Crab Mentality 342h2y

We are better than crabs, Stop crab mentality! The term crab mentality refers to the behavior of crabs in the bucket or pot who try to seek freedom. The crabs could easily escape one after another but they pull down each other and prevent anyone from escaping and in the process collectively suffer suffocation and death. The metaphor when applied to a human situation refers to the mentality of an individual or group that endeavors to pull down literally, any person who reaches for the heights of success. Less successful individuals with a selfish and constricted thinking consciously attempt to pull down those who are on an upward scale. The crab mentality approach basically subscribes to the idea “I can't have it so I’ll not allow you to get it.” Crab mentality is something that can be found in all segments of the society. Even charitable and religious institutions fall prey to the malady of crab mentality which can wreck its reputation in society. Filipinos call it crab mentality. A lot of Filipino just don’t like it when someone has a better life specially if they live next to their house that they can see them often. In our day to day lifein the Philippines We have encountered many Filipino who are like a black hole trying to pull everyone they can into a dark place that represent; sadness, depression and drama but even with that I am still not so use to it and I am not like a black hole. When someone starts talking and pulling everyone down by making a bad picture of anyone they hate (just because of the fact that they are so jealous of the way they live or the way they are) I talk back and my words tell them that I am not into their game – and it is like I push them out of my life. “crab mentality” has become a norm in our society to a point that we hardly even see it as a bad thing anymore and those who are against it are considered not sociable and unfriendly.People having a crab mentality are all the time trying to bring their opponent down. These are the people who cannot do much to improve their own status or achievement. Instead they try to thwart the attempts of those who aspire to move up the ladder of success. Based on my research, Philippines is a 3rd world country so more than half of its population is not well educated so as expected much of its populace is not well educated enough to live in harmony with other people in a less destructive way. As We see it – it takes a good education and some mental level for one to know how to realistically analyze and criticize the culture and traditions one has experience and live with for the rest of his life. There's this quote saying, "Pulling someone down will never help you reach the top." So stop crab mentality, just be happy for what they are now and focus on yourself so that you can be successful like them, do not compete with others instead help one another to reach the top. Crab mentality is a widely used term in the Philippines given to Filipinos who always try to pull down other Filipinos who are succeeding in life and getting ahead of them. This trait is not unusual to us, as it’s actually one of the common bad habits of many Filipinos. People with crab mentality are everywhere. You can encounter them on social media, where they are always busy criticizing instead of appreciating the news and stories about the achievements of Filipinos. This attribute is also one of the major causes why our country is not progressing. It doesn’t promote unity, humility and responsibility. I believe we have to get rid of it for our personal and national development. And the first step to eradicate this negative trait from us is to be aware of it. We can all be guilty of crab mentality, and here are 10 signs that someone is having this unfavorable quality. 1. They are too proud of themselves and treat others as inferior beings. You can sense a breeze of arrogance from people with crab mentality. They feel like they have royal blood flowing in their

veins, and they treat other Filipinos as peasants. When they earn some achievements of their own, whether big or small, they brag it to everyone to position themselves higher from the rest of the Filipinos. And that is why they will always look down on you, especially if you’re a Filipino who came from the province or a “probinsyano/probinsyana”. They can be racist to their own race – the Filipinos. Oh, I mean they can be racist to other regional races of the Philippines. 2. They panic when their comrades are happy and improving. Aside from arrogance, you can also smell envy, jealousy and bitterness from this kind of people. They freak out when the people they look down are rising or progressing beyond them. It gives them a terrible feeling of insecurity. That’s why they will try to pull them down, either by harsh words or by unkind actions. You will see them giving bitter comments on Facebook, Twitter and other social media channels. They can be irritating, as they may spoil your own little achievement or happiness. So watch out! 3. Their motto in life is “if I can’t have it, neither can you”. They rather wish everyone will fail than let themselves fail while others are succeeding. They represent the “crabs in the bucket” metaphor, where the crabs can easily escape from the bucket, but instead, they grab and pull down each other in a selfish competitive manner which prevents any of them to escape, resulting to their collective demise. In other words, people who have a crab mentality are selfish and they don’t have any sense of sacrifice. They are actually the opposite of Filipinos who are known to love “bayanihan” or communal work. 4. They are full of positivity for themselves but full of negativity for others. They only see the good things in themselves, but they’re blind when it comes to their negative characteristics. When it comes to how they view other people, it becomes the opposite. They only see the bad things of other people while they’re blind to their positive deeds. That is why instead of appreciation, what you will get from them are nothing but negative criticisms. Some of these criticisms are valid while others are just invented to mess up your achievements. 5. They blame their comrades for their failures rather than help them. What is more disgusting about Filipinos who have a crab mentality is that they will pull you down further when you’re already down. When Super Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan) turned the lives of many Filipinos in the Eastern Visayas into the darkest part, the “crabs” were nothing but blamers instead of becoming the helpers. Rather than giving us a hand, these “crabs” broke our already broken souls and hearts. And the saddest part of this, these “crabs” include some public officials who are supposed to give us first-hand public service. 6. They treat their comrades as competitors. It seems like the words unity and cooperation are not in their vocabulary. They always treat other Filipinos as competitors instead of teammates. You can find this kind of people everywhere. In a basketball team, in your office, and even in a cooperative organization, they could be there. Again, envy, jealousy and selfishness cause them to refrain from cooperating. Instead of giving victory to the whole company or team, they just want to grab all the success for themselves. And just like what we discussed in #3, they rather let the team lose, than let it win without making themselves as the star player. 7. They don’t know a thing about comion. Comion is a great virtue that enables us to understand the feelings of other people. It lets us walk in other people’s shoes and appreciate the lives they are living. But people with crab mentality lack comion. They are inconsiderate and ignorant of the many people they are offending. They don’t care about the many hearts they are breaking. Well, what can we expect? They only care for themselves. 8. Yet they act like they know everything. You can’t argue with them because they act like they are the most knowledgeable people in the world. They are active critics but they don’t accept criticisms thrown to them by other people. They don’t need your advice. They don’t want to hear your opinions. Just try to correct them if your dare. 9. They spend most of their time talking about people rather than discussing ideas and solutions. Again, it’s because they treat people as their competitors. Instead of thinking about the brilliant ideas and solutions that can make the Philippines a better country, they spend most of their time ensuring that no other Filipinos can become better than them. When our nation faces a crisis, they will be more active in talking about how people become worthy of suffering rather than discussing the solutions that will help people end their sufferings.

10. They will never it that they have a crab mentality. And that’s the mystery of it, they will never it that they have that kind of mentality. This article is only supposed to be informational rather than judgmental. Even I, when I was still childish, I it I have some of the signs of having a crab mentality. I was jealous, envious, bitter and a bit selfish. But if we stay in this mentality, we will not grow as a person. And definitely, we will not grow as a nation. Therefore, while it’s still early, we have to be aware of this negative attitude or habit. Then we should get rid of it, not only for ourselves, but also for the whole nation and the next generation. The Crab Mentality: Why Can’t We Be Happy for Other People’s Success? When you put a bunch of live crabs in a bucket, you can witness quite an interesting phenomenon. Some of these crabs can easily escape – but as they attempt to climb out of the bucket, other crabs pull them back down. At first glance, this can seem like cruel and senseless behaviour: rather than let any crab survive or work together to escape, the crabs opt for a collective demise. However, crabs may act in this way just because they’re pulling on anything they can pull on when they’re out of water, including other crabs. There may not be any selfish motivations involved. Nonetheless, the way in which crabs behave in a bucket has become an analogy for the self-centred and jealous mindset of many people. This is known as the ‘crab mentality’. What is the Crab Mentality? On the United Kingdom subreddit, a question was posed: “Least favourite thing about living in the UK?” And one replied with, “crab bucket mentality”. Crabs in a bucket is a metaphor for how people in a group will try to pull down those individuals down who are progressing beyond the group or improving themselves in some way. We do this through downplaying, criticism, discouragement, harsh words, and unkind actions. The crab back mentality is encapsulated by the phrase, “If I can’t have it, neither can you.” We are playing a curious game of ‘king of the hill’, where we think, speak, and act in ways that try to stop others from being able to look down at us all high and mighty. The crab mentality is the place where people hate being there but are struggling to get out of that place due to a variety of factors: personal circumstances, denial of the situation, excuse-making, fear, anxiety, a lack of discipline, a lack of motivation, energy or hope, and a general proclivity towards negative habits of thoughts and behaviours. Instead of speaking honestly about one’s own issues, people bring others down who are making progress. As a case in point, let’s say you’re wholeheartedly set on pursuing a path in academia, yet you know that you can’t really afford the cost of a masters degree. So you also apply for a masters scholarship program. Unfortunately, you don’t get accepted. Then you hear the news that someone got into a top university and you know full well they won’t have to worry about financing their studies because they come from a wealthy family who will them. It becomes difficult to sincerely appreciate the person’s achievement or the elation they must be feeling. Instead, there are just bitter thoughts and resentful feelings. I’m as guilty of this kind of mentality as much as anyone else (perhaps this has something to do with an aspect of British culture, as that answer on Reddit suggests). Reflecting on how I react to other people’s success, I hate to it it, but I don’t always feel happy for them. In fact (and this makes me feel even more ashamed), part of me hoped they would fail (or will fail later on) so that at least there is the comfort – obviously immature and misplaced in nature – of a shared experience of falling behind or stagnation. Too often, words of congratulations and delight don’t seem to match how I actually feel inside. This is a common experience, though, where social etiquette represses the crab mentality. However, it’s easy to see this mentality expressed behind closed doors, in social situations where judging and gossiping take the forefront.

There have been times when someone else received praise for a personal achievement, entered a new relationship, got a new job or had a unique or profound experience, and I don’t immediately respond with genuine and well-meaning gladness. Sometimes, my knee-jerk reaction is bitterness. Worst of all, I have reacted in this way to the joy and success of friends, which obviously makes me feel like a horrible person. How could a friend have such an unfriendly attitude? This crab mentality doesn’t manifest as much as it used to – and I’m trying to indulge it less – but it definitely still rears its ugly head when I feel particularly down and stuck. Why Does the Crab Mentality Exist? Why do many of us instinctively wish for the downfall of others, including our closest friends? Does the crab mentality reflect the intrinsic selfishness of human nature or is it an unpleasant mindset that is engendered by the kind of culture we find ourselves in? Whatever the answer, the crab mentality is certainly borne from a variety of sources, including jealousy, shame, spite, insecurity, low self-esteem, self-criticism, and competitive feelings. There is nothing healthy behind this way of relating to others. A communal dismal downfall benefits no one. Downplaying or criticising another person’s success or happiness doesn’t really lift you up, despite it ing the illusion of it doing so. The crab mentality just feeds into your existing paradigm of unworthiness and insecurity. Even if this mentality actually did produce more positive feelings for the person doing the pulling down, it’s not really a viable strategy for long-term well-being. There is always going to be someone who is wealthier, smarter, wiser, and luckier than you. If you constantly engage in comparisons and let other people’s success diminish you, then a stable sense of self-worth will be hard to establish. The crab mentality thrives on the assumption that if someone else becomes successful or happy, this should somehow suck the joy out of your life. Our peers become competitors rather than people to unite and collaborate with. A broader and more empathetic perspective, one that removes the costume of the ego for a while, sees that any increase of progress and joy in the world is positive. It means there is a conscious entity, just like you, having the kind of experience you want to have. So in a very real sense, you are having it. When you give up the separateness that comes from being a crab in an unpleasant situation, you can genuinely celebrate others’ progress. It’s all a matter of perspective. You can paint somebody’s success in a negative light by pointing to some fault or flaw in their achievement. You might say they don’t deserve it, complain that it’s unfair, play the victim, and judge this person for all the advantages they’ve enjoyed in life. On the other hand, if you can really empathise with their success and happiness, without judgement, then you will be able to feel an energising sliver of the joy that they feel. You will also be more likely to view this person as a source of inspiration, motivation, and hope, and then make progress yourself. The Crab Mentality It is said that if you keep a solitary crab in a bucket without putting the lid on it will have no trouble escaping. But if you have a bucket full of crabs, whenever one gets to the top and is about to escape, the rest of the crabs will reach out and pull him back down to the bottom with the rest of them. It sounds like a lot of workplaces to me. Someone comes up with a great idea, an innovative solution or wants to leave for greener pastures, others come in and “bring them back to earth.” Often with a thud! I’ve also seen a lot of managers subtly sabotage the aspirations of their people because they think that they can’t replace them, so they find ways to keep them where they are through false promises, poor references or terrible advice.

Don’t let that be you. Don’t be a naysayer. When you see someone aspiring to live their dreams, instead of finding ways to bring them back to the pack, encourage them in their endeavours and allow yourself to be inspired by them. Instead of pulling them back into the bucket, give them a helping hand to get out. And when you look around, make sure that you’re not surrounded by crabs. Find people who will assist and guide you to be the best version of yourself. Find people who have escaped the bucket and are living the life that you want. You may have been impacted by the crab mentality in the past, but that doesn’t need to continue. Break free and help others to do the same, because we weren’t meant to live in a bucket. How to Fight Crab Mentality Lately, I noticed some of my peers being victims of, and perpetrators of, crab mentality. As a quick refresh, online encyclopedias define crab mentality as a metaphor operating in this way of thinking: if I can’t have it, neither can you. It is derived from the behavior of cra bs, which, when placed in a bucket, will grab at each other in a useless “king of the hill” competition driven by the desire to prevent every one to escape. In this case, everyone is doomed to their own demise. Wikipedia notes that it is also “the analogy in human behavior is that of the group will attempt to ‘pull down’ (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond others, out of envy, conspiracy or competitive feelings”. In today’s age of social media, overcompetition and higher expectations, it’s not surprising how crab mentality can easily crawl in our systems. In fact, in our heads, we can be guilty of this sometimes. On the other hand, we can also agree that this is really bad for all of us so we must actively find ways to fight it. Whether you it it or not, it’s a huge career and personal relationship poison. The good news is that you can have the antidote to this poison and you can use it on both ends. You can avoid being a victim, and a perpetrator. Here ar e a few suggestions to fight crab mentality: *Accept that in your field, there will always be people who are worse and better than you. Whatever you do, no matter how long you’ve stayed in your industry, there will always be someone who’s more experienced, the one who’s been in more places, the one who has the bigger projects. Chill. Accept this and accept that it’s not the end. You can still do better. To do so, use this as an inspiration and a positive challenge. Also think of those who are just starting in your field and rekindle nostalgic charms instead of trying to put them down. *If you have a friend who failed at a job or a responsibility, give sincere advice instead of backbiting them. Pepper this with a gentle voice, a few compliments, and a lot of understanding. If you aren’t the client anyway, the only obvious driving force you have when you talk crap behind their back is crab mentality. If you truly care, encourage them to be better at what they do and motivate them. Their success is your happines s too. Isn’t that what friendship should be about? It’s sad that even “friends” suffer from crab mentality too. Yet again, : you can change that. *Surround yourself with positive influence. It’s surprising how, at times, you can be overly cautious about people’s intentions that you are always on your feet. When somebody tries to do something good to you, you might find yourself doubting if they have ulterior motives or they’re just plain nice. What you can do is surround yourself with positive people and spend more time with them. This way, you’ll find yourself becoming more inspired, complaining less, and this way you’ll be less likely to be a victim AND a perpetrator of crab mentality. It’s a sure win! We know it’s a pretty tough ride. I don’t know how crab mentality became a very Filipino attitude. In fact, when I searched “crab mentality” on the internet, I found links describing Filipinos, Tagalog quotes, et cetera. It’s sad, but we can change this. Hit me more ideas at the comment box. :-*

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BUCKET The irrational act of pulling down someone perceived to be successful is a universal syndrome. This human behavior is often ascribed to human nature and called jealousy or envy. I heard the analogy of crabs in a bucket in many conversations among Filipinos. They use the term “crab mentality” to describe the behavior of fellow Filipinos who tear down other people’s achievement. I used to think that “crab mentality” was a native Filipino metaphor so I was surprised when I heard an American rapper using the “crabs in a bucket” allegory. In my search of the etiology of “crab mentality,” I found that it comes in different guises: ” crabs in a bucket,” “crabs in a basket,” or “crabs in a barrel.” The crabs are constant but the receptacle could differ, and it is always a container that implies confinement. The idiomatic expression came from the observable fact that when a crab is placed in a vessel by itself, it has no problem escaping from it within minutes. To the contrary, when two or more crabs are placed in the same container, other crabs will try to pull down ones that are trying to get out, making it nearly impossible for even one crab to escape from captivity. Wikipedia explains the “crabs in a bucket mentality” with the phrase, “ if I can’t have it, neither can you.” Instead of being happy about someone’s success, crabs get crabby. It is a negative trait where bitterness or resentment overwhelms good judgment. Some people will stop at nothing to keep someone from achieving his dream. In a larger context, the Philippines could be seen as a container and its people as the crabs. The crab mentality is debilitating. Progress is impeded. Reforms are met with resistance. Saviors are crucified. Intelligence is silenced. Change agents are ridiculed. Negativity reigns. Self-serving behaviors abound. Everybody knows that crabs in a container are bound to meet their doom in a boiling pot of water. If the prevalence and persistence of crab mentality in the Philippines is not mitigated, Filipinos are bound to meet their miserable fate sooner than later. Some may say that they are already in a simmering pot. So, what do we do with a problem like crab mentality? Awareness is needed. Filipinos need to be aware that the Philippines as a nation has not reached its potential and we, individually and collectively, are part of the problem. The dream of a prosperous country can only happen if individuals do something positive towards achieving the goal or band together with like-minded people to make a difference. We can be part of the solution instead of confounding the problem. To get out of the bucket, think outside the bucket. As in the crabs in the bucket analogy, instead of pulling down those who are trying to change the status quo, assist them. Push them over the edge to their freedom and dreams. Talk less. Listen more. the call for progressive reforms. honest and decent public officials. Refuse to pay bribes. Do not ask for favors. Report wrongdoings. Praise those who deserve it. If you can afford it, send a deserving youth to college. Pay it forward. Practice random acts of kindness. Refrain from gossips and destructive criticisms. Be resourceful and self-reliant. Be proactive. Be a problem solver. Be a role model. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.” Finally, cheer for the ones who made it. Chances are, one may come back with ladders and ropes to get others out of the bucket or even from the pot. WHOEVER IS TRYING TO BRING YOU DOWN IS ALREADY BELOW YOU. Imagine a pot of live crabs being cooked in boiling water. Fighting for survival, all of them would surely try to escape. One crab could no doubt climb its way out of the pot. But this is not easy,

because the other crabs beneath him would not let him escape. They will pull him down, thinking “If I can’t escape here, then you cannot too.” A few minutes later, all of them will be dead. Such is the curse of the crab mentality. The Filipino crab Recently, an extensive marine biodiversity research discovered 1,200 new species of crabs and shrimps in Bohol. Philippine crab varieties are unquestionably one of the most sought-after seafood by both Filipinos and foreigners. You only have to look at the stocks of crustaceans in the wet markets. The choices vary from the land crab, the mud king crab, lobsters, the deep-sea crab, among others. The most succulent are found in Zamboanga such as the fabled curacha, the Chavacano name for the crayfish that can only be found in the waters around the Sulu Sea. The irony of it all, the kind of Philippine crustacean that is the most well-known worldwide is the two-legged variety that lives on land – Filipinos with a crab mentality. And believe me there are so many of them crawling around. A Filipino once related to me how he was victimized by a Filipino crab. To protect his identity, let’s just call him Arnold Isla. Arnold and his family moved to Los Angeles in the early ’70s with just the clothes on their backs. Armed with a college degree, he started off as a waiter while doing odd jobs on the side because of his immigration status then. He was a hardworking man who was always helping other Filipinos because of his pusong mamon or soft spot for Filipinos. After some time, his hard work paid off and he was able to put up a restaurant which ironically served delicious crabs that eventually became popular and patronized by many Filipinos. With his success, Arnold hired Filipinos and helped new Filipino immigrants get their first break. He even helped a new Filipino immigrant with five children set up a laundry business. But for the life of him, Arnold could never understand why this Filipino started bouthing him and spreading lies about the food quality of his restaurant. All this "crab talk" devastated him. Out of extreme disappointment, he sold his restaurant and left the Los Angeles area. He moved to a mid-western state where very few Filipinos lived. He became a very successful restaurateur after setting up a profitable chain of restaurants. Ever since he stayed away from Filipinos, life has never been better for him. He left the Philippines in 1971 and returned for the first time last year. Much to his disappointment, he saw the same crab mentality still prevalent among Filipinos. Some things never change and he believes this is the reason why the country just can’t seem to move forward. What is good for the country should be good for everyone. But today, most people persist in the kind of thinking that what is good for me is what is good for the country. Arnold related how Filipinos in the US continue to be divided instead of bonding together to become a major political and economic force to contend with. Locally, our politicians are acting much the same. They remind you of dozens of talangkas all pulling each other down to prevent the one with the best solutions for our country’s problems from reaching the top of the pail. In the 21st Century, pulling each other down is still the Filipino game of choice. For this reason, most Filipinos have never gotten far in life because their minds are still trapped within the walls of the Republic of Talangkas. How do we trace the origins of the crab mentality? Perhaps, it could be traced during the Spanish times when the peninsulares would sit down after dinner, criticize and bouth other people while never looking at their own faults. Worse, they believed they were God’s gift to the country because they were legends in their own minds. Earlier, the conquistadores used the divide-and-conquer strategy to set off regions against regions and provinces against provinces in order to prevent a united revolt. As a result, Filipinos became generally resentful and distrustful of one another. This could be the most probable cause of our crustacean sensibilities. The crab mentality infected Filipino rebel leaders early in the Revolution when Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo’s Magdalo faction unjustly executed Andres Bonifacio and his brother. In turn, the Macabebe Scouts from Pampanga helped the

Americans by deceiving President Aguinaldo’s boys into letting them into his hideout by pretending that the American Col. Frederick Funston was their prisoner. The crab mentality returned with a vengeance during the Japanese Occupation because it cost many Filipino and American lives. Of course, the bayong-masked Makapilis were feared and loathed by the people during those dark days. Even my father who was a doctor had his own experience with the two-legged crabs. He related to me a story about an American GI who was hacked in the neck by a Japanese soldier with a lethal katana sword used by the samurais. Fortunately, the American soldier’s neck was only one-fourth severed. My father was able to perform emergency surgery and saved his life. That same day, Japanese soldiers looked for my father who narrowly escaped with his life because of another emergency call. He later found out that a Filipino traitor had informed the Japanese of what he did. Wars brought out the worst kind of crab mentality from Filipinos because they degenerated into traitors. World War II adversely affected the Filipino psyche and character and perhaps never recovered since. Today, we see the same things with politicians still trying to outdo each other and pulling themselves down and worse together with them – the country. The question is – when are we ever going to shed off the shell of the counterproductive crab mentality? Your guess is as good as mine.

Filipino Crab Mentality: My Fair Share

I still an ABS-CBN commercial long time ago about a bucket of crabs wanting to escape but can't coz the the one from the bottom tries to pull the crab that's on top. The ment then showed that what if they'll rock the bucket back and forthtogether, they have a great chance of escaping. People who have crab mentality attitude are all around us. We all go through this, the gossip and backstabbing one way or the other. Cutting that kind of people in our lives proves to be a great solution. Crab mentality is such a filipino trait that we hear that two words at our very young age. As the famous saying goes, "we all like to see our friends get ahead, but not too far ahead.” This is such a negative attitude and this, I think, is one of the reasons we remain poor. "Ay, she has a new car and a house, I bet she has a sugar daddy"

I was a victim of this not too long ago and I have no choice but to cut ties with them. And what hurts me the most are they are my relatives, a grandmother (sister of my mom's mom). I can't believe someone that old can hurt someone who is 40 years younger than her. 'Diba, we should celebrate someone's success? Why are pulling them down? Why are jumping into conclusions without even knowing the whole story? One day, my mother messaged me. She said to call right away. I called and she was crying, she told me that my grandmother was spreading rumors and confronted her that that's why I can afford to send my two nieces to a private school, put my brother to a drug rehab center, my grandfather, mom and my brother, who is attending college at the moment, and bought a house and lot because I have an old guy who have been ing me- in short, I have a sugar daddy! I was so pissed! SERIOUSLY?! THE NERVE TO SAY THAT? SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING TO SAVE

MONEY! SHE DOESN'T KNOW I ATE INSTANT NOODLES MOST OF THE TIME TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD ALL THAT! NOT TO MENTION THE MILES I WALKED JUST TO SAVE A $1.50 BUS FARE! THE NERVE! GRRRRRR. SHE KNOWS NOTHING AT ALL. One of the dumbest thing I did was to post my whole ordeal in my Facebook status *facepalm*..Ultimate facepalm! Triple ultimate facepalm. I cringed when I looked back at that whole ordeal, I should have remained calm and not post stupid statuses like that for whole people to see! Gosh, but one thing that I think I did right was to cut ties and block that backstabber in my life. No nega people please! What got me thinking to this very day is why is she doing it? She is currently abroad who has lots of real state investment back home, like a lot. Maybe 20+ at different locations all throughout Cebu City. Why would she pull someone like me, a small crab with big dreams? A small crab with high hopes to pull out my family from poverty? Why? She alone can answer that and for now, I continue to celebrate other's success. I make them as my inspiration. I don't go on their back and stab them. Let's end crab mentality attitude one person at a time and make Philippines a better nation. Crabs do something very interesting when they are placed in a bucket or barrel, but oddly enough; us humans possess a very similar trait.

Filipinos call it crab mentality. A lot of Filipino just don’t like it when someone has a better life specially if they live next to their house that they can see them often. In my day to day life in the Philippines I have encountered many Filipino who are like a black hole trying to pull everyone they can into a dark place that represent; sadness, depression and drama but even with that I am still not so use to it and I am not like a black hole. When someone starts talking and pulling everyone down by making a bad picture of anyone they hate (just because of the fact that they are so jealous of the way they live or the way they are) I talk back and my words tell them that I am not into their game – and it is like I push them out of my life. It some how disturb me that “crab mentality” has become a norm in our society to a point that we hardly even see it as a bad thing anymore and those who are against it are considered not sociable and unfriendly. So far, I have observe that a few well educated Filipino are not into that kind of attitude, it seems that their good education helps them become more humane. But Philippines is a 3rd world country so more than half of its population is not well educated so as expected much of its populace is not well educated enough to live in harmony with other people in a less destructive way. As I see it – it takes a good education and some mental level for one to know how to realistically analyze and criticize the culture and traditions one has experience and live with for the rest of his life. 10 ways to write a better speech 1-Learn your time limit and calculate your word count. The average person speaks at somewhere between 125 and 150 words per minute. It’s almost always better to speak more slowly than too quickly. Thus, if you’re speaking for 20 minutes, you want a total word count of somewhere between 2,500 and 3,000 words. Be careful! I once got the math wrong and saddled a good friend with a 48minute speech when he was trying for 30. Yikes! 2-Once you have experience as a speaker, work hard to avoid word-for-word speeches unless you have a teleprompter. Your delivery will be more interesting and more natural if you speak from notes or an outline rather than a script. Memorize an introduction if you like, to help get yourself going but

use just notes for the rest. Yes, your speech may not be “perfect.” But having a few mistakes is okay if they help you improve your delivery. Your ability to be interesting and to engage with the audience will make up for any small lapses. 3-No matter how long the speech, always divide it into five parts: an introduction, point 1, point 2, point 3 and a conclusion. Or, in other words, tell people what you’re going to tell them, tell them what you want to say and then wrap up by telling them what you just said. This format is adaptable to a speech of just about any length but I’d divide a 20-minute speech as follows: Introduction: 2 minutes (250 words) Point 1: 5 minutes (625 words) Point 2: 5 minutes (625 words) Point 3: 5 minutes (625 words) Conclusion: 3 minutes (375 words) Total word count: 2,500 words (20 minutes) If you’re thin on ideas for the three points, consider using a mindmap to help you. Mindmapping is the best way for you to make your speech more interesting, more personal and more coherent. 4-Shower your audience with stories rather than drown them in facts. If you have a story (anecdote or example) to illustrate each of your three points, so much the better. Stories are “sticky” — that is, people them. I once interviewed a CEO for whom I’d been hired to write a speech. The man was utterly bereft of stories. I was at my wit’s end until I decided that I’d have to lard his speech with some stories of my own that I could carefully repurpose to make them sound as though they’d come from him. Don’t tell me that business people don’t want to hear stories. Of course they do! Have you ever listened to Warren Buffett speak? Or Bill Gates? Or Josh Linkner? Stories are the spoonful of sugar that make the medicine (facts) go down. Think about the worst speech you’ve ever heard in your life. Now, reflect on the best. I can guarantee that the former was filled with facts and the latter with stories. Human beings are hardwired to appreciate stories and the sooner you stop fighting that fact, the sooner you’ll be able to write a memorable speech 5-Have a purpose but make it a modest one. Don’t expect your audience to be able to walk away reciting your 10-point corporate plan. Instead, express the single key message of your speech — the one important thing you want your audience to be able to , for sure — as a single sentence. Write it on a piece of paper and stick it to your bulletin board so you can see it as you’re writing your speech. Keep this purpose at the top of your mind at all times. 6-Understand that repetition is mandatory because speaking is analogue, not digital. People don’t listen to speeches in the same way they read books. You talk, your words travel into their ears and if they happen to be thinking about what to make for dinner that night, your message will not get through. Worse, your audience has no “rewind” button they can hit. (If their attention has strayed while reading, they can flip back in the book.) This is why you MUST repeat the points you are trying to make at least three times: once in the intro, once when you make them and once again in your conclusion. It may seem overly repetitious to you, but it won’t to your audience. 7) Don’t waste your opening. I see speakers do this in three primary ways. First, they spend too much time shuffling paper. Don’t do this! Be organized and ready to go as soon as you take the stage. The second mistake is they spend the first 45 seconds thanking an endless number of people. No! Don’t do that! The first 45 seconds are your most precious chance to grab the attention of your audience. Thank the person who introduced you with one brief sentence and then dive into an attentiongetting opening. (You can give thanks to others, if you need to, towards the end of your speech.) Finally, some people feel obliged to begin with lame opening jokes that are unrelated to the actual speech topic. These always feel fake and tacked on. You want humour to be organic — that is, related to the topic you’re covering. The best way to begin a speech is with an interesting fact or an attention-getting story. No exceptions!