122 The Switch Glitch 58442d
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The Fairly OddParents “The Switch Glitch” (AN 11 MINUTE SCRIPT) #122
Written By: Jenny Nissenson First Draft: 2/5/01 Second Draft: 2/13/01 Third Draft: 2/16/01 Final Draft: 2/22/01 Nickelodeon Animation Studios c 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
FADE IN: EXT. THE TURNER HOUSE (ESTABLISHING SHOT) - 8:00 AM DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - SAME TIME TIMMY sleeps the sleep of the just. The ALARM rings. 1 It’s Saturday!
TIMMY
Timmy runs to the fishbowl in his PJs as COSMO and WANDA, also in PAJAMAS, swim out of the castle as FISH. 2 TIMMY You guys know what Saturday means! POOF! Cosmo and Wanda pop into fairy form. 3
COSMO
Cartoons! 4 WANDA Outdoor activities, like gardening and bird watching! (off Timmy’s glare; dryly) Or cartoons. Through the WINDOW, we see VICKY approaching. 5 COSMO (Totally into the moment) Or Vicky! Wait. That’s not a good thing. (now terrified) Or Vicky! 6 TIMMY On the weekend? No!!! Timmy bolts out of the room and we... CUT TO: INT. THE LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER Timmy pleads with MOM AND DAD, who are preparing to leave. 7 DAD Now, Timmy. You know you can’t come with us to the Annual, Mother, Father No-Kids-Allowed Cook Out!
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
8 TIMMY But it’s Saturday! Satur-DAY! We have a deal -Timmy pulls out a notarized CONTRACT. 9 TIMMY It says here quite clearly, and I quote, “Timmy will not need a baby sitter on the weekends.” 10 DAD Well, you’re right, Son. This is a legal document. A really nice legal document! Mom takes a out a FISH and wraps it with the contract. 11 MOM And now it’s fish wrap. Really nice fish wrap! ON MOM, DAD, TIMMY AND VICKY as she enters. 12 MOM Don’t feel bad, Sweetie. It’s just one Saturday. You’ll have a lot more fun here with Vicky! 13 How do you know?
TIMMY
LONG BEAT. 14
MOM AND DAD
Well... BYE! 15 VICKY Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Turner! Mom and Dad exit. The door shuts. Timmy looks worried. 16 VICKY Don’t worry, Twerpy! You’re in for a great day! I brought all kinds of fun things for us to do together. 17
TIMMY
18
VICKY
Really? Nope! Vicky whips out a gigantic STEAMER TRUNK, opens it and starts throwing STUFF at Timmy. He stares blankly and angrily as the items bounce off his chest.
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
19 VICKY These are my SHOES that need to be shined. These are my CLOTHES that need to be washed. This is my HOMEWORK that 20 VICKY (CONT.) needs to be done. And this is my butt, which will be in that chair while I watch you do it all! 21 And if I refuse?
TIMMY
22 VICKY Then I let your parents listen to this recording I made of you! Vicky pulls out a handheld TAPE RECORDER and hits play. 23 RECORDED TIMMY VOICE (VO) Hi! I’m Timmy Turner and I... 24 A DEEP MALE VOICE (VO) ...cheated on my math test! 25 TIMMY That’s not me! I never cheated on my math test! Vicky pulls out ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER, on which she has just recorded Timmy’s dialogue. She plays them in order. 26 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER#1 (VO) Hi! I’m Timmy Turner and I... 27 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER#2 (VO) ...cheated on my math test! Timmy sinks. 28 I’ll get to work. 29
TIMMY VICKY
Wait. Vicky switfly dresses Timmy in an APRON and ties a BANDANA around his head. 30 TIMMY I’m not doing chores in a dress!
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Vicky hits play on both recorders. 31 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER #1 (VO) Hi I’m Timmy Turner and... 32 (VO) ...I’m in a dress!
TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER #2
Timmy sighs and sulks OS as we... DISSOLVE TO: INT. THE TURNER GARAGE - 10:30 AM Timmy, now in his housekeeper outfit, scrubs Vicky’s clothes on an oldfashioned WASHBOARD. Cosmo and Wanda float nearby. disguised as SOAP BUBBLES. 33 TIMMY I can’t believe this! Every time Vicky comes over, she ruins my day! 34 COSMO Aw, Timmy, it could be worse... The Cosmo bubble pops. The Wanda bubble floats up. 35 WANDA ... She could be publicly humiliating you! Vicky enters and opens the WINDOW SHADE, revealing a group of BOYS and GIRLS all staring at Timmy. They burst into LAUGHTER and SNAP PHOTOS. 36 BOYS/GIRLS WAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAH!!! Timmy fumes as we... DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - LATER Timmy sits on his bed, head buried in his hands. Cosmo and Wanda are in the fishbowl. 37 TIMMY Oh, man! I’m so embarrassed... 38
COSMO
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Aw, Timmy. At least nobody can see you up here on the second floor, right? BOING! The pack of kids, as a group, bounce up into his window, take a series of snapshots, then fall OS. CUT TO: OUTSIDE THE WINDOW The kids, as a group, bounce on a TRAMPOLINE up to the window to take photos. Vicky stands before a huge LINE OF KIDS, holding a “See the boy in the dress” sign. 39 VICKY See the boy in the dress! Five bucks! CUT TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - SAME TIME SFX: BOING! The kids can be seen in the window yet again. They fall OS. 40 TIMMY I wish the trampoline was gone. The wands are waved. Poof! SFX: CRASH! 41
KIDS (OS)
AGH!!! 42 TIMMY I hate being babysat by Vicky! She can do anything she wants to me and I can’t stop her! 43 WANDA Well, Kiddo... that’s kind of what the babysitter gets to do! 44 TIMMY Yeah! And if I was the babysitter, she’d have to listen to me, right? 45 COSMO I know where this is going! POOF! Cosmo’s in a “Carmen Miranda’ outfit, fruit basket HAT, Spanish SKIRT, the works. 46 TIMMY Yeah! I wish I could be Vicky’s babysitter!
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
47 COSMO Ay caramba! I’m never gonna get to be in the show! Cosmo and Wanda raise their wands and POOF! CUT TO: INT. TIMMY’S LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME Vicky, wad of cash in one hand, tape recorder in the other, dictates a message. 48 VICKY Note to self: Torturing twerp continues to bear no feelings of remorse. Good. (beat; something’s happening) Huh? POOF! Vicky magically shrinks from the 16 year old wench that she is, down to a FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL. The tape recorder drops to the ground and bounces away. 49 LITTLE VICKY Hey! Wha’ happened? Vicky goes to grab the tape recorder, looks up and sees Timmy (still his own age) towering over her. 50 LITTLE VICKY Who are you? And where am I? Everything looks bigger. 51 TIMMY Hi, Vicky! You’re five! And I’m your ten-year-old baby-sitter, Timmy! You’re in for a great day! 52
LITTLE VICKY
Really? 53 TIMMY Nope. Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back. Timmy smiles, and holds up a PLUNGER. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. TIMMY’S YARD - MOMENTS LATER Five year old Vicky is trying and failing to cut the lawn with the toilet plunger. Timmy sips a glass of ICED TEA in a LOUNGE CHAIR, with Cosmo and Wanda in the fishbowl.
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
54 LITTLE VICKY I can’t cut the grass with just a plunger! 55 TIMMY You’re right, Twerpette. My bad. Timmy hands her a MOP. 56 Knock yourself out. 57
TIMMY LITTLE VICKY
But... 58 TIMMY AHP! We wouldn’t want your Mommy to hear this, would we? Timmy pulls out the TAPE RECORDER. 59 Hi, I’m Vicky! And I...
RECORDED LITTLE VICKY (VO)
60 DEEP MALE VOICE (VO) ...stole from my Mom’s purse! 61 LITTLE VICKY I never stole from my mom’s purse! Timmy pulls out a SECOND TAPE RECORDER and plays both. 62 (VO) Hi, I’m Vicky and I...
LITTLE VICKY ON RECORDER #1
63 LITTLE VICKY ON RECORDER #2 (VO) ...stole from my mom’s purse! Vicky fumes and storms OS. 64 TIMMY This is great! Fear the power of the new baby sitter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! 65 WANDA Ya know, Honey, being mean shouldn’t make you that happy... 66 TIMMY Maybe you’re right, Wanda.
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
67
WANDA
Really? 68 TIMMY Nope! I’m gonna give Vicky the most miserable day of her life. So declares Evil Babysitter Timmy! DISSOLVE TO: MONTAGE: Timmy puts Vicky through the worst day of her life. A “super happy” tune (ala “The Brady Kids’ Sunshine Day”) plays over the following scenes. EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY. Timmy happily bounces a COSMO BASKETBALL. WIDEN TO REVEAL he’s bouncing it off Vicky’s head. 69 COSMO/VICKY Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 70 TIMMY Oh boy, this is fun! (beat) Isn’t it? 71 I don’t know -- is it?
WANDA
72 TIMMY It should be. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. I should try something else! CUT TO: EXT. PARK - Vicky runs, flying a WANDA KITE. Pull back to see Timmy watching her with Cosmo floating nearby. 73 COSMO I don’t get it, Timmy! Vicky’s having fun! 74 TIMMY I wish Wanda were a 747. Cosmo waves his wand and turns Wanda into a JET. She flies off with little Vicky. 75 AAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
LITTLE VICKY
76 You having fun yet?
COSMO
77 TIMMY You’d think... but no. Weird.
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
EXT. GARDEN - Vicky waters a FLOWER with a WATERING CAN. The can runs dry. PAN OVER TO TIMMY with COSMO and WANDA, who floats as BEES. 78 TIMMY Hey, Wanda, could you turn into a fire hose? 79 WANDA Aw, gonna help Vicky water the plants? 80 Something like that.
TIMMY
POOF! Wanda turns into a FIRE HOSE. ON VICKY - She turns around just as the most powerful WATER STREAM in the history of television, knocks her OS. DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S LIVING ROOM - LATER Little Vicky is wet, miserable and on the verge of tears. PAN OVER to Cosmo, Wanda and Timmy standing nearby. 81 TIMMY Man. I don’t even like her and I feel sorry for her. 82 COSMO Wow! You’ve lost your cold, hard exterior. 83 WANDA And gotten down to the chewy gooey center! 84 TIMMY I guess. I thought getting back at Vicky would be fun. But... Maybe I should apologize. 85 WANDA Way to go, Timmy. You’ve had enough revenge for one day, don’t you think? 86 COSMO Yeah, Timmy. Just all the good times you’ve had with Vicky. 87 Yeah, I guess...
TIMMY
Timmy walks over to the sniffling Little Vicky. As he walks, we see “Flashbacks” of Vicky being mean to him:
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Flashback: We see the wedgies from “Dream Goat” Timmy gets a little mad. Flashback: We see Vicky putting her fist in Timmy’s face from “Dog’s Day Afternoon.” Timmy’s face falls into a scowl. Flashback: We see various shots of Vicky screaming at Timmy. Timmy grits his teeth angrily. He stops next to Little Vicky and sees one of the tape recorders. He hits play. 88 TIMMY (VO) Hi, I’m Timmy Tuner and I’m in a dress! Timmy pockets the tape recorder. By the time he turns to Little Vicky, he’s REALLY pissed off. 89 TIMMY Hey, Vicky. I wanted to say I’m sorry. 90 (brightening) Really?
LITTLE VICKY
91 TIMMY I wanted to... BUT I CHANGED MY MIND! Timmy slaps a DUNCE CAP on her head, paints a CLOWN FACE on her face and spins her around to the window. He pulls up the shade and we see the same group of kids, now on CRUTCHES, in the window. 92 KIDS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! They all snap photos. ON LITTLE VICKY - She stares blankly... then her face erupts into a torrent of tears. She’s totally humilated. 93 LITTLE VICKY WWAAAAAAAA!!!! WAA HAA HAA!!!! ON TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA - Timmy looks on as Cosmo and Wanda stare in disbelief. 94 TIMMY Ah... ha... hmm. That’s odd. 95 What?
COSMO
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
96 TIMMY (surprised) I thought this would be hilarious! Why isn’t it hilarious? I just got my ultimate revenge on Vicky! Evil Vicky! Icky with a V! 97 WANDA No, all you did was use our magic to torment a five year old girl ‘till she cried! 98 TIMMY (long beat) You’re right. I should wish her back to normal. I... POOF! The FAIRY DISPATCHER appears. 99 FAIRY DISPATCHER Reassignment orders for Wanda and Cosmo! 100 COSMO She’s Cosmo and Wanda! 101 FAIRY DISPATCHER You’re being reassigned to a sad, little kid, who needs your help. 102 TIMMY What? Who’s the sad little kid?
103
FAIRY DISPATCHER
Her. The Fairy Dispatcher points to the crying Little Vicky. 104
COSMO, WANDA AND TIMMY
WHAT?!?! 105 WANDA We don’t want to be her Godparents! She’s mean! 106 COSMO Yeah! We like Timmy! His hat is pink! 107 FAIRY DISPATCHER So? She’s a kid. She’s miserable. You’re fairies. Make her happy. Because unless she says “I’m Happy and I don’t need my Fairy Godparents anymore” You two are stuck with her.
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
The Fairy Dispatcher waves his wand. POOF! Cosmo and Wanda disappear. 108 TIMMY But this is all a huge misunderstanding! 109 FAIRY DISPATCHER So? Who cares what you think? You’re a mean babysitter! POOF! The dispatcher disappears. ON VICKY still sniffling. Cosmo and Wanda appear next to her. 110 COSMO (bummed) I’m Cosmo. 111 WANDA (bummed) And I’m Wanda. 112 COSMO AND WANDA And we’re...your Fairy Godparents. They wave their wands and a HALF-ASSED MAGICAL LIGHT DISPLAY appears, complete with half-assed fire works and half-assed words reading: “Fairy Godparents.” 113 VICKY Neato! I have Fairy Godparents? (to Timmy) Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back!
114 TIMMY AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Timmy runs like hell. DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - LATER Push in on his closet. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CLOSET - SAME TIME The door is BARRICADED for World War III. Timmy breathes hard and is clearly panicked.
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
115 TIMMY Okay... maybe she won’t find me here... but in case she does... Timmy pulls out a QUILL PEN and PARCHMENT and BEGINS writing his LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT. 116 TIMMY I, Timmy Turner, being of sound mind and no godparents, do hereby bequeath... POOF! The quill turns into a WANDA SNAKE. 117 WANDA Sorry about this, Timmy. HISSSSSS!!!! He drops the Wanda snake and paper on the floor. 118
TIMMY
AAA! POOF! The paper turns into an ALBINO BAT and flutters around the closet. 119 TIMMY Bat! BAT BAT BAT! Timmy breaks out of the closet and into his room. He freezes against the wall. 120 TIMMY Alright, Vicky! I know you’re out there... I know you’re probably pretty mad... but put yourself in my shoes... POOF! Timmy’s shoes turn into SPRINGS that SLAM him into the ceiling 30 times in rapid succession. Timmy lands completely dazed. 121 TIMMY Okay. That’s cool. I get it. You’re getting your revenge now. Timmy grabs a PILLOW from his bed, draws on a FACE, and fits his hat on it. 122 TIMMY Fine. I deserve it. Tell you what, I’ll just be standing here in the middle of my room completely defenseless...
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
He sets the pillow in the middle of the floor, tiptoes to the window, opens it and starts to sneak out when an enormous COSMO DRAGON pokes it’s head into the room. 123 COSMO (happily) Look at me, Timmy! I’m terrifying! Cosmo’s head becomes Carmen Miranda’s head again. 124 TIMMY You’re right! Aaaaaagh! Timmy takes off. The dragon crashes through the window and shoots a BLAST OF FIRE BREATH after him. Timmy just makes it past the pillow statue as the fire scorches it. Timmy breaks through his door and heads downstairs. CUT TO: INT. THE TURNER LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME Timmy runs into the room to find it has become an INSANE, ALLPOWERFUL, CHILD’S PLAYHOUSE. Cosmo and Wanda, wands glowing, are panting with exhaustion. Suddenly, the floor shakes, opens up, and Five-Year-Old-Vicky rises out on a COLUMN OF TWISTED CANDY CANES. Hurricane force winds blow through the room. 125 FIVE YEAR OLD VICKY Ha! Ha! Ha! Wow! If I’m this mean now, wait ‘til I’m a teenager! 126
TIMMY
127
LITTLE VICKY
Hey, Vicky? King Vicky! 128 TIMMY But you’re a girl... 129 LITTLE VICKY I wanna be King! 130 TIMMY King Vicky? Look... when you were older, you did really horrible things to me. And now that you’re five, I thought it would be fun if I did really mean things to you. 131 And?
LITTLE VICKY
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
132 TIMMY Revenge stinks. But losing your Godparents stinks even more. So can I have my Godparents back? 133
LITTLE VICKY
134
TIMMY
Sure! Really? 135 LITTLE VICKY Nope! I wish you had pimples! POP! Timmy gets ZITS galore. 136 LITTLE VICKY And smelled bad! 137 COSMO We don’t need to help with that. 138 TIMMY Stop granting her wishes you guys! 139 WANDA We can’t, Timmy. We’re her Godparents now! Vicky, now riding on an evil, FLYING PONY, flies down to Timmy. 140 FIVE YEAR OLD VICKY I wish his head was a potty! 141 COSMO Don’t hate me for this!!! Cosmo waves his wand and POOF! Timmy’s head is a TOILET. 142 TIMMY You two have to do something... 143 Parking meter.
LITTLE VICKY
Wanda waves her wand. Timmy’s body becomes a PARKING METER. 144 TIMMY Because it’s only a matter of time... 145 LITTLE VICKY Gumball machine.
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Cosmo waves his wand and POOF! Timmy becomes a GUMBALL MACHINE. All the GUMBALLS fall out as he speaks. 146 TIMMY ...until she totally kills me! 147 WANDA Oh, she can’t do that, Timmy, it’s against the rules! Vicky stops. 148 LITTLE VICKY What? There are rules? POOF! The room returns to normal, except for Timmy, who remains a zit covered, combination toilet, parking meter, gumball machine. 149 TIMMY Well, yeah. (sensing a chance) Uh... you see, with every pair of Godparents you get a nifty rule book! 150 LITTLE VICKY Lemme see the rule book! POOF! Cosmo and Wanda make “DA RULES” appear. As Timmy speaks to Vicky, he secretly scribbles his own message into “Da Rules.” 151 TIMMY There’s lots of rules, Vicky. Lots of things you could really mess up if you’re not careful! But the most important thing is you can never say this sentence right here... ANGLE ON THE RULE BOOK: In Timmy’s handwriting, we see the phrase “I’m happy and I don’t need my godparents anymore.” 152 LITTLE VICKY (reading) “I’m happy and I don’t need my godparents anymore?” (to Timmy) Why would I say that? POOF! The Fairy Dispatcher arrives. 153 FAIRY DISPATCHER Awright! Who said “I’m happy and I don’t need godparents anymore?” 154 COSMO AND WANDA SHE DID! SHE DID! SHE DID!
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Timmy starts fake crying. 155 TIMMY WAA-HAA HAA! WAAAA! 156 FAIRY DISPATCHER Hey, who made the combination child/toilet/gumball machine/parking meter cry? 157 COSMO AND WANDA SHE DID! SHE DID! SHE DID! 158 LITTLE VICKY Oh yeah? Prove it! Timmy pulls out the tape recorder. 159 RECORDED LITTLE VICKY (VO) I’m happy and I don’t need godparents anymore. 160 FAIRY DISPATCHER Wow! You made this kid go from miserable to content in nothing flat! The messenger pulls out a big RUBBER STAMP and stamps the side of her face. The stamp reads “Happy!” 161
LITTLE VICKY
Hey! 162 FAIRY DISPATCHER (to Timmy) You, on the other hand, are miserable. And, need a quarter. The Dispatcher shoves a QUARTER into Timmy’s meter. 163 FAIRY DISPATCHER (to Cosmo and Wanda) Miserable kid. Fairy Godparents. Make with the happy. POOF! The Dispatcher waves his wand and disappears. With a poof, Cosmo and Wanda disappear from next to Vicky and reappear next to Timmy. Vicky’s eyes widen with horror. 164 LITTLE VICKY I lost my Godparents? Already? NOOOOOOOOOOO! 165
COSMO
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Whattya gonna do to her, Timmy? Head like a toilet? Face full of zits? 166 TIMMY Oh no... Better than that... DISSOLVE TO: EXT. TIMMY’S BACKYARD - LATER There’s a full-scale, kids’ BIRTHDAY PARTY going on, merry-go-rounds, the works. Vicky sits at the head of the table, a piece of CAKE in front of her. Every other kid is laughing, screaming, having a great time! 167 LITTLE VICKY But I’m miserable! Why won’t anybody believe me? I’m... (beat) Ooooo! Vanilla! She starts chowing down on the cake. ON TIMMY in the lawn chair, watching with COSMO AND WANDA 168 WANDA Why are you being so nice to Vicky! 169 TIMMY Well... if weren’t for her making me so miserable, I wouldn’t have gotten you guys in the first place! So now I’m gonna give her the best day of her life! 170
WANDA
Really! 171 TIMMY Yep! And best of all, when I wish her back to 16, she won’t a thing! 172 WANDA See, Timmy. Two wrongs don’t make a right! 173 COSMO Yeah, but three rights make a left! And now it’s time for the show! Poof! Cosmo dons his Carmen Miranda outfit, begins to dance and... 174 COSMO (sings one note) 175 Wanda?
TIMMY
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
POOF! Wanda turns into a fire hose -- which Timmy subsequently turns on Cosmo. And on good, high pressured, water induced fun, we... IRIS OUT END OF EPISODE
Written By: Jenny Nissenson First Draft: 2/5/01 Second Draft: 2/13/01 Third Draft: 2/16/01 Final Draft: 2/22/01 Nickelodeon Animation Studios c 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
FADE IN: EXT. THE TURNER HOUSE (ESTABLISHING SHOT) - 8:00 AM DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - SAME TIME TIMMY sleeps the sleep of the just. The ALARM rings. 1 It’s Saturday!
TIMMY
Timmy runs to the fishbowl in his PJs as COSMO and WANDA, also in PAJAMAS, swim out of the castle as FISH. 2 TIMMY You guys know what Saturday means! POOF! Cosmo and Wanda pop into fairy form. 3
COSMO
Cartoons! 4 WANDA Outdoor activities, like gardening and bird watching! (off Timmy’s glare; dryly) Or cartoons. Through the WINDOW, we see VICKY approaching. 5 COSMO (Totally into the moment) Or Vicky! Wait. That’s not a good thing. (now terrified) Or Vicky! 6 TIMMY On the weekend? No!!! Timmy bolts out of the room and we... CUT TO: INT. THE LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER Timmy pleads with MOM AND DAD, who are preparing to leave. 7 DAD Now, Timmy. You know you can’t come with us to the Annual, Mother, Father No-Kids-Allowed Cook Out!
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
8 TIMMY But it’s Saturday! Satur-DAY! We have a deal -Timmy pulls out a notarized CONTRACT. 9 TIMMY It says here quite clearly, and I quote, “Timmy will not need a baby sitter on the weekends.” 10 DAD Well, you’re right, Son. This is a legal document. A really nice legal document! Mom takes a out a FISH and wraps it with the contract. 11 MOM And now it’s fish wrap. Really nice fish wrap! ON MOM, DAD, TIMMY AND VICKY as she enters. 12 MOM Don’t feel bad, Sweetie. It’s just one Saturday. You’ll have a lot more fun here with Vicky! 13 How do you know?
TIMMY
LONG BEAT. 14
MOM AND DAD
Well... BYE! 15 VICKY Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Turner! Mom and Dad exit. The door shuts. Timmy looks worried. 16 VICKY Don’t worry, Twerpy! You’re in for a great day! I brought all kinds of fun things for us to do together. 17
TIMMY
18
VICKY
Really? Nope! Vicky whips out a gigantic STEAMER TRUNK, opens it and starts throwing STUFF at Timmy. He stares blankly and angrily as the items bounce off his chest.
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
19 VICKY These are my SHOES that need to be shined. These are my CLOTHES that need to be washed. This is my HOMEWORK that 20 VICKY (CONT.) needs to be done. And this is my butt, which will be in that chair while I watch you do it all! 21 And if I refuse?
TIMMY
22 VICKY Then I let your parents listen to this recording I made of you! Vicky pulls out a handheld TAPE RECORDER and hits play. 23 RECORDED TIMMY VOICE (VO) Hi! I’m Timmy Turner and I... 24 A DEEP MALE VOICE (VO) ...cheated on my math test! 25 TIMMY That’s not me! I never cheated on my math test! Vicky pulls out ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER, on which she has just recorded Timmy’s dialogue. She plays them in order. 26 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER#1 (VO) Hi! I’m Timmy Turner and I... 27 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER#2 (VO) ...cheated on my math test! Timmy sinks. 28 I’ll get to work. 29
TIMMY VICKY
Wait. Vicky switfly dresses Timmy in an APRON and ties a BANDANA around his head. 30 TIMMY I’m not doing chores in a dress!
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Vicky hits play on both recorders. 31 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER #1 (VO) Hi I’m Timmy Turner and... 32 (VO) ...I’m in a dress!
TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER #2
Timmy sighs and sulks OS as we... DISSOLVE TO: INT. THE TURNER GARAGE - 10:30 AM Timmy, now in his housekeeper outfit, scrubs Vicky’s clothes on an oldfashioned WASHBOARD. Cosmo and Wanda float nearby. disguised as SOAP BUBBLES. 33 TIMMY I can’t believe this! Every time Vicky comes over, she ruins my day! 34 COSMO Aw, Timmy, it could be worse... The Cosmo bubble pops. The Wanda bubble floats up. 35 WANDA ... She could be publicly humiliating you! Vicky enters and opens the WINDOW SHADE, revealing a group of BOYS and GIRLS all staring at Timmy. They burst into LAUGHTER and SNAP PHOTOS. 36 BOYS/GIRLS WAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAH!!! Timmy fumes as we... DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - LATER Timmy sits on his bed, head buried in his hands. Cosmo and Wanda are in the fishbowl. 37 TIMMY Oh, man! I’m so embarrassed... 38
COSMO
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Aw, Timmy. At least nobody can see you up here on the second floor, right? BOING! The pack of kids, as a group, bounce up into his window, take a series of snapshots, then fall OS. CUT TO: OUTSIDE THE WINDOW The kids, as a group, bounce on a TRAMPOLINE up to the window to take photos. Vicky stands before a huge LINE OF KIDS, holding a “See the boy in the dress” sign. 39 VICKY See the boy in the dress! Five bucks! CUT TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - SAME TIME SFX: BOING! The kids can be seen in the window yet again. They fall OS. 40 TIMMY I wish the trampoline was gone. The wands are waved. Poof! SFX: CRASH! 41
KIDS (OS)
AGH!!! 42 TIMMY I hate being babysat by Vicky! She can do anything she wants to me and I can’t stop her! 43 WANDA Well, Kiddo... that’s kind of what the babysitter gets to do! 44 TIMMY Yeah! And if I was the babysitter, she’d have to listen to me, right? 45 COSMO I know where this is going! POOF! Cosmo’s in a “Carmen Miranda’ outfit, fruit basket HAT, Spanish SKIRT, the works. 46 TIMMY Yeah! I wish I could be Vicky’s babysitter!
7
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
47 COSMO Ay caramba! I’m never gonna get to be in the show! Cosmo and Wanda raise their wands and POOF! CUT TO: INT. TIMMY’S LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME Vicky, wad of cash in one hand, tape recorder in the other, dictates a message. 48 VICKY Note to self: Torturing twerp continues to bear no feelings of remorse. Good. (beat; something’s happening) Huh? POOF! Vicky magically shrinks from the 16 year old wench that she is, down to a FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL. The tape recorder drops to the ground and bounces away. 49 LITTLE VICKY Hey! Wha’ happened? Vicky goes to grab the tape recorder, looks up and sees Timmy (still his own age) towering over her. 50 LITTLE VICKY Who are you? And where am I? Everything looks bigger. 51 TIMMY Hi, Vicky! You’re five! And I’m your ten-year-old baby-sitter, Timmy! You’re in for a great day! 52
LITTLE VICKY
Really? 53 TIMMY Nope. Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back. Timmy smiles, and holds up a PLUNGER. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. TIMMY’S YARD - MOMENTS LATER Five year old Vicky is trying and failing to cut the lawn with the toilet plunger. Timmy sips a glass of ICED TEA in a LOUNGE CHAIR, with Cosmo and Wanda in the fishbowl.
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
54 LITTLE VICKY I can’t cut the grass with just a plunger! 55 TIMMY You’re right, Twerpette. My bad. Timmy hands her a MOP. 56 Knock yourself out. 57
TIMMY LITTLE VICKY
But... 58 TIMMY AHP! We wouldn’t want your Mommy to hear this, would we? Timmy pulls out the TAPE RECORDER. 59 Hi, I’m Vicky! And I...
RECORDED LITTLE VICKY (VO)
60 DEEP MALE VOICE (VO) ...stole from my Mom’s purse! 61 LITTLE VICKY I never stole from my mom’s purse! Timmy pulls out a SECOND TAPE RECORDER and plays both. 62 (VO) Hi, I’m Vicky and I...
LITTLE VICKY ON RECORDER #1
63 LITTLE VICKY ON RECORDER #2 (VO) ...stole from my mom’s purse! Vicky fumes and storms OS. 64 TIMMY This is great! Fear the power of the new baby sitter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! 65 WANDA Ya know, Honey, being mean shouldn’t make you that happy... 66 TIMMY Maybe you’re right, Wanda.
8
9
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
67
WANDA
Really? 68 TIMMY Nope! I’m gonna give Vicky the most miserable day of her life. So declares Evil Babysitter Timmy! DISSOLVE TO: MONTAGE: Timmy puts Vicky through the worst day of her life. A “super happy” tune (ala “The Brady Kids’ Sunshine Day”) plays over the following scenes. EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY. Timmy happily bounces a COSMO BASKETBALL. WIDEN TO REVEAL he’s bouncing it off Vicky’s head. 69 COSMO/VICKY Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 70 TIMMY Oh boy, this is fun! (beat) Isn’t it? 71 I don’t know -- is it?
WANDA
72 TIMMY It should be. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. I should try something else! CUT TO: EXT. PARK - Vicky runs, flying a WANDA KITE. Pull back to see Timmy watching her with Cosmo floating nearby. 73 COSMO I don’t get it, Timmy! Vicky’s having fun! 74 TIMMY I wish Wanda were a 747. Cosmo waves his wand and turns Wanda into a JET. She flies off with little Vicky. 75 AAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
LITTLE VICKY
76 You having fun yet?
COSMO
77 TIMMY You’d think... but no. Weird.
10
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
EXT. GARDEN - Vicky waters a FLOWER with a WATERING CAN. The can runs dry. PAN OVER TO TIMMY with COSMO and WANDA, who floats as BEES. 78 TIMMY Hey, Wanda, could you turn into a fire hose? 79 WANDA Aw, gonna help Vicky water the plants? 80 Something like that.
TIMMY
POOF! Wanda turns into a FIRE HOSE. ON VICKY - She turns around just as the most powerful WATER STREAM in the history of television, knocks her OS. DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S LIVING ROOM - LATER Little Vicky is wet, miserable and on the verge of tears. PAN OVER to Cosmo, Wanda and Timmy standing nearby. 81 TIMMY Man. I don’t even like her and I feel sorry for her. 82 COSMO Wow! You’ve lost your cold, hard exterior. 83 WANDA And gotten down to the chewy gooey center! 84 TIMMY I guess. I thought getting back at Vicky would be fun. But... Maybe I should apologize. 85 WANDA Way to go, Timmy. You’ve had enough revenge for one day, don’t you think? 86 COSMO Yeah, Timmy. Just all the good times you’ve had with Vicky. 87 Yeah, I guess...
TIMMY
Timmy walks over to the sniffling Little Vicky. As he walks, we see “Flashbacks” of Vicky being mean to him:
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Flashback: We see the wedgies from “Dream Goat” Timmy gets a little mad. Flashback: We see Vicky putting her fist in Timmy’s face from “Dog’s Day Afternoon.” Timmy’s face falls into a scowl. Flashback: We see various shots of Vicky screaming at Timmy. Timmy grits his teeth angrily. He stops next to Little Vicky and sees one of the tape recorders. He hits play. 88 TIMMY (VO) Hi, I’m Timmy Tuner and I’m in a dress! Timmy pockets the tape recorder. By the time he turns to Little Vicky, he’s REALLY pissed off. 89 TIMMY Hey, Vicky. I wanted to say I’m sorry. 90 (brightening) Really?
LITTLE VICKY
91 TIMMY I wanted to... BUT I CHANGED MY MIND! Timmy slaps a DUNCE CAP on her head, paints a CLOWN FACE on her face and spins her around to the window. He pulls up the shade and we see the same group of kids, now on CRUTCHES, in the window. 92 KIDS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! They all snap photos. ON LITTLE VICKY - She stares blankly... then her face erupts into a torrent of tears. She’s totally humilated. 93 LITTLE VICKY WWAAAAAAAA!!!! WAA HAA HAA!!!! ON TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA - Timmy looks on as Cosmo and Wanda stare in disbelief. 94 TIMMY Ah... ha... hmm. That’s odd. 95 What?
COSMO
11
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
96 TIMMY (surprised) I thought this would be hilarious! Why isn’t it hilarious? I just got my ultimate revenge on Vicky! Evil Vicky! Icky with a V! 97 WANDA No, all you did was use our magic to torment a five year old girl ‘till she cried! 98 TIMMY (long beat) You’re right. I should wish her back to normal. I... POOF! The FAIRY DISPATCHER appears. 99 FAIRY DISPATCHER Reassignment orders for Wanda and Cosmo! 100 COSMO She’s Cosmo and Wanda! 101 FAIRY DISPATCHER You’re being reassigned to a sad, little kid, who needs your help. 102 TIMMY What? Who’s the sad little kid?
103
FAIRY DISPATCHER
Her. The Fairy Dispatcher points to the crying Little Vicky. 104
COSMO, WANDA AND TIMMY
WHAT?!?! 105 WANDA We don’t want to be her Godparents! She’s mean! 106 COSMO Yeah! We like Timmy! His hat is pink! 107 FAIRY DISPATCHER So? She’s a kid. She’s miserable. You’re fairies. Make her happy. Because unless she says “I’m Happy and I don’t need my Fairy Godparents anymore” You two are stuck with her.
12
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
The Fairy Dispatcher waves his wand. POOF! Cosmo and Wanda disappear. 108 TIMMY But this is all a huge misunderstanding! 109 FAIRY DISPATCHER So? Who cares what you think? You’re a mean babysitter! POOF! The dispatcher disappears. ON VICKY still sniffling. Cosmo and Wanda appear next to her. 110 COSMO (bummed) I’m Cosmo. 111 WANDA (bummed) And I’m Wanda. 112 COSMO AND WANDA And we’re...your Fairy Godparents. They wave their wands and a HALF-ASSED MAGICAL LIGHT DISPLAY appears, complete with half-assed fire works and half-assed words reading: “Fairy Godparents.” 113 VICKY Neato! I have Fairy Godparents? (to Timmy) Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back!
114 TIMMY AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Timmy runs like hell. DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - LATER Push in on his closet. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CLOSET - SAME TIME The door is BARRICADED for World War III. Timmy breathes hard and is clearly panicked.
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
115 TIMMY Okay... maybe she won’t find me here... but in case she does... Timmy pulls out a QUILL PEN and PARCHMENT and BEGINS writing his LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT. 116 TIMMY I, Timmy Turner, being of sound mind and no godparents, do hereby bequeath... POOF! The quill turns into a WANDA SNAKE. 117 WANDA Sorry about this, Timmy. HISSSSSS!!!! He drops the Wanda snake and paper on the floor. 118
TIMMY
AAA! POOF! The paper turns into an ALBINO BAT and flutters around the closet. 119 TIMMY Bat! BAT BAT BAT! Timmy breaks out of the closet and into his room. He freezes against the wall. 120 TIMMY Alright, Vicky! I know you’re out there... I know you’re probably pretty mad... but put yourself in my shoes... POOF! Timmy’s shoes turn into SPRINGS that SLAM him into the ceiling 30 times in rapid succession. Timmy lands completely dazed. 121 TIMMY Okay. That’s cool. I get it. You’re getting your revenge now. Timmy grabs a PILLOW from his bed, draws on a FACE, and fits his hat on it. 122 TIMMY Fine. I deserve it. Tell you what, I’ll just be standing here in the middle of my room completely defenseless...
14
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The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
He sets the pillow in the middle of the floor, tiptoes to the window, opens it and starts to sneak out when an enormous COSMO DRAGON pokes it’s head into the room. 123 COSMO (happily) Look at me, Timmy! I’m terrifying! Cosmo’s head becomes Carmen Miranda’s head again. 124 TIMMY You’re right! Aaaaaagh! Timmy takes off. The dragon crashes through the window and shoots a BLAST OF FIRE BREATH after him. Timmy just makes it past the pillow statue as the fire scorches it. Timmy breaks through his door and heads downstairs. CUT TO: INT. THE TURNER LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME Timmy runs into the room to find it has become an INSANE, ALLPOWERFUL, CHILD’S PLAYHOUSE. Cosmo and Wanda, wands glowing, are panting with exhaustion. Suddenly, the floor shakes, opens up, and Five-Year-Old-Vicky rises out on a COLUMN OF TWISTED CANDY CANES. Hurricane force winds blow through the room. 125 FIVE YEAR OLD VICKY Ha! Ha! Ha! Wow! If I’m this mean now, wait ‘til I’m a teenager! 126
TIMMY
127
LITTLE VICKY
Hey, Vicky? King Vicky! 128 TIMMY But you’re a girl... 129 LITTLE VICKY I wanna be King! 130 TIMMY King Vicky? Look... when you were older, you did really horrible things to me. And now that you’re five, I thought it would be fun if I did really mean things to you. 131 And?
LITTLE VICKY
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
132 TIMMY Revenge stinks. But losing your Godparents stinks even more. So can I have my Godparents back? 133
LITTLE VICKY
134
TIMMY
Sure! Really? 135 LITTLE VICKY Nope! I wish you had pimples! POP! Timmy gets ZITS galore. 136 LITTLE VICKY And smelled bad! 137 COSMO We don’t need to help with that. 138 TIMMY Stop granting her wishes you guys! 139 WANDA We can’t, Timmy. We’re her Godparents now! Vicky, now riding on an evil, FLYING PONY, flies down to Timmy. 140 FIVE YEAR OLD VICKY I wish his head was a potty! 141 COSMO Don’t hate me for this!!! Cosmo waves his wand and POOF! Timmy’s head is a TOILET. 142 TIMMY You two have to do something... 143 Parking meter.
LITTLE VICKY
Wanda waves her wand. Timmy’s body becomes a PARKING METER. 144 TIMMY Because it’s only a matter of time... 145 LITTLE VICKY Gumball machine.
16
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Cosmo waves his wand and POOF! Timmy becomes a GUMBALL MACHINE. All the GUMBALLS fall out as he speaks. 146 TIMMY ...until she totally kills me! 147 WANDA Oh, she can’t do that, Timmy, it’s against the rules! Vicky stops. 148 LITTLE VICKY What? There are rules? POOF! The room returns to normal, except for Timmy, who remains a zit covered, combination toilet, parking meter, gumball machine. 149 TIMMY Well, yeah. (sensing a chance) Uh... you see, with every pair of Godparents you get a nifty rule book! 150 LITTLE VICKY Lemme see the rule book! POOF! Cosmo and Wanda make “DA RULES” appear. As Timmy speaks to Vicky, he secretly scribbles his own message into “Da Rules.” 151 TIMMY There’s lots of rules, Vicky. Lots of things you could really mess up if you’re not careful! But the most important thing is you can never say this sentence right here... ANGLE ON THE RULE BOOK: In Timmy’s handwriting, we see the phrase “I’m happy and I don’t need my godparents anymore.” 152 LITTLE VICKY (reading) “I’m happy and I don’t need my godparents anymore?” (to Timmy) Why would I say that? POOF! The Fairy Dispatcher arrives. 153 FAIRY DISPATCHER Awright! Who said “I’m happy and I don’t need godparents anymore?” 154 COSMO AND WANDA SHE DID! SHE DID! SHE DID!
17
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Timmy starts fake crying. 155 TIMMY WAA-HAA HAA! WAAAA! 156 FAIRY DISPATCHER Hey, who made the combination child/toilet/gumball machine/parking meter cry? 157 COSMO AND WANDA SHE DID! SHE DID! SHE DID! 158 LITTLE VICKY Oh yeah? Prove it! Timmy pulls out the tape recorder. 159 RECORDED LITTLE VICKY (VO) I’m happy and I don’t need godparents anymore. 160 FAIRY DISPATCHER Wow! You made this kid go from miserable to content in nothing flat! The messenger pulls out a big RUBBER STAMP and stamps the side of her face. The stamp reads “Happy!” 161
LITTLE VICKY
Hey! 162 FAIRY DISPATCHER (to Timmy) You, on the other hand, are miserable. And, need a quarter. The Dispatcher shoves a QUARTER into Timmy’s meter. 163 FAIRY DISPATCHER (to Cosmo and Wanda) Miserable kid. Fairy Godparents. Make with the happy. POOF! The Dispatcher waves his wand and disappears. With a poof, Cosmo and Wanda disappear from next to Vicky and reappear next to Timmy. Vicky’s eyes widen with horror. 164 LITTLE VICKY I lost my Godparents? Already? NOOOOOOOOOOO! 165
COSMO
18
19
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
Whattya gonna do to her, Timmy? Head like a toilet? Face full of zits? 166 TIMMY Oh no... Better than that... DISSOLVE TO: EXT. TIMMY’S BACKYARD - LATER There’s a full-scale, kids’ BIRTHDAY PARTY going on, merry-go-rounds, the works. Vicky sits at the head of the table, a piece of CAKE in front of her. Every other kid is laughing, screaming, having a great time! 167 LITTLE VICKY But I’m miserable! Why won’t anybody believe me? I’m... (beat) Ooooo! Vanilla! She starts chowing down on the cake. ON TIMMY in the lawn chair, watching with COSMO AND WANDA 168 WANDA Why are you being so nice to Vicky! 169 TIMMY Well... if weren’t for her making me so miserable, I wouldn’t have gotten you guys in the first place! So now I’m gonna give her the best day of her life! 170
WANDA
Really! 171 TIMMY Yep! And best of all, when I wish her back to 16, she won’t a thing! 172 WANDA See, Timmy. Two wrongs don’t make a right! 173 COSMO Yeah, but three rights make a left! And now it’s time for the show! Poof! Cosmo dons his Carmen Miranda outfit, begins to dance and... 174 COSMO (sings one note) 175 Wanda?
TIMMY
20
The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01
POOF! Wanda turns into a fire hose -- which Timmy subsequently turns on Cosmo. And on good, high pressured, water induced fun, we... IRIS OUT END OF EPISODE
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