.

Finally, he spoke. “Thank you for telling me. I will treasure the gift of your love, always. But I can’t return it.”

“Can’t—or won’t?”

He clicked his tongue. “I don’t know if I’m even capable. Pathetic, isn’t it? But thanks to you, I have felt more than I have these last few years. My heart is a charred cinder. It’s beyond repair, beyond hope.”

Julie stroked his chin. She was amazed at how strong she was being. Deep inside, she was falling to pieces, but outwardly?

Stay strong.

She kissed his cheek. “No heart is beyond hope or repair. I truly believe that. You’ve been through something horrible, Lorcan. I can’t begin to imagine it. Maybe if you talked to someone—”

He stood.

Here it comes.

He was going to walk out again. Whenever emotions overwhelmed him, he ran.

“I should go. I need time—to think. To process what you said. Call me when you get back. Will you do that, Julie? Don’t give up on me just yet.”

What could she say?

Maybe, Lorcan would have an epiphany over Christmas.

Why not? It was the time for miracles.

“I promise that I’ll call you when I get back from my parents. I’ll not give up on you, but you can’t keep pushing people away. First thing you know, there will be no one left to care about you. You have to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life alone, or if you want friends—or more importantly, someone to love.”

Julie stood and briefly laid her hand flat on his chest, right above his heart. “There is more going on between us whether you want to it it or not. Think good and hard on that, too.”

Lorcan opened the closet and slipped on his leather coat. She sat on the couch and exhaled, her hands shaking from the outpouring of raw emotions. The door opened, but then she was suddenly pulled from the sofa and up into his arms.

He kissed her hard, possessively, his tongue stroking every inch of her mouth until both of them groaned with desire. Then, he stepped away and strode out the door.

That kernel of hope just grew in size. He loved her, Julie had no doubt of it.

* * *

Lorcan needed to talk to someone. So, knowing both Sully and Nick were working, he headed to The Playpen. Sunday was not exactly the club’s busiest day, so it would be ideal for uninterrupted conversation.

After parking the car, Lorcan sauntered in. The place was half full, with two dancers on stage. Since it was close to Christmas, the dancers wore Santa hats and fur-trimmed lingerie. Two medium-sized artificial trees decorated with silver ornaments sat at opposite corners of the stage. Some gold tinsel hung around the perimeter of the walls.

“Hey, Nick,” Lorcan called out. His friend came over to stand in front of him. “You usually don’t work Sundays because Veronica is off; what’s up?”

“I said I’d take a four-hour shift today, A little extra money for Christmas. Besides, Veronica wanted to go Christmas shopping with her mother.”

“Ah, that’s right. What do you think of Mrs. Barnes? She’s staying with her son, yeah?”

“I like her. We’re all going out to dinner tonight. Guess I’ve been accepted into the Barnes family. What will you have? Or do I even have to ask? Connemara, right?”

“I hate being so predictable, but aye, serve it up.”

Nick nimbly poured the whiskey and slid the glass toward Lorcan. “You’ve something on your mind. You have that pensive look on your face.”

“Pensive, good word. Aye, as I said, predictable. It’s Julie.”

Nick leaned on the bar to give Lorcan his complete attention when Liam entered the club, quickly heading toward them.

Shite, so much for a heart-to-heart. Lorcan wasn’t much in the mood to discuss it via a nationwide hookup.

“Time to celebrate!” Liam said, a smile curved across his mouth. “Let’s be of good cheer because I’ve made a life-altering decision.”

Liam’s good cheer was jarring, for he never acted this way. His cousin sat at the bar and waved Sully over.

Taking a velvet box from his coat pocket, he set it reverently on the bar. “I’m going to propose to Mags in ten days. On Christmas day, to be specific. Get a load of the rock.”

Lorcan opened the box. A solitary diamond was surrounded by tiny sapphires.

“Too much time wasted,” Liam continued. “I should’ve fought for her years ago. I let her slip away, and my life was never the same without her. I’ve got a second chance, and I’m going to take it.”

Nick patted Liam on the shoulder. “Congratulations.”

Lorcan and Sully chimed in as well.

Liam bought drinks for them all, and as Lorcan sipped his whiskey, he thought over Liam’s words: I let her slip away, and my life was never the same without her.

Aye, he had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

For the past decade, Christmas for Lorcan had been nothing more than just another day. All those years in the army, he might be lucky enough to receive the occasional hot Christmas meal, but after stuffing himself—with stuffing—it was back to the business of so-called peacekeeping.

Once he’d ed the NSIS, he had—for the most part—spent the holidays alone. No decorations, no fancy meal, and no mince pie or Christmas pudding. While with the NSIS, he found himself rarely in Ireland. Instead, he had been off on assignment.

One particular Christmas had been spent in bed with a woman he had under surveillance. After the meaningless encounter with the suspect/stranger, he had returned to his place and got thoroughly inebriated. Sitting in his half-empty room in the dark, Lorcan drunkenly sang Christmas carols and immersed himself in maudlin memories of Christmases long ago.

As a kid, he’d been thrilled when he’d found a Lego set under the tree. His family was not well off, and seven kids meant the gifts were spread pretty thin, but his parents had tried their best. He’d always vowed he would try and give any kids he had those kinds of Christmas memories, the ones that kept you from falling off the dark cliff late at night when drowning in a vat of self-pity—or a vat of Kilkenny.

So here he sat on Christmas day with Sully at The Playpen, eating a reheated Christmas Eve dinner the staff had the day before.

They were both quiet and reflective. Lorcan didn’t want to bring up Julie and her declaration of love, for he still couldn’t process her heartfelt words.

She loved him. It stunned him, amazed him, and frightened him all at once.

Aye, I’m a pathetic mess, no two ways about it.

Sully poured Lorcan another glass of wine. “For a man who loves a chinwag, you’re being way too quiet, Lorcan. What’s amiss? Is it Julie? Why didn’t you get an invitation from her parents? Is that why you look like your guts have been

kicked out?”

Lorcan reached for the wine and sipped. “I really don’t want to discuss Julie, mate.”

Sully raised an eyebrow. “Talk to me. Something happened.”

Lorcan slumped back in his chair, holding his wine glass in front of him so tightly, he almost snapped the stem. “She loves me.”

So much for not bringing it up.

Sully let out a bark of cynical laughter. “And that has you depressed? Jaysus.”

Lorcan took another swig. “I don’t want her, or anyone, to love me.”

Sully frowned. “Now that is utter bollocks. I know you, Lorcan, or at least I thought I did. We haven’t talked about it because I don’t like to pry. You can’t keep people at arm’s length, mate. It’s not in the nature of a human. Bloody hell, it’s not in your nature. A lovely woman is in love with you. Poor you.”

Lorcan glanced up at Sully. “She deserves better. Julie deserves someone capable of loving her in return, without reservations. Someone not—damaged.”

Sully stood, pushing his chair back with a good deal of force. “Now you’re reaching for excuses. What a lame-arse rationalization. Answer me this, truthfully, do you love her?”

“Even if I do love her, I’m not ready for any kind of relationship.” Lorcan looked down into his near-empty wine glass. “Something did happen in the army, and it changed me. Julie said that I should talk to a professional about it. As in long-term.”

“Oh? You’ve told Julie what haunts you? Christ, man. That is love. Sharing everything, your fears, and your darkest secrets. You love her,” Sully said, his voice firm. “There’s no denying it, so don’t even try.”

Lorcan was about to reply when his iPhone started to vibrate. He glanced at the screen.

Liam.

He had told Uncle Vinnie he would be available tonight, but he never dreamed either Vinnie or Liam would call, not on December 25th of all nights.

“What is it, Cousin?”

“Pick me up right away, at the condo. Be quick about it!” Liam snarled.

“Aye, I’ll be there in—”

Liam hung up in his ear.

“Happy Christmas to you, too, Liam,” he mumbled.

Lorcan stood and reached for his coat. “I have to go. The heir apparent wants a pick-up.”

Sully shook his head. “You’re better than this, taxi service to mobsters? Even if they are your family. Hell’s bells, mate.”

Lorcan shrugged. “Maybe, but I needed this downtime, Sully. Not much effort in driving, brain-wise or otherwise. We haven’t discussed the investigate firm lately. It’s time we did. And we will, soon.”

Lorcan slipped the iPhone into his coat pocket. He clapped his cousin affectionately on the shoulder. “Thanks for dinner. And the advice.”

“Aye, and we will continue that conversation about Julie soon as well, yeah? Good night.”

His head was swimming, and the turkey and gravy did flip-flops in his stomach. As Lorcan drove toward Carmarthen Street, he wondered, was Sully right? Telling Julie about his nightmares proved he loved and trusted her?

Frankly, he was weary of all this internalizing and inner thoughts, but it was the only way he could sort through his confused state of mind and the complicated emotions that accompanied it.

He knew he was at risk for self-destructive behavior due to the PTSD, whether he had a mild case or not, and it was another reason he constantly mulled everything over in his mind. Lorcan also understood it affected self-worth, causing doubt.

Being with Julie wouldn’t cure him of his terrors and other issues, but her would be of great assistance. It had been already. So would someone who was trained to deal with PTSD. He needed to see a professional, for he had put it off long enough.

Lorcan pulled up in front of the condo, and there stood Liam, his face like thunder.

Great, what happened?

That thought no sooner formed when Maggie Leary, long brown hair flying, stormed out the front door and threw a leather coat at Liam. Some choice words were exchanged. Lorcan could hear her calling him a cheating son of a bitch.

Liam and his wee lass were fighting on Christmas night?

Chalk one up for true love, he thought cynically.

Liam opened the car door and slid into the back seat, slamming it with a good deal of force. He held up his hand while he punched numbers into his cell with the other.

“Hey, Tiffany? Meet me at the Belvedere, room three-twelve. I already called and booked it. I know I said we couldn’t see each other anymore. It’s tonight or never again. Your choice,” Liam barked.

He ended the call, his face tense. Lorcan kept watching him in the rear-view mirror.

Liam looked irritated and hurt. Misery swam in his eyes.

“The Belvedere,” Liam mumbled.

“Aye.”

If Liam hadn’t cheated before, he was about to now.

And all of this was none of his business.

The car was like a tomb, silent and a bit foreboding.

Finally, Liam spoke. “Did I fuck up your plans tonight? Pop said you were available, so I called you instead of Paulie.”

“No plans. The lady I’m seeing is out of town,” Lorcan replied.

He hoped that his cousin was not in the mood to spill his guts because he wasn’t in the mood to listen. He had enough problems of his own without listening to Liam’s. Thankfully, his cousin sat back in his seat and stayed silent the rest of the way to the hotel.

While Liam was occupied, he would mull over his conversation with Sully.

“So, you’ve told Julie what haunts you? Sharing everything, your fears, and your darkest secrets. You love her. There’s no denying it, so don’t even try.”

There was no denying it.

Lorcan loved Julie with every fiber of his damaged heart and soul.

Chapter 21

Ronan McCarthy had arrived in Rockland City with little fanfare. Once the plane landed in Baltimore, he took a hotel room there. Better to stay away from any potential scene of a crime.

After researching trucks on the internet, he rented a GMC Sierra Heavy Duty truck using false identification.

He had a plan; it would require quick action and a swift departure.

Why rent such a bloody gigantic truck?

In Ronan’s mind, it would be the only vehicle able to run a Lincoln Navigator off the road, or at least it would give him an even chance. He assumed that Lorcan still drove it as the rental was a De Luca employee perk. Why would he give it up?

He didn’t even tell Kieran De Luca he was in the state. The less who knew, the better. For the past four months, Ronan had been handling the stolen car ring for Kieran, it involved a lot of travel and a lot of false identities, and during this time, his plan of revenge on Lorcan took shape.

In retrospect, he could have asked Kieran if Lorcan was still driving the Navigator, but that would raise suspicion. Kieran had mentioned Lorcan was a driver for Vinnie De Luca. Another reason Lorcan would still have the Navigator, but Ronan would have to make sure the boss wasn’t in the vehicle.

But it wasn’t a deal-breaker.

If the boss of the family was injured or worse, who would care? Merely collateral damage. It would mean Kieran would rise in importance within the crime family and Ronan along with him.

But all that was a mere distraction.

Acquiring payback and striking out Lorcan’s name in his book of revenge was of paramount importance.

His other cousin, Sully?

Another time and place.

It was Christmas night, and he drove around Rockland City, refamiliarizing himself with his surroundings. He drove past Lorcan’s flat. There was no Navigator in the parking lot. Which meant he no longer had it, or he was out somewhere.

Cursing, Ronan drove by The Chief, and a cruel smile curved about his lips when he saw the damage done to the shite biker’s bar. New windows had been installed, but the door had not been replaced as yet. And it was still closed.

Kieran told him that Crocetti had wound up in the hospital with burns. In Ronan’s mind, the revenge was meted out, and he no longer cared about Crocetti’s existence.

The next stop was The Playpen.

No Navigator there, either.

Frustrated and pissed off, Ronan drove around the near-empty streets, wondering what to do next. Should he stay in Baltimore a few more nights, stake out Lorcan’s flat to get a sense of his comings and goings?

Maybe he should have done that in the first place.

But he didn’t wish to linger. The longer you stay in one place, the more mistakes that are made.

Large snowflakes fell from the sky. And for the next ten minutes, visibility was poor. Turning on the wipers, Ronan came to a traffic light.

Two cars ahead was a black Lincoln Navigator.

Could it be? What would be the odds?

He had to get a look at the plates, for he had the license number. A giddy excitement took hold, causing his heart to beat at a rapid pace. He followed behind, and eventually, the other cars ahead of him turned off onto side streets. Thankfully the snow had all but stopped, but the roads were slick, as a couple of inches had fallen.

As he edged closer, Ronan squinted to get a better look at the license plate.

Shite, it was him.

Now to remain patient, as the car was heading out of town. If he was going to do his standard “running someone off the road,” it had to be done where there would not be any witnesses, or as few as possible, as he would be ditching the vehicle if need be.

He gripped the steering wheel with his gloved hands. And there would be no prints to get from the truck, either.

The sign changed to fifty miles an hour. The Navigator picked up speed, and Ronan did as well. They were on the outskirts of the city, heading north toward Baltimore. Perfect.

Damn his cousin Lorcan. For years of bossing him about. For manhandling him and tossing him out of Rockland City.

Ronan’s anger grew to a toxic level the more he recalled past incidents involving his cousin. Red fury gripped him to such an extent that caution flew out the window.

Alone on the road with the Navigator, it was now or never.

Ronan hit the accelerator, coming up alongside the Lincoln. The windows were darkened, and he couldn’t see in.

Snarling with frustration, he jerked the steering wheel and bumped the Navigator.

The vehicle’s brakes screeched, the car skidded sideways in the slush, hit the guard rail, and went through it, careening down an embankment. The Navigator rolled once, twice, three times, landing upside down.

What the feck?

He barely touched it! Why did Lorcan lose control like that?

Ronan parked on the side of the road. There was still no one around. He had to take a quick look.

Scrambling down the embankment, he raced toward the vehicle. The wheels were still spinning. Pulling his scarf over his face and pulling his hood down, he opened the car door. Someone was inside, still strapped in with the seat belt. The airbags had all deployed.

It wasn’t Lorcan.

It was an unconscious woman.

Ronan roared in frustration and anger and returned to the truck. Taking a flashlight out of his pocket, he inspected the GMC. Some scraps and a dent.

He could it off as minor damage sustained from a shopping trolley and pay the amount to have it fixed.

No one would know the difference.

In the meantime, Lorcan would have to wait. He had no idea who the woman was and didn’t bloody well care.

Ronan had to get out of the country—and fast.

* * *

Lorcan sat in the bar of the Belvedere Hotel nursing a Black Bush.

Sitting alone on Christmas night. He was sick of it.

But, if he insisted on pushing people away, he’d probably be alone on Christmas night and every night that followed. It was a grim realization.

He took a sip and glanced around the bar. There were only a couple of other people who, like him, had no one to go home to.

It was certainly this time of the year when want and loneliness were keenly felt —to sort of quote Dickens.

And what would his Ghost of the Christmas Future show him? A man in his fifties with a slight paunch, sitting alone at a bar on Christmas night sucking back whiskey shots to numb the pain and solitude.

Brilliant.

He raised his glass to the man at the other end of that bar that pretty much fit that description. The man cocked an eyebrow and looked back down into the depths of his amber liquid.

So much for Christmas cheer.

Examining it, he didn’t want to be the miserable man at the end of the bar on the dark side of fifty or any vision of a booze-fueled Dickens future.

As he headed toward the thirty-minute mark of his self-pity Christmas party, his iPhone buzzed in his pocket.

“Hello?”

“Is this Lorcan Byrne?” a deep voice questioned. Not Liam and not Uncle Vinnie, and they were the only ones that had this number.

“Aye, who’s this?”

“Kieran. Pop gave me this number. I’m trying to reach Liam, but I keep getting his voice mail. Are you with him?”

“Aye, and I’ll not say where as per your brother’s instructions.”

“Well, tell him to stuff it back in his pants. It’s important. Life or death important,” Kieran barked.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s his precious Mags. She’s been in a car accident. Can you get him to the hospital right away? Do you need help getting him there? I can send a guy over.”

Need help?

He could use Nick.

He’d rather have Nick assist him than some goon the De Lucas kept on the payroll. Because Lorcan knew that his cousin would go to pieces. He’d either have a breakdown or tear the hotel room apart. Or both.

“What do I tell him about the accident?”

“It’s serious. That Liam had better get there right away. Go now. Pop and I are en route to RCG, Rockland City General. We’re lucky we have s with certain EMTs, or we would’ve known nothing about it.”

“Right. We’ll meet you there.”

He clicked off and called Nick. Luckily, he didn’t live far from the Belvedere.

“Nick, can you meet me in the lobby of the Belvedere right away? I have to go upstairs and give Liam some bad news, and I’d rather have reinforcements. His lady was in a car accident.”

“I can be there in five minutes.”

Despite Ronan stirring up trouble, despite Nick being angry over the revelation about the fire, his friend was there when he needed him. Lorcan didn’t deserve his friendship.

Since they had reached an accord at the ballgame some weeks ago, they slowly made their way back to almost the same point they were before Ronan’s letter had arrived.

It wasn’t only Julie he would be leaving behind, but the friends he had made. Those roots had burrowed deep. And Lorcan included Liam in that mix.

After tossing a twenty-dollar bill on the bar, he hurried toward the elevators. No matter how hard he tried to avoid it, he was pulled into Liam’s dramas whether he liked it or not.

Not four minutes later, Nick hurried through the front entrance. “How bad is it?” he asked.

“I’m not certain. Kieran says it’s serious. Liam won’t take this news well. He could trash the room. Uncle Vinnie and Kieran didn’t want to deal with him, so it

was left to me. I appreciate you coming.”

“No problem, and you’re right about Liam. Glad to help out.”

Standing in front of room 316, Lorcan banged on the door. Why hadn’t Kieran called through to the room? Obviously, he didn’t want to deal with Liam and the fallout, so it off to someone else. Coward.

He kept knocking until he heard heavy footfalls and cursing come toward the door. Liam threw it open, his face thunderous. He had a towel wrapped around his hips.

“What? You were told…Nick? Lorcan? What are you doing here?”

“We have news,” Nick replied gravely.

“Your brother rang my mobile,” Lorcan interjected. “It’s life and death, he said.” Lorcan looked around Liam inside the room, glancing at the phone on the desk beyond.

Liam followed his gaze. “Ringer’s off. I told the desk do not disturb, see the sign?” Lorcan glanced at the door handle where the sign hung. “Stay here and don’t move.”

A woman with a sheet wrapped around her poked her head outside the bedroom

door.

“Get my phone, now!” he yelled to her.

“Don’t bother calling Kieran. I have the message,” Lorcan called out to him.

The woman ducked her head back in and slammed the door.

“What is it?” Liam asked, wariness on his tense face.

“Maggie has been in a car accident, and it’s serious. We’re here to take you to the hospital,” Lorcan replied.

Liam turned white, then dropped to his knees. A bloodcurdling wail of agony tore from his throat.

Big, tough Liam De Luca shuddered in a mass of grief and pain. The noise brought the woman out of the room again.

Lorcan sprinted toward her, grabbing her arm and pushing her none too gently into the bedroom.

“Get dressed.” He reached in his pocket and peeled off a few twenties, tossing

them on the bed. “Call a cab from the lobby.”

“What’s going on?” the woman’s nasal voice whined.

“Nothing that concerns you. I’m giving you five minutes to get dressed and get downstairs. Move!”

Lorcan slammed the bedroom door. Liam was still on his knees, oblivious to the fact the towel had fallen away.

Jaysus, that he didn’t need to see.

Nick tried to bring Liam to his feet. It wasn’t easy. He struggled in Nick’s tight grip, roaring in pain.

“Come on, man. Keep it together. We’ll take you to the hospital,” Nick said, his voice soft.

Reluctantly, Liam stood, taking the towel Lorcan held out for him. Liam appeared to be in a state of shock. Christ, would they have to dress the man?

The bedroom door opened, and the woman breezed past.

She hesitated as if she were going to say something to Liam. But Lorcan pushed her out of the suite, slamming the door after her.

“Get dressed. Hurry,” Nick instructed Liam as he pushed him toward the bedroom.

“She’s dead. I know it,” Liam whispered miserably. “My fault—we fought. She threw the engagement ring in my face.”

Lorcan reached for Liam’s clothes and tossed them to him. “Recriminations later, mate. For now, she needs you.”

Liam nodded as if in a trance, then began to dress.

Lorcan stepped out and closed the door, exhaling on a long, ragged breath. Not an ideal situation, getting caught up in his cousin's tragedy. But here he was, firmly entrenched. It amped up his shaky stress level.

But this wasn’t about him. Not at all.

The door opened, and Liam stepped out with his coat on, ready to go. As they emerged from the elevator into the underground parking, Liam slid into the front enger seat, staring straight ahead. Nick climbed into the back seat.

Lorcan quickly barked commands, and the display showed him the quickest way

to Rockland City General. He backed out, and with tires screeching, pulled out onto the street and floored it. Thankfully traffic was light, being Christmas night.

Most sane people were home sitting in front of the Christmas tree drinking eggnog. He just hoped that no coppers were about because he exceeded the speed limit. Good thing he had a particular talent for weaving in and out of traffic and driving with the right balance of speed and caution.

Finally, Liam spoke. “She’d been following me. It was her that day at the hotel. She thought that I cheated on her. All these weeks, she never said a word. Just let it fester.”

Lorcan winced. So, it had been Maggie Leary in the Camry, wearing a wig, no doubt.

“She waits until Christmas day to unload on me,” Liam continued. “I’d just asked her to marry me. As I said, she threw the ring in my face. We fought. Things were said on both sides. I’ll never forgive myself if she—” Liam gulped, his voice laced with misery. “I love her so damned much.”

“So why were you in a hotel with another woman?” Nick asked matter-of-factly.

Liam turned toward Nick. “I can’t explain why. Get this, nothing happened. I was stalling. In the end, I couldn’t do it. I’d waited for Mags for so long. Fuck. I sound pathetic.”

Lorcan exhaled. Liam didn’t deserve this. And poor Maggie Leary. Lorcan hoped she would be all right.

“You’re not pathetic, Cousin,” Lorcan said. “Love will do that to you, cause you to do or say impulsive things.”

Or not do or say what should be done or said.

Pulling up to the emergency room doors, Liam bolted from the car before Lorcan could turn off the ignition. Lorcan and Nick followed on Liam’s heels until they reached the information desk.

The woman gave instructions, and they sprinted to the emergency room. Kieran was waiting in the hall.

The two brothers embraced briefly. Liam stepped back. “What is it?”

Kieran grasped his elbow and steered him toward the waiting room. “Come in here.”

That didn’t bode well.

Kieran didn’t want to say in the hall? Lorcan and Nick followed them into the room and closed the door.

Uncle Vinnie stood by, looking grave.

“She died not fifteen minutes ago, Son. I’m sorry for your loss,” Vinnie said, his voice soft with regret.

Tears spilled down Liam’s cheeks. Vinnie pulled him into an embrace, but Liam kept his arms at his side.

“I want to see her,” Liam’s voice sounded flat and detached.

“Liam, I’m not sure that’s a good idea—” Kieran ventured.

“Take me to her.”

Liam stepped forward but stumbled.

His father took his arm and led Liam from the room. Kieran stayed behind.

“The doctor said she was two months pregnant. Pop said we’d better keep that information to ourselves for now. I agree. Maggie died of internal injuries, probably from the airbags. Her lungs filled with blood.”

“Jesus,” Nick muttered.

“Can you guys hang about? We’ll need you.”

“Aye, Kieran, we’ll stay in the waiting room,” Lorcan replied.

Kieran departed.

Nick slumped into a nearby chair. “Merry Christmas,” he mumbled.

“Aye, happy bloody Christmas.”

“I’m going to call Veronica, give her the update.”

Lorcan nodded and stepped out into the hall. He heard a distant wail of agony from one of the emergency rooms. A crowd had gathered, and they all turned toward the painful, heartbreaking sound.

A dark-haired, attractive woman in a blue coat tried to break up the gathering. A volunteer? She wore a name tag, so she must be connected to the hospital in some capacity.

Lorcan heard people whispering the name “De Luca” and pointing.

This juicy tidbit of gossip will be all over town by morning. Unreal.

“Enough! Move along, back to your rooms, and if you’re visitors, visiting hours have long ed. I will call security if you all don’t disperse.”

The woman spoke with confidence and authority, so though the people grumbled in protest, they did indeed move along. He and the lady locked gazes for a moment. He nodded to her, acknowledging her statement. She turned away and headed toward the emergency room.

When Lorcan reentered the waiting room, Nick was just ending his call with Veronica.

“What now?” Nick asked.

“I guess we’re on standby.”

“Not for long.” Nick motioned toward the hallway; a blond man entered the emergency room. “I’ll bet that’s Mike Leary, the soon-to-be-ex.”

The mixture of anger and distress on the man’s face certainly proved the point. Plus, he had the stiff-backed stride of a copper.

“Drop by the club before opening tomorrow morning, and we’ll have that conversation about Julie,” Nick said.

“Aye, I would like that, I need advice—” The door flung open, and Liam barreled out with Kieran on his heels.

Uncle Vinnie stepped into the waiting room. “Thank you both for being there for Liam. We will handle it from here.”

Uncle Vinnie departed.

So that was that.

Lorcan and Nick followed, and once they drove off, neither spoke, lost in their thoughts.

The fog that had hovered over Lorcan’s emotions began to lift. He had a lot to think about.

And decisions to make.

Chapter 22

The next day, Lorcan took his time driving toward the club. Flickering lights from the downtown Christmas decorations cast a faux, festive glaze over everything.

It was overcast; heavy gray clouds hung over everything, which matched Lorcan’s mood. There was not much sleep last night, a few hours of dozing interspersed with staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t stop thinking of his cousin’s horrible tragedy. He flicked off the radio and drove in silence.

Tragedy didn’t take a holiday. Lorcan knew and understood that.

He’d seen plenty in the army and beyond.

Witnessing a catastrophe like Liam’s could do one of two things to a person: punctuate the fact that to love someone is to lose them and suffer numbing heartbreak.

Liam would have to live with his grief, loss, and guilt for the rest of his days.

A person could see that and say, “I’ll never allow myself to love like that. Who wants to be hurt?” and avoid it at all costs.

On the other hand, such a personal catastrophe would encourage someone to grasp love and hold it close because life was too damned short to hesitate.

Lorcan had stood in the first category for years.

After this, he stood firmly in the grasp-love-and-hold-it-close faction.

Life was too damned short.

He’d tried to deny any deep feelings about anything or anyone, including Julie.

Avoiding love or emotion had been a stupid and futile exercise on his part. It was time he started facing the fact he’d been a blasted idiot for far too long.

Well, not so much an idiot, but a man with a grievous condition. The first doctor that diagnosed him had said PTSD is a mental injury, not a mental illness. The doctor also said that he had uncomplicated PTSD, one linked to a specific major traumatic event.

Therapy and or medication was the treatment. And he had been putting it off because he honestly believed he could handle it or it would go away on its own.

How arrogant.

Lorcan parked the car outside The Playpen. A few snow flurries tumbled from the sky above rested on his hair and clothes.

He entered the club and closed the door behind him, brushing the snow away from his shoulders.

Nick stood behind the bar, drying glasses with a towel. The club wasn’t opening until noon today, so they had the place to themselves.

“A drink, or is it too early?” Nick asked.

Lorcan sat at the bar. “Aye, too early. I’ll take an orange juice, mate.”

Nick had succinctly pigeon-holed him this past summer, and he had done the very thing Nick had called him on—pushing people away when they got too close.

No more.

“What’s the news?” Nick called out as he moved toward the bar fridge.

“Liam is at his father’s place. Kieran and Regan are there with him. Uncle Vinnie called me early this morning. As soon as the funeral is over—not that Liam will be formally invited—he’s taking Liam to the Caymans for three weeks. My contract is at an end. I can leave any time after that. He did ask a favor of me, of both of us, as Liam’s friends.”

Nick reached under the bar and placed two tall glasses on it. He grasped a bottle of orange juice and filled the glasses. Then he set a box on the counter. “Veronica sent over cinnamon rolls. Dig in. I guess we are Liam’s friends, aren’t we?”

“Aye, the only ones he has. Uncle Vinnie offered us a nice chunk of nicker. While they are in the Caymans, we’re to clear out the condo and put it up for sale. We’ll get a percentage. We are to sell everything. Uncle Vinnie doesn’t want anything around to remind Liam of Mags. I’m to go over there this afternoon and fetch his clothes and other personal items. Everything else? Gone.”

Lorcan opened the box and lifted out the roll. Damn, he loved these. Taking a huge bite, he washed it down with the orange juice.

“Sorry to be mercenary,” Nick said between bites, “But how much of a percentage? Is it off the sale price? Why so generous?”

“My De Luca relatives are all about the paying of debts. Either good or bad. Uncle Vinnie mentioned ten percent of the condo and everything inside. We could be splitting up to forty grand or more.”

Nick shook his head. “This isn’t right, profiting off Liam’s tragedy.”

“I agree, but this is how it is done. If we don’t do it, my uncle will offer it to someone else. I’d rather we did it, not just for the money, but as Liam’s friends. We would see it done proper. We will have to set aside Maggie Leary’s things as well.”

“I can’t deny that I could use the cash. I still owe you some from the insurance money.”

Lorcan scoffed. “You’ve been paying me off. There’s only fifteen hundred left that you owe. Forget it; consider the debt wiped clean. It’s a Christmas gift, and all the best for the holiday season to you and Veronica.”

Nick lifted his glass. “Many thanks, I accept. And a Merry Christmas to us all. And may Maggie Leary rest in peace.”

Lorcan touched his glass to Nick’s. “Aye. And may Liam find peace and all.”

They drank in silence for a few moments.

“ what Liam said when he showed us the ring?” Nick said. “‘Too much time wasted. I should’ve fought for her years ago. I let her slip away, and my life was never the same without her. I’ve got a second chance.’ He’s right. I bought an engagement ring myself. Picked it up this morning before I came

here.”

Nick took a sip of juice. “Have it in my pocket. Veronica and I talked about marriage in general as something down the road, but why wait? I love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life. I’ll propose New Year’s Eve, or maybe sooner.”

“Congratulations to you both. You deserve every happiness.” Lorcan smiled.

“Thanks. Much appreciated.” Nick set his glass on the table. “And what about you, Lorcan? Still planning on hightailing it back to Ireland?”

“That’s the plan, aye, to go home. Always was.” He looked into his drink. “You called it, Nick. ? This past summer. Not letting people get too close. Deflecting them with my Irish bullshite charm?”

Nick snorted. “Yeah, I .”

“And I did that very thing to Julie. I tried to keep her at arm’s length. Not with much success.”

“I tried to deny my feelings for Veronica, stubborn idiot that I am. She was the one who said that she loved me first. As soon as she told me of her feelings, man, everything clicked into place. The reasons for rejecting what emotions she stirred up in me seem so fucking stupid now. As I said before, we had unresolved teen angst emotions to work through. It sounds stupid, but at least

you don’t have a past with Julie. Focus on the present and the future.”

“Julie just told me that she loved me,” Lorcan replied.

“And what are you going to do with that information?” Nick downed the rest of his juice and poured more in the glass, refilling Lorcan’s for good measure.

“I could ignore it, pack my bags and leave. As I said, I’ve been trying to keep Julie at a distance, but she touched my heart anyway. She’s a fine lass. There’s no doubt I desire her. The sex is fantastic. No worries there.”

Nick cocked an eyebrow. “But?”

“I have these recurring nightmares from my time in the army. I won’t go into detail today, but it’s affecting my ability to function at times—to feel things, emotionally. And to make decisions, obviously.”

“PTSD?”

“Aye. I’ve been diagnosed with it, and I’ve been putting off seeing a doctor regularly, using excuses of my constant travel to delaying it. The time has come for me to face the fact that I do need help. I’m a muckshite mess.”

Nick slung the bar towel over his shoulder. “We’re all a mess at one time or another. Julie loves you. She will you. And if you love her, you’d let her.

Do you it that you need help? Great. Now show some guts and it that you love Julie. Quit fucking around and make a decision.” Nick drank the remaining juice and slammed the glass on the bar. “How’s that for bartender wisdom?”

“Shite or get off the pot?”

“Pretty much.”

“I do love her—with what is left of my heart and soul. I’ve been a daft beggar. I began to rationalize that I loved her enough to leave her in peace. Why subject her to uncertainty? That’s what I’ve been telling myself.”

Lorcan hesitated. Might as well lay it all out there.

“I started falling in love with her on the first dinner date. Outside the restaurant, I kissed her. Something powerful ed between us, and I chose to deny it. Fact is, I’m scared shiteless. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Nick nodded. “I hear you, but the time has come to choose. Choose wisely.”

Lorcan stood. “Aye, I will. And thanks, Nick. For everything.”

“Take the rest of the rolls, and let me know what you decide. Though I think I know already.”

Lorcan smiled as he picked up the box and waved as he exited the club. What amazed him? He spoke the words aloud.

He loved Julie. Very much indeed.

He loved her vulnerability, her humor, her ion, and her strength. A beautiful woman inside and out.

Choose wisely.

Aye, no worries there.

Chapter 23

December the twenty-eighth, and all was quiet in the bakery. Julie sat behind the counter, watching light snowflakes fall from the gray clouds above. It was not the best weather for a funeral, or maybe it was appropriate. Nick and Ronnie were attending the services for Liam De Luca’s girlfriend, Maggie Leary.

A car accident on Christmas night, no less. Way to taint the season for years to come.

She’d heard the gossip that Liam was a cold, dangerous gangster and a hard-ass to boot, but no one deserved such a tragedy.

But that description didn’t exactly jibe with Lorcan’s assessment of his cousin. In fact, Lorcan, Nick, and Liam had become friends these last months.

Ronnie claimed there was more to the tragic story and would tell her later. Ronnie had also thrust her hand under Julie’s nose to show off the diamond ring Nick had given her two days ago. They would be getting married in the spring.

Julie was happy for them but also felt a little melancholy. What good were the holidays unless you didn’t feel sorry for yourself at least once?

No messages from Lorcan waited for her when she arrived home last night. He hadn’t called her this morning either. He said to him when she returned, but Julie had hoped he would make the first move.

Well, that as they say—was that.

What did she expect?

That he would travel to her parents’ home, kick the door in, and profess his deep and abiding love? A small part of her had wished it would be the case. Then she hoped he would be waiting at her door with flowers in hand and claim her for his own.

That didn’t happen, either.

She really had to stop watching romance movies; they had warped her mind. Those three-hankie sob fests like the old classic An Affair to or the scene in Sleepless in Seattle where the ladies watched An Affair to pretty much summed up her unreal expectations.

Julie recalled her brief phone conversation with Ronnie the last night at her parents. She’d called to ask if Julie would cover her for the funeral, but the short conversation soon turned to Lorcan.

“I told him that I loved him, and he didn’t know what to do,” Julie had said. “He

believes that he doesn’t deserve or need love. For all his outward teasing and winking, inside is a man who has seen and done more than most do in two lifetimes. He’s damaged and vulnerable, and I love him all the more because of it.”

“How alike he and Nick are. No wonder they became friends. Both want to be loved but have no idea how to go about it. Give Lorcan time to process the information. I’ll bet you he comes around. Nick did, and in a big way.”

They ended the conversation, and though thankful for the words of , Julie wasn’t sure that Lorcan would “come around.”

Speaking of Ronnie, her Mustang pulled into the parking lot. She and Nick strode through the door, dressed in black. Nick looked smart with his long leather coat, white shirt and gray tie, and black dress slacks. Ronnie wore a black dress and coat, her hair swept up in a conservative style.

“How was it, or should I ask?” Julie questioned.

Nick shook his head. “You don’t want to know.”

“Where do we start, at the fistfight at the poor woman’s graveside? Liam De Luca and Mike Leary, police captain and estranged husband of the deceased, started pummeling each other as the priest gave the final blessing,” Ronnie related breathlessly.

“Don’t forget your brother,” Nick interjected.

“That’s right. Can you believe Tyler showed up?”

Julie frowned. “Isn’t he investigating the family gangster doings?”

“I thought so and figured that was why he attended, but Liam’s sister, Regan, stormed over to him and slapped his face. The vibe between them could’ve melted the snow. She left right after the prayers, and Tyler looked wounded and miserable. There is more happening there than Tyler is letting on.”

Nick nodded. “Big time.”

“Talk about drama.” Julie couldn’t believe it. The funeral had the makings of one of those old nighttime soaps her mother used to like. “Was Lorcan there?” It almost pained her to say his name.

“Yes, he stood with the family. Lorcan and Nick were the ones to break the news to Liam.” Ronnie exhaled. “I’m exhausted, and I never thought I would say this before noon, but I need a drink.”

“Why don’t you and Nick go for an early lunch and have a drink or three? I can hold down the fort,” Julie suggested.

Nick stood next to Ronnie, slipping his arm around her waist. “Sounds like a

plan. Let’s go, baby.”

“Julie, you’re a star. Thank you.”

They headed toward the door. “Just be sure and come back later to tell me the rest,” Julie called after them.

After the car drove out of the lot, she was alone once again. Lorcan didn’t come with them, not a good sign. So Lorcan had to break the tragic news to De Luca? Wonder what happened there? Seems she had missed a lot the two days she’d been away.

After dealing with a few customers, the bell jingled overhead. A young guy walked in with a box tucked under his arm. “Are you Julie Barnes?”

“Yes.”

He laid the rectangular box on the counter, ed her a clipboard to sign, and after she did, he departed. She untied the ribbon and lifted the lid.

Yellow roses.

She reached for the card and slid it out of the envelope.

“Yellow roses signify joy, delight—and the fact that I care. Welcome back, Julie. L.”

Julie lifted the bouquet to her nose and inhaled.

Beautiful gesture. Twelve perfect roses.

She ran back to her apartment, filled a vase with water, then arranged the flowers as a hot flush of pleasure covered her.

Lorcan sent flowers. A good start.

It didn’t take much to please her. She stood back and ired them when the bell over the door jingled once again.

Julie turned to see who it was.

Lorcan.

Still dressed in his funeral black. How wickedly handsome.

“Ah, you got the flowers, I see.”

“Yes, thank you. I love roses.”

“I’m glad you’re back. I’ve missed you,” Lorcan said softly.

“It was only a couple of days.”

“Well, it seemed longer.” He removed his wool coat and laid it carefully across a nearby empty display table.

“A lot happened in those two days,” Julie ventured.

“Aye, you could say that. More than you know.” He stood facing her, hands in the pockets of his black wool pants. Lorcan wore the dark outfit he had bought to drive his uncle around. She could see why women loved a man in a suit as he looked stunning.

“Uncle Vinnie plans to take Liam on a trip to the Cayman Islands for a few weeks to help him to recover from his grief. My services are no longer required. To their credit, my uncle paid out the of the contract, and I’m free to go.”

Go?

Julie’s stomach tumbled with dread. He came to say goodbye, and the flowers

were merely a thank you and a brush-off to boot. Her heart sank.

“It’ll take some doing to get the Mercedes S65 back to Dublin. There is always a container ship, I suppose,” His words sliced through her like a thousand cuts from a dull knife. He took two steps closer. “Then I realized—how can I leave my best friend?”

“You mean, Sully? Or Nick?”

Lorcan moved closer until they were only a few feet apart. He smiled. “No, lass. Not Sully or Nick. You. How can I leave my dearest friend in all the world? The woman I love? The woman I desire?”

He reached into the inside pocket of his coat and held out a rose. “Good, it’s not crushed. The florist told me a single red rose signifies ‘I love you.’ And I do, Julie, with every part of my battered soul. My heart doesn’t beat without you. I can’t live without you. I’ll love you until I die. And if there’s life on the other side, I’ll love you there, as well.”

His words were so poignantly spoken, tears clustered on her lashes. She took the rose with a trembling hand, sniffed it, then laid the rose on the nearby counter and threw herself in his arms.

Lorcan nuzzled her neck. “God, I love you. I’ve been such an arse. Forgive me, a stóirín. Do you still love me? Have I ruined it all?”

Julie cupped his face, looking up into his stunning eyes. They shone with such love and desire that she had to be dreaming all this. But she wasn’t. It was real.

Lorcan loved her.

She kind of guessed that he was falling in love with her as the months ed, but hearing the actual words, meant everything.

Julie caressed his cheeks with her thumbs. “No, my beautiful Irishman. You haven’t ruined a thing. I love you so very much.”

He kissed her fiercely, tasting every inch of her mouth. Then he stepped back. “Nick and Veronica are getting married in the spring.” He reached in his pocket.

“I know, isn’t it wonderful?”

“It’s grand, just grand. I think we should them.” He snapped open a small box: A ring with a large solitary diamond sat within the silk lining. “I need you in my life. I need you in my heart and in my bed. Share it all with me. I can’t go forward without you. Marry me. Love me.”

He slipped the ring on her finger, not waiting for a response. The tears spilled down her cheeks, as there was no holding them back.

“We will face whatever life throws at us. Together, darlin’.”

“Yes,” she replied, her voice wavering with emotion. ‘We will. Together, as one.”

The big romantic movie ending.

Hell, better than the movies.

She glanced down at her hand. The ring was a perfect fit, just as Lorcan was perfect for her.

Yes, he had demons, but, as he said, they would face them together.

“Yes. To everything. Forever.”

He laughed, spinning her around until her laughter ed his. He kissed her, then pulled back and gave her a serious look. “After all my adventures and travels, I’ve finally made it home.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “Home?”

“Julie, you’re the home I’ve been looking for all this time. The door to my black soul? Open wide to let in warmth, light, and love. You’ve done that.”

He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. “I’ll do whatever you wish. Stay here in Rockland City? Aye, no worries. We can always go to Ireland for visits. I can set up the security firm anywhere, and Rockland City is as good a place as any.” Julie squealed in delight and hugged him hard. “With you at my side, we can accomplish anything. l love you.”

“I love you, too. For always.”

The ring, the declaration of love, and his offering to stay in Rockland City? This just became the best Christmas—ever.

“Is all this my Christmas gift?” she teased, giving him a radiant smile.

“Aye, a stóirín. It is.”

“I have yours in the back.”

Lorcan kissed her. “Ah, love. You’re all the gift I need.”

“Would you mind if we stayed here, in RC? I agree to frequent visits to Ireland. I can’t wait to see where you’re from. Our friends are here; our life is, too.”

Lorcan played with a lock of her hair, then tenderly put it behind her ear. “I don’t

mind. Wherever you are, I will be also.”

Julie laughed. “Are we going to live here, at the bakery?”

“Aye, why not? I’m no longer an employee of the De Lucas, so I have to move out of the flat eventually.” Lorcan sobered. “I’m going to seek help with the PTSD. I’m a damaged wreck of a man, but with your , I can begin to heal.”

“And you will, I know it. I’ll be there, every step of the way.” Julie hugged him.

No, not everything was a perfect Hollywood-type ending, but it was close enough.

They would have challenges, but more importantly, they would have each other.

And Julie couldn’t wait to embark on this new and exciting journey.

Epilogue

Six months later, early June

Julie, Lorcan, Nick, and Veronica stood in front of a fifteen-hundred-square-foot bungalow. It was for sale in an older established subdivision on the west side of the city.

“What do you think?” Nick asked Lorcan after they had a walk through it.

“It’s solidly built. It needs a bit of a facelift, but I think the house is a good deal. What matters is what you and Veronica think.”

“Not exactly,” Veronica smiled, looping her arm through Lorcan’s. “The realtor told us the L-shaped bungalow across the way there is going up for sale next week.” Veronica pointed to a place not directly across the street but a few doors down.

Lorcan immediately liked the look of it. Light gray siding, stately oak trees along the front of the property.

“It’s a little older than this one, all the houses on that side of the street were built fifty years ago, but it has seen a lot of upgrades, new windows, and doors, new roof. Listen to me,” Veronica mused. “Maybe I should have gone into real estate instead of opening a bakery.”

Lorcan held out his hand, and Julie took it. “What do you think, love? Want to book a viewing?”

Julie gave him a warm smile and nodded. “Absolutely. Look at all of us, thinking of moving to the suburbs.”

“One plus to this place,” Nick interjected. “It’s not far from either the bar or the bakery. Or your investigative agency, Lorcan.”

A good neighborhood in an ideal location.

Lorcan and Julie married five weeks after Nick and Veronica, in April and May, respectively. Both were small civil ceremonies.

Their lives had changed but in a definite good way. Lorcan had never been happier, and he was sure the others would agree.

The sound of a motorcycle caught their attention. Liam De Luca had pulled into the driveway.

Talk about a life change.

Though still grieving, Liam shocked his family by walking away from the criminal side as soon as he returned from the Caymans. That step was ed by Nick and Lorcan, and Veronica and Julie showed their approval by bringing Liam into their circle.

Liam now owned and managed De Luca Sanitation. Legit all the way and completely separate from the doings of the rest of the De Lucas. Lorcan was relieved and glad for his cousin’s new turn in his life.

Climbing off his bike, he removed his helmet and strode over to them. “Really? Bungalows? What the hell?”

Julie laughed. “You’ll be next, Liam.”

Liam gave her a sad half-smile. “I doubt it but have it, guys. Mowing lawns, weeding? No damned way.”

They all laughed, but Lorcan soon sobered. “I got my eye on the old sugar refinery down by the docks. The location might make for good condos. The first one will be mine. If I go ahead with it.”

Their stories were not over.

Nick had his grand re-opening in January, and at first, it was a struggle to regain what customers he had. But things were picking up the past two months, and Lorcan hoped things continue to improve.

Thanks to the payment from Uncle Vinnie selling Liam’s condo and Veronica’s divorce settlement money, they would be able to afford a down payment if they chose to buy the house. Not flush with cash, but they were getting by enough. And they were blissfully happy. Talking about having kids.

As for him and Julie?

The blissfully happy part was a given. But they had hit a snag on the having kids front. They recently found out they may need assistance from medical science to have a baby due to Julie’s tilted cervix.

Julie was devastated, but as Lorcan told her, he had plenty of money if they decide to go down that route. If not, if they never have kids, they can find their happiness in each other. She agreed wholeheartedly.

For now, they were more than comfortable, financially and otherwise. Lorcan’s investigative agency was not a resounding success as yet, it took time to build clients and a reputation, but he had enough work to keep him busy.

Sully helped out now and then, but Lorcan could see that his heart wasn’t in it. His cousin still ran The Playpen and was there now.

As for his other cousin, Ronan McCarthy?

He was always in the back of Lorcan’s mind as he took Ronan’s threat seriously. Lorcan had connected with two ex-NSIS colleagues when he and Julie visited Ireland in March. The three of them were going to open an investigative agency in Dublin.

Lorcan would stay in Rockland City but travel there every couple of months to keep a hand in. Having an agency in Ireland also had the added benefit of keeping an eye on his cousin’s comings and goings. And for visiting family on a steady basis.

“Lorcan? Snap out of it,” Liam said, shaking his arm.

Lorcan was brought of his musings and smiled. “What?”

“Ronnie gave me the realtor’s card. Let’s make that appointment,” Julie said.

“Aye, darlin’. Let’s go for it.”

“Great, let’s stop by The Playpen and tell Sully. Grilled cheese sandwiches all around,” Liam said, clapping his hand on his back.

The best decision Lorcan ever made was to stay here in RC. He embraced life and love and friendships, and he was receiving help dealing with his PTSD. It

was slow going, but any progress was good progress.

He glanced at Liam.

Now, if only his cousin, and good friend, could find the peace and happiness he deserved.

* * *Further along is an excerpt from His Wicked Cold Heart (The Wicked Men of Rockland City #3) Liam’s story!

More Books by Karyn Gerrard

~Historical~

The Spinster and Mr. Glover (Book #1 Blind Cupid Series)

The Governess and the Beast (Book #2 Blind Cupid Series)

The Copper and the Madam (Book #3 Blind Cupid Series)

Protecting the Duke (The Rakes of St. Regent’s Park #1)

The Baron and the Mistress (The Rakes of St. Regent’s Park #2)

Bold Seduction (Book #1 Hornsby Brothers Series)

The Vicar’s Frozen Heart (Book #2 Hornsby Brothers Series)

Marquess of Secrets (Book #3 Hornsby Brothers Series)

Beloved Monster (Book #1 The Ravenswood Chronicles)

Beloved Beast (Book #2 The Ravenswood Chronicles)

Marriage with a Proper Stranger (Book #1 Men of Wollstonecraft Hall Series)

Scandal with a Sinful Scot (Book #2 Men of Wollstonecraft Hall Series)

Love with a Notorious Rake (Book #3 Men of Wollstonecraft Hall Series)

Knight of Christmas (The Rakes of St. Regent’s Park #3)

The Duke of Pain (The Rakes of St. Regent’s Park #4) Coming Soon!

~Contemporary~

My Highlander Cover Model (Heroes of Time Travel Anthology Series #1)

Timeless Heart (Heroes of Time Travel Anthology Series #2)

That Christmas Feeling (It’s Never too Late for Love Anthology Series #1)

Wild Pitch

He’s the Wicked Bad (Wicked Men of Rockland City #1)

His Wicked Celtic Kiss (Wicked Men of Rockland City #2)

His Wicked Cold Heart (Wicked Men of Rockland City #3) coming soon!

Author Biography

A multi-published author from Canada, Karyn Gerrard loves to write sensual historical and contemporary romances. Tortured heroes are an absolute must.

Karyn’s been happily married for a long time to her own hero. His encouragement and loving keep her moving forward.

To learn more about Karyn and her books, visit www.karyngerrard.com

Also visit her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and Bookbub.

“Looking for a swoon-worthy read? You can’t go wrong with the lovely and emotional romances from Karyn Gerrard.” ~Vanessa Kelly, USA Today Bestselling author

“Karyn Gerrard writes very enjoyable, richly textured historical romances.” ~Kate Pearce, New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author

Sneak Peek of His Wicked Cold Heart (Wicked Men of Rockland #3)

Prologue

Christmas night

If anyone had told Darcy Sheehan that she would be spending Christmas night consoling a sobbing gangster overcome with grief, she would’ve laughed outright at such an improbable scenario.

But it happened. And Darcy never forgot it. Or him.

At the start of the school year, she relocated to Rockland City, Maryland. Since then, her social calendar wasn’t exactly full, especially during the Christmas break. One thing Darcy excelled at besides being a teacher? Volunteering. Something she had learned in her hometown of Bangor, Maine. With Rockland three times the size of Bangor, she surmised that there would be several options to choose from.

Why not volunteer at Rockland City General Hospital? In retrospect, she believed that Christmas night would be quiet and uneventful.

It turned out not to be the case.

By early evening, a female car crash victim had arrived in the emergency department—and all hell broke loose. A small crowd made up of patients and

visitors hovered in the emergency room area, and Darcy heard whispers of a name mentioned over and over: De Luca. She made a quick visit to the nurses’ station to discover why the place buzzed with excitement.

The injured party was the girlfriend of a local mobster, Liam De Luca, the oldest son to Vinnie De Luca, head of the De Luca crime family. But not just any girlfriend, one nurse had explained breathlessly, but the love of this Liam’s life, a childhood sweetheart who had chosen another man to marry. Guess what man she ultimately chose?

Darcy kept her face neutral but inwardly was caught up in the story. The nurse continued with her tale. The man Maggie had chosen was none other than Captain Mike Leary of the Major Crime Unit and former best friend of Liam. The small Rockland City police crime unit was presently investigating the De Lucas. The captain’s estranged wife, Maggie, moved in with Liam some months before.

Darcy arched an eyebrow in disbelief at the story, which held all the makings of a convoluted reality show.

Mobsters? Really?

About to ask a question or two about the story, Darcy’s attention moved toward the front emergency room doors instead. Three black SUVs pulled up, tires squealing. A el of large and formidable-looking men strode into the area. Their intimidating presence immediately hushed the tiny crowd. Darcy surmised the older man with the salt and pepper hair must be Vinnie, “The Godfather.”

Which one was this poor Liam guy?

A brute of a man stepped forward. “Has Liam De Luca arrived yet?”

“I can escort you to the waiting room, and I’ll let you know when he arrives,” she offered politely.

All part and parcel of her volunteer duties.

The man nodded. Darcy showed them to the small room, and two of them stepped in while the man who had spoken to her stood outside as if he was a guard at Buckingham Palace.

Fifteen minutes later, Darcy accompanied the nurse and doctor to the waiting room to inform the trio that Margaret “Maggie” Leary had died from massive internal injuries. The doctor and nurse wanted Darcy along in case they needed her assistance. Fetching coffee, she gathered. Or offering sympathy. She certainly didn’t expect this turn of events on Christmas night.

“The crash team tried their best,” the doctor explained in a somber voice, “but Mrs. Leary couldn’t be stabilized to make it to surgery.”

“Hell,” the younger man muttered.

“Captain Leary is en route. Perhaps you all should depart as there is nothing else

you can do,” the doctor suggested gently.

“No. We’re waiting here for Liam. He’ll be here any minute. I’m not leaving my brother alone to face this. They were living together. A couple.” The man stated emphatically.

“I regret to report that Margaret Leary was pregnant,” the doctor said quietly.

You could’ve heard a pin drop in the room. Why was the doctor telling these guys? Shouldn’t only the victim’s soon-to-be ex-husband be told this personal information?

Darcy couldn’t help but be riveted by all this distressing drama, and because of it, it remained difficult to keep her emotions from showing. This was a tragic turn of events, on Christmas night, no less.

“How far along was she?” Vinnie De Luca asked, his voice soft.

“No more than two months.”

“Liam’s,” the brother whispered in shock.

Vinnie De Luca placed a hand on the doctor’s shoulder and said, “William, keep this information between yourself and your staff. I’d appreciate it. I’ll tell my son when the time is right.”

The doctor knew the family?

Or, more importantly, the family knew the doctor?

Of course, judging by mobster movies, these gangster types had their fingers in numerous pies, making connections in all walks of life.

“Absolutely, Mr. De Luca,” The doctor replied. “I will leave it with you.”

Darcy met Vinnie’s gaze. The man possessed the most incredible silver-gray eyes, though his stare was a bit scary. “And you. The information doesn’t leave this room.”

Right. De Luca was talking to her. What had she got involved with here?

Keep calm.

“Yes. Absolutely. Will not leave this room. I’ll wait at the entrance for your son,” she offered, trying to keep her voice steady.

He gave her a brisk, dismissive nod. Darcy hurried from the room, but she no sooner entered the main emergency area when she noticed three men standing at the reception desk. All were tall; one had black hair and a goatee, the other two

with brown hair. Before she could approach them, they disappeared into the hallway.

Guess she wasn’t needed any longer.

Darcy turned her attention to the crowd. “Move along, back to your rooms, and if you’re visitors, visiting hours have long ed. I will call security if you all don’t disperse.” She used her best stern schoolteacher voice, and it worked. The people drifted away.

One of the brown-haired men was watching her. He inclined his head as if acknowledging her statement before disappearing around the corner.

Thinking back, Darcy could not say what drew her to the emergency room. Perhaps the tragedy of it all, which spoke to her innate empathic nature? And her desire to assist in whatever way she could? Everyone seemed cowed and afraid of the men. No doubt with good reason.

But Darcy didn’t grow up in this city, so they didn’t intimidate her.

Well, much.

The two brown-haired men sat in the ading waiting room, so Darcy pushed the emergency room door open and glanced in. The room resembled a battlefield. Machines and tubes lay everywhere, with bloody cloths piled on the floor and in nearby basins.

Standing to the rear were Boss Vinnie and the brother. Her gaze shifted to the front of the room. Lying on the gurney was an attractive woman covered up to the neck with a sheet. There were a few superficial injuries to her face, probably from a smashed windshield, but nothing to mar her extraordinary beauty.

Standing by her side, a man who could only be Liam De Luca. He had his back to her so she couldn’t see his face, but his massive shoulders were slumped in sorrow. Nodding in acknowledgment at the two men, she silently made her way toward the grieving man. Tentatively, she touched his arm, the leather from his coat creaking in response.

“Mr. De Luca?”

Slowly, he turned to face her, and Darcy’s breath caught in her throat. Not for the fact he was handsome, because—he was. But the inconsolable misery that she observed made her react more than his breathtaking looks. Tears poured down his cheeks, and his eyes were the exact shade of his father’s. Beautiful as they were, they swam in desolation.

Darcy’s heart clenched in sympathy.

“I’m very sorry for your loss,” she whispered.

Liam De Luca collapsed and let out a sound that resembled the cry of a wounded animal. The father and brother, exchanging looks of indecision, remained frozen to the spot as if not knowing how to react.

Without thinking, Darcy sank to her knees and embraced the grieving man. Surprisingly, he didn’t push her away but instead held her close, his face buried in her neck. Darcy couldn’t stop her eyes from growing moist. As she rubbed his back, she whispered in Liam De Luca’s ear, but what Darcy had said, she couldn’t .

Despite the tragic circumstances, she found herself touched by this man’s inconsolable grief.

Holding him felt—right somehow.

The door burst open, and a man shoved his way past Vinnie and the brother.

“Get out of this room. All of you!” the man roared.

Liam froze at the sound of the angry voice, then pushed away from her and stood. Darcy scrambled to her feet. This must be the police captain husband. Blond and blue-eyed, his face was thunderous. The tension in the room shot up to dangerous levels. Should she call security? It might be a good idea.

Darcy backed up several steps.

Standing next to Captain Leary gave her a clear view of Liam De Luca and the intense stare that he gave the man. His silver-gray eyes grew frosty, resembling the shade of chips of ice. Gone were all vestiges of the vulnerable, grief-stricken

man she had held in her arms.

God, they weren’t going to fight? Darcy whipped out her phone, ready to call hospital security. Luckily, she had stored the number in her s.

It was dicey, the atmosphere heightened, but Liam turned and left, his father and brother close behind. Darcy departed as well to give Mr. Leary time alone with his wife.

Her heart was beating a mile a minute.

That was tense. Too tense.

Once she stepped into the emergency area, she caught a glimpse of the SUVs and another car peeling out of the parking lot.

Although Darcy didn’t know Liam De Luca at all, she had the distinct feeling no one would ever see that vulnerable man again.

Chapter 1

Twenty-one months later

As Liam De Luca cruised along the highway on his Indian Roaster motorcycle, he realized that he was not looking forward to seeing his father.

Vinnie De Luca had been cooling his heels in the city lockup for four months and had recently been transferred to Rockland County Detention to await trial on money laundering. He hadn’t seen his father since before the arrest.

The engine rumbled in response to a turn of the accelerator, and the bike shot forward, the wind buffeting the high Plexiglas shield. Never a motorcycle enthusiast, Liam had been drawn in by his friend, Nick Crocetti. The two of them often went riding when business and family obligations didn’t take up their time. Nick especially, now he and his wife Veronica had a baby boy, Dean, to contend with.

The past several months had brought many changes. Being accepted into a tight circle of friends, including Nick, Liam’s Irish cousin, Lorcan Byrne, and Lorcan’s cousin from his father’s side of the family, Sullivan, known as Sully, McDermott, had been a lifeline. Liam did not know how he would have survived these past months without their friendship and .

Riding on the open highway with the wind swirling all around gave Liam a

modicum of peace, something that had been hard to achieve.

Besides making new friends, Liam sold his Lexus and bought the bike along with a second-hand Ford F-250 truck. He shed the luxury car along with his previous life, much to his father’s annoyance, and the main reason he didn’t want to see him today.

But Kieran and Regan, his younger brother and sister, nagged him incessantly until he had agreed to visit the old man.

Fine. Get it over with.

After parking the bike and going through all the electronic scans, pat-downs, and paperwork, he sat in a small, windowless room. Guess his father warranted some privacy.

The door opened, and Vinnie was escorted in. Not in cuffs, but wearing the prerequisite orange jumpsuit, he sat opposite Liam while the corrections officer stood back with arms crossed, obviously staying to supervise.

“Decided to finally visit me?” his father said.

“Yeah.” Liam tapped his fingers on the desk, already anxious to be gone.

“Shaved off the goatee.”

“Yeah.”

Vinnie smiled and shook his head. “Don’t ever change, Liam. Listen, my lawyer tells me I’ll probably beat these trumped-up charges, but it’s going to take a while. The prosecution is using every stalling tactic in the book. I need you to take control of the family business.”

Liam crossed his arms. “Already did. De Luca Sanitation is doing fine.”

Vinnie’s smile faded. “You know damned well that’s not what I’m talking about. Any brainless ass can run our legit companies. I want you at the helm of what matters. The real family business.”

This is the exact reason Liam had delayed the visit. He knew his father would go down this path. So predictable.

“I’m out and have been for close to two years. Kieran is handling it. Let him be the heir apparent. I’m done.”

Vinnie frowned. “I love Kieran. But he’s not—you. I’d feel more at ease and confident if you were at the tiller.”

“I’m out, and I’m staying out,” Liam replied firmly.

Anger crossed Vinnie’s face, hardening his features. “You haven’t been the same since the death of that cop’s hand-me-down, Maggie Evans-Leary. Time to move on, Son. She’s gone. Stop drowning in self-pity. Quit brooding. You’re too damned morose. But then, you always were.”

A red fury boiled Liam’s blood, and he was sorely tempted to vault across the table and shake his father senselessly. Maybe even smack him one.

Easy. Temper.

His father had been ive right after Mags died, even taking him to the Cayman Islands for three weeks so Liam could try and get his bearings. They’d been at loggerheads since Liam had stated he no longer wanted to be his father’s right-hand man in the family crime business.

“Don’t talk trash about Mags, or I’ll walk out, and you’ll never see me again,” Liam growled, his voice cold and deadly.

Vinnie exhaled. “I apologize. I know that you loved her.”

“She was my whole life.” And had been since Liam was twelve, and now at thirty-seven, her presence still lingered. “Don’t mention her again. Ever.”

“All right. I understand. More than you know. But I need you, Liam. You owe it to the family to step up and take charge until I get out of here.”

Liam had enough.

“Pop, you’re wasting your breath.” He stood. “I’ll come to see you again before your trial. Until then, stay safe.”

Liam strode toward the door. Staying safe was a given since Vinnie no doubt paid for protection.

“You say you’re out?” Vinnie called after him. “In this life, you’re never out. that!”

As Liam slammed the door and headed to the registration desk to recover his jacket and possessions, his heart chilled at his father’s statement—for it held a grain of truth. In reality, Liam was no innocent. He had a past. He did things and ordered others to do things.

Outside the law.

Not anymore. Never again.

Ever.